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“He stays here. He’s staying with me.”
The door creaks as it opens, slowly, so slowly.
“Ian? Ian, can I come in? Please?”
A ruffle of sheets, but yet, no response.
Mickey sighs, and slowly closes the door behind him. For a moment, he takes in Ian’s appearance. Ian, his Ian, the stupidly beautiful redhead who makes him smile and laugh the way he’s never in his entire fucking life. Ian, who he risked everything for, and if he asked he’d do it all again. In a heartbeat, no hesitation.
He’d do anything for Ian. Anything at all, including taking care of him, and fixing this.
A shaky intake of breath.
“Ian. I’m- uh, I’m sorry for shouting earlier, man.”, Mickey breathes out, fuck, “Um, look- tell me what’s up? Please?”
Nothing.
“Okay. Is it me?”
Immediately, Mickey feels fucking stupid, and vulnerable, and ridiculous. Truthfully, though, it’s the only conclusion he could come to. Plus, if it is him, he can fix that pretty easily, right?
“It’s fine if it is. Look, Ian, you don’t uh- owe me anything, or whatever. Like, we don’t have to be together, or whatever, you don’t have to stay here.”
It’s the biggest fucking lie he’s ever told in his whole pathetic life. Well, it’s true that Ian doesn’t owe him anything but, like, he did come out for Ian, so. He’d really like Ian to stay. But, it’s cool. (It’s not.)
“No.”, Ian whispered, so quiet.
“What? No? Ian, what do you mean no?”
A huff. “No.”
“Ian, what do you mean no? Do you mean, like, no you don’t want to stay or-“
“No. I-“, a deep inhale, “no, it isn’t- you.”
Shit. Thank fuck.
“Oh, right. Cool, um- can, can I come in?”
Ian, slowly, rolled over so he was facing the door, and Mickey. There he laid, emotionless.
“I’m going to take that as a yes, okay?”
Mickey gently began to shuffle his way onto and into his- their bed.
“Hey.” Mickey smiled, hoping it was reassuring.
Face to face, now, so close he could feel Ian’s soft breath on his cheek, Mickey just- watched. Then, suddenly, Ian pulled Mickey’s hand so it was resting on his hip. And, then, his eyes slipped closed, and Ian fell asleep.
“Okay,” Mickey said, quietly, “um, look, man, I-“
Mickey made a decision. He was going to be honest, tonight. If he really thought about it, this might be his only chance to say it. If Fiona and the Gallaghers had their way, he might not have very long with Ian at all. And, plus, he was too much of a pussy to say it to Ian when he was awake, anyway.
He began to gently stroke his thumb up and down Ian’s thigh, “Ian. I- I, fuck, I love you.”
“Okay, I really fucking love you. And, it’s terrifying, man, because I think maybe- I love you so much I don’t know what to do with it all, you know?”
He said it.
The world didn’t end when Mickey Milkovich told Ian Gallagher he loved him.
He really is fucked for life.