Chapter Text
Browning leaves sat on the windowsill and the birds outside tweeted their symphonic song. Hometown school was well into their autumn term, and it was a drag.The classroom heater was turned all the way up and the students felt it, wiping their brows as a small pangolin-like reptile scrawled away on a blackboard at the front, rambling in a nasally tone about something or other. The teens, without any education stakes, tended not to pay any heed to Ms Alphys’ ramblings, instead choosing to focus their attention on who could draw the most grotesque caricature of the class’ ‘new kid’ who recently moved to town. An armless yellow kid and an obnoxiously poofy bird creature snickered to themselves as they doodled big googly eyes on the desk drawing, including a speech bubble with ‘I stink!’ in the middle. Needless to say, apart from this new denizen, the way of life truly hadn’t changed much for a student here. In reality, the only people paying attention were a small, pensive deer girl and an arrogant bluebird.
“Hm…running low on chalk. N-now class,” Alphys resumed her ramblings whilst doodling to herself on the blackboard. It was a drawing of a cartoonish anime catgirl, but nevertheless, it was clear everybody here was bringing out their artistic side. “The butterfly effect is quite simple to explain as a hypothesis. Tiny, miniscule events can cause drastic changes to your futures. Your very fate! It’s all very interesting, so I thought to bring up in relation to your assignments.” The class let out a miserable groan. “Now, c’mon. D-don’t you all wanna stand up here and teach something? Your input may very well change the course of history in one way or another. Like it could…” She darted her eyes frantically around the room as the new girl, who was scowling down at her through her matted fringe from across the room, quietly chuckled to herself at the other teacher’s dismay. “Make you famous,” some heads perked up at this. “Or…y-you could change culture as you very well know it! Like uh…religion or something. Maybe that’s not the best example, but you all get it right?”
Another monster child donning a large pair of headphones raised her hand, “Ahhh…Temmie can change history with egg!?” The class bursted into laughter at the prospect of this crummy classwork actually meaning anything for them - a curriculum solely recommended by the mayor of the town was bound to have some ‘sucky propaganda’ towards success stories, but Alphys had really crossed the line this time. And she was about to know it.
“So what you’re saying is…” the new girl started, standing up from her desk, gritting her yellowed maw firmly. “If I make my project about how shitty of a teacher you are…I can get you fired?”
The class gasped and Alphys froze in her place, chucking nervously, “W-who knows like I said…! You m-may have a point, Susie. Hah…hah…the butterfly effect is a wonderful thing-”
“FATE DOESN’T EXIST, TEACH,” Susie grimaced, slamming her fist downwards onto the hideous drawing the other students were making of her at a nearby desk. The deer in the room piped up, startled, and fixed her gaze on the edgy lizard girl standing up for her beliefs. It was more interesting than the class to say the least. “But sure, keep yapping. I’m sure you get paid enough to, heh.”
The teacher tugged at her collar before, glancing gratuitously at the clock, “A-and with that…interesting contribution…c-class is dismissed.” Frantically, she grabbed at her equipment as the deer trotted over to help like the model student she was.
As the class started to pack up themselves, a lone human child began systematically placing 4 individual graphite pencils into their pants pocket, each one making a ‘tap’ noise as it landed in the fabric pouch. Each one aggravated the purple girl more and more to the point where she stopped storming out, and waited until the rest of the monsters left. The fact was, almost no one had shown any kindness to the girl since they arrived. The freak treatment was something designated for people the town didn’t know too well and had come from elsewhere. The place was small, everybody knew everybody. No one would have to introduce themselves again, no one would have to explain themselves for the way they were, and nobody went missing, except for the human’s older sibling merely 9 months ago.
Kris, the human in question, sat back down and blinked slowly, before sinking back into their chair and falling asleep in mere seconds. Clearly, they were exhausted from something. Susie trudged over and sniffed at the teen’s hair.
Apple-scented…
“Thank you Noelle” Alphys whispered whilst grabbing a backpack of supplies. “You don’t have to help out as much as you do.”
Noelle giggled sweetly, “I know, but I don’t have anything better to do. Mom’s at work, like always, so the gates to the house won’t be open. And big bro is- well…Dess is always busy these days. He works here, barely sleeps in the house…y’know….maybe he finally moved on.”
“O-oh,” the teacher gritted her teeth, trying to shuffle closer to the door as Susie kept glaring at the human. “Th-that’d be good for him. I’ve seen him about the school, he seems to be functioning quite well considering the circumstances. A-any leads on the…you know?”
The girl shrugged as the pair exited the room, “Not that I know of. Every time I ask about Asriel, mom…freaks the heck out and tells me ‘not to discuss it’.”
“Hm, well if she says not to…” Alphys sighed, dumping the load of work supplies in a nearby closet. “I wish someone could crack the lock on the supply closet already. There’s actual shelf-space there.”
“Yeah…” Noelle’s gaze fixed back on the doorway to her classroom. She could hear noises inside. Sneaking away from Alphys like a ninja, the deer positioned herself outside the classroom door and listened in carefully.
Susie, out of frustration for Kris’ lack of motion, stood up and knocked over her chair in the process before stomping up to the teacher’s desk and making herself comfy, resting her legs on the desk in front of her. She chuckled as, ironically enough, an apple sat on the side of the desk near her. “I do have an appetite. Heh.” The bully held it up in the air like a child winning a medal, chuckling dorkily as she did so. “HEY IDIOT!”
Kris didn’t look up, in fact the human was so far into their subconscious, there weren’t even any audible snores to be heard. Any passing monster would think they were dead. Susie knew they weren’t, she believed they were faking slumber to test her patience further. “Ugh. KRIS!”
Abruptly, the human looked up, almost rocking backwards onto the floor as they did so. Susie smirked, showing off her jagged jaw in all of its glory. “Nice shampoo, it’s…apple flavour, isn’t it?” She smugly took a bite out of half the apple, spluttering with sadistic laughter through her chewing, “Better be careful wearing that around me.” She choked a little on the seeds but masked it with more heinous verbal attacks. Kris didn’t even seem to react to the bite, only twitching their eye ever so slightly at the gesture. Their cheeks seemed to turn a deep reddish colour, but only for a moment. “What is your problem creep?! Keep smelling like apples and you’ll end up like this, you hear me?! Bitten. In. HALF! I’ll make that dead shark teacher they found near your missing sibling’s college look like a damn amateur mauling!”
There was a mere second of silence before, “Pfft…” Kris started to laugh back at her. It was slow and monotone at first, but it descended into a crescendo of emotional cackling, tears practically pouring from their eyes onto the floor as if it was the first time feeling a strong emotion in weeks.
Belittled, Susie clutched the remainder of the apple before raising and throwing it harshly towards the human. Moving inhumanly fast, they grabbed a notebook and deflected the apple into the air, grabbing in their own hand before it landed. Still peering around the doorframe, Noelle’s eyes widened at the scene, finding it rather riveting compared to the boring classwork usually occurring in the room. And then, something more interesting occurred. Licking their lips slowly, Kris took a large and flavourful bite from the apple.
“You little-” That did it. Susie stood up, once more knocking over the chair, and marched towards Kris before picking them up by half of their hair. She stared into their face, getting incredibly close until the human could practically see the ‘steam’ from Susie’s fiery temper exit her lips. Noelle blushed watching the classmates get this close.
Holy cheese and crackers! This is the sort of thing my brain is gonna play on repeat forever.
Eventually, the deer gained the ability to acknowledge the sense of danger their classmate and childhood best friend was in but she couldn’t move. A complete deer in headlights with a flurry of mixed feelings evolving into a cyclone in her skull. And then…Susie began to speak again.
“Y’know one day,” the bully started. “One day they’re gonna give up looking for your missing brother. Your Mom will realise how much of a freak of nature you are after that, maybe completely get sick of you. ” She smugly grimaced into the human’s empty eyes. “Someone might make you disappear. And then she’ll realise how much she wished it could’ve been you vanishing over that goat in the first place.” Again, Kris didn’t react to this. Susie’s facade started to falter as she attempted to use more rage to get a rise out of them, “SAY SOMETHING, GOD DAMN IDIOT.”
“I miss…her,” Kris abruptly whispered to themself, breaking their silence streak again. A loud stomp from behind them interrupted the scene, causing Susie to drop Kris entirely. Standing in front of the doorframe and a shaken up Noelle, was December Holiday with a tattered baseball bat slung over his shoulder.
He narrowed his eyes as the bully stepped further away, holding herself in a rather standoffish manner toward the buck. “Aren’t you a ray of sunshine?” Dess smirked. “You’re the new kid, right? A word of advice for you.” He slowly strutted over, and stared the scowling girl down. “Last time someone tried hurting a Dreemurr sibling, they walked away with more than just a simple black eye. Back off.”
Susie shook her head, agitated before responding, “You’re the substitute? You’re gonna lose your job for threatening a student, dick.” Noelle shook at the scene unfolding, choosing to wait by the entrance to avoid a meltdown. “Aren’t you the crazy Holiday brother who’s still struggling through a lost cause?!”
Shaking his head and folding his arms, the man seemed prepared for a childish comeback which would shut the bully up immediately. “I won’t lose my job. My mom’s the mayor, so anything to keep me out of her way. And don’t you dare call them a lost cause, unless you’re confident in what’s staring back in your own heckin’ reflection.”
The purple girl growled, then grabbed a handful of chalk from the desk before storming out of the room, making sure to shove pass Dess in the process. The substitute gave Kris a reassuring smirk but the human blanked it entirely, strolling over to Noelle’s side in preparation to be brought home by the buck.
Dess himself was immensely amused at Susie’s tough girl persona and how pathetic it felt in a school setting like this. A place like Hometown where nothing bad needed to happen at all. Getting back from college after Azzy went missing gave him time to dwell in his own grief as his body continued to change from transitioning. Dess wasn’t a happy guy despite the bodily changes, and everyone could tell.
“Alright you two,” Dess started, brushing off his camo utility vest arrogantly. “I want you both to keep a distance from that troublemaker. She’s clearly a problem for you both from what I just saw, and I don’t want you getting into any danger.”
Noelle scoffed, grabbing Kris gently by the wrist and dragging them quickly down toward the entrance, both out of a state of agitation to her brother’s overprotective attitude, as well as the potential to catch a glimpse of Susie again. “Dess, she’s clearly not got a lot of friends and hasn’t been fitting in well. Y-you’re starting to sound like mom-”
“What,” he hissed, taking off his cap and kneeling down next to the small pair. “Don’t say that to me. Never say that to me. You- you know why I’m being cautious sis…I’m- sorry if I didn’t handle it in the most mature way. I don’t want you to think I’m being like mom…I would never be as ignorant, I promise.” The irony of the situation was, Dess HAD been ignorant and avoidant for months on end now - just like his mother. The townsfolk would chat about how they think the job as a substitute is morphing him into a workaholic, how he’ll eventually end up taking over as mayor after Carol Holiday passes. Truly though, this would never be the case - not with what Dess’ focuses are on. “Hey Kris…did Susie hurt you?”
Kris blushed slightly before shaking their head awkwardly, managing to walk in a strange rhythmic crab-like manner for a while. It was as if their body had an autopilot, whilst Kris was put in the backseat.
“As long as she didn’t…I’m glad,” he sighed as the three exited the school premises and down through the town. The browning leaves crunched beneath the buck’s heavy duty work boots as he grabbed a toothpick and began fidgeting around with it within his jaw. The appearance of the more beefy physique of the deer caught everyone off guard when he returned from college, but now he’d been working from a strict military-style diet and workout routine. Looking to the woods, he could even spot some rope agility courses he had set up in the trees whilst he went about his ‘business’. Everyone was used to Dess’ seemingly hyperparanoid conspiracy mindset before his partner's disappearance but now, he was really a public nuisance with his strange behaviours. “I heard Alphys introduced the group projects to you all today. I’d prepare early as the curriculum seems to be dogshit this time around, lil’ sis.”
Noelle chuckled lightly, “Don’t worry, Birdly’s already on it, sending me a list of things that I need to do surrounding our ‘Feral Minibeasts’ study. He says it’s academic enough to make it an ‘easy-A’. I’m honestly just excited to go and look for buggies, fahah!”
“Ugh, Birdly,” Dess groaned, making a strangling motion with his gloved hands as he gave Pastor Alvin an embarrassed glare at the contextless passing gesture. “You let that boy control you too much, Elly. Is he really leaving you with all of the dirty work? Like where are you going to look for the bugs, anyhow?”
“Oh I was thinkin’ the woods,” she murmured. “It’s got a rich ecosystem and would definitely help with-”
“NO,” the boy abruptly yelled, causing the gardening neighbours to rear their nosy heads. “I- I mean, c’mon, we have p-plenty of grass space here in the town center. It’s pointless going out there.
Kris tilted their head forward, looking through their fringe at Dess, “Why?”
Noelle joined in, shooting Kris a cheeky grin, “Uh huh, how come?”
UGH, these kids. Fine. A compromise it is.
“If you go out there, stay away from the bunker and be back before 5pm,” he gruffly murmured as they arrived at the Dreemurr household. “Do we got a deal, troublemakers?”
“Deal,” Noelle beamed at her assisted success. “Thanks for seeing us back after what happened. The whole Susie thing made me feel…weird, fah.”
Dess put his hands in his pockets and shrugged in amusement, “You seemed enamoured by the situation, so it clearly wasn’t a bad weird, was it?” He grinned teasingly, noticing both Noelle AND Kris’ faces turn red. “Wait, what’s going on here?”
“UH NOTHING,” Noelle gasped. Just like that, the pair charged forward to avoid answering the buck’s questions as Toriel graciously opened the door for the group. Massaging his relatively full goatee, the perplexed deer walked forth to greet the mother. He could never read those kids very well, but it was nice to see them so excited about something - or more so Noelle was, Kris still seemed to lack the ability to emote these days.
“Greetings December, dear,” Toriel smiled, gently caressing the polished oak doorframe. “How was the stroll back from school?”
Dess made sure to maintain as consistent eye contact as possible as he snorted, “Pleasant enough…not the biggest fan of all the cameras mom put up around town but y’know-”
I always loved doing it in times of seasonal change such as this,” she interrupted. “Oh also did they both behave themselves in class? Did Kris remember to eat their fruit and give the apple to Alphys-”
Dess grunted, narrowing his vision, “A purplish runt was terrorising Kris today.” He jerked his head to theright after hearing a quiet rustling in the trees before regaining his focus on the now-concerned parent. “I…handled it though, don’t worry.”
Toriel hugged Dess suddenly, “Th-thank you for keeping them out of trouble. I just…I know it’s a lot for you to deal with so many responsibilities these days after Azzy-”
“I like keeping myself occupied,” he interjected, pulling away from the goat’s physical affection. It felt wrong having her hold him like that. Familiar. “The rotter is called Susie, anyhow. Heard of her?”
Toriel frowned sourly, “Oh my I- I’ve m-met her!”
“Then you must agree that she’s definitely someone we should keep little Krismas away from?” The buck stomped his hooves on the doorstep to dislodge some unwanted leaf-related buildup. “And Elly too. After everything they- they deserve to live an anguish-free childhood.”
“I do agree,” she nodded. “But please make sure to ease up on Susie. She’s on her own and doesn’t seem to have many friends. Remember when you had that struggle?”
He chuckled, “I can’t guarantee I won’t punish her if I see her doing something like that again but…I sure do remember…” Turning to leave, Toriel places an arm on his shoulder causing Dess to recoil slightly. “W-what’s up, Miss Dreemurr?”
“Are you sure you don’t want to spend a little longer with the children?” she pried. “I know you spend a lot of your day with my old class. But this house hasn’t been as lively since the Holidays used to visit as often as they did. Not to mention…ugh…Asgore. And Asriel as well, wherever my child may be-”
“Nah. Full of busy, as uzhe,” he confirmed, looking at his digital wristwatch shiftily. “School cleanin’ duty is scheduled for now. I have my routine and I stick to it - no matter how many days have gone by, that’s how it’ll be for me. Maybe…next weekend?”
Toriel simply sighed before retreating back inside, leaving the buck outside alone in the cold air. Abruptly he starts marching back towards the school with a date clearly in his mind for a certain locked closet.
-
“Oh, great,” Flowey smirked, from atop a stack of oversized boulders. “You’re here. Took you long enough. What’s the matter, did you forget where the interdimensional veil between realities was or something?”
Dess grunted as he acknowledged his chunky military getup shifting into that of a fantasy bard, complete with guitar as he felt his bat shift in his hands. “It’s called a job. Ever heard of it, petals?”
“I seem to recall that I-…Azzy was doing the rounds while you stayed in your room and got high,” the flower smugly chided. “Or did the clouds of smoke also cloud up that head of yours?!” The roughed up diary of the buck’s lover taking the shape of an immensely rude, and dickheadish flower was less than ideal for getting the information he wanted about where Azzy could’ve possibly gone off to. Every time he tried to grab the weed and return it to the world of light, it would ‘shloop’ into the floor, out of the boy’s reach. “Keep pushing me, and you won’t get yours truly’s excellent rendition of my contents. I know that’s the only reason you even visit.”
“This place is a nightmare to be in,” Dess growled whilst gesturing to the distant, yet prominent, pillar of light in the distance. “I’ve been staying out of the King’s force’s vicinity for the sake of avoiding the ‘Are you The Knight?’ querying. It’s getting tiring hearing that I’m part of some prophecy.”
Forming to vines from the floor, Flowey rests their ‘chin’ on the smooth stems out of frustration, “Who knows, maybe it’ll pay off. It sounds to me like you’re a big deal to these folks - maybe you’ll be rich if you turn yourself in, hah! Although I’d be rich with material to tease you about if it turned out to be a trap~”
“Shut up. Otherwise I’ll make you hurt by bringing up those final entries,” he hissed, taking a step forth. “You’re scared of me finding out something about Asriel - you have been since you met me. It’s a burden that the only thing that can interpret whatever lies between all those scribbled out sections of paper is you. But I reckon you underestimate how much I’m willing to torture a fucking herb.”
Taken aback, Flowey laughed nervously before shuffling closer to Dess. “Okay, okay! Then I won’t tease you as much, handsome. A soulless flower formed from darkness could use some r&r after being alone…again…for days on end. It ain’t my fault it’s easier for me to ‘express myself’ through making you scrunch up your face in that adorable way.
Scoffing at the imitation’s flirting, the buck crossed his legs and sat focused, ready to listen to the weed’s ramblings. “Right. Sorry to keep you in limbo,” Dess grunted, maintaining an avoidant gaze. “Kris was getting picked on at school today - I had to intervene.”
Flowey gritted their teeth, “That’s a fair reason in my books. Well- book, hah. I…miss them alot, I hope they’re doing alright without me.
“You aren’t Azzy,” he hissed once more, his eyes fixed on the critters stem as if preparing to clasp it and squeeze as hard as possible. “Stop talking like you are, you little shit.”
“F-fine,” Flowey sighed solemnly. “But…if you wouldn’t mind telling me. Is Kris okay? The rascal’s alright I- I mean?!-”
Dess tutted before throwing his guitar in the air and watching it shift into a sword, before catching it smugly. “Yeah- yeah. I mean- they’ve been off since Az went missing. Always vacant from every conversation, and they never open up about anything. I assume it’s a grief thing, so I’m hoping that when…when I find them…the kid will cheer up again. Some little shit named Susie is the one picking on them. She was threatening to bite their face off…and they didn’t do anything to defend themself.”
The flower sulked, “Y’see if I were there, I would’ve had mom expel that little-”
“You. Aren’t. Azzy,” Dess repeated. “I won’t fill you in on anything until you get that through your thick pages. You’re just an asset for getting them back.”
“Pchh- I know! A-anyways…the entry. Dear Diary…” Vague words began moving across the yellow petals, going into the ‘face’ segment of the plant, as Flowey’s face transformed into that of Asriel’s, to purposefully antagonise the deer even further.
“Today was interesting. I broke up with Dess like I wanted to, and it hurt just like I thought it would. But it needed to be done. She’s clearly getting up in her own head about something like I am in mine, and some distance would probably do us some good. It’ll let us ‘flourish’, as mom always said - whatever that means! She seemed…distressed at it…but didn’t resist it much. Maybe they felt the same as me? I mean- probably not, because the way I feel can’t be explained in a way which makes sense. She seems to hate her chest alot so her binder helps them feel better with that. Me on the other hand? I don’t think I have MANY features that I hate. I mean- it’s manageable, so it’s not the same as what Dess has going on. The constantly dull feelings of waking up and existing as Asriel Dreemurr are an enigma even the greatest detective couldn’t crack! Then again…after the stuff with Milo, I can’t help but feel a little guilty…and paranoid at how much everything… made sense! And now I’m worried that Dess will find out. I hope not…whatever I and Milo did needs to be kept a secret. I don’t even understand the emotions I felt when we spent all that time together and dressed in those-”
“Hey, why’d you stop?” Dess called out to the mimicking seedling. “They dressed in what…?!
Flowey arrogantly scoffed, forming his regular face once more, “That’s all they wrote - well, without scribbling out the rest that is.”
Lunging towards the plant, angry at the implications of Azzy hiding so many things from him that he had no knowledge of, the buck immediately hit the dirt as the flower vanished. “Son of a- y’know what, there’s plenty of explanations for Azzy’s woes. They confided in me enough about em’. ALL of them, hahah! Maybe they were gonna work at Ice-e’s as a backup plan to college if they didn’t get in so were dressing up in the uniform with Milo- Pizzapants…Pizzapants. That pricks got a lot to answer for. They know something that can help me find them-”
“You always refer to the goat as them,” the flower chirped, appearing behind the distressed mammal. “Maybe your intuition behind your claimed amnesia is trying to tell you something. Or maybe not, maybe I just haven’t heard you call them ‘him’ yet. Go on.”
Dess clambered to his feet, brushing off his patchwork trousers and chuckling in a rather erratic manner, “Fine. I’ll find him. Happy!? I wondered why myself…He’s……it doesn’t…feel…”
“It doesn’t feel right,” Flowey replied, knowingly. “Thought so. Aaaaaanyways I’m gonna go mess around with the King’s son - he’s a blast to entertain. Cya, handsome.”
And just like that, the buck was alone, again as he shakily walked back to the exit point of the dark world, rising into the air and feeling the heavy-duty vest press against his torso - left with more questions than answers with yet another recital of the diary’s contents.
-
After finally slamming the broom against the back wall of the temp storage closet, Dess strolled back to his temporary ‘base of operations’ - Toriel’s old classroom. He blinked repeatedly towards the golden rays of the sun shining through the window as distant memories of a blonde monster lady floated through his brain. Weird. He knows he must’ve cheated on Asriel, and that’s why the memories of this woman were extra persistent in his griefful thoughts. But it had been a long while since he thought about the individual. Dess didn’t even know why he did, as specific physical details and what she was even like through him for a loop. Azzy on the other hand, he believed to have known like the back of his hand.
“I can’t remember her face,” he anxiously muttered to himself whilst taking a brief rest on the rotating chair at the front of the room, opening the draw in front of him as he attempted to force a smirk upon his face. “And that’s probably a good thing. It’d probably make me feel worse if I did, fah!”
Grasping the childish crayon illustration his class had drawn that past week between his hooves, Dess got a whiff of the clayish, soapish scent which made up the pencils. Scoffing slightly at the memories of babysitting Kris and Noelle with Azzy made Dess well up.
“G-goddamn it Azzy!” he yelled, tossing the drawings into the air as the sheets turned into a flurry of white around him. “Where are you hidin’, huh? It’s clear there’s…things I don’t know…or thought I knew. Did you move somewhere? G-go offgrid…? Become somebody else…?”
He didn’t have time or energy left for tears, and the buck knew that. It was his creed over the past year. Emotions were known to get everyone caught up in it all to the point where their life would fall into ruin. Productivity breeds more productivity, however, and THAT is why Dess was still actively searching. He knew that if he could keep himself as busy as possible, the clues would eventually find their way to him. Or maybe that’s what he told himself so that he didn’t end up like everyone else apparently did. Hopeless.
“Hah….you have to come back to me, sweetheart. I- I don’t know how long I can…” he trailed off, stunned by his own slight spiral in a school classroom of all spaces.
Good thing I’m not doing this on the job. Maybe I oughta quit with the substitute teaching if this gets worse.
Truthfully, Dess had been fluctuating between motivated detective to bawling mess more and more recently as the instability and doubt crept in from the corner of his minds…slowly but surely. The idea of giving up was horrifying but was starting to feel more freeing the further into the wild goat chase he got.
Nostalgic reminiscing about memories from college and childhood wasn’t going to assist in finding Asriel. The room was very ‘spacey’, as one of the older kids of Dess’ class had recently put it. And it was true - not many parents sent their kids into the education of ‘paranoid schizo Dess Holiday’, so there was only about seven or eight desks laid out in rows of two down the centre - each with a laminated nametag drawn in an exaggerated cursive font, which Mr Holiday (What Dess himself was still not used to being called for both trans reasons, as the expectation of it being used to refer to his father) had made himself.
He stared down the middle of the room for a while, completely dissociating until he swore he could feel his own hair start tickling his neck in a recognisable way. It didn’t feel like his own; it was…too curly…too long…too soft, but similar to someone he knew. He lingered on the sensation, kicking up his legs and moving his hair upwards, blinking slowly at the humming ceiling light.
It was normal for Dess’ sense of memory and reality to come crashing down and overlapping like this; a personal theory for why there seemed to be an entire fantastical kingdom of board games located in the storage closet. Explanations needed to be the key to everything, or he would have to accept he truly had been off the deep end for a long time.
He found himself blushing as the sensations around his body felt even more intense, like a force was pressing him into the chair. Between blinks into the blinding LEDs, more and more multicoloured ‘dots’ built up in front of the buck’s vision; dancing around in a cyclone of kaleidoscopic manner.
Sweat began to drench the shirt from beneath the added weight of the vest. He felt stunned, and strangely aroused as his body began to feel sedated - more so than his usual consumption of marijuana would do anyways.
He’d hardly learnt anything about the disappearance of Asriel Dreemurr, so it was moments like this, where he believed it was a sign for his body to have its rest. Also he hadn’t slept at all in a couple of days and was running off of weed and caffeine.
This relief from the jitters made the boy start to laugh softly whilst adjusting himself in the chair. He was alone after all…it had been a long day hadn’t it?
“Howdy, Dess.”
“There you are,” Dess chuckled at the voice he knew very well was in his own head, scrunching his eyes shut so his own delusion wouldn’t shatter. “Y-you caught me at an awkward t-time…hah…m…mind staying with me?”
“Of…course,” the voice replied again, as Dess felt a tickling hand rest on his face.
Being on his own for this long, the buck couldn’t help but have his mind wander to this state again and again. He needed to fulfil his urges, especially when everything felt so heightened on testosterone, and the magical properties of his own body changed from that testosterone. He began to go faster when the voice returned.
“You’re doing your best, sweet boy,” the voice teased as Dess could almost feel two lips brush against his cheek. “But you won’t find me…”
Dess snapped back to a more aware state, “Huh…what?” Attempting to wipe away at his flushed state he listens in to the speaking. It sounds a lot more audible than simply in the deer’s psyche as it repeats ‘find me’ louder and louder. Dess finds his breathing increasing, his heart racing from his headspace being completely fucked with over his own trauma from his lost partner.
"Find me. Find me. Find me. FIND ME!"
The humming from the lights had stopped.
It could have been an outage. But it wasn’t.
Dess opened his eyes wide in a state of terror. It was much darker, but it was rather from a blockage instead of the lights going out entirely. A black mass was consuming the light above completely with its angular torso and spindly limbs curled up like a pouncing tarantula around the mammal.
He squirmed in his static position, shivering as a long neck moves forth a shape resembling a head with two twisted horns erupting from the top; a drooling jaw where its face was supposed to be. It stares silently at him for a beat, breathing heavily. The life of the room seemed to be fully absorbed by the black abstract as it shifted ever closer.
Before he could even concern himself with how close the entity was getting, his survival instincts of the ‘flight’ response kicked in as he broke his own trance and sprinted down the dingy hallway and out into the night. His own heavy breathing made him think he was going to die but he couldn’t stop, not with whatever he saw behind him.
Many ‘safe spots’ had been recommended by his mother Carol for his ‘anxious breakdowns’ other the past few months but none had made Dess feel as secure as that classroom. He could feel the air press against his fringe as he made it outside and sprinted down the road, eventually making it to a streetlamp.
“Fuh…FUCK,” he screeched. “I’ve really gone and done it n-now.” Dess clawed at his face as he attempted to maintain any sort of composure to not make a passerby assume he’s an escaped asylum resident…even if that’s along the lines of what they were thinking anyways. “It’s not real…I’ll find you…it’s not real…I’ll find you…it-”
“Hey, buddy, are you doing okay?” A voice whispered from behind the buck.
“Angel damn it!” Turning on his heels, Dess froze up at the sight of a pair of pointed cat ears and instinctively threw his fist towards the figure.