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“Talk to him, Taehyung-ah.” Yoongi suggests.
Yoongi, is one of Taehyung's best friends, someone like a brother who had always looked out for him since high school days. Taehyung was a freshman at the time and Yoongi was a junior when they first met. He told Taehyung he thought he was cool and that if he ever ran into trouble that he could always come to him about anything.
With the permission of the opportunity, Taehyung never hesitated to use it when he got the chance. Even after Yoongi graduated, he’d always call and ask for advice and there was no space for feeling silly about it. A year later Taehyung had met someone else, a new junior to look up to. Namjoon. When Yoongi wasn’t there, it was Namjoon who had taken care of him. They met in P.E. and although that had been the only period they had together, they clicked instantly.
Sometimes on the weekend they would hang out and oftentimes Taehyung would invite Yoongi along as well. Good thing Namjoon and Yoongi were friends prior to meeting Taehyung so that made their meet ups feel more at ease. During Taehyung’s sophomore year he had grown a liking for a classmate. They never really talked but Taehyung, at the time, thought a crush was on the rise. Ever since hearing his name for the first time he never forgot it.
Park Jimin.
Jimin was a good student with many friends who only spoke highly of him. Taehyung envied that. Not so much the making friends part, he had no trouble with that but so much more the people who were friends of his.
He was pretty, too ethereal to be human Taehyung had thought. His features were so small—well most of them. Hair a lovely shade of hazel, sharp eyes, cute button nose and soft plump lips. His physique built like the gods took their time to sculpt his every detail. Taehyung thought he had a very nice body overall and though it’s not on purpose, not all the time, at least, from glancing—not staring—glancing, Jimin’s butt sat perfectly in any pair of pants he wore. He was the whole package in Taehyung’s eyes.
And despite Jimin’s petite features, he had a colossal amount of aura. His confidence practically oozes off of him. He was effortlessly radiant and unapologetically himself which Taehyung found attractive.
There are days where he wanted to say something, start a conversation with him but had been too shy so he backed down. Instead he does what any teenager would do, write his thoughts and feelings down in a diary. Actually overtime it formed into a diary, at first, he used to write little notes in his notebook that shared its ink along with class work but then was smart enough to get a separate notebook to fully fledge out his thoughts.
One day, Jimin eventually came up to him in class and that was the first time Taehyung had ever heard his own heart beating in his ears. A person whom he had admired from a distance was standing before him, greeting him with such a warm smile and there had been an expression that read as if Jimin was waiting for a response from Taehyung and when he realized, he finally said something.
Jimin told him how he noticed he always sat by himself and Taehyung explained how he was just a private person, not really one to mingle too much unless he felt comfortable enough. Luckily, Jimin made him feel at ease for a first time interaction. Over the months they’ve spent a more friendlier amount of time around each other. Jimin introduced him to more of his friends and those friends also became Taehyung’s after a while.
If they were being honest, they envied how much attention Taehyung took Jimin’s attention away from them. Jimin would always have plans with his friend group but after some time, he’d come to enjoy Taehyung’s company a little more, especially since Taehyung wasn’t too keen on big group settings.
Sometimes they’d hang out at an arcade after school and there had been a few times Taehyung invited Jimin on his usual meet ups with Namjoon and Yoongi. On the nights, Jimin wasn’t present, Both of them would tease him. Talk about the way Taehyung looked at Jimin and how his smile and laugh was noticeably different when he was around. Taehyung admitted they were right and gushed on about how charming Jimin was.
They’re meetups turned from advice in school to advice in a crush. Like “how to be normal” or “how to confess you like them without scaring them” and they’re response being something like “it’s not easy.”
Taehyung would roll his eyes at it but another idea was brought up. The idea being, showing ways you like someone or letting them know you like them through little things.
There weren’t many ways for him to do so since Jimin and him were comfortable with one another and already at skinship level in their friendship. Nothing would be out of the ordinary so he thought of a more subtle but open way of doing it without it being obvious but that was after Jimin, one day caught him writing in his journal. Jimin’s head hovered over Taehyung’s shoulder and when Jimin asked him what he was writing, Taehyung’s heart felt like it dropped to his ass.
He closed his journal so fast and it was a good thing he never wrote names as he was afraid of something like this happening. Jimin asked him if he had a crush on someone and if that was who he was writing about at that moment and all Taehyung could do was nod but Jimin found that adorable.
So the idea was to share letters to his crush with Jimin since Jimin had no knowledge of it being him, it was easier than Taehyung thought it’d be. Sometimes they’d sit in the hallway by Jimin’s locker on their free time and Taehyung would show the little notes and letters he wrote to his crush with Jimin. Asking him if he’d think his crush would like it and Jimin would tell him if someone wrote to him the way Taehyung did to this mystery person, he’d be head over heels for them.
You’d think Taehyung would finally have his chance to confess and perhaps he does, but the fear of rejection and losing him as a friend scared him so he would keep them to himself.
After senior year, after they graduated, The time they had together was slowly but surely drifting away. They spent time together during the summer but that didn’t last long due to Jimin visiting his grandmother since he promised her he’d stay and spend some time with her before he left for college. Taehyung spent his time with his usual buddies. However, Yoongi and Namjoon didn’t really have much time to spend with him either with their busy schedules being in the way and Taehyung was understanding of it or at least tried to be.
The times where Namjoon and Yoongi didn’t have time, Jimin did. Jimin always had time, actually. Almost every night they would talk on the phone, sometimes until sunrise when they’re having their deep chats, sometimes when they’d decide to fall asleep together or simply just whenever.
As time went along and as summer was coming to an end, their nightly talks went from everyday to every week, from every week to maybe two or three times a month and then whenever they were available until it came to a full stop. College life got busy and anytime one of them were free the other wasn’t so naturally, they drifted apart.
At least Taehyung had Namjoon and Yoongi. Although Taehyung never ended up going to the same college as them and because theirs weren’t far, he could meet with them often. Jimin had been someone he buried in the back of his mind as the world spun.
until tonight.
Yoongi’s words replayed in his head even when Taehyung’s eyes found Jimin in the crowd.
“Talk to him, Taehyung-ah.”
He couldn’t muster up the courage to say anything to him even though it was his fault Jimin was here anyway. Long story short, a week prior to this he had been cleaning out the closet in his room and accidentally dropped a small box of papers that scattered all over the floor. They were his letters to Jimin back in high school and he had forgotten about them until recently. All of the memories of them had been coming back to him and even though it wasn’t his first time—he wished he could speak to him again.
Taehyung had a lightbulb above his head—an idea that could make their meetup possible. He wanted to throw a reunion party with old classmates from high school. Even some from college and Taehyung also grew to become a social butterfly so ‘friends of friends’ were welcomed.
Thankfully, Yoongi had a friend who was also a friend of Jimin’s. Hoseok was his name. He asked his hyung if he could reach out to Hoseok and ask him if he’d wanna come. It was such a risk—throwing a party in hopes of seeing someone who he lost connection with. He took it anyway though and somehow it worked in his favor.
Right now, Jimin was standing in the exact same room as him. Standing in his very own home. A crowd of people stands between them but Taehyung thinks the distance amongst them was safer. He thought Jimin was otherworldly before but he’s grown—changed. Good change.
His hair was blonde and much longer. He also seems to like wearing more revealing clothing now. Not skin revealing well to Taehyung’s knowledge but the shirt he was wearing was tight fitted, like it was hugging him from all round, like it didn’t mind helping to show off the detailed crevices of Jimin’s toned body. He also had tattoos or from what Taehyung could make out, a crescent moon sitting at the ends of his neck.
His smile was still the same. Of course it was. He’d be able to spot Jimin even if he were a thousand miles away. It was so distinct, even his laugh. He can’t really hear him well over the music but Jimin’s laugh was always one to remember. The music could never truly outweigh it.
Jimin’s aura skyrocketed since the last time Taehyung had seen him. He’s dazzling, glowing now more than ever. He couldn’t even hide it if he wanted to. He was just so captivating and that rang true surely because Taehyung didn’t even hear Namjoon calling out to him until a hand waved in front of him, blocking his view of Jimin.
“Tae? Are you listening?”
“What?”
“You keep staring at him. You gonna make a move or what?” Namjoon reminded him.
Taehyung gulps, wiping his sweaty hands against his jeans. He glances over at Jimin again before bringing his attention to his friends.
“He’s talking to someone—a friend maybe? I don’t know, he seems busy so I'll wait.”
“Until what?” Yoongi chimed in, folding his arms with an amused smile on his face. “Are you trying to miss your chance again?”
“No—I—I don’t know, It’s just—it’s been so long… where do I even start?” Taehyung pouts.
He’s nervous. It feels like his high school days all over again and the bridge between the years of not speaking didn’t help either. Thoughts roam his head.
Does Jimin even wanna talk to me? Will he remember me? Is this even worth it?
Namjoon sighs, placing a hand on Taehyung’s shoulder. “Listen to your heart. Whatever direction it guides you, go in it and let your words flow. I know you’re already good at that.” He tells him, referring to his written letters. His writing period.
Taehyung doesn’t write letters anymore really, not after Jimin but he was definitely still an excellent writer. That was a hobby he never stopped doing, even if it was for himself.
Taehyung bit the inside of his cheek. His friend was right. If only he had the confidence to just go for it.
“You know what, another drink should do the trick.” Taehyung shrugs.
“Absolutely not.” Yoongi says almost immediately after.
“I agree.” Namjoon says.
“What the hell? Why not?” Taehyung looks confused, almost offended.
“Have you seen yourself drunk, Tae?” Namjoon placed his hands on his hips.
Taehyung rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath “No but you guys have no problem reminding me all the time.”
Yoongi scoffs. “Don’t be a brat. You just become a mess that we have to babysit afterwards.”
“Guys please, I need this.” Taehyung whined. “I promise I won’t go over my limit, but I need a boost.”
Namjoon huffs his cheeks, shaking his head and then meeting eyes with Yoongi. They share the same thought which makes Yoongi let out a dragging sigh.
“Whatever. I’ll spare you tonight. Just don’t overdo it, okay?”
A big boxy smile grew on Taehyung’s face. He knew they wouldn’t be able to say no to him and that he’ll always get his way. He asked them to grab him a cup and that he’d be right back because there was something he had to grab. After Making his way upstairs to his room, he heads in the direction of the little box that held the treasures of his heart poured on paper being held captive just on the other side of it.
He didn’t waste time digging through it and grabbed one of the letters. It didn’t matter which one because all of them were just a different way of expressing the same thing, to him at least. After stuffing it in his jean pocket, he made his way back down to where his friends stood at the area in the kitchen where the drinks were.
Time passed and the night moved along. Taehyung was on his fifth? sixth cup? He wasn’t counting, didn’t care either. At that point, Namjoon and Yoongi left him to go mingle with some old classmates. He had become something like a wallflower. Not intentionally. The drinks just became his companion for the night. Jimin was nowhere to be found whenever he scanned the room and that made him feel even more nervous.
Taehyung knows he didn’t leave because that friend of his, Hoseok, was still here, mingling with another one of Jimin’s friends. Seokjin. That’s what he remembered the name being from what Yoongi told him.
There had been a few times where he’d look at the letter. Rereading it over and over and he forgot how cheesy it was but back then, this was one of the letters Jimin got to see. He remembered Jimin saying that if the letter was for him, he’d be head over heels. His plan was to give it to Jimin after they shared a chat, to finally confess that the letters weren’t just for anyone but to Jimin himself.
Taehyung has been smiling to himself over it and even though he was definitely drunk, he felt like he was finally ready to talk. The toxic drinks washed all of his fears and doubts away so he finally got the confidence to do it.
His vision was hazy but he still managed to look around the room, to search for the person who’s light was hard to dim. He felt like a lost puppy, searching for his owner. Despite Jimin being the most distinct in the crowd, he couldn’t find him. Where could he possibly be? Taehyung wondered how he’d be able to find him through all these people but then a light bulb goes off in his head and that’s when he gets an idea.
He climbed up on his kitchen island, stumbling almost losing his balance but caught himself to stand up properly. The view was definitely better from up here. He thinks he could find Jimin easier like this and he does. Of course he does. His eyes immediately land on the blonde. Jimin’s glow couldn’t ever be dim even in the brightest room. He had been surrounded by people, everyone coming up to greet him and talk to him as if he were some celebrity but this isn’t his first time.
Jimin’s always been approachable by others. Taehyung envies him. The same way He did back in high school. He’s watching from afar while others get close and talk to him, making him laugh with his eyes curving into two little crescents. He was having a good time, at least that’s what Taehyung could make out from where he was standing. Taehyung however was not.
He’s upset with himself. The night is coming closer to an end with each minute ticking by in a flash and he’d been wasting time procrastinating instead of what he even really threw this party for. There was another reason for it though. Jimin had a friend at his hip all night. This guy kept putting an arm around him and laughing with him. Sometimes even whispering in Jimin’s ear as he’s doing right now. Taehyung would be lying if he said he didn’t feel some type of jealousy and annoyance.
Was he allowed to feel that though? He and Jimin haven’t talked in years so what really gives him the right to feel this way? It’s a mix of envious and insecurity rinsing over him. The alcohol didn’t help with that either. It’s causing him more confusion than before even though he’d thought it’d help. His chest heaves, heartbeat picking up pace with each beat growing louder in his ears. He was running out of time and he couldn’t let it slip away from him—he couldn’t let Jimin slip away from him after all this time.
He does something. Something he felt like was right, something he did in the heat of the moment. His “heat of the moment” masked behind liquid courage, makes him do a thing he couldn’t take back.
“Park Jimin!”
His voice echoed through the room. The bass in his voice vibrated through everyone as if he were the thunder roaring in the rain. Everybody’s looking at him now. A couple of ‘what the hell’s’ and ‘what’s he doing?’ being said from the crowd of his peers but his eyes only stay on Jimin who finally meets his own. In all honesty, Taehyung sees no one but him at that moment.
There was a light above him, a spotlight befitting for him with the kitchen island underneath his feet as a stage.
The music that had been blasting suddenly fell to a hush. Jimin’s laugh gets quieter with it—comes to a full stop when he sees the man who had been calling his name. His brows knit in confusion. What was the meaning of this? He squints his eyes, hoping that’s what helps him see better. His face was recognizable but surely different, more sculpted and chiseled. His hair was slightly different too, half blonde at the back but nothing too crazy.
His attention lands elsewhere when someone speaks out loud. Jimin thinks this guy looks familiar too I mean of course he should be because these were his old schoolmates but he couldn’t put a finger on it until—
“Taehyung? What are you doing?” Namjoon calls out to him.
“Taehyung?” Jimin asked. It came out so fast that he almost cut Namjoon off. Taehyung as in his Taehyung? Taehyung whose presence he used to enjoy? Taehyung, who used to keep him up at night to talk about anything until they fell asleep, that Taehyung?
Taehyung gasps quietly, tears wanting to sit at the edge of his waterline. A familiar voice that never changed, calling his name for the first time in what felt like forever. He didn’t realize he was holding his breath until he swallowed down his heart beating in his throat. His breath shutters and his lips feel dry so he licks them before saying
“Yeah…I’ve been…wanting to talk to you all night.”
A slow smile grew on Jimin’s face. The idea and invitation of Taehyung wanting to speak to him makes him feel warm somehow. He shrugged his shoulders when he shook his head, a chuckle slipping through his words “I’ve been here the whole time, why didn’t you come up to me?”
“Everytime I wanted to, you were either gone or occupied… felt like I couldn’t get to you.” He chucked nasally. “You’re hard to approach, you know that?”
Jimin’s smile slowly dims. His expression shows discomfort and confusion now, especially knowing there were eyes on them, knowing that their conversation was more than just an “A,B” one. For the first time in his life he oddly felt small and out of place. His lips parted to speak as if he felt like he had to say something to deafen the silence but he didn’t know what to say or how to respond.
Namjoon cleared his throat to get his younger friend's attention, noticing the shift in the atmosphere “Taehyung, get down.” He spoke through gritted teeth. This was why he didn’t want him to drink. He knows Taehyung too well and how much of a mess he became because of it especially when his feelings got in the mix.
Taehyung ignores him, eyes still fixated on Jimin despite his obvious discomfort. Taehyung’s too drunk to notice though, at least right now but it was obvious for everyone else, especially his friend who held him tight with an arm around him.
Jungkook.
Jungkook was one of Jimin’s dearest friends, someone he met in college and they’re been inseparable since. He’s someone Jimin could rely on in times of trouble or even just to hang out with but either way, Jungkook would always have his back in anything and right now, he feels defensive over him. He could tell Jimin was uncomfortable so the best thing he could do for him in the moment was hold him tight and comfort him through touch.
Taehyung wasn’t too fond of it. I mean from the outside he kept asking himself who this guy was and what kind of person he was to Jimin. If anything, that's what spews the hint of anger in voice when he speaks.
“Do you know how hard it is to throw an entire reunion for one person?”
There were people mumbling and talking amongst themselves before but after what he said, everything fell silent. Only thing that could be heard was the sound of breathing—Jimin’s breathing. It was his turn to have the rhythmic drumming muscle inside his chest to speed up, making his chest heave. He looked around him briefly, sharing eye contact with a few, causing his cheeks to flush. He looked back at Taehyung, confusion slowly turning into disappointment.
“I don’t understand…” Jimin responded, voice sterner than before.
That’s when Taehyung realized what he said. That wasn’t supposed to come out of his mouth but it did. Now he can see that everybody’s eyes were truly on him—Jimin’s eyes were truly on him. He really did have a spotlight on him now and it seems that the liquid courage that was there before was slowly starting to fade away and that he was coming back to himself. Embarrassment flushes over him. He felt stuck, like someone glued his feet down. Frozen on top of the kitchen island, trapped and bound by his own foolishness, with years of unresolved feelings and a silly little love letter in his pocket.
The whole night being wasted away had gotten to him. He’s exhausted and frustrated, more with himself but at everything. Feelings he spent years holding in and couldn’t follow through with, even with a second chance in his face going to waste all because he couldn’t be courageous enough to just go and speak to Jimin like a normal human being—like an adult.
Taehyung sniffled, shaking his head when he shrugged his shoulders. “Whatever, Forget it.” He bends down to hop off the island and becomes leveled with everyone else. He wanted to walk away, to let his shame follow him but was stopped with a hand at his chest. Jimin’s palm pushing against him, firm and demanding to keep him there. He could tell Jimin was upset, more confused than upset but still.
“No! No you can’t just—you don’t get to just walk away.” Jimin tells him. “You obviously had a motive behind this so what the hell’s your problem?”
His voice is projecting in irritation and annoyance as he speaks. He's fed up. Why was his old high school friend acting out? There was no malice in their departure or at least he thought so. Sometimes people drift and unfortunately that happened for them but he couldn’t find the reason for the behavior Taehyung had been delivering.
Taehyung assumes with Jimin’s hand on him, that he should definitely be able to feel how hard his heart was beating. The floor was his but words couldn’t find a way to escape him. He looked between Jimin’s eyes, backing away so Jimin’s hand fell back to his own side. Where words weren’t possible, that letter in his pocket was. It’s right there. An available opportunity to conclude his fixation on his feelings for Jimin.
There was no room for pondering but he did contemplate in hesitation for a bit before pulling the letter out of its safety zone. It’s on display for everyone to see. Sitting right between his thumb and pointer finger. He lets a shaky breath escape him before unfolding the letter, releasing it from its own embrace.
The words are hazy but manageable to read in his state. He feels nauseous, a sinking sensation occupying his stomach. His hands shake in slight nervousness with the paper following the rhythm. Another exhale coming from him, only this one was quick and sharp.
Here goes nothing.
“Observing from afar, there’s a light that surrounds you. Must be why so many people are drawn to you.. even me.” Taehyung starts.
“Getting closer to you was even more thrilling…I think I grew another heart because of it. I kept thinking… to myself.. am I—“ He paused.
Hesitation took over him for a bit as he read the next line. He’s been reading this over and over all night but it was harder now, especially with eyes on him. However, he attempts to continue. The projection in his voice dying down now due to his nerves going haywire
“—Am I crazy for…. for…falling for you…. or are you just…..easy to love?”
Oh.
Jimin stopped breathing completely without realizing it. He couldn’t move or rather didn’t want to. Fixed in place as he glowered at Taehyung Incredulously. It’s hitting him. The familiarities of the words that were earlier mentioned. He’s definitely heard them before or seen them once when Taehyung showcased those love letters to him back then.
“Do you think my crush would like this?”
“Like? If it were me, I’d be head over heels.”
The conversation replayed in his head, a distant memory he kept in the pit, at the back of his mind coming forward.
He didn’t want to believe it but the scene before him had been dawning on him.
Oh..
This was really happening. His eyes are starting to burn, tears decorating his waterline. His throat tightened, feeling as if it’s closing in on him. Taehyung’s talking and Jimin hears him but he’s not listening. The baritone in his voice became a muffled static in the background as Jimin’s own thoughts took the foreground. The nerve. The gall. He couldn’t help but to cough out an exasperated airy chuckle, causing Taehyung’s voice to trail off into silence.
Taehyung’s head jolted upward, his attention snapping from the letter to the bitter chuckle. He sees the expression on the smaller man in front of him. It almost stings. He seems to be displeased and to be honest, had every right to be.
Jimin breaks the silence when he speaks, tumbling over his own words, trying his best to keep his composure and to keep himself grounded. “Why…why are you—why are you reading this to me?”
He blinks rapidly, as to keep the tears back. There had been a noticeable waver in his voice. It’s almost heartbreaking. This was not the reaction Taehyung intended but what’d become the outcome of his reality.
Whatever last bit of confidence Taehyung had left just hit rock bottom. Shame coats him from head to toe. He had made a jester of himself and at what cost? In hopes of rekindling and picking back up where they left off? He messed that up anyway. If only he didn’t act cowardly and just talked to him from the start, things might’ve turned out differently tonight.
Taehyung released an exhausting sigh, dropping his hands, ditching the position of reading the leader. There was nothing else to really say but the truth. So then he does.
“Because…I wrote this for you.”
Jimin knows this. He already figured that out the moment he read it. A letter he once thought had been for someone else, had belonged to him all along.
Taehyung could see Jimin’s nose flaring and shortly after, a tear hitting his cheek. The tears he tried to blink back forced itself out anyway.
Jimin wiped at his cheek, sniffling.
“I gotta go.” His voice was light, almost in a whisper but the silence made it hearable. Jimin brushed a shoulder past Taehyung’s, practically shoving him aside and his gang of friends had followed him out behind him.
Taehyung becomes a statue in place. He had been drained of his last pinch of energy. Alas the tears that he’d been holding back himself finally trickled down his cheek. He could feel arms embracing him—Namjoon’s arms embraced him. He kept whispering to Taehyung ‘it’s okay, it’s okay’ but it wasn’t. Nothing about tonight was okay.
“Alright, alright, show’s over. You can all start packing it up, I think we’re done for the night.” Yoongi announced loudly.
Namjoon already escorted Taehyung upstairs to his room, telling his younger friend to lay down and that they’ll handle the rest. That didn’t help how he was feeling though. Now he was feeling like a burden. He told them he wouldn’t go past his limit and he still did and in result, he suffered the actions of his consequences.
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ✉︎ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
The morning rolled around quickly. Taehyung didn’t know when he fell asleep but when he woke up, he had such a bad throbbing headache. It had been a reminder of the night before. He could only remember a few things but most of it had been a blur. He could see a figure moving in his peripheral view.
Yoongi.
“You’re finally awake.”
Taehyung groaned at that. “Don’t start with your fucking lecturing. Not today.” His voice was groggier than usual, a bit dry as he rolled on his side.
“Hey, I wasn’t going to, punk.” Yoongi defends. “Besides, you went through enough last night. I’m not gonna pile on it by giving you a mouthful.”
Last night. What happened last night?
Taehyung brushed his hair back, eyebrows furrowing. “Mm…How much did I drink?”
Yoongi folded his arms, sitting himself down on the bed in the space of the curve of Taehyung’s legs, entertained smile growing on his face. “Enough for you to make a fool out of yourself.”
“What?”
“You were a mess, like I knew you’d be.” Yoongi states.
Taehyung rolled his eyes into closing them shut as the day's light was making them hurt. “I couldn’t have been that bad, hyung.” Not even he fully believed that.
Yoongi huffs. “Sure. Anyway, Joonie is getting you a hangover kit. Rest up so you could get back on your feet properly.”
Taehyung hums in response. Yoongi left him to be with himself. His thoughts roam as he tries to remember what happened the night before. The pain throbbing in his head kept getting in the way of that so he almost gave up until he opened his eyes, mindlessly scanning his room, trying to focus on something else. They land on the little box on his side table. The box of hidden feelings from the past, staring back at him.
Then the realization hits. Everything comes rushing back. What he did last night came rushing back to him. He felt regretful. Wishing that he had a time machine to go back and change what happened yesterday. Maybe even farther than that. Maybe to never have the idea of the reunion party at all so that everything could go back to where it was—how it used to be. Where they both had moved on from each other’s existence.
So that he wouldn’t be hurting—so that Jimin wouldn’t be hurting.
Jimin.
“Shit…”
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ✉︎ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
Taehyung had spent the past few days trying to get in contact with Jimin. He thinks if he hadn’t fucked up that night it’d be easier. Possibly. His source, Yoongi, for his connections through Jimin’s friend, Hoseok, wasn’t available due to a trip he’d been on. Either involving family or business friends but that’s not important. Taehyung asked Namjoon if he had connections to Hoseok but the tall man wasn’t familiar enough with him. Not as much as Yoongi. He’s hung out with him a couple times but only when Yoongi had been present.
Taehyung groaned. The frustration was getting to him. He was sitting at his desk, searching Jimin up on the internet. Wasn’t easy anyway. There are too many people with the name Park Jimin but they weren’t his Park Jimin. There had been no trace of him anywhere, not even on social media. Jimin was always a private person and maybe that hadn’t changed about him.
brrrt… brrrt…
The sound of his phone vibrating against the desk. Taehyung looked at it, reading the ID caller, Joonie Hyung
He slides over the answer button and puts it on speaker.
“Hyung?” He called, eyes reverting back to his computer screen in continuation of a search that he should just give up on.
“Good news. Yoongi’s on his way back from his trip. I’m gonna pick him up and we’re gonna go grab something to eat afterwards if you want to meet up?”
A spark of excitement bursts in him like fireworks. His source was back. That’s kind of a low way of thinking about him but the recent events were fresh and that’s all he could think about right now.
“Send me the details. I'll meet up with you guys.”
“gotcha.”
The call had ended and Taehyung felt like he could finally let out a sigh of relief. Finally, he felt hopeful like this could be one step closer to making things right.
He met up with Namjoon and Yoongi. They settled on pizza so that’s what they’re eating right now. Taehyung sat on one side of the booth while his older friends sat on the other. Taehyung’s already on his second slice, halfway through it actually. After Taking a bite and dusting his hands off, he finally mentions why he’s here in the first place.
“So, Hoseok.” Taehyung makes it clear and straightforward. His words were muffled by the bite of pizza in his mouth.
Yoongi groaned. “This kid. I just got back from my trip. The least you could do is ask me how it was.”
Taehyung rolled his eyes, swallowing his food. “Right. What bad manners I have.” He cleared his throat, a sarcastic smile appearing on his face. “Yoongi hyung, how was the trip?”
Yoongi waves his hand. “I don’t wanna get into the details of it. Besides, you don’t actually care so let’s just move on to the actual conversation you want to have.”
Thank god.
It’s not like Taehyung didn’t care but something else was roaming his mind. Jimin was roaming his mind.
“What is it that you want me to ask him?”
Taehyung leaned forward with his arms crossed on the table in front of him, eager to engage in the topic of the conversation.
“If Jimin would mind if we talked. I wanna apologize to him.”
Yoongi hummed. He cleaned his hands of grease with a paper towel and with a struggle, since the booth wasn’t that big, he stretched his body out and reached down to pull his phone out of his pants pocket. Taehyung watched as his hands were twiddling and he could guess what was happening.
“Wait, you’re actually texting him, like, now?”
“Well I see no point in waiting. Don’t you want to get this done?” Yoongi asked without looking up from his phone.
He had a point. No more delaying and no more procrastinating. He needed to talk to Jimin now more than ever. He wanted to fix things in hopes of they’re last interaction not being left on a negative note.
“We’ll wait a few minutes before he texts back.”
Taehyung nodded. He leaned back against the head of the booth's chair, a leg bouncing uncontrollably.
Please text back. Please text back. Please text back.
Taehyung thinks his little string of hopefulness is dangerous. Could Jimin ever wanna talk to him again after that night? If the roles were reversed, would Taehyung talk to him again? That was hard to imagine because that’s all Taehyung wants to do. Talk to Jimin and properly this time.
The sound of a chime comes from Yoongi’s phone making Taehyung jump and spring forward towards it.
“What is it? What’s it say?”
“Well, could I open the message first?” Yoongi shakes his head in disbelief of his friend. He thinks he’s annoying but rather adorable. He felt like he was seeing high school Taehyung again. The little Taehyung who would go on and on and boast about this Jimin guy he liked.
“Hoseok said that Jimin says he doesn’t know if he wants to do that and that he’ll think about it.” Yoongi reads.
Taehyung’s heart sank. With little hope he had left was slowly turning into dismay. There was a possibility that Jimin might actually be done for good. Not even him saying he’ll think about it was worth holding onto but he’s Taehyung so he does so anyway.
The next few days after that felt long.
He’ll think about it.
That’s what’s keeping Taehyung going these days. He can’t even remember what he’d been doing before all of this mess.
He’ll think about it. He’ll think about it.
Alongside keeping him going, it’s weighing him down. Anchoring him every waking day. He barely got rest and barely ate but that wasn’t on purpose. Sometimes the mind can be so focused on something that some forget to do mundane things as simple as eating. Yoongi had given Taehyung Hoseok's number. That was after all the begging he did though. That was okay with him anyway because Taehyung told him he didn’t wanna keep bothering him about it and he wanted to take care of it himself.
Hoseok basically repeated the message Yoongi already told him but he also added “I’ll keep you posted.” along in his text. He felt thankful towards Hoseok. Something about him seems like he wanted this to work out. At least that’s what Taehyung thinks based on the text alone. He hadn’t heard a response from him though during these past few days.
He shouldn’t rush it. Taehyung shouldn’t rush this but his patience and hope were dimming like the sun’s light outside of his window. The day was coming to an end and that meant his vulnerability was going to wake soon. He managed to get in his kitchen and make something to eat after taking a shower to wash his thoughts away. Namjoon reminded him to eat actually. Taehyung feels thankful to have someone like him in his down times. He just made a bowl of ramen and some tteokbokki. Nothing too fancy. Just a comfort food befitting for his comfortable grey hoodie, grey sweatpants combo.
Not super filling but he wasn’t really hungry anyway. He kept checking his phone, as he does every day, multiple times a day now, to see if anything new from Hoseok would appear on his lock screen. Nothing. Of course. The impatients only ate at him as the minutes passed by. He couldn’t take it anymore so he opened his phone to send a text.
FROM TAEHYUNG:
I think I give up. I don’t want to pressure him into anything.
He’s not obligated to talk to me.
But if there’s a chance
Could I just give him the letter to keep?
I don’t want it anymore.
It was his anyway so I'd just like to do that at least if that’s okay.
Maybe even you could give it to him for me if he’s not comfortable seeing me at all.
Thanks in advance
Somehow that lifted some of the weight off his chest. Not entirely but enough to come to terms with life like this now. Life without Park Jimin all over again but this time, permanently.
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ✉︎ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
The next day came around. For the first time in the last few days, he felt somewhat okay. His stomach growled too. He hadn’t felt that for a bit either but today it definitely did. He just finished breakfast not knowing what his next plan was until
zzt zzt..
His phone buzzed in a quick rhythm. It became too quick of a habit to lunge at it whenever a text came through but he didn’t this time. It might be Namjoon or Yoongi like it used to be most of the time. He expected it but it wasn’t any of them.
Hoseok.
Taehyung unlocked his phone so fast as to read the full message properly.
FROM HOSEOK:
You’re in luck!!
Jiminie said he’ll meet you today to accept the letter
Taehyung’s eyes widened at his screen. His heart danced against his chest rhythmically in happiness. Maybe Jimin might not even talk to him and was probably either going through with it to do this favor for Taehyung or possibly, maybe, he just wants to see him. Didn’t matter because all Taehyung really needed was to see him, even if it’d be the last time.
Hoseok sent him the rest of the deets and with that, Taehyung got himself prepared. It became three hours past midday after Taehyung finally finished putting himself together. A simple white button up with details of skinny green stripes and wide green pants to match. He kept checking himself in the mirror to see if he looked okay. Blowing his breath against his hand to make sure it smelt normal. He even smelt himself hoping whatever he put on would be alright and not too much to become overwhelming.
He scoffed at himself. It wasn’t a date so why was he treating it like one? He’s nervous but another opportunity awaits him and he’s not messing that up again.
He met up with Hoseok at the location that was given to him. They were sitting on a bench just outside of an apartment complex, where apparently Hoseok and Jimin lived. They’re roommates—they share an apartment. That’s what Hoseok told him. He also said that Jimin was on the way and that he’d been staying at Jin and Jungkook’s place.
Oh. That’s right. The other friends of his.
Hoseok shares a little bit about Jimin and his life over the years Taehyung was absent. Little things like Jimin working in the fashion industry and it makes sense because his style did change over the years. That’s expected though, of anyone really.
Hours had passed by since Taehyung had gotten here. Jimin should’ve been here by now or at least when the sun was still up. The sky was pitch black and the stars filled them so. Taehyung stared at the letter in his hands. He sealed it in an envelope back at home because he thought it’d be more appropriate to give it to him that way.
Where was he? Where was the guy he was supposed to have given his feelings to? Taehyung sighs defeatingly.
“I don’t think he’s coming.” He mumbled.
Hoseok layed a warm comforting hand on his back, gently patting it.
“He’s coming.” He reassures Taehyung. “If it’s one thing I know about Jimin is that he’d never speak untruthfully. I’m sure he’s just nervous.”
Nervous?
Why was he nervous? Taehyung hadn’t thought about that to be honest. He thought that given his position, it was him that should feel that way but now he could see that perhaps it wasn’t just him.
“Jin hyung’s car. They’re here.” Hoseok informs the younger man.
Taehyung swiftly jolts his head up in the direction Hoseok pointed in. A sleek black car was approaching them and it caused his heart to start beating rapidly. He was about to meet Jimin again, a week after the whole reunion fiasco. He stood up naturally, as to get himself prepared to greet him. That is if he was willing to speak anyway.
The car came to a stop and the engine’s roar died down. The tall handsome man, Seokjin had stepped outside of the car from the driver's seat, meeting eyes with Taehyung and Hoseok. He waved politely, shutting the car door before making his way around the opposite side of his car, where the passenger seat faced the building.
Jungkook finally steps out from the backseat, throwing a bag over his shoulder and waves a hand in their direction as well before closing his door and meeting Jin at the passenger's seat.
What is it that they were doing? The both of them looked like they were struggling to take something out or rather—someone. Not just anybody but of course, Jimin.
Taehyung watched as Jimin stumbled out of the car. He seemed to be giggling at his clumsiness when he tripped over his own feet. Good thing Jungkook caught him and put the blonde’s arm over his shoulder as Jin took the other. The final door closed and the car locked as they were making their way with what seemed to be a drunk Jimin dangling his head between them.
He’s drunk. Did I cause that? Taehyung thought.
They finally approached the two who had been waiting all day in the same spot.
“Hey, Jimin-ah, you had quite a few drinks didn’t you?” Hoseok asked him. There had been a hint of worry in his voice like he didn’t expect this to happen.
“He couldn’t keep up with his tolerance.” Jin jokes, causing both Hoseok and Jungkook to laugh. Taehyung however wasn’t laughing. He was worried. Why’d he drink so much? He wasn’t even expecting a long conversation with Jimin. He planned to keep it brief and give him the letter and be on about his day but it seemed that Jimin expected the opposite.
“Hey.” Jungkook nodded towards the tawny man. Taehyung snapped out of the gaze he had on Jimin to meet eyes with the younger.
“Hm?”
“Can you take him? It’s hard carrying his bag and him at the same time.”
Taehyung gulped. Glancing at Jimin and then meeting eyes with Jungkook again who raised a brow, waiting for an answer.
“Uh yeah. Sure.” He finally replied, tucking the letter into his back pocket. Jungkook ducked his head from underneath Jimin’s arm, leaving the space open for another body to fill the gap. Taehyung swiftly invited his body into the empty space, taking hold of Jimin’s arm around his neck with his other hand around his waist. He could feel the weight of Jimin shifting, heavier toward him, against his body. Taehyung looked down at the smaller drunken man fondly and not even a second later, Jimin’s hair tickled his nose as he leaned his head against Taehyung’s cheek.
Taehyung’s trying to keep his composure. Trying not to smile at the unconscious gesture. He knew the action was accidental but he couldn’t help but to feel warm. It reminded him of back then when Jimin used to lay his head on Taehyung often. Could it be that it was muscle memory? Nevertheless it was soft and his hair smelled of peaches and that was something that hadn’t changed about him.
“C'mon let’s get him inside.” Hoseok jerked his chin towards the building and led them inside. They reached the seventh floor—the floor they lived on and stepped out of the elevator, reaching the apartment door. He typed in the pin and the door unlocked with a melodic beeping tune following it. It was a bit of a struggle getting inside with the two men trying to keep Jimin at his feet while trying to fit inside the door frame but they managed to do it.
“I’m gonna go get him a glass of water.” Hoseok said, making his way towards the kitchen. Taehyung nods followed by a hum.
“Come set him down over here.” Jungkook suggests, heading in the direction of the couch. They followed him, gently setting Jimin down when they reached it. Jimin leaned his back against the couch with his head dangling at the top of it, revealing his rosy cheeks. Taehyung couldn’t help but to stare—to study him. He thinks Jimin’s adorable as he had never seen him like this before. He envies those who got to experience this side of him first. To see how even more endearing he became.
He may not have seen him like this first but it was his first time seeing him like this and somehow, that was special to him. It’s like when you watch a movie and experience a scene for the first time and you wanna chase it again—the feeling of seeing it for the first time but you can’t experience that feeling twice. That’s why this moment was special to him.
“Diminie dizzy..” Jimin mumbled, giggling to himself again. Taehyung feels like his heart is about to expand and pop out of his chest. He couldn’t help but to smile at him. There was a time back in high school where Taehyung noticed a small lisp that slipped out sometimes when Jimin spoke, like he just did now. Except, it was heavier and more noticeable and Taehyung supposed that whenever Jimin was like this, this is how he’d sound. It was adorable and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t completely enamored with him right now.
Jimin hasn’t changed, not that much. He’s always been charming and lovely and that was him now but times ten, Taehyung thinks.
Hoseok placed the cup of water down on the table that sat in front of the couch. He put a hand at each side of his hips when he shook his head and exhaled a funny noise.
“He should’ve told me he was gonna drink.”
“I tried to stop him but he kept saying one more! one more! it won’t affect me.” Jin chimed in.
“Jiminie hyung is stubborn sometimes, you know?” Jungkook shares.
“That he is.” Hoseok agrees. “Now I have to go get him a hangover kit for the morning.”
“Let’s go together. I can drive.” Jin. suggests.
“I’ll come with.” Jungkook invites himself.
They all agree and head for the door until Taehyung called out to them.
“Wait. You’re gonna leave me here with him like this?”
You’d think Taehyung would have no problem with that but in all honesty, he’d rather be with a more conscious version of him. Also, he was a stranger to the rest so he wondered why they’d trust him to be the one to stay here with Jimin, alone. Hoseok explained to him that because he had a past with Jimin, that that was the only reason they trusted him to stay and watch over him.
“He knows you. Just hang tight, we’ll be back soon. It shouldn’t take long.” Hoseok tells him and with that, they head out.
Taehyung stands there, immobile, not knowing if he should sit beside Jimin and join him on the couch or not. He watched how Jimin mumbles to himself. Asking himself why he’d drink so much and things like that. He really must have been nervous to be in the state he’s in at the moment. Taehyung almost feels guilty of it, like he most likely caused Jimin to be unstable. There was also a part of Taehyung that thinks he and Jimin are much more alike than he’ll admit. Thinking drinking will help ease a conversation until they do too much that’ll cause unclear misunderstandings.
Taehyung takes a deep breath, clearing his throat, attempting to make conversation with Jimin for the first time tonight.
“Jimin….you should drink some water.” He tells him, picking up the cup and bringing it closer to the blonde. He kept a distance of about two feet away from him, just extending his arm. He didn’t wanna overstep. He didn’t know how Jimin felt about him after everything that happened that night so it was like walking on thin ice for him.
Jimin’s eyes slowly wandered to meet Taehyung’s own. His eyes were half opened but it was enough to see that he’d been making direct eye contact. Taehyung gulped. The last time Jimin looked at him, he was noticeably unhappy. Rightfully so.
Jimin blinks at him and ends up surrendering the guard he had been holding up against Taehyung. He parted his lips in a way to let Taehyung know he can bring the cup closer so that he’ll drink it. Taehyung diligently moved forward, stepping closer into Jimin’s space, still keeping a distance but just enough to bring the cup up to his lips. Thankfully he drank the water—thankfully he allowed Taehyung to be the one to give it to him.
Jimin’s eyes linger on Taehyung as he’s taking tiny sips. Taehyung feels like he’s made of glass. Like Jimin’s trying to see through him even though that may not be true but it does feel that way. The smaller man lifts a hand to push the cup away as he has had enough even though it definitely wasn’t. Taehyung places the cup back down in the spot it’d been in, worried eyes still looking at Jimin.
“M’dizzy…” Jimin repeats solemnly but this time, his eyebrows furrowed and a frown paints his face.
“Don’t worry. Your friends…” He paused. “Your friends are going to get you something for that just…just hang in there.” Taehyung tells him. The words left a bitter taste in his mouth.
Your friends.
Taehyung was once a friend to Jimin too.
Jimin wagged his head with a small groan. “I wanna—“ he grunts, making an effort to lift his drunken body off the couch and stand. He stumbled, triggering Taehyung to grab him by his forearm with one hand as the other ghosts over his waist.
“Woah.. slow down.”
“My bed.” Jimin slurs but clear enough for Taehyung to understand.
“You wanna lay down in your bed?” Taehyung asks for clarification.
Jimin nods. He pulls himself from Taehyung’s gentle hold lazily and manages to make his way behind the taller man. Taehyung, confused, watches him until his pupil reaches the corner of his eye over his shoulder.
“What are you—“
Jimin placed his hands on each of Taehyung’s shoulders and pressed his forehead against his back. A soft quick inhale comes from Taehyung. Something about this feels distantly familiar. It is familiar. Taehyung recognizes Jimin’s placements on his own body. Another old habit reviving from its past.
Back then, there was a time where Jimin would complain that he’s tired. He’d whine about not feeling like walking anymore and would hold onto Taehyung’s back for support so that he’d drag along behind him. Taehyung laughed at him and offered a piggy back ride and of course Jimin took it. That became a habit every time Jimin felt tired or weak to the point where words weren’t needed anymore. Taehyung would know immediately and would have no problem assisting Jimin.
Taehyung wondered if this was accidental. Even so, it couldn’t be helped that he had been absolutely smitten by him at this moment. Couldn’t help but to express tenderness toward Jimin. a big boxy smile gleefully, slowly, expanding on his face because of it.
Jimin whined behind him, pressing his forehead deeper in Taehyung’s back.
“Okay, okay.” Taehyung gushes.
How endearing.
He bent himself down, carefully placing his hands behind each of Jimin’s thighs and used his rear end to prop Jimin up in his back almost properly. Jimin laid a cheek against Taehyung’s shoulders where his face was close enough to Taehyung’s neck. Jimin pressed his nose against the bronze skin of it, taking a slow sharp inhale with a whiff of soft vanilla and musk.
“Smells good.” he mumbled.
Taehyung exhaled a soft nasally chuckle “Jimin… you have to hold onto me properly or you’ll slip off my body.” He reminds him.
Jimin hummed. He wrapped his arms around Taehyung’s neck tighter than before and used them to pull himself up and finished off with his legs embracing Taehyung’s torso so that he was finally sitting against Taehyung properly. A final touch of action being him tucking his head in the crease of Taehyung’s neck, burying his face until he was satisfied.
warm.
Jimin’s warm. It’s comforting. Always has been. Being close like this, a rhythm of two drums beating as one—two hearts beating as one against Taehyung. His and Jimin’s. Everything feels natural like that last puzzle piece had been put into place to finish the picture.
With the smile never leaving Taehyung, he heads toward a long foyer. He assumes that’s the path for the bedrooms as he is clueless to the outline of this apartment. It seemed correct so he kept going forward, keeping his pace slow.
“Jimin, where’s your room?”
He waited a bit but got no response from the smaller man he carried. It made him giggle. Taehyung thinks he’s cute.
“Jimin-ssi…” Taehyung called endearingly, his voice soft, almost in a whisper. “Jimin-ah… where’s your room hm?”
Jimin finally unhides himself and rests his chin against Taehyung’s shoulder. He pointed up ahead, directly forward. His room sat at the end of the hallway perfectly. Taehyung reached the door, swinging it open and taking a step inside. The room was dark but not fully. Jimin’s room was simple, light colors all around like white cream and beige of some sort and he had a lamp in the corner of his room that created an ambience of warmth, casting a glow on the walls.
cozy.
He walked up to Jimin’s bed, leisurely lowering himself down until he sat against it. He released his hold on Jimin and so naturally, Jimin’s embrace disappeared too. The blonde adjusted himself on his bed to lay correctly, lowering his head on a fluffy cushion beneath him. Taehyung sits there for a bit, glancing around the low lit room, observing his surroundings.
It truly is warm and cozy. Just like Jimin.
Taehyung looked back over his shoulder now and because it had been difficult to really see behind him, he turned his body halfway, only to meet the eyes of Jimin, who was already viewing him. There’s a pause. A long pause. Neither of them said anything and the silence had been anything but awkward. Instead they just share eye contact with one another and the hush that surrounds them peacefully. That is until—
“You’re so…handsome…your face is glowing….” Jimin’s soft voice breaks the silence but it still manages to blend with the room’s soundlessness. It had been something about that recognizable face—something sweet but it’s nothing Jimin’s not familiar with.
It was true. His honesty got the better of him and he couldn’t hold that thought in. Taehyung was glowing—gleaming actually. The ambient lighting against his honey skin played its part supporting that too. Taehyung grants him a tug at each corner of his lips. A warm smile, befitting for the mood and setting they’re in.
“You don’t actually mean that…you’re not…you, you right now.”
The inner of Jimin’s eyebrows stitch together. He felt offended in a way because he did mean it. Even if he wasn’t completely in his right state of mind, his words spoke true.
Taehyung’s eyes shift focus, perhaps to hide his blushing cheeks (it’s definitely to hide them) and they land on Jimin’s feet dangling off the side of his bed. He noticed his shoes were still on so he casually gets up, continuing to talk when he says
“When you recover..” He unties Jimin’s shoes, gently removing one “you probably won’t even remember you said that.”
He repeats the action on the other side, breathing a short laugh through his nose, “It’s okay though…I’ll still take your words ... .hold them close…” His voice gets quieter as he keeps what he says a secret to himself. He removed one of Jimin’s socks, holding his foot as if it were fragile and gently placed it on the bed properly.
“—Then I’ll keep them in my heart….and laminate them forever.” He finishes, removing the other sock and placing Jimin’s foot next to the other. His eyes meet Jimin’s again. The smaller man slowly blinked at him as his eyes seemed to grow heavier. Their gaze stretched far apart from each other but the energy between them felt close, like it used to.
a small river of tears invites itself to sit at the edge of Taehyung’s waterline. He thinks it’s best that the room was dim so that if a tear dares to fall, it’d be unseen, a secret only Taehyung would know. He takes a slow deep breath to collect himself or tries to hold everything that was trying to force its way out, back.
He parts his lips, a silent shaky breath escapes him “Sleepy?”
Jimin stares for a bit longer and then finally answers the tawny man with a small nod. He couldn’t imagine how much worry he suffered prior to coming here—how exhausting it might’ve been for him. Taehyung understands him. He understands the feeling. He couldn’t help but to feel guilty about it still. Jimin put himself through this all because of him. It wasn’t entirely his fault though because Jimin chose to do it himself anyway.
Taehyung hums, echoing the action and returning the nod to Jimin.
“Close…close your eyes.” Taehyung hesitantly suggests.
Jimin doesn’t close them immediately but eventually, ends up doing so. His eyes flutter shut just as Taehyung had asked him to.
Taehyung walks his way around the bed again, dragging his feet slowly like he didn’t want this moment to go away. Like he wanted to stay like this a few seconds longer. Unfortunately he reached his destination, back at Jimin’s side when he sank himself onto the bed softly. He studied Jimin—studied every feature on his face through slightly blurry vision. He was beautiful. He’s always been and that was something that hasn’t changed about him.
Taehyung brings his index finger up to ghost over Jimin’s forehead before brushing the blonde strands out of his face. He couldn’t help himself but to cross a line he’d been trying to keep back all night. He overstepped. He invited himself into Jimin's space in a way he fought this whole time. His breath shudders when he breathes in again.
“It’s okay.” He whispered, brushing the strand once more. “Sleep it all away. You have nothing to worry about anymore.”
He watched Jimin take a deep breath in and then soon after slow movements of his body ascending and descending in a rhythmic motion. He’s asleep. It seemed like just a simple touch from Taehyung, calmed him and he felt safe enough to just drift off to sleep. Taehyung smiles shakingly, his lips quivering uncontrollably. His heartbeat speeding up rapidly, banging on the doors of his chest. The secret spills. The tear he tried to hold back finally pushes through with the help of a blink.
Everything’s okay. Everything will be okay.
He watched Jimin sleep and before he knew it, he could hear the sounds of other voices traveling through the apartment. They kept their word—Jimin’s friends. They were back quicker than Taehyung expected. He wished they took a little longer. It was a selfish thought but he wanted to be in this space with Jimin alone for just a little longer. Taehyung gathers himself to leave the warm space and return to the world that seemed colder outside of this room. He pulled the letter out of his back pocket and placed it beside Jimin so that it’d be there for him and it’d be the first thing he sees, hopefully, when his eyes open.
Taehyung finally leaves his room, joining himself with the others. He explained that Jimin fell asleep and that he’s okay. After some more small chatter he pulled Hoseok aside privately to let him know how thankful he was to him and that there was nothing else he needed anymore. That he’s okay with everything moving forward and that if he’d still like to keep in touch, he is more than welcomed to but that he’s finally putting everything to an end. Hoseok told him that if he ever needed another favor regarding Jimin, that he’s here for him. Taehyung felt grateful toward him and let him know that he definitely will but for now he’s more than okay.
And he was.
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ✉︎ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
Two weeks have passed since he’d last seen Jimin. Surprisingly, he honestly was content and doing okay. It’d be a lie if he said Jimin didn’t cross his mind somewhere but it didn’t drive him crazy like before. His mind had been pretty decent, almost like how it was prior to meeting Jimin again. Maybe keeping his mind busy helped with that as well. He’d been helping Yoongi move into his new apartment. He used to live farther away which used to make their meetups slow and if he had the time to but he decided to finally move closer in the neighborhood which made a significant difference.
Taehyung would meet up with him more often now. He thinks having his hyung around more frequently anchored his mind to stay focused on the present. It was better like this anyway. He was in a better headspace until he’d arrive home to a reminder of Jimin.
The little box.
Every night before bed he’d stare at the little box of letters on his nightstand that also stared back at him. It’s taunting in a way. He would try to ignore, pretend they aren’t there but no matter where they are, no matter if he tried to hide them, deep down he knew they were close by so one day while finishing bringing the last bit of boxes in Yoongi’s apartment he asked a favor of him.
“You want me to do what?” Yoongi arched his brow.
The question was ridiculous or maybe to Yoongi it was but Taehyung repeated it anyway.
“Can you keep this here and hold onto it for me?” He asked, pushing the little box forward into the older man’s chest.
Yoongi pushed it back almost immediately. “I don’t think I should do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because” Yoongi chuckled, folding his arms to guard his chest in case Taehyung repeated the action “They’re not mine—They aren’t my memories.”
Taehyung scoffs. “So? You don’t have to look at it. Just hide it somewhere deep and far away. I can’t bear to have this at my place anymore.” Taehyung admits. “And I don’t wanna throw them away because…well because they’re memories.”
“More of a reason enough to keep them with you.” Yoongi states.
“Ugh You’re impossible, truly.” Taehyung pouts.
“And you’re an asshat, truly.” Yoongi counters. “Now stop pestering me about that and help me put away the dishes.” His voice echoes as he makes his way to the kitchen.
Taehyung shakes his head and rolls his eyes as he sets the little box down.
zzt.. zzt..
His phone buzzes in his back pocket. The rhythm of it letting him know it’s a text. He pulled it out then looked at his lock screen, eyebrows furrowing at the name.
Hoseok.
They haven’t spoken since the time he met up with him to meet Jimin and although he told him that he could reach out anytime, it still surprised him.
“Taehyung-ah” Yoongi called him from across the room.
“Hold on.” Taehyung responded. Not loud enough to hear since his mind had been elsewhere.
He opened up the message fully to read it properly.
FROM HOSEOK:
Taehyung-ah! It’s been a bit since we chatted hm?
I hope you’re doing okay
Anyway
Jin has a trip planned to visit his parents resort on friday and he thought it’d be nice to have more people on the trip so I insisted on asking you if you’d like to come?
I planned to text Yoongi but you came to mind first
You down?
Taehyung couldn’t hide a smile even if he tried to. Someone who he’d just met not too long ago thinks of him before someone he’s familiar with makes him feel special somehow. He’d love to rub it in Yoongi’s face but he won’t. Something else came to mind though and that was that Jimin would also be there. To be standing in a room with him again would make his day. The thoughts he did so well to keep back for two weeks came rushing at him again.
It couldn’t be helped that the rerun of his infatuation with Jimin wouldn’t leave, no matter how hard he tried. He was definitely going.
“Yoongi hyung!” You could hear the smile in Taehyung’s voice when he called. His feet guided him in the direction of the kitchen where his older friend was standing. It was a talent that he never looked up from his phone and managed to get there without bumping into a wall.
“What?” Yoongi asked draggingly.
“Start packing again. We’re going on a trip!”
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ✉︎ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
Friday rolled around rather fast. Taehyung hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before due to excitement. Jimin had been on his mind all night or rather the letters to him. Taehyung decided that he might give it a go and just give him the rest when the time is right and this time he wants to do it correctly. Sober and aware of himself. Even if Jimin decides not to take them, he thinks he’ll be okay anyway because he’s accepted the fate of them not being present in each other’s lives like that anymore. He’s done it before—lived a life without Jimin. So it wouldn’t make a difference in the future.
He’s putting himself together at the moment. Throwing on a deep plum hoodie with a pink T-shirt underneath and some jeans. A casual look. Nothing too fancy. Though he’d be going to some place where there’s sand and the heat may be on the rise but it was alright anyway since the plan was to meetup by five so it would be a little cooler out anyway. He also couldn’t forget his signature scent and though he’s always worn it, he liked the fact that Jimin liked it as well.
“smells good.”
It makes him chuckle to himself just thinking about it. He finishes packing his suitcase, the final touch being the little box of letters as a gift to Jimin.
“Taehyung-ah hurry up!” Yoongi yelled from downstairs.
“Coming! I’m coming!” Taehyung yelled back, already making his way down the stairs from his room to the living room where Yoongi and Namjoon were.
“Can’t believe you managed to get him to come, Taehyung.” Namjoon says, jerking his head toward Yoongi.
“He can deny it all it wants but he was coming anyway or else he’d be lonely without us.” Taehyung teased.
“Yeah, yeah. Let’s just go so we can meet up with the others already.” Yoongi says walking away from their nonsensical teasing.
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ✉︎ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
The ride there was a bit lengthy. Two hours and some change to be exact but the timing was near perfect. They managed to arrive seventeen minutes past five and thanks to the staff, the escort to the beach house near the resort—which was where they were staying—had been a breeze. Jin greeted them and welcomed them in, telling them where to put their shoes and bags and was even kind enough to lend them house shoes.
To call it decent was an understatement, even the beach house was luxurious. There were a lot of big windows with the view of the beach. Pretty peaceful.
Taehyung was the last to set his bag down and when he turned around, there’d been a familiar captivating glow. One that belonged to one person specifically.
Jimin.
It was like the world moved in slow motion. His aura was truly spellbinding, one that was like no other. The sun graced him perfectly as he was making his way into the house. Giving him an outline of a warm radiant yellow hue, golden, actually. Befitting for him and his outfit seems to go with it too. A cream colored jacket with a white T-shirt and simple black pants with his hair tied into a ponytail and a few pieces managing to escape. Taehyung thought he really knew how to dress well. He knew how to captivate his own essence.
Charming.
He tried not to stare too long, in hopes of not accidentally meeting his eyes which would’ve let Jimin know that Taehyung was already looking his way. He cleared his throat, making his way to sit on the couch next to Namjoon. He tried coming up with small talk just to take his attention off the blonde who was sharing the same air as him. It always feels like his first time meeting him like back in high school. Each time he would enter the space, the butterflies in Taehyung’s stomach wouldn’t stop. Like right now.
Jimin seemed to be minding his business, scrolling through his phone. It also seems like he didn’t notice Taehyung yet. That is until—
“Taehyung-ah you made it!” Hoseok’s voice was so distinct and the volume in his sentence was noticeable. So noticeable that when Taehyung glances at Jimin, their eyes meet.
Fuck.
Now Jimin was aware of his presence. That’s not a bad thing though. Maybe. Not entirely because just the sound of his name caught Jimin’s attention. A smug grin trying to force its way out through Taehyung’s poker face. Taehyung quickly averted his eyes elsewhere—around the room period so as to not make it look like he looked at Jimin on purpose even though he did.
He smiled politely toward Hoseok who welcomed him with open arms so he returned the embrace.
“That I did.” He finally responds. “Thank you for inviting me.”
“Of course! I’ve grown to like you so I hope this little trip makes us closer.”
Taehyung nods in agreement. He liked Hoseok too. He acted like a supportive older brother the first time they met which was sweet but Taehyung also felt guilty because although he wanted to be friends with him, he thinks Hoseok is his bridge to Jimin—one step closer to Jimin.
Thirty minutes had passed and Jin who left around the time had returned with a tray of what looked like different flavors of bingsu, all topped with different toppings. He called out to everyone near the island in the open kitchen area to come and get their treats. The weather was a little warm so it was a nice cool down treat. Everyone overlaps in chatter excitingly as they grab them one by one. Taehyung was second to last picking his and there were only two flavors left.
Strawberry and Mango.
He was at an unfair advantage of being able to choose which one he wanted but a minute ago he saw Jimin heading to the bathroom so unfortunately for him, he didn’t have any real choices left to choose from. Taehyung loves strawberry flavored anything and the sight of the strawberry flavored bingsu was calling to him. As he was going to reach for it, he could hear that Jungkook was telling Jimin to go grab one and that’s when he stopped in his tracks. He’s back from his trip to the bathroom.
Taehyung hesitated and even though it wasn’t a big deal, he finally decided to grab the mango one. He didn’t mind the flavor anyway, although he really really wanted the strawberry one. He could hear footsteps approaching him closer behind him so naturally, he attempted to flee the area before Jimin noticed.
If only he were fast enough.
Jimin looked between the treat in Taehyung’s hand to the one sitting on the counter. They were noticeably different, especially in color.
oh.
He knew what was happening. He knew Taehyung did him a small favor even though he didn’t ask and it couldn’t be helped. The gesture made him react to it immediately.
“I thought—“ Jimin starts, speaking in Taehyung’s direction. He paused.
Taehyung paused too. His heart automatically picks up speed. Jimin was speaking to him—acknowledging him for the first time tonight.
“Don't ... .Don't you like strawberry?” Jimin asked with curiosity about the obvious reason why Taehyung picked the other flavor.
Taehyung gulps, a small nod followed after. “I do.” He answers. “But…. you hate mango.” He finishes. He pressed his lips together with a small ‘it’s no big deal’ shrug and then turned to walk away before his face turned red, leaving Jimin to ponder on it.
The way Taehyung remembered even the smallest detail about him made Jimin feel a certain way. Made him feel endeared by it. Jimin probably mentioned not liking mangos maybe twice back then whereas Taehyung would go on and on about his love for strawberries. Jimin hummed at the thought and eventually ended up grabbing the last remaining bingsu that Taehyung left for him.
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ✉︎ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
The sun was setting and the last peak of it had disappeared behind the sea. Jin gathered everyone in the living room because it was time to select rooms. There were three in total and he stated that they’d be sleeping in two pairs of two and a pair of three and of course the trio would get the biggest room. It was only fair. By doing this, he had everyone pick out a ball in a secret box and if they got the same color, they had to share the room.
Jimin decided to go first and he ended up pulling a purple ball. The others followed suit and some of them became pairs already. Not another purple ball in sight though which was making Taehyung nervous. The chances of him sharing a room with Jimin were greater than he’d thought. A part of him definitely wouldn’t mind that but the other felt the opposite. He hadn’t properly spoken to Jimin since the reunion and with him being conscious now, he doesn’t know how comfortable Jimin might actually be if they had shared a room.
Of course he’s last, right after Namjoon who picked a yellow ball that matched up with Jungkook. So that meant that the last ball inside was purple, a ball to match Jimin’s. Everybody looked between the two knowing their situation. Unfortunately, by default, Taehyung will be sharing a room with him after all.
“Then it’s settled!” Jin exclaimed, obviously trying to break a tension that was brewing. “I also planned for us to watch a movie together for quality time so go get settled and meet up with me when you’re done.”
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ✉︎ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
They were halfway through the movie but Taehyung hadn’t been paying attention to it. Along with hearing some chatter next to him on the couch between Namjoon and Jungkook, his mind was on Jimin. They didn’t really talk when they both put their things in the room they were sharing. The silence was roaring. The only thing that joined it were the shuffling of each of their bags.
Even if Taehyung wanted to say anything, the speed in which Jimin left the room was noticeable. Now Taehyung can only think about if Jimin was uncomfortable with the idea of them being together in the same space. It was bad enough that there was also one bed.
Though there were other comfortable chairs at each side of the couch, they all decided to sit together, bunched up. But it only made sense so it was easier to share the snacks that were present. Jimin sat on the floor on the opposite side of the couch, in front of Jin. With them sitting like this, he has been in a good spot to see Jimin and observe him whenever. He watched how Jimin downed almost half a bottle of soju in one go.
Is he okay?
Taehyung didn’t wanna assume but it seemed like something was bothering him. Jimin hadn’t been watching the movie much either. Taehyung could see his eyes wandering everywhere but on the screen. Something was definitely bothering him. Taehyung couldn’t figure out what but he thinks it’s because they’re sharing a room.
Or
Is it because of me again? Taehyung thinks. He wondered if Jimin drank in the past two weeks or has he picked it up again just because they’re in the same space?
Taehyung had been contemplating on asking Namjoon to switch rooms with him but they did draw their assigned colors fairly and that would have been against the reason for doing so in the first place. He grabbed a few pieces of popcorn, popping them in his mouth one by one with a slow movement of his jaw chewing on each of them, seeing Jimin through his peripheral view now so as to not make it obvious he was looking at him all night.
Another quick glance in Jimin’s direction and he noticed that the blonde was making conversation with Jin. Taehyung had cute big ears but even with that he couldn’t hear him. He wasn’t meant to anyway. They were whispering after all. Jimin does stand up though. Taehyung’s eyes drew to him immediately out of habit and watched him walk in the direction of where their room would be.
Time has passed since then. Not too much but enough to know that Jimin hasn’t come back yet. Taehyung was suddenly feeling anxious, like knowing this bothered him. Yoongi was sitting in front of him and Hoseok was sitting next to him on the floor. He didn’t wanna bother them but the thought of Jimin not being okay was eating at him so he had to ask.
He tapped Hoseok on the shoulder, making him turn to look up at him.
“Sorry…I just…Is Jimin okay?” He whispered.
Hoseok’s face twisted in confusion and perhaps a bit of worry. His eyebrows practically touched each other and a slight frown was displayed. “He should be. Why?”
Taehyung opens his mouth to speak but stops himself. He’s trying to be careful with his words—with what he wants to say to not completely assume something was wrong with Jimin but still well enough to explain in detail from his own point of view on a surface level.
“He’s drinking. Does he do that under stress? Has he…has he been drinking since the last time I was supposed to meet him?”
Hoseok angled his head, eyes drifting upward as he pondered on this for a bit before focusing back on Taehyung. “Not that I know of.” He answers. “Jimin doesn’t usually drink, not even under stress. Nervous? Maybe. But that’s a rare occasion.” He explained.
Nervous. Right. Like last time. What could he be nervous about?
Taehyung hummed. A sad expression starts slipping through the poker face he tried to keep up. It was noticeable and that’s what makes Hoseok tap his knee, snapping him out of his thoughts.
“Hey…I’m sure he’s fine.” He tried to reassure the younger man. “Would you like me to check up on him, if that’ll ease your mind?”
Taehyung sighs, shaking his head gently. “I’ll do it. I think it’s best if I do it.”
Hoseok gives him a supportive smile along with a nod. Taehyung gets up, bracing himself to meet with Jimin, trying to keep the composure he planned to have the whole trip. Before he could walk away, Yoongi pulled at his jeans. Taehyung turns to look down at him.
“Remember to breathe before you speak and don’t do or say anything stupid.”
Taehyung chuckled. He knew Yoongi was referring to his actions at the reunion party. Thank goodness this time he was in his right mind and he wasn’t drunk so any chances of that happening were low. He playfully kicked his older friend on his leg.
“I won’t. I promise.” Taehyung tells him and then continues to head towards the room. The sound of the tv muffling behind him the closer he got to the door and when he did, his body jolted, forcing him to stop moving.
Earlier when they settled in the room and Jimin left, Taehyung stayed behind a little longer to take the box of letters out and hide it under the bed so that it’d already be prepared for when he wanted to give them to Jimin. Unfortunately his plan was ruined.
The little box was sitting in Jimin’s lap with a sea full of letters surrounding him. He wasn’t supposed to know about it—Not like this at least but he did.
It felt like Taehyung’s heart sank to his feet. He couldn’t move. His whole world crumbled now that Jimin got a hold of it. It was too late and everything had come out into the open. He wasn’t planning on being present when Jimin read the letters either and technically, right now, he wasn’t present when he read them but he could still see him anyway. There was nothing else to do. No reason to hide anymore.
Taehyung took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly, gulping down whatever feelings that were trying to escape to keep his mind leveled. Finally, he decided to take a step into the room he couldn’t avoid forever. It was time to be brave and honest. No more bullshiting.
Jimin’s head ascended slowly, meeting the eyes of Taehyung’s own. He huffs out a chuckle through his nose at the culprit responsible for the pool of letters around him. Each of them with prominent ancient bends from being folded for so long, along with the one sitting in Jimin’s hand.
“Oops.” Jimin says apologetically as he also knows that he wasn’t supposed to find them either. In his defense, he thought Jin left it there on purpose. Like it was a gift of some sort until he opened it. Technically it was a gift of some sort and not from Jin but from Taehyung.
“I planned to give them to you some time during the trip.” Taehyung explained. “It’s no big deal really. I just didn’t want to hold onto them anymore.”
His voice was calm but not naturally. Jimin could tell that Taehyung was trying to be inconspicuous, putting on a facade of nonchalance when in reality, he was anything but calm. Although most of his body stood casually, the noticeable detail of his fingers fidgeting against his jeans betrayed him. Jimin thinks he may know something that might help put him at ease.
His arm extends, a bottle of soju in his hand at the end of it. “Drink?”
Taehyung stares at the bottle a bit before nodding, and taking in a more relaxed breath. “Yeah…Sure.”
He makes his way to sit down on the bed beside Jimin, taking the bottle out of Jimin’s hold, hesitating a bit before bringing it to his lips and taking a gulp of it. This was definitely something they had in common. Drinking when feelings came to the surface. The drink became their accomplice for the night—a friend that built a bridge for them to travel freely between one another.
Taehyung takes another gulp before passing it back to Jimin. He adjusted himself to sit on the bed properly—more comfortably as the tension quickly disappeared around them, rubbing at his thighs while he monitored the smaller man reading one of the letters in his hand.
“How cheesy…but so endearing.” Jimin says out loud. He meant for it to come out that way to include Taehyung in his thoughts. Jimin took a nice gulp, one much bigger than Taehyung’s.
“But they were cute when I didn’t know they were for me..” He admits, turning his head in Taehyung’s direction. “Why didn’t you tell me..? Back then I mean.”
Taehyung’s eyes drift to the hands sitting on his legs because he couldn’t dare to look a jimin in his eyes as he explained his reasoning. He released a deep sigh.
“Everyone else had the privilege of knowing you before I arrived….Im sure someone liked you way before I did.” He tells him. “Also, You were one of the few friends I had…I didn’t want to risk losing our friendship over my crush on you.”
Jimin hums, taking another gulp before passing the bottle back to Taehyung. “Maybe you should’ve.” There was a pause. “—Told me, I mean and maybe…maybe it could’ve solved some misunderstandings.”
Taehyung’s brows pull together, pinching in a knit, puzzlement in his expression. “What do you mean?”
Jimin’s lips part to speak but instead a laugh escapes him. It was quick and breathy, almost inaudible. It seems his nerves were starting to get the best of him. He started removing his jacket as it felt like the temperature in the room was getting warmer, while mumbling something along the lines of ‘I can’t believe I'm doing this’ and adjusting his body to turn and face Taehyung with a leg bent and the other dangling off the bed.
Taehyung mirrored him. Adjusting his body to face Jimin properly, folding his legs like a pretzel. The energy shifted like something more serious was going to be said so Taehyung was prepared to listen to him with open ears.
Jimin avoids Taehyung’s eyes. He gathers himself to make sure his words are clear, knowing he’s about to delve into the emotions he’d kept buried all these years.
“It’s funny, Y’know…knowing now, who these letters were for all this time.” He starts. “When I first met you, I already knew I’d enjoy your company. I enjoyed it a lot more than thought I would, I’ll admit. I definitely enjoyed being around you more than the friends I already were familiar with.” He says honestly. “And even though we’d been friends for a few months…I felt like I knew you longer..like we had been friends for a long time.”
Taehyung nods at his words. He agrees.
“—Then eventually time flew and we’d been friends for more than a year…even after that but then…the summer after we graduated rolled around and I couldn’t hang out with you the way I wanted to because y’know I was visiting my grandma or whatever but we got to talk over the phone every night…” Jimin says with his voice trailing off as he was reliving the moment in his head.
Taehyung could see the corners of his lips pulling into a smile and it definitely made his heart flutter. Knowing Jimin was smiling because of the past, it seemed like for the first time, Taehyung felt understood. Like the past was also meaningful for Jimin just as much as him.
Jimin blinks rapidly, shaking his head with his shoulders rising up to his ears and his chest expanding in the deep breath he took. “—I enjoyed them so much. I enjoyed hearing you—your voice, so much.” He says honestly. “—But there had been times when we couldn’t talk…where it slowed down for a bit and all I could think about was if you finally got to talk to the secret person you were so in love with and how I assumed they’d been the purpose for taking up your time away from me and I would get—“ His brows furrow as he shoulders finally dropped.
“So jealous.. so jealous of this mystery person like, who’s taking up my best friend’s time and then I would feel so silly because It didn’t bother me at first but then…but then I-It did and I couldn’t help but to be anxious of what you were doing without me and that’s such a selfish way of thinking because I was also busy too and you probably never thought that way about me…” He paused to take another breath.
“It’s just…after more time went on we were both too busy to talk and it came to a full stop but the thoughts wouldn’t stop…” Jimin explained. “They wouldn’t go away and I was trying to figure out why I was feeling so strongly about it…why was I so upset at the thought of you being with someone else… someone that wasn’t me and I finally came to terms with the fact that…with the fact that I liked you…. and not just liked you but liked you, liked you…” He admits. “And you don’t know how long—“
He looks up to meet Taehyung’s eyes now. Looking between them—through them like he can see that this was something he never expected to come.
The volume in Jimin’s voice gets softer, finishing what he was trying to say. “You don’t know how long…It finally took me to get over you.”
The truth finally cascaded out, a waterfall of hidden feelings bursting through the dam he’d built around them. His words pierced through Taehyung like a knife. It stung, knowing Jimin felt something for him until he didn’t anymore. Bittersweet. Happy wasn’t the word to describe how Taehyung was feeling but it was something like that.
There had been a time where Jimin liked him too but he didn’t know about it until now which doesn’t make the feeling last long.
He could hear his heartbeat in his ears and feel it in his throat. His rapid breathing was noticeable but that didn’t matter. Jimin’s breathing matched Taehyung’s rhythm. He finally shared the secret that he’d been holding in the back of his mind, out loud. Taehyung’s silence bothered him a bit but that was because he was anxious himself.
“Say something.” Jimin blurts out.
“I don’t… know what to say…” Taehyung tells him truthfully. He was still in shock. All this feels unreal.
Jimin coughed out a laugh incredulously. Something about him regrets sharing his feelings but it was too late anyway so he snatched the bottle from Taehyung as he feels embarrassed now and gulped the rest like he was trying to douse the searing heat in his chest except it only ignited it.
Taehyung just watched him. He thinks Jimin seems to have some power over him, where he has an ability to make him feel like he can’t move or something.
Jimin wiped the corner of his lips where the drink managed to escape and focused back on Taehyung. He could see a mix of emotions in his face.
“Don’t look at me like that…I have a high tolerance….this is just for a little buzz.”
“It’s not that.” Taehyung defends. “It’s just…I thought we were sharing” He reminds the smaller man, with a friendly smile on his face.
That alone makes Jimin’s eyes turn to crescents after he grinned. Good thing he has a backup bottle sitting on the floor beside the head of the bed. He grabs it, pretending to put it up to his mouth and then, tilts it at Taehyung with a hum.
Taehyung chucked, taking it without question and gulping down a swig or two before pulling it back, smacking at his lips of its taste. Jimin leaned forward, elbows sitting against his knees to keep him stable. He watched as Taehyung took another sip and then pointed the tip of the bottle toward him. So Jimin takes it back and gulps down another sip, placing it on the nightstand beside him after.
His eyes focused back on Taehyung and he finally noticed the gap between them. They’re only like two feet apart but he still thinks it’s too far so he scoots himself forward, enough for the gap to still be present but smaller this time. He hummed or more like made an ‘mmm’ sound. There was something familiar in the way Taehyung smelled, something he couldn’t put a finger on but he knew it was something he possibly liked.
“What?” Taehyung chucked out.
Jimin shakes his head. “Nothing..just—“ He scoots himself closer this time, inviting himself into Taehyung's space. Taehyung thinks his heart skips a beat with how close Jimin was sitting. Jimin’s head was slightly under his own. He could feel the warmth of his breath against his neck when Jimin practically pressed his nose against Taehyung’s skin and exhaled the calming sigh he breathed in. He could feel Taehyung’s gulp against his nose and it made him smile smugly.
He returned himself back upright to look at Taehyung’s expression, satisfied when his guess was right. The younger man’s face was flushed pink at his cheeks like he knew it’d be.
“You smell good.” Jimin tells him, voice low and soft, oozing like honey spilling from his lips. He followed the movement of Taehyung’s head when it turned away slightly and his cheeks rose like bread from the big boxy smile he couldn’t hide after the compliment.
“Thanks..” He says shyly.
Jimin hummed in response.
Their faces were only a few inches apart now and Taehyung wondered how they got this close so fast. He thinks he could hear Jimin’s heartbeat clearer now from how small the space between them was.
Jimin studied Taehyung’s features—thinks they’re better in detail up close. It’s not his first time seeing them but they've changed over the years. More sharper and defined. His lashes may have grown longer too—prettier even. His moles were more noticeable like this as well, such a delicate feature of his. Jimin focused on the one that sits perfectly near the end of his bottom lip. With that, he realized how close they were now too.
They kind of sit there like that, in the silence that surrounds them. Only a few seconds more and then Jimin breaks it.
“I wanna kiss you…” It slips out almost slurringly like every word almost came out as one. It was an inner thought that broke free through his lips. He realized how it sounded so he corrected himself “I mean… Can I kiss you?”
This was a moment Taehyung had probably daydreamed about a thousand times back then. Only now, this was truly happening. His breath halts at the question but it didn’t take long for him to answer with just a soft nod. There was no need for hesitation. The opportunity was there and he wanted to take it as if he were afraid it would slip away from him again.
Jimin leans in immediately after he gets the ‘okay’ but not too fast as he wanted to savor the moment. He pressed the point of his nose against Taehyung’s, using it to trace a circle around it then brush up against it before angling his head in a tilt and diving in to kiss him. He could feel the way Taehyung melts, reciprocating the kiss now. Their lips linger like that for a few seconds before Jimin pulls away to break the kiss. He doesn’t move far, his lips still ghosting over the younger man’s.
Taehyung kept himself still like he didn’t want to move away. He didn’t wanna move away. Instead he just waits to see if Jimin would kiss him again and he does.
Jimin goes back in for the second time but absentmindedly parted his lips, like it felt natural to do and then placed another kiss against Taehyung’s lips but only a peck. The suctioning of his kiss released a sweet moist sticky sound. A sound that Taehyung liked—loved a lot. Even Jimin thinks the kiss was good and was just the right amount of a suction pull to release it.
Jimin goes back in again but Taehyung beats him to it. Taehyung’s hands gradually, swiftly, cups Jimin’s face in his embrace and it was his turn to part his lips and share an open mouth kiss with Jimin, another peck, releasing yet another sweet sticky sound. And then another and another, sweet sticky pecks one by one. They were already so deep into their own kissing that the sound blaring from the tv in the living room area didn’t phase them.
Jimin’s hands glide over Taehyung’s chest until he finds the zipper of his sweater and pulls it downward, placing his hands on the inside of it at each ends of his shoulders and pulls it down his arms. He removes his sweater, a layer like a piece of candy, a sweet treat being stripped bare of its wrapper, which Taehyung absolutely was right now. A sweet treat.
Taehyung removed his hands from the embrace of Jimin’s face just to pull the rest of his sweater down his arms. Jimin takes his place, cupping his hands around Taehyung’s face now, angling his head more to the side because he thinks it’ll help with deepening the kiss more and it absolutely does. When Taehyung finally gets his sweater off all the way, he unconsciously pulls Jimin’s hands down so that he could return to holding his face again. Jimin lets him. He was too lost in the kiss to care anyway.
He could feel Taehyung pushing against his lips like he needed more and it made Jimin move back naturally but the grip Taehyung had on his face when he pulled him back was something to notice. Taehyung was hungry. Maybe even hungrier than Jimin. Taehyung kept twisting his head, tilting to each side in between a few kisses each. Jimin realized that he was not in control anymore. What he started was being taken over by Taehyung now. So naturally he just melts or lets himself be taken over and lets Taehyung do as he pleases. He shared lazier kisses the more Taehyung did the opposite.
Jimin could tell Taehyung had been waiting so long for this so his desperate need to keep going was becoming more understandable. He couldn’t imagine how much worry he suffered prior to this—how exhausting it might’ve been for him. Jimin understands him. He understands him now more than ever. How he could feel that what words on paper couldn’t say, his lips did.
Taehyung keeps at it, kissing Jimin with every chance he could take. Like each kiss would be the last. He does slow down though and before he kissed him again, he noticed Jimin’s lips weren’t moving the same way as his anymore so his open mouth ghost over Jimin’s with his breath bouncing on his lips.
Taehyung pulls back to get a look at him now and was surprised to see Jimin before him with noticeable tears sitting at the edge.
Oh.
Taehyung looked between his eyes, his own lips swollen and glossy as his chest heaves. “I’m sorry..” He apologizes breathlessly like he was sorry for getting lost in his own world with kissing that even he forgot Jimin was there for a second.
Jimin shakes his head, blinking out a tear that he couldn’t control and keep back. “For what?” He whispered hoarsely. “Don’t be…”
Taehyung uses his thumb to wipe the falling tear. “What’s wrong..?” He asked, concerned, worried now.
“Nothing…” Jimin tells him. He placed a hand at the collar of Taehyung’s pink T-shirt, gripping it tightly and pulling Taehyung closer. “Just kiss me..” He says against his lips.
Taehyung does. He continues kissing him like he asked, softer and gentler as Jimin’s kisses were still a little lazy. He waited until Jimin picked back up on a little roughness in his kissing and then he did too. Naturally, Jimin started leaning back to lay down and Taehyung followed him, chasing his pout as he adjusted himself to basically lay on top of him. Jimin’s legs were in the way though so Taehyung placed his hands on the bed at each side of Jimin’s waist to balance himself, pushing aside the papers that lingered around them, before crawling between his legs, using his hips to push them aside a little more so that he was properly laying between them.
He dove back in to kiss Jimin, one of his hands slapping against the pillow by Jimin’s head and the other griping at his waist. Jimin’s hands travel up Taehyung’s body and he finds one of them at the back of Taehyung’s blonde coloring against his nape and the other gently resting around his neck with his fingers sprawled out so that his index finger sat against Taehyung’s jawline.
Somehow the feeling of Jimin’s hand around his throat makes him eager to get a little more sloppier with the kiss so he slips his tongue in Jimin’s mouth, testing the waters to see if Jimin would reciprocate it and he immediately does. Jimin’s Tongue glides across Taehyung’s bottom lip but then he quickly does it again so that it ends up in Taehyung’s mouth like he intended. A noticeable grin comes from Taehyung between the kisses. He thinks Jimin's accident was cute.
Jimin moans into his mouth when Taehyung slides his tongue in again and It also makes Taehyung echo him. Their soft moans and sticky wet kisses occupy the once silent air. Their little sounds blend well with each other. Taehyung’s rich dark chocolate voice to Jimin’s honey. Or like a duet in a two part harmony.
Jimin grips the back of Taehyung’s hair desperately like he wanted to keep him there forever. Desperate for more of him. Taehyung finds it hot. So hot that his body uncontrollably grinds forward against Jimin and in result making Jimin delay the kiss from letting out a shuddered moan instead but he returned to latch on to Taehyung’s bottom lip, taking them between his own as he wrapped his legs around Taehyung’s waist.
He felt like his body was ready to set ablaze. Jimin was overwhelmed but in such a good way and Taehyung surely felt that too and while their moment was beautiful, at an all time high—
“Taehyung-ah?”
Taehyung froze at the sound of his name. The voice sounds like Namjoon calling to him. His mind takes him back to the reality of the world. A world he didn’t wanna be in actually. He was fine where he was but he forgot that it wasn’t just them in this beach house.
“Shit…” He muttered under his breath.
Jimin still had a hold on him, his legs hugging Taehyung’s body tighter because he couldn’t seem to let go.
“Guys?”
“Min…we have to get up.” Taehyung whispered, panicking.
Min.
A nickname that rolled naturally off of Taehyung’s tongue, one that he remembered from back then when Taehyung used to call him endearingly.
The footsteps were getting closer. Taehyung practically pleaded with his eyes for Jimin to let him go. Before he does, Jimin gives him one more sticky peck and then released his hold. pushing Taehyung off of him. Taehyung quickly adjusted himself to sit at the end of the bed again and right on time too because Namjoon walks in.
Namjoon looks at the scene before him: Jimin on one end drinking and Taehyung on the other with noticeably messy hair and his sweater missing from him and papers, maybe Taehyung’s letters scattered around the room. He tries not to read into it as much as it wasn’t his business anyway.
“You guys…aliright?”
“Mhm.” Jimin hums.
“Yeah” Taehyung answers, looking at his older friend and then at Jimin and then back at Namjoon. “Yeah, we’re good.”
“Well that’s good. The others, including me, just wanted to check up on you.” Namjoon tells them. “The movie finished and we were gonna watch another one. Just wondered if you guys would come back or not.”
Jimin springs to his feet. “Yeah, of course.” He says, walking past Namjoon with the hopes of keeping his composure like nothing happened.
Namjoon arched a brow at Taehyung, waiting for his answer.
“Oh… Yeah.” He finally does. His mind was caught up in the moment he was just in before he was interrupted but he comes back to reality for the second time. “I’m coming, just give me a minute.”
Namjoon nods at him as there were no further questions to ask, leaving Taehyung to stupidly smile at himself, pressing his fingers against his lips before letting out a chuckle. He needed a moment to recollect himself before joining the others.
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ✉︎ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
The next day came around and everyone was up bright and early even Taehyung and Jimin who didn’t get much sleep the night before. They were all sitting at the table, eating a breakfast of waffles and fruit. Really couldn’t go wrong with that. The table had some length to it, keeping the two at a distance. Jimin sat on one end while Taehyung sat at the other. The space between them was so obvious, especially to Namjoon who caught Jimin staring Taehyung down. His head turns slowly to readjust his focus on Taehyung now who couldn’t hide his smirk even if he tried.
Namjoon leaned closer toward Taehyung to whisper “Did something happen?”
Taehyung keeping his eyes on Jimin a few seconds more before looking down at his plate, shaking his head as he stabbed a fork through his waffle. “mm mm.” Is all he responded with.
After everyone finished eating Jin told them that he had a boat ride planned for them so they should start heading out soon. Everyone makes their way out of the house but Taehyung and Jimin fall behind making their interactions as brief as possible. Taehyung looks to check if the coast is clear and then plants a quick kiss on Jimin’s lips.
“We can’t hide this from them forever.” Jimin says, voice low almost in a whisper.
“I know but for now..” Taehyung pulls Jimin in by his waist. “I wanna enjoy us together alone before we share it with them.”
Jimin smiles, tippy toeing to give Taehyung a soft slow peck. “Can’t argue with that.”
Taehyung lets out a small laugh. “Just remember, we don’t have to put a label on this. Let’s just be us until then.” He reminds the smaller man in his embrace.
Jimin nods in agreement, giving him one more kiss before pushing Taehyung back playfully. “Now let’s go before they catch us.”
Taehyung hums, following the blonde out to catch up with the others.
He was content. Because after so long, after many years of waiting, Taehyung finally got his crush. He finally got his Jimin.