Chapter Text
Ilya ?
Today 10:34 AM
Hey! I’m Shane, Hayden gave me your number. She told me you’d be interested in helping me?
helping with what?
You know ...
I'd rather not say it
You're Matty right?
no
help with what?
i am man of all trades
Nevermind wrong number!
Today 10:04 PM
so who is matty?
Doesn't matter! I'm sorry I texted you
Hayden must've given me the wrong number
Apologies
what did you need help with?
Don't worry about it! We can forget it happened
if its something i can do i will gladly help you
shane hollander right?
Wait what
Should I know you?
ah no
but is hard for me not to know campus golden boy shane hollander
What
Fuck off
Who are you? Are you trying to play games with me because it's not fucking funny
Look I'm sorry I texted you but there's no need to be so rude
I'm gonna block you and please forget about this
noooooo shane
how am i supposed to help you if you have blocked me
😞😞😞
You don't even know what I need help with
You could be saying yes to hiding a body
i would do that
just for you
🤤
Look can I at least know who I'm talking to?
wheres the fun in that
😔😔😔
I can still block you
NOOOOO
i am sorry shane forgive me please i beg
im ilya
or boyfriend if you want?
😉
Today 9:09 AM
thats a no?
😔😔😔
you are missing out
I don't get it
What are you trying to get out of this?
i just want some fun
god forbid a man has a little whimsy
and you needed help i offer help?
match made in oven 😻😻
It's heaven
yes
so tell me what do you need help with?
Fine
But promise not to tell anyone
Like actually
Or else I will send the entire hockey team after you
pike will defend you?
you really are funnier than they say
Fuck off
I asked Rose if she knew someone willing to help me in the
erhm sexual department
?
shane hollander cant get girlfriend?
NO
It's not that
Look there's someone I like and we have started talking but I showed Rose the texts and she says I have no 'rizz'
Whatever that means
She told me she knew someone who could help teach me to flirt better
And maybe sext
and this matty guy was supposed to help you?
i did not know you swing both ways
I don't!!!!
He was just gonna read my messages and give me some tips
Like bros
yes very bro
Fuck off
Today 11:51 AM
i can help
i am expert
Are you forreal?
yes shane
show me boring texts with your girlfriend
She's not my girlfriend!
We just met at a party and got talking that's all
And I'm not showing you the messages that's private!
so how do you want me to help?
i fear i am not mind reader
yet
Just
I don't know!
I've never done this before
Maybe just tell me what you would text a girl you are talking to?
you have kissed yes?
send nudes?
What no
shane
🙄🙄
what have you done?
Nothing! We just met and talked the whole night
you did not go home with her?
what makes you think she is interested in you?
She gave me her number?
ah yes
the big sign she wants to fuck
Are you going to help me or what?
look shane i dont know how to tell you this
but normally women i flirt with i have already kissed
if not fucked
Oh so now being a whore is a good thing?
God forbid a man has some self respect and doesn't go around fucking anything with a pulse
you think insulting me will help you get this girl?
no wonder you are fumbling
Fuck what do I say
She told me about this new project she's working on in for her theatre course
I replied but now she seems uninterested?
Maybe hurt even?
shane what did you say
Well she told me about the project and when the final performance is
I told her she seemed really passionate!
and?
what else?
What do you mean what else?
After that we moved on to another topic
which was?
My last game
Did you see that last goal
Totally preventable
oh my god shane
i cannot believe i have to be the one to tell you this
but if she tells you about something she likes you have to at least pretend to be interested
I know!!
I told her she seemed passionate!
you cannot really think that was enough?
shane
this is worse than i thought
Today 2:47 PM
I'm sorry I had to run
Is it really that bad?
I thought it was quite a normal conversation?
shane i dont know what else you couldve said that wouldve made you sound more uninterested
next time tell her it sounds really intersting or fun
ask when her final performance is and if you can come
But I probably don't have time
Theatre finals are usually on fridays after 7pm
But that's open ice time I usually run drills
is it mandatory?
No it's open ice?
so skip it
you have to show her you are willing to make an effort
😓😓
unless you just want to hit
Hit?
I don't hit women! Or anyone for that matter
shane
world please be kind to him
😖😖😖
What?
do you just wanna fuck her?
or do you wanna romance
🤢
Ofcourse I don't wanna 'just fuck'
She seemed really nice and easy to talk to!
okay so from now on be more interested
ask about her classes
don't jump topics after one text
okay?
Okay I will try
I will let you know how it goes
😘😘