Chapter Text
“You aren’t having Rika do it?” Yuji looked down at his hands as he spoke. In his right hand he held a wooden spoon Ieiri had given him a few moments ago. His left hand was held gently by the second year student, Okkotsu Yuta.
“I’d rather be able to use Shrine without being restricted to a five minute window. You know, just in case.” Yuta smiled lightly, as if he weren’t about to eat his junior’s flesh.
From his peripheral vision Yuji could see Gojo and Ieiri, who stood against the wall near the door to the clinic. They looked at each other, expressions unreadable. Yuji shifted uncomfortably on the cold exam table he was seated on.
“Are you ready?” Yuta looked up at him expectantly. Perhaps a little too expectantly. Or maybe Yuji was just looking for reasons to feel uneasy.
“As I’ll ever be.”
Yuji put the wooden spoon in his mouth as his ring finger was placed in Yuta’s.
Yuta gave a casual hum of confirmation, like this was any other normal daily activity, then clamped his jaws down, rending flesh from bone. White hot pain seared through Yuji’s hand. He let out a strangled groan, biting down on the wooden spoon so hard it began to splinter, and then it was over. Yuta’s cursed energy flowed through his hand, knitting the wound closed without regrowing the finger.
“That should do it,” Yuta said, his voice sounding far away to Yuji’s ringing ears. His teeth were coated with bright crimson, he flicked his tongue out to lap up a trickle of blood that had escaped his lips. For a brief moment, he looked utterly bestial.
Ieiri took the now-destroyed wooden spoon from Yuji and handed Yuta a towel. “Just throw it in a biohazard bag when you’re done,” She mumbled, gaze avoiding the both of them. Yuta nodded gratefully.
Yuji, however, couldn’t stop staring at him. Something had changed behind those Stygian eyes, twin voids that consumed any light brazen enough to touch them. It felt otherworldly. Whatever it was, it made him shudder involuntarily.
“Well!” Gojo clapped, jolting Yuji from his reverie. “That was fun but let’s all get a move on! You two have training to do this afternoon, in case you forgot!”
Having five fingers on one hand but only three on the other was an odd sensation. His brain kept expecting to feel the missing finger touch something, but of course, it never did. Yuji looked at the empty spaces where his left pinky and ring finger once were as he opened and closed his fist.
“Shall we?” Yuta said, rising to his feet with a smile that seemed polite at first glance, but became ever-so-slightly more offputting the longer you looked. He seemed almost giddy, bordering on manic. Certainly happier than Yuji had ever seen him before. Granted, they hadn’t known each other that long, but it was still quite different from the gloomy demeanor that was standard of him.
“See you two at the dojo later!” Gojo slapped them both on the back as they left behind the fluorescent lights and iodine-scented air of the clinic.
Yuji had been following Yuta down the hallway for only a few moments when he realized he’d forgotten his jacket. He excused himself and walked briskly back the way he’d come. When he approached the clinic door however, he could hear muffled voices.
“Was this really a good idea?”
“You’re doubting me? How could you?”
“Be serious, Satoru.”
“…”
“Fine. Of course it’s not a good idea. But it might come in handy someday.”
“I just don’t think that it was worth the risk.”
“It might save the kid’s life.”
“Or make his life a whole lot worse.”
Yuji’s grandfather always told him not to eavesdrop, and with a twinge of guilt for having overheard what was clearly a private conversation, he decided to make himself known. “Hey it’s just me again, forgot my jacket.” He said with a sheepish laugh, reentering the clinic.
“Long time, no see!” Gojo’s tone was friendly, but Yuji’s stomach twisted anxiously when he felt those icy blue eyes following him closely as he crossed the room.
That afternoon, the dojo was chilly, reflecting the December weather beyond its walls. It wasn’t terribly late, but the sun was already beginning to set, painting the room in a nostalgic orange glow. Dust in the air reflected the light which gave everything an almost ethereal quality. Yuji shivered a bit as he took off his jacket. He really hoped this sparring session would warm him up a little.
Despite being late himself, Yuta seemed to not be at the dojo yet, which Yuji found strange. In the short amount of time he’d known him, he was generally cordial. He felt a twinge of anxiety, a lump forming in his throat and his hands clenching into fists. Feeling the absence of two of his fingers did not help. What if Yuta had gotten sick after copying Shrine? It is Sukuna’s technique after all.
“Sorry I’m late!” Yuta’s voice called out from the door. Yuji’s heart skipped a beat, much to his chagrin. The jitters he’d been feeling around Yuta lately were rather uncharacteristic of him. He found it concerning.
Yuta smiled at him warmly, melting Yuji’s anxiety away. He felt stupid for feeling nervous to begin with. Yuta seemed to not notice that anything was amiss, fortunately.
“Itadori-kun, are you ready to start?” Yuta took up position on the opposite end of the dojo and squared his shoulders, placing a hand on the hilt of his bokken.
“You can call me Yuji, you know. I think you eating my finger puts us on a first-name basis.” Yuji chuckled, breath coming out as a puff in the chilly air. He did not have a training weapon, instead opting to use just his fists.
Yuta smiled in return. “Alright, Yuji, shall we begin?”
“Sounds good!” Yuji replied, wholly unprepared for how hearing Yuta say his name made him feel a bit flustered. He had a certain something about him that drew Yuji in like a whirlpool. He was enigmatic. Friendly, but with a mysterious and uncanny quality to him that Yuji couldn’t quite put a finger on. Bathed in the light of the setting sun, he looked like some kind of specter.
Yuta’s muscles tensed for a split second, then he lunged at Yuji with terrifying speed. He barely had time to react before he was blocking blow after blow from the bokken. Yuji jumped backwards, narrowly dodging a swipe, then sprang towards Yuta as he lifted his weapon for another blow.
The bokken passed within a hair’s breadth from Yuji’s ear. He pivoted, twisting with the momentum, and drove a punch into Yuta’s ribs. It connected, but Yuta hardly reacted. He whirled around, slashing the bokken in a wide arc that Yuji ducked beneath, aiming another blow at Yuta’s abdomen.
This one did something. Yuta grunted and doubled over, surprise flashing across his face. Yuji raised his leg in preparation to let loose a final kick to send him flying, when suddenly Yuta vaulted forwards. He grabbed Yuji’s arm with one hand and knocked him off balance with a nimble foot sweep to his ankle.
Yuji toppled to the floor, landing hard enough to knock the wind out of him. Yuta quickly pounced on top of him, bringing the bokken to his throat. Yuji squirmed beneath him, but with his arms pinned to his sides by Yuta’s legs and his full weight bearing down on him, he was effectively immobilized.
“And now you’re dead.” Yuta rasped, expression blank. He slowly began to lean forward. Yuji’s heart shot into his throat as the anxiety returned. He suddenly felt like the room was a lot warmer.
Yuta was an excellent swordsman, but his swordsmanship wasn’t what frightened Yuji. Rather, there was something incredibly offputting about his presence. Merely being in the same vicinity as him gave the air an oppressive weight. He had leaned so far forward that now their faces were just inches away, Yuji searched his eyes and found nothing at all.
“Ergh- good one, Senpai,” Yuji croaked, “I’ll get you next time though!”
“It’s Yuta.”
“Huh?”
“You can just call me Yuta.”
Yuji’s face felt hot. Yuta leaned in further still, lips parted. Before he knew what he was doing, Yuji angled his head and-
“Woah what’s going on in here? Hope I’m not interrupting something!" Gojo’s unmistakable laughter rang out through the dojo.
Yuta jerked backwards, looking absolutely mortified as he made eye contact with Gojo. He quickly scrambled to his feet and bowed. “I was trying to show Yuj- I mean Itadori-kun a throw and I tripped and fell,” Yuta explained sheepishly, face reddening. “I-I’m going to go take a shower before dinner. See you then, Itadori-kun!”
Gojo and Yuji both watched Yuta awkwardly speedwalk out of the dojo. Yuji was still lying on the floor completely gobsmacked. “Sooo…” Gojo shifted his attention to him.
“Hi Sensei,” Yuji muttered.
After a long day of events Ieiri would’ve described as ‘standard for jujutsu society’, Yuji lay sleepless in his bed, staring blankly at the spot of water damage on his ceiling. His thoughts kept running in loops that seemed to revolve around Yuta. His warm smile juxtaposed with his cold eyes.
He was unable to stop feeling Yuta’s weight pinning him to the dojo floor, unable to stop feeling the contour of his teeth on his ring finger as they-
“What’s wrong with me?” Yuji said out loud, into the empty silence of his room. Perhaps a midnight snack would help calm his racing thoughts.
He got out of bed and slid on a pair of slippers by the door. Turning on his phone’s flashlight, he exited his dorm room and made his way down the hall to the vending machines. No sound could be heard other than his own muffled footsteps. Despite the windows in the hallway having no blinds, the hallway was still rather unusually dark. It was a cloudy night where the moon hardly had a chance to peek through. Yuji’s phone flashlight only illuminated a thin column which he swept back and forth across the hallway, making sure there was nothing on the floor for him to trip over.
He rounded a corner and could finally see the illumination coming from vending machines, much to his relief. The school sure was creepy at night when nobody else was awake.
He put his money into the machine and pressed the button for a bag of chips. As the vending machine was, well, vending, Yuji suddenly felt the distinct feeling that he was being watched from somewhere in the darkness. He shone his flashlight around, but being just a cellphone flashlight, the light didn’t cover much distance. The far end of the hallway remained cloaked in shadow despite his best efforts. He really wished the vending machine would hurry up.
The bag of chips dropped down at long last with a thunk, and then silence enveloped the hallway once again. It was in this brief moment of silence that Yuji heard it; the faintest sound of the floorboards creaking all the way down at the end of the hall. He froze for a moment like a deer in headlights. This was ridiculous. It was an old building, it was bound to make settling noises every now and then. Yuji had faced cursed spirits ten times his size, a creak in a dark hallway was nothing he couldn’t handle. Regardless, he quickly snatched up the chips and walked back to his room, though this time he walked a bit faster.
If his flashlight had been able to illuminate the end of the hallway, however, he would've seen the tall, spindly, figure that had been peering at him from around the corner.
It was nearly December 24th, the date that had been decided on for Gojo to finally fight Sukuna. Yuji had a bottomless well of faith in his teacher, but he also knew how ruthless Sukuna could be.
He had tried sleeping, he really had. But every time he closed his eyes, he couldn’t help but imagine the aftermath. Gojo dead, buildings destroyed, Sukuna standing untouched among the wreckage, drenched in blood that was not his own. So instead, he found himself on one of the sofas in the common room, looking out the large window into the courtyard of the school. Snowflakes danced around past a bright, freezing moon. He figured this was a better alternative to stewing alone in his room.
The silence was broken by the common room door opening behind him. Yuji’s attention immediately snapped towards it, wired as he was. Yuta stood there, framed by the dim hallway light, looking just as surprised to see him. “Oh, hey. Mind if I join you?”
“I don’t mind at all,” Yuji replied, a little too quickly. This was the first time he’d even seen Yuta since the…incident in the dojo and he still felt slightly awkward about the whole ordeal.
All that awkwardness melted away however when Yuta sat down next to him on the sofa. They both stared out at the snow in comfortable silence for a while. They were just close enough that Yuji could smell him, some dark mixture of funerary incense and pine, like a graveyard surrounded by mountain hemlock trees. He wondered if he burned a lot of incense or if he just naturally smelled like that.
Yuji found he didn’t mind the silence as much as he normally did. Usually, silence gave his thoughts the opportunity to go places he didn’t want them to. Having another person nearby seemed to make the silence tolerable. In a way, Yuta’s presence was like an anchor.
The snow continued to fall slowly outside the window, coating the courtyard in a thin blanket of white.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Yuta asked eventually.
Yuji glanced over at him. “That obvious, huh?”
“A little.”
“Yeah I just… You know how it is, being alone with your thoughts.” Yuji let out a small laugh.
Yuta smiled knowingly, returning his gaze to the window. “You always seemed like the type to shoulder everyone’s burdens, not just your own. You don’t have to do that.”
Yuji, caught off guard by the comment, opened his mouth to argue, then closed it again, looking away. Yuta wasn’t exactly wrong. “It’s just what I do. I think people expect me to do more because I was able to contain Sukuna. At least, for a little while.” His words felt bitter on his tongue.
When he looked back, Yuta’s expression was soft. It wasn’t pity, something which Yuji hated. Pity made him feel worse. Instead, Yuta looked thoughtful. “I don’t think it’s because they expect you to do more,” Yuta began.
“You don’t?” Yuji cocked an eyebrow.
“No.” Yuta lowered his voice. “I think it’s because they trust your strength.”
Yuji averted his eyes once again. His chest ached.
“Sensei always acts like everything is going to be fine,” He said, still not looking at Yuta. “I trust him, he is the strongest after all, but Sukuna is…I’ve seen what he’s capable of. I think that Gojo-sensei might be underestimating him, I guess.”
“He probably is.”
“Yeah, well…” Yuji frowned. “That’s the part I’m most worried about.”
Yuta angled his body towards him slightly more.
Yuji picked at the edge of his sleeve, seemingly laser-focused on the tiny frayed threads. “If Sensei makes just one mistake then…” he trailed off, he didn’t need to finish the sentence. They sat in silence again, though this time it was more fraught with anxiety.
“I’m worried too.” Yuta admitted.
“You are?”
“How could I not be?”
“I don’t know, you just seem so calm all the time. Like you’ve really got your shit together, y'know?” Yuji said with a humorless chuckle.
Yuta hummed quietly. “Well, I don’t. I’m only human too.”
To Yuji, it never really felt that way though. To Yuji, Yuta was a wraith, something he couldn’t even touch, despite how desperately he wanted to. But in that moment, looking at him, Yuta looked a lot younger than usual. He didn’t look like the entity that haunted Yuji through the ruins of Shibuya to carry out his execution. He looked like a scared seventeen year old, mere months away from adulthood, yet nowhere near prepared for the struggles that came with it. Yuji suddenly felt a lot less alone.
“When this is over,” Yuta said, “let’s do something normal.”
“Normal?”
“Yeah um, maybe we could see a movie or something…and not have to kill anything.” Yuta chuckled.
Yuji smiled gently at him, flush creeping up his cheeks. “Yeah, I’d like that.” He said quietly. “Hey, maybe you’d even like Human Earthworm!”
“Human Earthworm?!” Yuta’s laughter was like music.
“You haven’t seen it?”
“No, I haven’t, but I’d like to.” Yuta’s expression softened. Yuji’s pulse quickened as he felt Yuta subtly shift himself closer until their thighs were touching. “Preferably with you.” He whispered. Yuji could see his own reflection in those black eyes.
Yuji noticed Yuta’s hand slowly beginning to move. He had plenty of time to move away, but the selfish part of him refused. “You know,” Yuta said softly, taking Yuji’s left hand into his right, “when this is all over, we’ll have a laugh about how silly we were being.” He glanced up at Yuji and offered a small smile.
Yuji barely had a moment to realize what was happening as Yuta began to lean even closer, looking ghostly in the moonlight. Before Yuji could decide whether or not this was a good idea, Yuta closed the distance between them, kissing him gently. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He felt so warm and safe as Yuta wrapped an arm around his waist to draw him in closer, anxiety from just a few minutes ago gone within the blink of an eye.
Yuta slowly pushed him backwards into the sofa until he was laying on his back. He broke away and for a moment Yuji was disappointed, but then he moved to his neck, kissing and biting gently along his carotid. Yuji shivered, he felt vulnerable every time Yuta’s teeth pressed down lightly. Then suddenly, nothing. Yuta had stopped his progress and was now breathing heavily into Yuji’s neck.
“Is…everything alright…?” Yuji whispered, but Yuta didn’t respond. Instead, he lifted himself up to stare into Yuji’s eyes with the gaze of a leopard, moments before snapping the neck of an unfortunate deer. His pupils were blown so wide only black could be seen. His labored breathing was more akin to panting, Yuji could catch a glimpse of his teeth flashing white in the moonlight. Were they always so sharp…?
For a heartbeat, Yuji forgot how to breathe, the look Yuta was giving him now was much different from the one he had given him in the dojo a few days ago. This look was much darker and less gentle than what was typical of Yuta. It was like a switch had flipped.
“I’ve known since the moment we met,” Yuta said, voice wobbling slightly, “you would be mine.”
“Ieiri-san, please hurry.” Reverse cursed technique was keeping blood flowing to his brain, but Yuta was reaching his limit. “I’m not sure how much longer I can hold on.”
His vision blurred as he looked down at what remained of his body. He could see his intestines soaking in a slurry of his own blood and chunks of various other destroyed organs on the operating table. His lower half torn asunder at the waist, courtesy of Sukuna. Adrenaline and cursed energy made the pain feel far away, but he was beginning to feel cold. He coughed as blood slowly pooled in his lungs. He could just barely make out the form of Amai Rin at the other end of the table, who was probably never going to be the same after this.
“Alright, I’ve just finished suturing him,” Ieiri turned away from Gojo’s corpse to look at Yuta, “he took a lot of damage so the second you get in there you’re going to need to pump reverse cursed technique at maximum output, got it?” She strode over to Yuta’s table, bone saw in hand. “This’ll probably hurt.”
Yuta tried to respond, but all that came but was a gurgle.
Approximately three weeks later, he awoke in a bed at the clinic, countless tubes and wires connected to his body at various locations. His head was pounding in tandem with his heartbeat.
He was absolutely famished.