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Peter doesn’t remember much before the age of seven. Hardly anything at all, only a few snippets that don’t make sense and he’s never told a soul about. Not even uncle Ben or aunt May.
The reality of it is that Peter remembers pain, fists, crunching bones, harsh Russian, and a few things much gentler that he knows should slot together but just don’t. A cold hand patching up wounds, a deep voice singing a lullaby he’s not been able to find anywhere, and that same voice calling him крошечная искра.
When Peter was seven and May and Ben took him in, away from all of that. Well let’s just say that Peter quickly figured out that him knowing Russian and how to throw a punch that could make a grown man stagger was abnormal.
So he hid it. Carefully learning what being a normal kid meant and replicating it. Never mentioning to even his closest friends that he knows Russian, nor mentioning that he can’t help but notice weakness in people.
When Peter’s particularly panicked he can’t help but sing the lullaby he remembers from all those years ago, even now it always calms him. He was twelve when he first recorded the lullaby on his phone and plays it when he desperately needs comfort but needs to keep quiet.
The first time Peter meets Bucky at the tower the boy knows he should find the other man intimidating but can’t. Bucky inexplicably reminds Peter of the man who would gently speak to him in that dark cold place. The man Peter will never remember the real name of but will always think of as Снег.
Which is kinda stupid as Bucky is so much gruffer and colder than the man who lives in his memories. However, that doesn’t stop the comparisons that pop into his mind. That Peter would have probably been just like Bucky if Ben hadn’t saved him, if Снег also hadn’t been there.
It’s hard to be intimidated by someone who Peter knows he could be just like. Everyone but Nat always seems so baffled by Peter’s complete lack of fear of the man. Though Nat’s confusion is just less visible.
Which leads us to the present where Bucky is muttering under his breath in Russian about annoying spiders. It’s before a movie night when Peter suggested watching Star Wars as he does every movie night.
Without thinking Peter responds to the muttering in the same language. “Да ладно тебе, я не такой уж и надоедливый.” (Oh, come on, I’m not that annoying.)
Everyone pauses to stare at Peter, and Tony is the first to speak. “You know Russian?! Since when?”
“Umm, I’ve always known it?” It comes out more like a question than a statement.
“And why маленький паучок, have you never mentioned this?” Nat says this with a raised eyebrow.
“It never came up.”
“That’s a horrible excuse kid.” Tony sounds very unamused.
It’s not long before the incident is moved past and the movie night continues without further incident.
•—————•—————•~•—————•—————•
The next time something utterly bizarre featuring Peter happens it’s in the early morning when most everyone is gathered in the kitchen milling about eating breakfast to begin their Saturday morning.
Bucky however is in a foul mood after having been kept up all night from nightmares of having to train kids for HYDRA. Something that until recently he had entirely forgotten.
The broken and beaten kids' faces have been haunting him far too much lately. He gets the distinct impression that it’s something he did nearly the whole time he was under HYDRA’s thumb.
As the grumpy man brews his coffee Peter interrupts his guilty thoughts with something so unexpected.
As Peter walks past he ruffles the other man’s hair saying, “no point in ruminating on the fuel spent to survive the frigid night.”
That phrase startles Bucky so bad he spills his coffee as the memory of saying that exact phrase to a little girl no older than 11 with short black hair hits him. He had ruffled her hair as he said it in nearly the same way Peter just had.
The girl had spent the night suffering unspeakable horrors at HYDRA’s hands and died only a few days later. But how does Peter, the boy who’s practically sunshine incarnate, know that phrase?
“You okay there Buck?” Steve asked Bucky this right as Sam quietly scolds Peter for touching Bucky without warning. Saying something about the man still adjusting.
“Yeah just startled, don’t worry about it Steve.” The response comes absently mindedly as he ruminates on how Peter could have known that phrase.
Steve doesn’t seem to quite believe him, after all he isn’t usually so easy to startle. Even before his morning coffee.
Nat gazes at him intensely clearly sensing there’s more to the matter than he’s sharing. A seed of fear starts to form in Bucky’s mind. Nothing he dares to even yet think of to himself let alone voice. After all, Peter is so sweet and innocent. One time the boy cried when Tony killed a spider that the kid was cowering from. So he dismisses it as a coincidence. There’s no way he has any HYDRA connections. The incident is quickly put out of his mind until nearly a month later.
•—————•—————•~•—————•—————•
There’s another alien invasion in New York.
“Seriously, how often are these things?” Clint asks as he fires an arrow into one of the alien’s eyes.
“No clue but I have a chemistry test today and I don’t think my teacher will be happy if I’m late.” Peter’s comment garners a few laughs from the others as they work together to handle the threat.
“Don’t worry kid, I'm sure they will understand an alien invasion causing you to be late for school.” Steve seems to try and placate the boy. After all this alien invasion so happens to be at an ungodly hour of the morning.
“You think teachers’ care about alien invasions anymore? Hah, Mr. Rogers, they’ll take that excuse about as seriously as saying a dog ate your homework.” Peter’s voice is bright and happy as he says this.
“Just what has life become?” Tony’s comment is quiet but causes everyone to laugh.
As the invasion is almost handled Bucky notices three different aliens attacking Peter at once and moves to help before almost freezing. He recognizes those moves. How could he not after HYDRA drilled them into him?
It’s just for a split second but in that moment where he’s almost overwhelmed Peter moved like someone trained by HYDRA. No one else but Nat could have even noticed it was so subtle but he has no doubts.
The seed of doubt that formed nearly a month ago starts to sprout. That the boy who acts likes he’s made of sunshine might actually be a HYDRA agent undercover. He doesn’t want it to be true but the kid knows Russian, he said the exact words Bucky would use to comfort kids being trained by HYDRA to Bucky, and is now moved like he’s been trained by them.
He shoots Nat a quick look the same moment she does the same. Later that night they confer. Neither of the ex assassins want it to be true but they share the facts with one another. Deciding to keep it to themselves for now but they’ll be keeping a closer eye on the spiderling. After all, it still could be a coincidence, it was really early after all.
•—————•—————•~•—————•—————•
It’s pretty early in the evening, however Peter fell asleep on the couch in the living room of the tower. The boy has been running himself ragged lately.
The others are remaining fairly quiet as they mill about simply relaxing and enjoying the quiet evening.
Well that is until Peter’s face contorts in pain and he squirms on the couch muttering in Russian. “Нет, сэр, пожалуйста, только не в морозилку!” (No sir, please, not the freezer!)
It takes only moments for Tony to shake the young boy awake. “Kiddo, it’s just a nightmare, calm down.”
He jolts up looking frantic and ready to fight before seeming to realize where he is and relax. “Sorry Mr. Stark.”
“Don’t worry about it kid, nightmares aren’t abnormal in our professions”
Yet Peter’s words caught Bucky’s attention. The language spoken combined with talking about a freezer, that seems so much like HYDRA punishment. He exchanges a look with Nat silently communicating that this is going on their list of evidence against Peter.
Bucky can’t help but start to believe the boy he so desperately wants to like is actually sent by HYDRA.
•—————•—————•~•—————•—————•
The final nail in the proverbial coffin comes about a week later. The team is working together to take down a shipment of HYDRA weapons just outside the city.
Everything is going pretty smoothly Clint, Tony, and Sam working together to control the perimeter and ensure no one escapes. While Steve, Nat, Bruce, Bucky, and Peter handle the men and securing the weapons.
That is until the young spider freezes for just a second at the sight of one of the agents. The woman starts to speak in Russian with a grin before Steve throws his shield into the woman.
It’s clear that the two recognized one another. It’s clear to everyone. No one likes the implications. They handle the rest of the weapons dealers quickly before heading back to the tower. Not a word is said by anyone.
Well except by Bucky and Nat who silently text one another on how to present their suspicions to the team. After all, everyone loves the kid. No one will want to believe them.
Back in the tower where they should be safe is where the careful silence shatters. Peter pulls his mask off looking pale and wide eyed as soon as they get to the living room. He’s shaking like a leaf.
Nat was just about to speak up and share her and Bucky’s thoughts but Tony interrupts before she has the chance.
“Kid what the hell was that? You froze, and how the hell did you and that agent know eachother?”
Peter doesn’t respond as he collapses against the wall and his breaths start to come in short bursts. He closes his eyes and looks so startlingly overwhelmed.
Steve doesn’t even bother to reprimand Tony for his language.
The boy shakes and hugs his knees to himself, breathing rapidly for a few moments before slow, shaky, and musical words escape the boy.
“Dancing down amongst the leaves
Lies a woman so fair and sweet
Born of ash bark and fire
A borrowed heart within her chest
A sparrow wandering beyond the bounds
Daring to outrun her fate”
All of Bucky’s fears and worries vanish as he looks at this boy. As the image of a three year old with those same eyes and hair is held in his arms listening to Bucky sing that same song
Slowly approaching and pulling Peter into his arms Bucky joins Peter in the next verse.
“No they will not claim her now
As the bell rings out for her soul
Go gently reaching for that sorrow
Touch the hope now never found
Cradled in these frozen arms
Knowing winter’s always near”
Peter leans into his side, his breathing slowing as the song continues. Bucky’s attention is solely on the boy he faintly remembers training. A boy who disappeared at the age of seven much to their handler’s anger.
“No this cold is not your foe
Rather the mother long gone
The comfort never given
The harshness to protect all so vulnerable
To feel a shadow of what was stripped away
Gather near so her story may never fade”
The whole team stares in confusion at the two men on the floor gently singing. Inexplicably calming Peter down as he becomes lax in Bucky’s arms.
“Are you alright now крошечная искра?” Bucky’s voice is low and gentler than most have ever heard it.
Peter just nods and cries into the older man’s chest. As Clint speaks up, voicing the confusion of everyone in the room. “Okay what the fuck just happened?”
“I helped Peter calm down.” Bucky states this calmly as if everything that just happened is normal. He holds Peter close and gently runs his metal hand up and down the boys back in a slow soothing motion.
“Yeah, Buck we figured that much out but we still don’t know what’s going on. Like why Peter suddenly started singing or why you joined in.” Steve just looks baffled and worried as he says this.
“I used to sing it to him when he was little and needed comfort. I guess it still helps even now.” This comment doesn’t seem to help anyone’s confusion and rather causes more concerned looks.
“But you were under HYDRA control until just recently.” Tony says this carefully like he’s terrified of the answer.
“Yes, well from the ages of three to seven so was Peter.” He says this like everyone else in the room is slow and holds Peter even tighter.
Nearly everyone upon hearing this looks like they were struck. “Pete, bambino, why didn’t you ever say anything about this?” Tony says this like he’s afraid Peter will break if he speaks too loud.
“I didn’t know it was HYDRA, I was too young to know what was really going on. When I saw that agent I figured it out and well… that’s an unpleasant discovery. Bucky made it bearable.”
Nat almost looks angry as she speaks up, “and Bucky why didn’t you mention any of this?”
Bucky winces, “I didn’t realize who Peter was until he started singing. The kid’s changed a lot in the years since I’ve last seen him.”
Peter laughs wetly, “I was so confused as to why you reminded me so much of Снег, and why I’ve never found you scary. But your voice is just the same as I remember when you sing.”
Bucky just smiles softy and runs his fingers through Peter’s hair. Knowing at least one of the kids he comforted in the frigid halls is okay, happy, healthy, and for some bizarre reason is comforted by him even know. His heart warms at the thought of this child still finding comfort in his arms.