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The thing about Alejandro Burromuerto is that Noah is fucking onto him.
How could he not be? The guy isn't subtle, everyone else is just too susceptible to flattery. A wink here, a compliment there, and all of a sudden people are blind to the fakeness of his smile and the way his eye twitches when they call him Al. Team Victory are dropping like flies and yet nobody thinks it's strange that Alejandro is fond of cosying up to Victory's members like he considers them closer acquaintances than his own team. Noah has seen all of this, because he's a lot more perceptive than Alejandro has given him credit for, so he knows full well that the eel is not to be trusted.
The other thing about Alejandro Burromuerto is that he is infuriatingly hot.
Luckily Noah knows he won't be considered weird for thinking so, because most of the girls as well as Tyler and Owen agree with him. Not that anyone knows Noah finds Alejandro hot—his natural expression is disinterest, so it's easy to fake it—but it's still an objective fact. What makes it worse is that Alejandro is also good at what he does, both as a team leader and as a manipulator, and unfortunately Noah is into competence and mean competitive drive which means Total Drama's newest villain happens to be his exact type.
So he may be crushing on a guy he can't trust. Pitiful, but manageable.
It gets harder to manage when Alejandro starts showing affection towards Noah himself.
It starts in the Amazon, and it starts small. They stop to set up camp for the night and Alejandro assigns everyone to different jobs, placing Noah and himself on firewood collecting duty. As the others split off, Noah makes a joke about finally having some peace and quiet that Alejandro laughs at.
"Those three are…energised," he agrees, which is clearly the nicest thing he can think to say. It speaks to his true character but Noah can't really blame him—they were all being driven a little crazy from the walk. "Come, Noah. I trust you know what to look out for."
The moment passes quietly but Noah takes note of it: the way Alejandro acknowledges his intelligence and trusts him to carry out the task without needing to be micromanaged. And when they're ready to head back and Noah is struggling to carry a pile half the size of Alejandro's, the eel simply chuckles at him, moves a portion of Noah's firewood to his own pile and saunters back towards the others with a call of, "Excellent work as always, cerebrito."
In Paris, the mask starts slipping in front of him. Alejandro makes a quip about Lindsay that is low enough to only be meant for Noah's ears, and Noah wonders if Alejandro did it to get closer to him or just because he felt like he could. Throughout the challenge Noah puts in more effort than usual (because he knows exactly what happened to Owen in the Amazon and he does not want to meet a similar fate) and earns himself an unexpectedly sweet reward: Alejandro regarding him with pride and a hint of awe.
"I will find you something for the burns, as an apology," the eel murmurs to him after the laser grid as they race back with all the pieces, which is only possible because Owen has slung Noah over his shoulder and Alejandro is following closely behind. "But truly, Noah, you've been doing amazingly today. You should be proud of yourself."
When Noah messes up and gives the Venus de Milo arms, Alejandro is the one to call him out, but he isn't annoyed like he would be with the others. His voice is fond, tinged with amusement, and Noah's mind blanks a little when he registers it because mistakes should be a sin with Alejandro but his wasn't. Later, as they share unabashed laughter over Tyler's misfortune, Noah's chest blooms with warmth and that is the moment he realises he might be doomed.
Newfoundland doesn't help his heart at all. Alejandro is careful and steady when he pulls Noah into the boat and he rubs a thumb over Noah's knuckles as their hands are clasped, a fleeting gesture that they're both aware of as it happens. At the table, they're pressed shoulder-to-shoulder (a position Alejandro put them into by literally wriggling his way between Noah and Owen) and it gives Noah such a heady feeling that doesn't leave even when he knows Alejandro is getting up to bullshit when he disappears during the break. It's a day filled with nothing but contact and paired with the praise and the trust and the laughter, Noah knows he's fallen hard and will struggle immensely with getting back up again.
The attention is intoxicating but incredibly suspicious. Alejandro got members of Team Victory eliminated by flirting with two of them and stroking the ego of a third, so the sudden affection from him makes it clear that Noah is his next target. Which…doesn't really make sense. Team Victory is on its last legs, sure, but shouldn't Alejandro be targeting Team Amazon next? Heather is right there and clearly in denial about being into him, so why is Alejandro choosing to focus on a member of his own team instead?
Maybe Noah should have kept his mouth shut when Alejandro gave a pep talk to Leshawna then threw the game in the Alps. Maybe Alejandro thinks Noah's a little too aloof to actually be a reliable team member as the competition gets more intense. Or maybe, and this is the most embarrassing possibility, Alejandro has figured out that Noah likes him more than he should and as such thinks he deserves the same fate as everyone else who gives him heart eyes.
There's no way to tell what the cause is, but the unfortunate truth is that since Alejandro has set his eyes on Noah, his time on this season will soon be coming to an end. Which is tragic, because he'd been hoping to not be the first person on his team voted out this time, but it is what it is. Noah is smart but Alejandro is higher up in the social hierarchy and a master manipulator to boot, so no matter what he tries to do to survive he doesn't really stand a chance.
Well. If that's the case, why not enjoy it?
Sure, he could fight back. Tell Alejandro that he knows what he's doing and it won't work on him like it did everyone else. Make a point of proving that he isn't as blind as the others, that he's intelligent and perceptive enough to see behind the facade through simple observation alone. But all that would get him is scorn, a drop of the act and a quicker boot than whatever Alejandro currently has planned for him. All these fond looks and honeyed words would disappear in a flash.
It's selfish and foolish but…Noah doesn't really want that. Because despite knowing it's all fake, his heart still skips a beat when Alejandro is affectionate with him. He's also self-aware enough to admit he isn't exactly finalist material. So he decides to cut his losses and enjoy the attention while it lasts, because even if this all ends with him jumping out of a plane, at least he can say he wasn't blindsided and he got to feed his desires just a little in the process. Face his end with dignity, or whatever.
Waking up cuddled to Alejandro's chest isn't exactly something he expected to come out of this decision, but it's a welcome surprise.
Fuck's sake, is the first thing he thinks when he's conscious enough to take in his position. The two of them had taken the unplanned break in Jamaica as a chance to go stargazing, and they must have dozed off on the beach while chatting about constellations. Noah's habit of cuddling in his sleep had clearly kicked in, and his first instinct is to be annoyed at himself for it.
His second instinct is to burrow deeper into the warmth because laying against Alejandro's body is annoyingly comfortable.
Noah pushes his instincts to the side when he realises he has a choice to make. The sensible thing to do would be to squirm his way out of the strong arms wrapped around his torso and separate himself from Alejandro. If he manages to get away without the eel waking up then no one will ever have to know this happened, and if he fails then he can accuse Alejandro of being the one who got them in this position. Simple, logical, sensible.
However.
This is an opportunity. Alejandro doesn't actually like Noah the way his behaviour would suggest, so ending up in a position like this probably isn't something he particularly wants. If he were to, say, wake up and see them entangled like this, it would likely catch him off-guard, make him uncomfortable. A little bit of petty revenge for trying to string Noah along—direct consequences to his own actions. And Noah can defend himself from half the embarrassment with literal televised proof that this is a habit he has no control over.
Also, Noah's just really comfortable right now. His head rests on Alejandro's chest, directly above his heart, and the slow, steady heartbeat could potentially lull him back to sleep if he isn't careful. It's a win-win situation, honestly: revenge on Alejandro and a warm body to doze on. The choice is a lot easier to make than it really should be.
Noah isn't sure how long it takes for Alejandro to stir, but by the time it finally happens Noah has fallen back into a light doze. He is brought back to alertness by the feeling of the arms around his torso tightening a bit, and he makes sure to keep his breathing slow and his eyes shut lightly. Hours of experience of faking sleep make Noah confident that he looks convincingly like someone who is still in dreamland, and he makes sure to maintain the facade as the body under him continues to shift.
There's a sigh above him followed by a hitch in breath that causes Alejandro's chest to jump. "¿Qué?" he mumbles, his voice low and barely awake. Noah has heard Alejandro's morning voice before on the plane (which was already pretty hot), but feeling the rumble of it in his chest is an entirely different experience.
The arms hugging Noah's torso tighten some more, as if confirming they're really holding someone. "…Noah?" Alejandro whispers, and Noah relishes in the confusion he can hear, smug that his plan is working, but then—
Then—
Suddenly, the heartbeat under Noah's ear starts to pick up. It starts to race, even, a much more dramatic reaction than what usually happens in the transition from sleep to wake. Noah can't escape it, stuck listening to Alejandro's heart thumping jackrabbit-fast as he continues to process their position. Noah's own heart starts trying to match the pace, and he hopes Alejandro can't feel his pulse under his hands.
This…isn't the reaction of someone who is solely uncomfortable.
"¿Cómo…?" Alejandro mutters to himself as his thumb lightly caresses Noah's back. It doesn't seem to be a conscious movement, and Noah feels like his mind is about to explode from the gentleness. "Hm…Él es muy lindo. Como un perezoso. Precioso…" The words are quiet, like thoughts that only escaped because the speaker thought nobody was around to hear. Noah doesn't speak Spanish, but he can guess what 'precioso' means, and that's probably a big enough clue to the content of the rest.
Alejandro chuckles lowly to himself, the echo of it in his chest not enough to hide the way his pulse still hasn't slowed. "You will hate me when you wake and see this," he says quietly, unaware that the intended target can actually hear him. "It was not my fault this time. Ah well…it will be cute to see you flustered."
One of Alejandro's arms drops from his waist, and Noah almost mourns the touch until a hand lands on his shoulder and shakes him gently. "Noah," Alejandro calls softly, melodic and sweet. "Rise and shine."
Noah blinks his eyes open, reeling too much to fake a genuine waking up as well as he usually does. Hopefully Alejandro's too distracted by whatever's going through his head to notice. Looking up, he catches sight of dilated pupils surrounded by enchanting green. "Um."
"Hola, sleepyhead," Alejandro teases, and there isn't a single hint of smugness in his smile. He doesn't look like someone who has just been handed a tool to guarantee someone's downfall, the way he would be with anyone else; no, instead he looks…amused at the situation, if not a tiny bit awestruck. It's mesmerising, it's incomprehensible, it's…
Fuck, how would I normally react to this?! Noah scrambles off of Alejandro, away from the quick heartbeat and onto the sandy floor. He rolls so he doesn't have to face the other and groans, "Not again…"
"Not again?" Alejandro repeats. "Is this a reoccurring event?"
"Broadcast on international TV and everything," Noah grumbles. "You know how Sierra doesn't like me very much?"
There's a pause as Alejandro parses out what he means. "Well," he starts, surprisingly off-guard, "There is no need to feel ashamed. I did not mind, and I am fairly confident nobody else saw." If Noah didn't know any better, he would think Alejandro sounds disappointed, but he does know better.
He thinks he knows better.
"You didn't mind me using you as a teddy bear?" Noah scoffs, still not turning around. He's grasping at straws, desperately trying to prove to himself that the circumstances are exactly like he'd spelled it out in his mind.
"You make a very comfortable blanket," Alejandro hums, and Noah finally rolls back over in time to watch him push himself to his feet. The charmer holds a hand out towards him with an inviting smile—back to his usual self, but not as fake as it should be. "Shall we return to the plane? I am sure someone must be wondering where we are right now."
Noah lets himself get pulled up without protest, and the two of them start the trek back to the Jumbo Jet. They walk in silence, but it's contemplative rather than uncomfortable, and Noah's brain runs a mile a minute trying to process everything that just happened.
Alejandro is fake. He is, that is an objective fact, Noah has seen it with his own two eyes. Every sweet word is poisoned, every comforting gesture is measured, every enamoured look is a trick that hides his malicious intent. Even if it doesn't seem that way this time, Noah could easily convince himself (really wants to convince himself) that the mask is much harder to spot when you're the target rather than a spectator.
But it is so, so hard to change the speed of your own heartbeat at will.
It's possible, admittedly; a person can trigger a response from their sympathetic nervous system by imagining something that excites or scares them, if the thought takes up enough of their attention. But Alejandro had been fast asleep before his heart had started to race moments after waking—Noah could tell because of how slow the beat had been before. It would be insane to believe that this guy had woken up, realised their position and immediately worked to stimulate his fight-or-flight response, no matter how good he is at playing his role. He had only been conscious for seconds.
Not to mention the fact that his heart rate hadn't slowed at all the whole time Noah's ear had been pressed to his chest. Affecting your heart rate on purpose is one thing, but maintaining it? Especially given how non-frantic Alejandro was acting? You'd be considered a fool to believe it was fake, rather than the other way around.
Which only left one possible truth. A truth Noah couldn't wrap his head around.
Alejandro…actually likes me.
He looks at the boy walking alongside him, trying to pair the image in front of him with this revelation. Alejandro is his usual self, head held high and steps confident, but he lacks the charming aura he projects around the rest of the cast. He's relaxed, but Noah doesn't pride himself on being good at reading people for nothing. There's a slight nervousness there, from the way his thumb is rubbing the bull on his necklace to the fact that he keeps glancing in Noah's direction. Alejandro doesn't flinch when their eyes meet, instead sending a friendly smile his way before turning away, but the fact that it happens three times in a minute makes Noah think Alejandro has been looking at him repeatedly this whole time.
There's no acting here. There hasn't been, actually, not for a long time, not when it's just between the two of them, but Noah hadn't wanted to believe it before. Thinking for even a second that he could possibly be the exception out of everyone on the plane had felt too delusional for Noah's taste, yet here they are now. Alejandro isn't doing a weird play where he targets someone on his own team, no, he genuinely likes him. Likes him back, even.
What is Noah meant to do now? Kiss him? That feels a bit too out of character.
…Maybe he should have pretended to sleep kiss him while he had the chance.
"Ready to rejoin the noise, mi amigo?" Alejandro asks as they reach the plane, and Noah is certain he didn't imagine the way Alejandro tripped ever so slightly over the word 'amigo'.
"No," he replies honestly, and Alejandro laughs because this is a joke Noah has made several times before. With a brain that feels fuzzy from everything he's learned and an elevated heart rate he has no hope of controlling, Noah steps onto the plane with absolutely no idea what he wants to do next.