Chapter Text
The silence felt wrong.
The issue was, it wasn't really silent. Jawhn could hear the leaves rustling in the midnight wind, the crickets trilling outside of his tent, the distant sound of chatter coming from the people keeping lookout on the walls. It was a quiet night, definitely, but far from silent. He didn't remember the last time he experienced actual silence.
Even then, if anything, it should've been comforting. They were back at Lazarus, in safety behind the steady walls that were watched at all times. They finally made it home. Both Zora and he got to the camp in one piece. Damaged and beyond tired, but still holding up. Still together.
Yet, he felt strange.
Despite all the noise around him, it was too… quiet and calm. No zombies growling outside the campsite, no limping footsteps slowly dragging on the dirt roads or concrete floors near their bivouac. No shuffling of fabric next to him as he forcefully kept his eyes open, keeping watch after Zora passed out from exhaustion.
No steady breath of his companion of the last few weeks.
Jawhn pressed his eyes closed once again, turning to the other side for the millionth time this night, praying for the exhaustion to finally pull him under. The sound of his sleeping bag rustling felt somehow wrong as well, too loud, too unnatural. He groaned as the bone-deep ache made itself known once more, spreading through his body.
He wasn't even sure how long he's been lying there, turning over and over while sleep avoided him like a plague. He didn't have problem almost falling asleep the moment they were safely behind the camp's walls earlier tonight. He’d love to know what changed between now and then.
It was already late, the sun long gone below the horizon, the darkness swallowing everything in it's way, when they saw the gates of Lazarus. Jawhn let out a heavy sigh, relief washing all over him at the familiar sight. If his body wasn't working on back up fumes, he would've probably even smiled when he was finally face to face with people he was so desperate to come back to after everything that happened in Paradise city.
They were ushered inside, all of their baggage immediately taken away to ease their exhausted bodies. In no time, they were sat near the fire pit, still glowing lightly from the fire all the Lazarus residents sat around that evening, with two bowls of boiling hot soup and at least five people buzzing around them.
Jawhn's gaze was locked on Zora while someone, not quite sure who, tended to her wounds, cleaning and re-bandaging them carefully one by one. He watched as his friend tried to stay fully aware, assessing everything around her like it was just another threat, but he didn’t miss how her eyelids fell every few seconds, her eyes unfocused at more than one occasion. The exhaustion loomed over her the same way it did over him.
And yet, here he was now, who-knows-how-long later, still awake and still absolutely exhausted. He couldn't wrap his head around it, the way his body was pleading with him to rest but wouldn't let him at the same time.
A long tired sigh escaped his lips as he sat up, pressing heels of his hands into his eyes, rubbing away the stinging pain. Before he could even think about it, he was already pulling a sweater over his head and climbing out of his tent into the night, the chilly wind sending a shiver through his whole body. The moon's pale light lit up everything just enough so he didn't trip over any pegs, ropes or other things lying between the tents.
He only stopped walking when he stood at the very edge of the sleeping area. His eyes landed on Zora's boots, neatly put right in front of the entrance to her tent. Just a quick look, he told himself as he reached towards the zipper on the flap, just to make sure she's alright.
He was about as surprised to see her sitting upright and fully awake as she was seeing him standing on her doorstep.
Zora stared at him, an unreadable expression on her face. Neither of them spoke, not even when Zora moved slightly to the side, wincing when she put weight on her injured arm. It was a silent invitation. Jawhn hesitated for just a second before taking off his shoes and climbing in her tent. Zora unzipped her sleeping bag, turning it into a blanket, and handed him one of the corners when he settled in place.
They didn't need words for either of them to recognize that both of them needed this just as much as the other. After all the nights they spent side by side out there, worried that each and every sound could be the last they heard, the sudden safety felt threatening in a way neither of them were able to explain or understand. Instead of trying to grasp the concept of safety being something wrong and alarming, they sought the one thing that was constant throughout the past nights.
Just this one night.
Jawhn took off his sweater again, carefully folding it up and placing it under his head as he lay down on his back, his face turning towards Zora on instinct. His friend, already facing away from him, was curled in on herself. The proximity of the two of them was enough for her racing mind to slow down and her body to loosen up, her breath steadying just moments after.
As Jawhn let himself finally fully relax, the exhaustion made itself overwhelmingly present once more, taking over his body like it had always belonged to it in the first place. Listening to the even breathing right next to him, Jawhn closed his eyes and let the sleep finally drag him under, the world around him quietly disappearing into nothingness for the rest of the night.
And if this became a tradition as they tried to adapt to the new, safer life, neither of them acknowledged it out loud.