Chapter Text
Taehyung doesn't know what to say to the other wolf. It's been a while now, just them outside under the moon that's high in the sky. Other wolves are lingering in the forest too, trees looming, and the sound of the lake is quiet.
Jeongguk is quiet too, but maybe he doesn't know what to say either. He's in human form, carving something out of wood with a pocket knife. Taehyung, before, saw the other alpha give a carved bunny to a small omega child, so maybe it's one of those. Their tasks are also simple tonight: keep watch and bring back any kills. Traps are still flat on the ground, and no deer have rustled the leaves, but the night is still young.
Taehyung watches Jeongguk out of the corner of his eye. The alpha sitting on his left, hair cut and his eyes focused.
“What are you making?” He speaks first, voice deep, coming out stronger than anticipated.
Jeongguk paused his whittling, ”A bear.”
He continues it, and Taehyung nods. The stars are bright; he can see a small constellation where they sit. His father taught him the ones that hung over their heads when his brother and he were children.
“How many of those have you made?”
“Don't know,” Jeongguk mumbles back, eyebrows pinched. “Been making them since I was a kid.”
The other alpha nods, inhaling a long breath. It isn't cold, but alphas run hot.
“Probably made hundreds from what I saw-” The alpha says, and Jeongguk shrugs.
“The children like them,” Jeongguk informs, and Taehyung nods.
“They like you a lot, see them around you all the time.”
Jeongguk blows the wooden flakes off the almost-done figure, his knife resting on his thigh.
“They only know me.”
Taehyung knows he is right. Whenever he tries to approach the children from the other wolf’s pack, they get timid. Barely talk, rendered shy. Despite it being 4 months, everyone is still adjusting.
When their shift ends, the moon has shifted, signaling. Some traps were full, mostly rabbits, but one deer hung in a tree net.
Taehyung watched Jeongguk end its life. Watched how it thrashed then became still.
How its death will not be in vain.
--
Taehyung is sitting on his porch, his cabin door closed behind him. It's a bright day, summer heat engulfing everyone. People aren't inside, enjoying the weather outside.
He spoke to Jimin earlier over breakfast about how the beta thinks the heat is nice. Taehyung grimaced, shirtless, sweat beading high on his neck. The alpha doesn't mind the summer, but it's almost over. Grateful for it's almost winter, it's the season bringing more favorable weather. Taehyung thinks the snow is gorgeous as it falls. As he watches the field, people are living. It's unfathomable to Taehyung how many people are a part of his family's pack. His blood runs deep; it's a long line, but seeing it for himself, it's unbelievable how many people his brother will have to lead. They're somewhere, his father and brother, but as Taehyung scans the field, all he sees is the alpha he does night watch with.
Jeongguk is lying on the grass, two pups standing over him. It's clear they're playing a game, and the alpha is playing along if the smile on his face is anything to go by. Taehyung watches him dramatically roll around and up on his feet, grabbing the two children, throwing them over his shoulder before running in a circle with them. It's a different personality from what Taehyung receives. They've been night watch partners for a month now. Several nights a week spent out, alone, and Jeongguk is so-
Different.
He spoke to his father about it: about the other alpha. All his father said was that he was a good hunter who wanted to be a part of the night watch. That's it, nothing more.
It's dinner by the time everyone settles, and the moon is high. The large dining cabin is full, bustling with conversation and laughter. Taehyung is sitting with his friends; they're laughing at whatever Seokjin said, but his eyes are wandering. Jeongguk isn't here; he isn't ever. His old pack is- children on their mother's laps, eating out of their bowls. They're content, smiling.
“I'm going to go to bed early, try to nap before watch,” the alpha picks up his bowl, cup already tossed in. He can't sit still, can't keep his skin from buzzing. His friends wish him a good night as he leaves, his feet leading him outside.
The alpha doesn't know why he does, but he walks along the wall of guest cabins. The ones full of other dissolved pack mates, the ones that house Jeongguk. His cabin is at the edge, protecting the forest line. Taehyung, without a lantern, can't see him well, but the moonlight helps. Jeongguk looks up, footsteps drawing out of his journal lit by a nearby lantern. Taehyung thinks it's funny that the wolf writes with a feather.
“Hey,” Taehyung greets first, standing in front of the other alpha who is sitting on a small porch.
The other wolf shuts his book, shuffling it to the side, “Hey.”
Taehyung scratches his eyebrow, “I noticed you weren't in the dining hall.”
Jeongguk stares, “Wanted some quiet.”
“There's a lot of quiet during watch,” Taehyung joked, smiling, but Jeongguk didn't smile back. “I get it, though. Lots of bodies in there.”
A pause. Taehyung lingers, even though it feels like the conversation is done. Before he steps away, he speaks, not thinking.
“You should show me how to carve the figures.” Jeongguk raises an eyebrow at his words. “Give me something to do during the watch.”
Maybe the children will grow most comfortable around him, too.
Jeongguk just nods back, and the other alpha takes his leave.
He didn't nap, couldn't do it.
His cabin is dark, but his mind is full. Even while he walks to the forest and sits by the same rocks as Jeongguk and he always does, he feels heavy. The other alpha comes a few moments later, carrying a small leather bag. He sits silently, taking the right side with Taehyung.
“You have your knife?” He brings out a small block of wood, the type that's soft enough to carve. His hands push one block out, and Taehyung wavers with his pocket knife on his thigh.
Their hands touch; fingers linger. They pull back, and Jeongguk tells him to hold his knife with his writing hand.
“Hold it around the handle; move your thumb here-” Jeongguk gestures with his right hand, and Taehyung copies, hand steady. “This is for big cuts; carving away the bulk of it. When doing smaller cuts- I'll show you then, just watch.”
The other alpha does, face focused on Jeongguk's hands. His left hand is gripping the short block of wood while his right expertly carves away. Taehyung guesses it's his turn to try when Jeongguk pauses to stare at him. Bringing the edge of the blade down, he barely misses his other hand's fingers.
“Hold it behind, not under,” Jeongguk demonstrates his instructions once more, and the other wolf nods, eyes pointed at the wood.
The next cut is better, but still odd. Even if they're just carving out the rough shape. Jeongguk finishes faster, hands precise, and he says to Taehyung that he took too much of the body away to carve a healthy bear. When Jeongguk shows him how to hold the blade for a more detailed cut, his hand grasps Taehyung's. They're rough, the wolf can feel the calluses on Jeongguk's palm against the back of his hand. Despite the warnings Jeongguk gave before they started carving the head of the animal, Taehyung still watches the blood ooze out of the heel of his palm. It runs down his wrist when it pools, the drip stopping around his elbow crease. Jeongguk pauses, and Taehyung hisses at the ache. It stings even when he washes it away with his water pouch.
“How deep is it?” Jeongguk's voice rings out as he watches Taehyung shake the water off his arm.
The other wolf pulls the wound to his face, trying to see it as best he can despite only the moon providing light.
“It looks surface-level.”
Jeongguk hums and stares at Taehyung’s hand when the alpha moves back to his spot, arm's length away from the other. They don't talk, not for a while. Taehyung applies pressure to the cut with his freshly washed left palm while Jeongguk finishes his bear. Even when their shift ends, they say nothing while Jeongguk lays to rest two caught rabbits. While they walk to the catch house, Jeongguk glances at the alpha now and then.
Unsure, wavering. Even when Taehyung is walking back to their cabins, he is unsure why he's still following the other alpha.
“You okay?” Taehyung says, pausing at the other's cabin porch. It's cold out, but neither of them can feel it.
Jeongguk nods, hand gripping the wooden bear, “Here, you can have it.”
His hand pushes the toy animal out, gripping it loosely by the end of it.
“It's for the kids-?” Jeongguk cuts him off.
“They have enough bears.” He pauses. “Take it.”
When Taehyung feels the weight, he can tell he isn't meant for whittling. It's so much more detailed, thicker. His skinny bear would fly away if there was a strong gust of wind, while Jeongguk's bear would stand tall and mighty.
“Thank you,” he says, the bear falling to his side in his palm.
Jeongguk nods, “Goodnight, Taehyung.”
“Goodnight, Jeongguk.”
--
Light shines through the window; Taehyung always forgets to cover it. It's bright when it reaches his eyes, and he squints hard. The fur mats he's laying in his warm, especially in the spot he rolls over to. His hand aches when he applies pressure on it to stand. He feels sweaty from the night, pulling out clothes from a clean pile to put on after he gets water for his wash basin. His cabin isn't far from the drinking well. On his porch, a jar is resting in front of his door. Its contents: a dark green paste. When Taehyung brings it to his nose to sniff it, it smells like medicine. Like the one his mother would rub on his wounds when he was a pup after he fell on the harsh gravel. From afar, he feels it: a pair of eyes watching his inspection. When Taehyung picks his head up, he meets Jeongguk’s eyes, and the other alpha looks away just as fast. When collecting water from the well, he sees a shadow approach. Its edges are firm from the bright sun.
“It's good-,” Jeongguk starts, feet firm on the ground, when Taehyung turns to face him. “The medicine.”
The other alpha nods, picking up his water bucket from the gravel floor, “Thanks for it- I'll put it on right now.”
Jeongguk follows Taehyung back to the cabin, their steps syncing. It's a hot day, but soon, fall will change the leaves.
“Just keep an eye on it: infection spreads fast,” Jeongguk notes, pausing at the patio stairs, glancing at Taehyung’s wounded hand.
“I don't think it will get infected.” Taehyung shakes the hair out of his eyes. “But sure, I'll keep an eye on it.”
With that, the other alpha walks away. Taehyung watches him leave. How much he cares for others, Taehyung has witnessed, but how stoic the alpha is, it's surprising that Jeongguk shifted his kindness to him.
Inside his brightly lit cabin, the memory of how Taehyung's pack found Jeongguk's comes flooding like a dam broken. How much grief and sorrow there was. When they needed to bring the grieving wolves to their land, they wept by the graves of their loved ones. Taehyung can remember the smell of their staggering grief. How deeply unforgettable it was. When they walked, they sobbed, leaning on each other for support. Jeongguk for miles carried an older omega on his back, her wrinkled eyes full of agony. Taehyung barely saw the other alpha in human form how much he had to carry others. When they arrived at Bisuel, they didn't talk; they just cried. At the time, Jeongguk barely spoke, too. He whispered to his pack-mates like everything was a secret. They didn't take more than what was given, and when their oldest pack member passed, Taehyung's father helped bury her.
The burial was huge- everyone came despite it only being two weeks since unification. They mourned together, and Taehyung remembers how Jeongguk didn't cry. How he didn't talk, just stood there. Face blank.
Taehyung doesn't understand the other alpha, but as he sits on his fur-covered floor applying the paste to his sore cut, maybe he can try.
—
His hair was warm as he sat in the sunlight. Summer is ending, so fall is coming and bringing celebration along with it.
The head family works alongside the rest of the pack to prepare decorations, so Taehyung is forced to prepare the colorful paper streamers they need. Sitting outside his parents' cabin, Taehyung’s hands connect the cut paper to the string some other pack-mates prepared. His mother sits next to him outside, humming a tune the young alpha recognizes as a lullaby as she works another set of decorations.
“How's the night watch?” his mother asks sweetly.
Taehyung shrugs as he swallows the spit he didn't realize had collected in his mouth, ”Good.”
She raises an eyebrow, dipping her finger back in the sticky glue, “Your father worries about you, but you can be honest with me.”
“I know, and I am being honest. It's fine,” mumbles Taehyung, huffing when the paper falls to the floor instead of sticking.
“Well, maybe I'm curious to know how Jeongguk is.” The mention of the alpha takes Taehyung off guard.
“What about him?”
“Do you spend time with him?” She questions.
Taehyung nods no, “Not outside of watch.”
“Invite him to some of the games, offer to be his partner in the four-race,” his mother suggests but Taehyung can tell it's more of a command.
As part of the leader’s family, he is required to participate. Been doing it ever since he was a pup, and he's good at them. His brother is typically his partner for the four-race, but since his mate gave birth, that has taken over everything else.
Despite the back and forth, Taehyung agrees to ask Jeongguk to be his partner in the four-race. His mother smiled, wishing him good luck as he was finally excused from decoration duty.
In the nearby lake, he rinses his hands. The water is warm on top, still as the sky.
Everything is quiet, even in the distance, with the birds flying above.
He's only ever known Biseul. So many grandfathers before him were great alphas, expanding the pack and land further and further with each passing moment. Farms, fields, and the number of cabins only grew.
Taehyung was lucky to be born a second son. His responsibilities are small, and his dreams are big. Bigger than life his father said to him when he was just fifteen. It was over dinner, and Taehyung cried in his room over the criticism. He cringed at the memory as his head snapped up from the sound of sticks cracking in the distance. A deer or two isn't uncommon, but the scent hitting Taehyung's nose is. He watches the trees; the leaves brush alongside something or someone. Through it all, black eyes emerge. Fur as dark as the night sky would be. Jeongguk. They back away from each other, trusting that they will remain apart. The other wolf sits on its butt, tilting its head. Taehyung watches Jeongguk's ear twitch.
The alphas don't even know how long they sat there, staring at each other, until Taehyung walks towards the other wolf. Hesitantly, Jeongguk watches.
“Hey,” a pause.”You do this a lot?”
This being shifting. Taehyung doesn't do it too often, for reasons he doesn't really have.
The wolf just stares, ears still.
“Practicing for the four-race?”
It isn't uncommon for pairs to practice for the four-race shifted, especially for the running portion. But Taehyung is just joking, mostly. Again, the wolf doesn't do much, just sits. Staring.
Like a wall.
“Do you have a partner for it?”
Finally, the wolf shakes its large head. Taehyung understands the no, “We can be partners. My brother can't be mine. Plus, it will be a fun first mid-year festival for you all. My father says there are bigger prizes this year.”
Despite being a man and a wolf, understanding each other is easy. Taehyung can see Jeongguk’s hesitation. How his wolf eyes waver.
“I also think it will be nice for your pack to see you win. ”
That's all it took for Jeongguk to agree.
-
The four-race is exactly how it sounds. A race comprises four competitions that you must complete before any other team. It's open to everyone, omegas, betas, and alphas. The only requirements must be you must be over 15 years old and have a partner. The participants are also allowed to be shifted for only one segment each. So today, the lake is full of people practicing. Has been for the past week leading up to the grand race. The children of the pack that Taehyung volunteered to teach, too. There's a pup swim race, and the prize is a dollhouse from the inner city and a ball with a hoop. They were so excited when Taehyung told them, and their motivation lasted up until right about now. Most of the children sit on the gravel, panting. Soaking wet but still wanting to go in and out of the water. When Taehyung held two kids’ hands out of the group as they walked back to the main field, they giggled and told jokes.
Even with the last of the summer heat, everyone was excited. Everyone but Jeongguk. Taehyung tried talking earlier in the day to the other wolf about the four-race, and despite being partners, Jeongguk just shrugged it all off. And even despite giving the wolf distance for the rest of the day, Taehyung can feel his unwelcoming energy as he stands in front of him. Jeongguk is shirtless, cotton pants white as they cover his legs. He's carving a block on his porch, ignoring Taehyung's greeting.
You've been ignoring me all day,” and Jeongguk doesn't even look at Taehyung as he speaks. “What's up with you?”
“Nothing,” Jeongguk mumbles
“If you don't want to be partners, just say that.” Taehyung pinches his eyebrows. “You don't have to be an asshole “
Jeongguk looks taken aback, hands pausing his carving, “I wasn't trying to be-”
“You sure?” Taehyung's question hits hard. “Been trying to talk and hang out with you for days, and you've been just sitting here ignoring everyone.”
“I'm not ignoring anybody,” Jeongguk starts, hesitant. “I do want to be your partner.” The other alpha softens his face. His posture, his everything. “My pack- the pups are excited, you know? We didn't do this even before everything happened.”
“So come out, participate. Do something besides sitting here and carving random animals. My mother would tell me to be a good leading example.” Taehyung watches Jeongguk nod along. “So be a good leading example for them.”
-
What Taehyung says, he assumed it did the trick because a few days later, during late watch, Jeongguk talks first.
“Do you want to shift for the race?”
His question draws the other alpha out of his head, owls wooing in the distance.
“Which part?” Taehyung asks, head facing the other wolf.
“The running.”
“Yeah, the other two require arms.” The alpha laughs at his joke, but Jeongguk nods.
“I want to do the swimming.” Jeongguk pauses: “I'm better at swimming.”
“I almost drowned once, my brother-” The other alpha smiles, remembering how his mother yelled at them to stop playing rough. “He tackled me under the water and just didn't let me back up. I didn't play with him for like weeks. My eomma banned him from the lake for the summer.”
“He's older, right?”
Taehyung nods, “Yeah, he's like twenty-eight? I don't know- it's a blur after a while.”
“He's going to become alpha, no?” asks Jeongguk; his lips are chapped from the cold.
Taehyung nods, “Yeah, he's a good leader.”
“You never wanted that position?” The other wolf is curious, and Taehyung understands his curiosity.
Any other alpha wolf would want to be the leader. To prove themselves, lead their pack. Especially if part of the head family. Taehyung has heard stories of families ending each other’s lives over it. Fights that span generations.
“No, my brother will do well.” A pause. “Plus, no responsibility for me. I love it.”
“How old are you?” asks Jeongguk, eyebrow raised.
“Twenty-three,” Taehyung states, spitting the saliva that collected in his mouth out on the forest floor. “You?”
“Twenty.”
The alpha looked young, but Taehyung wasn't expecting that.
“You took care of your pack at twenty?”
“How old was your father when he took over Biseul?” Jeongguk changes the subject fast. Taehyung noticed the lisps that hovered around the younger alpha’s words.
“I think- thirty?” he shrugs. “He's like fifty-something now. My mother is younger than him, too, I think. She's in her mid-forties.”
Jeongguk hums in acknowledgement.
“What about your parents? Is your mom the one with the long hair who always weaves the baskets?” Taehyung thought they always looked related, the women who would sit by the flour trail and weave the baskets they used to carry everyday mundane objects.
“No.” Jeongguk flatly says, silence filling the air right after.
“Ah-you're not related? I assumed, since it was a small pack, at least a cousin or two?” Taehyung doesn't understand when to stop; his father noted that personality trait years ago.
“No.” Jeongguk swallows the saliva in his mouth. “The only family that survived was Yusung and her parents.”
The other alpha can slightly head the apprehension in Jeongguk's eyes, the grief, too.
“What happened to yours?” Taehyung watches his eyes falter. “If-”
“They passed,” says Jeongguk, looking away in the distance. Moonlight is bright over them. “I didn't have any siblings.”
“So it's just you?”
The other alpha says yes, cracking his neck, “Your father has been kind to me, though.”
“He's a good leader,” Taehyung repeats what he said about his brother. It's true. His bloodline has made natural-born leaders since the start. His father always reminded him of such nuance.
He and his father have a good relationship, but his father never really understood his artistic dreams. The head alpha said he should dream of being a council scholar in the city, but he cringed at the idea.
City people weren't uncommon to the wolves of the pack, and sometimes, if chosen by the head alpha, were allowed to go into the city to buy supplies. Taehyung loved being allowed to go so he could trade for pigment and paint. How once he traded a large fur blanket for a set of tube paints and three paint brushes. His father said he was ridiculous.
“We should kill the traps and head back- the moon is about right,” Taehyung states, cutting off their night.
Soon, the leaves will change, and along with it, the night watch partners.
Maybe other things too.
-
Jeongguk can hear his heart beating in his chest. He isn't nervous, no. It's the adrenaline pumping through his body. It's the final race of the competition, and Taehyung and he are in the lead.
He already ran over to his spot, panting but shifted. His clothes are behind the divider where he will change back after everything is done. He admires where he stands; the lake is long, much bigger than the one by the old land they used to reside on. His pack-mates were astonished by it when they were brought to Bisuel, but they barely spent any time there. Everyone understood their mourning. Never pushed them to go. Even as Jeongguk remembers Nakdong, he doesn't lose his focus.
The flag marking where the race ends is deep in his vision. His teeth are aching to bite it and take victory. Taehyung, he hopes, has made it past the halfway point. He should be first, but Jeongguk doesn't know how well the other alpha is running. He could've been lying, or maybe his ego is too big to admit he isn't. Jeongguk for sure wasn't lying about his swimming experience. Back in Nakdong, he used to swim for fish, his paws bringing in whatever he could get for his pack-mates.
His mother used to giggle when Jeongguk would plop a live fish by her feet, scolding him for taking it out of the water. Taehyung reminds Jeongguk of his mother. How they laugh at their own jokes. How they push him.
A head brushing against his fur pushes his head back to the surface. It's Taehyung. It's frantic, and Jeongguk doesn't feel anything after he dives into the water. He feels someone join him a minute later, and it's a human gliding through the lake. Pushing herself to catch up, but Jeongguk is faster. He can hear the crowd rushing to gather farther down the lake, and can see them when he's closer. In the distance, he can hear more people jumping in.n Jeongguk steps onto the gravel, and when he bites the flag, Taehyung is right there. Hugging him.
Cheering loudly, everyone is.
He’s soaking wet, but the older alpha doesn't seem to care, and he continues to invade his space.
Even as he walks to his clothes to change, the other alpha follows. Taehyung stands on the other side of the divider, humming a song Jeongguk doesn't know.
It's quiet where they are, nobody else shifted for the swim race, so the trees are keeping them company.
“That was crazy, Jeongguk,” Taehyung says, smiling widely. “I thought you were kidding about the whole swimming thing.”
“I like swimming,” the younger man repeats.
“I can see that now.” Taehyung runs his hand through his sweaty hair. “You're going to the festival tonight, right?”
“I have to, don't I?”
“We won, so yes,” the older alpha pauses, swallowing. “We can hang out there and meet my friends.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay.”
-
Introducing five people was a lot of talking, even for Taehyung, so now he's standing alone inside the dining cabin, chugging what feels like half a gallon of water.
Everyone is outside more than inside, so it's surprising when Jeongguk finds him, sipping water in the corner.
“Hey,” greets Jeongguk.
“Hey,” the older alpha says back.
Silence is not awkward but just there. Looming.
“Are my friends bothering you out there?” Taehyung lightly jokes, fringe covering his eyebrows.
“No- they're nice,” the younger clears his throat. “Hoseok was just talking to me about you and how they all met you.”
“Oh dear god-”
“You really peed your pants in the forest?”
“I was nine, and the instructor didn't listen to me that I had to pee-” Taehyung stops talking when Jeongguk smiles.
An actual smile that meets his eyes. Ones that stars would be jealous of.
“Jimin said you cried,” Jeongguk teases.
“I did, and I'm man enough to admit it,” the other alpha huffs. “He cried all the time, but he won't tell you that.”
“You were children.”
Taehyung scoffs, “Whose side are you on, Jeongguk?”
“He wanted to wrestle me in the games right now, so maybe yours,” the younger wolf admits, wiping his hand on his thigh.
“I wouldn't fight him- he plays dirty.”
“You wrestle him?”
Taehyung nods, “he's strong, ridiculously strong. There's this omega who is in love with him and always asks to see his muscles.”
Jeongguk makes a face, “You can't be serious.”
“It's odd; she's probably out there right now asking,” the older notes, laughing.
“He doesn't have a mate?”
“He doesn't.” Taehyung yawns because it's late. “Yoongi is Namjoon's mate, and Hoseok and Jin have been courting him, but I don't know how that's going.”
The younger one raises an eyebrow, “You're not close? I assumed you were-”
“I am but-,” Taehyung itches his palm as he talks, “it's like a cycle. Especially after we aged out of classes. We are close, but then we don't talk for a while. It's natural.”
Jeongguk blinks, unsure, “I think they're nice.”
“I have no doubt they think you're cool too,” the older states, supplying a smile.
“They asked me about you, how we met and stuff.”
“Watch?”
“Yeah, told them about the bear thing,” and at that, Taehyung grimaces.
“They're going to tease me for it.”
“No, I think you'll be fine. I didn't mention the cut, just said I taught you,” a pause. “How's your hand?”
Taehyung stretches his hand out, palm up, facing the tall ceiling. Jeongguk has to scoot closer, the wooden chair creaking against the floor.
“It looks good,” Jeongguk notes, and the older nods.
“The medicine helped.” The other alpha takes his hand back. “Where’d you get it?’
The younger alpha scratches his neck. His hair is growing long; it's different from the haircut Jeongguk came with.
“I made it.”
Taehyung's eyes go wide. “You made it?”
“Yeah,” the alpha nods, hair bouncing. “The healer- she was the one we buried here. She taught me how to make it.”
“Ah.”
A pause.
“Thank you for giving me some,” Taehyung starts, and Jeongguk just looks at him. “I appreciate it.”
“Your father, when I came here, said that we are pack now. I remember he brought you up, how I should get to know you- be friends. In my pack, we don't do words, we act, and I guess that's what I was trying to do- I guess to be friends. Sorry for just just saying shit, but I-”
“Jeongguk- it's cool,” Taehyung cuts him off. “We can be friends, even without the fancy medicine."
“I can teach you how to make it.”
“Isn't it a pack secret?”
“Aren't we pack now?” Jeongguk reminds the older alpha, receiving a smile in return.
—
Fall came, and along with it, new watch partners.
Well, except for Taehyung. His father said Jeongguk needs familiar faces; familiarity breeds contentment, so they'll be partners until the end of the year. It doesn't upset Taehyung, not at all.
Their talk in the dining hall opened his eyes, introducing a new side of Jeongguk that the other alpha had never seen. Even as he lies in bed at night thinking about it, it eggs him on. Wanting to know someone is natural. Caring for others is biological. A deep instinct to provide for a pack, care for those around you. Taehyung never experienced care from others as heavy as Jeongguk did. As a pup, he lacked social skills from being an outlier. Even in classes, even though his parents put him in school to learn them. His father comforted him once, saying his true blood shone too strongly; others were just intimidated. As he got older, he understood others' hesitancy more. Jimin was his only friend, even when they grew into teens, the beta was the one to introduce Taehyung to everyone else. His status in the pack didn't help; it never really did.
But Jeongguk, he doesn't seem to care. Even the personality traits his mother says he has to dial down.
Despite it all, Taehyung has been talking for ten minutes, and Jeongguk hasn't told him to stop.
"I'm serious, it's bullshit." Taehyung watches Jeongguk shrug; the younger alpha is pulling leaves apart and tossing the pieces on the forest floor.
"He cares about you," says Jeongguk, wiping his hands off.
"He has an odd way of showing it."
His father won't let him go into the city to sell his paintings. For two years, Taehyung has asked, begged, feels like, and yet every single time it's a no. Everything is always a no.
"It's dangerous," Jeongguk pauses. "I've never been to the city, and I don't want to go. Humans are unpredictable."
"That's an old wives' tale. They're not monsters-they're cool," The older alpha swallows the spit in his mouth. "I've met a few who love art, they say there's so much opportunity- I just want to go. He's so backwards sometimes."
"Backwards?"
Jeongguk said he never went to school; everything he learned was through his pack. His diction is the true example of it.
"Like- not understanding. Stuck in old ways of thinking." Taehyung earns an 'ah' from the other wolf.
A pause.
"Do you think I'm backwards?"
Jeongguk is looking at the other alpha now. His face illuminated by the moon, the lake reflecting them both. They chose a different spot; new season, new spot. It's very simple.
"No," Jeongguk raises an eyebrow at Taehyung's words. "Honestly, no. Quiet- sure but you don't give backwards."
"What am I then? Wait-"
Taehyung smiles, and Jeongguk rolls his eyes. "A big wet fish."
As the older alpha breaks out laughing, Jeongguk feels his chest tighten. For days after the race, Taehyung has been calling him that, fish this, fish that. The younger can't shake it; maybe he doesn't want to.
Taehyung has the best laugh, so he will put up with the fish jokes a little longer.
--
The leaves invoke something in Taehyung. The colors come once a year, and it's a special opportunity to paint them. It's usually from the window inside his cabin, alone, but today is special.
Jeongguk asked to see and wanted to try. The older alpha thought it was only fair since the wood carving exchange.
A few blocks of wood canvas are set and ready against the floor, and paint jars rest next to them. Taehyung remembers the ache in his wrist from grinding out the red paste.
He learned paint-making from an elder within the pack. She was kind, a little bit odd but so is Taehyung. The wolf likes to think there's a piece of her still living inside of him, through him.
When Jeongguk arrives and enters, Taehyung watches his eyes scan his cabin. The other man's eyes were flickering everywhere, nothing left unseen. Letting others in your den is a sacred act, shows you're truly welcomed as a friend.
Jeongguk's skin buzzes as he breathes in the older man's scent. Kicks him back home, memories flooding as he stands. Nostalgia is hitting him where it hurts.
"You ok?"
Jeongguk nods, eyes aching. "Yeah. Your cabin is nice."
"Oh, thank you. I've only been here for three years, so I tried," Taehyung's hand gestures him further in, pushing them past the knick-knacks laid on the shelves. "I got us new panels; I traded Namjoon for them."
"What did you trade?" The younger alpha picks one up; it's lighter than he expected. It's smoother, too, than he thought.
"A fur mat."
Jeongguk is taken aback, "You only got two panels?"
The older wolf nods, biting his lip. "I owed him from before."
If Jeongguk could tell he's lying, he doesn't mention it.
With everything laid out, Jeongguk is still lost. He dropped the paintbrush on the floor when it was loaded with paint, and it left a big yellow mark on the wood. Taehyung said it was fine, but the guilt doesn't float away.
"To make orange, you mix these," pointing to the yellow and orange cups, Taehyung dips in both colors.
"Yours looks so much better than mine." Jeongguk's eyes flicker between their panels, mentally comparing them. "It looks like a pup did it."
Smiling, the older alpha speaks, "I think it looks abstract."
"That means bad, doesn't it?"
Taehyung shakes his head, "keep going."
At the end of it, Jeongguk's hands are covered in paint. Even some on his forehead from wiping his hair off of it. Taehyung's pants are covered in paint strokes, and the younger male thinks he should've done that to clean off his brush when switching colors.
"I like yours." The younger's voice is quiet, eyes reviewing.
Taehyung's lips pull, smiling, "Yours is nice too Gguk."
"Gguk?"
"It's ok?"
The other alpha nods, "My pack calls me that."
"Were pack now," a pause. "Plus, I heard one of them call you that. You mind?"
Jeongguk shakes his head.
"Here, Gguk." Taehyung pushes his painting out.
"What? No, it's yours," the younger male pushes it back.
"Relax, we're trading," the other man lets out a breathy laugh. "I owe you for the bear."
"I think if I take it, don't u owe you?"
Taehyung tilts his head, his eyes are pretty, Jeongguk knows even if he's too anxious to look at them.
"I guess you do Gguk."
--
Painting isn't something Jeongguk is particularly drawn to, but he can understand why Taehyung likes it. The older alpha makes it seem like breathing. How it comes so naturally to him, how beautiful his hands work.
The traded painting rests in his cabin. It's propped up against the wall next to his stacks of covered books. They collect dust, but he can't bear to clean them. They weren't hidden back in Nakdong, but here the alpha can't bear to see them. Moving them hurts, mentally. Physically, the pounds of books weigh way, way more than they should. He was taking his mother away from her home.
Jeongguk cried alone on the journey; the days were long, but he didn't want anyone with him. Jinkyu agreed to let him go, the wind, he said, would bring him back. Taehyung's father was right. The wind makes the leaves dance in front of him. They follow each other's every step, like lovers. What blocks the view is Taehyung's body coming into his vision. His shirt: colorful from paint.
"Did you eat?" His voice is deep, deeper than the river in Nakdong.
"Some jerky."
Taehyung makes a face, "We made some?"
The dining hall has been out of it for weeks, it's always been a pack favorite.
"No-" Jeongguk wavers, "It's mine."
"Yours?" The older man questions, eyebrow raised.
"I made it."
It isn't that Jeongguk is ungrateful or unhappy with the food. His pack cried tears when they were fed until their stomach were bloated. He just can't stop hiding food; winter is coming.
"You make it?"
Jeongguk's nervousness is evident in the way his ears redden. Like a kid caught.
"Can I see?"
Even inviting someone into his cabin feels odd. Inside, Taehyung can see everything. He can't hide; his everything is laid bare.
It smells good, the older alpha thinks. Like freshly picked cotton from a field. It's deep in his nose, and he will try to remember it when he sleeps.
In the corner is a small rack, kept off the floor, covered in dried seasoned beef. Next to it, seasoning and jars full of substances Taehyung can't name. Every corner is full of stuff, but it's neatly placed there. His eyes focus on the blanket covering a pile, the brown hair trying to conceal whatever is underneath it.
"You hiding stuff?" It's a joke, by the way. Taehyung smiles. It isn't serious, but Jeongguk-
"No, it's-" a pause. "It's my mom's books."
The older male nods, hands interlaced with each other, "She was a writer?"
Jeongguk shakes his head, "Bookkeeper. She kept the history of the pack."
"Wow, so like births and traditions?"
Another nod, "family lines too, yeah."
A pause, Jeongguk scratches his head.
"Can I see yours?" The other male's words hit Jeongguk's ears hard.
He doesn't think as he moves towards the pile. Shuffling the blanket off and pulling books down. When he comes back to Taehyung, a leather-bound book rests on his palms. It's etched in front, the word 'Jeon' laid.
The younger flips and flips until turning the book to Taehyung. The pages were stained with ink, words, and passages from Jeongguk's mother.
"She loved you a lot," and fuck if that didn't ache.
It's a long passage, Jeongguk's birth date scribbled at the top. She writes about her birth, how she was surrounded by family and friends.
It's common for bookkeepers to write a small story about their children when they're born, but with Jeongguk it's goes on for two pages. The older male barely finishes the second paragraph before the other male closes it.
"Your father loved you." The comment makes Jeongguk's stomach hurt. She wrote about how he wouldn't let Jeongguk go when the alpha was born. How he cried for his son.
"He was."
Covering the books with the blanket, his hands were hesitant.
"You don't talk about him," the older male says, watching the other move. "Were they together long?"
Jeongguk squeezes his eyes shut, releasing them before turning back to Taehyung. "They were."
"We celebrate lives here," the older male starts. "I'm sorry if I'm- nosy- but here we speak of our dead, for they lived a life."
The words spill from the years of teachings his father drilled into his head. Prim and proper.
"I think there was too much death-" the younger pauses. "To celebrate any lives that lived."
Taehyung frowns, not sure. "My father-"
Jeongguk cuts him off, not harshly, but the words he has to say first: "I've talked to him before, I don't want to talk to him again."
"I wasn't going to say that." The older alpha watches Jeongguk's face get red. Taehyung feels bad for even coming in here. "My father- he told me not to talk to you about it, but I want to tell you: I want you to talk about it."
When Jeongguk says nothing, he goes on.
"You shouldn't keep this to yourself, I'm happy you shared the book, and I'm happy you talk about them-"
"Them? You don't even understand how much there was."
"So tell me," voices Taehyung. His voice is soft, like he understands he's pulling even if it's hard.
"I buried them all," the younger sits on his bed mat, finally. His knee aches. Following, Taehyung sits in front of him. "Every single one of them. When the sickness happened, we didn't know how much it would take. The men were first. I remember how their mates begged for them to get better. They had their hands together and yelled at the sky. Then like- everything else followed."
"How old were you?" The older alpha asks, watching Jeongguk's blank face.
"Eighteen."
At eighteen, Taehyung was picking fights with his father and making bonfires with his friends. Jeongguk deserved that too, he thinks.
"I couldn't let more die. I had to help- what the hunters taught me, I used. Then, when the food ran out when winter came, more died. That's when you found us. I remember that day. How they were scared of you," at that, Jeongguk weakly smiles. "They thought you were scary, big."
"How many had passed at that point?"
The question, Jeongguk doesn't even need to think, "134."
The number is worse than Taehyung expected; it makes his chest hurt. The Nakdong area is full of small packs, but when the older alpha found Jeongguk's people, there were only 27, including a baby who had just lost its mother. How he screamed and wailed like he understood the feeling of his own grief.
"You buried all them?"
Jeongguk nods.
"Even-"
Taehyung feels the tears in his eyes flooding his vision when the older male nods.
Jeongguk remembers the grave he built for his mother. How he buried her in his nicest fur, covered her clothes in flowers picked from the nearby field. She looked quiet, a state not normal for her.
He buried her next to her mate. His father lay forever next to her. Together since childhood and forever in the soft earth.
"I'm so sorry, Jeongguk." Tears fall from the older male's eyes. The other alpha falters his gaze.
In a natural way, Taehyung puts a hand over Jeongguk's hands that are resting in his lap. Rubbing his thumb over the other man's knuckles, his warm hand passing unknown words.
It's silent, bodies warm.
Jeongguk can smell the comfort the older alpha is radiating. The warm scent reminds him of the river back home, back in the cabin. Jeongguk's nose was invaded by it.
The earthy scent draws tears to the younger male's eyes.
Taehyung can only watch him sob. Drawer closer, hesitant but not pushed away, so he pulls Jeongguk in a half hug. Their knees pressed together, and the older alpha could feel Jeongguk's tears wet his shirt.
"It's okay, I'm sorry, Gguk."
His words are quiet, whispered only for the younger to hear. It's growing closer to night, the moon drawing closer every passing moment.
"Your scent is so sad, please-" it's please to draw the younger back. It's agony smelling it; it stings. "Ggukie-"
Rubbing his cheek against Jeongguk's left ear weakens the tears. Blossoming a new emotion in his scent.
An owl outside whos and the moon lingers and everything changes between them.