Chapter Text
Did I have to do it?
Of course I did. Or else what have I done?
Nothing?
I should have done everything.
I should have saved you.
I should have been more careful.
I shouldn’t have gotten attached.
I shouldn’t have cared so much.
Maybe if I didn’t- it wouldn’t have hurt so bad.
Maybe this pain in my chest would just go away.
Maybe I would stop feeling guilty.
Maybe you’d be just another person to me.
Maybe you’d be just another assignment.
Maybe you’d be just another blurred face.
Maybe you’d just be another name.
Maybe you’d just be just another something.
Maybe I wouldn’t care at all.
But I did.
I shouldn't have done it.
I shouldn’t have.
Could I?
What was I supposed to do? Everything? Nothing? Something? What even is a thing at this point? What should I have done? Could I?
What do those words even matter?
What does my pain even matter?
What does this blood on my hands even matter?
What do these headaches even matter?
What does culpability even matter?
What do my tears even matter?
What does anything even matter?
When you’re not here?
When I still did it anyway.
Tuesday, October 8, 2019; 12:39 a.m, JST.
“Several dangerous cursed spirits have been reported in the surrounding area. The affected metropolitan area has been blocked off, and all residents have been evacuated until further notice.”
Exhaustion.
It’s the first thing that Megumi feels among the dull ache of his limbs, itching for the things his mind is too tired to register. He doesn’t have time to tally the pain that’s already building up in his scraped hands, raw and deprived of the only temporary familiarity of comfort. Nor his head, pounding with the aftermath of another injury. He can’t pay too much attention to his eye, swelling itself shut. His legs, running amok with agony or sweating under his torn uniform. And a back that he can’t even feel after being spiked through objects Megumi was too fast in flight to comprehend.
And all he has to show for it is a finger older than probably his damn family lineage- an object that brought him more trouble than could be fit in the rotten flesh. And now it was just going to go into Jujutsu High custody- and probably be taken by Itadori.
A smile plays on his lips.
That damn Itadori.
He and Kugisaki were probably asleep by now, huddled up in their dorms. In the morning- they’d be lively as ever in the morning. Probably thinking of new ways to get on Megumi’s nerves- somehow forget the topic being taught in class. Train like hell, and drag him along in whatever foolishness they decided to marr the day with.
Meanwhile- Megumi had been out fighting cursed spirits until the moon took its shift in the sky. At least it paints a way forward for him out of the dark woods- limping, and clutching the finger with the little strength still left in him. Exchanging it with the sight of his blood painting a trail of his previous footsteps. The image left behind the figure of his fatigue and irritation.
He’d honestly rather fall flat on his face and sleep with the squirrels- rather than have to keep walking back to Mr. Ijichi’s car at this hour.
In the morning, he’d be pissed as ever, run his shoes off to get back to Jujutsu High on time- and resume classes, albeit definitely late. Like nothing ever happened. But of course- he wouldn’t be able to do that. Gojo would let him have it. He’d get a thousand comments about how everyone was looking for him and bla bla bla, or why the soles of his feet were raw. He’d have to visit Shoko, all while Itadori and Kugisaki swarmed like flies, asking him what happened- why he didn’t make it back to his dorm- or why he looked more half dead than usual. He could imagine their faces now. Kugisaki scolding him, trying to look angry, shaking his rattled ribs out of place again. Then the flames in her gaze would quiet, and she’d frown. Commenting that she was glad that he was okay.
Meanwhile Itadori would look like some sad rabbit, clinging to Megumi. He would be happy he was alright, asking him what happened and what took him so long. Or his big brown eyes would be massive with worry, his face thick with panic that still hadn’t worn from his features. Asking Fushigoro why he had to run off and scare them like that, why he’d left them wondering if he was alive or not. It would have all been so strange, knowing that when he first saw Itadori again after that month- he’d pondered over the same thoughts.
Megumi might have been poker faced throughout the whole debacle- but inside he’d feel so bad he might as well have produced enough cursed energy to blow the roof off the building.
‘What the hell am I even thinking about.. Worrying about these two at this hour..’
He trudges forward, fighting back the pain threatening to overwhelm him. He had too much to work for. He could at least make it to the bridge before he passed out.
He didn’t really know when he did- until the familiar dark car came to view on the road side, Ijichi waiting on him, leaned back in his seat as if he was planning on taking a snooze.
Megumi knocks on the window.
Ijichi jumps so hard Megumi swears the whole car moved. Or maybe it was just his wobbling consciousness playing tricks on him. He rolls down the window, steadying himself as he addresses Megumi.
“Did you retrieve the finger, Fushigoro?”
“Yes sir. All of the cursed spirits in the area were dispatched, and I was able to retrieve the finger.”
“Good. Now hurry in so we can report back to Jujutsu High.”
~
Megumi’s alarm is the first thing he hears in the morning, jarring him out of the many voices of his dream. Itadori’s mutterings are the last things that remain on his sleeping mind, as whatever his brain concocted in his sleep flees from him. Sunlight filters through his dorm room window with a strange brightness- as if either wants to force his eyes shut again- or tell him that despite his prior worries, he still managed to oversleep. He might as well have been running out of his shoes.
He bolts awake despite his bodies’ protests. Even though he’d been treated by Shoko late the previous night, his limbs still ached as if he was being bowled through concrete again. He lets out a shaky suspire, trying to reinforce his faltering limbs that feel more as if they’d been cursed to the point of turning into pinballs. He leans against the dark walls, attempting to steady his quavering form.
He looks over, checking the clock. 7:03 a.m.
He taps his fingers on the walls, using each noise as a way to revitalize his brain of what he needs to go over today. It’s hard enough to engage- but he relents to his responsibilities. Pushing himself into the bathroom.
~
“Fushiguroooo!”
Itadori’s voice rings out among the secluded campus of Jujutsu High. Megumi hears him before he sees him- blonde hair, brown eyes wide as saucers, and red hoodie. He skips towards Fushiguro, smiling like an idiot, tailed by Nobara. They bound up to him, a bit of relief dawning on their faces.
“Where have you been, dude?” Itadori asks, running up to his side. “We’ve been looking for you all morning. But you weren’t up.. That mission must have been pretty hard to knock you out like that.”
“Yeah. It was.”
“Oh come on! Don’t short answer us like that!” Nobara exclaims, squeezing his left shoulder. “Tell us what happened! You never even wake up late- let alone be an hour late for class!”
“You guys are being too loud-”
“We’re being what now-?”
“We’re just checking up on you, bro.” Itadori grins. “Now come on, we have a lot to do today.” Itadori veins trudging ahead, Nobara at his side. Megumi sighs, running his hand through his hair.
‘These two.. I swear..’
He begins to follow behind them, keeping his pace lax. Itadori turns around, beaming, holding out his hand.
Megumi hesitates for a moment- but a smirk tugs at his lips, and he takes his hand.
~
The weather had begun to cool as the more gelid months of the year began to roll by- however- combat training still found a way to make Megumi feel like he was shot in the middle of the summer heat.
The first and second years were training, testing their endurance, strength, weaponry, and more. It had done more than it’s job- not only having exhausted them to their cores, but into lax conversation as they took breaks. Finding shaded areas to cool off in- before resurfacing to begin warming up for more work.
Megumi hadn’t even been up two seconds before his name was shouted across the field by an unfamiliar voice.
“Fushiguro Megumi!”
The whole group turns over, Megumi eyeing the man calling out to him, middle aged, wearing a dark suit, and sunglasses obscuring his face. A Jujutsu High official. Surrounding him are three other men dressed similarly, jotting down notes on clipboards with such vigor they’re through three pages before Megumi can blink again. They’re obviously important based upon the air surrounding them, thick and smashing down on the students with a judgment harsh enough to the point where a hundred pandas might as well be throwing all of them around.
‘These people were probably sent by the higher ups.’ Megumi takes in their forms. ‘But what does he want? I wonder if it has anything to do with last night’s mission.’
“That’s me,” Megumi approaches him, addressing him with a bow. “Yes, sir?”
The man doesn’t speak immediately- instead turning to observe his surroundings, and the students. They regard him, trying to understand why he’s here. When he spots Itadori, he features scrunch with such distaste he might as well have eaten one of Sukuna’s fingers himself. Megumi meets his gaze, narrowing his eyes.
“Is there a problem, sir?”
“Yes.” The man begins. “I am Goro Mayeda. An assistant in Jujutsu Affairs.” The man flashes a badge with his name and title. “But I’m not here to chat. I’ve been sent here because the higher ups have requested to see you, immediately.”
Megumi falters. So the higher ups did want to see him, but what for? And why in hell did it have to be now?
“Wait. Right now? Why now- and why so last minute-”
“It’s urgent. Come right away as we are. We’ll have you transported to see them. Come along now. We have work to do.”
“Ah- yes.. Sir.”
‘What the hell?’
Megumi turns around, wondering if his classmates are as confused as he is. He doesn’t even know why he took to questioning it in the first place- for he was not shocked to see the strange expressions they bear.
“Fushiguro!”
Megumi jumps, speeding to catch the man. Should he even be going with them? Why did they call him out specifically? Sweat dots his heated brow, nerves creeping up in his throat and swirling in his head like an ugly amalgamation. His classmates muttering behind him.
“What is he calling him for?” “What do they want with him?” “Is he in trouble?” “Mustard leaf.”
“Fushiguro!” Itadori calls. He pivots his head, their eyes locking. “What’s going on over there! Is everything okay?” He calls.
“Yeah, the Higher Ups have requested to see me right now- so. I guess I’ll be on my way.”
“But why would the Higher Ups wanna see you of all people? And why so urgently?” Maki speaks up, raising an eyebrow. Megumi shakes his head. His vision finds the man, simply staring.
“Not sure, but it’s urgent. I’ll get back to you guys.” Megumi breathes, turning around. “See you guys later.”
“Later!” The group calls. Concern etched in their goodbye.
Megumi sighs, before following the men off campus.
~
The noise of the heavy doors slamming behind Megui might as well be the questions in his head beating at the forefront of his mind. He fights to quiet his racing mind, already having pushed his anxious heart down into his ribs.
He’d come to this place alone- as the man had asked, and now, he was sitting in a room with his favorite people.
The Jujutsu High higher ups.
Among them were Principal Gakuganji, the head of their sister school, Kyoto Jujutsu High. Among the room were several other people Megumi had seldom- if not never seen at all, scrutinizing him with the vigor of a thousand suns. And the hatred spewing out a special grade cursed spirit. The dim, amber lighting in the room- created by shortening candles stacked in corners does nothing more than cast ominous shadows over old faces, crinkled with age, repugnance, and the familiar arcs of authority hanging on their expressions. The strange, cold air jumping over his shoulders serves a chilling factor as he bows, addressing the men and women, before one of them begins to speak.
“Fushiguro Megumi. 1st year at Tokyo Jujutsu High. Thank you for coming.” A man begins. “I am Yoshio Kodama. The jujutsu officials behind me- and myself, have invited you here to speak with you about an extremely important matter. Please, have a seat.”
Megumi obliges, propping himself in the sole wooden chair before the men and women. He tenses, keeping his eyes locked on the higher ups.
“As you are aware- Ryomen Sukuna- has been revived, and is currently residing within the vessel known as Itadori Yuuji.” Yoshio spits. Itadori’s name as if it was a poison- eager to get it out of his mouth. “This.. Thing.. Was enrolled at Jujutsu High via Gojo Saturo. Where he was grouped with the students of this school- and the first years. You- Fushiguro Megumi- and Kugisaki Nobara.”
“We are aware that you were, acquaintances. With the Vessel of Sukuna. Which is highly unacceptable.”
Megumi clenches his jaw, defense of Itadori bubbling up in his throat. They were sitting here talking about Itadori like he was some nobody.. Like he was nothing but a curse.. Even if he was the vessel of Sukuna- it’s enough to piss Megumi off.
“Sukuna poses a great danger to society- both incarnated- and in the twenty pieces he was split in as a cursed object. If he were to fully incarnate- he would reign terror upon the entire continent of Japan, and we’d be powerless to do anything.”
‘I know that much.. So why the hell did they call me here anyway? To lecture me about being close to Itadori.. Or..’
“Sir,” Megumi begins, “I am aware of the danger that Yuuji Itadori- and Sukuna pose to society. Though, I’m confused. Why was I called here?”
“If you’d allow me to speak. Then you would know, Fushiguro.”
Megumi narrows his eyes.
“As you know, we’ve been alerted that Yuuji Itadori is alive, despite our orders that he was to be executed. We are aware that Saturo Gojo most likely had something to do with this- and most likely you, as per your involvement with him. Whether or not you may have done anything suspicious is anyone’s guess. And we still need the Vessel of Sukuna to perish.”
“Fushigoro Megumi.”
“To ensure the safety of Jujutsu High, your classmates, your life, and Japanese civilization as we know it, and to prove your loyalty to Jujutsu High and the world of Jujustu.”
“We want you to kill Itadori Yuuji.”