Chapter Text
Minho is not in the best mood. He’s irritated at his boss, his coworkers, and even that dick on his morning ride hwho wouldn’t let him change lanes so he was unable to grab a coffee before work or he’d be late. He shouldn’t go out tonight because he’ll be grumpy and bring the whole night down.
But he promised Seungmin, and they haven’t really had any time together lately. He wished he had realized sooner how much he didn’t want to get dressed up and go to a club with all their friends. He could have sweet-talked Seungmin into staying in, but changing plans now would upset him, and they both don’t need to be cranky when they should be having a good time.
And it shouldn’t be so bad. A drink or two will ease the stress of the week. Seungmin will dress up all pretty, Felix and Hyunjin will probably put some makeup on him to make his eyes pop, and his lips that little bit extra tempting even when they’re already tempting enough. Yeah, going out won’t be too bad, especially when he’ll be bringing Seungmin home with him for the rest of the weekend.
He wants them just to live together already. It has less to do with them and more to do with Seungmin’s lease with Hyunjin not being up, and Minho having Jisung to think about. If they weren’t such children, Jisung and Hyunjin could move in together and let him and Seungmin get on with their lives. Apparently, that’s not an option for a reason that Seungmin knows but has been sworn to secrecy. The way Seungmin rolls his eyes when he explained it to Minho means it’s fucking stupid. Considering it’s about Hyunjin and Jisung, that seems about right.
Minho already knows what he’s going to wear, and it’s clean, so that helps him relax a bit. He hurriedly showers and changes into black pants and a black button-down, leaving the top two, no, make that three buttons undone. He wants to be as enticing to Seungmin as he can.
The club is crowded, which sucks, but it makes him press closer to Seungmin, so maybe it doesn’t. Seungmin looks good enough to eat, which he knew, but it’s been a while since he got club-ready. Tight pants and a shirt that seems baggy and formless until it hits the light just right, so that Minho can see through it and see Seungmin’s lean, delicate form and tiny waist. His eyes are kohl-rimmed, making them seductive, and his lips have that shine of pink that Minho can’t look away from.
Minho bought a round for everyone as soon as he got to the club to make up for being later than expected. Seungmin’s cheeks are already flushed from the drink, eyes shining, with a sly curve to his lips as he keeps staring at Minho. Minho presses himself even closer and doesn’t know how long he has until he can’t control himself and drags Seungmin home.
Minho can’t help but smirk at the guys who have been watching Seungmin and see that he’s here with him. Minho has always been prideful, but having Seungmin by his side has really taken it to new levels.
He knows that it’s the little things in life that make it worth it. Seungmin’s week has gone well, which Minho knew from the short phone calls he could take in between a demanding client and an even more demanding boss. Also, between the texts, they sent cat and dog videos because they appreciate their differences. So, Seungmin is in a good mood, which in turn takes away all the stress and annoyance at Minho’s shitty work week.
Minho is just about to see how far he can push Seungmin’s no pda rule. He thinks pretty far considering they haven’t been alone in over a week and Seungmin is more lax at clubs, but then Jisung is there, squeezing in with an arm around both of them.
“I love you guys so much,” Jisung slurs. Minho looks at Seungmin, who has a grin on his face, and doesn’t see how insane it is that Jisung is already wasted.
“How are you already drunk?” Minho blurts out. Jisung has a low tolerance, but this is ridiculous; they’ve barely been here half an hoir.
“The guys are feeding me shots since that asshole ghosted me,” Jisung explains, cheeks flushing darker in embarrassment and anger.
Minho knew that, too. He lives with Jisung and has heard him complaining all week. At first, Minho was considerate and caring, letting Jisung talk about his dating woes, but he hasn’t stopped. He’s already interrupted Seungmin and his early coffee date on Tuesday before they had work by coming along. And Minho had to cancel on Seungmin on Thursday because Jisung was a mess. It’s one of the reasons they all decided to go out tonight.
Minho is over it. Jisung always goes for shitty guys, and they end up being assholes, and then it’s everyone’s problem. Minho doesn’t want to diminish Jisung’s feelings, but they didn’t even really date. They hooked up a couple of times and went on a date, maybe two, before the guy stopped replying to Jisung’s messages. And yes, Minho understands it’s disheartening and upsetting. Jisung wants to love and be loved, but it’s ridiculous how he picks the worst guys. This one didn’t even end so bad, at least compared to some of the others Jisung dated. The guy could have texted Jisung to say he wasn’t feeling it and didn’t want to waste either of their time. It still would have been hurtful since Jisung was into him, but no games, no waiting around for a text or call that wasn’t going to come. Unfortunately, he didn’t, but that’s the way things go sometimes.
The point is, Minho has been supportive enough. He’s done his job as best friend, and now Jisung has to suck it up and get over it. Jisung’s reaction to the demise of a not-yet-defined relationship is not in proportion to how long they knew each other. And Minho wants to make out with his boyfriend, dammit! He has been waiting for this weekend so they could finally spend time together, since work already threw a wrench in their other weekly plans, and Jisung is fucking up everything else.
Of course, Minho doesn’t say this. Jisung is sensitive and takes everything to heart, which is why this is hitting him harder than it would anyone else in the group.
“You’ll find someone perfect for you soon,” Seungmin says, because he has tact. Minho keeps his mouth shut and holds back on telling Jisung to get the fuck away from them.
“No. I’ll be alone forever,” Jisung whines and then gags.
No fucking way.
Minho grabs Jisung, pushes his way through the crowd, and into the bathroom and shoves him into a stall, where he immediately starts retching.
This is not how Minho wanted to spend his night. He tries texting Felix or Jeongin so they can help Jisung, and he can get back to Seungmin. They don’t answer and Minho is left helping a drunk Jisung clean himself up, who’s way more wasted than Minho thought, and he can’t in good conscience leave Jisung to fend for himself. Fuck, he hates being a good person.
He texts Seungmin and tells him what he probably already knew, that Jisung is a mess and Minho has to help him. It’s interspersed with a million apologies and how he’d much rather be with him, but he can’t leave Jisung like this.
Seungmin says he understands and tells him he’ll help get them a cab when they come out of the washroom. It makes Minho feel worse, and he ends up pulling Jisung to his feet a little more forcefully than he intended. Is it so wrong for Minho to want to have a fun night with his boyfriend? He wanted to dance with Seungmin, as he turned all shy and embarrassed because he didn’t know how to, slip his arms around his waist, hold him close, and sway to the thumping beat, even if it wasn’t in time with the music.
Seungmin orders them a cab and helps Jisung in. Minho at least gets one kiss.
“We still have the rest of the weekend,” Minho vows and Seungmin nods.
“I know. Text me when you get home and let me know what the plan is for tomorrow.”
Minho wants to say the plan is for Seungmin to be in his bed for the next two days. But he thinks that will come out too vulgar and as if that’s all Minho cares about after being apart for a week, especially when he does want Seungmin under him and moaning. But more than that he’s want to chill, locked behind his four-bedroom walls, cuddle while talking or watching something, and just be together.
Minho gives Seungmin an aggressive kiss, feels more of the lip tint smudge on his own and wants to cry.
“I will. I’ll see you tomorrow, baby.”
“Goodnight, hyung.”
What a fucking shit cherry on top of a shit cake week this has been, Minho thinks as the cab pulls away, leaving Seungmin standing at the curb looking perfect, but alone. Minho should be there with him.
“You are literally the most annoying person I know,” Minho says to a passed-out Jisung. The cab driver gives him a commiserating nod, but is probably more worried about Jisung throwing up in his car.
Fortunately, Jisung doesn’t, and Minho gets him up to their apartment, showered and into bed quickly enough. Minho even debates going back to the club, but probably shouldn’t, just in case Jisung wakes up drunk and stupid or chokes on his vomit.
He texts Seungmin to let him know that he’s going to bed now, and that he better be ready for tomorrow because Minho misses him so much that he’s about to be the most annoying and clingy boyfriend in the world. Seungmin hearts the message, but doesn’t reply. A little trepidation kicks in, but Minho pushes it away. Seungmin is probably tipsy, dancing, and can’t text back like he usually does. It has Minho groaning with frustration into his pillow that he’s in bed alone while his boyfriend is having a night out. It’s entirely Jisung’s fault. Jisung will owe him big time for this.
Minho is pumped when he wakes up the next day. He showers, changes his sheets and cleans his room before 9am. He’s just about to text Seungmin that he’ll come pick him up whenever he’s ready when he hears Jisung sick in the bathroom again.
He’s hoping this is the end of it and Jisung will be fine, but then he opens the bathroom door. Jisung is only in boxers, skin flushed red, and he looks horrible.
“I don’t feel good,” Jisung says before heaving again. Minho presses his hand to Jisung’s forehead, and he’s burning up.
It has nothing to do with the amount of alcohol he ingested, or maybe it does, and it fucked up his already stupid, weak immune system because this isn’t just a hangover, it’s a fever.
If Jisung had a cold, Minho wouldn’t care, would change plans and go to Seungmin’s, but he really doesn’t look good. Minho sighs to himself. There's also no use infecting Seungmin more than he probably has. It’s too late for Minho, and Seungmin has a big presentation on Tuesday that would crush him if he got sick and couldn’t do it.
Minho hates how logical and responsible he is. He also hates how Jisung had to go and get sick this week when it’s already been bad enough, and Minho is missing his boyfriend for fuck’s sake.
“Like I said, most annoying person ever.”
Minho leaves him to call Seungmin. He feels fucking horrible.
“Jisung has a fever or something. So, this weekend is out. I don’t want to get you sick, especially before your presentation. I will make this up to you. I don’t know how because I’m going to have to go hard, and I’m so pissed, and all I want to do is see you and be with you, and this week sucked, and you’re the only good thing in my life, and I can’t because my dumb roommate had to ruin last night and now ruin this. I'm so sorry, baby.”
Minho isn’t one to apologize, but he knows he needs to. He’s actually been apologizing too much lately since he universe seems be against them making and following through with their plans.
Seungmin must still be sleeping, so he has to leave a message. Minho ends it by telling Seungmin to call him later, since he might be a little upset and can choose once he’s ready to hear more of Minho’s grovelling.
He hangs up just in time to hear a thud from the bathroom. He curses before running to see what Jisung has done now.
Fuck his life.
Seungmin doesn’t end up calling and texts instead. He tells Minho not to worry and that these things happen. That might be true, but why the fuck is it happening to them? After this, they'd better have smooth sailing for at least two months, or Minho is going to lose it.
He makes Jisung soup using up the ingredients he planned to use for Seungmin's lunch. He was going to see if Seungmin wanted to stay in or go out for dinner, and now he’s eating lukewarm soup while Jisung whines and blows his nose beside him.
Minho keeps reaching for his phone, wondering if he should call or text, but ends up doing neither. He doesn’t think Seungmin is too upset, at least not by his text, but maybe a little since he didn’t call. Minho doesn’t know what he can say to make it better.
Minho might be catastrophizing because he’s upset, and he shouldn’t project that onto Seungmin. He’s probably fine and went out with Hyunjin for dinner or made some plans to fill Saturday while his boyfriend had to babysit their sick friend.
He knows what he’ll do with his free time. Minho will plan a weekend away for two weeks from now. They’ll see each other before then, but at least he can check that Seungmin’s available while showing him he’s actually putting in effort to make it up to him instead of sweeping it under the rug.
The reason Minho is a little anxious and unsure, although he’s trying to hide it from himself, is that he knows that Seungmin gets pissed if plans are cancelled or pushed back. He’s not completely incapable of accepting change, but those two things, especially without good reason, bother him. Today the reason is a good one, Minho thinks. Maybe last night wasn’t, but he couldn’t get a hold of anyone to take over, so maybe it’s okay, too.
Minho knows some of his exes had issues with his and Jisung’s friendship and felt that they leaned on one another more than friends were supposed to, so he’s tried to make sure Seungmin knows he’s Minho’s priority, but he also isn’t going to drop Jisung, and, unfortunately, his workload is as heavy as it is.
Seungmin has never complained, but it's a little different since they started dating after being in the same friend group. It's not like Seungmin didn’t know what he was signing up for. But Seungmin isn’t one to complain, and in Minho’s past relationships, he knows he’s used Jisung as an excuse to get out of things, but he never does that with Seungmin. Minho wasn’t in love with his exes like he is with Seungmin.
He loves Seungmin, and he doesn’t want to ruin anything or have it turn out like his other relationships did, where he gets dumped for not caring or trying hard enough.
The weather has started to get colder, so he’ll look up a cute cabin, find a fancy restaurant, and have them go on a leisurely hike, since Minho wants it to be relaxing and just the two of them.
By the end of the night, he’s researched and made a little itinerary where Seungmin can pick which restaurant or trail he’d like to hike. Jisung is feeling better and while Saturday has been a bust for any quality time spent together Minho has decided nothing is getting in the way of him surprising Seungmin with dinner Tuesday night after his presentation.
Sunday afternoon Seungmin finally calls. He’s a little cold, but he soon warms up. Minho apologizes and explains himself again.
“If you aren’t worried about getting sick for your presentation I’ll come over right now.” Minho means it. Seungmin is more concerned about spreading illnesses, not that Minho doesn’t care, just that if the roles were reversed he’d be okay with Seungmin getting him sick as long as he got to see him.
“No, you’re right. It just sucks. I miss you,” Seungmin says in a small voice. Minho clenches his eyes tight and grits his teeth. He breathes out slowly to calm himself. He feels horrible, not in the sad and miserable way Seungmin seems to, but in a white hot and angry way that if something else happens for them to stay apart he is going to scream and he’s not sure if he’ll be able to stop.
“Me too,” Minho replies, frustration thick in his voice. “I’m very close to kicking Jisung out because if I don't see the problem I don't have to fix it.”
Seungmin snorts, but he doesn't seem as amused as normal. It's okay, Minho isn't either.
“I don't think you will,” Seungmin says. There's something in his tone that Minho can't read. It has his heart beating out of time and his palms sweating.
“Don’t be so sure about that.”
If Minho had to choose between Seungmin and Jisung, which he doesn’t, or not completely, he’d pick Seungmin in a heartbeat. Minho can’t even imagine loving Seungmin more than he already does, but he knows it’ll happen. He knows the more days and months and years they spend together will only strengthen how he feels. He won’t give up a ten year friendship, but he is willing to cut down on his time spent with Jisung even more than he already has. The last couple weeks have been a regression, but only because of extenuating circumstances.
Seungmin sounds tired so they don’t talk for too long. They’ll be fine and work should be slowing down and there will be a moratorium on hanging out with Jisung or doing anything with him or anyone other than just each other.
Monday they only text a few times and Minho is worried until Seungmin asks if he’s busy after work on Tuesday. He already planned to bring Seungmin dinner as a surprise so he tells Seungmin he’s not busy and suggests bringing him food from his favourite restaurant in celebration of Seungmin completing his presentation.
Seungmin agrees and Minho thinks they're back to normal or as normal as they can be before they reunite properly, and actually see and talk and cuddle with one another, and maybe Minho can get some kisses he's been cruelly denied by life lately.
Minho stops at Seungmin’s favourite restaurant and picks up three meals. The third meant to bribe Hyunjin to leave them alone. He gets flowers as well, remembering how Seungmin secretly loves them but won't buy them for himself. Which makes sense since it should be Minho’s job.
He thinks this is enough to start making up for how things have been lately. Minho’s hope is that the romantic getaway will smooth over the rest of Seungmin’s ruffled feathers. Minho is pretty sure that even though Seungmin said it was fine in his texts, he might be a little ticked off at the situation since they didn't talk as much the last few days. Seungmin is so good at hiding his feelings, but Minho knows it must be annoying that Minho has had to work so much overtime and bailing on their time together twice in as many days did not make things better. He’s going to rectify that pronto. He might not be the best communicator, but he is not going to wait to fix this like a moron.
Luckily, one of Seungmin’s neighbours is leaving when Minho gets to the apartment and lets him in. His hands are full and he makes it into the elevator and is able to smoosh the button for the fifth floor without dropping anything.
Minho sets the food down outside Seungmin and Hyunjin’s door to knock before picking it back up again. It takes longer than normal for someone to answer the door, the plastic bag digging into his palm much more obvious since he put it down for a moment. It stings a bit as Hyunjin opens the door.
“Hey,” Minho greets. “I got you some dinner, too.”
“I guess Jisung is doing better,” Hyunjin says as he steps aside to allow Minho entry. Minho pauses at the tone, it seems off and more than Hyunjin being a bit of a dick where it concerns Jisung. He wonders what Seungmin has said to Hyunjin to make him react like that. He won’t lie, it makes him worried, but he pushes onwards.
“Yeah, he looked like death on Saturday, but he’s not throwing up and looks a little better. He should be able to go back to work tomorrow or the next day.” Minho takes off his shoes, gives Hyunjin the food meant for him and continues into the apartment.
“Hey baby,” Minho says as he puts their meals on the dining table. He moves to Seungmin immediately with the flowers leading the way. Seungmin smiles softly and takes them, giving them a little sniff.
“Thank you, hyung.” Seungmin isn’t grinning like he was at the club, it’s a fragile little thing that makes Minho want to punch himself in the face. Minho notices some chicken thighs defrosting on the counter and his heart plummets. Did Seungmin think he’d cancel again?
“You hungry? I got your favourite.” Seungmin follows him to the dinner table. It’s awkward. Minho lays out the food, hurries into the kitchen to grab two glasses of water before he sits down again. “You hungry, puppy?” Minho asks, voice soft and cautious.
Seungmin nods his head, but he's pushing the food around the take out container.
“I have a surprise for you.” Minho gets out his phone to show Seungmin the cute cabin he found and for Seungmin to pick out a weekend that works for him. He’s about to hand over his phone, but Seungmin abruptly puts out his chopsticks.
“We should break up.”
Minho’s mind blanks, phone still outstretched in his hand. He pulls it back to himself. Slowly his mind starts working again. In the ensuing silence as Seungmin nervously wrings his hands as Minho processes what Seungmin said.
Seungmin wants to break up. He said the words, but Minho doesn’t want to. Minho also doesn’t believe him. He knows these last few days have been annoying, but not break up worthy.
“No,” Minho says. Seungmin’s hands stop moving and he looks at Minho in stunned confusion.
“It’s not something you can say no to, hyung,” Seungmin scoffs.
“I can if it doesn’t make sense. I know these last few days have been unfortunate. I wanted to see you and spend time with you. Trust me, if I wasn’t worried about Jisung choking to death on his vomit or his fever being dangerously high I’d never have left the club without you or cancelled on you. Literally, only the worry of death stopped me.” Minho explains and tries to take Seungmin’s hand, but he pulls it away.
“It’s not just this weekend or Jisung,” Seungmin says. “I don’t think we are on the same page. I think it’s been becoming clearer for the last while that we aren’t compatible and we don’t feel the same.”
Minho is so confused. He thought they were on the same page, thought they were writing the same book together. There’s no way they aren’t compatible. They like the same things and both are willing and go with the flow to try something new for the other without complaint and they have fun. They always have fun together. But not feeling the same has Minho feeling sick.
“You’re not in love with me?” Minho asks because he needs to hear it, even if it’ll destroy him.
Seungmin looks gutted.
“That’s not—” Seungmin cuts himself off and Minho feels his eyes sting when he sees the tears in Seungmin’s.
“That’s not what? What you meant?” Minho presses, but not too hard. He sees how Seungmin fidgets. Seungmin doesn’t answer. “If you aren’t in love with me. I need to hear it from you. I need to hear you say it.”
Although, it’s somehow come to this Minho doesn’t believe that Seungmin doesn’t love him, but if that’s the truth then Seungmin has to say it. Seungmin isn’t the best at lying, especially to a direct question, so Minho will know one way or another.
Seungmin stands abruptly.
“I think you should go,” he says, pointedly not looking at Minho. “Don’t make this harder than it is. We’re friends and I don’t want to ruin that, but I can’t do this anymore.” Seungmin sounds sad and tired and close to tears. Minho doesn’t want to hurt him anymore than he already has and he’s still so confused that he leaves without fighting.
As he’s walking through the apartment, still reeling and wondering how they got to this point without him realizing it, Hyunjin calls out
“Leaving already? Did Jisung call?” Hyunjin says with attitude.
Minho shakes his head.
“Seungmin broke up with me,” Minho tells him and can hear the confusion in his words.
“What?” Hyunjin asks, shocked. So, Seungmin didn’t tell Hyunjin what he planned to do. “There’s no way. You’re obsessed with each other.”
Minho shrugs, his body feeling heavy.
“Well, he did.”
“I thought he was just going to give you a talking to. You know, “treat me right,” and “tell Jisung to fuck off.”” Hyunjin says.
“He told me to fuck off.” He didn’t really, but he might as well have. “So, I guess I’ll see you around.”
“Yeah.”
Minho leaves and walks the streets for hours. He racks his brain for any instances where he didn’t treat Seungmin right. Minho knows he’s been good about Jisung, that he wasn’t using him as an excuse, or hanging out with him more than Seungmin. He knows because he always wanted to be around Seungmin and would only make plans with Jisung if he were busy. But if Seungmin is only looking at the last couple weeks, this last one especially, then yeah, it doesn’t look good for him.
Seungmin is rational, and he may be more sensitive than most people would think, so Minho can see how he’d be upset with how this last week has gone, but it can’t be the reason they’re breaking up. It could be the last straw, though.
Work has always been an issue. Minho has always worked too much, always going after promotions and a better salary. He’s good at his job, doesn’t necessarily love it, but it pays well. He’s always wanted to feel secure, a nice place to live, the ability to do what he wants, and a good chunk of change in his bank account.
Minho has most of that, and has for a while. He could get a better apartment and planned to once he and Seungmin moved in together, since Jisung couldn’t afford what Minho could, and Jisung wanted to pay equal shares. It didn’t bother him much since he knew he would eventually have that.
He knows in the past he worked too much because he was lonely and still had that need to make as much as he could. He used work to avoid his past relationships when he was too much of a coward to break up with them. With Seungmin he’s not doing that, knows he’s not doing that, but old habits die hard and he could never say no to overtime because he wanted to be seen as reliable and willing to do what it takes to move higher in his company.
Minho could be grasping at straws, but he thinks it’s more his work schedule that caused Seungmin to feel how he does. And Jisung just added to it until Seungmin didn’t feel like he was a priority, didn’t feel like Minho loved him, and was doing what he always did in his relationships, being shitty until they broke up with him.
Seungmin has been around for Minho’s past relationships. Although, Minho didn’t realize what he was doing in the moment, clarity only really coming when he was dumped and felt relieved rather than sad, so he’s aware of how Minho acted in his last relationships. What he doesn’t seem to realize is Minho would never apologize for cancelling, never send texts telling them how badly he wants to see them and that he’ll make it up them.
Seungmin didn't, and Minho is thinking, couldn’t tell him he wasn't in love with him because he still is. He loves Minho, he just couldn’t deal with how flaky he must come across especially with how his past relationships turned out.
Minho can change. If he had to choose between the promotion he has coming up and Seungmin, it’s no contest. He’s ready to drop kick Jisung out of their apartment for fucks sake. All he has to do is show Seungmin that and make him believe it.
Seungmin still loves him and Minho can work with that. Seungmin doesn’t want to break up with him, not really, he wants Minho to be better. Minho can be better, he knows he can.
He’s going to fix this.
Minho is a little nervous. He continued walking the night before until he came up with a sure fire plan to win Seungmin back. Now, he thinks and hopes it’s a sure fire plan, but will it actually work?
He’s waiting outside of Seungmin’s apartment with coffee from his favourite shop. Minho even made him a bento box of all his favourites for lunch, since Seungmin usually buys a sandwich from the convenience store every day.
Seungmin doesn’t look so happy to see him when he steps out, but Minho has to endure. This will work. He will be with Seungmin again.
“Here, I got you coffee,” Minho says, stepping forwarding, holding the cup out like an offering.
Seungmin takes it with a sigh. After he glances at it he looks sharply at Minho.
“From my favourite shop?”
“Only the best for you.”
“It’s out of your way, I’m out of your way, you’ll be late for work,” Seungmin admonishes. Minho isn’t going to be late for work, he already is, and he doesn’t care. Showing Seungmin he cares is more important. It won’t have Minho losing his job, he’s not that crazy, but it will lose him some respect. He can’t care about that. He’s one of the best at his job, and the best in his company, he deserves a break, especially when how he acted, how he let his boss treat him, has got him to this point.
“It’s okay. I’m trying this new thing, getting my priorities straight,” Minho says, shocking Seungmin. Before he can reply, say something Minho doesn’t want to hear he gestures to his car. “Hop in, I’m taking you to work.”
Seungmin looks at Minho like he doesn’t know what he’s doing.
“Minho, we’re broken up,” Seungmin says hopelessly, like he’s not sure if they are. Minho is going to ride that for all it’s worth until he wins Seungmin back or Seungmin tells him to stop and that he doesn’t love him. Minho knows it’s a bit of a red flag, but he wouldn’t do it if he thought Seungmin didn’t want him.
“But we’re friends, friends do this for each other.” Minho doesn’t like playing the friend card, but if it means he’ll be allowed to show Seungmin he’s changed, he’ll do it.
“Fine.”
Minho drives Seungmin to work, not even caring as the time ticks away and he’ll be over forty minutes late. He asks about Seungmin’s presentation and how it went. For the fifteen minute drive, it feels like they’re back to normal. Seungmin talking excitedly about work, spilling some gossip about Sarah in accounting and David in marketing.
It's not until they pull up that Seungmin stops, realizing that he's falling back into their normal banter.
“We can be friends, hyung,” Seungmin says as he opens the car door. “But nothing more.”
Minho doesn't reply as to not incriminate himself and Seungmin gets out and goes into his building. Minho continues watching, long after he's gone.
Minho doesn’t want to invalidate Seungmin’s feelings or push boundaries he shouldn’t, but Seungmin is wrong. If he can’t say he isn’t in love with Minho, but believes they don’t feel the same then that means Seungmin doesn’t think Minho loves him. Which is crushing and maddening and makes Minho feel insane because he can’t imagine not loving Seungmin, but that means he hasn't been treating Seungmin right and if he can fix that by fixing himself then he can fix them.
He’s leaving work early, and by early he means on time, not staying the forty minutes he missed in the morning or doing any of his regular overtime. Since this week is a bit slower than last where he worked so much overtime, honestly he’s worked enough overtime the last four years to be cut some slack, and he was able to get everything done, not that he wouldn’t have left if he didn’t, but at least one thing is going smoothly.
His boss, Chan, a major workaholic, worse than Minho, and the type who expects everyone to do the same, calls him over see him as Minho is trying to leave the office.
Minho enters his office, making sure to look unruffled.
“Leaving already?” Chan asks. This is actually ridiculous. Minho can count on one hand how many times he’s been late since he was hired, due to unforeseen traffic or horrible weather, things out of his control, and Chan wants to question him?
“I’ve finished everything I needed to do today and I’m waiting to hear back from our clients which won’t be until tomorrow morning at the earliest,” Minho explains.
“There’s nothing you can get ahead on since you were late this morning?” Chan asks, like this is Minho’s first day.
“There’s always something to get ahead on, it’s kind of why I have a job, and I could stay here until midnight and still not technically be ahead, but we are where we need to be.”
“It doesn’t look good, is all I’m saying, especially with that promotion coming up,” Chan laying on the guilt trip thick, letting his implications land.
Minho smiles without amusement and shakes his head.
“I wonder if all the overtime I’ve worked the last month, the last four years, looks good? When I don’t get to visit my family for holidays and I don’t get to see my boyfriend, is that good? Is all that stuff about work-life balance and not getting burnt out just talk and you don’t truly care about how we’re doing?
“My boyfriend is trying to break up with me because I never see him. Because for the last four years I’ve done anything you’ve asked of me because that’s what I’ve been taught in order to be a good worker, do what I’m told, don’t ever question. But I’m questioning, do you think me being forty minutes late really affected how much I got done today? Did you notice I ate at my desk and worked through my lunch to make up that time? Did you notice I didn’t have any breaks, but to go to the bathroom and refill my coffee cup? Did you notice that for the last four years I’ve done my job and done it well?
“I work hard. I will continue to work hard, but I need you to cut me some slack, respect me enough to know that I’m a good worker and will make sure I reach every target, finish every project, and do what needs to be done without you micromanaging me. But you need to understand I work to live not live to work. I want a life outside of this place and that shouldn’t make me unreliable, that shouldn’t make me “not look good,” it should be the standard and if my boyfriend, the love of my life, leaves me because I put more importance on this job, I’ll never forgive you or myself.”
Minho doesn’t regret what he’s said, but he feels like he might be about to be fired. Which will suck, but he’s realizing it won’t be the end of the world. He can find another job maybe with less pay and therefore less responsibility if he has to. What he can’t do is find another Seungmin.
“So, what does this mean?” Chan asks, sighing. Minho can see how Chan rubs his thumb across his finger, where Minho is now remembering a ring used to be. Oh shit. Minho won’t feel bad for him, okay, he will a little, but Chan did that to himself and Minho isn’t going to follow in his footsteps.
“It means that I need to change my start time, but not my end time. I will work through lunch and take no breaks so I’m working all my hours, but unless it’s an emergency I will not be coming in early or leaving late. My weekends will be my weekends and I’m going to start using my PTO. I need to fix this, trust me, you want me to fix this so I can continue doing my job the way I have been, just without staying late and hating myself.”
“Okay,” Chan says and Minho knows his eyes widen in surprise. “But I meant what I said, it won’t look good to the other higher ups come promotion time. I don’t make the decision by myself.”
Minho can’t lie, it feels odd to be okay with that. He’s always strived to be the best, but if being the best at work means being the worst at home, then that’s not who he is anymore. Part of him wants to be passed up for the promotion, but he’s not going to say that, he’ll let his actions speak louder, and if he still gets it, he’s going to put his foot down before taking the role so they know what he’s willing to do and what he isn’t.
“I know,” Minho says. Chan nods his head, an understanding between them.
“Go get your man,” Chan says with a heartbreaking smile on his face. “For those of us that didn’t.”
Minho nods this time and leaves to go surprise Seungmin to drive him home. He feels bad for Chan, as much as he’s an annoying boss, he’s a good person that Minho will assume didn’t realize the pain he was causing before it was too late and his spouse left him. But Minho is not going to end up like him, sad and lonely and regretful sitting at his desk hours after the work day ends because he has no one to go home to.
Maybe, maybe, if Minho fixes things, figures out how to be a better boyfriend and has some time and effort to spare he’ll see if Chan ever wants to grab a beer, hear his story, and help him either move on or get his person back. But he can’t do that right now, he has to get his person back.
Seungmin rolls his eyes when he sees him but he still gets in the car.
“How long are you going to do this for?” he asks once he’s settled in.
“Uh, probably for as long as you let me,” Minho answers. He catches how Seungmin looks out his window to hide a smile. Minho is taking that as a win, a small win, he’s not going to get ahead of himself, but he needs that win. Needs to know that he can fix this. “So, how was your day?”
Minho doesn’t want to do too much so he doesn’t try to follow Seungmin upstairs. He needs to find a balance of making time for Seungmin that’s sustainable and he won’t back slide on and make him think he doesn’t care.
He goes home and sees Jisung sitting on the couch still in his pajamas. He’s trying not to be angry at Jisung. It’s mostly Minho’s fault that their friendship is what it is. He never realized the impact it’s had on Seungmin, he thought he did, he didn’t want to treat Seungmin like he had his past partners, but somewhere along the way he did. He’s coddled Jisung, stepping in to help when maybe he shouldn’t have and he needs to set boundaries.
“Hey hyung, how was work? Must have been tired, heard you get in late last night and leave early,” Jisung says with a lavacious smirk.
“I need to talk to you,” Minho says because it’s now or never.
“Oh?” Jisung says sitting up, on alert. “What’s up?”
“Seungmin broke up with me last night,” Minho drops the bomb. Jisung’s eyes widen and his mouth opens in shock.
“No, he didn’t.”
Minho nods his head, tongue flicking out to wet his lips.
“He did. But I’m going to win him back and I need your help,” Minho says.
“Anything. What do you need me to do?” See, this is one of the many reasons they’re best friends. Jisung might be sensitive and anxious, but he will do anything for his friends, anything for Minho, even without knowing what it is.
“You’re my best friend and I love you, but I need us to have some boundaries.”
“Oh, he’s upset with how close we are?”
“No, I don’t think it’s that. He said it wasn’t just about you, but that means it’s a little about you. I think the biggest issue, my biggest issue, is that I never say no to you, or to my work or anything, but with Seungmin I cancelled on or rescheduled without thinking about how that showed him that he was at the bottom of my list, that I would do whatever I could for others and then leave him hanging.
“I think that especially these last two weeks with how much I’ve been working and how little time I spent with him and then having to leave early that night at the club and not see him so I could take care of you really pushed him over the edge. But I still don’t think it’s how close we are, more that my first thought should be him and my second how you’re doing, you know what I mean?”
“Yeah, and I am really sorry for how this weekend went. I didn’t mean to drink so much or get sick.”
“I know and it wasn’t just that, Seungmin isn’t like that, it’s just what broke the camel’s back. If I was being the boyfriend he needed and this happened, it wouldn’t be a problem, he’d do the same for Hyunjin and Felix, but because of all that—”
“It made it worse,” Jisung says, in understanding
“Exactly. So, no more third wheeling unless Seungmin asks, no more calling and interrupting date nights unless it’s an emergency, and please, please for the love of god figure out your shit with Hyunjin so we can all hang out together with us not having to mediate between you two. You’re both of our best friends and it would make it easier so we can hang out together instead of having to make time for you both separately which encroaches on our alone time.”
“Yeah, I can try, but I think he’s the one who will be a tough sell,” Jisung says, much more sadly than Minho anticipated.
Minho doesn’t understand what happened between them. It was before Minho was introduced to the group who met in college, consisting of Jisung, Seungmin, Hyunjin, Felix and Jeongin, so things were a little awkward. Jisung never said anything too bad about Hyunjin, but Hyunjin would make passive aggressive remarks until they both stopped coming around when the other would be there if they could.
Minho likes Hyunjin, sure they banter about Minho stealing Seungmin from him and Hyunjin is always on Seungmin’s side even when he’s wrong, but it’s never about anything big.
The weird thing, that Minho has never said to anyone, not even Seungmin, is he thinks Jisung and Hyunjin would be perfect for each other. They are both huge romantics, they have been in relationships where they put everything into it and didn’t get anything back. They literally like all of the same things, the same movies and tv shows and music. Jisung might be more into video games and Hyunjin into art, but that’s the only difference Minho can think of.
And Hyunjin would be so good for Jisung, he wants someone to take care of and Jisung needs to be taken care of, but he’d be so appreciative about it. He’d never expect it. Jisung can and will step up should he need to care for Hyunjin. It honestly makes Minho a little insane, especially when he’s the only one that apparently sees it.
“I don’t know. Apologize and make up, I know you guys were friends before I came around,” Minho says and pauses. “Is that why? Did I best friend steal you from Hyunjin?”
“No,” Jisung says softly. “I was an idiot.”
“I mean, I kind of figured,” Minho says. “A big enough idiot that he didn’t accept your apology?” Jisung doesn’t answer, letting the silence settle. “A big enough idiot that he didn’t accept your apology?” Minho asks again, but louder this time. Because there is no way Jisung didn’t apologize and still hasn’t, is there?
“Listen, I was stupid and embaressed and every time I tried I felt my throat closing up and I couldn’t do it. And then I waited too long and I couldn’t do it.”
“No, no, no,” Minho says. “You can always do it. But do you want to? Are you actually sorry?”
“I’m so sorry. If I could go back and do the exact opposite I would,” Jisung says with feeling.
“Okay, well say that, and mean it, and say more. Grovel! It’s been like almost three years.”
“I know. I know. I should.”
“You will.”
“I will,” Jisung agrees. “But give me a little time to pump myself up.”
Minho wants to say he’s had three years, but it'll already be overwhelming for Jisung so he lets him be.
“So, you think you can handle me making Seungmin my priority?”
“Yes, and I should have realized what I was doing sooner. It’s harder to see when we’re all friends, but he’s your boyfriend and that’s a completely different level.”
“Okay good, and should everything work out and I get Seungmin back I want to live with him, so you should start looking for a place. Honestly, even if we don’t work out, I think it would probably be for the best going forward.”
“Yeah, I figured we’d stop living together sooner rather than later. But it’s been fun, for the most part, hasn’t it hyung?”
“It has been,” Minho agrees.
He met Jisung at work, funnily enough. Jisung was a junior level assistant at the time, but even Minho, first day on the job, could tell he hated it. He didn’t last too long but they remained friends. Jisung tends to work odd jobs while working on his music. He’s good, but it’s a hard industry to break into.
Jisung was the only person who could persuade Minho to go out and have fun when he was working so much, trying to prove his worth, and was exhausted because of it. Eventually, he met everyone else and always harboured a crush on Seungmin. Seungmin was a little standoffish, a little reluctant to get to know Minho, which he took in stride, although it was disappointing.
And then Seungmin started to open up to Minho bit by bit. It was slow going for a while, but Minho was happy being friends, even though he held on to his crush, even when dating other people.
It was Jisung, after Minho’s last relationship went up in flames and he stopped dating for a time and seemed miserable about it, who asked what he was even doing, why he keeps going out with people he doesn’t even like?
“Because the person I do like doesn’t like me back,” Minho admits with a sigh, staring forlornly at his hands.
“Uh, I’m seriously going to hurl if you mean me,” Jisung says and Minho sends him a disgusted look.
“No, I mean Seungmin,” Minho says annoyed.
“Oh, thank god,” Jisung says, relieved. “You should ask him out. You’ve been hanging out together pretty often lately, and you’ll never know if you don’t try. If he doesn’t feel the same, he’s not an asshole so he’ll be nice about it,” Jisung says and mutters something to himself.
It’s true, Minho will never know unless he tries, and after two years the feelings haven’t gone away, if anything he likes Seungmin more than ever. He’s funny and smart and nice and a little bit chaotic and looks wise he’s Minho’s type to a T. Like insanely good looking and when Minho catches sight of his tiny waist, or his long legs Minho gets fucking weird and twitchy and feels like a creep because he’s so attracted to Seungmin and Seungmin is just existing.
There is a chance Seungmin likes him back, he does blush around him a lot, and touches him more than anyone else, making Minho even more weird, so there are signs Minho can see being in his favour. But unless Seungmin rejects him he’s going to keep hoping, keep wanting him and he’ll never get over him, so either way he needs to put his big boy pants on and see how Seungmin feels.
“You’re right. I’m going to do it.”
And Minho did, right then and there. He went to his room, called Seungmin up with shaking hands and asked him out on a date.
Seungmin was surprised, asked if Minho was sure he was calling the right person. Minho had to hold back just how right Seungmin was and the only person he wanted to date. He did let him know that he’d been crushing on him for years and finally found the courage to ask him out.
The first date was a little awkward, or really Seungmin was, like he still couldn’t believe Minho asked him out. The second got better and the third and the fourth until before Minho knew it he was fully in love. Like heart-stopping, world-tilting love. And he didn’t want to scare Seungmin away so he didn’t say it, although any time Seungmin pretty much did or said anything Minho wanted to blurt it out.
Seungmin was skittish. He had bad relationships the opposite way to Minho, which made Minho feel like an absolute dick, but luckily his relationships didn’t drag out before they dumped him. Still, he knows he should have been a better human being all around.
He made sure to make Seungmin feel seen and heard and appreciated, or he thought he did, clearly he should have done better with that as well. The problem, Minho thinks, is he knew he loved and wanted to be with Seungmin forever, but he got comfortable and let work get away from him, let Jisung take his attention, and thought everything was momentary and he’d eventually get back to their normal, but one thing after another, more cancelled dates, and more overtime, that Minho only realized after he was scrolling through their messages in despair, and Seungmin was done.
But Minho knows now and he can’t see himself ruining things again, not when he knows what it feels like to lose Seungmin and he won’t take him for granted ever again.
He’s talked to his boss and talked to Jisung and told them what to expect from him. Now he only has the hardest part left: convincing Seungmin to give him another chance.
Minho continues bringing Seungmin coffee and driving him to work and picking him up. He knows Seungmin is waiting for him to stop, to be too busy and for something more important to come up. That won’t happen, Minho won’t let it.
As it comes to the following monday, he can see Seungmin looking for his car as he pulls in. He sees how Seungmin’s face falls, which fucking sucks, but also shows that Seungmin is starting to look forward to seeing Minho and any doubts he had are gone. He’s winning his baby back.
When he pulls up and Seungmin smiles, hops in and takes his coffee.
“How about we have dinner tonight?” Minho asks as he drives. Seungmin takes too long to answer and Minho looks over. He looks conflicted, Minho doesn’t know if that good or bad, but it’s something.
“I don’t know if we should,” Seungmin finally says. It hits Minho then that Seungmin doesn’t want to give in too early. It’s only been less than a week of Minho changing himself for the better, and he’s probably wondering whether this is just for show, just to get him back, and for him to turn into an inconsiderate asshole again. But Minho thinks, hopes, that Seungmin wants them back together and he's just scared.
“It’s just dinner,” Minho says.
Seungmin gives him a look.
“Just dinner, huh?” he says. “Then I can invite Hyunjin, since it’s just dinner with a friend. The more the merrier, right?”
Minho smiles and shakes his head.
“Yeah, sure, the more the merrier.”
Seungmin is trying to make a point, and maybe it’s going over Minho’s head but all he can hear is that Seungmin needs to have a chaperone to go out with Minho, and if that isn’t a sure sign that he doesn’t trust himself and wants to get back together, Minho doesn’t know what is.
Minho goes to work, calls for a reservation for three, sits and eats his lunch at his desk and makes sure he has everything he needs to do finished by the time he leaves.
He catches Chan watching him as he leaves. He doesn’t stop to talk, there’s nothing to say. He hopes Chan is seeing how he too can change. But that’s not his problem.
He’d normally change before going for dinner, but now is not the time to be late, even by a few minutes, so he meets Seungmin at his work to drive him home.
Minho made an earlier reservation than normal. Usually he’d be working later and Seungmin would have to wait until he was done to go, which was probably made more annoying since Seungmin likes to eat early if he can. If Minho isn’t in the equation he’d want dinner at five or six and not the seven or eight Minho could make it to.
“You have enough time to shower and change if you want to, the reservation is in forty minutes,” Minho tells him when he parks to let Seungmin out.
“Oh, okay,” Seungmin says and gets out and starts walking to his building. He turns around and sees Minho still sitting in the car, and comes back over. “Were you going to sit in your car until me and Hyunjin are ready?”
“I, uh, didn’t want to overstep?” Minho says. It’s true he doesn’t, and although this is an odd position to find himself in, he’s not trying to start over, they’ve known each other too long for that, but he doesn’t want to get into the same habits without input from Seungmin.
Seungmin told him to leave and to date has not invited him back in. It may be splitting hairs since Minho has taken it upon himself to pick Seungmin up with coffee and drive him home every day but that’s public and he doesn’t want to assume or seem entitled to Seungmin private places until he allows it.
“Hm,” Seungmin says and looks at Minho. “You’re really taking this seriously.”
Minho startles. He wants to scream or laugh or cry that of course he’s taking this seriously. He doesn’t do any of that, he swallows heavily.
“Yes. I’m taking you seriously.”
“You can come up and wait, no sense you staying in the car. Pull into your regular spot and the code is still the same.”
Minho hasn’t grieved this relationship, for good reason, since it’s not over until Seungmin gets a restraining order. But as he pulls into his “regular” spot it hits him that if Seungmin doesn’t believe him and he’s only trying to keep their friendship intact and will eventually let Minho down easy, he doesn’t know what he would do.
He hates himself for being so blind, for thinking things were good because Seungmin didn’t complain, but Seungmin never fucking complains. It shouldn’t have taken Seungmin breaking up with Minho to see what he was doing and what he wasn’t.
The only thing that makes him feel slightly better about it is the hope he can fix it and the fact that he understands where Seungmin is coming from, he’s not blowing it off and he cares and he wants to do right by him.
Minho takes his time getting up to Seungmin and Hyunjin’s apartment. Strolls leisurely through the building since he has time. He’s always preferred coming to Seungmin’s place, it’s nicer than his and Jisung's, since both Hyunjin and Seungmin good paying jobs and Hyunjin is a little bougie and wouldn’t ever live in a place like Jisung and Minho’s.
He also liked it since Jisung wasn’t around and couldn’t encroach on his and Seungmin’s time together. Minho will acknowledge that because he was so happy and in love with Seungmin that he let Jisung get away with doing it more than he should because he felt bad for him. He didn’t want his best friend to feel lonely, but with eyes wide open, if allowing it too much made Seungmin feel like he wasn’t dating Minho, but Jisung as well, then it wasn’t worth it.
Plus, Seungmin isn’t wrong or irrational or anything like that, he wouldn’t care if it was once in a while, but it was becoming more often than not. In Minho’s very little defence, Seungmin never acted upset, not until it was too late. He had fun and would laugh and seem like everything was fine when Jisung flopped on the recliner and watched whatever movie they put on.
And a little more defence, is that Minho wanted to be alone with Seungmin, have their time together, but he also knew it was a moment in time and eventually he and Seungmin would move in together and the Jisung problem would be removed from the equation.
Still, Minho knows it doesn’t matter what he thought, especially when it was mostly a thought and he didn’t bring it up much, he should have figured out a way to be a good boyfriend and a good friend, without taking Seungmin for granted. Like, Seungmin can do it. Seungmin can be there for Hyunjin and Minho never felt like he wasn’t Seungmin’s first priority. Again, Minho worked a lot, so maybe it wouldn’t be as easy, but Minho doesn’t really believe that.
When he gets to their apartment, punches in the code, and steps in, he’s greeted by Hyunjin sitting at the kitchen counter.
“Well, hello,” Hyunjin says, smirking.
“Hi.”
“Big spender taking me out to dinner too, eh?”
Minho chuckles and shakes his head.
“The more the merrier, apparently,” Minho mutters.
“He’s making you work for it,” Hyunjin says, shrugging.
“I know and I’m happy too.” And he is, although it does suck that it got to this point.
“So, you’re taking him to and from work, going out of your way to get him coffee, and taking him to dinner, do you have any other plans in the making?” Hyunjin asks.
“Actually,” Minho says. “I do, but I might need a little help, if you’re willing.”
“To help bring true love back together? Of course, I’ll help.” Minho wasn’t sure how Hyunjin felt about the situation, to his face he could be nice and friendly because they get along, but for all Minho knew, he might think Seungmin should kick him to the curb. “For what it’s worth, I want to see you guys back together. I told him to talk to you, but obviously he didn’t and then everything went to shit. I knew once you knew and realized what was important that you’d make things right and keep them that way. He’s a little uncertain, though.”
“Yeah, I figured that, with him inviting you and all,” Minho says.
Hyunjin laughs.
“Don’t worry, you are getting somewhere, now what do you need help with?”
Minho explains that he had already rented a cabin for this weekend, didn’t cancel since his hope was too high and that he needs Hyunjin to make plans with Seungmin when it’s really for Minho.
“That’s risky. He doesn’t like plans changing,” Hyunjin says.
“I know, but I’m hoping since it'll be everything he loves he’ll be happy about it and give me points for planning it and that he’s still in love with me and wants to come with me,” Minho admits, a little desperately.
“Well, I’m rooting for you as long as you’ve figured out how to prioritize Seungmin and his needs.”
“I’ve already talked to my boss and Jisung about how things are going to be going forward,” Minho admits.
“Oh, he didn’t tell me that,” Hyunjin says, surprised.
“Well, I haven’t mentioned it yet. I’ve talked a lot before about how things will get better, I’m sorry it won’t happen again, and I’ll cut back, and a bunch of other things I didn’t realize were lies. So, I don’t just want to tell him, I mean, I will, but I want to show him first.”
“See, this is love. It doesn’t matter that you realized it late. It matters that you’re acknowledging your issues and are fixing them, taking accountability.” Hyunjin nods his head. “I’ll do you one better, I’ll pack for Seungmin while he’s at work so you can whisk him away and I know exactly what he’d want to bring.”
Minho could kiss Hyunjin for being so helpful. He won’t because these lips belong to Seungmin only, but it does make him want to push Jisung to apologize to Hyunjin. He really, really, really fucking thinks they could be good together.
Minho knows that might be a little much, so he won’t mention that, unless anyone says something slightly to signal it, because he won’t be able to stop himself from screaming madly about it.
But not his problem right now. He needs to get Seungmin back and then he can start his matchmaking and rekindling business, but not yet.
“Thank you.”
Seungmin comes out and Hyunjin is ready to go, so they make their way to the restaurant, walking since it’s not too far. Minho didn’t go with a fancy romantic place, one because Hyunjin was coming and two because he didn’t want to scare Seungmin off or make him think Minho was trying to get things back to normal without showing him he’s changed.
He did go for their favourite, one they’d end up at once a week, he’s not above using nostalgia to soften Seungmin.
They get their drinks, Minho and Seungmin already know what they want, but Hyunjin needs a little more time. Actually, more than a little, Seungmin eventually has to use the bathroom.
“Finally,” Hyunjin says. Minho looks at him confused. “I was waiting for him to get up so I can leave and I didn’t want to order something if I’m not staying.”
“You’re leaving?” Minho asks.
“Uh, yeah, don’t you want to have dinner alone with Seungmin?” Hyunjin asks, like Minho is an idiot.
“Of course, but we can work up to that,” Minho says. Hyunjin shakes his head.
“I’d be trying to speed run this if you expect to take him away this weekend. But I know he only invited me to prove a point and it’s been proven, so enjoy yourselves. Tell Seungmin an emergency came up,” Hyunjin smirks. “He’ll know I’m lying.”
Hyunjin is gone by the time Seungmin comes back.
“Where’s Hyunjin?” Seungmin asks.
“He said to tell you an emergency came up and he had to leave.”
Seungmin snorts and shakes his head.
“I’m sure it did.”
“I, uh, ordered so it shouldn’t be too long now,” Minho tells him. His palms begin to sweat as they sit across from each other. He’s nervous. He can’t remember the last time he was nervous around Seungmin, maybe when he asked Seungmin out or on their first date, but other than that Minho has been comfortable, excited to get to know or spend time with Seungmin.
“You’re being weird,” Seungmin says, taking a sip of his drink.
“I didn’t ask him to leave,” Minho says.
“I know you didn’t,” Seungmin replies and squints at him. “What’s up with you?”
Minho could laugh it off, could pretend he wasn’t feeling nervous and like he was going to throw up. But why?
“I’m nervous,” Minho admits as he wipes his hands on his pants.
“Of me?” Seungmin asks, surprised.
“Yeah, of you, of us, of not showing you I’m changing,” Minho says. “I don’t want to pressure you or have you do anything you don’t want to do, but I’m scared that you’ll only see me how I used to be.”
Seungmin nods, taking in what Minho has said.
“I know I should have spoken up before it got to be too much. But it’s so easy to rationalize things and make excuses that don’t feel like excuses when we were together and things were good. I don’t want you to stop hanging out or being friends with Jisung. I don’t want you slacking off at work or not going for promotions you want and growing into your career. I just wanted you to remember and think of me.”
Minho blinks away wetness from his eyes. He’s not going to cry and manipulate Seungmin, but with how softly and gently he’s speaking it makes Minho feel like shit because he made Seungmin feel like shit.
“It’s funny, or not really, but if you were in my head you’d know I never forgot you, never could forget you, that I thought of you all the time, but not the way you needed. Actions speak louder than words and promises and I hope you’ll let me continue showing you that I can be better.”
Seungmin stares at Minho for a few moments, Minho’s breath caught in his throat. Did he go too hard? Push when he didn’t mean to?
“Let’s just have a nice dinner and see where it goes.”
Minho doesn’t punch the air in celebration, but he wants to.
Their food comes and it’s as delicious as always and they have a nice time. Minho doesn’t talk much about work, but with not working as much and not hanging out with Jisung or Seungmin every free moment he has, he’s been picking up some hobbies.
He’s been reading and cooking more, he does allow Jisung to eat it, but he’s also been taking the time to think about what he wants out of life. Yes, he wants Seungmin by his side, and he’s in most of the plans, but if in the worst case scenario Seungmin doesn’t want to be there with him, he needs to be okay with that and move forward.
Seungmin talks about work and Hyunjin dragging him to a couple art exhibits.
“He needs a boyfriend,” Seungmin says carefully. “I can’t say that to him, but he does. Someone he can take around and treat like a princess.”
Minho might have an aneurysm because who the fuck do they know who is the biggest princess of them all? Is Seungmin baiting him? Does he think the same as Minho?
“He’ll find someone. He’s a great person, successful and attractive.” Seungmin raises his brow.
“Oh, you like Hyunjin that much?”
“Well, he did take it upon himself to leave us alone, so I’m extra appreciative today.”
Seungmin fails to fight off a smile.
“Good answer.”
Minho continues to bring Seungmin to work, and Seungmin seems to be more open to the possibility of getting back together. He doesn’t say it, but he touches Minho more, looks like he wants to lean in for a kiss before stopping himself a few times, and even invites Minho up for dinner on Thursday night.
“I think I should ask him about the trip tonight,” Minho says to Hyunjin while Seungmin’s in the kitchen.
“Yeah, but still tell him I’ll pack for him. I’m off tomorrow so it’s no trouble and he can do a little check when he gets home before you leave so he doesn’t feel out of sorts.”
“Do you think he might say no?”
“No. To be honest, I don’t know what he’s waiting for to say you can be together again. He was wondering why you didn’t ask him to do something this weekend, so he’ll be okay with it. He didn’t want to make plans with me in case you wanted to do something.”
“I already want to kiss him so bad. I can’t take you saying that.”
“I’m sure you’ll get there soon.”
Hyunjin eats with them and then goes to his room while they hang out in the living room.
“So, I don’t want to over step, but remember I was going to show you something before you ripped my heart out?”
“Minho!”
“I’m kidding, mostly. Or it was deserved,” Minho says. “Well, I had booked a cabin for us and I kept the reservation in hopes that we would still go. It was supposed to be my apology for the last couple weeks before the weekend that Jisung ruined, but then it became my apology for the months I took you for granted and while it’s still that, it’s also how I want to be moving forward. Not a fresh start or a new slate, but learning how to navigate my life without pushing you aside. Because I don’t want to do that, I never wanted to do that even though I did do it, but I’m stopping that. Not to come on too strong, but I don’t want you as just a part of my life, I want you in it with me,” Minho says and realizes he’s definitely coming on too strong. “If you want to.”
Seungmin thinks for a moment.
“I’ll go, but I don’t know if I’m ready to jump back in yet.”
Not the answer Minho wanted, but one he’s more than happy to take. It’s better than an outright no and it proves what Hyunjin said and what Minho thought that there was something holding Seungmin back, something Minho needs to say or do to make Seungmin feel comfortable again.
Minho really hopes he figures it out on this trip.
After that’s settled, Seungmin wants to start packing and getting ready. Minho tells him that he can relax, hat Hyunjin said he will pack for him tomorrow since he doesn’t work.
“Oh, okay,” Seungmin says, sitting back down.
“I was going to offer for you to pick what you wanted to do, but since I couldn’t really ask, I made a rough plan but if you’re not feeling something we can change it.” Fuck, why is Minho nervous again?
“I’m sure it’ll be fine, you know me well.”
Minho does. He fucking does and he’s going to show Seungmin just how well.
Minho thought he was pretty calm, but by lunch on Friday he’s freaking out. He’s been making sure that his reservations were confirmed and that he had groceries delivered to his house to bring up to the cabin, but he realizes he didn’t pack his own bag.
He’s not ruining this or being late. He puts down his sandwich and gets to work. He doesn’t move from his seat for three hours, even though he’s had to pee for the last two. It incentivizes him to work faster so he can finish early.
He has two hours left once he’s done everything he can. Technically, he should stay and wait for replies, but even then he wouldn’t be able to get much done before the weekend. He goes to Chan’s office and closes the door.
“I know you’ve been very accommodating with me and I hope you see that my output hasn’t gone down, but I’m going to need you to let me leave now.”
Chan looks up from the pile of papers he’s looking through.
“You gonna tell me why?”
Minho could push back, but he also knows Chan is only acting tough.
“I planned a weekend away to win my boyfriend back and I have everything ready. The reservations, the hiking trails planned out, groceries, and everything except my own stuff. I cannot be late picking him up because I don’t want to fuck anything up. This is completely on me, but I’m asking, no begging, that you let me leave early.”
Chan sighs.
“Go, but this can’t happen every week, you know.”
“I know, it won’t. Thank you.”
Minho rushes home. He has a shower and starts throwing his clothes in his bag. He texts Seungmin that he’s packing up the cooler and will be leaving shortly. He still has time, but he wants Seungmin to know that he’s not running behind for once.
He’s a few minutes late picking Seungmin up, but he doesn’t look upset as he sits on a bench with his briefcase. Seungmin smiles and runs to get in. If they were like they used to be, Minho would kiss Seungmin until he was breathless and shifting in the passenger seat. He can’t and clenches his fists around the steering wheel.
“I’m really excited. I’ve always wanted to go to a cabin,” Seungmin says.
“I know,” Minho replies. “Do you want me to tell you about the place and plan or do you want to be surprised?”
“Hmm,” Seungmin thinks. “Maybe a bit of both, but let’s get on the road before you tell me.”
“Whatever you want.”
Seungmin has a quick shower, checks the bag Hyunjin packed and then they’re driving down the highway within the next hour. Traffic sucks since it’s a Friday, but once they’re out of the city proper, it’s smooth sailing.
The place is three hours out, so halfway there Minho pulls off so they can grab something to eat and use the bathroom. They eat as Minho drives because he wants to get there as soon as possible.
“So, I want to be surprised by the cabin, but you should tell me what you have planned,” Seungmin says before taking a bite of his burger.
“I may have exaggerated a bit on the plan part. I wanted us to spend time together and to enjoy the cabin. So, tonight since I knew we’d have to stop to eat I have some things to make a quick and easy, but still nice charcuterie board and I got your favourite wine and beer so you can choose.”
“Getting me drunk, huh?” Seungmin jokes.
“No, and there are two rooms. I’m not trying anything, so don’t worry about that.”
“If you say so, and after we have our nice evening and sleep in separate beds, what’s next?”
“Well, I’d wake up early to make you breakfast and then once we were ready for the day there’s a hiking trail, or more than one. I was thinking we do the easy, leisurely trail since we worked all week and I want this to be relaxing and not a marathon, but we can do the more difficult one, if you want.”
“Easy’s good for me,” Seungmin says.
“And then there’s a cute diner that we could have lunch at and we can walk around the little town for a bit and then go back to the cabin and have a little midday nap. And this I was leaving up to you. I made reservations at a nice restaurant or I could cook for you and we stay in.”
“Sounds good, we can play it by ear,” There’s something in Seungmin’s tone that Minho pretends not to hear. He doesn’t know if it’s his delusions or what Seungmin actually means, but whatever it is, it has to be spelled out for him and not just a seductive tone that makes Minho crazy so he knows he can make a move.
Minho carefully navigates the narrow driveway up to the cabin. The keys are in the mailbox and they let themselves in.
Minho watches Seungmin take in the cozy cabin, it wasn’t the most modern or expensive, but it was the one that looked quaint, actually like a cabin, in the woods. Not too in the woods, this isn’t a horror movie, but enough to give them privacy.
It’s all hardwood and comfy albeit clashing couches, and a fireplace.
“Oh, this is so cute,” Seungmin says as he takes a look around. “Oh, a fireplace!”
“Yeah, that was also part of tonight, but I didn’t want to ruin the cabin,” Minho says. “There’s also an outdoor fire pit, but it might be a little too cold to have one there and there’s a hot tub,” Minho explains as he drops their stuff off inside and turns back to grab the cooler he filled.
“I wondered why Hyunjin packed me a swimsuit,” Seungmin says, continuing their conversation and then chuckles. “If you can even call it that. He picked the most ridiculous one, you remember the one you bought me for when we went to that all inclusive as a semi joke? But I wouldn’t wear it in public?”
Oh, Minho remembers. Ridiculous it may seem to Seungmin, a little blue and white speedo that shows everything, especially since he was more a t-shirt and shorts kind of guy, especially with the sun beating down on them, but also because he couldn’t see how hot he was in it. It was probably a good thing Seungmin never wore it on their trip, they’d never make it out of their room, which was hard enough as is, and Minho would have to cover the eyes of anyone who would look at Seungmin a little too long or appreciatively.
“I remember,” Minho says. That’s all he says because he is not about to wax poetic on just how he remembers. Seungmin is smirking so Minho thinks he knows.
“We should put our stuff in our rooms and I’ll start getting the snacks ready.”
“We can wait to do that. I’ll help with the charcuterie board,” Seungmin says and takes off his jacket and moves into the kitchen. “Oh, it even has a double oven!”
For someone who barely cooks and never bakes Seungmin loves double ovens, it’s actually one of the reasons he got this place even if they won’t be using it.
They make the charcuterie board together, Seungmin cutting and placing the cheese albeit eating more than he adds while Minho rolls the meats, adds the grapes and strawberries, jam and olives and nuts. Minho cuts some French bread and puts some crackers on the plate.
“Let’s go into the living room and start that fire,” Minho says. He puts the board down. “Did you want wine or beer?”
“Wine, this is too fancy for beer.”
Minho goes and grabs a glass for each of them. He pours lightly, not wanting either of them to get drunk. He wants Seungmin to be somewhat lulled by the trip and being here with Minho to have him say he wants to be together again, but he doesn’t want it to be blamed on alcohol.
They eat and chat and Minho does throw out that he’s taking a step back at work.
“I thought you wanted the promotion?” Seungmin asks.
“I think I wanted it, have always wanted them, because it’s what I’m supposed to do. You get a job, you work hard, you want more money, more authority, more respect, but it comes at a cost.”
“Don’t do this for me,” Seungmin cautions.
“Well, I am doing it for you, but also so I can have a life, it’s just that I want one with you.”
Seungmin stares at him and nods his head slowly, acceptingly.
“Okay.”
Okay? What the fuck does okay mean? Minho would love it if Seungmin could just be a little more detailed, give Minho a tiny bit more to go on. He thinks he’s doing well, but he would really like some approval, maybe a grading system, something, anything to tell him how he’s doing out here.
“Should we try out the hot tub?”
Oh, so Seungmin wants to kill him, does he?
“Uh, yeah, if you’re up for it,”
“I’m up for it.”
Minho isn’t about to say no. He goes outside to take the cover off and start it up, making sure everything is working, before quickly grabbing his trunks from his bag and changing in the bathroom.
“You almost ready?” Minho asks, as he passes Seungmin’s door.
“Yeah, I’ll be right out. You go and I’ll meet you there.”
“Okay. It’s just around the back of the cabin.”
Minho grabs two glasses of wine, filling it with just a touch since the hot tub will have them wasted in no time if they have any more.
He settles in and groans at how nice the hot water is, the jet's pulse hitting him right where he needs it, to loosen his back up from sitting at a desk all week.
Seungmin comes around the corner, wrapped in his towel and grinning. He looks so fucking perfect and Minho just wants to kiss him and touch him and be allowed to love him.
“Is it nice?” Seungmin asks, as he takes off his towel, setting it on the side of the hot tub where it won’t get wet.
Minho just stares.
Seungmin is wearing the little bathing suit. The one that shows everything. And Minho means everything. He assumed Seungmin saw the little one and packed one of his other swim trunks.
“You look so good,” Minho says. He can’t seem to keep the desire out of his voice, he doesn’t think he could even if he had a gun to his head. The low lamplights are bright enough that Minho sees Seungmin blush prettily.
“Well, there isn’t any sun and there’s only us here. I thought, "why not?””
Why not? Why not?! Maybe because he’s making Minho go insane when he can’t do anything about it because he doesn’t know what they are or if they’re back together. This is giving Minho some mixed signals.
Or maybe it isn’t because Seungmin climbs in and sits right next to Minho, his thigh sliding across Minho’s.
“What’s happening?” Minho asks, pathetically. Seungmin smiles and nudges Minho’s shoulder.
“I heard some of your conversation with Hyunjin the other day,” Seungmin says. Minho tries to think back, when Hyunjin offered to help?
“Oh?”
“Yeah, the part where you said you’ve talked to your boss and Jisung about how you want things to be going forward?”
Oh. Yeah.
“And I thought you would tell me at dinner, then on the car ride up, and you did mention how you’re taking a step back at work, but you didn’t go into detail or bring up Jisung. You still haven’t. And I know you mean what you say when you say it and then life gets in the way and you have stuff you need to do so I don’t expect this treatment forever, but something very close.”
“Seungmin, expect it, it’s the bare minimum, especially when you’re always making time for me and rearranging your schedule to help me. I’m not saying that every so often I won’t have to stay late or I won’t have to help Jisung, but I don’t want to go back to giving myself to everyone and leaving nothing for you. Plus, when I’m working late, I don’t want to be there. I want to be with you. And definitely not when I’m helping a sick Jisung when all I wanted that weekend, all I really want any weekend, is to cuddle with you in bed.”
“I think I’m ready to except it,” Seungmin says. It has Minho’s heart in his throat. It has his hands moving to cup Seungmin’s cheeks.
“Really? Like you want to get back together?” Minho asks hopefully.
“Yeah, and did you ever really let us be apart?”
“We were apart enough and I never want it to happen again, because I love you and want to stay with you forever.”
“And cuddle every weekend?” Seungmin asks with a grin.
“Cuddle every day and live together,” Minho admits. Seungmin’s eyebrows shoot up, head jerking back a bit and Minho’s hands fall.
“Oh, and what about Hyunjin and Jisung?”
“What about them? They can figure out their lives while we figure out ours.”
“Yeah, but we should probably figure out something else first,” Seungmin says grinning and pulls his hand from the water, dropping his speedo in front of Minho with a splat. “And then cuddle all weekend.”
Minho kisses Seungmin like a man possessed. It’s been too long and as hopeful as he’s been he’s still been worried, but now that Seungmin’s lips are back on his, and he’s naked which is a bonus, and all is right in the world he can feel the relief moving through his body as arousal centres in his gut.
They’re breathless when Minho pulls away.
“Guess I won't need that second room,” Minho says, leaning in for another kiss.
“I already put your bag in our room.”