Chapter Text
Daniel had been a registered nurse for ten years.
The first five were in high-acuity oncology care, and now he worked inpatient hospice. Daniel did not see the pull of ICU nursing. He felt that each person in his cohort ended up there. Whenever Daniel did rotations in the ICU, it just felt as if he could never make connections. His patients were usually sedated or vented. Daniel wanted to talk to his patients, learn about their children, what they loved... and that was a rare gift in the ICU. On the flip side, oncology and hospice were not areas of nursing that folks were lining up to work in, yet Daniel had never felt so drawn to an other specialty. He was able to ensure patients were comfortable, received excellent end-of-life care, and died peacefully. Nobody deserved to die in a horrid way. He enjoyed educating patients and their loved ones about end-of-life care, a topic that was taboo for most, yet when explained clearly, seeing them begin to understand was refreshing.
At thirty-two, Daniel lived alone in a small apartment only ten minutes from the hospital. The town was on the smaller side, but bigger cities were easily accessible for more specific needs. He enjoyed being alone. He’d had a few girlfriends over the years, but nothing ever stuck; he never really felt connected to them, so the sparks would fizzle quickly. His parents lived hours away and they really did not speak much. It was better that way. No siblings. Daniel did have a friend, Alice, who he attempted to have a romantic relationship with, but they realized they were better off friends.
Heading into his shift, Daniel settled into his usual Monday-to-Friday, 8:00 AM to 4:30 PM routine. No weekends, no on-call. The hospital was well-staffed enough for that not to be a requirement, which was a massive upgrade from random 12 hour shifts. Still, he felt a prickle of nerves knowing a new doctor was starting today. One of his closest physician colleagues Dr. J had just retired, and adjusting to a new person, especially a doctor, was always a gamble.
When you work closely with providers, you have to learn their specific care outlines. Certain doctors preferred Dexamethasone over Prednisone, or Morphine ER over Methadone. Once you learned their pathways, you could anticipate their orders and begin planning care quickly. Learning those quirks was time-consuming, and frankly, some doctors just didn’t care for nurses. That wasn’t the case for the current team, so he hoped this new, young doctor would fit in and be easy to work with.
The inpatient hospice floor was on the smaller side, allowing for more one-on-one care. Daniel had three patients today, all of whom had been on the unit between three and six months, so he had grown fairly close to them. His first was an 82-year-old male with a primary diagnosis of malignant lung cancer that had metastasized to the liver. His second was a 90-year-old female with end-stage Alzheimer's, and his final patient was a 60-year-old male with glioblastoma.
For the past few days, these patients had been entirely stable. Yet, when he received the morning report from the night shift, he learned his 60-year-old glioblastoma patient was experiencing increased hallucinations and agitation.
When Daniel walked into the room to introduce himself for the day, the patient, Mr. Miles, stared him down. "Oh, so they sent a man in here. Isn't nursing a woman's job?"
Yeah, Daniel thought, this definitely isn't Mr. Miles. This is the cancer talking.
"Well, good morning to you too, Mr. Miles," Daniel said evenly. "Are you having any pain today?"
"My head actually has been hurting more, but none of you assholes know what you are doing, so i guess I'm gonna fucking suffer."
"Not on my watch," Daniel answered. "I'll go check with the doctor now."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah."
Daniel rounded back to the nurses' station, and the moment he turned the corner, the breath was clean taken from his lungs.
There stood a tall man with dark skin, likely of Indian descent, with ear-length, spiraled curly black hair and a pair of glasses pushed back into the curls. His face looked as if God himself had spent extra time chiseling it. Even under the scrubs and white lab coat, it was obvious he was extremely fit. At that exact moment, the stranger turned his head, and Daniel found himself entirely unable to breathe or speak.
The man's eyes were hazel, but they held a striking, luminous hue of yellow and orange blended together.
This was, without question, the most beautiful man Daniel had ever laid eyes on. Daniel knew he liked men, but he didn't date men. So why did he suddenly want to scoop this stranger into his arms and kiss him until they were both dizzy?
"Daniel?"
Daniel was pulled sharply from his trance. His unit manager, Stephanie, was standing right in front of him.
"Oh! sorry, Steph. I totally spaced out."
"No worries, Danny! I'm glad you're up here so I can introduce you to the new provider."
The mystery man was looking at Daniel again.
"This is Dr. Armand Solderini."
Daniel extended his hand. "Hello. Nice to meet you, Dr. Solderini."
Dr. Solderini gripped Daniel's hand in return. "Please, call me Armand."
Oh his voice....
"Of course. I'm Daniel. Some folks call me Danny, either is fine."
"It's nice to meet you, Daniel…"
"Molloy. Daniel Molloy."
Armand smiled. Daniel didn't want to let go of his hand, but Armand eventually pulled back, breaking the contact.
"It's interesting to see you in scrubs," Daniel noted. "Most doctors are in professional dress."
"I prefer to dress in a less intimidating way," Armand replied, his voice smooth. "Scrubs make me appear more human, versus the robotic impression some providers give off."
"I like it."
"Well, thank you, Daniel." Armand smiled.
Hearing his name roll off Armand's tongue sent a quiet thrill through him; he wanted Armand to just keep saying it.
"Well, have a great day, guys!" Steph chimed in, breaking the spell. "Danny, call me if you need me."
Daniel had totally forgotten Steph was even there. For a moment, it felt as if he and Armand were trapped in their own bubble.
"Armand, I actually came up here looking for the provider to discuss some new symptoms that a patient is having" Daniel said, transitioning back into professional mode.
"Sure, of course. How can I help?"
Daniel provided a concise SBAR report, explaining that the patient was currently taking Morphine ER 15mg twice a day and Dexamethasone 2mg daily. That was it; because the disease had progressed so significantly, any other maintenance medications were unnecessary.
"When did his agitation start again?" Armand asked.
"Per the night shift nurse, it started when she came on last night. Just now, he told me he was in pain, called me an asshole, and said we were going to make him suffer."
Armand nodded thoughtfully. "It appears the cancer could be invading the areas where his mood is regulated. He will likely decline quickly if he is already this elevated and hallucinating. I will add orders for Olanzapine 5mg BID scheduled, with Haldol 2mg every four hours as needed for breakthrough agitation. Also, we should add Oxycodone 5mg every four hours as needed. I am not a fan of patients lacking a PRN when they are on an extended-release medication."
Damn, Daniel thought, I like this guy already. "Yeah, boss, of course."
Armand’s head tilted slightly at the nickname.
"Shoot, sorry," Daniel corrected quickly, feeling a flush of heat. "I didn't mean for that to come off as condescending."
"No worries, Daniel," Armand said, a slow, genuine smile spreading across his face. "I liked it."
Armand turned back to the computer and did a little more typing. "Okay, all ordered. Please just write a nursing note about this conversation and the orders placed, and I will do the same on my end. Go ahead and give him the Olanzapine and Oxycodone now."
"Yes, sir. Thank you again."
"Of course, Daniel. Please come find me if you need anything else."
Daniel administered the medications to Mr. Miles, and within a few hours, the patient's sour mood and distress definitely improved. For the rest of his shift, all three of his patients remained stable, meaning Daniel had no clinical reason to go looking for Armand. He felt a fleeting, guilty pang wishing that something would go wrong just so he'd need new orders, but he crushed that thought immediately.
Later that afternoon, as Daniel walked out to his car, his mind was spinning with questions.
Who exactly was Armand? And why did it feel like he was going to be around for a very long time?