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It’s dark and ashy in Hell, as always. Yet, surprisingly easy to settle back into his role. The demons may not respect him, but they fear him enough to obey his orders. Respect is overrated, anyway. He tries to keep the people on Earth who had clearly out of mind, but they linger. She lingers.
Even the very image of her in his mind shouldn’t be allowed in a place such as this.
He flies up to his throne after overseeing the next thousand or so souls who’ve arrived. There are more coming in, there are always more, but he doesn’t feel like making the rounds to their cells just yet. It’s constant and never-ending either way; he has eternity. He shuts his eyes and feels the expanse of relentless silence. It’s as unbearable as the screaming inside the Loops.
Dromos climbs up his throne to chat with him. Lucifer sighs.
Did him coming up here not send the message? He’d rather not deal with their idiocy at the moment.
“What,” he spits out, an order more than a question.
“I think there’s a soul you’d like to see,” he says with a grin.
I doubt that very much, he thinks, but he flies down anyway. At least he’ll have the time it takes for Dromos to climb back down to himself.
He follows Dromos to a new arrival. The man is… well, very boring with no relation to Lucifer at all.
“This is it? Some puny human?” Lucifer asks.
“He’s from Los Angeles,” Dromos says.
“Yes, many of them are. It’s a big city,” Lucifer scoffs.
Demons…
“That Detective is investigating him,” Dromos says.
Lucifer goes still, hellfire flashing in his eyes.
“You’re dismissed,” he commands.
“My lord—”
“Be gone!”
Dromos slinks back into the shadows. Lucifer sighs. Might as well take a look while he’s here.
He walks into the Loop, feeling a twinge of disappointment when he doesn’t see Los Angeles, but rather New York. Whoever this soul is, his wife doesn’t seem to be very happy with him. She yells at him, having caught him sleeping with someone else. Quite boring, really.
Hold on. Why doesn’t he know the man’s name?
“Dromos,” he says, before remembering the demon left. “Bloody Hell.”
He takes a stroll through the pathways between the tall blue columns, some stacked on top of others. If he wanted to, he could make it look like the Los Angeles skyline. He used to, when he was much, much newer to the job, make it look the slightest bit like the Silver City for any sense of familiarity.
But Hell isn’t Heaven, nor is it Los Angeles.
The pathway narrows, cells almost crushing him. It takes all his might to force them back to normal.
What the—
The air hums, as if nothing had happened.
Lucifer flies up to catch a view of Hell. Perhaps he subconsciously arranged Hell in some way? Hell stares back at him, the exact same.
Is he losing control?
Lucifer scoffs to nobody. That’s impossible— he’s the King of Hell. A volcano erupts in the distance, as if mocking the very idea. Alright… perhaps it’s time to call Amenadiel down here? The blue columns rise a little straighter, as if to agree.
You’re not supposed to order me around. I am your King, he reminds Hell.
The columns lean menacingly toward him. Ash consumes the air, making it thick as syrup.
“Alright!” he shouts.
He puts his hands together for the first time in millennia and prays to his brother. It only takes a few minutes before he hears the distinct flapping of wings that could only belong to someone as annoyingly uptight and self-righteous as Amenadiel.
“Brother,” Lucifer greets. “How long has it been on Earth?”
It’s hard to figure out from down here, and easier than asking about her directly.
“About a month or so. We’re… managing with out you. I must say, it’s been difficult without you, Luci,” he says.
She’s as okay as she can be, is what that means.
“I’m sure you didn’t call me down here for just that,” Amenadiel prods.
“I believe I’m losing control of Hell.”
“That’s impossible.”
“And yet.”
He leads Amenadiel to one of the Loops nearby so he can show his brother the situation. Thankfully, it’s a soul he actually knows, so he has some idea what to expect. Professor Carlisle shouts excuses while a crowd calls him out on his selfishness. Lucifer waves a hand to pause the Loop, including the professor.
“Now, normally,” he says. “I can change where the Loop is.”
He tries to manipulate the Loop to show something from before this moment, something that shows an inkling of the man he’d become. Perhaps high school? Most souls down here peaked in high school, so it’s a safe enough bet.
The Loop doesn’t change.
“See,” he says. “Can’t change it.”
“Maybe you’re just… out of practice?”
“It’s been millennia! If I was ‘out of practice’, don’t you think I would’ve called you down sooner? I mean, I’m already suffering enough, aren’t I?”
“Okay, alright. But Luci, I have no idea how to help you.”
Lucifer sighs. He’s out of options, and if he ever wants to see the Detective again, this may be the only way. He exits the Professor’s Hell Loop and stares up at the cloudy… sky (for lack of a better term).
“I really didn’t want to have to do this,” he mumbles.
“Luci, wait—”
“Dad!” Lucifer shouts to the sky. “Almost certain this is your fault, seeing as literally everything is, so if you could fix it and I can get on with my punishment, that’d be just… dandy.”
Amenadiel looks at him sceptically.
“What?” Lucifer says. “It was worth a try.”
Amenadiel shakes his head.
“Do you think you’re doing this subconsciously?” he asks. “Maybe Hell can sense that… you don’t want to be here.”
“Newsflash, brother, I’ve never wanted to be here,” Lucifer says. “Hell doesn’t give a toss what I want. It complies with my will because I am its ruler.”
He says the last part loudly, glaring pointedly at the sky, as if to remind Hell of its duty. The ground rumbles in disapproval.
“It’s never… thrown a tantrum like this,” he says.
The ground between him and Amenadiel cracks in half. A volcano erupts in the distance. Sparks fly through the ashy skies, as if the ash is being reignited.
“What next? A great flood?” Lucifer asks sarcastically.
“Luci! Stop provoking it,” Amenadiel admonishes.
The ground reseals itself, throwing Amenadiel towards Lucifer. They bump into each other, though Lucifer is quite certain that’s not exactly what Hell was aiming for. He refuses to hug his brother.
“Hell seems to like you, brother,” Lucifer teases.
Amenadiel glares at him. Lucifer drops his smile.
“Maybe this has to do with C—”
“Don’t,” Lucifer warns, stopping her name from being tarnished by this… well, hellhole.
It’s too hot in this five-star hellhole! he remembers her shouting, drunk in his penthouse, before he realized what she meant to him.
Ash rains down, mimicking rain pouring down from clouds.
“Perhaps there’s something to your theory,” Lucifer muses.
He tries to remember what he was thinking of every time something went wrong. The soul whose name he couldn’t remember was someone C— the Detective was investigating. The second time Hell rioted was when he was comparing it to the Los Angeles skyline and then deciding he really would prefer if the best thing in his existence wasn’t ruined for him. Professor Carlisle was the bastard who poisoned the Detective, and Lucifer didn’t want to watch him do it. It was enough seeing her at the hospital.
The ash settles.
“Is it just me or is Hell…” Lucifer trails off, not knowing how to describe it.
“Brighter?” Amenadiel asks. “It’s not just you.”
Instead of the usual midnight blue, it’s… a dark blue-grey, just a few shades lighter.
“I suppose that’s confirmation then,” he says.
He sighs. How is he supposed to rule Hell when it’s reacting to him… missing the Detective? That’s not going away anytime soon. He supposes he could commute? Or was that ridiculous?
“Luci?” Amenadiel asks.
Lucifer shushes him. He’s trying to think, for crying out loud. He shuts his eyes and tries to think of a good moment with her in it. It’s difficult, because almost every memory is tinged with some kind of longing or regret. But there’s just one that isn’t: the night in the penthouse where he was quite literally at his worst, his entire body in Devil form including the ugly giant wings on his back.
This isn’t about me, Lucifer, she reminds him.
Perhaps that’s why it works. He feels Hell bend again, back in control. Then he feels himself rising, slowly, steadily. Lucifer thinks he hears Amenadiel shout his name, but he can’t tell. He blinks his eyes open.
What the—
How is he in his penthouse? He hadn’t even unfurled his—
Wings, in the reflection of his mirror.
“Amenadiel?” he calls out.
He must have accidentally flown into someone’s Hell Loop that looks suspiciously like his penthouse, right? Right. There’s plenty of people whose Loop might include him— Malcolm, the socialite that tried to kill him after he talked down Malcolm, the street preacher…
Lucifer pours himself a drink while he waits. Even if it tastes like literal fire, he can pretend it doesn’t.
But it doesn’t taste like fire, ash, or sulphur.
“Shit,” he says flatly.
He braces himself, walks out to the balcony, and dives down back to Hell. It revolts against him, burning his skin in a way similar to when he Fell. It’s not quite as excruciating, so Lucifer can bite down the urge to shout in pain.
“Lucifer!” Amenadiel shouts as he crashes onto the floor.
“Well that was unpleasant,” he mumbles.
“What happened?” Amenadiel asks.
“I was thinking of the Detective… well, actually, I was thinking of when I managed to get my Devil form back in control. And… somehow I ended up in my penthouse. On Earth.”
“By accident.”
“Yes.”
“I’m going to the Silver City.”
Amenadiel unfurls his wings.
“Brother,” Lucifer stops him. “No. It’s not as if you’ll get any real answers. Dad and his ‘mysterious ways’.”
“You forget I’m—”
“If you say ‘the favourite’, I swear I’ll—”
“Alright! Fine. But Luci… if this really is your subconscious, I don’t think you should ignore it.”
“You sound like Dr. Linda.”
“She’s very wise. Maybe I can ask her for guidance.”
“Yes, because she’s the expert on all things celestial.”
At Amenadiel’s offended look, he relents.
“Apologies, brother. I just don’t think she’d be of much help for this particular issue,” he says with a sigh. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try, if you must. And… perhaps you’re right I don’t ignore Hell, or my subconscious. It’s not as if I can commute, though— a few days on Earth, a few thousand years down here— can I?”
“I suppose not,” Amenadiel agrees. “I’ll see if Linda has any suggestions.”
“Wonderful,” Lucifer says as Amenadiel flies back to Earth.
Lucky bastard.
🔹🔹🔹
Lucifer roams the halls, trying not to think too much about her, or Los Angeles, or Earth, or Amenadiel and Linda, or his bastard father. The demons are thankfully leaving him alone for the most part, perhaps sensing something is off. Hell has had the occasional explosive episode. Literally; the volcanoes keep randomly exploding— no matter how hard Lucifer tries to tamper down his feelings. Vaguely, he remembers the Doctor saying feelings can’t be controlled nor suppressed, that he should allow himself to feel.
If he allows himself to feel here, though, he’s almost certain this entire plane of existence would tear apart. He can feel it, in the power surging through him.
The days, months, years, centuries— he really can’t tell— move on. Amenadiel hasn’t visited, which is slightly odd, considering it’s probably been… at least a week on Earth? Again, it’s hard to tell how much time has passed here in Hell, let alone on Earth. But Amenadiel should have been here by now, unless something’s wrong. Is the Detective in danger?
Hell roars with his thoughts, lakes bubbling and the ground rumbling as if there will be an earthquake.
Lucifer tries to do one of those breathing things the Doctor recommended to him. He’d scoffed at the time; it was absolutely ridiculous. But desperate times…
“Luci,” he hears Amenadiel call out from behind him.
“Ah, brother! What on Earth took you so long?” he asks.
“Linda had a lot to say. In fact, she wrote it all down for me so I’d remember what to say. She said to tell you not to suppress your emotions, even if they’re leading to subconscious Hell meltdowns. Apparently, she showed you healthy coping skills you can use instead. Like… body scanning. Whatever that is. She explained it to me, but I don’t really understand.
“She also said to take breaks if you can. Commuting might not be that bad of an idea. Maybe even just a day every few thousand Hell-years. She asked me to ask you if that was a thing. I told her that wasn’t really how it worked.
“Last… remember there are lots of people on Earth who miss and support you. It’s okay to think about them and remember them. They might even help you through darker moments.”
Lucifer stares at him unimpressed.
“What, that’s it?” he asks. “It took you a whole week for just that?”
“Two days,” Amenadiel corrects.
“The time difference is increasing,” Lucifer comments. “I think. I mean, it’s always fluctuating… but I believe it’s been centuries since you last came down here.”
“Oh, Luci. I’m so sorry.”
“Just stay here for a moment while I go on up and… take one of those breaks. I’ll be back in a day or two, and you can tell me how long the time difference is when I get back.”
“Why do I have to—”
“Hold down the fort while I’m gone, would you? The demons still try to revolt sometimes, but I’m sure it won’t happen while you’re down here. They only get the urge every few millennia and they just fought me last week.”
He ignores Amenadiel’s stunned look and goes up to Earth.
🔹🔹🔹
Of course Lucifer would leave him down here with no explanation of what to do or how to handle things. What did he mean by demons revolting? Amenadiel has no clue how to deal with that sort of thing. He’s an angel, a soldier of God. He doesn’t… fight demons. Except Maze, he guesses.
He has no idea how Lucifer did this for all this time. Hell is dark and endless. There’s complete silence, an eerie kind of silence, where nothing can be heard. Not even the screams of the damned or the movement of air and ash. Luci was right— there’s no music in Hell, except the off-key music in some of the Hell Loops. He doesn’t spend much time in the Hell Loops either; they’re worse than the silence. Having to see the horrors of humanity, all the most monstrous people all gathered here for eternity to be tortured. It’s… terrible.
One of the doors speaks to him. Not literally, of course, but he feels drawn to it. He goes to open the door, and enters to see Delilah. The singer who was murdered when he was trying to get Lucifer to return to Hell four or five Earth years ago. He watches as she struggles to fight her vices, leading Jimmy Barnes at the alter over and over again as people whisper about how cruel she is for doing this to him. Amenadiel isn’t sure if this is actually how it happened— Lucifer had told him Hell Loops like to twist memories to their guilt.
But Delilah didn’t seem like a bad person from what Lucifer had told him. Amenadiel almost stops her from walking down the aisle for a fourth time before he hears a booming voice.
“Son,” Father calls out from Heaven.
Amenadiel frowns and leaves the Loop. Since when does Father speak to them so directly?
“You may return to Earth,” Father says.
“What about the demons? And Lucifer?” Amenadiel asks the sky.
He gets no response. Of course. He tries not to be too upset with his Father; he’s sure there’s some explanation. Though, he refuses to go back to Earth until he’s certain there will not be another demon revolt. Lucifer trusted him to do this much. And Charlie could be unsafe if something were to happen. He’d never forgive himself if he left Hell unattended and it resulted in Charlie being harmed.
The years drag on down in Hell. He suspects Lucifer has been on Earth for a few hours. Or possibly longer? Luci did say time was moving slower than normal down here. He’s sure less time has passed in the Silver City; possibly a few minutes.
“I’m not leaving until Lucifer gets back,” he reminds himself aloud.
He’s lucky none of the demons have decided to pick on him so far. Perhaps they know they would have to suffer Lucifer’s wrath once he found out.
He hopes his brother comes back soon.
🔹🔹🔹
Lucifer flies up to the Detective’s apartment. He hopes she’s home. What will he say? He was going to fly to his penthouse, but seeing as him missing her is the root cause of his current predicament… perhaps seeing her is exactly what he needs. Just… a final conversation. Perhaps he needs closure, again? They hadn’t exactly left each other on the best terms.
He hesitates for an embarrassing amount of time at her door.
“Bloody Hell,” he mutters to himself.
Lucifer knocks.
He can hear her footsteps down the stairs, drawing closer.
She opens the door.
She’s exactly as he imagined. Exactly as he left, but her hair is shorter. At least she doesn’t have bangs— he’s heard that’s not a good sign.
“Lucifer?” she whispers, breaking him out of his thoughts. “Are you real?”
“Yes,” is all he manages to say.
For a moment, she just stares at him. He’s not quite sure what to do. The last time they talked, she’d told him she loved him. But it’s been a month, according to Amenadiel. Perhaps she’s changed her mind, or found someone else, or—
Chloe pulls him down for a kiss. He returns it immediately, his hands going to gently cup her face. He’d missed her so much.
The Detective pulls away to tug him into a hug. He sighs into it. She still wears the same perfume; he’d forgotten what it smelled like. He’d almost forgotten how it felt to be close to her like this.
“How… how are you here? How have you been?” she asks, pulling away from him.
He misses her already.
“I… well, it’s a long story. I’m afraid I can only stay a day or two. Amenadiel’s down there right now, taking care of things for the meantime. How have you been?”
“Y’know, working,” she says vaguely.
He huffs a laugh.
“Of course, clever Detective,” he says softly.
“So… why are you here? Last time we talked, it seemed like you were leaving… for good,” she mumbles.
“Well, it seems my… feelings for you have created a mess of things down in Hell. I’ve been losing control subconsciously when I think of you.”
“Oh. Do you know how to, um… solve that?”
“Amenadiel said Linda suggested I take breaks and come up every so often. But it’s easier I don’t. I mean, I’ve only been on Earth a few minutes and it’s already difficult to think of going back.”
“Lucifer… I’m sorry. I know this must be really hard for you.”
He manages a small smile.
“I spent thousands of years imagining this, you know,” he says. “Getting you back.”
A pretty blush colours the Detective’s cheeks. “Yeah, me too.”
Her phone rings. Wonderful, they’re back to normal already. Always getting interrupted.
“Sorry, it’s Ella,” she says, back in Detective mode.
Lucifer can’t help but smile.
“Mind joining me on a case while you’re here?” she asks.
“Lead the way, Detective.”
She smiles, picking up the phone.
🔹🔹🔹
A couple more centuries later of wandering around on foot, Amenadiel finally unfurls his wings. He flies up to Lucifer’s throne, which oversees the entire landscape. He doesn’t know how his brother managed all this time. This throne seems so desolate, like the rest of Hell. Amenadiel had tried finding a… well, a decent spot or Loop he could stay in. But there’s nothing but barren stone ground and cells for an indefinite stretch of land. All the Loops are horrible, and he doesn’t have the power to pause them like Lucifer does. He feels out of place here, with it being so different than the Silver City. He had needed to visit Hell a few times while Lucifer was on vacation to make sure souls ended up in the right place, but he’d never stayed long.
Amenadiel doesn’t sit on the throne, just… hovering for a while. He flies over all the cells, mostly exploring the place. If he’s going to be here for a while, he may as well get a lay of the land. Eventually, he flies far enough to get to those volcanoes that had been exploding when Luci was here earlier. They’re dormant for now; he’s sure they usually are, until Luci self-actualizes their explosions.
Suddenly, Hell brightens slightly.
He must be with Chl— with her.
Amenadiel understands why he wants to keep her far away from all this, from the darkness and desolation. It’s difficult being down here. It’s difficult being witness to all this evil, to humanity’s worst sins. Even witnessing it on Earth, with those drug dealers who killed Caleb was too much for Amenadiel. Lucifer is so strong to have handled this for billions of years.
For the first time in millennia, Amenadiel manages a small smile.
Hell brightens a little more.
Amenadiel tries to keep track of how long it’s been. Perhaps a close to one thousand years?
A volcano explodes. What is Luci doing on Earth? That usually happens when he’s upset about something. Is he on his way back? The thought of leaving Earth could have made him upset. He should have asked Luci to check on Linda and Charlie. Or maybe that’s what he is doing. Something Linda told him might have upset him. Amenadiel really doesn’t like not knowing what’s happening up there.
He craves conversation with someone, anyone. But he doesn’t want to enter any other Loops. Luci had warned him against that years ago, saying something about him being too angelic for the horrors of Hell. Judging by the two or three he’d tried to step into, Amenadiel doesn’t disagree. He doesn’t exactly want to speak to the demons either.
He settles for getting his feet back on the ground and walking through the corridors.
The lava running down the volcano at least provides a little visual interest. Something in the past century years that’s changed.
Another thousand years pass slowly. Amenadiel misses Linda and Charlie, as usual. He misses Lucifer, too. Not even because he wants to return to Earth. He simply misses his brother.
🔹🔹🔹
Lucifer helps Chloe as much as he can on her case. It’s one of the simpler ones, so he can muster a confession out of their suspect once they finally find him. As soon as the suspect is taken into custody, Lucifer frowns. It’s almost the end of the day, which means he should be going back to Hell soon.
“Thanks for helping me out today,” the Detective says.
“Of course,” Lucifer says. “I’m sorry I can’t stay for much longer.”
“It’s okay,” she says. “I understand.”
He’d had to tell Miss Lopez he wasn’t going to be back permanently as well, which had been harder than he’d expected. In a way, she’d become like a sister to him. Possibly because she reminds him a bit of Azrael.
“Can you stay for dinner? My place?” she asks.
“There’s nothing I’d like more,” he says softly.
They drive together, the Detective catching him up on what he’d missed over the past month. She mentions Linda and Charlie, and Lucifer makes sure to pay extra attention so he can tell Amenadiel about them. He should call them, once they’re at the Detective’s place, to see how they’re doing. Or perhaps he’ll stop by afterwards.
He refuses to stray more than three inches from the Detective, something she pretends to be annoyed about but clearly finds endearing because she doesn’t ask him to stop. Lucifer helps her cook dinner, wanting to spend as much time near her as possible. He tries to lock into his memory the smell of her perfume, her smile, the way her eyes linger on him every so often, her laugh when he says something ridiculous. He doesn’t like the idea of tarnishing this moment by thinking about it in Hell, but perhaps the Doctor is right. It may be necessary to prevent him from losing control again.
The Detective is a lot more tactile than he remembers. She’s not keeping her distance like she used to. But then, they weren’t as close back then. Are they together now? He still doesn’t know, and he’s a bit afraid to ask. They can’t fully be together, so why bring it up?
“Hey,” she says. “Don’t think about going back. Focus on me.”
“Did you get mind-reading powers while I was away?” he asks.
She laughs.
Lucifer locks it into his memory.
“Okay, all done,” she says.
“No,” he corrects, adding a bit of basil to the top of the pasta. “Now it’s done.”
“Okay, Mr. Fancy Schmancy.”
“Not ‘fancy schmancy’— sophis…”
“Sophisticated,” she says with him, in a terrible rendition of his accent.
He huffs a laugh.
She places their plates next to each other on the counter. Suddenly, he feels a pang of sadness that he can’t have this every day. He’d like it, with her. He never thought he would, but here he is… having dinner with someone he cares about and wishing he could do it every day. He even wishes the mischievous little urchin was here. Perhaps it’s better she isn’t, though. Lucifer would hate having to say goodbye to her.
“What was it like?” she whispers, quiet enough he could pretend he didn’t hear.
Lonely, is his first thought. But it feels too pathetic to say.
“Boring,” he says, because it’s easier. “Even people’s sins are unoriginal these days.”
She gives him a tight smile, like she knows he’s avoiding telling her the full truth. But she gives him an out anyway.
“There’s this restaurant that just opened near Lux,” she says. “I think you’d like it.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah…”
She goes on to talk about this new restaurant. Lucifer mostly just listens to the sound of her voice, how she laughs in the middle of something she finds exciting. How it deepens a little when she’s pointing out something he’d like, or something they could do together. The conversation slowly shifts to other things. She talks about her daughter, and Costco runs, and parent-teacher conferences. Lucifer should be bored by that, but he isn’t.
“She actually goes over to babysit Charlie sometimes,” Chloe says.
“Charlie,” he whispers to himself. “Detective, I’m sorry, but I should go check in on the Doctor and her child. Amenadiel would want me to—”
“Of course,” she says. “Tell them ‘hi’ for me, yeah?”
“I will.”
For a moment, they both just stare at each other, neither willing to move.
“Do you know when you’ll be back?” the Detective asks him quietly.
“No,” he says. “I’m sorry.”
She nods. “That’s okay.”
“Goodbye, Detective,” he says softly.
“See you soon,” she says firmly, like she won’t take anything else for an answer.
He nods.
Then he heads to the Doctor’s house. It’s late, so he doesn’t even know if she’ll open the door, but he wants to make it back to Amenadiel as soon as possible, with everything going wrong in Hell. What if Lucifer gets so upset up here a volcano explodes on him down there? He hopes Amenadiel is keeping his distance from any of the Loops.
“Lucifer!” Linda greets, opening the door.
“I just wanted to stop by and check in. I’m sure Amenadiel told you… well, everything,” he says.
“Yes, he did. Is he down there now?”
“Yes, but not to worry, Doctor. I’ll be on my way back soon. I thought Amenadiel might like to hear from you when I do, though. It’s been quite a long time for him, I imagine.”
“When did you come back?”
“Just this morning.”
“Oh. Wow. Well, tell Amenadiel we’re thinking of him. And Lucifer… take care of yourself down there, okay? Come up whenever you need a break. We’re all here for you.”
Lucifer gives a hesitant nod. He doesn’t want to come back up until everything in Hell is resolved after he goes back this time. Truthfully, he’s not sure he can take breaks the way he had today. The only reason he came up this time is because Hell quite literally forced him to.
“How’s Charlie?” Lucifer asks.
Amenadiel would want to know.
“He’s good,” Linda says. “Amenadiel hasn’t missed much, honestly. He had Spanish lessons this morning, math lessons in the afternoon, and science lessons just after his nap.”
“You’re certainly keeping him busy,” Lucifer says, amused.
“He’s half-angel, Lucifer.”
“Amenadiel doesn’t know the first thing about mathematics, and he’s a full angel.”
“I suppose you’re right. Maybe I have been a bit crazy about the whole thing.”
Lucifer hums. He wishes he could take a photo for Amenadiel, but cell phones don’t exactly work in Hell.
“Do you have any printed photos of Charlie?” Lucifer asks.
“No,” Linda says with a frown. “Why?”
“Well, I thought Amenadiel might like to see one. But no matter, I’ll be going down there soon enough.”
“Remember what I said, Lucifer.”
“Yes, yes. ‘Take care’ and all.”
Linda gives him a look like she knows he won’t listen. Lucifer ignores it and leaves to unfurl his wings. It’s time to make his way back to Hell.
🔹🔹🔹
A few days pass after the volcano explosion that Amenadiel believes is a sign Lucifer is returning to Hell. He’s not exactly sure, since this self-actualization discovery is a recent revelation. There haven’t been any more changes to Hell since then, though. Amenadiel wanders the halls of Hell. He’s about to step into Delilah’s Loop— which he’d been looking for in the past thousand years he’d been “holding the fort down”— when Lucifer lands behind him.
“Brother,” Lucifer greets.
“Luci,” Amenadiel says, surprised. “How long were you gone?”
“Only a day,” he huffs defensively.
“A day? Luci, it’s been over a thousand years. Is that normal?”
“Definitely not. I… I tried to come back as soon as possible, but no matter. You can go on up now. Linda and Charlie will be waiting for you— the child has gotten surprisingly large in one month. Is it normal for them to increase in size that fast?”
Amenadiel just stares at him unimpressed.
“What about you, brother? What about C—” he stops himself. “What about your Detective?”
“She’s fine,” Lucifer says, a hint of pain in his voice. Hell’s sky swirls a little faster.
“The way Hell is reacting makes me think otherwise.”
“Well, what are you going to do? Stay down here another few millennia so I can escape this torture? I won’t let you be punished for my mistakes, brother.”
“We can take turns, Luci.”
Lucifer scoffs, clearly about to retort.
He’s interrupted by a booming voice that could only really be one being.
“Sons,” God conveys.
There’s a blinding light that’s definitely not Lucifer’s doing.
Lucifer’s face turns stiff in surprise and quickly morphs into rage. Amenadiel puts himself between him and their father.
“Hell no longer needs a warden,” he tells them. “I believe I informed you of that millennia ago, Amenadiel.”
“Yes, Father, but I—”
“Weren’t going to leave until Lucifer came back? Would have demanded I say so in front of Lucifer, not just to you?”
Lucifer gives an ironic laugh. “So you two are talking now? What, only your ‘favorite son’ gets the pleasure of an actual response?”
“Sama—” Father says.
“Do not call me that,” Lucifer shouts.
Hell rumbles, the floor quaking. It doesn’t have enough power to throw God himself off-balance, but it tries with all its might.
Amenadiel watches as Lucifer flies off towards the volcanoes, multiple of them exploding. The lava bubbles violently, ash raining down in sheets like hail. He sighs.
He turns back to his father but, of course, God has disappeared. Why would he stay in Hell? Even if two of his sons are there. Amenadiel doesn’t bother hiding his mild annoyance. He doesn’t hate his father like Lucifer does, but his father certainly does frustrate him. What would be the point of hiding his feelings anyway? God is all-knowing. He knows things even Amenadiel doesn’t.
Like why all of this is happening in Hell. How could it mean Hell doesn’t need a warden?
Amenadiel goes to find Lucifer, so he can convince his brother to just go back to Earth. Go back to her. The details don’t matter if he doesn’t have to be punished any longer, right?
🔹🔹🔹
Lucifer is sure his father will leave if he just… ignores him. So that’s what he does, even as Hell turns violent. Fine, yes. He’s (very consciously) making Hell inhabitable for his father so that the bastard will leave.
Hear that, Dad? You’re not wanted here, nor are you needed, Lucifer thinks to himself.
Of course he can hear. He’s all knowing. He just chooses to ignore Lucifer constantly, along with all his siblings, his mother, even humans.
“I’m not ignoring you,” God says from behind him.
“Isn’t this place a little too warm for you?” Lucifer bites out, choosing to ignore his lies.
“No place is too warm to see my son.”
“Spare the pleasantries. Just… allow me to suffer in peace, would you?”
Yes, Lucifer sees the irony in his words.
“Son,” his father says, placing a hand on Lucifer’s shoulders.
Lucifer grits his teeth, trying to stop himself from shoving his father off. The urge to punch him in the face— the real him this time— is strong, but he fights it.
“You no longer have to suffer this punishment,” his father informs him.
“Why? Why now?”
Why not sooner? Were the first several billion years not enough? Was a millennium not enough?
He knows his father won’t answer any of the questions he’s asked, aloud or in his thoughts. No, as Lucifer expects, he simply smiles. Kindly. It feels like Falling.
Are you even going to apologize? Lucifer thinks.
He won’t waste his energy asking it.
For a brief moment, something close to shame crosses his father’s face. Lucifer thought seeing that would make him feel… something. But he just feels as empty as the day he realized his father never cared— and will never care— about Lucifer.
“Father,” Amenadiel says, having shown up out of nowhere. “You’re here. Still.”
“Yes, feel free to leave,” Lucifer says.
“Luci,” Amenadiel admonishes.
God simply chuckles, then vanishes. Lucifer and Amenadiel share a look.
“Well, that was fun,” Lucifer says sarcastically.
“Come on, Luci,” Amenadiel says. “Let’s go home.”
Lucifer hesitates a moment, but nods. As much as he’d like to know the reasons behind all of this, he knows he’ll never get an answer. And he misses the Detective more than he can bear.
So he unfurls his wings with his brother and flies back to Earth.
🔹🔹🔹
God pays a visit to Linda Martin. He’d quite like to meet his grandson, and he would have waited for Amenadiel but… he’s sure his son will be arriving on Earth shortly anyway. He knocks on a blue door in Los Angeles, California in the United States of America. It’s amusing what humans have done with all the things he’s given them. All these names are a bit much, he thinks.
“Uh, hello?” Linda says. “How can I help you?”
“I’d like to meet Charlie, your son,” God says.
“How do you—” Linda says, but Amenadiel has finally arrived.
“Father?” Amenadiel says. “What are you doing here?”
“Father? Like… God?”
Amenadiel looks annoyed, and Linda appears to be in awe. God smiles down on them both.
🔹🔹🔹
Lucifer goes to Lux first. He’d planned on going right to the Detective’s doorstep and tell her everything, but seeing his father out of nowhere had taken too much out of him. He checks his cell phone, though. There are plenty of notifications he’s missed— many from various social media apps, dating apps he re-downloaded while he was with Eve and never had time to delete again, hundreds of spam emails, and a few very old notifications from Sex Words with Friends Maze had sent him.
He’s about to clear his messages because he’s sure they’re all spam when he sees a text from the Detective’s offspring.
🔹
- one month ago -
(8:00 AM) i stole your number from my mom’s phone
(8:00 AM) it’s trixie btw
(8:01 AM) why did u leave?
- three weeks ago -
(9:00 AM) when are u coming back?
- two weeks ago -
(3:00 PM) mom and i miss u
(4:00 PM) pls come back
- one week ago -
(1:00 AM) can’t sleep
(1:01 AM) wish u were here
(1:02 AM) ur the only one up late except maze
(1:02 AM) but she’s working
- three days ago -
(5:00 PM) ur not coming back are u
- two days ago -
(3:12 AM) goodbye lucifer
🔹
Lucifer sighs. The urchin must be angry with him for leaving without saying goodbye. He wishes he could have responded to all those messages she sent.
Hello, urchin. Apologies. I didn’t have my phone for a while, he sends her.
Then he changes into a fresh suit and heads to the Detective’s house.
🔹🔹🔹
Amenadiel doesn’t know what Father is doing on Earth. It’s far too dangerous for him to be here, isn’t it? But he’s God, so he knows what he should and shouldn’t do. He does the only thing he can— Amenadiel invites him inside and leads him to Charlie. That is what he told Linda he was here for, so once he’s done that, he’ll go home. While his father fawns over Charlie, Amenadiel brings Linda aside.
“Lucifer is back,” Amenadiel tells her. “Father said Hell no longer required a warden.”
“How does that work?” Linda asks.
“I have no idea. I don’t know what he’s still doing here. I’m surprised Lucifer actually listened.”
“Well, I’m glad he did.”
“I guess there is one thing stronger than his pride.”
“What’s that?”
“Spite.”
Amenadiel doesn’t need to say towards who. Linda and him watch as Charlie coos in God’s arms. His father smiles in a way he’s never seen directed towards him or Lucifer. Or any of their siblings, for that matter. Absently, he wonders if his father likes Charlie better because he’s half human.
God walks towards Amenadiel and Linda, handing Charlie to his mother.
“It’s time for me to return to the Silver City,” he tells them.
“Now?” Amenadiel asks. “Why did you come to Earth?”
“I wanted to make sure you returned home.”
“What about Lucifer?”
“He does not wish to see me.”
Amenadiel is enraged at a younger version of himself for being fine with answers such as these.
“So you’re just going to leave? Without making sure he’s returned? You know the answers to every question, don’t you, Father? You knew I would return, just as you know Lucifer has. You know where he is, right now. So I ask you again why you came here,” Amenadiel demands.
“I believe you know the answer to that already,” his father says, looking over to Charlie. “It is better this way.”
And then he disappears, as suddenly and ominously as he arrived.
🔹🔹🔹
Lucifer switches off his phone. He does not want to speak to Amenadiel right now, no matter how many times he spam calls Lucifer. He just wants to see Chloe. The drive over was torture enough, with all the traffic and nuisances cutting him off though he was speeding a dangerous amount. He can’t wait to tell the Detective he doesn’t need to go back. Lucifer hesitates from knocking. What if she doesn’t actually want to be in a relationship with him? He is still the Devil after all, whether or not he’s ruling Hell. What if she only kissed him because she knew he was leav—
The door opens.
“Lucifer? I thought you left,” she says.
“Yes, about that,” he says. “Er, do you have a moment?”
She nods and allows him inside.
“I do have to go to work soon,” she tells him.
“Of course,” he says. “Long story short, Amenadiel and I are both back and my father paid us a visit to tell us Hell doesn’t need a ruler anymore.”
Chloe gives him a look of pure confusion.
“Did he say why?” she asks.
“Of course not. Bloody mysterious ways,” he says.
“Amenadiel,” Chloe says.
It’s Lucifer’s turn to be surprised. What does his brother have to do—
“Hello, Chloe. We have to talk,” Amenadiel says. “Lucifer, you too.”
Lucifer sighs. Can he just have one moment with the Detective uninterrupted?
The Detective motions towards the living room. Lucifer takes his seat next to the Detective, Amenadiel going to the armchair across from them.
“Dad— God— came to see Charlie,” Amenadiel tells them.
“He’s on Earth?” Lucifer exclaims.
“No, Luci, he left. Like always.”
“Is that bitterness I hear in your voice? Dear brother, I didn’t know you had it in you.”
“This isn’t funny, Luci. I just don’t understand why he came.”
“Perhaps he wanted to meet his grandson.”
Chloe cuts in. “So, um. What’d you need me here for? ‘Cause if you don’t, I really should head out.”
“I thought you might be able to convince Lucifer to ask Dad to come back to Earth,” Amenadiel says. “Since the only reason he left is because Lucifer ‘doesn’t wish to see’ him.”
“Hell no,” Lucifer says at the same time as Chloe.
Lucifer looks over to her in surprise.
“As far as I’m concerned, God should stay as far away from Lucifer and I as he possibly can. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have a case to work,” Chloe continues.
“We?” Lucifer asks.
“We are still partners, right?” she asks.
He smiles in response.
“Look, Amenadiel,” Lucifer says, feeling a bit sorry for his brother. “Father has not and will never care enough to speak to us. You know he won’t give you the answers you want, whether or not he’s on Earth.”
“Do you think he cares about Charlie more than us because he’s half-human?” Amenadiel asks.
Lucifer can’t even be pleased for his brother’s sudden doubt in their father. He just feels sorry for him. Nothing Lucifer can say would make him feel better, so he’s very grateful when the Detective answers for him.
“Amenadiel, maybe you should worry less about how much your dad does or doesn’t care about you and focus on the people who do care about you,” she says. “You have us, and Linda, Maze. If God can’t be there for you, at least we can be.”
“I suppose you’re right, Chloe,” he says, but there’s a weight to him Lucifer hasn’t seen since Amenadiel lost his powers.
He spares his brother one last sympathetic glance before leaving with Chloe.
🔹🔹🔹
The first few days after Father leaves are difficult. Amenadiel focuses on taking care of Charlie, avoids talking about it, and spends time with his friends. Linda doesn’t try to ask him about God, and he’s grateful beyond measure for it. Chloe invites him to lunch with her and Lucifer, keeping good on her promise to be there for him. It’s at least comforting to see them together, knowing what Lucifer has been through. He’s so glad Lucifer has found someone who helps him heal from all the things he has faced, the horrors he’s had to see. He supposes Chloe, more than most, would understand a bit what that’s like.
By the second week of this, Amenadiel feels an unwelcome urge to talk to someone about it. But nobody would understand having God himself as a parent, there for anyone but his own children. He loves his father; he could never not. Amenadiel just can’t fathom how his father could care more about Charlie, who is supposed to be against the rules his father had set, than his own children.
He can’t talk to Linda, who was so taken by God (who wouldn’t be?) it would cloud her judgment without her realization. Chloe had a good relationship with her father before he had died, so he doesn’t think she’d understand either. Lucifer… has always hated their father. Or, at the very least, has a strong dislike for God. Lucifer wants nothing to do with their father.
That’s the difference between the two of them.
On Sunday morning, Chloe is playing cars with Charlie on the living room floor. Amenadiel watches, his father’s disappearance still weighing on him. Hell still weighing on him. He wonders if it weights on Lucifer, too. His brother walks over to him, standing next to him.
“You’re a good father,” Lucifer says. “Better than—”
“Don’t say ‘ours’,” Amenadiel pleads. “You don’t understand, Luci. You weren’t—”
“I was going to say—” Lucifer interrupts. “Better than I would be. But if the shoe fits…”
“Don’t you miss him at all?” Amenadiel asks.
Lucifer fixes his gaze on Chloe. “Why would I?”
Envy seizes Amenadiel’s chest. He wishes he could move on as easily as Lucifer had. Though, he supposes Lucifer didn’t have much of a choice in the matter, being forced down to Hell.
“I know you think I hate him,” Lucifer says. “But, as the Doctor would say, feelings are more complicated than that.”
“Do you ever wish…” Amenadiel can’t bring himself to finish his sentence.
But Lucifer can. “He’d put it simply, just once? Tell us he cares?”
“Sometimes I wonder if he cares about anything except his precious creations.”
Humans. It was so easy to look down on them, easier than being jealous of them.
“That’s the difference between us, brother,” Lucifer says quietly. “I know he doesn’t.”
Lucifer had been jealous, too. He was just aware of it.
“I refuse to let him and his ‘mysterious ways’ ruin a good thing for me,” Lucifer says, jaw tight.
Chloe walks over to them, leading Lucifer away. Amenadiel watches him give Chloe a chaste kiss as they go to talk with Linda about something. Amenadiel looks to Charlie, pouting on the floor since nobody is giving him attention. Charlie looks Amenadiel in the eyes and babbles. There’s nothing Amenadiel wouldn’t do for him. Amenadiel can’t imagine ever loving another being more.
A year passes, and Amenadiel no longer misses his Father by the end of it.
🔹🔹🔹
It’s been a year since he and the Detective— sorry, he and Chloe— made things official. She asked him to move in with her last week, and he’d been hesitant. Not because he doesn’t want to live with her (he’d love nothing more) but because he’s not sure the urchin isn’t still upset with him. They’ve had game nights regularly and, besides being overly competitive at times, she hasn’t given any indication she’s angry at him. Still, Lucifer can’t shake the feeling.
There’s also the complication of him being the literal Devil.
And Daniel being her father.
Daniel has been… less douchey lately. Borderline annoying, with all this self-help nonsense, yes. To the point where he’d be comfortable allowing Lucifer near Trixie all the time, he’s not sure. Lucifer doesn’t give a toss what Daniel thinks, but he’d hate to come between Daniel and the urchin or Chloe.
The Doctor suggested he “just talk” to Chloe, but that’s easier said than done. Especially since she immediately took back her request after he’d hesitating, once again screwing things up.
So, he does the only logical thing. He reminds her of his Devilish nature every chance he gets.
“Lucifer, what is going on with you? You’re acting strange,” she asks him at the precinct that afternoon.
“Nonsense. I’m acting perfectly normal,” he says.
She glares at him. “You threw two people against a wall and flashed your eyes at three.”
“Just trying to speed up the process.”
“Lucifer. Tell me what’s wrong. Now.”
He sighs and looks over to the interrogation room. She matches his gaze and leads him over, closing the door behind them. Lucifer doesn’t really know how to tell her about his worries. They seem silly now, as he’s standing here.
“I’m the Devil,” he reminds her.
She looks at him confused. “I know. Lucifer, you know that doesn’t matter to me. I love all of you.”
“Yes, I know you do.”
“Oh. Is this about Trixie? Because I haven’t told her about… well, everything?”
“It’s… Detective. I don’t want to complicate things for you.”
“So you’d rather self-destruct our relationship?”
Lucifer reels back, the words landing like a punch. It doesn’t help that he still hasn’t been able to say those three words back, even though she hasn’t asked him to. Even though he feels it. But the Devil doesn’t love. He doesn’t know how.
“That is what you were trying to do,” she realizes.
“No,” he protests. “I…”
He hasn’t been trying to be a terrible boyfriend; he just is one.
“Detective, I… this is all so confusing,” he says. “I don’t know how to…”
“What?” she asks, clearly hurt.
“I don’t know how to be the boyfriend you deserve. I mean, I can’t even—” he cuts himself off.
Can’t even say ‘I love you’. I can’t be a father figure or a role model. How could you want me to live with your child? he wants to say.
Lucifer is better than Daniel at almost everything, except being a father.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Chloe asks, hurt turning to anger. “Is this why you didn’t want to move into my apartment? Because you think you’re a bad boyfriend?”
Lucifer searches for words that won’t come. The door opens, interrupting them. Daniel has impeccable timing with his updates. Chloe walks off with him, and Lucifer wonders why she ever chose him over Daniel. To anybody else, Lucifer would be perfect. But the Detective isn’t just anyone.
It’s Chloe.
🔹🔹🔹
Amenadiel dreams about Hell— or rather, has nightmares of it. He wonders how much worse Lucifer’s are, seeing as Amenadiel hadn’t stepped foot into a Loop. Lucifer is the only one who would understand what’s happening with him right now, so he shows up at the penthouse, knowing Lucifer will be there. It’s midnight when the elevator doors open to the sound of him playing the piano. Amenadiel wonders what it was like, sneaking visits to Earth for something as simple as teaching humans how to play an instrument.
He suddenly feels extremely guilty for his role in returning Lucifer to Hell all those times.
“Hello brother,” Lucifer says, eyes still closed.
“Did you compose this?” Amenadiel asks.
It’s not what he came to ask.
“Yes,” Lucifer says. “Mozart didn’t play it as well, but… who could?”
Amenadiel doesn’t respond.
“Do you get nightmares of Hell, too?” he asks quietly.
Lucifer scoffs. Amenadiel isn’t fooled so easily.
“Every so often,” Lucifer admits finally.
“I had one earlier. You and I were standing in the halls. One of the demons pulled your focus and I entered Delilah’s Loop—” Amenadiel says.
“Delilah’s in Hell?” Lucifer interrupts, voice shaking the slightest bit. If Amenadiel hadn’t known him since the beginning of time, he wouldn’t have noticed.
“Yes, Luci. She feels guilty for… well, I don’t know. I didn’t stay long enough to find out. Maybe for leaving Jimmy Barnes at the altar; that’s what her Loop was.”
“Probably for the best— that you didn’t stay, that is. If you got nightmares simply roaming the halls…”
Amenadiel knows he’s only trying to lighten the now tensed air. It doesn’t quite land.
“What happened after you entered her Loop in your dream?” Lucifer asks, picking up his cigarette from the ashtray.
Then, he sighs and puts it out. Amenadiel furrows his brows, but doesn’t ask.
“It was the same— she left Jimmy on the altar. I wanted to help, but then the demons started rounding on me.”
“They didn’t bother you while you were down there, did they?”
“No, only in the dream.”
Lucifer nods. “Good.”
A moment passes. Lucifer takes a drink, and Amenadiel studies it. There are many things that remain a mystery when it comes to his brother, but some things make a little more sense to Amenadiel.
“Luci,” Amenadiel says. “I had no idea… I mean, of course I knew Hell was torturous. But what you went through, nobody deserves. Whatever role I played in your torture, I’m truly sorry for.”
Lucifer looks at him as if Amenadiel told him he’s going to Mom’s universe.
“Thank you, brother,” he says quietly.
“I think talking to Linda about the nightmares would help,” Amenadiel says.
“Yes, she’s quite good,” Lucifer says.
“I meant both of us,” Amenadiel tells him. “Together or not.”
Lucifer hesitates, but then nods.
“Family therapy,” he laughs. “That’s a new one. For me, at least.”
He takes a drink, then pauses. “Hold on… therapy. That’s it.”
Amenadiel doesn’t even want to know.
🔹🔹🔹
The next day, Lucifer goes to the Detective like a man on a mission. He’s brought her favourite coffee and a chocolate cupcake for the urchin. He would’ve gotten her chocolate cake, but he thinks the Detective would have his head. She’s already upset with him as it is. He knows just the way to fix that, though.
“Detective,” he greets, handing her the coffee. “The cupcake is for your child.”
“You didn’t bring me a cupcake?” she teases lightly.
He frowns in confusion. She was angry with him, wasn’t she?
“Er, I know you prefer desserts after dinner,” he says.
“Oh, speaking of dinner, you coming over tonight?”
“Tonight? Oh, right— game night. Yes, of course. Unless…”
“Hm?”
“Detective, aren’t you upset with me?”
“What? No, I’m not— I just got frustrated yesterday.”
“So… we’re okay?”
The Detective nods and takes his hand in hers. When they’re outside the precinct, she gives him a quick kiss and looks away as if she’s afraid she’ll get arrested for public indecency. Lucifer is beyond confused now.
“I’ve been thinking,” he says as he gets into her car. “It might help to see Dr. Linda. Both of us, I mean, as a couple.”
“Lucifer, we had a disagreement the other day. I’m not breaking up with you,” she says.
His heartbeat quickens. He hadn’t even realized that was an option.
“I just think it would help me… be a better boyfriend,” he says, once he’s stopped himself from panicking.
“Okay,” she says.
First, apparently, they have to finish working this case.
🔹🔹🔹
Amenadiel discovers what Lucifer was talking about the night before when Linda gets back from work. She doesn’t tell Amenadiel any details, of course, just that Lucifer and Chloe had come in for her help. He supposes it shouldn’t be surprising. Linda has helped Lucifer through so much already. And, he’s agreed to go with Amenadiel once a month to talk about Hell and their father. The first session is this weekend, and Amenadiel has no idea what to say or do. He supposes Linda will help them get started.
For now, he focuses on Charlie, on being the dad he wanted when he was younger. When he was foolish enough to think his father would change if Amenadiel just tried hard enough. Now he knows better.
He wishes he realized all this sooner, and then he wonders how Lucifer ever went through all of this alone. He’ll try his best to make it up to his little brother now.
🔹🔹🔹
Lucifer doesn’t find it much easier to talk to Chloe in therapy than the alternative, but it helps to hear from both Chloe and Linda that he’s not a terrible boyfriend. He doesn’t know that he believes them when they tell him he’s a great boyfriend— he thinks that may be a stretch if he’s truly honest with himself— but he tries. Apparently that’s what matters.
He feels good enough about it to move in with her after a couple months of weekly therapy. The urchin is positively thrilled, and apparently has known for a while about his Devilish side.
Children are more open-minded, Linda had said. It makes sense she took you for your word when you told her.
The deviant is quite perceptive as well.
For now, Chloe, Trixie, and Linda are the only of his human friends who know about his darker side. He knows he’ll have to tell Daniel and Miss Lopez soon enough, but he supposes it can wait. He’d much rather focus on not screwing things up with the Detective.
Linda tells him she’s proud of his progress in a solo session a few weeks after he’s moved in with the Detective. For once, he thinks he agrees with her.