Chapter Text
EXTRA CREDIT.
#1: Office Hours
📓‧₊˚ ⋅✧✏️๋࣭ ⭑
Jay’s social life is so boring that even a cockroach probably has more fun than he does.
He follows a mundane routine everyday: he wakes up early in the mornings for a quick workout, heads back home and showers before grabbing a quick breakfast on the way to the university he teaches. After a long day he drives the forty minutes back to his bachelor pad, cracking open a beer or anything else he can find in his fridge and doomscrolls all night until he passes out.
The last exciting (re: not really) thing to happen to him was when his ex-fiancée walked out on him about a year ago, ending their engagement because she didn’t want to settle down with a ‘broke ass man’. Her words.
One would think teaching statistics as a professor at a bustling university would bring some excitement, being surrounded by students from all walks of life. And while sometimes true, Jay is usually never around for the antics that mostly occur during evening hours, by then he’s in the comfort of his home wasting away on his couch. Even the students he teaches are all pretty calm, no problems to complain about.
And now on the first day of classes of the new school year, Jay once again expects his day to play out the same as always.
“…And lastly, Jeung Yoonchae,” he finishes the roll call, marking the last name off his list. Full attendance today, as expected for the first day. Jay wonders how long it will last.
He pushes his reading glasses up the bridge of his nose, facing his desk as he puts away the attendance sheet. He then turns to the whiteboard, picking up a black dry erase marker and writing the words PROFESSOR PARK, big and bold. “Good morning, everyone. I am Park Jongseong and it is my pleasure to serve as your statistics professor this semester.” He underlines his name, finishing with a signature squiggle at the end before turning back to the class. “In this class we will—” Jay pauses, noticing a student with their hand already raised before he’s done with introductions. “I will open the floor soon to whoever may have questions, but for now please save your inquiries until after I am done.”
“You didn’t call my name during the attendance.” The same student disregards his words, saying his inquiry anyway. The boy sat in the far right corner of the lecture hall, all the way in the last row. He peaks his head out from behind a student in front of him, and the first thing Jay notices about him are his eyes.
They’re big and brown, with a hint of tiredness behind his feline eyes. He’s slouched forward in his seat, hoodie over his head that doesn’t quite fully hide the wired headphones plugged in his ears. In front of him there’s no laptop or even a notebook prepared to take notes in, only a single black backpack that’s so flat that Jay doubts there’s anything but air inside it.
Another typical slacker student it seems. On the first day, no less. “…What is your name?”
“Yang Jungwon.”
Without breaking eye contact Jay rummages through the papers on his desk until he finds the attendance sheet. Bringing it up to his face he scans through the list of names twice, but can’t find the name ‘Yang Jungwon’ anywhere. “It appears you aren’t on my list. Double check your class schedule, it could be that you walked into the wrong class.”
“I’m a senior, I think I would’ve realized if I walked into the wrong class,” he answers with slight irritation, as if Jay's the one inconveniencing him. “I switched into your class last minute, if that information is useful to you?”
“Quite, actually. It would’ve saved us some time if you led with that.” If he claims that he’s indeed in the right class, it’ll be a while until his name is added to the official roster. “Thank you for letting me know,” Jay pencils in Jungwon’s name at the bottom of the list as a reminder for himself. He slides the sheet under his lesson folder before clasping his hands together, more than ready to continue his lecture. “With that out of the way—I am Professor Park, and welcome to Fundamentals of Statistics.”
✧˚📝 ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ
“So, let me get this straight,” Sunghoon begins as he pours both Jay and Jake another round of shots, “A student in your beginner Stats class interrupted your introduction to tell you he was missing from the attendance, just for him to have his headphones in the whole time and not even pay attention? Do I have that right?”
Jay clinks his shot glass with the others and downs it all in one gulp. His throat burns from the peach flavor, not his favorite, but strong enough to ease his mind from the stressful first day of classes. As per tradition, he and a couple of his coworkers go out to the bar to celebrate the new semester. “That’s exactly right.”
“So what? You think he’s gonna be a pain in your ass because of his behavior after just one class?”
“Okay, when you word it like that it makes me out to be some judgy asshole.” Jay doesn’t think the Jungwon guy is some total brat, but he’s definitely someone he should look out for. After many years of teaching Jay knows all the telltale signs of a lazy student: never taking notes, always on their phone and not paying attention, etc. He wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if the kid ends up dropping his class. “You’d totally understand where I’m coming from if you were there. He seemed like he really didn’t have any respect for my class at all.”
“Eh, I’m with Hoon on this one, I’m sure it’s nothing bad. I mean, it’s college,” Jake offers his two cents, “That kid’s probably just going through some things, has nothing to do with your teaching. Besides, you’re teaching a math class—how many students do you know actually want to be there? No offense.”
Jay sort of understands, staring at datasets and z-scores can be boring to the ordinary student who’s only taking his class just to get a requirement out of the way. Jake’s in the same boat, the average student doesn’t care much for physics either.
Jay sighs deeply, grabbing the peach soju bottle and pours himself another shot. “….We’ll see how the semester plays out.”
That night Jay went home thinking that maybe his friends were right and that he was being dramatic about the whole thing. But looking at the situation through the eyes of a data scientist, he couldn’t ignore the obvious patterns as the days dragged on.
-
The student Yang Jungwon is frequently absent from class.
Jay teaches this specific class twice a week, every Monday and Wednesday starting promptly at 11:30 AM that lasts until 1:10 PM. Jungwon’s attendance is inconsistent, only showing up for one day out of the week, which is strange considering he made a big show on the first day of class because his name was missing from the class roster. Attendance in his class is 10% of the student’s final grade, Jungwon’s losing precious points if this behavior persists.
-
When he does show up, he sits in the same seat all the way in the back. He doesn’t take any notes, wears his headphones for the whole two hours, how he expects to learn like that, Jay doesn’t know. His lack of effort is apparent in the weekly quizzes every Wednesday to show a student's understanding, also worth 10% of a student's grade. Jungwon has failed all of them except the first.
At this point, Jay is concerned. He understands that statistics can be difficult and that students learn at different paces. To combat this he recommends free online learning sources for students to use, makes sure to remind students to utilize the free on-campus tutoring since their tuition dollars are paying for it anyway, and encourages them to form study groups if need be. And like all professors, Jay hosts office hours after every class from 1:30 to 2:30. Jungwon has not attended a single one, nor had made any attempt to reach out to him regarding his grades in his class.
Jay has offered up everything he could give. The only thing he can do is send Jungwon an academic referral to maybe prompt him to take action; if Jungwon continues on like this there'll be no more opportunities for him to turn his grade around and will ultimately fail the class.
After sending out the email before the weekend, by the time Monday rolls around again Jay observes Jungwon to be among the last batch of students trickling in before class begins. Jay was a little surprised to see that he actually came, he must’ve seen his email.
He’s proven right when class ends and Jungwon lingers behind instead of being one of the first to leave. Jay's eyes are trained on him, silently watching the boy saunter down the lecture hall steps and approach him at his podium. He looks positively tired, his under eye bags apparent.
Jay pushes up his glasses. “…Jungwon, I presume? Glad to finally see you in class.”
“I got an email saying that I was at risk of failing,” he says with a shrug like he’d rather be literally anywhere else but here.
“Correct. You rarely attend class, only showing up for the weekly quizzes. Even then, you always have your headphones in during my lessons. I have a strict no phone policy as per the syllabus, if you don’t know.”
“Oh, really?” Jungwon crossed his arms over his chest, “I didn’t think you’d notice me out of all these students.”
Jay resists the urge to roll his eyes and scoff out loud. This nonchalant attitude of his isn’t doing him any favors. “…Listen, I did not ask to meet with you after class to antagonize you. I understand that statistics, or any math subject can be tough, and as a professor it is my job to help you succeed. But in order for me to help you, you have to actually put in the effort. I have office hours every day after class, so why haven’t you come if you know you need help?”
“I leave straight for work after class ends, and my job is like an hour away. If I had a car the journey would be faster, but all I can do is rely on the bus, and if you haven’t realized the bus system around the campus area absolutely sucks.”
“I see. Have you utilized the on campus tutoring services, then? They’re free, all you have to do is logon to the school portal and—”
“I tried, and they suck too,” Jungwon scoffs. “Once, me and the tutor were both trying to google the answers to your NASA-level homework.”
“I make up all of my homework and exam questions.”
“…I figured.” Jungwon sighs deeply, and his expression changes. This time, he actually looks apologetic, “Believe me, I am trying, professor, even if you don’t think I am. I just have a lot on my plate right now. I’m not the best at math, financial aid is giving me issues, and I’m pretty sure I have undiagnosed ADHD,” the words come out like rapid fire, “I’m stressed with extracurriculars, my other classes, and work—which, speaking of, I’ll be late for if I don’t run now to catch the bus—”
“Okay, hold on,” Jay cuts him short and quickly starts gathering his things, “We’ll walk and talk.”
“Wait, huh?”
“You have a bus to catch, don’t you? I’ll walk with you, ask you some questions and see if we can figure out a schedule for you to make it to my office hours. I was wrong, I see that you’re actively trying, and even I can see the exhaustion on your face. I am willing to accommodate you, but only if you meet me halfway.”
“Wait, seriously?” Jungwon’s previous tired eyes seem to light up, giving his face back some color. It was like what Jay told him was nothing short of a miracle in his eyes, which honestly makes Jay feel a little terrible for judging the boy albeit a bit harshly.
Together they walk side by side across campus towards the bus stop, just Jay asking Jungwon to tell him a little about himself so he can understand him better. Jay learns that Jungwon serves as co-dance coordinator on one of the many competitive dance teams on campus, currently takes five classes, and also works two jobs, one in the campus library where he sits at the front desk and the other at a supermarket downtown.
No wonder the boy comes to his class looking like a zombie, it seems he has no time to do anything else, let alone sleep. “And you said you’re a senior?”
“Yep. I’ve been putting off taking statistics for years because I knew how much I sucked at math and desperately wanted to avoid it. I tried taking it online over the summer thinking it would be easier to cheat but I still managed to fail. But now it’s my last semester so I have no choice but to lock in.”
Jay nods along, soaking up all the new information. “It seems to me that you have an overwhelming schedule, no wonder my class is tough on you. According to your schedule, you have some free time on Tuesday’s don’t you? I have reserved office hours from 2 to 4 in the afternoon for another course I teach that students rarely attend. Why don’t you stop by?”
“2 to 4… I think I have work study in the library in the morning but I’m sure I can make it.”
“Perfect. We’ll work with Tuesday’s for now, this week we can go over material that will definitely be on the quiz for Wednesday.”
Jungwon smiles, showing off his dimples Jay hadn’t noticed before. “Thank you, by the way. I greatly appreciate you trying to work with me. Not many professors actually give a shit about their students enough to even ask what’s wrong before they start jumping to conclusions.”
“You’re welcome. And as long as you put in the effort like I said, I am more than willing to help you. I want you showing up to every class on time, and giving me your undivided attention. That means no phone, no headphones, no distractions.” They arrive at the bus stop where a few students are already waiting, “Think you can handle that for me?”
Jungwon jokingly pretends to ponder before nodding his head, agreeing. “I think I can.”
Jay smiles too, “Wonderful.” Just in time, the bus comes into view and he waves Jungwon goodbye, “I’ll see you in class, Jungwon. Enjoy your shift.”
✧˚📝 ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ
Admittedly, Jungwon thanking Jay for checking up on him made him feel really good about himself.
He was wrong about the boy after all, he isn’t the slacker type like he previously thought. He’s just a regular boy who’s having trouble balancing his student and social life, among other things. He just needed to be heard and be given the extra push needed to succeed, and Jay gave him that push.
Jungwon has taken his words to heart too, keeping to his promise of putting in effort. The next day Jungwon came to his office and they went over past quizzes where Jay explained where he went wrong and reviewed with him the topics of previous lectures. Jungwon had been attentive, seemingly absorbing all of what Jay had explained.
His attendance has significantly improved as well, every morning Jungwon comes to class a few minutes early, comes down to the podium and greets him with a cute, ‘Good morning, professor!’ before heading to his seat.
Fast forward to today, yet another Tuesday that they meet for tutoring. Progress is being made, as evident by his improved quiz scores, just very little. “How often do you review your notes whenever you’re not in class?”
Jungwon leans his elbows on his desk, resting his chin on his palm. “Hmm… only when I’m doing homework. Or the night before a test. And right before a test.”
“...Yeah, I can tell.” Jay had given him a short practice quiz to test his knowledge, some multiple choice and some written response. “About half of these are wrong.”
Jungwon frowns. “...What? I know for a fact this one’s right.” He leans forward and points to the first question where he picked C, “The next one I guessed on. And the third. The rest I’m not 100% sure on, but I know for a fact number seven is definitely B.”
“Look at question two: what is the probability of rolling a 4 on a six-sided die only once? All you had to do was divide 1 by 6 since a single dice has only six sides and only one side has 4, resulting in 0.167 if you rounded to the nearest hundredth.”
“I was close…”
Jay lets out a little laugh, his pout is sort of adorable. “Now, you answered question three correctly, the second set of numbers had a larger standard deviation, but had the problem asked you to explain your answer, you wouldn’t have been able to tell me, would you?” He looks at Jungwon’s face, and judging by his unsure expression it’s looking like a no. Jay braces his elbows on the table, “I think that’s your problem. I don’t want you ‘guessing’ the answers, I want you confident that you picked the right one. Questions like these will be on the quiz tomorrow, no surprises, no curveballs. What I want you to do is go home and study these topics, hammer the concepts into your mind and actually try and understand. You’re intelligent, Jungwon, I just need you to believe in yourself more. Do that, and I’m sure you’ll score higher on the next quiz.”
For a short moment, Jungwon simply stares at him, blinking repeatedly. “You should look into motivational speaking.”
Jay’s a bit taken aback by the sudden change in topic, almost flustered by the compliment. “Did I just inspire you?”
“Well, my self-esteem just skyrocketed, so I’d say yeah.” Absent-mindedly Jungwon digs the eraserhead of his pencil into the wooden surface of the desk, “I’ve been wondering… What made you want to teach stats anyway? You look kinda young to be a professor.”
“I’m only thirty two. During my undergrad I majored in business with a concentration in information systems management. Lots of computing data and numbers. I liked school so much I also decided to teach.”
“Wow… all that brain power and yet you decided to settle for a professor’s salary?”
Jay softly chuckles, “It’s enough for me.”
“And you’re humble, too? I aspire to be you.”
He softly laughs again, this guy really speaks his mind. “Remind me of your major, again?”
“Sociology. I plan to do social work… or something. I dunno, I didn’t know what else to do so I copied my mom. Right now I’m kinda just going with the flow.”
Jay hums, “If you could choose one thing you could do for the rest of your life without any restraints, what would you do?”
“Dancing, for sure,” Jungwon perks up. “Whenever I’m in the studio or with my team I’m at my happiest, and we all just get lost in the music having the grandest time.” He then sighs, “Although… the team has been pissing me off lately. Almost every night I stay up late reworking formations because of their demands. I just wish the team would ease up on me a little, because when I dance I feel like I finally have control over my life. Everything else just stresses me out.”
“…I am surprised you haven’t exhausted yourself yet. Remember to take care of yourself, alright? You should start prioritizing yourself and get some rest.”
“Wish I could, but I need to work to have money to pay rent, and I need the dance team or else I’ll lose my freaking mind.” Jungwon buries his head deep in his hands, tugging harshly on his bangs as if to relieve some of the stress. “No worries, though, I’ll rest all Saturday afternoon so I can go out and party at night.”
“Or, you could use that time to study.”
“Weekends are for having fun, I have during the week to study.”
“But you don’t.”
“I will. Starting now.”
Jay laughs, “Right, right.”
After every tutoring session Jungwon never fails to segue into telling Jay little snippets of what goes on in his daily life. Every week is a new story, whether it’s about the inner workings of the dance team, gossip about whatever, and even work drama. His rants are always episodic worthy and outrageous, Jay half wonders if he’s embellishing them a little for the laughs. Whether it’s the truth or a little white lie, Jay’s entertained regardless. Jungwon’s like a breath of fresh air, their private sessions are a highlight of his day, something he looks forward to every Tuesday.
One week Jay stays later on campus than usual. There had been an event he volunteered for that had run overtime, and only now is he leaving. It’s a Friday night and he has nothing else planned, so like all single individuals he decides to make a pit stop to the store and buy a couple bottles so he can drink himself into a stupor.
He drives to the nearest supermarket to pick up a few other things, making it in time just before they close for the night. After finding what he needed and nears the checkout line, Jay can’t help but realize just how sad his life has become. Before when things were different, when she was still around, he would be dragged from bar to bar experiencing all what the city’s nightlife had to offer. Nowadays he buys alcohol all for himself and drinks it all in front of his TV.
“Professor Park?”
He’s knocked out of his thoughts when a familiar voice calls out his name, and when he looks he realizes Jungwon is the cashier, wearing a stupid blue vest as a uniform, “Oh, hey—I forgot you worked here.”
“Sometimes I wish I could forget too,” he remarks dryly. “Working the closing shift sucks, some customers get mad when we don’t have shit in stock at the end of the day, and others wander in to buy things when we’re obviously trying to clean and close.”
Guilty. “Ah… sorry about that.”
“You’re fine. Actually, seeing you might've just brightened my day.” Jungwon picks up one of the bottles he placed down and inspects it closely, “Three bottles of wine…? Are you having a party or something?”
“Party of three. Me, myself, and I.”
“…You and I both know my math skills aren’t the best but, sounds like you’re just drinking alone?”
“Sure am. It’s nice to be alone and wind down after a long week of work. I can’t wait to go home and lie down on my couch, my back has been killing me lately.”
“Wow… you really are thirty two.”
“And you’re really bold for throwing my age back at me.” Jay watches him scan and bag the rest of his items, “Unlike you twenty-somethings, I’m more than satisfied with staying indoors and watching TV on the couch with a cold glass in my hand.”
“Right, right. And yet you choose to spend your night drinking this brand? The red one’s okay, I guess, but the white wine is plain awful—it’s so bitter.”
“What do you know about that? Are you even the legal drinking age?”
“Duh. I told you I was a senior, remember?” Jungwon taps whatever buttons on the register before signaling to him, “Will you be paying with cash or card?”
“Card.” Jay swipes his card and waits until payment is approved before eventually turning his head to see that it’s basically pitch dark outside. He glances back at Jungwon who hands him his receipt and bagged items, “Do you really work the closing shift every single time?”
“Unfortunately. I’ve told my manager repeatedly that I don’t want to close but everytime he’s like ‘you know it’s based on your availability’ to which I reply, ‘I don’t give a shit’. But I haven’t been fired and my schedule hasn’t changed so I don’t think I can do anything about it anymore…”
“Can’t you quit?”
“I would but I kinda need this job, and I’ve been rejected from everywhere except here. I’ll just suck it up, I guess.” Jungwon sighs, “Normally I wouldn’t care this much, but I really hate taking the bus back. It’s already terrible during daytime but at night I swear it takes like three business days just for one to show up.”
The words leave Jay’s mouth before he can fully think, “…Do you live close to here? I don’t mind dropping you home real quick.”
Even Jungwon seems just as surprised, “Really…?”
“Yeah. You get off soon, yes?”
“In like… ten minutes or so. Maybe a bit longer if I mess up my locker combination.”
“Then I’ll wait outside for you in the parking lot with my car. I’d hate to just leave you to take the bus this late at night.”
“God… Thank you,” Jungwon smiles brightly. “I’ll make sure to be quick, then.”
True to his word Jay drove his car up to the front of the store and waited for Jungwon to come out. Eventually the boy shows up, no longer in the vibrant blue vest but a black long sleeve and light jacket, coming to sit in the passenger seat and thanking him again for waiting.
“You can play some music, if you want,” Jay says to make the atmosphere around them less awkward. They’re both used to interacting in class or in Jay’s office, but being in his car late at night is completely different, and strangely intimate. “The Bluetooth’s name is Jane.”
Having been staring out the window the whole time, Jungwon turns his head and looks at him confused, “Who’s Jane?”
“The name of my car,” he answers simply, but before Jungwon can laugh Jay’s quick to clarify, “And before you judge, it’s perfectly normal for people to name their car.”
“Sure…” Jungwon gets his giggles out anyway, and successfully connects. The first song he plays is a generic pop song, something Jay’s heard on the radio plenty of times. Jungwon gently taps his finger to the beat on his lap, “Do people of your demographic know this song?”
“That’s like the second ageist joke you tried making within thirty minutes.” Thirty isn’t that old, he was in twenties just yesterday, “And of course I know this song, I’m a certified music connoisseur.”
Jungwon snorts, “Really?”
“Yes, really. I have like three guitars at home, and four back at my parents. Sometimes if I’m feeling bold I play at the open mic night downtown.”
“Oh yeah? What’s your usual set? A classical piece from Mozart?”
“You wish.”
“Sorry, wrong old guy. Beethoven?”
“Classical rock. Alternative rock. Anything rock, really. It’s one of the best genres out there, in my opinion.”
“Oh, you mean like bands like Oasis?”
Jay’s surprisingly caught off guard, “You know them?”
“My dad played the song Wonderwall so many times when I was younger that you would’ve thought he was in the band too.” Jungwon picks his phone up from his lap, “I’ll play it next.”
“Ah, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“It’s fine, I’ve grown to like it too.”
Jungwon plays him the song, and the familiar chords and lyrics travel through the car. Jay sings lowly underneath his breath, fingers tapping to the beat on his steering wheel. He glances to check on Jungwon to find him already staring, softly chuckling at his actions.
The song plays out, seamlessly transitioning to the next generic pop track that he’s also heard a couple of times. “So… do you have any plans for the weekend?” Jay asks.
“Nothing crazy for tonight, but tomorrow’s gonna be a movie. I have work in the morning then practice in the afternoon, and at night I’m going to a party one of my friends is throwing.”
“Sounds fun.”
“Feeling nostalgic from your college days? Were you a party person or a homebody?”
“I partied here and there, but mostly homebody. During my undergrad I mostly just studied, and if I were to go out I much preferred bars. It’s a calmer atmosphere.”
“I feel you. My social battery is always quick to run out so a calm atmosphere without much noise sounds nice. But it’s one of the dance team’s member’s birthday weekend so we’re all going out to celebrate. Besides, it's been a while since I got drunk.”
“Don’t go too hard now,” Jay teases. Following the GPS he turns onto the street of Jungwon’s apartment. “This is the right building, correct?”
“Yessir.” Jungwon unbuckles his seatbelt, and his hand lingers on the car door handle. “Thanks again for driving me home.”
“No problem. I take pride in helping my students in any way I can.”
Jungwon beams, proudly showing off his cute dimples. “I’ll see you in class, Professor Park.”
“…See you.” Jay replies, waiting until Jungwon’s no longer in view before driving off.
✧˚📝 ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ
In all of Jay’s years of teaching at the university, not once has he ever found himself having lingering thoughts about a student outside of work.
Of course, there have certainly been memorable students, such as Kim Sunoo from last year, an overachiever with a kind heart. But even so, Jay only thinks about him every so often, and definitely not to the extent of which he thinks about Jungwon.
Last Friday night when Jay offered to drop Jungwon home after work, it was just a one-off thing, simply a kind gesture because he’d feel like the world's biggest dickhead if he allowed that poor boy to take the bus home alone in the dark. Plus he was traveling that direction anyway, it was no skin off his back.
Yet as the weekend passed his mind always seemed to drift back to Jungwon. The boy’s smile when he thanked him for the ride has been etched into his mind as if the grooves of his brain have taken the form of his face.
He likes Jungwon—as a student, of course.
He’s fun, he makes Jay laugh. He’s interesting to talk to, he could talk for hours about literally anything and Jay would listen. He might not be the best at math but he genuinely tries his best, Jay commends him for his effort. Jungwon’s also incredibly attractive, no one would disagree, but Jay feels like an absolute creep for even entertaining that sort of thought.
When he walks into the lecture hall on Monday morning he stops in tracks, not at all expecting Jungwon to already be there waiting for him by the podium. Of course, he’s the first person Jay runs into after his weekend dilemma.
As usual, Jungwon cheerfully greets him, “Morning, Professor!”
His smile’s contagious, “Good morning, Jungwon. I’m surprised you’re here before me.”
Jungwon grins, “I guess you can say I’ve been more motivated recently,” he says. “I saw you posted the quiz grades: I got a 75! That’s the highest score I’ve gotten in this class.”
“You did, I’m proud of you,” Jay praises, “I’m glad the extra hours we’ve been putting in are helping. Hopefully your midterm grade reflects that too.”
“All thanks to you.” Jungwon leans on the podium’s edge, carefully watching Jay unpack his satchel on the nearby table. “…I know I keep saying this but thanks again for driving me home on Friday. As well as sacrificing your free time to help tutor me in stats even though I was sort of slacking in the beginning. It’s rare for a professor to actually care, and without your early intervention I definitely would’ve failed this class.”
“I shouldn’t take all the credit. You also had the drive to strive harder. Just a little bit of effort can go a long way, and you definitely proved yourself.” Jay extends his hand to give him a reassuring pat to his shoulder, “Don’t sell yourself short.”
“…Thanks,” he mumbles shyly, same time when the early-comer students start trickling in. He glances around, “I’ll, uh. I’ll go back to my seat now.”
Jay watches him skip up the steps, and can’t help but chuckle at how strangely endearing Jungwon is.
Maybe that’s what it is, simply endearment. It’s not totally unusual for a teacher to feel the satisfaction of a previous struggling student gradually improving. Nothing more, nothing less.
Next day at office hours, Jay felt a lot less guilty seeing Jungwon come in after convincing himself that he's not some pervert. His mind is clearer, his chest feels lighter, ready to seize the day and get through another successful tutoring session.
“Jungwon, welcome,” Jay looks up from his desktop to greet him as the boy sits across from him at his desk. “Did you get started on the homework yet?”
“Do you have a favorite student?” he asks instead.
Jay almost laughs, he should’ve known Jungwon would get sidetracked before they managed to get any work done. “I treat all of my students the same.”
“That’s such a cop out answer. Come on, everyone has favorites. I promise I won’t tell.”
“Do you have a favorite teacher?”
“I might,” he shrugs, looking smug. “Are you curious? I’ll tell you if you answer my question.”
“Ah, suddenly I’m no longer interested.”
Jungwon groans dramatically, “Seriously?”
“Very serious.” Jay directs his focus back to his desktop, “Now get out your homework sheet and try to finish so we can go over them. If you finish it within the next thirty minutes and get at least half of them right, I’ll give you something.”
That piques Jungwon’s interest, “Give me what?”
Jay smirks, “That’s for you to find out.”
Much to Jay’s amusement, Jungwon scrambles to open his bag and get started on the homework. Every few minutes or so he’d take a peak at what Jungwon’s doing and every time he saw the boy absorbed in his paper, diligently working. Once the thirty minutes were up Jay reviewed it for him, and he managed to get exactly half of them right.
He looks back to Jungwon looking at him expectantly, hands tucked under his chin. “So, what’s my prize?”
Jay sighs, a promise is a promise. He goes underneath his desk and fetches a jar full of cheap lollipops he bought a while ago. “Pick your favorite flavors.”
“Why do you have these?” Jungwon asks as he picks which ones he wants.
“It’s for the other class I teach, the advanced course. I’m doing a lesson about sampling distributions and I thought incorporating the lollipops would be a fun incentive for them.”
“Why don’t we get fun lessons too?”
“Intro to Statistics isn’t already fun for you?”
“If it was, I'd be at the top of the class,” he quips. “But you make it more tolerable.”
Something warm settles in Jay’s chest, but he’s quick to ignore the feeling. “You have practice after this, don’t you? Why don’t you take a couple more for the team?”
“Jokes on you, I’m saving the rest of these for me,” he brags while sticking his tongue out, grabbing a couple handfuls. “You think if I mix these with alcohol it’ll make it sweeter?”
“You’re gonna drink on a Tuesday night?” Jay snorts, “Will you be able to make it to class tomorrow?”
“I’m not drinking tonight… but I will Saturday. I’m going to a house warming party for one of my coworkers. At first I was gonna give an excuse to not go because I’m not that close with her, but apparently we have a ton of mutual friends so it just might be fun.”
“Sounds eventful. I myself also have an exciting weekend planned.”
At the same time, Jungwon unwraps a strawberry flavored lollipop and sticks it into his mouth. “Drinking three bottles of wine all on your own again doesn’t sound very ‘exciting’.”
“Ha ha. I’m talking about the open mic night, the one I told you about in my car? I plan on performing again.”
“Where?” Jay gestures for him to come around his desk to view his desktop screen better. Jungwon drags his chair and props it right next to him to sit, leaning closer. “Ohhh. I think I’ve passed by it a couple of times. Never went in, though.”
“Makes sense, it’s a more chill vibe meant for the older crowd. Usually when I go I just play guitar but this time I might sing something too, step out of my comfort zone a little.”
Jungwon’s eyes widened, “You can sing too?”
“What if I told you I once dreamed of being a rockstar? I begged my dad to put me in music and singing lessons.”
“Then you’ve made one hell of a career change. How do you go from wanting to be a rockstar of all things to a damn stats professor?”
“Believe it or not, it is way easier becoming a lecturer than becoming a rockstar. Besides, I still do both: I teach in the day and at nights I can perform a little song. Best of both worlds, don’t you think?”
His eyes accidentally flick down to catch Jungwon’s pink tongue swirling around the candy, right before he pops it out of mouth to laugh, “I’m intrigued. I might have to stop by and see one of these performances for myself.”
After staring at his mouth for way longer than appropriate, Jay quickly looks away and stands from his chair. “…Ah, is it that time already? I need to start walking to my next class if I want to make it in time,” he fumbles an excuse.
“Is it across campus?” Jungwon asks, standing too.
Jay nods, “…Yes. You did good today, keep up the good work. Remember, midterms are—”
“Midterms are quickly approaching and that I should do well because it’s worth 25% of our grade?” Jungwon finishes his sentence, packing his bag. “I know. I’ve been paying attention, professor.”
“…Just checking.” It was an innocent gesture, why is he overthinking this? Jungwon’s his student, for Christ's sake. “Have a good practice. I’ll see you tomorrow in class?”
“Bright and early,” Jungwon flashes his signature dimpled smile and drags the chair back to its original place before leaving his office.
Jay sits and slumps back against his chair, hammering his fists against his forehead. The office is much quieter now that he’s alone with his thoughts, which only makes the background voices in his head seem much louder.
His lips are pretty. His mouth is small. I wonder if it’d be the same if instead of the lollipop it was my—
Jay releases a long sigh. This might be a problem.
✧˚📝 ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ
“Sure you won’t be lonely this weekend without me? My offer for you to come with me to Busan is still on the table.”
Friday night Jay ended up staying on campus long after his last class ended, pen in hand as he helped annotate Jake’s research draft. A favor for his friend, who’s traveling this weekend to a conference in the aforementioned city.
“I’ll be just fine. I can function well on my own, you know, all I need is my red wine and a drama series with the fan blasting, and I’m set.”
“You’re gonna be drinking alone? Uh oh.”
“What do you mean, ‘uh oh’? I’m not some pathetic alcoholic.”
“But you are an emotional drunk. I know you so well—first you’ll start babbling nonsense, then yap your business to anyone who’ll listen, and it’s always something that shouldn’t be said. Remember when you called Julia that one time?”
“I won’t do that again, twice was enough.”
“But they say third time’s the charm.”
Jay shakes his head, “Not with this. I’m completely over her now.”
“Good, because you’re sexy. And you’ve got money to spend despite her calling you broke. You should put yourself out there again, give me a surprise to come back to on Monday.”
Quite frankly, Jay’s more amused than anything, “I’ve never met anyone who wanted me to get laid this badly…”
“You’ve been a bit stressed this semester, haven’t you? Might as well find some way to relieve yourself.”
He makes it sound so easy, as if Jay could just walk into an establishment and the guys and ladies will be all over him. It’s been ages since he cold approached someone, and the last time he did quite literally changed the trajectory of his life—and not in a good way.
Though, part of Jay wonders if he should just take Jake’s advice, it might just be what he needs to take his mind off of… “You know what, I’ll think about it.”
Saturday night Jay actually does try taking Jake’s advice. After his open mic night set he lingered for a while, hoping for a miracle. But, no one in the place has caught his eye.
Defeated, Jay ends up leaving with the plan of going home and drinking the rest of his wine until he passes out. The quiet walk to his car was however interrupted when he heard a couple, two guys, arguing across the street.
“C’mon babe,” the taller guy hassles the shorter one, gripping tightly onto his wrists. Looking closely, Jay recognizes the one struggling to get away is Jungwon. “Stop playing hard to get, you know you miss me.”
“I hate you, get off of me—” Jungwon elbows the harasser in the gut and stumbles away, clearly inebriated. He scurries across the street where Jay is, eyes lighting up with recognition when he sees him. “Oh my gosh, you’re here!” he shouts, and before Jay could properly react Jungwon grabs onto his arm like he was his lifeline.
The guy he was running away from jogs towards them and stares in confusion, “….Who the fuck is this?”
“None of your fucking business,” Jungwon retorts, clinging on tighter to Jay’s arm.
“Is he your new boytoy? You think you’re hot shit just ‘cus you bagged an older man?” Dude scoffs, “I should’ve never cuffed a slut like you, you give it up easily to literally anyone who’s nice to you—”
“That’s enough.” Jay blocks his attempts to get closer with his arm. He gently pulls Jungwon behind him, freeing himself from his grip only to wrap his arm securely around his waist. “You better leave him alone and go back to where you came from or else I’ll call the police.”
“Ooh police, how spooky—” he mocks in a high-pitched tone, putting his hands in the air pretending to be scared. “I’m not afraid of no cops, bitch.”
“Asshole, just go away!” Jungwon yells.
“Get away. I mean it,” Jay also warns.
“Or what?” The guy attempts to get closer but Jay punches him in the jaw, his sharp rings piercing his lip. The force causes him to lose balance and fall onto the pavement, laying there unconscious.
“God dammit…” Jay rolls his wrist. The movies make it seem so easy, but that punch seriously pained his wrist. He looks back at Jungwon, grabbing his shoulders to keep him steady. “Hey, you okay?”
“No,” Jungwon shakes his head, “Saw ‘m at the party so I left but he caught up to me… I tried getting away but he wouldn’t stop bothering me…” he mumbles while swaying. He drops his head to Jay's shoulder, apologizing, “Sorry… my brain is literally sliding inside my skull. I think I drank too much… Am sleepy…”
“It’s fine, you’re safe now. I’m gonna get you home, okay?” Jay reassures, but Jungwon doesn't reply. “Jungwon…?”
Realizing he’s fallen asleep, Jay quickly decides to pick him up bridal style and carry him to his car parked a couple blocks away. Jay struggles to unlock his car doors with one hand occupied but once successful, puts Jungwon to lay down in the backseat. “Jungwon?” He tries again, shaking him.
“Oh… Hi Professor Park,” Jungwon finally opens his eyes, a lazy smile gracing his lips.
Jay plays along, smiling too. “Hi.”
“Did you know… I’ve had like, fifteen Professor Park’s since freshman year,” he giggles, “Our school needs more variety.”
“That’s great, Jungwon. Where’s your phone? Are any of your roommates home for us to call?”
“Thank you for saving me from that jerk, you’re like a knight in shining armor. I’ve always dreamed of having one.” His question gets ignored, and to save time Jay tries searching his pockets for the device, “Ooh, where are you touching~”
Jay finds Jungwon’s phone, but it’s locked. “Jungwon, what’s your password?”
“What were you doing around here anyway…? Didn’t you have the open mic niiiiiight? How did it goooo?”
“It went great. Standing ovation.” Phone’s a no go. Should he just drop him home and hope for the best? “Hey, what’s your address again?”
Suddenly Jungwon sits up and flings his arms around Jay’s shoulders, “Gasp. You had a standing ovation? That’s sooooo sweet! I wish I was there, way better than being sexually harassed.”
“…Lord, please give me strength,” Jay mutters as he straps Jungwon in the back seat. “Please stay put, I’m just going to take you to my apartment and sober you up there instead.”
“Okayyyyy!”
Jungwon quickly falls asleep again, somehow, and remains like that for the rest of the ride. When they arrive at his apartment Jay assists him with walking, and puts Jungwon to sit on his couch. “Don’t move.” He goes to pour him a glass of water from the kitchen and returns moments later, “Drink all of it.”
Jungwon obediently listens, bringing the cup to his lips and drinks. He gets through about half of it before he stops, looking up curiously. “I have a question: do you think water is wet?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because water makes things wet.”
Jungwon grins, “You’re smart. I raise you another question: do you believe soup to be juice?”
Jay huffs, “Just how much did you drink?”
“I… I didn’t mean to drink so much. I swear,” Jungwon leans back against the couch. “They make you take a mandatory shot at the door, and then I took a can from the cooler. But that shit was 5% so I should’ve been fine. But then again, I don’t think I ate much before I left. I also mixed light and dark liquor because people were going around with bottles and I just couldn’t help myself. I’m also a lightweight so—”
“Yeah, that’ll do it,” Jay snickers. Jungwon’s in no state to make it home tonight, Jay has no choice but to offer up his couch to him for the night. “I’ll take you back home in the morning, for now I’ll get you some clothes to change in so you can be comfortable, alright? I’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere.”
Jungwon sloppily salutes him with closed eyes.
Jay heads to his bedroom and rummages through his drawers for a suitable pair of sweats Jungwon can change into. Though when he turns around he nearly jumps, directly behind him stood Jungwon, cheeks flushed, swaying in place as he tries to suppress his fit of giggles. “…Can I just say that I love your apartment? It’s so… maximalist.”
Jay can’t help but smile a little at his cuteness, “Thank you,” he hands Jungwon a folded pair of sweats, “This is for you. You’ll be a lot more comfortable sleeping in this than jeans.”
Jungwon nods, and without hesitation he starts stripping his pants in front of him. Jay quickly faces away, praying to any God that’s willing to listen that he’ll get through this night. “…Are you done?” Cautiously he glances back only because he heard the sound of his mattress creaking, and finds Jungwon sprawled on his bed on his back. Jay notices his hoodie had joined his jeans on the floor, and all that remained on his upper body was the plain white tee that had ridden up just enough to expose his visibly toned abs.
Fuck. This was a terrible idea, “…What are you doing?”
“…Sleeping. Zzzzz.”
Jay sighs through his nose, “Fine, whatever, you can have the bed for the night. I’ll be on the couch if you need me—”
“Wait, stay,” Jungwon sits up and his warm fingers grab his wrist, gently pulling him back. “You’ve done so much for me. You helped me bring my grade up, drove me home, even punched that asshole on my behalf… I feel—I feel like I need to thank you somehow.”
“You don’t owe me anything, Jungwon.”
Ignoring him, Jungwon ponders aloud, “I’m a decent cook! Maybe I could make you something nice. Do you have ingredients here?”
“Most likely, but again I must reiterate that you don’t owe me anything. Seriously,” Jay reassures, squeezing his hand. “And besides, I doubt you could handle yourself in the kitchen right now. You could barely stand all night.”
“I’ve just… never had a teacher who cared this much about me,” Jungwon looks down, his eyes fixed onto his lap. “Do you treat all of your students like this…? Why invest so much of your time in a fuck up like me?”
Jay hesitates answering, but ultimately decides to sit down next to him and answer honestly. “I’ve come to understand you more these past few weeks, and I see potential in you. I already told you before that I value effort over anything else. When I see you putting in that effort, it makes me want to help out even more. As an educator I want nothing more than to see my students succeed, you’re included in that too,” he explains. “Does… that make sense?”
Jungwon looks up from his lap and stares, lips curling into a lazy smile. “…I just realized this is the first time I’m seeing you without your glasses. You have nice eyes.”
Jay blinks, and soon heat rushes into his face like he’s some impressionable school girl. “…It’s late,” he clears his throat and loosens his hand from Jungwon’s grip before standing, “I’ll leave the bed to you, I’ll take the couch.”
“Are you sure…? I already feel like a burden…”
“I’m sure. Good night, Jungwon,” he says gently, moving to turn off the light by the door, “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Good night.”
Quietly, Jay closes the door and makes a detour to the kitchen. There he opens his wine cabinet and drinks half a glass, downing it all in one gulp. He stares at the empty glass for a long moment and lets out an exhausted sigh before heading to the couch.
As he lays down, he prays he falls asleep quickly, rather than stay up all night thinking of a certain boy laid up in his bed.
✧˚📝 ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ
Jay stood in the kitchen cooking, humming softly to a familiar song as the scent of waffle batter and butter hung in the air. This morning he’s cooking a simple breakfast, figuring Jungwon would like to eat a filling meal to cure his hangover.
Right on cue, quiet footsteps sound behind him and looking back he sees Jungwon lingering by the kitchen island. He's dressed in his jeans from last night and his hoodie’s tied around his waist, must’ve just come back from the bathroom.
“Rise and shine,” Jay greets, turning off the waffle iron. “How are you feeling?”
“Like shit,” his tone is flat. “…I made up your sheets and left your sweats folded on the bed. Thanks for letting me sleep there, by the way.”
“No problem.” A comfortable silence falls between them as Jungwon settles into a seat to watch him prepare the finishing touches to their waffles. “You came just in time, they're almost ready.” Jay glances back and is surprised to see Jungwon frowning. “What’s wrong?”
“…I wanna apologize for my behavior last night. I’ve said some… really strange things and basically forced you into taking care of me. I even stole your bed,” he laughs nervously. “I’m incredibly embarrassed…”
“You’re fine, Jungwon. It wasn’t a problem for me at all,” Jay quietly laughs. “And for the record, I’m glad I was there when you needed help from that jackass that was bothering you. I’d do it all over again just to make sure you’re alright, honestly.”
His words seem to make him blush, “You’re so…”
“Amazing? Yeah, I know. Now sit tight so I can serve you your plate.” Jay sets Jungwon’s plate in front of him, accompanied with syrup and a bowl of fruits. “Do you like whipped cream?” he asks, to which Jungwon nods eagerly. He shakes the can before topping the waffle with a neat swirl. Next, Jay fixes his own plate and eats across from Jungwon, opting to stand.
“You know, you’ve got a mean right hook, practically sent Haknyeon to sleep,” Jungwon says after a while, happily munching. “You just might be in the wrong profession.”
“My wrist hurted like hell afterwards, pretty sure the rings I wore is what did the job.” He flicks his wrist, it’s feeling much better. “You said Haknyeon was his name?”
“Yeah. Worst boyfriend ever, by the way. Well, my only boyfriend, I guess. I was so blinded by his handsome looks that I completely ignored all of his red flags.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
Jungwon sighs before he begins, “I met Haknyeon the summer before our first year of university. I was put in a group chat along with many other freshmen and he was one of them, and we bonded over our love for dance. When we finally met in person we just clicked, and by the end of the semester he asked me out and we dated for like a year. At the beginning I had no complaints but quickly I was realizing how lustful he was. He was never much of a romantic, I remember begging for us to go on dates ‘cause when we hung out all we ever did was have sex and nothing else. One day I was fed up, and naively thought that if I withheld sex from him then maybe he’d realize his errors… but nothing changed. He just found someone else to fulfill his needs.”
“What an asshole…” Jay muttered.
“It gets worse; we officially broke up only because I told him I cheated—a lie, by the way. I just wanted to see if he cared. He dumped me faster than a track star and called me a whore because I was ‘easy’ and was having sex with everyone but him. A couple months later I downloaded a dating app out of pure boredom and matched with this super hot guy. After a couple of dates I slept with him, and literally the next morning Haknyeon sent me a whole paragraph just berating me. Apparently he and that guy I was going out with were friends, and the guy recognized me and told him about it, and the only reason he went out with me was to see how far I’d go with him which was Haknyeon’s way of ‘getting back at me’.”
“Oh my god… that’s downright evil,” Jay reacts. “Are you okay…?”
“I’m better now, but at the time I kinda wanted to end it all. His words don’t bother me because I know it’s not true, but I still flinch sometimes when I see him in public. Last night at the party our eyes met by accident, and it completely ruined my mood so I just left. Still, he chased after me and tried asking me for sex… he hasn’t changed at all.”
“It’s good that you don’t let him get to you, because what he’s saying isn’t true. I’m glad you know your worth. It’s a shame that he can’t see that.”
“Yeah… I was a raging misandrist for like two years because of him,” Jungwon laughs bitterly, pushing around his food with his fork. He then looks up at Jay curiously, “….What about you?”
“Me?”
“You practically know the worst parts about me, it’s only fair if you share some of your deepest secrets too,” he reasons. “It can’t be more embarrassing than what I’ve told you.”
“Don’t bank on that. I’ve had many embarrassing moments in my lifetime,” he scratches his nape nervously. “What do you want to know?”
“…You never mentioned you used to be married,” Jungwon hesitates to say, but soon regrets. “Sorry—I didn’t mean to snoop. I just happened to see the photo of the woman on your dresser when I was in there, underneath the ring box.”
“…I guess the cat’s out of the bag, not that I was trying to hide it.” Jay shrugs. It’s in the past now, he’s healed enough to freely talk about it. He moves to sit beside Jungwon on the other side, “The picture you saw was of Julia—my ex-fiancée.”
“Fiancée? Why did you two split?” Jungwon starts firing off questions, Jay can’t keep up, “I honestly can’t fathom anyone leaving you, you’re like, the total package.”
Jay snorts. “She would absolutely disagree with you. Despite that, it was an amicable split. We both just wanted different things in life. Julia preferred the fast lifestyle, whereas I was perfectly comfortable with the way our life already was. In the end we couldn’t compromise, and she gave me back the ring. It’s been about a year, and I haven’t heard much from her since.”
“…Do you still love her?” Jungwon asks quietly.
“I still have love for her, but I’m not in love with her. Haven’t for a long time.”
“Then why do you still keep the ring on your dresser?”
“As a reminder of past memories, I guess. Helps me feel less lonely around here.”
Jungwon slowly nods, “That’s a nice way to view things. If it’s any consolation, it’s totally her loss.”
Jay chuckles, then takes the opportunity to change subjects. “How’s the waffles, by the way? It’s been a while since I’ve cooked for someone other than myself.”
“Oh, they’re delicious! Better than anything I could ever make.”
“I thought you said you were a decent cook?”
“I dunno why I even said that, that’s a total lie. I’m the type to burn water.” Jungwon gleefully finishes the last of his waffle, licking his lips free of the syrup. “See? Cleaned my plate completely.”
Jay softly laughs. “I can see that. You still got some whipped cream on your face.”
Jungwon tries licking around his mouth. “Did I get it?”
Jay shakes his head, and without thinking he extends his hand to hold his cheek and wipe the cream from his nose with his thumb. The contact only lasted for a few seconds, and Jay quickly retracts his hand once realizing how intimate this gesture could be. He looks away, pretending to cough, “So, uh. No work today?”
“…Imagine.” Jungwon rolls his eyes, “Unless they’d be fine with me coming in hungover every Sunday, they knew better not to schedule me.” He gets up from his seat, taking his empty plate with him. “Either way, I feel like I should go now. I’ve overstayed my welcome and I’m pretty sure my roommates are wondering where the hell I've been…”
“Yeah. Yeah, okay. If you’re ready I can change into something quickly so I can drive you back.”
“Wait, no, I can order an Uber. I don’t wanna take up more of your time.”
“Jungwon, how many times do I have to tell you that it’s okay? Save your money. I can drop you off no problem, I have errands to run anyway.” Jay takes the plate from him to put it in the sink to wash later, “Give me five minutes and I’ll be right out.”
Jungwon agrees, and Jay quickly changes into a simple pants and shirt. The drive back was comfortable, Jungwon took over DJ duties again, playing songs from his playlist and some of Jay’s requests. Before long they arrive at Jungwon’s, “Here we are, tu casa.”
Jungwon rolls his eyes playfully as he unbuckles his seatbelt. “Thanks for the ride home. And for breakfast. And taking care of me last night. And punching that douchebag on my behalf. I should just thank you for existing, honestly.”
“You’re welcome,” Jay smiles easily, “And speaking of that douchebag, you should be careful. If he was that bold enough to approach you like that at the party, I fear for your safety of what he might do to you now, especially after that punch.”
“I was thinking that earlier this morning, but I’m sure I’ll be fine. He only acted that way ‘cause he's a drunk idiot, but any other day he just scoffs at me and moves along.”
“Still…”
“Why so worried? Plan to protect me from him once again?” he teases, “Are you itching to uppercut him next time?”
“Yes, actually,” Jay states honestly. “Do you want to take down my number? Just in case he does something to you again.”
“…Okay.” Jay hands him his phone and Jungwon puts his number in, texting himself so he gets his contact too. “There, saved. Peep the contact name.”
“Fav student with a heart…?” Jay reads aloud, “A little presumptuous, don’t you think?”
“Is it not true? I’m just making it known, is all.”
Jay laughs, “Just Jungwon is perfect enough, I’m sure.”
“You’re not denying it.” Jungwon grins triumphantly and exits the car, waving excitedly. “See you in class!”
“See you,” Jay says after him. Once he’s gone he takes the opportunity to look back at the heart Jungwon saved next to his name, unable to contain his smile.
✧˚📝 ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ
“Hey. I received your message, what’s up?”
Monday morning before class, Jay received his first message from Jungwon asking him to stay a while after class, saying that he had something to tell him. Jay had spent the entire lecture wondering about it.
“I just wanted to briefly come up and hand you this,” Jungwon opens his bag and pulls out a birthday card, and hands it over. “I know it says happy birthday but just disregard that—they didn’t have any generic ‘thank you’ cards at the store. Inside is a gift card, I just wanted to give you something special to express my appreciation for all that you’ve done for me.”
Jay stares at the card in awe, “Oh wow… thank you, Jungwon.”
Jungwon smiles, “Spend it wisely. I’m headed to work now, gotta run to the bus stop. Bye!”
He jogs out of the classroom, leaving Jay behind to stand there still staring at the card. Inside was a handwritten note, expressing again how much he appreciates him signed with a little heart.
Jay doesn’t remember the last time a student gave him a gift. He doesn't think any student has given him a gift before. Jungwon truly is one of a kind.
As the days pass, Jay has started noticing more things about him. In class Jungwon has this intense stare, furrowing his eyebrows in a cute way when he’s frustrated. Sometimes he lingers a little longer in class once everyone’s left just to chat with Jay a bit before running to catch the bus. During tutoring when he asks Jay questions he has a habit of tilting his head to the side curiously. And on the days Jay stays late on campus, he visits the store Jungwon works at to buy a few items, always offering him a ride after his shift.
Their bond has developed naturally, their interactions gradually become part of Jay’s routine. It’s nice, Jungwon’s nice, Jay feels nice. He’s like the spark in Jay’s otherwise boring life.
One day in office hours, Jay looks away from his desktop to check up on him, and sees Jungwon already staring. “Do you need something?”
“Have you ever thought about giving extra credit?”
“I don’t usually give extra credit. Totalling the points of the homework, quizzes, attendance, along with exams is more than enough for a student to pass.”
“Keyword: ‘usually’. According to the syllabus, you indicated at the end that things are subject to change. It was marked in bold with an asterisk, you couldn’t miss it.”
Jay chuckles, “I do remember that. But why are you bringing it up? Are you worried that you still might fail?”
“The extra help you’ve been giving me has helped my grade tremendously, but a few extra points on the upcoming midterm wouldn’t hurt, is what I’m saying. So how about it? Are you willing to grant me a miracle, professor?”
Jay leans forward, folding his hands, “Let’s say I do, I can’t grant you extra credit and not give it to other students, that wouldn’t be fair.”
“Then do that. I’m sure they’ll be very appreciative.”
“If I’m going to give extra credit, it needs to be something the students have to work for. A challenge.”
“Like, a riddle? I love those,” he gets excited, “I’ve got one: a mom gives birth to seven daughters, and each of those daughters has a brother. How many people are in the family?”
“Is there a dad?”
“Um, I don’t know. I don’t remember the riddle mentioning that part…”
Jay laughs, “I was more so thinking along the lines of students conducting a mini data analysis project. Explain how data is used in the real world using a concept of their choice.”
Jungwon makes a face of disgust. “So like, a mini essay? In statistics? You know this is a math class, right?”
“I’m well aware, but you do know that statistics is a science of raw data, and sometimes data just can’t be explained using only numbers.”
Jungwon slumps backwards in his seat, “That sounds like a lot of work…”
“Well, you did say you wanted extra credit, didn’t you? To earn it, you gotta put in the ‘extra’ effort,” Jay jokes, “See what I did there?”
“…That was corny,” Jungwon snorts. “So, can you at least help me plan out this mini project? What real world concepts are out there that I can analyze?”
“Plenty. You can conduct some interviews, for example. Interview a sample of specific sub groups of people and compare the data you got from both, then draw your own conclusions.”
“Interview them on what, though?”
“I can’t give you all the solutions now, can I?”
“Booooo. Maybe I should do an analysis on what music genres or acts people are most entertained by. I just might finally step into that bar you always go to for a night.”
“That was… oddly specific. What do you know?”
“You’re looking at the list of acts scheduled for the open mic night, aren’t you? I saw the reflection of the screen through your glasses,” he smirks, “So you’re performing again Saturday?”
“This Thursday, actually.”
“So soon already? Did you miss the spotlight that much?”
Jay huffs, “Something like that. I prepared a song already, a cover from this Japanese artist I really like. I’ve been working hard on my pronunciation.”
“Sounds interesting. Do you care if I come and watch? After I conduct my interviews, of course.”
“You can do whatever you want. But don’t you have work that night?”
“I can call out. Once I say I have pink eye or something they won’t ask questions. I just really wanna come see you. Perform, that is.”
Jay lets his gaze linger on him for a moment, genuinely taken aback by his assertiveness. This guy really is unbelievable… “I haven’t even announced the extra credit to everyone else yet.”
Jungwon tilts his head to this side, grinning. “Consider it to be my headstart.”
✧˚📝 ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ
Thursday arrives, and the bar is buzzing with lively patrons and a jazz instrumental playing in the background. It’s dimly lit to give it that cozy feeling, yet for whatever reason Jay can’t seem to sit still. He's sitting in a booth across from Heeseung, a longtime friend that he invited, his leg bouncing up and down in anticipation.
“Getting stagefright?” Heeseung comments on his anxiousness. “Come on, you got this. You’ve performed plenty of times before.”
“I do not have stage fright.”
“Then why are you jittering around like a little bug?”
Jay sighs, “I invited someone, I just wanna make sure they spot me when they walk in, it’s their first time coming to something like this.”
“Oh? Is it a date?” Heeseung grins, raising his beer like it’s some sort of toast, “That’s my boy!”
“Calm down, it’s not a date. It’s just a student from one of my classes that’s coming to interview some people for an extra credit assignment I gave out.”
“A student? Is it the same one that was giving you trouble at the beginning of the semester?”
“The very same. He’s doing much better, I’ve been offering extra tutoring outside my normal office hours since he can’t make those. He isn’t at risk of failing anymore, but an extra few points to his midterm grade if he aces this project should give him the extra push he needs.” Glancing at the entrance Jay sees Jungwon coming in, speaking of the devil, “And won’t you look at that, he’s here.”
Jungwon’s quick to spot him and pushes past some people to get to their booth. Close behind him is a familiar face, a student he had previously taught.
“Professor,” Jungwon greets cheerfully as they approach.
“Hey,” Jay turns to his friend, “And Sunoo, right? I remember you in my class last year. Always sat in the front row. It’s good to see you again.”
“Nice to see you again, too, Mr. Park.”
“He’s one of my roommates,” Jungwon chimes in, “He’s the one that recommended I take your class.”
Sunoo shrugs playfully, “I offered to come with him, help with his interviews.”
“What a nice friend you are. In any case, I do hope you two also stick around for the show. I’m performing too, you know.”
“Duh. That’s the best part,” Jungwon beams.
Sunoo nods. “But first things first: we need some drinks. Are you coming with me, Won?”
“Hmm, I’ll meet you there in a sec.” When Sunoo disappears into the crowd, Jungwon slides in to sit beside Jay in the booth.
“Before I forget,” Jay gestures to the other side of the table, “Heeseung, this is Jungwon. Jungwon, meet Heeseung. He’s a longtime friend of mine.”
“Nice to meet you,” Heeseung raises his beer.
“Same here. I’ve actually heard a lot about you! Professor Park has mentioned you to me a couple of times.”
“Oh really? Did he mention my dashing good looks and god-tier personality?”
“Don’t answer him,” Jay kicks Heeseung under the table. “Anyways, Jungwon—how do you like the atmosphere here? Does it fit your tastes?”
“It’s very jazzy, I like it. I totally get why you love coming here a lot.”
“This is your first time coming to see him sing, right? You won’t be disappointed, this guy right here is crazy talented. He has the voice of a rockstar and not to mention, his guitar fingering goes crazy—”
“Please stop talking…” Jay interjects.
Jungwon giggles, “I’ve heard him sing before, kinda. His voice is sweet,” he compliments. “I can’t wait to see him on stage, more exciting than this damn assignment.”
“An extra credit assignment that you begged for, mind you.”
“Hey, I don’t beg,” Jungwon leans slightly closer with a teasing smile, “You simply agreed out of the kindness of your own heart. Admit it, you have a soft spot for me.”
“…Perhaps.” For a brief moment the words hung between them, and the chatter around them faded into the background. Slowly, Jay brings his beer can to his lips to hide his laugh, being the first to look away from the heavy eye contact.
“Anyways… I should go check on Sunoo. Make sure he orders me something good.” Jungwon announces as he gets up from the booth. He puts his hand on Jay’s shoulder, “Good luck on stage, I’m sure you’ll do great.”
“…Thanks.”
Jungwon briefly pats his shoulder before leaving, and once he’s lost sight of him Jay decides to down the rest of his can, crushing it with his fist once there’s nothing left. Across the table, he notices Heeseung staring at him strangely, “…What?”
Heeseung gave him a disapproving look, “Jongseong… you can’t be serious. He’s your student, man.”
The vagueness is slowly irritating him, “What on earth are you talking about?”
“Jungwon, was it? He was totally giving you the ‘fuck me’ eyes. He was flirting, and you were def entertaining it.”
“He was absolutely not looking at me like that. And we weren’t flirting—I don’t even know how to flirt.”
Heeseung scoffs, “You think I was born yesterday? I saw that look you gave him before he left. You’re into him.”
“I’m telling you, it’s not like that—”
“So you’re telling me nothing has happened between you guys, ever? Not even during those private tutoring lessons you’ve been offering?”
“Nothing at all. You’re reading too much into what is a friendly conversation.”
Heeseung doesn’t seem too convinced. “Fine. Just… be careful, alright? He’s cute, he’s fun, I get it. But it isn’t worth risking your career over it. Just some advice.”
“I don’t need it because what you think is happening here isn’t true,” Jay mutters under his breath. Thankfully the topic is dropped, as both Jake and Sunghoon finally show up and their shenanigans take center stage. Jungwon doesn’t return either, which Jay is kind of grateful for, only so he doesn’t have to endure anymore of Heeseung's judgment. Jay knows in his heart that nothing's going on between him and Jungwon, so why is it that he still feels guilty?
The performances soon begin, and it does its job of taking Jay’s mind off it. A variety of acts have gone on stage, a jazz singer, a poet, a pianist; all of them wonderful. After the first thirty minutes the host announced Jay’s name, and with his guitar on his back he took the stage.
“Hello, everyone,” he speaks into the standing microphone, adjusting its level. Tonight I’ll be covering the song, HONEY by L’Arc-en-Ciel. Hope you like it.”
✧˚📝 ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ
Safe to say his performance was a success, if he does say so himself.
Besides his rowdy friends who celebrated the loudest, once all performances finished a couple of audience members approached Jay to congratulate him.
After another round of drinks, Jake abruptly stands. “I’m gonna go piss. Be right back.”
“I’ll go with,” Sunghoon soon follows.
Jay sees Heeseung get up too, and raises a questioning brow, “You need the bathroom, too?”
“Nah,” he gestures towards the bar, “I’m gonna order some fries. Want anything? My treat.”
Eating on someone else’s dime? Sign him up. “Buy a big platter, we can split it.” Heeseung nods and leaves. Jay is left drinking alone at the booth once Heeseung leaves, feeling a bit buzzed and high on the adrenaline of his performance.
“You’re very popular tonight.”
The sound of the familiar voice causes him to turn his head, and he’s met face to face with none other than Jungwon who stands by his booth with a smirk. He chuckles, “You were watching our table?”
“Naturally.” Jungwon reclaims his seat beside him, “Your performance was amazing, by the way. I mean, I already had a feeling you were good, but you were really good. The audience too, they were practically all over you.”
Jay laughs, feeling warmth slowly creep into his cheeks. “I hope you’re not flattering me just because of the extra credit.”
“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not,” he jests. “But I meant it. Your singing was incredible.”
Jay sips his drink as a way to hide his smile. He quickly changes the subject, “Where’s Sunoo, by the way?”
“Oh, he went home early, he had homework. I told you, he tagged along just to help with the interviews… and because I didn’t wanna come alone. Once that was over he just decided to go. I could’ve gone with him but… I wanted to stay a little longer.”
“Well, my friends and I are planning to stick around a while longer too,” Jay begins, tracing the rim of his can with his index, “You’re more than welcome to hang with us.”
Jungwon smiles softly, “I’d love to.”
The next hour and half was spent with the whole group drifting from one conversation to the next. Jungwon blended in well with the group, one would think that they’ve all known each for years the way the interactions had been so seamless.
As the night went on, people started filtering out once all the performances were out of the way, including their group one by one. Everyone offered their goodbyes, except Jay and Jungwon who were the only two left. Jay nursed some kind of martini and Jungwon had a spiked soda with a bright red cherry garnish. They engaged in lively conversation, talking about anything and everything.
A friendly interaction between friends, completely normal. Nothing strange about it.
Jungwon sips from his drink, “Your first name is Jongseong, right?”
“Right. Only family really calls me that, though. Usually I just go by Jay.”
“Jay,” Jungwon tests the name for himself. “Professor Jay. Mr. Jay. JayJay—”
“You’re pushing it.”
“Okay, just Jay,” he rests his chin in his palm, “I guess when they announced you to come on stage they called you Jay Park. But why that name? Are you like, one of those wannabe Americans?”
“I am American.”
“Oh my god, you’re Wasian?”
“No, silly. I was born there but moved to Korea when I was 10.”
“I learn something new about you everyday,” Jungwon says with awe, “So does this mean you know English?”
“I’m fluent.” To prove it, Jay introduces himself in English, watching Jungwon light up in excitement.
“Yeah, definitely American. I can hear the accent,” he muses. “So that’s like what, three languages that you can speak?”
“And counting.”
“You’re gonna learn more? Show off,” he lightly nudges Jay’s side. “So. I came to a performance of yours, would you ever come to one of mine?”
Rarely does Jay ever attend the student-led events on campus, but he wouldn’t mind coming to see Jungwon perform. “Of course, I’d be interested. When's the next show?”
“After midterms, right after we come back from break. It’s a competition, and this is probably our best routine we’ve done yet so trust me when I say you won’t wanna miss it. I’ll text you the flyer.” Phone already in hand Jungwon immediately goes to text Jay the details. In no time the message soon pops up on Jay’s cell, and opening it he’s met with a mediocrely-designed dance competition poster.
It seems to be a mafia style theme, that should be interesting. “I’m excited for the competition but at the same time I’m worried. Our team has beef with the team that’s hosting, but for years we’ve always attended each other's events just for formalities. I got into a fight with their president once, and I almost got disciplinary probation. It was a whole thing.”
“What in the hell would you guys be fighting about?”
“Tch, don’t get me started. That team sometimes steals our choreo from old routines, and when we call them out on it they become ignorant and act like we’re the crazy ones,” he explains with budding irritation. “I helped make the shit, I think I would notice if someone copied us bar for bar.” Suddenly he grabs Jay’s shoulder, “Come to think of it, you’ve never seen me dance, have you?”
“I’ve actually watched a couple of your team’s performance videos that were posted to YouTube,” Jay admits. Based on their conversations it was clear how important dance was to Jungwon, the boy talks about it all the time. One night Jay got curious and watched some old videos, “You guys are really good, especially you.” Truthfully, he was only ever really focused on Jungwon in those videos, that’s how much he stood out to him.
“You’re kidding. Which videos have you watched?” Jungwon scoots closer, turning his phone horizontal and opening up YouTube so they can watch. Together they go down a rabbit hole of videos the dance team had posted in the past few years.
“This video is my first performance ever with the team, back when I was a freshman,” Jungwon tells him, “I remember that they tried to incorporate some acrobat shit in the routine and they asked if I could be one of the fliers. I have no experience in that but I said yes anyway, and the moment we tried it out for the first time I strained my ankle. The president had to carry me all the way back to the dorm.” He laughs to himself and his smile softens, “Ah, memories… I still can’t believe that I’m graduating in just a few months. It was like just yesterday I was eighteen and youthful.”
“Time certainly does fly. But hey, you’re still young.”
“You’re right. I should still be glad that my age doesn’t begin with a 3.”
“You never miss a chance to take a jab at my age, do you?”
“Honestly? The jokes write themselves, it’s so easy,” he ends with a laugh. As his laugh mellows out, he looks to Jay with gratitude. “Tonight was fun, thank you for inviting me.”
“Thank you for coming.”
Jungwon smiles, and quickly finishes the rest of his drink. “You know… You’re different when you’re outside the classroom. In class, you’re strict, maybe sometimes coming off as pretentious, but it’s still clear as day that you care. When you’re not in professor mode, you’re way more relaxed, maybe even easier to approach. To be honest, on the first day of classes I was so ready to rate you a one star online because I didn’t like your attitude when I raised my hand. Even the day you emailed me about me being at risk of failing, my heart practically dropped to my ass at the thought of confronting you face to face. Now that I know you for real, I can't believe that there was once a time I was afraid of you. And never in a million years did I think I'd have a chance of passing this class if not for your intervention. You have no idea how grateful I am, professor.”
“Just Jay,” he corrects, playfully bumping their shoulders. “It’s just us, no need for formalities.”
“You seriously have no idea how grateful I am, Jay,” he repeats.
Hearing Jungwon say his name sends a dangerous shiver down his spine. It’s just a name, there’s no reason for him to react so strongly about it, but when Jungwon says it, it’s different. It feels more personal.
They’re sitting side by side, shoulder to shoulder, and knees centimeters apart. Jay’s eyes accidentally flicker down to Jungwon’s lips, plump and a little red from the cherry he ate. Briefly, Jay wonders if his lips now taste like cherry too.
“Is it bad that I kinda don’t want this night to end…?” Jungwon expresses in a hushed tone. “I had a lot of fun just talking with you.”
Jay also enjoyed talking with him, he could listen to Jungwon talk for hours if he could. Jungwon has this charm to him, every time he opens his mouth to speak or when he looks at Jay with those eyes, he can’t help but be drawn to him.
Jay’s stomach twists with guilt, he shouldn’t be having these kinds of thoughts about his student. Heeseung caught him in his lie, and all night Jay had been trying to prove him wrong. But under these warm amber lights, jazzy music setting the mood just right, and minimal space between them, it’s tough trying to ignore the intrusive thoughts.
“It’s getting late… we should still probably head out now.” Jay wills himself to get up, effectively breaking out of his trance the moment he turns his back. “Come, I’ll drive you home.”
Obediently Jungwon follows, Jay chivalrously holding the door open for him. Walking side by side they head to where Jay’s parked, and a chilly spring breeze brushes past them.
Jay notices Jungwon shivering, and only now does he realize that the boy isn’t wearing any outerwear. “Are you cold?”
Jungwon nods, “A little. The weather is so bipolar around this time of year, you’d think it’d be warmer by now.”
“You should always walk around with a light jacket or even a sweater, just in case.” Jay stops to slip off his faux leather jacket and drapes it around Jungwon’s shoulders. His jacket looks oversized on him, but other than that it matches Jungwon's simplistic look very well. Jungwon sheepishly gives him thanks.
Jay’s hands move to straighten the jacket’s collar, “Looks like it was made for you, it sort of matches your outfit, in a way.”
“Does it really?”
“Mhm.” His hands linger on Jungwon’s shoulders, “…Do you feel warmer now?”
Jungwon tilts his head up, “Much warmer.”
“You sure?” Jay asks for reassurance. His hands slide down Jungwon’s shoulders, resting a little below his arms. Another breeze passes them, and again Jay’s gaze drifted downward to stare at his lips.
Jungwon obviously notices, and instead of berating him or running away like any sane person would in this kind of situation, he steps closer, as if welcoming Jay’s touch.
Jay shivers, but not because of the cold.
Jungwon’s beautiful, especially with his big and brown feline eyes that makes Jay weak in the knees. Without thinking he pulls Jungwon by his waist and indulges himself in a kiss. His skin buzzed with excitement, Jungwon tasted just like cherries, just like he had hoped.
The kiss was short, and once the initial high wore off Jay quickly came to his senses and moved away, regretting everything. “Oh, God, what the hell am I doing?” He berates himself, covering his mouth in shock. “I’m so sorry—I shouldn’t have done that.”
“W-Wait, it’s okay. Don’t apologize,” Jungwon tries reeling him in, cupping his cheek and gently forcing him to face him again. “It’s okay.”
“Jungwon—”
“…I liked it.” Jungwon admits, with no ounce of hesitation in his eyes. Jay stares at him like he’s crazy, wondering if Jungwon even knows the weight of his words. “I’ve been looking at you in a certain way for a while now… seems you have too.” He leans in, whispering, “…I don’t mind it.”
Jungwon presses a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth, letting his lips linger to prolong the contact. Hypnotized Jay turns his face for a proper kiss, both their lips fitting perfectly against one another. His hands fit snug around Jungwon’s waist, grip tightening as he's completely magnetized by the boy in front of him.
But he doesn’t mind it.
Still, the rational side of his brain that knows this is wrong takes over, and again he pulls back. “No, no, we can’t—we’re outside.”
Jungwon’s arms circle around his middle, slowly caressing the small of his back and seducing him with a single look, “…In the car, then?”
Jay doesn't answer, only exhales.
He doesn’t mind it.
✧˚📝 ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ
Statistics show that on average people fall in love about two times in their lifetime. Jay was once in love, so much that he proposed to her, but was dumped not even two months after they were engaged.
There was never a second love, not yet, but if he continues making not-so smart decisions, he just might.
Jay has many degrees, even a PhD, but having a degree doesn’t necessarily prove you're smart. If Jay really were smart, he wouldn’t have taken Jungwon back to his car. He also wouldn’t make out with him in the backseat of said car, or have his hands halfway up Jungwon’s shirt.
Jungwon’s kisses were like honey; they’re sweet and easy to be stuck on. By now Jay's sure his lips are swollen from how long they’ve been at it, and bruised from the many times Jungwon nipped his lips on accident.
Jay hasn’t behaved this frivolously since his early relationship days with his ex, but here he is fogging up the car windows because he's selfish and can’t keep his hands to himself.
Tomorrow he’ll feel the shame and guilt, but right now he relishes in the sight below him: Jungwon with messy hair and wide eyes breathing heavily after making sweet sounds just seconds prior, somehow looking even more beautiful than he already was.
Beautiful, purplish hickeys decorated the left side of Jungwon’s neck. Jay admits he got carried away, but Jungwon’s moans were so pretty to hear as he demanded more and more. Every sound went straight to his dick, begging for some sort of relief.
Jay’s phone ringtone annoyingly blares out loud, ruining the mirage. He digs for it out of his pocket, wondering who the hell could be bothering him now of all times. Sunghoon’s name flashes across the screen, and he mutters a curse before answering, “What—what do you want?”
“Hey, you don’t perchance happen to still be at the bar, would you?”
“Why are you asking? I thought you left with Jake?”
“I did, but a friend called me up and said I should pull up to the bar he was at so I went. We had a couple of shots and—yeah, you get the deal. If you’re still in the area do you mind giving me a ride home? Oh, I think I see your car.”
“What?” Jay scrambles off Jungwon, quickly telling him to fix up his shirt and hair. He does the same, hurries out of the car and grabs his jacket that had been discarded on the floor the moment they got in the backseat. Jay ties it around his waist to hide his hard-on before frantically searching around for Sunghoon. “Where are you now?”
“Across the street.”
Jay looks ahead and sees him almost get run over by a car when jogging across the street. Sunghoon ends the calls as he approaches, a dopey grin spread across his face as he gives Jay a big hug with a strong pat on his back. “‘Preciate you, brother.”
Jay opens the door to the driver's seat, praying to every God that exists that Jungwon is decent. He sighs in relief when he sees him sitting casually on his phone like nothing was amiss, and that the side of the neck Jay had kissed was hidden from view.
Sunghoon sits in the passenger side, letting out a little sound of surprise when he notices Jungwon in the back. He twists his body to greet him, “Oh, hey.”
Jungwon awkwardly waves back.
Jay clears his throat, “I was also going to drive him home, so you’ll be here for a while.”
Sunghoon hums, and leans back comfortably in his seat. “That’s fine, I was just about to nap anyway.”
It's good that Sunghoon soon dozes off, Jay doesn't think he could handle a conversation now considering what happened before Sunghoon interrupted. Maybe it’s a sign from above that Sunghoon did, it was exactly what Jay needed to snap out of Jungwon’s spell, otherwise there's no telling how far they would’ve gone.
When Jay pulls up in front of Jungwon’s house, there’s no dimpled smile wishing him goodbye, just a quiet ‘thanks’ that was barely audible as he exits the car.
The sound of the door slamming shut wakes Sunghoon up, “Did we arrive yet?” he asks, rubbing his tired eyes.
“To your place? Nah, I just dropped Jungwon off.”
“Right, right…” he nods along, understanding. “That’s the kid you private tutor, right? He stayed out this late just to talk to you? I can’t imagine that talking about homework is that fun.”
Jay rolls his eyes, “Go back to sleep.”
Later on when Jay finally got home after dropping Sunghoon off he hopped in the shower, replaying the events of the night while standing underneath the running shower head. The night started out fun, he enjoyed hanging out and joking with his friends. Tonight was the most fun Jay’s had in ages, and Jungwon being there was a plus.
Jay knew what he was doing, there’s no alcohol to blame his actions on and even then that isn’t an excuse. He knew he was attracted to Jungwon, Heeseung even called him out on it, but he still kept Jungwon close and gave in to his desires. Just the image of Jungwon looking spaced out under him has blood rushing to his dick again.
He touches himself to the memory of Jungwon’s face, the visual so clear in his mind as well as how pretty he sounded when Jay felt up his abdomen and kissed his neck sensually.
When he finished Jay felt immense guilt, he can’t let this happen again. Before bed he shoots Jungwon a quick text, asking him to meet after class on Monday.
The rest of Jay’s weekend passes uneventfully, and when Monday arrives he teaches like normal. Throughout the lecture he avoided Jungwon’s gaze like the plague, knowing he’d lose his train of thought like a dummy the moment their eyes met.
When class ends Jungwon stays seated whereas everyone else gets up to go to their next class. It isn’t until the whole room is cleared out besides them that Jungwon finally gets up and makes his way down to the podium. “I got your message.”
Jay looks at him once over, taking notice of the large hood over his head that coincidentally hides the marks from last night. “Thank you for coming. I know you have to leave soon to catch the bus, so I’ll make our meeting brief.”
“Is this about Thursday?” Jungwon asks prematurely, “I had a great time with you. Actually, I haven’t had that much fun talking to someone in a while. I’m sorry if I seemed off when I said goodbye, I just didn’t know how to react considering your friend was there.”
Hearing him say that makes Jay's heart ache, mourning what could’ve been had not for the circumstances.
“I had a wonderful time talking with you, too. It’s never a dull moment when with you. But… there is something else I wanted to discuss.” He takes a deep breath, “I want to apologize for my behavior after we left the bar. It was incredibly inappropriate of me to kiss you, and invite you to my car to—”
“Wait, why are you apologizing…? I wanted it. We both wanted it.” Jungwon places his hand on top of his, gently caressing with his thumb. “I can’t stop thinking about you… I like you.”
Jay stares at their joint hands with a pained expression before taking his away. “I am your teacher and you are my student—what happened should've never happened. I knew better, and I should’ve disengaged when I realized things were heading in that direction.”
“Okay… so what? Sure, dating your student is taboo, but there’s worse crimes out there! Plus I’m twenty two, not a fucking teenager.”
“That’s not the point.”
“So what is the point?” Jungwon counters, “…Or is it simply because you just don’t want me?”
“…Forgive me, Jungwon, if I have led you on and given you false hope. Whatever is happening between us… it will not continue. I’m sorry.”
Jay watches in real time how his expression changes from a mix of confusion and hurt, to anger and frustration. He’s never seen this side of him before, too used to his bright smiles and giggles when they’re together.
Wordlessly, Jungwon makes a noise of disgust and turns his back on him, before storming out of the lecture hall.
📓‧₊˚ ⋅✧✏️๋࣭ ⭑