Chapter Text
"What the fuck!" Jax stood in a place they were never supposed to stand in again. In front of them the whole gang hovered over them. Their eyes looked down upon them as if they were some sort of lab rat.
They looked down at their shaking hands: Purple fur and oversized yellow gloves. Normal.
Normal? Why was this normal? It wasn't supposed to be normal!
They looked back into the see of eyes. All six of them were there. That's not how it was supposed to be! They were supposed to be alone in the void!
"Jax?" Pomni's hand extended out towards Jax's and grabbed it tight. "How do you feel?" Her big eyes blinked a couple of times and stared at Jax straight into their soul.
It was hard not to feel the intensity glaring directly into them. After all she had seen everything. Their history. Their issues. The truth…
Jax's started breathing heavily. Their eyes shrunk to a small pixel and their focus shifted from their friends to the heavy pounding echoing in their chest. Their hand reached out towards their chest and grabbed it tightly. What was happening? What was this?
Gangle's ribbons twitched and she turned over to her partner. "Do you think he's alright?"
Zooble rolled their eyes. "Probably. He's just being a fucking coward like usual."
"Hey!" Jax's eyes snapped back to normal and their finger pointed at Zooble. "I am not a coward."
Zooble blinked a couple of times as if they were stunned into disbelief. "Are you fucking serious? You ran away from us and abstracted because you were too much of a coward."
Abstraction… Jax's ears folded down and they looked around again. Wasn't that what happened? Weren't they supposed to have abstracted? How could they be back to being unabstracted? It was as if nothing happened. But they knew that wasn't true!
They continued to spin back between their friends and themselves. Why were they here again? Was this another abstraction fantasy? But…
Nevermind. Jax could feel the intensity of their stares on them. This was no fantasy… unfortunately.
"Ugh," Jax rolled their eyes and looked away. Their eyes glared daggers into the ground, anything to not look back at their faces. "What do you want?"
Zooble rolled their eyes again. "What do you think?"
Ragatha pushed in front of Zooble and stood over Jax looking down at them with pity in her eyes. "We should probably take it easy on him. This is his first moment back to normal after abstraction. It's not going to be easy to come back to."
"Come back to?" Jax grabbed their head and clutched onto it tightly. They already figured that out but it was weird having their theories confirmed to be correct. Their eyes scanned the digital circus. It looked the same as usual but also not. Additional flourishes matching the interests of the five of them decorated the room. A sense of both shine and additional messiness filled the halls.
"Yeah," Pomni said. She grabbed Jax's hand and gave it a squeeze. "We found out a way of reversing the abstraction!"
"We!?" called out a familiar boisterous voice. Out of nowhere Caine popped between the two and waved his hands in the air. "I was the one to bring him back to."
"Seriously?"
"Weren't you going to work on that?" Pomni asked.
Caine stood there stunned for a moment before blinking. "Oh- Right!"
"Besides it was Kinger who had the idea of fixing the code to unabstract them…" Gangle added.
Jax's eyebrow rose and they started chuckling. "I can't believe Kinger was able to do something like that."
"Kinger can do a lot when he's left in the dark." Ragatha smiled at Jax. "He's been really able to help us make the most of this place."
"I have?" A bucketless Kinger asked, his whole body tilting to the side.
"You sure have!" Caine jumped forward. "With you, I've been able to maximize my codebase even with reduced powers. And the power of us combined we were able to do this!" His arms flung forwards towards Jax, gesturing repeatedly to them as if trying to show off a trophy.
Jax blinked a couple of times. They got an idea of what was going on. But one thing stuck in their mind. Why them? They could only see the five they left behind. But what about all the others that abstracted before them. Why were they the first one to be brought back? They're a jerk! They're a runner! There's certainly so many others that would have been better choices to bring back. What about Ribbit? What about Kaufmo? They were so stunned and uncertain they stumbled for the words to say. There was so much they could say. So much to express, but yet the only word that came out was "Why?…"
"Why what?" Zooble stomped their foot down.
"Why did you unabstract me?"
Zooble groaned and their shoulders and arms flung down. "I told you all that he wasn't going to even want to be brought back."
"I'm sure he's just surprised by all the change." Ragatha softly rubbed her hands together. "It sounds like a lot."
Jax picked themselves up and brushed their legs off. "Yeah, give me a break. I need to get used to it all obviously." But they knew it was more than that. They knew Zooble's words had some amount of truth to it. But the truth was complicated. What did Jax want? They didn't know. They were stuck between two truths.
The runner. This was Jax. This is what they were used to. It was easier to run than to face the truth. To face the conflicting emotions in their heart. To open oneself up to embarrassment. To live a life that is truly theirs. There were so many things that Jax wanted that they ran away from. It was easy to run, it was hard to stay.
The bunny. This was also Jax. This bunny avatar fit them in ways that they never could have imagined. One that could be both masculine and feminine. One that could open up the desires that Jax tried to keep so hidden. The one that bonded with Pomni. With Kaufmo. With Ribbit…
Why was Jax here and not Ribbit? Pomni saw the truth! There was no running from Pomni. Pomni knew about who Jax truly was. She knew about what Jax did to Ribbit because of their own damn insecurities. Why would they prioritize Jax over Ribbit? Jax was a monster. Abstraction was what they deserved.
And yet here they were. They shouldn't be surprised Pomni did after all go to the lengths of abstraction to try to bring Jax back. This might as well be Pomni finishing the job.
Zooble snapped their fingers next to Jax's ear several times. "Earth to Jax, are you in there?"
Fuck! "Yeah of course I am." Jax snapped back and swung their head to Zooble. "I'm just thinking of how best to make my grand new entrance!"
"Sure…"
"It's a lot to take in, just let him have this excuse." Ragatha said.
Jax winced. They couldn't tell if Ragatha was clueless or if she was trying to poke at them. Knowing Ragatha it had to be the former. Not that it stopped the string. If anything it made it sting more.
Zooble sighed. "I don't know why I should be generous to him. But whatever. Fine."
"Because Jax had a tough time." Pomni grabbed Jax's hand once again and turned back to face them. "We can afford to give him some grace while he snaps back to."
"Exactly," Jax finally went back to their trademark smirk and smugly glared back at Zooble. If anything Pomni was on their side. Pomni wasn't going to tell them everything… at least it seemed like she didn't tell them yet, considering how they were treating them and how they referred to them. They waved their finger in front of Zooble taunting them like they were Caine. "Give me some time. After all I had such a hard ordeal to deal with. I need some time to recover."
Zooble groaned and flung their arms out. "Are we being serious here? If we give him any sort of leeway he's going to take it and run. Are we really going to do all of this for him and then let him be the jerk face that he is? I thought you said he was going to be better, Pomni."
"And I thought you said you we're on the same team even if I'm an annoying unlikable jerk." It felt so good to be back. This would be easy! Just get back to the same routine and it could be as if nothing happened!
Pomni nodded. "I did! Jax did a lot of growing while being abstracted." Pomni nudged Jax a couple of times. "Right Jax?"
Jax swished their hand dismissively in front of them. "Sure, whatever you say."
"He doesn't sound very different." Gangle's ribbons hovered one over the other, one rubbing the top of the other.
"Change doesn't happen in a day!" Pomni gestured to them and nervously smiled. She glared a couple of daggers into Jax. "I'll make sure he's on the path to being a great upstanding citizen!"
Zooble sighed. "Whatever. It doesn't matter." They brushed their hand away and turned away. "You said that he can help with getting the others back, so as long as he does his part, then whatever, it doesn't matter."
Jax's eyes grew wide and their pupils grew small. What did they say? Does his part? What did that mean?
While Jax was lost in thoughts of what Zooble could possibly mean, they walked away not looking back to Jax even for a second. Gangle watched Zooble, looked back at Jax, then back at Zooble. She scurried after Zooble until the two of them walked away side by side. Their hands reaching out towards each other.
Caine looked at them and shrugged. "Well! Looks like my work is done! I'll let you all have your time to catch up!" And just like that he poofed.
That left half the group gone and one confused Jax. They should be able to figure out what Pomni meant, however they were too stunned to be able to even process it. A lot had been going on in their defense.
Ragatha swung to the side and turned towards Pomni and Jax. "Would you like me to explain or would you like to?"
Pomni looked towards Jax. They held their big hands onto their head and squeezed it slightly. She then looked back towards Ragatha. "I guess I could explain. After all, I probably know what's better to say than anyone."
"You probably do. Should I leave you two alone then?"
Pomni slowly nodded and looked away. "Yeah I think that would be for the best."
"All right." Ragatha motioned to Kinger and nudged him several times. "Hey Kinger, want to get a milkshake or something.
"I don't know. I'm not much of a milkshake drinker."
Ragatha nudged him several more times and glared at him.
"As a matter of fact, a milkshake sounds nice!"
And just like that, the two of them left leaving only Pomni and Jax alone.
Once they were far enough away Jax glared daggers into Pomni. "What the fuck! What is even going on here? Why would you take me back? I was perfectly happy being abstracted."
Pomni tilted her head to the side. "Are you sure about that?" Her voice contained a hint of snide.
"Yes!" Jax shouted and flailed. "I can't imagine anything more annoying than dealing with all of you again.
Pomni took in a deep breath and clasped her hands together. "Really?"
Jax shivered a little bit and their leg started to twitch. Normally they would be able to withstand a little pressure like this but the memories ran through their head. The thoughts of Pomni. Her digging into their mind and digging her way through it. The memory of those events with Ribbit. Opening themselves up. Closing themselves down and the distance that ultimately caused their friends to abstract. All of it ran through their mind. It felt like it had been forever, but it still felt so fresh. Maybe there was something in them that did want to stay. Maybe there was truth to Pomni's statement. But could they really let Pomni say such a thing? "Yeah right." They shrugged. "I think you're saying what you want to hear."
Pomni leaned forward pushed her hands gently against Jax's chest. "Yes, but I'm also saying what you want to hear."
Jax shivered. They leaned forward and their hands grabbed at their knees. It should be easy to deny this. It's what they had been doing for so long after all. But yet they couldn't find the words. Each time it was said it felt like the bits of armor they wore eroded away and fell off. If this kept on maybe the truth would be what was left.
"That's not true." It was all they could get out.
Pomni shook her head. "I know it's true."
Jax raised and eyebrow and leaned in towards her. They tried to take the advantage back anyway they could. They leaned right up next to her face. Their eyes staring into each others and their faces just inches away from each other. "Oh yeah? And how do you know that."
"Because of the code."
Jax blinked a couple of times and tilted their head to the side. "The code?"
Pomni nodded and her finger stratched at her cheek. "I guess I have to catch up on you on all this. Although to be honest, I feel like Caine or Kinger would be better for explaining this."
"Did someone call me?" Asked a loud announcing voice as Caine popped into the middle of them somehow wedged in the small gap between them.
"No!" Jax shouted
"Caine, I don't think this is a good time."
"Seriously, why are you here!"
"Didn't we say no spying?"
"I thought he was dead!"
Pomni nervously chuckled and swished from side to side. "Oh yeah… That's another long story."
"Believe me, I could tell you all about it." Caine cheered.
"No! Not now!" Pomni scolded.
"Seriously? Have you never heard of personal space?"
"No! Not until last week when Ragatha taught me about it I asked her about when she and Pomni were-"
"Seriously!? Did you learn nothing. I thought we got through to you!"
"Oh it did. Just you were kind of-" he paused and looked around and then pointed down to this area in the center of the circus. "Just right here."
"And does that make it any different?" Pomni asked.
"You said and I quote." And as if by magic Caine brought out a tape recorder that played a recording of Ragatha caught in HD. "Caine you have to understand we all need our private space so whatever powers you have to watch the circus for this, keep it only to the public places. That means not our rooms and not any other random rooms that we may find to try to have some peace and quiet."
The tape stopped and then Caine looked back at the large tent. "This isn't a room."
Pomni sighed and threw her hands forward. "I told Ragatha we should have gone back to my room. But no we didn't."
Jax blinked a couple of times and their head tilted farther. "Did I miss something?"
Caine nudged Jax with his elbow and chuckled. "Oh boy, you missed a lot of things."
"It does kind of happen when you're gone for half a year." answered Pomni.
"Half a year!?" Jax wasn't sure if they were surprised it had been that long or that short."
Pomni's fingertips poked at each other. "To be fair, I don't know how much time it's been."
"Me neither!" Caine said throwing his hands up.
Pomni's turned back to Caine and opened her arms up to him. "Anyway we'd prefer to talk things through alone."
"All right! Have it your way!" And just like that Caine vanished.
Jax looked back at Pomni and swished their arm to the side. "You didn't think to have Caine give the explanation while he was here?"
She shook her head. "No it's better if I give the explanation."
Jax blinked a couple of times and shrugged. "Suit yourself."
"But first… let's go to my room."
"Fine."
And so the two of them walked over to Pomni's room. She motioned for Jax to sit down on the bed and then took a seat next to them.
Jax leaned in towards her. "Are you trying to recreate that memory you saw?"
"No!" Pomni quickly responded, her arms rapidly crossing and waving in front of her. "This is probably the best way to talk about it though."
"Talk about what?" Jax said. "I have nothing to talk about."
This was going to be such a pain, wasn't it? "Look." Pomni said. "A lot has happened since you were gone. I don't know if I could explain it all the best but I'll try. After you got abstracted I tried to save you but it didn't work. Caine came back and he was no longer evil. And then he told us about the truth behind the digital circus and gave us the answers to our questions. I could go into them more later if you're interested, but more important is the fact that we found a way to get our friends unabstracted. And so we need your help as part of that process."
Jax blanked a couple of times and leaned forward. "And why would you need my help? Besides, who's to say that they wouldn't prefer just being abstracted?"
Pomni shook her head. "For the bug fix code to work they need to want to come back. The bug fix only fixes what was previously corrupted. Someone who wants to stay abstracted won't respond to the fix."
Jax blinked. "And what about me?"
"Well," Pomni said. "I may not have been able to save you then, but I saw when I was there. I know you want to be with us and to be openly yourself." Her hands grasped each other and her thumb twiddled together.
Jax sighed. It was hard for them to deny that. After all their will had been eroded Pomni swooped in to give them to finally admit bits of the truth… and wish they were seen earlier. Not that it meant much because after all it was still them.
Pomni nodded and turned towards Jax. "I'm sorry about that. But I wanted to save you. I still do want to save you. It may have been too late then but now with the code fixed is now it's not!"
Thoughts echoed in their mind. Sure, bringing Jax back it meant it wasn't too late for them. But what about Ribbit? What about Kaufmo? What about their mom? What about all of the others? It didn't seem fair that they could come back when the others were still struck and their abstracted states or dead. Their fingers twitched and their hands clenched into tight balls. They sat there unable to move forward but also unable to run.
It didn't take entering Jax's mind state to understand what they were thinking. Or maybe it did because Pomni had previously. But armed with that previous knowledge she had an idea of what was on their mind. "That's why it needs to be you."
Jax's ears popped straight up.
"The reason Ribbit abstracted is because of you."
An intense pang of pain coursed through Jax's bones. The truth. What they wanted to hear the most but also what they feared hearing the most. But they knew it. Their running hurt the one they cared about the most. It was their own fault that things went to shit and ultimately that they were the one who hurt her badly. It was all their fault. And finally someone had the guts to expose that straight in their face.
"But if you're the reason behind Ribbit's abstraction, that also means you can be the one behind Ribbit's unabstraction."
Jax blinked a couple of times. "Huh?"
"It's exactly as I said. You pulling away from her is what caused her to abstract. If the solution to deabstraction is to pull them in where they left then it needs to be you that reaches out to her and brings her back.
Jax waved their hands in front of Pomni and shook their head repeatedly. "I don't know if I could do that."
"You can," Pomni said. "I know you can. I know that you know the truth and I know that you want more than anything to make it up to her. That's why it needs to be you."
Jax groaned and looked down. A bit of sorrow tinted their eyes. "Even if that's true. Why would I deserve the chance?"
Pomni looked up towards Jax and gave them a soft smile. "Because you're my friend and everyone deserves another chance if you're able to own up to your mistakes and grow past it. You don't have to resign yourself to purgatory. You don't have to stay stuck in the past. It takes courage but with power you can overcome."
Jax sighed and flung their shoulders forward. "You know, you give me way too many chances."
"Maybe. But after seeing everything. I believe in you to come back better than ever." Pomni reached out and grabbed Jax's hand again. It felt so comforting. Even as the uncertainty bled through them.
Jax's heart pounded. They were a drumbeat. They were a lost lamb. They were a runner. But even runners run out of trails. Jax was stuck in a dead end with canyon walls eclipsing their lanky bunny body. But there Pomni was in a hot air balloon with her hand reaching out to grab Jax and pull them up.
All this change and new information and yet it boiled down to one simple thought that gnawed on Jax's mind. She really should have left me abstracted and alone.