Chapter Text
Sven’s grip was tight on Rune’s wrists. He buried his face into the sweaty nape of his lover’s neck. His lips brushed against the tender skin, drawing an exited gasp from the other man.
“More.”
Without thinking, Sven sank his teeth into Rune’s skin. That was all Rune needed. His orgasm drowned out all other sensations. When he regained control of his senses, he noticed the total blackness they were in.
“Sven?”
“My angel of darkness-”
“I think the power is out.”
Finally, Sven looked up from Rune’s shoulder.
“Damn, you’re right.”
“Weird. It’ll probably be back on tomorrow.”
“Can I keep going?”
Rune let his head fall into pillow.
“I would be insulted if you didn’t.”
As most mornings, Sven woke up first. The cold made him stay under the blanket for a while, huddled against Rune’s naked form. After he smoked a cigarette, he found his way to the bathroom and stepped into the shower. The second the water hit his skin, he jumped right back out with a yelp. It felt like the water had come directly from a freezing lake.
“Is everything okay?”
Rune called from the bed.
“The water is ice cold. I don’t think the power is back on yet.”
Rune groaned and pushed the blanket aside. Still naked, he walked to the light switch and flicked it.
“I think we have a problem.”
After Sven washed himself at least somewhat and they both got dressed, Rune went to ask some of the neighbors what was up. The first two didn’t open when they heard Rune’s voice. Only Mrs. Sorensen, a half deaf, half blind elderly woman that lived one floor down, opened for him.
“Oh, the young lady from upstairs. Did your boyfriend propose to you already?”
“Uhm. No, not yet.”
“I knew one of those guys once. They’re no good, don’t let Sven use you.”
“Thank you for the advice. Did you hear something about a power outage?”
“Yes, the lights don’t work anymore. My son came over already, he said that there was some issues with some cable thing. I don’t know much about this stuff but he said it will probably take a while to get fixed. He said that he will pick me up later.”
“Thank you. If you need anything in the mean time, just ask.”
“Oh, I’ll be fine, when I was younger, we only had wool blankets and thick clothes during winter.”
Sven had thrown a blanket over his shoulders to stay warm.
“And?”
“Total black out. We should probably find a place to stay.”
“Shit. Your apartment is probably also out of power. You know what that means.”
“That fucking couch in Jan and Jørn’s basement.”
“Fucking couch is probably correct. I would bet money that Freya was conceived on that thing. I’ll call them and ask.”
“How?”
“Mobile phone.”
Jan sounded beyond tired but he agreed to let them stay. They grabbed some clothes, Rune’s guitar, and their blanket and pillow. Luckily, after shoveling the snow off, Sven’s beat up car still started.
Rune took the spare key from under the mat and opened the door. Freya sat on the couch, watching cartoons. She still wore a pair of long terry pajamas. Behind her was a yet un-decorated Christmas tree. When she noticed the two men, she looked rather confused.
“Why are you here?”
“There’s a black out. We just need a place to crash for a few days.”
Rune noticed the confusion in Freya’s eyes.
“Don’t crash. Not in our living room.”
“No, Freya, we’re just going to sleep in your basement. Your dad knows.”
Sven couldn’t help but smile at the relief the little girl showed.
“Why are you here? Don’t you have school?”
“It’s winter break, I don’t have school.”
“Oh, right. Where’s Jørn?”
“Dad wanted to buy some bread and stuff.”
“Hey Freya, how about Rune and I bring our stuff into the basement and then we’ll go build a snowman or something?”
“Oh yea! I’ll go get dressed.”
Their luggage was quickly put away. Rune decided to stay inside and work on some bass parts. He could see his boyfriend and Freya play in the snow. The bright smile on Sven’s lips moved something inside of him. The vocalist rarely smiled and even those smiles were laced with something bitter and sad. The only other time he seemed so happy was when he played with his own daughter.
A car pulled into the driveway. Jørn, wrapped into a thick coat and hat, admired the snowman before bringing a bag of groceries into the house.
“What are you two doing here?”
“Black out. We’d probably freeze to death in Sven’s or mine apartment. We thought we’d save you the trouble of finding new coworkers.”
“I guess my boyfriend is still asleep?”
“Dead on. I put some stuff together for you. Might want to take a look at it.”
“I’m gonna put the groceries away and then you can torture me with music theory.”
Rune made Jørn learn some of what he had written. The bassist was only put out of his misery when his daughter and Sven came back inside. Their cheeks and noses were red and both of them were shivering.
Jørn instantly volunteered to make them some hot chocolate, mostly to get away from Rune. Sven cuddled up to his lover. As sensation slowly returned to her fingers, Freya took tiny sips of her hot chocolate. She didn’t care for what the adults were talking about. She also didn’t notice Sven sneaking a shot of vodka into his mug.
Even though they tried to be as quiet as possible, Jan eventually came down stairs. He seemed surprised to see his band mates.
“Uhm… Why are you here?”
“I called you to ask if we can stay over.”
“Guess I can’t kick you out now.”
The drummer rubbed his face, seemingly disappointed with himself.
“There’s some hot chocolate on the stove for you.”
“Hey, did you build a snowman?”
“Yea, with Sven. It’s at least minus 400 degrees outside.”
“Really? That cold? Why don’t you look at the thermometer?”
Freya put her mug on the table and looked at the thermometer that hung on the outside window sill.
“It says minus 5. That’s also cold.”
She cuddled into her father’s lap.
“On your first Christmas, it was even colder. The lowest temperature was minus 10 degrees.”
“Yea but I don’t remember that so it doesn’t matter. I was like… zero years old.”
“Are you two going to stay for Christmas?”
Jørn took the last sip of his hot chocolate.
“Well, my ex and my kid are staying with her parents and, you know, my apartment doesn’t have electricity or warm water, so…”
“We get it, Sven, we’re not gonna kick you out. If you got sick, you couldn’t sing anymore but don’t over do it.”
“Thank you, great Hellhammer, that by your grace, I may survive the winter.”
“You’re over doing it.”
Jan emptied his mug
“Come on, sweety, let’s decorate the tree.”
Under the command of his daughter, Jan brought the boxes in which the ornaments were stored from the basement. Together, they hung the glass ornaments on the branches of the still fresh fir. Freya frequently changed her mind on where exactly the individual pieces should hang. By the time they got done, it was almost dinner time.
“Do you want to put the star on top?”
“Yes.”
Freya grabbed the glass star and Jan took her onto his shoulder. With baited breath, she put the star on the top of the tree.
Sven felt a tug in his chest. It wasn’t pain but an intense feeling of melancholy and jealousy. He would give almost anything to be decorating a Christmas tree with his daughter. Before Jan caught him staring too much, Sven decided that he should probably go somewhere else. As gracefully as he could in his somewhat tipsy state, he made his way down into the basement and huddled onto the couch.
He let his head fall backwards. The quiet, chilly basement felt more suitable for him than the living room. He knew exactly why his ex didn’t want him around their daughter. Sven pulled the flask from his back pocket. Even though everyone knew how much he drank, he still felt like he should hide it, at least when kids were around.
The metal was scratched up but it fit into his hand nicely. His parents had gifted it to him as a graduation gift. It felt almost cynical. The flask was supposed to be a symbol of sophisticated maturity fit for a philosopher. In reality, it only fueled his drinking problem.
On one side was an engraved wood grouse. His father said it represented an unbreakable will and strength. In their attempts to attract a mate, they also sang until they became deaf and forgot everything around them. That felt more fitting.
Sven unscrewed the lid of the flask. It was filled with the hardest stuff he could find in his cabinet while Rune talked to the neighbors. The warm vodka burned it’s way down his throat. He knew that he was only making his situation worse but the alcohol was the only solace currently available to him.
The door opened. Sven barely payed attention to Rune as he sat next to him.
“I brought you something to eat.”
Sven looked at the two slices of bread. One with cheese and one with jam.
“Thanks.”
“Did you drink?”
Sven didn’t want to answer for fear of slurring.
“You ate nothing today. At least try a few bites.”
For the first time since waking up, Sven noticed his empty stomach. He grabbed the slice with cheese on it.
For a while, Rune watched his boyfriend eat and stare into nothing. He finished the first slice and went for the second.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Sven sighed heavily. He almost immediately cringed at himself.
“It’s Christmas and instead of spending it with my child, I’m sitting in a cold basement on a couch that hasn’t seen a wet rag since some Nazi chick squirted on it six years ago.”
“Yea, this sucks but you could also sit a freezing apartment with a couch that hasn’t seen a wet rag since I got fucked in the ass on it last week.”
“Very funny.”
Sven put the flask to his lips again.
“Do you think I can do something to help you?”
“Not really. It’s all my fault.”
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s true. If I wasn’t such a loser, neither of us would have to be here right now. I don’t even have a job because I can’t work. In fact, the only things I can muster to do all day are sleeping, drinking, crying and masturbating. I drive everyone away. If was you, I would have run for the hills forever ago.”
“Don’t say that. You didn’t fuck up the power grid.”
“But I fucked up our lives. You said so yourself.”
For his own standards, Sven was basically sober. What little alcohol was in his veins decided to make him braver than ever before.
“When?”
“Last week, the week before that… You called me a loser, said that you hate me and never want to see me again.”
Rune pushed his hair back.
“I can’t remember that.”
“You were high but that doesn’t make it less true.”
Sven put the flask to his lips again. Before he could take a sip, Rune grabbed his arm.
“Listen, Sven, we both have problems and if we just keep trying to drown them in alcohol and speed, it will be our end.”
Rune noticed the look in Sven’s eyes. He didn’t believe a word he was saying.
“I’m sorry. I love you.”
Sven closed his eyes. He wanted to believe Rune. If he was entirely honest, he couldn’t afford not to.
“What about a deal? For as long as it takes to get out of this basement, I will cut back on drinking and you will cut back on drugs and you’ll stop yelling at me.”
“Deal.”
“Let’s how long we’ll last.”
Finally, Sven screwed the lid back onto the flask. Rune was relieved. He pressed a kiss to Sven’s cheek.