Work Text:
Exhaustion was all Sangwon could feel. He was so grateful that the radio show was finally over, even though seeing his fans always made his chest feel warm. That day he was truly so exhausted that he simply couldn't think properly.
Even so, when they finally got into the van, his whole body collapsed into the seat as if he had no bones and was simply an inanimate being. Beside him, a small laugh sounded, subtle and soft, but one he would always adore.
"Are you really that tired?" his boyfriend asked when he finally sat down next to him, gently stroking his wrist. "Well, I don't need you to confirm it, you look exhausted and you went a little crazy in there."
Sangwon slowly straightened himself in his seat, all just to be closer to Anxin. He didn't like this shoulder-to-shoulder distance; besides, all of his exhaustion disappeared when he was with Anxin. Or did it double?
Maybe it doubled, because he felt his whole body so relaxed that he only wanted to merge with his warmth forever.
So he began his attack softly while Anxin responded to the things the other boys were saying. He started by burying his face in Anxin's neck, so deeply that he finally managed to delight his sense of smell with his boyfriend's perfume. He felt Anxin tense up for a second, until his warm hand finally settled on his waist, as always.
That was an invitation, a shameless invitation for him not to stop. It was Anxin telling him to do whatever he needed. Oh God.
"You smell good," Sangwon murmured against his neck, lightly brushing Anxin's skin with his own lips. Just brushing them there, without stopping to kiss him.
"Yeah? Is that why you kissed me live on air?" Anxin joked, finally ignoring what the others were saying. His hand settled in Sangwon's hair and slowly stroked it, as if he were a glass doll that would break at any second. "It was really hard not to kiss you, Sangwonnie."
"For the sake of our careers, you shouldn't be thinking about kissing me," Sangwon joked, slowly draping his leg over Anxin's. At any moment he would be sitting in his lap.
And Anxin's hand moved down. Sangwon felt it like a drug. Anxin's hand traveled from his waist to his hips, holding him firmly in his lap, and Sangwon let out a soft, satisfied moan.
Even though Anxin was known as the group's cat, Sangwon truly felt like he could've purred at that moment. Now he wasn't only dizzy from exhaustion, he was dizzy from addiction.
The way Anxin touched him, the way he whispered things in his ear, and even the way he caressed him so fervently—that was the addiction that made him dizzy and made him want to act even clingier.
Wasn't he already being too clingy?
"Sanghyeon was sending you hearts, I didn't like that," Sangwon complained at last. "Hug me."
And he didn't have to ask twice.
In a second, Sangwon was already pressed tightly against Anxin's body, and once again he let out a satisfied sound. He was being shameless; he didn't really care that his members were sitting in the same van. They were probably all asleep.
And he could sleep in Anxin's arms.
"He was teasing us, like he always does," Anxin said while kissing his temple. "You're so jealous."
"You like that about me," Sangwon replied accusingly, so much so that Anxin laughed and kissed his hair.
"Yeah, I love it. I love you, Sangwonnie."
God.
Sangwon couldn't remember what his life had been like before falling in love with Anxin, nor did he want to remember it.
While they were recording the radio show, he couldn't help looking at him more than he should have. Anxin was so beautiful, completely perfect and handsome. The kind of boy anyone would want to bring home to meet their parents (he himself wants to do it, but they haven't had the chance).
Sometimes while watching him, he wonders how they ended up here. How this boy he once considered a rival ended up becoming the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with. God, he's the boy who made him feel like he was writing his own romance novel.
"I love you too," Sangwon murmured sleepily.
He's not someone who can sleep in vehicles, or even outside his own room. But he's surrounded by Anxin's arms, so basically, Sangwon is home.
And Anxin didn't push him away, even when his legs started to fall asleep, not even when they were about to reach the dorm. He just let him be, because his love had been running from one place to another during these promotions, because of course, he was one of the members with the busiest schedules.
In the middle of his nap, Sangwon slowly adjusted himself in his seat as they neared the end of the ride, though he kept his leg draped over Anxin's and his nose buried in his neck. Definitely an uncomfortable position.
When the car finally stopped, Anxin woke him gently. Soft words and gentle massages on his cheeks.
"A little longer," Sangwon murmured.
"Wake up!" Junseo shouted while clapping to wake all the members. "Lee Sangwon!"
"I'm sleeping in your room, and you still don't want to get up?" Anxin teased Sangwon while gently squeezing one of his cheeks. "Stop throwing a tantrum, hyung."
That seemed to wake him up a little, because Sangwon blinked several times, as if checking that it wasn't a dream.
"You're really sleeping with me tonight?" he asked quietly.
"Yeah. Up, Sangwonnie."
Sangwon only shifted lazily, but he looked so cute that Anxin snorted a laugh; wrapping an arm around Sangwon's waist, he helped him up, giving his skin a gentle squeeze.
"Come on, baby."
Sangwon grumbled something unintelligible, but he ended up getting up. As soon as he put a foot outside the van, he felt the exhaustion crash down on him again, so he leaned on Anxin the entire way.
None of his members said anything. Everyone was used to this. The two of them were still in their honeymoon phase, so there was nothing anyone could say to embarrass them.
And the plan was to have dinner before locking themselves in their rooms, but the moment they stepped onto the first floor, Sangwon grabbed Anxin's wrist and pulled him through the hallways. For a second Anxin stumbled, but he quickly recovered.
"Do you want to sleep already?" Anxin asked when he was finally pushed into the single room.
"Yeah, let's sleep."
Sangwon didn't say anything else, but he started taking off his clothes one by one while reaching for his pajama shirt. He held one of his own shirts out to Anxin and quickly climbed under the blankets.
The difference was enormous. This felt so much better than sleeping in the van, but when the space beside him on the mattress dipped, everything became even better. Anxin wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him against his body.
"I still think we should eat something. You shouldn't ignore that," Anxin scolded him, softly kissing his neck and tracing the moles on his cheek with parted lips.
"Mmm." Sangwon only made the sound, closing his eyes. "We're on a diet... Ouch! Ouch!"
His movements changed abruptly when his boyfriend started pinching different parts of his body as punishment. The perfect spooning position they had formed completely fell apart, and Anxin laughed while Sangwon squirmed, utterly defenseless.
"One nap and then we'll get up for dinner!"
"I don't believe you, you'll keep sleeping until tomorrow without eating."
"I swear!"
They rolled around, completely ruining the bed, but at one point Sangwon managed to gain control of the situation, sitting down in Anxin's lap.
"Time out!"
Anxin's smile didn't disappear. Neither did Sangwon's. God, they were so in love.
"You haven't kissed me today," Sangwon reminded his boyfriend. "Don't you love me anymore?"
"Don't be ridiculous." Anxin rolled his eyes. His smile revealed his perfect dimple. "Give me a kiss."
And Sangwon lunged.
He leaned down and pressed their mouths together lazily because he had wanted a kiss so badly while watching him be so damn attractive during the radio show. And because he always wanted a kiss from Anxin; he couldn't lie.
The kiss wasn't driven by desire, but rather by the need to feel each other. That need that had been prickling in their chests every second since the first day and kept them from staying off each other's radar. The need that led Sangwon, someone who usually didn't seek much physical contact, to long to touch Anxin every second.
They kissed softly, their tongues brushing on several occasions, but there was nothing more, only kisses and the sound of soft smacks filling the space around them.
"I love you," Sangwon repeated when they pulled apart for a second.
How embarrassing.
Love is so embarrassing, but so beautiful.
Sangwon lay down beside Anxin, arranging the blankets between them again and draping his leg over Anxin's. If he kept looking at him, then he wouldn't be able to stop himself from kissing him again.
Unfortunately, Lee Sangwon had an addiction. Worse than drugs, worse than alcohol, and much worse than cigarettes. His addiction was Zhou Anxin.
He buried his face in his boyfriend's shoulder and hugged him tightly as he slept.
Anxin is his. Only his.