Chapter Text
Following Dandy's fall from grace after his involvement with the ichor operation was unveiled, Astro is distraught. He thinks back to simpler times, memories of the show eroded by now, but the knowledge is inescapable.
Astro wants to go back. He wants to stargaze with his friends, wants to hang out all together, wants the worst of anyone's nightmares to be about petty fights or misunderstandings instead of death and despair. He wants his best friend to look him in the eye again instead of putting up walls to hide behind.
All it would take is an apology. If Dandy explained themself properly... Astro would understand. He'd do his best to forgive, he wants to move on from this grim air of betrayal between them and keep everything as it was. But maybe the part he can't forgive is Dandy's refusal to reconnect.
If Astro is feeling hollow, then surely Dandy feels that too, right? They've been best friends for so long... Can Dandy really abandon their bond just like that? How does he ignore the Astro-shaped hole in his life? Or is Astro the only one finding himself lacking?
He's never felt this before. He's been cooped up in his room for days now, not feeling up to dealing with the rising animosity the other toons are garnering at Dandy. Astro doesn't want to hear them tear him down, no matter how warranted it might be. He knows there's no defense he can conjure when all his ammunition is blind faith. He feels beaten down at all angles.
He'd do anything to support his friends, but what happens when he's stabbed in the back instead? How can he still hope Dandy will turn around and tell him this disaster is not his fault, that he's trying to fix things, that he needs Astro to believe in him and support him?
And that's the crux of the matter, isn't it? Astro isn't half as self-assured and unflappable as he should be. He can't accept the reality where Dandy wouldn't pick him over their ambitions, but that's exactly what is happening.
It's all so tiring. It's like an invisible wound is splitting him open, but there's nothing there and nothing to be done. All Astro can do is–
"Hello? Astro?"
"We're coming in!"
Sprout swings the door to Astro's room open like he was ripping off a bandaid, or rather pulling out teeth. The thud of the knob against the wall startles the sleepy toon enough to make him peek wearily out of his blanket cocoon. Both of Gardenview's best cooks walk into his space with little regard to the messy interior, their focus solely on their friend.
"You're awake for once. Good!" Sprout stops next to the bed with his hands on his hips like a chastising handler, his well acquaintance with the pose probably coming from the countless times he and Cosmo burnt the kitchen down. Astro blinks his eye tiredly. Since when had Sprout stepped in as the responsible one? It hadn't been that long since they were all wrangled like a pack of puppies by the humans.
"Are you even listening to me?!" Astro is startled awake again by Sprout shaking him by the shoulders.
"Woah, Sprout!" Cosmo pulls his best friend away from the bed for a quick aside, the dream weaver isn't privy to much of the exchange, but he figures he should at least try to figure out what his guests want from him.
Astro's deep sigh as he sits up on the bed makes his friends refocus on him. With a last glance at a scowling Sprout, Cosmo clears his throat and steps closer. "Sorry for the rude awakening, you seem..." Astro tries to take the assessing glance and subsequent wince in stride, "tired, still. Um. Were you busy looking through dreams last night? I don't really remember if you were in mine, because, uh..."
"I just need another nap." Astro cuts into the awkward pause, "but how can I help you two?"
"Help us?" Sprout scoffs, "you look like a zombie, man. And you think we're here to ask you for help?"
Before Astro can process the strawberry's words, Cosmo sits on the bed next to him. "We're worried about you, Astro. No one has really seen you around lately and you have been skipping meals."
"When was the last time you ate, huh?" Sprout crosses his arms, leaning over the sleepy toon in challenge, "because you know I keep a close eye on the food stores and I have yet to notice anything going missing overnight. Outside of candies, but I know that's either Yatta or Toodles, not our resident cereal enjoyer."
In truth, Astro can't answer the question accurately. Hours blended into days too easily and his appetite had disappeared some time ago. As if his slow pace would help him escape the conversation, Astro moves to lay down again, not bothering with a response.
"Oh no you don't!" The strawberry scoops the blanket burrito up to make Astro sit against the headboard. "You're coming up to the diner with me and Cosmo, and you're gonna eat your pancakes like everyone else."
Though Astro struggles to get out of the hold, he only manages to make the berry stumble and fall on top of him, "Sprout!" Astro tries to roll away, only for Sprout to trap his blanket covered body against his chest.
"If you want to be a burrito so bad then I'm putting you in the microwave, Astro!"
"Nooo!"
Cosmo watches his friends wrestle like a pair of worms for a couple of seconds, mildly amused, but the reason for their visit hangs too heavily in his mind to ignore for long. "Brightney said you haven't gone to book club since Dandy..." The pastry trails off at the hurt look on Astro's face. Like a switch has turned off, the dream weaver stops trying to get away, rather slumping against Sprout.
The strawberry subconsciously shifts his hold on Astro into something more comfortable, "what? Is this because of Dandy, too?" He grits his teeth, barely holding himself back from squeezing the other toon. "I thought you were working with them, that you were part of all that... Ichor Operation stuff. I... I was pissed."
Cosmo crawls over to them, putting a hand on Sprout's shoulder in silent support.
"But he never told you anything, did he?" The way Astro tenses in his arms is answer enough, "he lied to your face and kept secrets from you just like the rest of us."
With watering eyes, Astro carefully untangles his upper arms from the blanket, "I don't want to hear it, Sprout." He holds onto the arms around his middle, neither pushing them away nor encouraging them closer. "I thought you'd be the only one who'd understand, but... I'm glad you don't."
It was Cosmo who shed tears first. "I'm so sorry." He fiddles with the charms in his bracelet, taking a moment to steady his voice. "I don't know what I'd do in your shoes."
Astro spreads his arms, offering a hug to the swiss roll who takes it gratefully. "You'd probably throw Sprout out of a window. Something more proactive."
"I'd let you shove me in the oven," Sprout blurts out, "I'd accept my fate as roasted strawberry."
The comment makes Astro smile and Cosmo chuckle, although the moon can't keep his levity for long. "That's kind of the issue, I think." He averts his gaze away from his friends, not wanting them to see his heartbroken expression.
"What do you mean?" Sprout leans to the side to catch a glance anyway, "are you calling me a simp?"
Astro lets out a snort, "your words, dude."
"Hey!"
"But I mean... Dandy." Astro's smile fizzles out for good. "I... For the longest time I thought–" he closes his eye, letting go of Cosmo to cover his face. "It sounds really selfish, but I thought I was important to him like he is to me. That he would never put me in danger."
He feels like such a pretentious, entitled fool. He can't put a finger on the when or the how, but he had convinced himself of the idea that he and Dandy were meant to be. All the signals were there and Astro had been so sure that his feelings were requited, as nebulous and expansive as they were. He'd seen it in dreams, he'd felt it in the waking world. Was he the only one who thought it mattered?
"Astro?" Cosmo calls softly. He holds the moon's face with care, an anxious furrow in his brow marring his features. The fingers on his cheek feel cold and a little moist. "You dozed off again."
The apology dies on his lips before Astro can even attempt to voice it. He should be pushing his worried friends away, tell them he can handle himself and reassure them he would get something to eat later, but he can't bring himself to lie like that. Because as much of an inconvenience as he might be, he doesn't want to leave the warmth of their little huddle, doesn't want to give up their comforting words, no matter how undeserving of them he feels.
"Hey, sleepyhead." A blink of an eye has Astro standing up on his own feet, though most of his weight is held up by Sprout at his side. "Let's go for a little walk, yeah? You're going to dehydrate if we don't get you some water soon."
Whatever Sprout means by that, Astro doesn't care much to decipher it. He puts a foot in front of the other until his companion guides him into the plush seat of one of the diner's booths.
The cereal doesn't taste like much, but the cupcake does. It doesn't make him any less sleepy, but it does lessen pains Astro had forgotten were there.
Astro is only aware enough to understand he is basically sleepwalking back to his room. He wishes he could thank his friends for all their kindness, but he doesn't get much of a chance. With his last conscious thought, he vows to make it up to them, personal failings be damned.