Chapter Text
In the glimmering fields of Stereotypical England Town, a happy little rabbit skipped past an emptied house with the sign plunged in the ground; FOR SALE. It ought to stay that way, then maybe Rabbit could enjoy some peace and quiet with his children. He entered into his own home to meet his dearest friend Terrapin, who acts as an uncle while he’s searching for cabbages. The twins shook their rattles and babbled adorable nonsense. The teenager Lucy has occupied herself with action figures. Today is as normal as ever.
Rabbit set his handful of cabbages on the countertop and abruptly turned. “Terrapin, did you remember to get the butter?”
“I, uh…” He tapped his temple while looking to the ceiling- as if that’d give him advice on what to tell his friend. That’s all Rabbit had to see.
The yellow-furred widower became puddy and melted on the counter. The turtle stammered something about heading to the market immediately, but Rabbit shook his head. “No, no, Fox is usually out by this hour. I’m faster than you so I’ll just fetch some. Be back in a jiffy.” Terrapin would’ve argued, but Rabbit was right. That and he was already out the door.
More trees surround the bunny now. The central town is close enough so there’s no need to use the bike. Rabbit took one more deep breath. I’m the fastest critter in SET. Terrapin’s worry must’ve rubbed off on me. Thoughts of said friend didn’t assist his focus, and soon enough he bumped into the prissy pristinely-groomed pri- you get the point.
The orange and cream-coloured fox sneered subtly, sticking his nose in the air. A true snob. “I knew I sensed a repugnant piece of meat.”
Rabbit rolled his eyes. “If that’s the case, then there’s no need to hunt me, right?” He quipped. Fox furrowed his brow but then relaxed it, remaining as charismatic as he was insulting. “My alarmingly slow friend. You don’t quite understand, do you? I hunt for the thrill. The planning. The, eh, rather repetitive nature-”
“I’ve got no time for chatting, so if you’ll excuse me I’ll be on my way!” He hurried on. And again, Fox’s monologue is interrupted. I worked arduously on that one. How unsophisticated of him to just walk off. Fox grumbled, something so rare he surprised himself. He saw the rabbit teen named Lucy outside– and in an instant gained the perfect plan.
“Where is Lucy?” Rabbit hurriedly looked around the house for the fourth time. Terrapin hid partly in his shell. “Why are you just standing there? Check the town square!” The turtle jumped to realize he had legs and scurried out.
“She’s probably just riding a tank again… I shouldn’t be so panicked.” Then a knock at the door stopped him in his tracks. “Terrapin? Don’t say you’re already done looking because it hasn’t even been a minute!” He opens the door to find Fox checking his nails like a stone statue.
“And I thought I was dramatic.” Fox tutted.
“Where is my daughter?”
“Oh, you mean your absolute brat of a bunny? In my guest room enjoying the latest edition of Rabbit Ransom. Based on a true story.” He leaned forward on that last sentence. Rabbit felt less yellow and far more red. “You smart ox! When I’m done with you- why- you’ll be sorry for even coming to this town!”
“Are you finished with your empty threat yet?” Fox grinned, not minding how it revealed his teeth. “Good.” He straightened up, “Now. Hand over Bear’s cabbages.” The fox must’ve plotted with a carnivore again. Rabbit mentally cursed himself. “But that beast doesn’t even use them right!”
“I’d expect a response as bland as that to exit your tasteless mouth.” Another moment of resistance from the critter caused Fox to sigh. “Look, it isn’t that hard of a concept. Bear needs her tea. Now be a decent bunny for once and return what you took.”
“Don’t paint it like I’m the bad guy here! My children need food more than that fuzzball needs tea.” The yellow one raised his arms but couldn’t appear much larger anyhow. Fox tilted his head, genuinely curious now. “So you’re willing to give me one of your children to feed the rest? You’re starting to sound like Hamsie down the road.” Rabbit had just about enough of this prolix pansy. I’ll show him! “I’m not giving you anything. I bet you my carrot savings that I will get Lucy home lickity split.” Fox let out a puff of amusement, stating “Well in that case I bet my secret lasagna recipe that you will fall victim to my tricks.”
“What makes you think I’d want your bloody carnivorous meal?”
“What’s wrong with eating meat?” Rabbit shot Fox yet another look. “Fine, I’ll let you use my land for your stolen cabbages. Shall we shake on it?” And so they did.