Chapter Text
Once again, the knights of Favonius hosted a party after a successful expedition. There was alcohol everywhere except for your cup, simply because you had no interest in getting drunk out of your mind like the rest. That aaand the fact that your ex, Lohen, happened to be at that same gathering. You didn’t feel like being there for long in fear that he’d see you and attempt to have a conversation. After all, you were the one who broke it off, he wasn’t ready to let go yet. In your defence, you couldn’t handle his tendencies of randomly disappearing for days and only coming back when he was satisfied with the amount of prey he killed.
He would frequently come home heavily injured, to which he’d only wave you off when you expressed how reckless he was acting. You couldn’t stand how high your cortisol level would get, simply from being his partner! Rightfully so, you broke it off.
You shook your head, getting back to the present. You could hear Lohen’s annoying voice from a mile away, and you decided that was your cue to leave. Didn’t want to risk him getting too close… You said your goodbyes to your fellow knights, though they could barely acknowledge it from the amount of drinks they had consumed. You made your way to the exit quickly, happy that the night ended off on a good note. However, your heart dropped when a hand took your wrist and gently spun you back around.
You deadpanned once you saw Lohen, immediately noticing the flush in his cheeks — he rarely drank, but apparently tonight was an exception.
“Leaving so soon, darling?” he smirked, the hand on your wrist travelled to your palm as he brought your hand to his lips, pressing a light kiss to your knuckles.
“Correct, bye,” you stated, pulling your hand away and turning around as quickly as he came. You heard a whine of defeat before he appeared in front of you again. Your eye twitched in annoyance as he took your hands in his, gently cradling them in his own.
“I miss you, you know. It’s been really lonely without you..” he admitted, the alcohol clearly loosening his tongue. Not that you cared.
“Maybe you should’ve taken that into consideration before I broke up with you,” you retorted, giving him a sarcastic smile. In return he pouted, a disappointed expression on his face, but he grinned again just as quickly.
“You still care about me, don’t you? Aren’t you worried i’ll drink too much and get myself hurt again?”
“See how that’s not my problem anymore?” you huffed, grimacing at the thought of having to panic for him every time he decided to let a bunch of drunk people try shoot at the apple in his hand. It made you sick. It’s surprising how he still has all his limbs.
You saw him open his mouth, clearly about to say anything that could possibly get you to stay, but you freed your hand and put a finger to his lips.
“It’s over, Lohen. Don’t make this difficult.”
With that, you turned once more and speed walked home. That’s probably the quickest rejection you’ve given him so far. You mentally applauded yourself, already thinking of how wonderful it’s going to feel once you’re back in bed.
About five hours had passed since then and you were fast asleep. It didn’t matter though, because you were still woken up by the constant banging at your door. You groaned, ignoring it at first, but it was for some reason never ending. You grabbed the pocket knife on your bedside table, just in case, and made it toward the trembling wooden door. Cautiously you opened it, peeking out through the crack.
There, leaning against the wall covered in blood was Lohen. Despite telling yourself a million times he wasn’t your problem anymore, you still swung the door open. You eyed his body, seeing wounds in various places, some more critical than others.
“Don’t tell me you genuinely played that apple game with a bunch of drunk people!” you exclaimed in irritation, clenching your dagger.
Lohen gave a weak, delirious chuckle, his body going limp against the doorframe for support. His hair was plastered to his forehead, sweat glistening as the moon shone on his pale skin. Blood smeared against his collarbone and down his side which made him look quite scary.
“Drunk knights have terrible aim,” he attempted to giggle but a cough left his mouth instead, wincing as his hand went to a particularly nasty gash on his side. He took in your worried-upset expression, feeling somewhat satisfied. He stumbled again, knees buckling slightly, forcing you to catch him. His full weight was against you and you shivered at the contrast of his cold skin against yours. His arms rested around your back, almost like a hug.
“God, you’re warm,” he breathed, burying his face against the crook of your neck with a pathetic little whimper that betrayed how much pain he was actually in. “Save me? Please?”
He sounded so weak and fragile that it made your heart twist painfully, even as your brain screamed at you that this was exactly what you’d walked away from hours ago.
“I want to help you but you’ll only go back and do the same thing. Don’t you understand? I broke up this relationship because I hate seeing you hurt!” you hissed, instinctively pressing his body close to you.
“I’ll be good this time,” he promised, though his grin was still there, you felt it clearly against your throat. “I’ll be such a good boy for you… just let me in?”
Your cheeks flushed at his choice of wording, shutting the door with your foot and pulling him back off of you.
“You know the way to the bathroom.”
“You’re going to make me go all alone?”
You rolled your eyes, letting him lean on you for support as you lead him to the edge of the bathtub. He sat on it and then instantly looked back up at you, waiting for you to take the lead. With no time to lose, you grabbed all your supplies that would help clean up his wounds. It felt like it was coded into your system at that point. You heard the shuffle of clothing behind you, followed by a thump as he dropped it onto the floor. You turned to look at him again, seeing that he’s now shirtless. It was a necessary process, you reminded yourself, attempting to push down your attraction to him. Damn him for making you feel so many emotions in one night.
“You’re so fucking stupid, Lohen.”
“Ouch! So cold.”
He let out a laugh that turned into a wince once you pressed a cloth induced with whatever healing medicines you had. He bit his lip at the sting, leaning into your touch instead of pulling away. Even through the pain and the haze of alcohol, he couldn't help but track the way your lips moved as you cursed at him, the way your brow furrowed in that beautiful, frustrated way you always got when you cared too much.
“But you can’t truly ever get rid of me, can you?” he muttered, his hand going to cup your cheek, slightly smearing it with blood. “I can’t even bear to imagine you with someone who isn’t me. You’re my lover. My forever partner.”
“You are not someone I can spend the rest of my life with,” you stated, dabbing at the wound on his side. “You are reckless, always walking into danger, always causing problems for us, you act before you think—“
“But you still love me.”
Your hand stilled at his side, eyebrows furrowing as you stared up at him from your kneeling position. He showed you his charming grin, leaning closer toward you.
“That’s why you’re angry,” he teased softly. “If you stopped loving me, you wouldn’t care whether I lived or died.”
“That’s a stretch. A normal human being wouldn’t just ignore a dying man.”
“But i’m not just any dying man,” he snickered, taking your free hand so he could press light, slow kisses up your arm. You swallowed thickly once you felt the familiar butterflies get worked up in your stomach. Ignoring them, you pressed the cloth harder against his wound, a little revenge on your part. He sucked in a breath instantly, fingers tightening around your wrist as a strained sound left his throat. You slightly felt bad, contemplating if you were acting too harsh before your eyes lingered further down his torso. Any guilt you felt disappeared as soon as you laid eyes on the obvious bulge, which stood pretty close to your face.
“Don’t tell me you were acting like it hurt more than it actually did. I forgot you don’t know the difference between pain and pleasure,” you spat, though the sudden heat on your cheeks betrayed you.
“I never said I wasn’t enjoying it,” he replied lazily, watching you through half lidded eyes. You gave him a look of utter disbelief which made him only more pleased with himself. “You can’t blame me, darling. Your hands are all over me and I finally have your full attention. Hard not to enjoy this a little.”
“You’re sick in the head.”
Your glare sharpened as you pressed the cloth against his wound again, much harder this time. His head tilted forward with a low whine, his pale cheeks flushed pink—and now that you knew it wasn’t because he was completely wasted, you considered simply leaving him to help himself. As if sensing your thoughts, Lohen grabbed your wrist before you could pull away.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he murmured, pulling your hand against his chest. “You’re making me feel spoiled.”
“Any sympathy I might have felt for you before has completely vanished. You’re so lucky I let you in, Lohen.”
“Goodness me, i’m simply the luckiest man in all of Teyvat! To have you knelt between my knees and still touch me so carefully, even after dumping me…” he sighed, a satisfied grin on his face.
“Keep yapping and i’ll cut open a new wound myself.”
“You promise?”
“….”
He pouted at your lack of response, fingers sliding around your jaw, forcing you to keep looking at him. “I missed this.” His thumb pressed against your lower lip. “Your glare towards me has always been so sexy.”
You bit his thumb harshly, forcing him to pull away. He simply bit his lip at that, trying to calm down his growing smile.
“You still want me,” he whispered, as if he had discovered something new.
“That ego of yours is insane.”
You clicked your tongue and reached for another clean cloth, determined to ignore the smug look on his face. Unfortunately for you, Lohen seemed to thrive off your irritation.
“I missed this bathroom,” he wondered absentmindedly.
Your brows furrowed, “How come?”
“The last time you patched me up in here, you threatened to stab me with your sewing needle because I wouldn’t stop flirting with you.” A dreamy smile spread across his lips. “I think that’s when I realized I wanted to marry you.”
“…You are genuinely deranged.”
You almost forgot how close you’d come to marrying him. Before opening your eyes to all his red flags, you already had your dream life planned out with him. And once your other knight friends told you they heard rumours of Lohen asking around about how to ask the question, you wanted to faint from delight. Anyway, you broke it off two weeks before the wedding. Even now, you could still remember Lohen’s expression the day you confessed that the relationship wasn’t working. He was convinced someone spoke nonsense into your head, threatening to kill them so they couldn’t interfere with the most important person in his life. You couldn’t tell what was more horrifying, the genuine promise of taking someone’s life, or the look in his eyes once he realised the decision was yours and yours alone.
“Hold still!” you snapped, wrapping a bandage around him as professionally as you could.
“But my back hurts.”
“You’re covered in stab wounds. Everything should hurt.”
“Mhm, but this hurts the most,” he huffed dramatically, resting a hand over his chest.
You rolled your eyes at how cheesy it sounded, an unwanted smile finally appearing on your lips. Lohen’s eyes sparkled instantly, as if he struck gold.
“There it is,” he sighed happily. “I knew I could still make you smile.”
“Shut up.”
You refused to acknowledge how easy it felt talking to him, choosing to focus on the dried blood covering his skin. You barely got to wipe anything off when he began annoyingly poking your cheek.
“What now?” you urged, attempting to move away from his prodding.
“My neck hurts from looking down at you.”
“Sounds like a you problem.”
“And problems should be fixed!”
Without another word, he stood up, lifting you with him and guiding you to the spot he was just sitting in, pushing you down. You sat stiffly on the edge of the bathtub, unsure of his intentions. Lohen stepped between your legs and got on his knees. Basically trading positions. Your breath hitched as soon as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing his cheek against your stomach. You could see his back perfectly, which was adorned with many scars, some unserious ones from today, along with some deeper cuts from before you even started dating him.
You could feel his slow breathing through the thin fabric of your shirt, his fingers gently digging into your skin. Your heart picked up its pace instantly. The intimacy of it made heat crawl uncomfortably beneath your skin. You hated how familiar this felt.
Hated how natural it still was to have him wrapped around you like this. Your hand trembled slightly as it raised to gently rest on his head. He melted into your touch instantly, nuzzling his face further into you. The hand on your back slowly began to inch beneath your shirt. He tilted his head, pressing a lingering kiss against your stomach.
“Lohen,” you warned weakly.
“Yeah?” he replied innocently, although you could hear his smugness clearly. He kissed your stomach again, and again, and again—
Your foot shifted instinctively against the tiled floor, accidentally brushing against the growing hardness between his legs. Lohen’s entire body jolted, a sharp breath leaving him. He let out a groan against your stomach before tipping his head back just enough to look up at you, cheeks flushed pink and eyes hazy with arousal.
“It’s starting to hurt,” he complained blatantly. “I’ve been hard for so long.”
“Jeez— Seriously..?”
“It’s your fault!” he whined, sounding genuinely troubled by the situation. “I get to have you all to myself again, do you have any idea how long it’s been? I’m only human.”
You grasped his hair and shoved his face back into your stomach. You denied him from seeing your flustered expression, yet you were sure he could probably feel how fast your pulse was beating anyway. Lohen only laughed softly against you, too pleased with himself. Annoyed by the sound, you tightened your grip on his hair harshly. A strangled moan instantly left him.
“Ah— fuck,” he breathed, fingers digging harder into your waist before he slowly tilted his head up to look at you again. His cheeks were flushed even darker now, eyes half-lidded and completely consumed by lust. “You really know exactly what I like, huh?”
“Frickin’ masochist..”
“Mhm,” he admitted shamelessly, leaning further into your tight hold instead of away from it. “But unless you actually plan on going further…” His lips curled into a lazy grin. “I don’t recommend teasing me like this, darling.”
You clenched your teeth together, afraid of what you might agree to. Safe to say you were pretty much aroused too, but it’s been a while since you’ve done anything sexual, so it wasn’t actually strange to want to have sex with your ex, right? There was only so much teasing, touching, and tension a person could withstand before finally giving in.
Your hand slipped from his hair to his neck, absentmindedly applying pressure to his throat, forcing his head back. His lips parted immediately, not once did his gaze stray away from yours.
“Are you punishing me, my love?”
“Pfft— You wish.”
You removed your hand from him as if his skin were soaring, hot lava, sighing in annoyance.
“You’re frustrating me, Lo.”
His eyes widened slightly, blinking up at you in surprise. Unexpectedly he giggled, startling you at the sudden change, “I haven’t heard you say that in months. Are you finally going soft on me?”
“I think it’s time for you to go home. You seem healthy enough.”
He instantly shook his head in defiance, almost like a little kid.
“Unless there’s a kiss goodbye, I think i’m fine right here,” he expressed, changing the position so his arms wrapped around your neck and his head on your chest.
“I’m not your stuffed toy, Lohen! Get off!” you whined, face reddening at his clinginess.
“Kiss me.”
“No.”
“Kiss me, please?”
“No.”
“Please please please please please—"
“No no no no no—“
Lohen let out an exaggerated sigh into your skin, sending shivers down your spine. The two of you fell quiet after that, the silence only filled by his occasional grumbling and your quiet attempts to push him away without actually using enough force to make him move.
It was such a comical, familiar situation that you accidentally began to laugh. The moment Lohen felt your chest shake beneath him, he lifted his head slightly in surprise. For a second he simply stared at you, almost like he hadn’t heard that sound in forever. Then he started laughing too. Your combined laughter echoed throughout the bathroom, your hand finally resting on his cheek. He leaned into it instantly, grinning up at you. You had to admit, though he was definitely one of the most crazy people in Mondstadt, you fell in love with him regardless. He was fun, made you laugh, loyal, handsome and so on.
“What you thinking about, my lady?” he asked with a satisfied expression. Your thumb brushed over the mole under his eye, breathing out slowly.
“That we should finish patching you up and then maybe i’ll reward you.”
He perked up instantly, pulling you up with him. You stumbled into him as he suddenly shoved all your medical supplies back in your hands.
“Then let’s get to it!”
The rest of the process went surprisingly smoothly. Mostly because Lohen suddenly became very cooperative the second you mentioned a reward. By the time you finally finished wrapping the last bandage around his torso, exhaustion had clearly begun catching up to him. His head rested on your shoulder while you cleaned up the bloody tissues scattered across your floor.
“Darling, are you finished?” he sighed sleepily.
“I am. Put your shirt back on, i’ll lead you out.”
“Aw, so soon?”
“I hope your intentions weren’t to sleep over.”
He smiled at you sheepishly, “Guilty as charged.”
You scoffed, but instantly helped Lohen to his feet once he looked like a normal human being again. Except for the fact that his clothes were still stained with his blood.
“Mm, you’re really going to make me go out like this?” he tried, not wanting to get any closer to the exit of your home.
“It’s past midnight, literally nobody will notice.”
He moaned your name in protest once you both stood right beside the front door. You remained in front of him, both looking at each other. He was clearly expecting something. You knew exactly what it was. Honestly, you completely forgot how it felt to initiate a kiss. Your body felt hotter as you forced yourself closer to him. He couldn’t help but smile once you inched forward, clenching his fists in anticipation.
“Heh, why so nervous?” he said with a cheeky glint in his eye.
“I don’t know. For some reason, it feels like the first time again.”
“I see..”
He glanced over your features, the moon gently shining over them. You saw how his face stilled, unable to read him anymore.
“Are you okay?” you mumbled, hesitantly raising your hand to brush the hair from his vision. He gently caught your wrist before you could remove it, sighing tiredly.
“I want to start over. I’m sorry, my love, you’re right. I fucked everything up. I want this to feel as if it’s our first kiss again, I want to feel your skin against mine as I sleep, and I definitely want everyone to stop looking at you as if they have a chance, now that we’ve broken up. Call me obsessive, I don’t care, but I know you’re my sweetheart, there is nobody else in this world I love as much as you, and there’s nobody that could ever love you to the extent I can. I’d burn this place to the ground if it meant you’d be mine again. Please understand— I don’t know how to live my life, if you’re not by my side,” he pleaded, his voice slightly shaky.
You stared at him with wide eyes, completely speechless. Your heart was beating so fast from all the emotions filling your body.
Lohen looked just as overwhelmed by his own confession, like the words spilled out before he could stop them. His grip around your wrist loosened slightly afterward, thumb brushing softly against your skin while he searched your expression for any sign that he’d gone too far.
Unfortunately for you, hearing him say those things out loud only made the ache in your chest worse. Because despite how insane he sounded, threatening to burn Mondstadt down over you with the same sincerity people used when confessing love, you understood him. Somehow, horribly, you understood him.
“You’re crazy, you probably need therapy and absolutely need to take care of yourself more,” you began listing, yet still walking close enough that your chests began to brush against one another, arms slithering around his neck. A genuine smile graced his lips, his hands meeting your waist.
“Perhaps that’s accurate, yes.”
“But if you’re seriously willing to change to keep our relationship afloat, then I guess i’ll have to agree,” you smiled back, admiring him again after being unable to do so for such a long time. You felt his hands tighten around your waist, face coming incredibly close to yours.
“Please kiss me, I really can’t take this torture anymore.”
You bit your tongue, trying to hold back a giggle at how desperate he sounded. However, you also missed his lips on yours. Your fingers curled into his hair before finally closing the distance.
The second your lips touched his, Lohen let out a satisfied hum. He kissed you back with an embarrassing amount of desperation, pulling you flush against him like he couldn’t stand even the slightest bit of distance remaining between your bodies. You could taste the faint traces of alcohol on his lips, feel the way he smiled into the kiss when your hands instinctively tangled into his hair again.
“I missed you so much,” he murmured breathlessly between kisses, instantly delving in again. A quiet sound escaped you when he suddenly backed you against the door, the wood pressing lightly into your spine while his body crowded against yours.
“You have no idea how hard it’s been, seeing you everyday and being unable to touch you,” he kissed your lips once more before pressing gentle kisses down your jaw instead. Your fingers tightened in his hair at the feeling of his lips against your skin. He groaned softly at the tug, clearly enjoying it far more than he should have. Heat curled low in your stomach when his hands slowly slipped beneath your shirt once more, fingertips tracing against your skin. You bit your cheek once he began kissing your throat, gently biting down onto your flesh. You refused to let out any noises that would let him know just how good it made you feel. Of course, he noticed exactly what you were doing.
“Why so quiet, darling?” he teased, licking a stripe up your neck.
“Ah— Didn’t I tell you one kiss?” you huffed, cheeks completely flushed red. His wasn’t any different. A hand went into your hair as he curled it between his fingers.
“I was thinking you could let me stay the night, and we could have lots and lots of fun~”
“We just got back together!”
“Unfortunately,” he murmured against your throat, “I’ve been painfully aroused since the moment you opened the door for me. We can have a sexual celebration!”
“Never say that again and I might agree.”
He lifted his head to grin playfully at you, kissing your cheek, “May I lead you to your bedroom?”
You pretended to think, breaking the eye contact to look down at where you knew he needed help the most. Oh you were definitely going to punish him for all the shit he caused during and after the relationship.
“You may.”