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Nightmares suck. Especially when you had them almost every night and woke up sweaty and screaming.
That's what happened the first Friday of Summer Break. Peter had been living at the tower for almost a year, since May had passed away from an illness. Her, Peter and Mr. Stark had chosen for him to move in with Tony and the Avengers as he didn't have another family. It was a bit awkward at first because he was used to working with them primarily for missions, except for Tony because of the Lab days and internship. But after a few months he was laughing with them at dinners and spending time with them when he didn't have school or Decathlon practices. Bruce and Tony would do labs, Natasha was training with him, Steve and Sam invited him on their runs, Thor would tell him stories about him and his brother when he visited, Clint would play video games with him and Bucky would bake cookies. They were a family, and Peter loved his family.
But even though he loved them he didn't tell them about the nightmares. Every night he would imagine the building, the ferry, Tony taking his suit or the Avengers kicking him out and having nowhere to go. He would picture them calling him weak, pretending he didn’t exist. The worst one though, was the one where they all died and joined his parents, uncle and aunt. The ones where they went on a mission and Peter killed them all. That was what he saw tonight.
That was why he was awake at 4:37 AM hyperventilating in his bed trying to calm down so he could tell FRIDAY he was fine before she notified the others.
Right on cue FRIDAY spoke, “Peter you seem to be distressed again, should I notify the boss or the others?”
“N-no FRIDAY, I’m-I’m okay,” he says before forcing himself up.
“Very well,” she responds hesitantly, same as always. Peter sighs and glances back at the bed, not thinking it's worth it to go back to sleep, but he also didn't want to stay here.
He throws on a sweater, and leaves his room heading toward the kitchen figuring he might as well get something to drink. His hands are still shaking as he grabs water.
“Peter?” A voice calls out from the entrance and Peter jumps, dropping the glass.
“Shit,” he says, looking down at the pieces.
“Jesus,” he looks up at the voice, different from the one that called his name.
Sam and Bucky stand in the entrance to the kitchen. No one was ever awake this early, what time was it-the clock said 5:27, he hadn’t realized how much time he lingered in his room.
“Are you okay kid?” Sam asks, “I didn’t mean to startle you, I just didn’t expect you to be awake.”
Bucky steps closer and motions for Peter to leave the glass, grabbing cleaning supplies.
“I’m good,” Peter says, “I wasn't expecting anyone to be awake either.”
Bucky throws out the glass and leans against the counter across from the island where Peter stands, “why were you awake?”
“I went to bed way too early last night,” Peter lies, he went to bed around 1:00 AM after staying up doing homework, “what about you two?”
“We were going to make breakfast for everyone. They’ll be up in about an hour. Want to join us?” Sam asks, pulling out pancake ingredients.
“Um-I should probably go back to my room but thanks.” he starts to walk away but Bucky grabs his wrist, pushing himself off the counter at record speed.
“No,” he says, “you're shaking.”
Sam moves a bit closer, hesitation on his face, conflicted between letting Peter go or helping him. He had never seen Peter anything but the happy boy, but he also knew things didn’t show.”
Peter tried to loosen Bucky's grip but failed, he was starting to panic. Would they kick him out? If he stayed he wouldn’t be able to keep this a secret. He needed to- oh god the building was falling again, smoke, voices, a voice…
“Breath,” a voice was saying, “in and out.”
He followed the voice slowly, opening the eyes he didn’t know he had closed. Sam was staring at him, hesitation gone and turned into pure concern.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry I-I, I’m really sorry,” he blurted out realizing he had had a panic attack in front of Sam and Bucky.”
“Kid it’s okay,” Bucky said moving into Peter’s vision, “I should have let you go when you started to panic.”
Sam just stared at Peter another second before standing up and offering a hand, “why don’t we make you some hot cocoa before we start breakfast? You can watch a movie while we cook.”
Peter nods knowing he won’t be going back to his room anytime soon. So he goes to sit on the couch while they begin to make the cocoa.
———-
Later when everyone else comes down for breakfast Peter is happily watching Lilo and Stitch with Bucky while Sam finishes the pancakes. Both had decided to talk to Tony as Nat, as they were the closest with Peter, before confronting him about the night before. But for now they just wanted a nice breakfast. And it was.
“I swear to god Clint if you throw one more croissant,” Tony started as Clint lifted his hand, a croissant aimed toward Sam.
“Dont swear Tony,” Clint retorted, throwing the croissant anyways, “Steve doesn't like that kind of language.”
The table laughed as Clint sat back in his chair and redirected the conversation after seeing Tony's glare, “So Peter, how are you doing?” he asked the kid across from him, “Summer break right? Nothing to do.”
Sam and Bucky both stiffened a bit as Peter smiled and nodded, “Yeah!! I'm excited to work in the lab and train a bit more.”
“And sleep baby spider,” Nat nudged him from his left and Bruce nodded from his other side, “don't stay up working like Tony does.”
“Of course not!” Peter glanced at Bucky and Sam, hoping they wouldn't rat him out. Luckily for him they didn't and the conversation moved on. Stupidly Peter thought he was in the clear, even though a small part of him knew that was not the case.
———-
“Hey Tony,” Sam grabbed Tony's shoulder after breakfast was over, Bucky had gone to get Nat.
“What's up,” Tony raised his eyebrows, “you good?”
“It's Peter,” Sam said and quickly clarified when Tony's eyes widened, “he's okay, you just saw him at breakfast, but me and Bucky need to talk to you about something. He grabbed Nat and we were going to go down to your lab so we could talk in private.”
“Okay,” Tony quickly agreed, “let's go.”
As they walked down to the lab, meeting Bucky and Nat by the elevator, Sam realized how scared they were, which either meant they knew nothing or their suspicions were about to be confirmed.
“What is it?” Tony asked the second the doors closed, taking a seat next to Natasha on the couch, "what's going on with Peter."
“Tony breath,” Sam insists, “Peter is okay, but me and Bucky got up early to make breakfast this morning and he was already up, he dropped a glass and was shaking pretty bad.”
“Did he get injured?” Natasha cut in but Bucky quickly reassured her and Tony, ‘he's okay, just had a pretty bad panic attack.”
“We think he might be having nightmares and linked panic attacks,” Sam decided to put it bluntly, “we didn't want to push him too far but I've never seen him like that, and I didn't want to confront you both in front of him.”
“Because of how he might react, or if we already knew,” Tony finishes, “I get it, some of the Avengers, the ones from New York, did the same with my panic attacks, they went to Rhodes.”
“Is this normal?” Bucky asked, “I mean obviously not, but did you know?”
“Ive suspected somethings up,” Nat admitted, “but no idea how far.”
“Hes had irregular sleep patterns according to FRIDAY but I wasn't notified of anything else so I assumed it was school,” Tony admits putting his head in his hands. How could he have missed this, why didn't he talk to Peter
Sam knows what he's thinking, “look now we know for sure, and we need a plan.”
“Mediciation helped me, anxiety and sleep,” Bucky suggests, “Bruce may be able to edit the medicine for his metabolism, which isn't far off mine,”
“It might help to make it so FRIDAY can’t stop Peter from calling someone, even if it's just you or me,” Nat tells Tony which he quickly agrees to.
“Hes probably using the ten minute response,” Tony says, and FRIDAY answers from the ceiling
“Peter has been in distress most nights during the past year however the nightmares and panic have become more frequent and his responses are taking closer to ten minutes. I have logged these nights and sent them to both you and Ms. Romanov,” FRIDAY sounds almost happy that she can finally tell people her concerns, and no one would be surprised if Peter managed to make her feel emotion.
“I trust you and Nat can talk to Peter and Bruce,” Bucky asks.
“Yeah, of course,” Tony says, “thanks for letting us know.”
“Happy to help,” Sam says, getting up to go, “and if you ever need a therapist for Pete let me know, I or someone I know can help.”
“I will definitely mention it to him at some point,” Tony says, “we'll update you both.”
When the two men finally leave Nat turns to Tony, “no better time than the present, FRIDAY call down Peter.”
“He’ll be okay Tony,” Nat stands up to put a hand on his shoulder, “we know, we can help him. Baby Spier wont be alone in this”
They both sit back on the couch, waiting for the kid, their kid(even if not together) to come down. Both hope they aren't too late to help.
———-
Peter is a bit surprised when Tony calls him down to the lab, but he goes anyway. It's probably a random suit update. What he isn't expecting is Tony and Mama Spider waiting for him on the couch. He takes a minute to sit down across from them wondering what this is about, then it hits him.
“Sam and Bucky went to you,” he states, simple, unemotional. But inside he feels betrayed, and scared. Scared that the nightmares were finally going to become real.
“Yeah,” Tony admits, “but they were worried so don't be-”
“They didn't need to be,” Peter struggles to keep his voice down as he cuts Tony off, “it was nothing,” he insists, “I'll be fine.”
“Breaking a glass, shaking and panicking aren't nothing,” Natasha steps in, deciding to be completely honest with Peter, needing the teen to listen, “it may be summer but you still need sleep. And what if you get set off in battle,” Peter flinches.
“Im dealing with it-” he needs to get them to back down, what if they…
“Not alone,” Tony interrupts, “Roo, we love you. A lot more than you know. We want to help.”
Peter starts to break, last night was so bad, and he's so tired but so scared to sleep. He can’t deal with this, he doesn't want to. But what if he's telling the truth?
“How,” his voice cracks, his brain fighting between getting the help and protecting himself from losing everything.
“Mediciation, Bruce can adjust Bucky's for you," Nat starts and motions to Tony.
“And I can switch FRIDAY so one of us knows when you need us, be night or day,” Natasha gets up and kneels in front of Peter gently grabbing his hands, “Peter you are ours, which means we protect you, even from yourself.
“You aren't mad,” Peter slowly asks looking at her, “if you help me then…”
“Its worth it, an hour of sleep to help you, or a night staying up watching a movie and any appointments you may need,” Nat assures and moves to sit next to her spider baby, one hand in his hair.
“We love you kid,” Tony says, joining them on Peter's other side, “we don't want you hurt.”
“I can try medicine,” he hesitates, “and if you want to change FRIDAYS settings. But nothing else?” he stiffens a bit as he waits but relaxes when both nod.
“Whatever helps,” Nat says, “now why don't we go set up a movie? Tony will join us after talking to Bruce and changing FRIDAYS settings.”
“Okay,” Peter gets up after Natasha and follows, but not before Tony pulls him into a hug. And if he takes a picture of Peter snuggling with Nat on the couch later, who needs to know? Except of course the assassin the photo gets sent to.
———-
The next few days go fairly well. Peter gets a new nighttime medication and goes a few nights semi-peacefully, or at least not waking up as panicked as the night Bucky and Sam caught him. But the fifth night the nightmares return.
Voices swirl around him, Aunt May and Ben blaming him for his parents, aunts and uncles deaths, his suit disappearing, Nat shoving him down, revoking his access to the tower and dumping him outside. He tries to swing away but something cuts his line and all he can see is the lights and all he can hear is screams. His screams, his bedroom lights. He's awake. He's screaming. He's scared.
The door quickly opens and Tony rushes into the room, slowing a bit before reaching Peter.
“Kid,” TOny whispers approaching the bed, “Pete it's me.”
“T’ny,” Peter hiccups and reaches out, not caring if he looks childish. His mentor/father figure quickly gets onto the bed and pulls Peter in close, whispering reassurances as he rubs the kids back, calming him down.
“Want to talk about it?” he asks when Peter calms down.
“They said it was my fault,” Peter mumbles into his shirt, not willing to look up yet, but Tony doesn't care.
“Who?”
“May and Ben,” he lets out a sob as he adds, “and you took my suit again and Nat kicked me out of the tower. I was falling again,” he cries and Tony can barely hear the next words, “I don't want to go…please don't kick me out.”
“We would never,” Tony shifts a bit, laying the kid down against his side, letting him see the kid's face. He reaches out to wipe away the tears, “I will always be here. Nat will always be here. You have us wrapped around your finger kid, we won't leave you.”
“Promise?” Peter's voice almost makes Tony cry.
“Promise,” Tony waits until he thinks Peter is asleep and gets up to leave, but a hand grabbing his sweater wrist quickly stops him.
“Stay…” Peter asks, hoping the man's presence will help him sleep.
“Course,” Tony responds, laying next to Peter, “sleep Peter, ill be here.”
Peter quickly falls asleep and Nat finds the two of them in the morning when she goes to get Peter for breakfast, she has FRIDAY take a picture before she wakes them up. Might as well get some revenge for the photo he took, even if she really didn't mind.
And yes, she did send Sam and Bucky the photo, because she promised updates.
———-
For a while it did appear to get better. When Peter was scared to sleep he would go out to the common room and find somebody who was awake. The only problem with this is he stayed up to much to be able to get sleep, even with the nightmares. So eveutually he crashed, and woke up screaming as Tony tossed him off a bridge. Only Tony was in front of him. He wasn’t dreaming, or was he…. He quickly backed up against the wall and when Tony stopped approaching him he stopped moving.
“Peter it’s me,” Tony said slowly, “Tony. I’m here to help you, I promise.”
“No, no, no-“ Peter scurried up the wall and bolted for the door. He couldn’t see Tony. He needed to escape.
He made it to the living room before he realized he didn’t know where he was going. So he shuffled to the corner and waited. Tony didn’t appeared, but Nat and Bucky did.
“Peter?” Bucky asked, moving slowly to the corner, “Peter it’s me, Bucky.”
Nat moved to the door, “Peter it’s just us, breath.”
Bucky started doing exaggerated breathing, and Peter followed not realizing how frantic his breaths had been. Eventually he calmed down and went down the wall, sitting in the corner. Bucky kneeled in front of him and when Peter didn’t move grabbed him and put him on the couch next to Natasha. She reached out her arm and he took as invitation to nestle into her side.
“I saw Tony…” he whispered, but the shoulder and assassins still heard, “I thought it was real.”
“I’m sorry honey,” Nat said, “that sounds really hard.”
“But you know he would never hurt you right?” Bucky asked.
“Now I do,” Peter hesitates, “I think I do.”
They sat for a few minutes before Natasha decided to take a shot, “do you want to talk to Sam?” she asked.
“Will it help?” Peter asks.
“It can’t hurt,” Bucky replies.
He nods and both of them smile, knowing that this is progress.
He soon falls asleep and Natasha grabs a blanket and lays it over him.
“The medication isn’t working,” she looks at Bucky and he sees the concern people would only see if they knew her.
“He also is too scared to sleep,” he reasons, “Sam will help him.”
“I hope he does,” Natasha moves to lay down, shifting Peter carefully. After they both fall asleep Bucky goes back to Toby, knowing that the mama will always protect her baby.
———-
Peter does go to therapy. And to his surprise it helps. With a new sleep schedule the medication also starts to kick in since his metabolism and healing isn’t wonky.
“I’m proud of you kid,” Tony says when Peter does go to him on night, “May would be too.”
Peter cries at that, “why would she be? Why are you? I didn’t listen, I waited to get help.”
“But you got help eventually, and you came to me tonight,” Tony reasons before he reached to grab something from the bedside table. He pulls out a little penguin stiff animal and hands it to Peter.
“What’s this?” Peter asks looking it over. It a grey penguin that has a little rainbow hat.
“It’s a microwavable penguin-“
“Microwave him?!” Peter holds the penguin close, “I forbid you to microwave pancake.”
“You microwave it to get it warm and smelling like lavender,” Tony laughs as Peter relaxes, “Sam suggested it, it helps people sleep.”
“Oh,” Peter stares at him, “can I go microwave him now?”
Tony nods and they walk to the kitchen together, watching as Pancake spins around.
“I love you kid,” Tony says when they head back to bed, “I’ll always be here.”
“Love you too dad,” Peter mumbles as he falls asleep, “thank you.”
Tony almost cries but he kisses Pe-his son, before he falls asleep too.
———-
A few days later the Avengers have a movie night and Peter joins. He falls asleep between Tony and Nat halfway through the movie while holding Pancake.
The Avengers all smile down at their youngest member, happy to see him finally peaceful. Sure he would still have nightmares, but not as often and now he went to people.
And in the end that was all they cared about, that he went to them, that he accepted help, that they were able to make him smile.
Because when Peter smiled, when Peter was happy, his family followed.