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Riku sits in the sand, leaned forward with his head resting on folded arms. He stares out at the horizon with an empty intensity; empty of purpose, empty of emotion. Even when he tries to feel nothing at all, his gaze is still intense. It’s the way he does everything- giving all the energy he can muster.
The sun is setting, not the picturesque golden sunset over the sea, but the kind where the sun is already mostly under the horizon. Not the scene they use on postcards, but the sad, quiet night that creeps up after.
The beach was alive with activity earlier. Friends gathered from all over in the hopes of being there for Sora and Kairi’s triumphant return. Except… only Kairi returned.
Sora was there for a moment, they all saw it, but then he was gone again like a mirage. Kairi had explained the little she knew, but it became clear that Sora wasn’t coming back tonight. Or if he would ever.
Everyone else has retreated to the gummi ship by now. They’re all bunking there for the night (it’s bigger on the inside, somehow?) and plans for the search tomorrow are already being discussed. But Riku sits here in the sand, folded in on himself, staring out into the sea. He doesn’t even hear the soft footsteps behind him.
Naminé stands there and watches him for a time. The sorrow shows on her face, though no one is there to witness it. Her heart- yes, her heart- aches in a way that’s new to her. After a while, she comes closer and carefully sits down in the sand next to Riku. She doesn’t speak, only watches the horizon just like him.
Riku is passively aware of her presence, the way a person is aware of a cat entering a room. He knows she’s there, but it hasn’t really clicked as something that needs attention just yet. Eventually, when the empty void gets too loud and emotions threaten to actually be known, Riku comes back to the present. He’s not sure how long he’s been sitting here and disassociating.
When he glances over, he’s a little surprised at first to see Naminé instead of Kairi. He figured she would come out here and try to bring him back inside, coaxing him carefully in the way that only the oldest of friends can. But seeing Naminé instead… brings him a blanket of relief he isn’t expecting. As if he can just let go of who he’s trying to be all the time and just be.
Naminé returns his gaze with a soft, sad smile. She hasn’t spoken yet because she doesn’t need to. The two of them have always known how to exist in each other’s quiet, no words necessary.
Eventually, Riku takes a slow and deep breath and only shudders a little.
“Sorry your first time on the beach wasn’t a better experience,” he says, low and quiet. And then mentally kicks himself for starting, as usual, with an apology.
Naminé shakes her head. “It was a wonderful experience,” she argues, “it was just missing someone.”
“Mm. Left early when everyone came out to see him and everything,” he says, dry. She offers a sympathetic smile in response.
“How are you doing?” she asks, after a pause to let the moment breathe. Riku doesn’t answer other than a halfhearted shrug. She chooses to let it lie.
Perhaps a change of subject is in order. And it’s something she’s been pondering over all day anyway—
“Is there… something you wanted to say to me? Earlier, on the ship?”
He frowns, trying to remember anything beyond the last couple hours. As it comes back, he feels almost foolish for having been focused on something that now seems so far away.
He hadn’t said it back then in the moment because there were other things to focus on. Because it was a conversation that needed space and the right amount of attention. Because he wanted to give it the attention it deserves.
“…Yeah, I guess so,” he finally says, noncommittal. Naminé just tilts her head a little and watches him patiently. When he can’t take the silence and staring anymore, he finally continues.
“It wasn’t the right time. And it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long time, so… I wanted to get it right.”
Another deep breath. Now’s as good a time as any.
“I wanted… to apologize to you,” he says, carefully. Naminé’s brows knit together as she watches him closely.
“Apologize? For what?”
She can’t come up with a thing that anyone should be apologizing to her for, let alone Riku. If anything, she should be thanking him, she thinks.
“Back then…” he begins, unfolding just a little, “That year when we worked together to fix Sora’s memories. I was so caught up in my own problems that everything else took a backseat.”
Naminé waits for him to untangle his thoughts and continue.
“I saw the way DiZ treated you. I should have stepped in, but I was so focused on the mission that I just kept moving.” He pauses, grimacing at the shame that comes up. “You deserved so much better than what you got. And I’m sorry I didn’t stand up for you when you needed it.”
She stares at him, eyes wide, unsure what to say. After blinking a few times, she finds her voice again.
“Riku… you were there when I needed you. You were my only friend that whole year. I didn’t feel quite as alone as before, because you were there.”
He presses his mouth into a thin line, still dissatisfied with himself.
“And then in the World That Never Was, when you opened a path for us to escape… I felt the same way. Like letting you give up your independence and go back to Kairi wasn’t right, somehow. Like I should have said something, or done… something, I don’t know.”
His expression is complicated and hard to read, as if even he isn’t sure what he’s feeling right now. Naminé waits to see if he’s finished. After some internal struggle, he shifts to look at her directly with full attention.
“I’m glad you’re finally getting the chance to live your own life, for you,” he adds. “You deserve all of it, and more.”
Her heart is still new, but Naminé is sure that this fluttering feeling is something Kairi’s felt before. Something she feels when she sees Sora.
“Riku…” she says, because she doesn’t know what else to say. Emotions are remarkably difficult to translate into words, it turns out. She compromises by reaching over and placing her hand atop his resting in the sand.
They stay like that for a while, looking at each other and taking in the details. There’s a sense of peace that settles over them both, the kind that comes from two hearts that understand each other in an almost intimate way. As they sit, Naminé realizes that for Riku to allow someone to touch him, for more than a moment, without pulling away… it’s a rare thing. And she feels something she hasn’t in a very long time.
The feeling of being important to someone else. Of being special and valued by someone. Of being the kind of person someone would give anything to protect.
Only this time, it isn’t because she’s changed memories to insert herself where she doesn’t belong. It isn’t because she’s made someone think that they have to keep her safe. It isn’t something she’s done at all- not by anything more than just being herself.
It brings a warmth to her chest that Naminé has never experienced before. But it’s a rich, full feeling. And it belongs to her.