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You laid on your bed with a certain circus performer nestled comfortably against your chest. A soft ‘purring’ like sound could be heard from him. It was fairly late at night for you, roughly 10pm, you fortunately didn't have work in the morning so you indulged in some night-time cuddling with your favorite monstrous performer. You remember when you first saw Pierrot’s face, his black skin and tufts of soft fur, how flat his nose was compared to a human, or even the tail he kept hidden from you. You were definitely scared, but you got used to it, and even found yourself seeing him in a more adorable light because of it. Getting used to it became something you did a lot these past few weeks.
‘Adorable’ you thought to yourself. The scene was infact, very cute. Pierrot often reminded you of a cat, with how possessive he was of you.
But alas, not all things stay calm. A stray thought entered your head as you looked down to meet the eyes of your lover.
“Would you still love me if she were alive?”
It was the next day and it's safe to say you felt like a douche asking someone you love whether they would still love you if their previous partner were still alive. You pretty much grabbed those closed wounds and ripped them open again. Pierrot wasn't mad at you per-say, more just sadder. You chose to avoid the circus since you didn't want Jester to turn you into a fool, or ticket taker to trap you in the mirror world filled with your worst nightmares, or Doctor bisecting you—you got the picture.
Last night Pierrot just stared at you after you asked that for a good 5 minutes before pressing you into a suffocating hug and then just… leaving.
You felt guilty about that, but you also didn't know how to apologize to him. Well, you did, but you couldn't just walk into the circus and be like,
“Hi Pierrot! So, so so soooooo sorry about reminding you of your dead lover! Do you still want to date??”
you knew it wouldn't go like that, but you didn't want to be any more of a bitch to him than you already were.
Shaking your head you pumped yourself up to meet him at the circus. It was roughly 7pm by the time you arrive, the Moon and a blanket of stars have overtaken the Sun as you arrive to find the usually busy macabre circus… closed?
‘Strange… Ticket Taker is usually very punctual with opening the circus…’ you quietly thought to yourself as you stood there before the sign.
Despite this oddity you entered, raising your legs over the waist high barrier. These don't really do much to deter intruders, although, knowing what the circus members do for fun and… and the existence of the fools, these pathetic defenses are probably poor by design.
You wonder around the empty grounds, you've never seen the circus so quiet. You've always seen Fools doing set up, Ticket Taker and Jester discussing plans, Doctor… lurking, Pierrot and Harlequin handing out poster or hanging out—or fighting each other for your love and attention… it's often that last one.
But currently the circus was like a ghost town, all the tents were lifeless and the Fools were nowhere to be seen. At first you thought that they left, for that single moment you thought your heart stopped until you noticed a truck was parked nearby. So, they didn't leave, then where were they?
You continued wondering until you heard hushed conversation near a couple trailers, no doubt for the main members of the circus. You've seen them before, but we're never let in. You guessed it was because they originally never trusted you with their true selves. As you walked closer to the trailers you noticed the lights coming from in them, you mentally prepared your many, many apologies to your lover. Unfortunately all the mental preparation was made moot when you turned the corner and saw the circus members standing around Pierrot… and a woman—no, another monster.
She was a lot more human looking than the rest, the only difference from you was the ram like appearance she has. She was beautiful too, like, idol-star gorgeous. And Pierrot was hugging her, his mask and hat tossed to the side as they both cried tears of joy in your heart. The other members of the circus also had their masks off, except for Jester and Ticket Taker, unsurprising.
They trusted this woman, and you knew why, this was Columbina… Pierrot’s formerly long-passed lover and the woman that held all of Harlequin’s envious desire. You saw the look in the green, serpentine monster’s eyes. You saw how jealous that Pierrot was hugging her first, how they trusted each other to be vulnerable with one another. And you? You felt something break, you almost wanted to laugh from the painful irony. Columbina coming back after asking that idiotic question the night before? Guess karma is real!
You didn't laugh, though. Silent tears rolled down your eyes onto the ground below as one thought rushed though your mind like a spike.
‘So this, is Pierrot’s answer?’ and so you ran, you didn't care if you were caught by the only two clowns that weren't caught up in their emotion. You just didn't care anymore, you felt a kind of love and appreciation that you haven't felt in forever, and it was ripped from you. It felt like your heart was ripped out, flesh tubes and all.
You stumble over yourself as tears fill your vision, you're barely able to hobble over the barrier as a pained sob rips itself from your throat. You collapse onto your knees as the rush of emotions drown you under their weight.
You felt a kind of betrayal you haven't felt since your last partner, that was years ago, long before you met Pierrot, before you even moved into this city. You were hoping that you never had to feel it again but, but this time it felt different. You almost felt like you deserve it. Not only were you insensitive to Pierrot the night before, you've never seen Pierrot that safe with someone before, not even you, she was also beautiful, like an angel. Compared to you, she was an angel. You weren't ugly, but you didn't have a thin body like hers, you had the body of a woman that lives a sedentary life, struggles with getting up every morning, and works customer service… It was a painfully easy choice for anyone.
You were barely able to carry yourself to your apartment before collapsing into your bed and sobbing into your favorite pillow. Crying yourself to sleep, and for the first time in a while, slept undisturbed.
It's been two days and no sign of Pierrot nor Harlequin. The only sign of any life from the circus being the many Fools passing out fliers for a new performance at the circus—no doubt for Columbina. You were glad that she was able to adapt quickly to how her friends lived now. She must be so happy with their new found freedom. You were finishing up work, closing for the night, you decided to go to the circus again. You wanted to see this new performance.
You finished cleaning the last dishes before leaving them to dry, all that you have left to do is; taking out the trash, turning off the lights, and locking up. You grab the different trash bags from around the shop and tie them up, dragging them out back to toss into the big dumpster in the alley back out… you felt eyes on you. Not the same feeling you usually get when you feel watched, less object of obsession vibes and more stalked prey. You look around you before seeing a silhouette in the darkness, it looks like a fairly well built person. Tall with broad shoulders. You quickly duck inside and lock the back door before rushing to the front entrance and turning the deadbolt latch to lock the door. You waited behind the counter for a good five minutes before getting to your feet and checking the street view outside of the cafe. There were a few people walking outside the lit streets, no doubt checking that new circus performance. You let out a heavy sigh of relief as you quickly turned the lights off and left the cafe to join the small crowd.
It was cold out, unfortunate since you left your coat at work in your panic to leave the cafe. You were still in your usual choice of clothes and your apron. However you took the pins that both Pierrot and Harlequin had given you. You felt it… inappropriate to wear them now. You were shocked to find the circus busier than usual, yet Ticket Taker was still the first person any guest would meet before entering the macabre circus.
When you finally reached the front of the line you took out the red ticket only to hear the blue-suited man let out a small ‘tsk’ sound.
“Unfortunately dear Red-Ticket, this ticket has lost its warranty.” You could hear how he cooed to you like you were a small animal.
“Not to worry dear, I have a solution,” you could feel a small smile in his voice as he produced a pink ticket in-between his fingers, “I am most assured this shall survice?”
You let out a small gasp and nod. He hands you the ticket, it was the same kind of ticket that a strange black-haired man gave to you a few weeks ago. Funny how that small gift led to… this. Ticket Taker chuckles humorlessly as he punches your ticket and hands it back.
“This ticket gives you access to the pink tent, if you're ever curious of what's inside.” He says slyly. You ignore him, mostly focused on seeing this new performance. Apparently it's in the biggest tent, Pierrot's tent.
As you enter you find that most of the seats are full, forcing you to stand by the entrance, not giving you much view of the ground. At first you're fairly huffy at the prospect of missing the performance until the lights dim, leaving two spotlights on the ground to illuminate a pair of performers on a tightrope, Pierrot and Columbina. They weren't on one end or the other, but right in the middle, hand in hand.
Columbia had her own costume fashioned for her. It was similar to that of the Fools but with white highlights and rose-gold accents. She had a jester-like hood that covered her horns well and a small cape that covered her shoulders and arms, and lastly a custom mask, it mirrored Pierrot's…
You watched their performance begin as music began and watched with held breath as they danced in sinque with each other, both splitting off to different platforms. Their shadows cast against the top of the tent. They stopped at the platforms Columbina reached down and grabbed a trapeze swing with both hands and jumped from the platform with a graceful dive. She started out with “simple acrobatics” before swinging upside-down and wrapping her knees over the bar as Pierrot jumped himself, your breath hitched. He was as graceful as the angelic girl, he did the same maneuver as Columbina. As they both reached the middle their hands stretched out, the moment their fingers interlocked with Columbina and he pulled her into his arms as she positioned the top of her feet on the bar, Pierrot did the same as they started moving from one bar to the other in a midair waltz. You've never seen nor heard of such a thing being performed, of course such an amazing display of skill and artistry was met with cheers and applause—you didn't move, you simply watched slack jawed. Yeah, you could never compare to Columbina. The amount of trust and love Pierrot has in this girl made you feel like you were nothing but a replacement for her.
You left the tent before the performance was over, your emotions starting to overtake you. You knew the infamous “Freak Circus of Horrors”(™) was about to move again, by the end of the week most likely. They were giving a final encore to the newfound fans within this city. You rushed past guests, fools, shoving Harlequin who couldn't even get a snide comment out before you rushed out of the circus grounds. Air, you needed air and a space to think for yourself. You heard yelling, you didn't care, your feet thudding against gravel turned to asphalt before you
noticed the headlights and the blaring horn—
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