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Lucifer did not show weakness. He was the king of hell! He was the strongest being down here. But the news coming out that he was unable to harm a single sinner down here was a huge blow. Something that definitely took away from his authority. Made anyone believe they could do as they pleased, and experience no consequences.
That was how he ended up in this not so convenient situation. Arms splayed out above him, bound by steel not even he could break, and legs forced open. And if being stuck in this damn box wasn’t enough? He had his absolute nemesis right across the room from him, laughing at his expense, like he wasn’t in an arguably worse situation.
“I did this myself, while you, dear, got yourself trapped out of your own stupidity!” Alastor had said when he’d attempted to argue his case, and Lucifer hated that it was true. He had been stupid. He’d believed that Charlie wanted to make up, in some dingy warehouse of all places, and followed her word without question. Of course it wasn’t Charlie. Why would it be? If he was honest he didn’t even know Vox had the ability to impersonate others, but he was a TV, perhaps he should’ve guessed. Been more wary. But he was a moron, and now Alastor was there to laugh at him. In fact the laughing had hardly died down for even a moment even hours into his entrapment, hours that felt like years. And the worst part was that he had no idea how long Vox planned on keeping him here.
At least the media overlord had left the room. Lucifer had no means of escape and due to his and Alastor’s deal, the radio demon couldn’t break out even if he wanted to. Although, he would much rather deal with Vox right then than Alastor.
Especially when a distinct pressure made itself known in his abdomen. Another inevitable consequence of his own stupidity. But one that he wasn’t willing to accept, or even acknowledge.
He attempted to sleep through it, which would have been just fine if he didn’t have Alastor yapping his ear off every few seconds, not letting him shut his eyes for more than a second before he was throwing jabs, and for once Lucifer didn’t have the energy to retaliate. Not when his body was aching so much. Not when there were wires stabbing into his body periodically, no doubt collecting his blood for this strange mechanism Vox had invented.
In conclusion, Lucifer soon took sleep out of the question, and opened his eyes to glare at Alastor.
”Do you EVER shut up? We’re both trapped here, y’know! Even if you chose this, or whatever, you can’t poke fun at my position when you’re in the exact same one!”
It was the first time Lucifer had retaliated in hours, and Alastor was almost taken aback, smile creasing at the corners into a little smirk as he threw one leg over the other.
”I’m simply trying to cure the boredom of us both being held hostage. There isn’t particularly anything either of us can do, except hold a conversation. But that’s just far too difficult for you, isn’t it? How pathetic. I’m sure Charlie would love to hear of the position you’re in right now. It’s just too bad she isn’t here to see this!”
A cackle escaped him, and Lucifer only got more aggravated at the mention of his daughter, horns sprouting and tail flicking behind him as he glared at Alastor. But he couldn’t do anything. Alastor wasn’t scared, he wouldn’t be even if he had the ability to physically harm him. He was trapped, with no escape.
So Lucifer gave in and sighed.
”This sucks. This actually fucking sucks.”
There was a slight shift in his posture, legs attempting to press closer to each other to soothe the unmistakable pressure which was rapidly getting worse the more stressed he became. If it was possible to ignore before, it was now at the forefront of his mind.
This was Alastor’s fault. Somehow. He had to find a way to put the blame on anybody but himself, too humiliated to admit that it was his foolish actions that caused this. And with no knowledge of when this would end, the smart thing to do would just be to let go on purpose. Vox would never let him out for a bathroom break. At least if it was on purpose he wouldn’t have to deal with the humiliation of Alastor knowing just how desperate he was soon to become. He could simply play it off.
But Lucifer was on a streak of stupid actions today.
Despite that thought in the back of his head, he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. Instead, choosing to wait this out. Maybe Vox planned on carrying out the invasion on heaven far sooner than he expected? Maybe it was tonight? If that was the case, surely he could wait that long. Then he could get out, go to an actual bathroom rather than being stuck at Alastor’s side. Speaking of, Alastor had finally gone quiet, and Lucifer breathed a sigh of relief knowing that at least that infuriating voice wasn’t there to bother him any longer.
He soon came to realise though, that the voice was the only thing keeping him from losing his mind. An hour into the silence, Lucifer spoke up, urgency most definitely far worse than before, a pressure impossible to ignore.
“So uh… Did Vox mention anything about when he planned to- y’know, carry this out? Take over heaven, all that jazz?”
It was Alastor that scowled this time, almost like he’d been lost in very serious thought and Lucifer just distracted him from it. But he opened his eyes to glance at the king.
”I believe tomorrow is the planned date. I’m unsure of the time, although I suppose Vox will want to get this done as soon as possible, so if I have to guess it will be morning. He could easily wait until the night, though.”
That made a panic spike, a shiver running down Lucifer’s spine. There was no way Lucifer could hold out that long. He was already at the stage that he would be searching for a restroom if he were in public, or returning home to use his own. This was the stage he would consider desperate. Though it was most definitely made worse by his inability to move, to close his legs, to squirm more than the slightest bit. And yet even that slightest bit was picked up by Alastor who raised a suspicious brow. One that had Lucifer resigning.
“Fuck, this sucks! I have to piss. Real bad. What the fuck do you do when this happens to you?! You’ve been trapped here too!”
The question had a high pitched static erupting from him for a moment, and he glared.
“I would prefer not to talk about my bodily functions, thank you.” With a sigh, he tipped his head back. “Though, Vox typically lets me go.” That… was a blatant lie. In fact, the first day Alastor had been trapped, he was far too prideful to admit he had to use the bathroom in the first place, until Vox noticed himself, and took the next hour to tease him about it until Alastor pissed himself. The only times Vox had actually let Alastor have a bathroom break was when he was too busy to tease him for it, and far too busy to clean up a mess. “…However I don’t believe he plans on allowing you out of that contraption until his plan has been completed. I do not want to deal with the stench of urine, however, so I would appreciate it if you waited.”
Lucifer’s irritation hit an all time high, a growl emerging from his throat. “I have been waiting! For hours!” He shifted again, his body beginning to shake from the position, one that was definitely doing him no favours of keeping it in. “I don’t think I can hold it much longer.” That was all he was going to say. Alastor couldn’t surely think he was going to be able to wait this out all night, and possibly until the following evening, when he had already been trapped here for hours. It was impossible. A completely unreasonable request.
But then he noticed a shift in Alastor’s posture as well.
One that left no question that Alastor was in the same situation as he was. The way his legs were tightly crossed, his hands gripping at the fabric of his pants, and his ears were twitching. Oh fuck, Alastor actually had to piss. This was amazing. If he got to witness the radio demon losing control so pathetically, he would have blackmail for the rest of eternity.
Except… Alastor was going to have the exact same blackmail against him pretty soon. And at least the deer could shift. He could cross his legs, squirm in the chair. Lucifer was stuck with his arms above his head and his legs spread wide open, and there was no hope of moving even an inch like this.
Fuck, he was going to piss himself.
Now his goal was purely to wait it out longer than Alastor. Which.. was most definitely unrealistic. He only just noticed Alastor shift at all, so he had no doubt that he wasn’t nearly as desperate. Unless Alastor was incredible at maintaining composure.
The both fell into silence once more, both men shifting in their restraints, both knowing what was going to happen but refusing to admit it to themselves or each other. It was another hour into this torment that something happened.
Alastor’s ears perked upwards, eyes darting open in a sudden panic as his entire body tensed. And then there was a hiss, followed by the sound of liquid dripping onto cold tiles. When Lucifer’s eyes darted back to him, he saw the way his smile was wavering, ears flat to his head and entire body trembling. He looked… weak. To the point he almost felt bad.
“Woah! Hey, it- uh. It’s fine! I-It was bound to happen-“ Instead of teasing, he attempted to console, all while Alastor was still pissing. He must’ve been holding it for a damn long time, considering the flow didn’t stop for at least a minute. And that minute was torture for the fallen angel struggling across the room.
Midway through his attempt at comfort, Lucifer’s body shifted again, hips buckling in a last ditch effort to wait just a minute longer. Hearing and seeing Alastor get the relief that Lucifer so desperately needed was too much for him to take, and a spurt escaped him, eyes darting open.
”Fuck, no-“ he gasped, squirming against his binds, trying to free his hands but the attempt was useless.
His body gave up, falling limp as the dam broke and the floodgates opened, piss flowing out of him like a damn fire hose. A quiet moan of relief escaped just from being able to release the pressure that had been torturing him for hours, and he simply gave in. Now they were both in the same situation, it was far less humiliating.
Once Lucifer finished, his eyes opened to stare at Alastor, whose pupils were blown and hair dishevelled.
“We will never speak of this again.” He growled, eyes narrow as he glared at Lucifer, who simply barked out a laugh.
”Right… Yeah. Never again. Hah… fuck, we’re so stupid.”
It was Alastor’s turn to breathe out a chuckle, one that had Lucifer’s cheeks heating up. “I suppose we are, aren’t we?”
The two shared a small smile, not teasing, not condescending. For the first time they were getting along. And it was because of some damn piss. How ridiculous. But neither could complain. Not until Vox stormed back in and looked between the two of them, eye twitching.
”Fuck me. You’re both losers. Oh my Satan, I’m not cleaning this shit!” He announced, crossing his arms in agitation before storming right back out. And despite both Lucifer and Alastor being infuriated and humiliated at Vox’s mere presence, neither could help laughing. And for the first time, Lucifer felt a spark between them. Something he never expected to happen for anyone but Lilith. Especially not Alastor.
And… he wasn’t upset about it.
”I think some sleep is in order.” Lucifer chuckled, and Alastor simply hummed, eyes already closing.
”Goodnight, dear.”
”Yeah.. night, Al.”