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Sam and Dean kept watch, as best they could in the dark of night near the Delaware River Trail, leaning against Baby's hood. The tiny swath of green way by the river would have to suffice for what needed to get done before sunrise.
Huffing and hushed conversation emerged from behind a copse of trees. A flashlight strobe broke through and swept along the trunks.
"We should do it ourselves, Sam," Dean grunted.
"They wanted to help. It's not a bad idea for them to get some experience with this side of things."
Dean sighed. "If they really wanted to help, they could wash all this crap off my car."
~~~~~
48 HOURS EARLIER
"So, because I happen to look like some of these dudes, I drew the short straw?" Dean asked.
"More like the booty shorts," Kasey snickered as they knitted, attention bouncing from the motel television, their stitch count, and the conversation.
Sam and Dean shared a wary glance in each other's direction. "Come again?" Sam leaned forward on the too-small, too-low-to-the-ground chair, limbs folding into a contortionist pose.
"Kasey," Sandra mumbled.
"There's no way to ease 'im into it," Kasey shrugged, their Yorkshire accent making a pronounced appearance.
Dean sat on the side of the bed Kasey lounged on, snatched the television remote atop the bedspread, and channel surfed.
Kasey put down their knitting and blinked in disbelief. "I was watching that."
Dean nodded. "Which is why you're fucking up that blanket." He smiled and stopped at a game on the screen. "You'll thank me later."
Kasey mumbled something about entitlement and resumed knitting.
Sandra sighed. "We're really grateful you guys were in driving distance of Philly. When these attacks made the local news at the start of the month, we had a feeling it wasn't human..."
"And since we stick to reconnaissance, we asked Bobby to do his hunter network thing." Kasey finished.
"You think it's a vampire?" Sam asked.
"Maybe more than one. All the interviews we've done point to vampire." Sandra read aloud from her notes. "About six men were attacked and drained of enough blood that they went into shock and passed out. Two victims died, wrinkled up like prunes. They had neat and tidy puncture holes to the throat with no signs of struggle. Autopsies said death occurred post-coital." Sandra pursed her lips and glanced at Dean.
"That means after sex," Dean announced with a mouth full of chips, also grabbed from Kasey's snack bowl atop the bed. He smirked.
Kasey rolled their eyes. "And they say Sam is the smart one."
"You need Dean to lure this thing out," Sam stated.
Sandra nodded.
Sam scratched at the back of his neck. "Well, it wouldn't be the first time he's been bait for a vampire."
Dean's smile fell. He took a second, lifted a shoulder in agreement, and then went back to the baseball game, announcing with confidence, "I will survive."
"At first I was alone, I was petrified," Kasey crooned.
Dean's shoulders slumped in defeat at the distraction of the announcer's commentary. "Seriously, what is up with them today? Can a guy watch some baseball?"
Sandra rose from her chair and stood in front of the television.
Dean sighed. "Guess not." He readied a volley at Sandra but then noted the worried look on her face. "Hey, we do this stuff all the time. I'll be fine."
Sandra wavered, shifting her weight side to side. "It's not just that you resemble these guys. It's a bigger ask than that."
Dean's brow furrowed. "Okay. What's the ask?"
"These guys were all at celebrations when we think the vampire glamoured them. And, they were all wearing the same thing."
"I've had to wear my share of penguin suits."
"These weren't black-tie affairs," Sandra clarified.
"Dean." Sam's low voice drew all three of their attentions. Sam had commandeered Sandra's laptop. "What month is it?"
"June."
"What kind of celebrations happen in June, Sherlock?" Kasey bumped Dean with their shin to get his attention. When he looked over at them, they pointed to their rainbow tank top.
"Pride month." Dean shot them a smile. "You're here. You're queer. We're used to it." It took him another handful of seconds as Sam, Kasey, and Sandra nodded at him with hopeful connect-the-dot expressions. "Okay. Gay vampire. Gay dudes. It's fine."
"I think for this one," Sandra began, "you're going to have to up your A game. It seems to be drawn to very, um, colorful and attention-seeking individuals."
That drew a long pause. Sam rotated the laptop screen for Dean to view.
His jaw dropped. "You're shittin' me."
~~~~~
In the motel parking lot, Sandra and Kasey split the painting duty into sections. An afternoon trip to the arts-and-crafts store and a costume shop procured everything needed. Dean groaned at the tempura paints, brushes, and other supplies when they showed off the shopping haul.
Sandra and Kasey's hands ended up covered in rainbow colors as much as the shiny black canvas.
"Better hope this plan works, or you're never seeing Dean again. We'll never live this down if we're wrong, and he'll be too embarrassed to be in our presence." Kasey shook their head.
"Don't be so dramatic. And why would I care if I see Dean again?" Sandra leaned back to make sure she'd painted her line straight.
"It's okay to have terrible taste in men."
Sandra rolled her eyes. "He's not that bad."
"He's a flashing billboard of terrible decisions."
"It's not like he's interested. Relax. And also, maybe stop staring at Sam so much."
"How can I not? He's everywhere I look. He's huge. Have you seen his hands, Sandra? His hands?"
"We just have to get through tomorrow afternoon and hope we get the thing that's doing this and none of us get hurt in the process. Let's focus on that."
The motel door opened and Sam strolled out. He stopped behind Sandra and Kasey as they put the final touches on their handiwork. "We're sure this is gonna come off?" he asked.
"Yes, we tested it. Some water and a little elbow grease and it's a distant memory. We got both sides done. It should hold up through tomorrow, as long as there's no rain." Sandra stood up. "I'll pay for the car wash."
Kasey beamed, joining the two to admire the finished product. "I think it's an upgrade myself. We did a great job, didn't we, Sam? I require validation."
Sam chuckled and wrapped an arm around Kasey in a side hug. "It's fantastic."
Kasey blushed.
Sandra glanced at the motel room window. Dean peeked his head through the mint green curtains. He looked like he might cry.
Sandra's stomach dropped. "Should I go and calm his nerves?"
"You can give it a try. Don't know how much luck you'll have. He and this car have a, ah, a special relationship." Sam stuffed hands in his jean pockets and shrugged. "I'm gonna head down the street and grab dinner for us."
Kasey wiped as much paint as they could off their hands with an old towel. "I'll join you."
Sandra frowned. "Aren't you going to go in and wash up?"
"I'm not going back in there without Sam. You should come with."
Another look at the window, and Dean was gone. "No, I should check on him."
"Come on, Kasey. Burger and pie'll help," Sam suggested.
Kasey put a hand on Sandra's shoulder. "Be careful."
Sandra shooed them off, smiling at how the two bantered and wondering if the topic of serial killers would come up again. She wrangled up the paint bottles and brushes and did a perimeter sweep of the car.
The loud click of the motel door got her attention. She gulped and halted by the front passenger door. Dean stepped over to his pride and joy, ran a hand along the roof, and stopped at the driver's side. A blank, indecipherable expression covered his face.
Sandra blurted, "It'll come off, Dean. I made sure it'll come off."
Dean lifted his gaze and offered her a soft smile. "She doesn't look half bad. But, you can't really improve on perfection, you know?"
"You okay with all this, then?"
He huffed. "Not by a long shot. But Sam and I looked over the notes and research. Definitely sounds like a vamp, a pretty powerful and ballsy one if it's solo, and hunting during the day with an audience."
"Well, it's in for a rude awakening when it meets you." Sandra smiled.
"Let's hope so." He laced his fingers together and leaned his forearms atop the car roof. "How much of a show do I have to put on?"
"If you want to get its attention at the Pride parade tomorrow? A massively big one."
Dean blew air out of his mouth, flapping his lips.
"You can handle it. You put on a show and pretend to be someone you're not lots of times. This is the same thing."
"With a lot less layers."
Sandra thought for a moment. "Well, maybe just show up to party with the other people brave enough to show up as their true selves. I mean, it takes a lot of courage to drop armor that you think is protecting you when it's really only weighing you down."
He tapped the pads of his thumbs together. "So, show up, like, for Kasey?"
Sandra smiled. "Like for Kasey. But don't tell them that. They will vehemently deny they need anyone to show up for them."
"I wouldn't dare. I might get panned in the face."
Sandra giggled.
~~~~~
The next day, the foursome put on a grand show for all to see. Baby sported matching Pride flags on the driver and passenger side doors and got accepted into the parade route.
Sandra was given the honor of driving, and she only agreed because she couldn't go any faster than 10 miles per hour. Kasey rode shotgun and got to pick the music.
And Dean put on a grand show. Decked in booty denim shorts, displaying a fine set of bow legs and an even finer ass. Kept his boots. But he donned a long rainbow wig and wrapped a Pride flag around him like a superhero cape. There weren't any layers under it. Just a bare chest with only an amulet around his neck. Perky nipples, though.
Dean rode down the parade on Baby's hood, sitting on his haunches, matching the crowd's joy and energy.
He would have stolen the show all by himself, but Sam surprised everyone before they'd left the motel room. He emerged from the bathroom in shorts and a white tank top, and the cutest pair of fairy wings. He rode down the parade on Baby's roof. Kept his boots, too.
A parade watcher took a Polaroid of them and handed it to Sandra, so the day would be forever memorialized. After the parade, Dean wrote "Priding in the Impala" on the photo.
And, yeah, Dean got the attention of that vamp, and it indeed received the rudest of awakenings.
~~~~~
"Is that enough gasoline?"
"Don't worry about what I'm doing. Go heavy on the salt. It's not like it's gotta worry about its sodium intake at this point."
"Fine."
"Okay, light it up!"
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
"Hell, yes! Aren't you?"
"Maybe a little."
Sam and Dean grinned, listening to Sandra and Kasey bicker as they disposed of the vampire's body, with its detached head, courtesy of Dean's machete.
"They're pretty entertaining," Sam mused.
"They're a goddamn delight," Dean corrected.