Chapter Text
He checked the time on his watch as he packed his things. His shift ended over an hour ago, but he wanted to finish up some things on the new AI. Once he finished up enough to go off of tomorrow, he shut down the desktop and got ready to go home.
As he was getting ready to leave the building, Jessie came up to him. “Grant! I didn’t think you were still here. You were really quiet.” He joked.
Grant smiled back. “I’m about to leave. I’m getting tired, and I have to go see my wife.”
Jessie frowned. “Damn, I was gonna ask if you could come over to my place for a bit.”
Grant checked his watch again. 8:34pm, it read. Rochelle was going to get nervous. He’d stayed out before with Jessie, but every time he had the scary feeling that the late-working excuse wasn’t going to work much longer. But, on the other hand, Grant couldn’t bring himself to say no. Jessie had been diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor a couple months prior. He was only 25, yet he had such little time left.
At first, Jessie and Grant were the best of friends. Grant got through to him better than anyone else could. He was intelligent, which was something Jessie really appreciated. Jessie, once you got to know him, was quite kind, to Grant at least. Grant didn’t know exactly why, but he loved spending time with him. He cherished every second the two hung out, either in or outside the office.
Then, Jessie was diagnosed.
His entire world was flipped on it’s head. He had, at most, 2 years left to live. He had goals, dreams, he wanted a family with a loving wife and beautiful children. He wanted a big house and a grand setup to create the world’s most advanced computer science projects.
But that tumor…
Grant was the first person he told. He had never seen Jessie cry until then. He babbled between sobs, crying about how he didn’t want to die, and how he had to fufil his purpose, and how God was basically telling him he wasn’t worth a life force. Grant had pulled him into a hug, and he squeezed him like his life depended on it. Grant’s warmth felt as if it was healing him. His hands trailed along Jessie’s spine, giving him a feeling he couldn’t describe with words.
Jessie loved Grant. He hadn’t felt love until he saw Grant on his first day at the office. He was a young, eager man, who was ready to focus on programming and nothing else. Grant teased him for his eagerness, but he knew that the older man was more proud than anything. Jessie would seek out conversations and hang-outs with Grant, something he never did for anyone else.
So, you could imagine his heartbreak when Grant mentioned his wife.
The thought of the one he craved most being betrothed to another broke his heart into a thousand pieces. He finally found someone to love after years of searching, and of course fate had to do him like this.
There was no use fighting it. Jessie would just have to cherish every moment between him and Grant. He’d overthink every glance. He’d long for that accidental bump of the hand to last forever.
And then the diagnosis happened.
Jessie still felt the dread of his impending doom as Grant held him close, but the feeling of victory was mixed in there strongly. The way both of their chests touched, the way Grant tightly wrapped his arms around him… It felt like Grant was finally, after the years they were friends, his.
He just needed to lock it in fully.
He released himself from Grant’s grasp, feeling the warmth slip away in an unsatisfactory manner. Grant’s hand went up to cup Jessie’s face, his thumb wiping away another tear. Jessie leaned into his touch. His cheeks felt like they were on fire with how close he was to Grant.
“Do you feel a little better?” Grant asked, his voice soft. Jessie nodded, his eyes not leaving Grant’s. “Good. No matter how much time you have left, I’ll be by your side for all of it.”
Jessie nodded. The two stared into each other’s eyes for what felt like forever. No one said a word, but the silence was comfortable. There were too many thoughts in Jessie’s mind for him to notice anyway.
One of those thoughts was to lean forward. He wrapped his arms softly around the back of Grant’s neck. A soft blush creeped onto Grant’s cheeks.
Then, Jessie closed the distance between their lips.
Surprisingly, Grant didn’t lean away at first. He took his hand from Jessie’s cheek, and comfortably placed it on his waist. Jessie took it as an invitation to lean forward, further pressing himself into Grant’s mouth. Grant was quite caught off guard, the initial surprise making his brain shut off for a moment.
Then Rochelle flashed into his mind.
And he pulled away.
“Jessie…” He said, out of breath. “Jessie, I’m sorry, but I can’t… My wife, she can’t know about this.” He panicked. Of course he did, he just kissed his best friend while his wife waited on him at home!
Grant took his hand from the dying man’s waist and set it on his own lap. Jessie didn’t respond at first. He stayed staring into Grant’s eyes, his beautiful blue eyes, while thinking of what to say next.
“Grant, you’re everything to me.” Jessie started. “You made me want to live. Every time I see you, my heart pounds out of my chest and I have to fight back the urge to grab you and hold you close and claim you as mine.” His hands never left the back on Grant’s neck until then. He moved them to the older man’s shoulders. “You’re why I’m scared of death, Grant. The thought of never seeing you again… I… I can’t do it.”
Grant’s heart felt like it was going to explode. This was so wrong. All of it was so wrong. Rochelle was his wife, his lover, his everything. Jessie was also a big part of them, but they were friends. It would be difficult to keep that up now, now that Jessie had just confessed his love to him. Grant was too stunned to move
A tear ran down Jessie’s cheek. His head pounded, his heart pounded, everything was so overwhelming. His fingers gripped Grant’s shoulders.
“Please…” Jessie said, his voice sounding strained and dry. “She had her entire life with you, Grant. I only have 2 years, max. Just give me this. For once in my life, just let me win. Once I’m gone, I don’t care what you do,” Jessie’s hands went to cup Grant’s face. His eyes were wide. “But please, just stay with me until I pass…”
Grant inhaled. “Okay.”
That night went down how you’d expect. Jessie hadn’t ever felt bliss like that until he had Grant’s fingers run up and down his un-clothed stomach, leading down to his lower half. With tears in his eyes, he gripped the sheets. He was finally getting what he wanted. All it took was some stupid tumor, and he got what he wanted.
There were more nights just like that one. Grant knew what Jessie inviting him over meant. “Jeez, Jessie, we did this last week…”
Jessie chuckled. “I’m not hinting at what you’re thinking, you dirty minded fool.” He teased, reveling in the slight blush that appeared on Grant’s cheeks. “I just need help cleaning out my basement. One of my ex’s left all her shit down there, and I’m tired of seeing it all.”
“Alright, alright.” Grant agreed. “But we can’t take too long. Rochelle is most likely still awake, waiting for me.”
Jessie smiled. “I won’t keep you too long.” He took his keys out of his pocket. “I’ll drive us there.”
Despite not aiming for having any sex that night, it ended up happening anyway. Long story short, Grant was a mess afterwards. He checked the time fearfully. 11:45pm. “Shit, it’s so late… Can I… Can I use your shower?”
“Of course, why wouldn’t you be able to?” Jessie joked.
After a quick rinse, Grant got Jessie to drive him home. The drive was quiet. Grant stared out the window, guilt washing over him. He always felt guilty after being with Jessie, but it never stopped him. He couldn’t back away. Jessie was dying. It was his dying wish to be with Grant.
But Rochelle…
He got into his car, taking some of Jessie’s old ex’s clothes with him for Rochelle. He knew that they’d make her happy. She never got out of the house much to shop anyway.
Grant felt guilty for leaving her alone all the time, but work and Jessie were a lot. Jessie wanted the AI done before his condition got worse. It already wasn’t looking the greatest. They had completely scrapped the first rendition done by Grant because of how unusual the behavior was. Despite Grant knowing it’d work itself out eventually, Jessie begged him to shelve it and start fresh. Jessie’s thinking was so abstract that it was now taking much longer to get the new one working properly because of how confusing his approach was.
But after it was done, Grant promised himself he’d take a day off to spend fully with his wife. She deserved it after all the time she’d spent waiting on him at home. Grant was starting to miss her as well. Her happiness, her fresh cooking, her obsession with insects she turned into a career.
He’d make it up to her once the new AI was done.