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Toy wasn’t totally clear on the science of why he had a son even though he’d died when he’d been a kid, but he did. Something to do with archival DNA and a sock he’d used to jerk off into once and an evil biotech company that capitalized on the suffering of people who’d undergone major tragedies. Or something.
Anyway, it didn’t really matter. Toy’s parents were dead now (they weren’t ghosts like him because they hadn’t been cool) and Toy was in a happy relationship with a whole library of books (not the library itself though, she was a jerk), and his son was an adult man dead asleep in his bed with a rock hard boner that Toy was riding (but not really because he was a ghost).
He was sitting there on it, though, using ghost telekinesis to make it stand up as he rode it. Pushkin wasn’t reacting much, which was a bit rude of him. He was asleep, but like, if Toy slept and someone were fucking him while he was sleeping, he’d probably at least make sex noises or something.
Also he couldn’t actually feel anything, and Toy didn’t really know what sex was supposed to feel like because his family had been weirdos who’d thought that him having sex was weird because Endymion didn’t like it (which he didn’t because he was a pervert). But he was pretty sure it was supposed to be better than this, and the books always seemed pretty happy about it when they had sex in the library.
Toy sighed, floating off Pushkin’s dick for a minute. He’d started trying to fuck him a few weeks ago because he’d heard from a book that it might lay his soul to rest. Toy didn’t really need to lay his soul to rest, but he did need to get into Lif’s library, and fucking his son was one of the best ways to get in their good graces, so he was trying to lay it to nap, at least.
Hm. There had to be some kind of weird ghost magic that he could use to fix this problem. Weird ghost magic fixed most problems.
Toy floated backwards while he thought about what he had for weird ghost magic. There was the ghost telekinesis, which hadn’t helped. There was also ghost haemogenesis, but he didn’t think that making blood come out of the walls was going to work. Ghost apparitions weren’t very useful on people who were sleeping. Ghost electrointerference might work, but Pushkin didn’t answer calls from unknown numbers. All his other ghost powers had to do with books, which weren’t super useful here unless Pushkin had incest magazines under his bed. Maybe he did.
Toy checked. He didn’t. Damn.
Okay, he’d have go to back to the library and see if he could read more about ghosts and learn what powers he had, and…
The toilet down the hall flushed. Toy blinked. Oh yeah, he had a grandson. Hm.
Toy floated out of the bedroom and into the hall, and saw Pushkin’s son Fido. He was a panda like his dad and grandpa, but he was the red kind, and was holding his giant poofy tail (which Toy was not jealous of) and rubbing his cheek against it while he shambled back to his bedroom. He was dangling a stuffed caterpillar in his other hand and looked mostly asleep.
Hm.
Toy floated closer to him and touched his forehead. “Does your dad ever fuck you?”
Unfortunately, Toy didn’t have ghost mind reading to get the answer, so nothing happened except for a rapid swirling of the world and the sensation of being sucked up a drain and being put in a jar that didn’t quite fit. “Huh?” he said, out loud.
“What?” Toy asked, looking at his hands, which required him to drop his red tail. Oh. Those were Fido’s hands. Oh! Those were Fido’s hands!
Ghost possession! Toy had forgotten about that one! He’d never done it before because it seemed stupid and also all the ghost books said it had potential side effects, but it was just what the doctor ordered. But like, not a normal doctor. A sleep doctor or a sex doctor, which were the same kind of doctor. Toy grinned, Fido’s unfamiliar muzzle moving as he did. This was awesome. Possession was like sex, it was much easier to do to someone who was asleep.
Fuck yeah. Toy floated into the—oh, he’d fallen down. Right, alive boys had to move their legs. He moved his legs and walked into the—door, alive people had to open doors. He opened the door and went in the room, then climbed—banged, alive people couldn’t see in the dark, he banged the bed, ow.
Pain was weird, wow. Kind of cool, but weird. Bodies were weird. Toy was glad he didn’t have one actually.
Anyway, he climbed back up onto Pushkin’s bed, and then it was time to go. He stradded his son, and sat down on his—pants, why was Fido wearing pants to bed? He got off Pushkin and pulled down his purple pajama pants, falling over as he tried to take them off. His tail got stuck because he forgot to undo the snap in the back.
Then he took of Fido’s underwear, and why was this pervert wearing underwear to bed? What a lunatic. Oh, they were the backless kind because of his giant tail, right. He could have kept those on, but whatever. He left his shirt and sleeping hat on, dropped the caterpillar, and climbed back up onto the bed.
Pushkin’s dick was still throbbing, so Toy used a bit of ghost telekinesis to stand it back up, then angled his ass over it, and sat down.
“Ow!” he said, because what he fuck, sex hurt? Was Pushkin doing it wrong? That was crazy. Ow. Poor Fido was going to be sore in the morning. But he’d live, so Toy just started moving. He’d dated a lot of erotica so he knew he just had to start bouncing up and down and then it would be awesome.
What the heckers?
Toy blinked at the voice in his head. Who the fuck was that? There was nobody else in the room. Whatever, he kept going.
Hey! Hey, stop, what are you doing?
Toy found it hard to move, like someone was holding him back. Was there another ghost…oh, it was Fido. He’d woken up. Toy made a face and focused more of his ghost magic on continuing to fuck Pushkin. Hi, he said, using ghost telepathy. Don’t worry, I’m just borrowing your body for a bit because I need to fuck your dad for something important. You can have it back when I’m done.
Wh-! You can’t do that! Fido cried in his head, trying to make Toy stop. I’m not old enough to do sex!
Toy had no idea how old Fido was, but he was probably old enough for sex. Kids were hardly ever virgins. It’s fine, he promised. Besides, it’s not really incest because I’m fucking him and he’s not my dad. Wow, this was taking a long time, Toy thought. Pushkin was super bad at sex.
Stop, pouted Fido. Dad says I’m not supposed to know about this until I’m older!
Toy rolled Fido’s eyes. You wouldn’t know about it if you’d go back to sleep. He started jerking Fido off, because an orgasm might make him be quiet for a bit.
I want you to get off! Fido said, moving Toy’s hips up.
I also want me to get off! Toy agreed, moving Fido’s hips down. He was getting really tired of this. And also tired in general. Ghost possession was a lot of work.
Fido kept arguing with him and Toy had to use all his energy to argue back, and he started to lose control of the possession after a few minutes. He could feel it slipping, and he was just starting to wonder if maybe it would be better to move and possess Pushkin instead when suddenly Pushkin finally made a sex noise and started to cum inside them.
Ew! Fido complained. It’s going up my butt!
Fuck yeah it is, Toy agreed with a grin, taking it all in. In his mind’s eye, which until recently had been his main eye, a leaf-lined door was appearing in front of Pushkin’s TV. Awesome. Okay thanks for the ride, Fido. I’ll let you go now. Have a good night! He ended the ghost possession—no he didn’t, Toy didn’t know how to end the ghost possession. Shit. Uh. He made Fido get up, and that detached him, okay, good. He floated out of Fido’s body, and his grandson stood there, disoriented a bit. Toy was also disoriented a bit, but he floated towards the door. The books he needed were calling to him.
“No you don’t!” Fido tackled him even though that shouldn’t be possible because Toy was a ghost and they crashed into the floor and got squished. Toy felt his breath get pressed right out of him, which was crazy since he didn’t have breath, and heard Pushkin start to stir. “Crudmuffins,” Fido said, scrambling to gather up his stuff. Toy agreed, and moved towards the—no he didn’t.
Hey! Toy said, but not out loud because he had no mouth and could only use ghost telepathy now. Hey, what are you doing?
What Fido was doing was carrying him out of the room and down the hall at lightning speed, and into another bedroom, where he shut the door and dove into a bed bedecked with cartoon robots. Let me go! Toy complained, fighting to free himself. But he was so tired. Had the ghost possession used that much of his power? I need to go to Lif’s library!
A purple reading light came on, and Toy saw Fido, looking down at him. “Woah…are you in Mr. Lego Legs? Why?”
Who the fuck! Toy tried to move, but couldn’t. His insides felt all fluffy. He felt like he had insides. And a lot of legs. And.
And he was a stuffed caterpillar. Fuck. I guess I used most of my ghost powers possessing you, Toy said, embarrassed. This was humiliating. I’m stuck in your toy. Can you take me back to your dad’s room and put me in front of his TV? There’s an important ghost portal in there that I need to go through so I can go to a divine library and rescue some books from it. One of my boyfriends wants to meet his idol and I promised he could and…
“Nope,” Fido said, pressing Toy into the bed. He was grinning wickedly now. Oh no. He seemed mean. “You were mean to me so I don’t have to be nice to you.”
I’m sorry! Toy lied, feeling frantic. Having a body had been weird enough, having a fabric body was really fucking weird. I won’t do it again, promise. I’ll never even bother you again! I just need…
“Daddy says I don’t need to forgive bullies just because they apologized to me when something bad happened,” Fido lectured. “He says they’re only doing that to avoid consemaquences. But you’re going to have consemaquences, ghost. What’s your name?”
Toy. I mean! That was bad and he shouldn’t have said it. Dostoyevsky Iversen!
“Toy,” giggled Fido. “Okay. Toy, let’s see how you like it.”
Like what? Oh…
Fido had started humping him. Maybe Toy should have let him cum earlier. He’d forgotten to, which hadn’t been his fault. “You can do sex with me like you made me do with my dad, since you like sex so much.”
Toy did like sex so much but not like this! He didn’t have any parts, even astrally, to enjoy it with! This isn’t fair! Let me go and I won’t tell your father that you’re molesting your toys.
Fido giggled again. “He wouldn’t be mad. That’s what toys are for. Doing all the stuff that you’re not big enough to do with people yet. That’s what the Twins say.”
What? The who? Toy was…this felt so funny and weird and Toy was so tired and the sun was about to come up and weird ghost magic got weaker in the day.
Okay. Okay, Toy thought. He’d just. He’d just lay here and let this happen for now. And then tomorrow night he’d escape. That was all he’d do. It wasn’t like he was trapped here, and he did technically owe Fido for borrowing his body. It was no big deal.
As Fido energetically humped away at him, Toy tried really hard not to wonder how it was that Fido had managed to tackle him and trap him in this thing in the first place. That had probably just been a fluke. It probably didn’t mean anything.
It wasn’t like he was going to be stuck as his grandson’s stuffed caterpillar hump toy forever.