Chapter Text
One year. One whole year since Sun has been home. One year without seeing her family, her friends, her Ongsa. Life in the states was different to say the least, different values, different perceptions on just about everything. It was tough to adjust at first, but she managed.
One thing over there that’s far different from here is the casual views on sex and relationships. Sun believes relationships are sacred, not something you indulge for one night just to feel wanted briefly only to never see the person again. Her classmates had far more experience than Sun, who had only gone as far as kissing. They had loose lips, blabbing about their nightly escapades like it was the weather that made heat shoot up Sun’s ears.
It got Sun thinking about her Ongsa every time. Her mind never drifted far from Ongsa. She knows how she has been doing, what little hobbies and interests she picked up since Sun left. But she wished she could see it in person, the creativity Ongsa never seems short of. The Instagram posts and late phone calls kept some sanity from missing her girlfriend too much but it still wasn’t the same as being in Ongsa’s presence.
But on the lonelier nights, her thoughts drifted somewhere darker, dirtier, in ways that had Sun’s body heating up, thighs clenching, and craving full lips on hers. She thought of how her classmates’ described their nights and thought of Ongsa doing the same to her. Clumsy inexperienced hands ghosting over skin, mouth sucking at her neck, panting breaths in her ear as Ongsa brings Sun to a peak as Sun brought herself to her own under her covers in the dead of night.
And now, being home again, the thoughts crash into her mind at full force.
Of course she’s not going to ask for it right off the bat. It’s been a year after all, and sitting up under the constellations, chatting with Ongsa beats those sensual thoughts into the ground every time. Sun will eventually bring it up somehow, in some way that hopefully doesn’t have Ongsa running for the hills.
Weeks after her arrival home, they’ve become practically inseparable. Now sitting in Ongsa’s bed, showing each other funny videos and pictures while they giggle and fall all over each other. Ongsa is bigger than her, but her weight is incredibly comfortable like a weighted blanket to make all her worries disappear.
Her thoughts stray again as she thinks of Ongsa's weight on top of her in a completely different scenario, one that has a spark pooling low in her gut. She imagines Ongsa pinning Sun beneath her, long slender fingers wiggling under her shirt, grasping her waist and guiding her hips while Sun grinds her pleasure out onto her thigh. Kissing down her neck while she grips the back of Ongsa’s oversized t-shirt with gasping breaths.
It’s so vivid, so close and yet so far from reach. A little whimper tears out of Sun at the thought before she can stomp it down. Ongsa hears it, frantic eyes snapping to her face as she bumbles off Sun with apologies and questions about her well being.
“I’m sorry! Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Sun?” Ongsa asks worriedly while tilting Sun’s face this way and that to check her for any injuries she could’ve possibly caused. There’s none, except the silent mourning of Ongsa’s lost weight and body heat. Face red, Sun grabs the hand cupping her face to peck a kiss onto Ongsa’s knuckles.
“I’m fine, Ongsa. You didn’t hurt me, I’m fine.” Sun assures, giving her hand a small squeeze that has Ongsa’s body relaxing. Ongsa smiles goofily at her, leaning in for a hug that Sun returns. It was one thing to hear Ongsa’s voice over the phone while she was an ocean away. It’s another to feel her and to smell her peachy shampoo. How she had missed her nervous, sweet, goof ball with intentions so pure it could rot her teeth.
From there a plan had formed, while Sun cradles the back of her girlfriend’s head, while Ongsa peppers tiny affections onto her cheeks. Sun laughs at the feeling, being kissed like this, loved like this blooms warmth into her.
Ongsa pulls away to look at her and Sun gives her a smile so bright it rivals her name. She pulls Ongsa in for a more proper kiss. Still innocent, close mouthed, and barely there. Familiar, the way they’ve kissed each other so many times before. She aches to move it into further territory, so she starts moving her mouth more methodically hoping Ongsa follows her lead.
She knows she was Ongsa’s first kiss, but Ongsa caught on fast. She’s even better at this than Sun remembers, opening when she opens, pinching her bottom lip between her own. The inklings of desire clouding Sun’s brain take over and she starts to lose her control in the kiss. First, her once gentle fingers start knotting in Ongsa’s ponytail as she pulls the elastic out while waves of black tumble free. Second, she drops her hand to Ongsa’s, urging those long fingers to her waist.
Ongsa still doesn’t pull away like Sun expects, gently holding the curve of Sun’s body like it’s something precious. Sun smiles into the kiss, so far so good. She softly kneads Ongsa’s shoulder, tracing the bone over her shirt. The fingers twitch slightly on her waist, like they want to dig in and pull, but they don’t. It’s still enough that Sun takes it as a sign to go even further.
They’ve never used tongue, but Sun heard far too many raunchy stories that she wanted to try it. The next second she opens her lips for the next kiss, Ongsa follows, but this time Sun swipes her tongue lightly over a full lip that asks for permission. Ongsa makes a confused sound and pulls away. The way her face furrows is so endearing.
“Um…Sun. Did…did you mean to do that?”
“Yes?” Sun face blushes at being called out.
“Why?”
“I don’t know…it just felt right?” Sun squeaks. She covers her face with her hands, willing the blush to dissipate so she could look her girlfriend in the face again. She peeks through her fingers, Ongsa’s cheeks wear a matching shade of red. Good, Sun is not the only one who’s embarrassed.
“Oh.” Ongsa’s brain is currently buffering to this new information. She sits up, knotting her fingers into her bedspread to quell the anxiety, the nervousness.
“Ongsa, you know that people kiss like that. It’s okay, it’s totally normal.” Sun sits up with her, unknotting a hand plucking at the sheets and intertwining their fingers. She brings their hands into her lap. Ongsa doesn’t look at her, but Sun knows she heard her. Ongsa bites the inside of her cheek like she’s trying to find the right words instead of blurting them out.
“Ongsa.” Sun speaks softly, trying again to get her girlfriend to look at her. It’s a little victory when Ongsa’s eyes flick up to meet hers. Sun props her chin onto Ongsa’s shoulder then pokes her nose into her cheek.
“Ongsa, it’s okay. I know it’s different from what we’ve done before. Do you…do you not want to try?”
“I like kissing you.” Ongsa says.
“I like kissing you too. I just thought…you know relationships progress. Like you know how babies are made?”
“Sun! Don’t be gross!” Ongsa squeals. Sun can’t help but give a little chuckle.
“Relax, we aren't making babies tonight.” Sun giggles, poking her cheek with her nose again.
“Stop, stop, stop, stop.” Ongsa cries, covering her ears from the offending statements. Sun smiles at her and gently forces Ongsa’s hands away from her ears to cradle them again.
“Okay okay. No more baby making talk. But…well…is it something you want to try someday? Even if it’s not today?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never done that before…” Ongsa shyly explains, shrugging the shoulder Sun isn’t occupying.
“Neither have I. You would be my first but it’s something I want to try with you.”
“What if I’m not good enough at it?” Ongsa admits.
Sun knows of Ongsa’s insecurities of not being good enough for her. She’s done her best at reassurance time and time again, she’ll never get tired of letting Ongsa know just how perfect she finds her.
“You’re amazing at everything you do. I know you’ll be good at this too.” Sun smiles, kissing Ongsa’s cheek and tilting her face towards her to see her pouting expression. Ongsa smiles back, just a little, enough for Sun to know she soothed those deep rooted fears for now.
“Can-can we take it slow?” Ongsa stutters.
“Whatever pace you need, I’ll follow.” Sun says softly. She hugs her girlfriend tightly, kissing her red cheek again.
“Do you wanna go to bed?” Sun asks, tucking a stray dark strand behind Ongsa’s adorable ear. Ongsa nods, resting her head in the crook of Sun’s shoulder as she guides them down to lay flat on their backs. Sun plucks Ongsa’s glasses off her face, folding them up and setting them on the nightstand.
Despite what just happened, Ongsa still curls into Sun like an oversized lanky kitten cuddling in for head scratches. She wraps an arm around Sun’s waist and pulls her close, still seemingly unable to get enough of her after their year apart.
“Love you.” Sun feels against her shoulder. She pecks Ongsa’s forehead, not missing the quick upturn of lips as Sun says it back.
Another few week later, she still hasn’t brought it up again. It plagues her mind all the same. It leaves her gasping awake in the middle of the night from vivid dreams and fantasies that have her loins burning and throbbing. She's not a stranger to her own body, she knows exactly what she likes. The right pressure, the right patterns to get herself off as she whispers Ongsa’s name. She wonders if Ongsa knows her own body, and if she didn’t, the honor it would be to learn it together.
But she’s getting ahead of herself. She wonders if that encounter is even in the near future at the current rate. They both have initiated more kissing since but still not breaching each other’s mouths like Sun is craving.
It’s the first step to hopefully bringing up the topic of sex. Sex that Sun is ready for, has been ready for, for a while now. She knows Ongsa isn’t ready yet, and that’s okay, she isn’t expecting her to be but the desire fills her brain so intensely. It’s a miracle she’s still functioning properly while with how turned on she gets herself.
Sun is supposed to meet up with her late tonight to watch the meteor shower. Sun figures that since their first kiss was under those circumstances maybe this one could be too.
Ongsa’s sister and cousin wave as she pulls up beside the house. Inviting her in for a quick chat about the exchange program while Ongsa finishes gathering up supplies: a blanket, snacks, Sun’s favorite drink. Her face lights up when she strides into the kitchen with a backpack slung over her shoulder.
Sun says her goodbyes while being ushered out the front door. As soon as it’s closed, Ongsa throws an arm over Sun’s shoulder that chases away the light chill of the night. Sun slings an arm around Ongsa’s waist, grinning when she feels a kiss to the top of her head.
They drive to their favorite stargazing spot, where city lights don’t pollute the stars and inky blacks and blues show in full force. Ongsa unfolds the blanket, spreading it evenly across the grass before taking a seat and patting the space next to her. They lie back, fingers twined together between them as they point out constellations one by one.
It’s colder than Sun thought it would be and she didn’t bring an extra layer. The sweater she’s wearing wasn’t enough to keep the chill out. She shivers, her teeth chatter and Ongsa glances over at the sound. Immediately she’s sitting up and pulling off her sweatshirt. Sun doesn’t miss the sliver of skin that briefly comes into view as Ongsa wrestles the fabric over her head. Indecent images flash through her mind and Sun pointedly looks away as Ongsa hands the sweatshirt over with a silent ‘take it’ look on her face.
“Won’t you be cold too?” Sun asks, gingerly taking the offered clothing and pulling it over her head. She is engulfed in warmth and in Ongsa’s perfume. She brings the collar to her nose to take in more of the comforting scent.
“I don’t want you to catch anything. I’ll be fine.” Ongsa assures, adjusting her glasses so they fit correctly on her face. Sun silently swoons at that, it’s cuter than it has any right to be. She can’t help it, she pinches Ongsa’s cheek in a moment of cuteness aggression. Leave it to someone named Sun to brighten up the situation.
“You’re so sweet.” She says, now squishing both Ongsa’s cheeks together until her lips pout. She gives chaste kisses as thanks, each one getting longer and longer until she’s pushing Ongsa onto her back and stretching out by her side.
Her plan is unfolding as perfectly as she intended. Now pressed up against her girlfriend, kissing under the stars, pillowy lips moving wonderfully against her own. Ongsa rolls onto her side, resting her palm over Sun’s waist in a near perfect mirror of their position in Ongsa’s bed a few weeks ago. There’s giddiness in Sun’s chest, an excitement at the realization she didn’t have to encourage that. Ongsa did it on her own volition, her own desire to be closer.
Sun pushes into her harder as she waits for the ideal moment to swipe her tongue over Ongsa’s lips. Not yet, not until Ongsa is lost in the passion, in the feeling of Sun that she loses herself a little.
The butterflies in Ongsa’s stomach are getting easier to ignore, the feeling of too much, too fast being shoved into a small corner in the back of her mind. As she gives into the feeling, Ongsa’s grip tightens on Sun’s body, tugging her closer and that’s the moment Sun knows. It's go time.
Sun holds her girlfriend gently by the nape of her neck, scratching softly into her hairline that has a shiver bolting down Ongsa’s spine that has nothing to do with the weather. There’s a barely heard hum against Sun’s lips but she feels it. Knows that finally Ongsa is lost in the heat of her partner.
Sun parts her lips slowly, taking Ongsa’s lip between her own in a gentle suck. She feels the hum again, louder, and firmly licks the lip lodged in her mouth. Silently praying it works.
Ongsa’s lips part under hers as a tentative tongue reaches out to meet in the middle. Sun takes it slow, barely grazing the muscle then harder when it doesn’t retreat. Ongsa bunches the sweatshirt in her hand as her breathing picks up under the new sensation of someone else’s tongue in her mouth.
Except Ongsa isn’t exactly reciprocating. Her tongue is limp as Sun tries to coax it into moving. That is until Sun moans and tightens the grip on her nape to pull her in just a little more until it finally kicks her hormonal young adult brain into gear. She tries to replicate the movements, the twists and curls and flicks against teeth. Messy and quick and little off the line. Still nervous as fuck, afraid of screwing it up but encouraged by Sun’s reactions. She's doing something right, surely.
So Sun takes a risk, a fucking big risk and rolls them until she’s on top of Ongsa. She breaks the kiss to look up at her in surprise, but the dilation of her pupils is so large, Sun can see the stars reflecting in them. She gulps down the sudden nerves and leans back down to kiss Ongsa again.
Ongsa pulls her in, fingers tangling in her colored hair with one and knotting the back of her sweatshirt with the other. Yes, yes, this is exactly what Sun wanted. This is exactly what she’s been dreaming about for what feels like forever. Their lips part again, tongues meeting more confidently and with the fluidity of practiced amateurs.
Desire drips molten down Sun’s spine and a feeling in her head she’s never felt before. As a result of pure passion and want to flood dopamine into her brain. Hotter than any night with her hand and perverse thoughts could ever be. The heat pools into her gut then throbbing builds between her thighs, a deep feeling of empty, more, more. She has to stop herself from grinding down.
Gone is the shy wreck her endearing girlfriend usually is, to someone giving and receiving as good as she gets. Ongsa almost squeaks at the feeling, face heating up at the sheer need Sun is showing for her. She doesn’t think of stopping now. This is way better than Ongsa could ever have expected.
Sun shakily sighs when Ongsa runs the tip of her tongue over the roof of her mouth. Moans when Ongsa firmly licks the slick muscle into backing down. Uncharacteristic but holy fuck that’s hot, that feels so good. Please don’t ever let this end.
Ongsa cups her face, practically holding Sun’s jaw open while their lips and tongues work together. Sun takes another big risk and rests her hand over Ongsa’s leg, slowly inching her way up to hopefully touch the skin of her stomach. It feels like hours, but before she reaches her destination, the need for air wins and Ongsa pulls away. She’s breathing heavy, wide eyed while the nerves come back full tilt as Sun stares gobsmacked at her.
“Oh my goodness Ongsa.” Sun whispers in awe. She pulls her hand away, knowing now it would be going too far. Now that her head isn’t blinded, rationalization comes back.
“Uh. Did you…did you like it? Was I okay?” Ongsa asks nervously. Sun wraps her arms around her partner’s neck, laying until her head rests on Ongsa’s chest as she runs her fingers through her hair while Sun smiles like a fool.
“You’re perfect, just like I knew you would be.”
Phase one completed.