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Euijoo murmured a quiet melody under his breath as he absentmindedly watched whatever was playing on the TV. His body ached from the intense choreography rehearsals, especially because, during one of the practices for the tour, he had injured his knee after carelessly dropping to it, forcing too much weight onto a single spot. Yudai had said it was a sign that Euijoo was putting too much pressure on himself—a metaphor his brain had conjured to warn him that something was wrong, a glaring, bright-red danger signal.
The leader hadn't wanted to believe it, but now, with the weight of so many burdens finally lifted from his shoulders, he was almost certain Yudai had been right—or at least partially right. For months, there had been an insatiable hunger buried deep inside him, something he still couldn't name, something that seemed to be devouring him from the inside out. After all, when you don't satisfy your hunger, it kills you first. And somewhere in that dangerous dance, Euijoo realized that if he didn't do something soon, he'd be the one defeated on the battlefield.
In the end, winning also meant losing a few things along the way. A bit of dignity, perhaps. Euijoo wasn't so sure anymore, and thinking about it now, he didn't even want to know. Not when the object of his desire was lying across his lap, absentmindedly tracing invisible patterns over his "injured" knee. There was nothing more than a small purplish bruise, but the boy resting against his legs looked upset enough to make it disappear through sheer willpower alone, simply by showering it with affection.
Euijoo laughed softly, threading his fingers through the other's black hair as though he couldn't quite believe any of this was actually happening.
Did he really deserve this kind of happiness?
"Hyung," the whiny voice pulled Euijoo from his daze. Maki looked up at him with that pleading expression that was nearly impossible to refuse. "You have to take better care of yourself."
"It's just a little bruise." Euijoo poked the spot with his index finger. "See? It doesn't even hurt that much."
"Even so. I don't want to see you getting hurt."
"Since when are you so bossy?"
"Since you gave me permission."
Maki answered so naturally that it didn't even seem like he'd thought about it beforehand, leaving Euijoo momentarily speechless.
"Oh... And when exactly did I do that?"
"Forty minutes ago?" Maki arched an eyebrow, his freshly washed face making him look even more irresistibly charming. "Did you forget already, hyung?"
Euijoo felt his ears grow hot and stubbornly refused to let embarrassment consume him. It had been a decision he'd made of his own free will, so there was no reason to feel ashamed of it—not now, when everything was calm and peaceful. He needed to learn to live one day at a time, and for now, there seemed to be far more advantages than disadvantages to continuing with their arrangement.
Still, hearing Maki remind him of it was embarrassing all the same. Somehow, Euijoo could handle these things perfectly well as long as they stayed buried in the depths of his own mind, but he always struggled to navigate conversations whenever those thoughts were spoken aloud by someone else—and very rarely by himself, precisely to avoid unnecessary complications.
"Hm, you're right."
"I thought you'd forgotten," Maki teased, his bright, refreshing smile making Euijoo roll his eyes in protest, as though he still couldn't quite accept that someone like him really existed and was lying comfortably across his lap. “I'll just have to do even better next time.”
Looking rather pleased with himself, Maki let out a quiet giggle. He was probably satisfied with his performance because he could clearly see the blush spreading across his hyung's entire face, and, somehow, that was deeply gratifying to him. Euijoo didn't complain. Quite the opposite—he accepted that this was his new reality, one where he and Maki could flirt like this without feeling as though they had to walk on eggshells.
Normally, that's how it had been.
For months, ever since those feelings had surfaced, the two of them had behaved as though they were running from the very thing that kept pulling them together. Today had been different, though. At the height of his stress, surrounded by the cacophony of the members chatting away in the dressing room, Euijoo had finally found the peace he'd been craving in the arms of the boy he happened to have a crush on.
Crush was actually a rather euphemistic way of describing what he felt for Maki, but he didn't want to think about that right now.
He stretched out across the maknae's bed, feeling an ache here and there that definitely hadn't been caused by dancing. Those lingering twinges came from Maki's strong hands, which had gripped him and handled him exactly as they pleased. Some other places were aching too, but Euijoo liked the feeling to remind him of what happened.
“Let’s sleep, Maki. We have a full day tomorrow.”
“Can I stay?”
Maki looked at him with such starry eyes that he could’ve asked for the moon, Euijoo would, somehow, find a way to lace it and bring it to earth. He was not even considering saying no, the words were ready to allow Maki to do as he pleased, because Euijoo wanted nothing more than this feeling lasting forever, or for how long he could stretch it at least.
Instead of giving him a verbal answer, Euijoo pulled Maki upwards until their foreheads were touching.
Maki enjoyed the small opportunity to press another kiss to Euijoo’s lips — touch so right that it felt as if they’ve done it a million times before. Euijoo wished they did.
“Good night.”
“Nighty night, hyung.”
Euijoo let his eyes close and his muscles relax. Sleep enveloped him metaphorically, while Maki took it upon himself to truly make it so, possessively embracing Euijoo's waist. Nonsense of him. Euijoo wasn't going anywhere.