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“I remember visiting one of these once, in Europe.”
“You- what? Why Europe? When was that?” Sam looked at Cas in surprise, while the angel picked up an apple nearly the size of his palm, seeming to weigh it –consider it.
Then Cas put it back, turning to Sam. “When you and Dean were setting up the spell for the weapon that would kill Dick.”
Sam needed a moment to find that specific memory, realising that it was just after they’d broken Cas out of the institute they’d both spent some time in –at different times. Yet not quite for different reasons.
“I gathered ingredients mostly at a farm in Normandy, but others from places all over. To make sure I could provide a safe sandwich for the both of you. Europe was a good choice for it.” Cas finished, seeming as proud of it now as he had then.
And, well, that made sense, of course. Sam hadn’t thought of the Leviathan’s reach back then, nor had he later, but for it to be contained to the US –or at least the continent seemed likely. First here, then, once time would need it, the rest, probably.
“Makes sense.” Sam found himself to say as he paid the farmer for the fruit he’d bagged (in his reusable jute tote, thank you very much) and started off to another stand.
They’d just gotten there, and Sam still had a whole list of things to buy. Most of it for the dinner he had planned that night, together with Eileen. Though while Eileen had been adamant to help cook –one of the things they enjoyed doing together, usually in the morning- Sam was set on having the food ready or near enough as she’d arrive. He wanted to surprise her, as a bit of a thank you. A thank you for being there for him through the loss of his brother, and dealing with his long silence before they could get to that. A thank you for her being as amazing as she was.
Sam just hoped he’d be able to tell Eileen that too, that evening, and that he wouldn’t completely shut down instead.
They passed a few fruit and vegetable stands next, with Sam adding a few things to his bag and chatting with a few of the stands’ owners.
Cas watched attentively, but quietly, seeming content to just be there with him. Something that was oddly calming, when Sam thought about it.
It wasn’t until they got to the stand quite a bit down the second row that Cas perked up visibly and took the lead in approaching –like a dog smelling their favourite treat.
Frank’s honeybees
The moment Sam had spotted the name on the yellow sign, honeycombs at the edges and a bee buzzing between the word ‘honeybees’ and a corner, he ceased to be surprised. He hadn’t remembered a whole lot of Cas’ being while at the institute and right after, especially considering both he and Dean got blasted to Purgatory not long after and it had left Sam to –well, anyway. Point was that though Sam hadn’t remembered a lot, he had remembered Cas’ appreciation for bees. Especially the image Dean had painted once, found its way back to Sam at the most strange moments.
Cas was happily chatting with who Sam assumed was Frank, something about the bees’ migration patterns, turning into which flowers Frank’s bees preferred and where Frank was located. Sam didn’t need to ask to know Cas wouldn’t just be disappearing to Heaven –to Dean, now, but also to Frank’s bee farm –or however that was called. If it meant Cas would take fresh, locally sourced honey every time he went though, Sam would be far from complaining. Sam did try to keep in mind to tell Cas to tell Dean he was planning to hang out with Frank –no details, just happiness and vagueness would do the trick.
Even beyond death they could step on each other’s toes. That’s what brothers are for, right?
Sam nearly snorted to himself at the idea.
The honey stand got left behind with Sam adding two jars of honey to his bag, and Cas with a plan to visit the bee farm. It lifted the mood even more than Sam could’ve thought, the two of them smiling as they passed some more stands.
When they got to the jams, Sam couldn’t help but pause. “Hey, Cas.”
The angel looked at him at the questioning tone shining through, little to be seen on his face but the question of ‘what’ being clear enough to Sam either way.
“You really liked PB&J sandwiches, right?”
The almost mournful look Cas adapted at that nearly had Sam regret asking the question, but he hoped whatever he’d suggest next –or ask, because perhaps it had already been done but had Cas not known- would amend that a little. Cas still nodded, slightly and sadly, his eyes flickering over the many jars of jams scattered over at least three stands. “I did, yes.”
“Did Jack ever think to give you the ability to taste like- uh, like how your vessel would taste things, I guess? Think he could do that?”
The suggestion seemed to need a moment to fully settle for Cas, as if his brain was going over every single option and answer and possibility regarding this, before it seemed to land on something good. Because Cas perked up, his eyes honest to Jack brightened, and there was almost (almost) a full smile on his face. “That- that should be possible. I could- I could at least ask.”
“You should.”
“I should.” Cas echoed, still happy when finally meeting Sam’s eyes again. “That would be amazing. I could enjoy PB&J again. Oh Sam, I could- how did Dean say that... I could kiss your brain.”
Sam spluttered out a laugh then, moving a hand to Cas’ shoulder and clapping it down. “Glad to help out. Let’s save the taste-testing and buying for when you’ve got that settled then, hey?”
“That’s a good plan, Sam. I cannot wait.”
“Me neither, man.”
They didn’t walk around much longer after that, Cas too excited by the idea of meeting up with Jack and Sam having bought the needed herbs soon enough. So they returned to the bunker, where Sam immediately put away all their purchases and set out to planning the cooking for the dinner coming up.
“Would I be of any help, with anything?”
Sam took Cas in as he thought that over, knowing that as much as he and Cas alternated who cooked, Cas still wasn’t anything much in regards to a proper cook. And while Sam appreciated the effort Cas put in when it was just him, that was with easy meals and with just Sam. This was his evening with Eileen, and the dinner he’d planned definitely took a bit more than the ones he’d plan with Cas. This evening was also the one thing he would want to go perfect –or as perfect as it could go, anyway- and while he seriously, absolutely, thoroughly appreciated Cas and his presence and help and whatnot, this was not cut out for him.
“Maybe just with setting the table in a bit, or with the movie room set up? Nothing big, I kind of wanna do the cooking myself.”
The mention of doing things by himself didn’t seem to offend Cas, which Sam had feared just a little, and the angel simply smiled at him like he knew. Like he knew the importance this held for Sam –the importance Eileen held for Sam.
“Of course.”
While Cas went about the table and the movie room (which Sam still called the Dean Cave in his head, despite), Sam finished up most of the cooking. There was just something in the oven, when Sam glanced at his watch and realised he had to get ready himself too –and quick.
That was just when Cas popped back into the kitchen, looking quite pleased. “Everything is set up. Eileen should be arriving any moment, so I shall take my leave?”
For a moment, Sam felt guilty. Guilty for having to send Cas away –or at least out of range while he enjoyed his night with Eileen- but Cas had been the one to encourage him. Had been the one to make him press ‘send’ on a text message he’d been mulling over for at least a week. Had been the one cheering him on, in a sense, to get Eileen back into his life more actively.
“Yeah, that’s- that’s good. I- thank you, Cas. For your help.” For everything, went unspoken, but the look Cas gave him told Sam the angel knew. That Sam’s words had been enough of them, and with a quick approach, a soft squeeze to his shoulder, and a ‘good luck’, Cas was gone.
That left Sam to get ready, his chest warming pleasantly when he raced back to the kitchen to make sure everything was in place and the oven wasn’t going too fast. There was a moment of silence, of just the oven whirring and Sam breathing, and a moment in which Sam realised he was well and truly alone in the bunker –even Miracle was out, with Garth for a weekend because his kids loved the dog so much they demanded sleep overs.
Just him and the silence, and the possibility of something pressing down on him heavily.
Instead, he felt oddly calm. He felt warm inside his chest, in a way that was both fuzzy and comforting, and like he hadn’t felt in a long time. Before he could question it, could inspect it, could feel it shift into something colder, there was a knock on the bunker door.
Before things could take a turn, there was Eileen. Eileen standing in the door opening of the door Sam had opened with his heart beating a little faster than usual, with a nervous smile on his face, with that same fuzzy warm feeling from before fizzling in the background. With the thought that maybe the rest of his life was starting to get drawn out, in carefully sketched lines that still changed a bit by the day but looked like something he would like to see play out. The thought that maybe, his forever was coming together quite well this way, despite. That he’d be able to get on, this way. With these people.
Taking some cases, fighting alongside Cas, visiting farmers markets nearby or far, taking the occasional road trip –just because they could, and should. He could get used to all that.
And maybe he’d talk Cas into making their own little vegetable garden, and offer the angel to start his own bee-farm-something, just for a little slice of life the way he’d always meant for himself to have.
There was enough to do, to discover, to enjoy, after all. And the thought of that ahead, well, that seemed quite alright.
Yeah, he’d get on. Moment by moment. Day by day.