Work Text:
It's normal to wait. It's normal to want more than you can have. It's normal to be tense… I've never waited for something so long before. I can no longer remember how long it's been. Six years? Thirty years? It's been a long time since I've been here. With the sun on my face. The air smells like it should carry something. The scent of flowers. It should smell like roses, if the bushes at my feet are anything to go by, but it doesn't. And I cannot recall what roses smell like anymore. All I know is metal and ash. Something is clearly missing. It's not just the roses in the early summer season.
I sit beside moss, velvety under my hands. The cool shaded air dances over my bare arms like a spell, and I regret leaving my coveralls someplace else. Someplace unreachable. I'm waiting for many things. Something tells me I won't be getting any of them anytime soon. But if I do, I know it won't be in the form of good news.
Sending an unwelcome shiver down my spine, my comlink buzzes against my knee. "Nothing on my end either" says my partner. I don't have the words to give a calm, mature response. She probably knows right now that it's not something I can provide. But I still stay silent. I’ve waited twenty years… I’m not that old.
My lekku bumps against my collarbone along with a sudden gust of wind. It sounds like tumbling rocks. It sounds like the rasp of someone's throat. It sounds like something I can't name. It's heavy and grainy. I double over with the sudden fear crushing me, pulsating in my chest as if it's the only thing keeping me alive. A part of me thinks that when I look up, you will still be there. Handing me something. Something I promised too many people I would never fear. But I still do. And I'm still waiting for it.