Chapter Text
Zoya got ready for the day, tying a dark blue ribbon in her hair.
Her first blue ribbon had been a gift from Liliyana, a reminder that she’d always be with her, even if Zoya was away, studying at the Little Palace. It comforted her in the days she just wished to go to her aunt. But now? She wore it as a silent protest to the Darkling, a sign that she wouldn’t be weak, that he would not take anything from her ever again.
Zoya didn’t talk about her family, not much. She didn’t mention it in casual conversations with friends, didn’t talk about them in the motivational speeches she was forced to give to the children and, as a child, she had never participated in the parent’s day at the little palace.
It was not like she hadn’t had a family. She’d had one, for a while, Lilyana, her mother and father when she was a baby. Now the only one left was Lada, if she was still out there and had managed to survive Novokribirsk’s massacre.
As she left the Little Palace, snow crunched beneath her feet, making her remember the day she had gotten her first amplifiers, the ones destroyed by Juris. The grief for them was still there, but Zoya had a better thing now, she had Juris, a friend that wouldn’t die like her friends would, one less death she’d have to feel guilty for. She was glad he had made her notice the extent of her power, the making at the heart of the world, she was glad to have his knowledge, his voice, his dragon. Zoya was also glad that Nikolai was already waiting for her at the Grand Palace’s door.
“Good morning, my general.” Nikolai said, placing a kiss to her hand.
Zoya removed her hand from his kiss immediately, he had called off the engagement with princess Ehri, but that didn’t mean that they could do whatever they pleased. They were king and general, not Nikolai and Zoya.
“Good morning, your majesty.”
Zoya entered the palace, immediately regretting her choice when a flash of memories from last week came crashing down at her. She halted. Remembering Genya’s lost eyes, David’s crushed chest, the notebook. Zoya didn’t want to be responsible for the death of more people, the list was too long, but she wouldn’t let herself forget their names, Lilyana, Harshaw, Marie, David, Fedyor, Isaak, them and more people were in her mind and in her garden every single day, every ghost, every spirit, every soul lost to the madness of this world.
“Zoya, are you alright?” Nikolai looked at her, his eyebrows furrowed.
“Yes, I’m fine.” Right, she had to focus on not killing any more people and protecting Ravka. “Any news on Fjerdan attacks?”
“No, thank the saints.”
Nikolai took some envelopes from his pocket “But it seems you have gained quite some popularity. Two letters: one for General Nazyalensky, with a poem in the front.”
“Is the poem any good?”
“It seems you have gained a taste for poetry dear Zoya, perhaps I should call Tolya to make you have a more romantic view of life” Nikolai read the poem again and handed her the envelope. “It’s certainly better than Tolya’s sonnets about sea voyages”
Zoya was beginning to read when Nikolai read the name of person the second letter was addressed to.
“And this one says it’s for Zoya…Gharin?”
Zoya yanked the letter from Nikolai’s hand and, in the blink of an eye, she was reading it. The letter came with a quite detailed drawing from the little palace, it was drawn in pencil, some lines crooked, some drawn darker than others. Zoya recognized this drawing, it was Lada’s drawing, her cousin, she had seen her just once, but she had been important to Liliyana. She even thought about Lada sometimes, hoping she somehow had made it out alive of Novokribirsk and apparently, she had.
The letter read:
Dear Zoya, possibly General of Ravka?
I know we only saw each other once, when I lived with Lilyana. Even though you probably don’t know me and are probably wondering why a random girl sent you a letter when you have more work to attend to, if you have the time, please read this. I’m Lada, the little girl you saw at your aunt’s shop before Novokribirsk’s attack.
You may not know anything about me, but I know a lot about you: You like chickens, you’re a squaller, your mom is..well…an interesting creature. I was able to run away during the event, but I’m sorry to confirm this to you but Lilyana really is gone.
I’m fine and living in the center of Balakirev, painting landscapes and trying to make a living out of that.
I want to make this letter short, I just wanted to tell you I saw some drüskelle surrounding Balakirev, considering to events of the other day, I believe this information would be useful.
Please write back if you can.
Thank you,
Lada
Zoya was glad to know Lada was alive,she should visit her sometime soon, maybe after tomorrow? If she knew anything about the drüskelle circling Balakirev it would be useful information.But was it just that? Was that the only reason she wanted to see Lada? She had only seen the girl once, but she had been in her mind ever since that day in the corner shop, she couldn't be more than seventeen, yet she was already living alone with no one to turn to, just like Zoya at that age.
Nikolai was looking at her, probably noticing her glassy eyes, Zoya wouldn’t cry again, not in front of him, she’d shared too many vulnerabilities with her king already.
“If love letters make you emotional, I should try that sometime soon” Nikolai said, an annoying grin plastered on his face
“Not a love letter.”
Zoya reached the other envelope, finally reading the poem on his front.
Well, not an actual poem, but two verses:
“Foxes go to ground in the winter, But they don’t fear the cold.”
Nina.
Zoya opened the letter an read it.
“Nikolai, we have to go.”