Work Text:
GROUP CHAT: “F1 (don’t leak)”
Lando: GUYS 🚨 IMPORTANT HISTORICAL EVENT 🚨 HAPPY GABICO DAY 5 + 27 🔥❤️❤️
[attachment: heavily edited romantic movie-poster style image of Nico and Gabi with dramatic lighting, hearts exploding, #5 + #27 neon text, sparkles and glitch effects]
Oscar: why does this look like it took someone three hours to make
George: Can we please explain what “Gabico” is before this spreads any further?
This is an official F1 drivers group chat, not your personal meme account Lando.
Some of us are trying to maintain a professional environment here.
Max: George you sound like HR again, relax
George: Someone has to.
Alex: 😭😭😭 the editing quality is actually criminal
Franco: I HAVE BEEN PREPARED FOR THIS MOMENT MY WHOLE LIFE [attachment: slowed fancam of Nico and Gabi holding each other’s helmet covered heads in parc fermé with romantic reverb audio]
Liam: this is actually insane
Isack: the color grading is too good, who made this???
Fernando: what is gabico why is there music playing
Nico: stop posting edits of me
Lance: what does gabico mean
Esteban: I’m just here trying to understand why this group chat exists
Lando: okay boomer translation: Gabico = Gabi + Nico 5 + 27 = their car numbers today is their official international celebration day
George: This is not an international celebration.
This is two drivers doing their jobs and this kind of nonsense does not belong in the official F1 drivers group chat.
Max: You are actually the fun police, it’s impressive at this point
George: And you are the reason we need one.
Franco: GEORGE BE SO SERIOUS RIGHT NOW have you seen the towel interview?? Gabi looking all shy while Nico stood there basically naked
Alex: or the cooling vest one where Nico was full on catcalling him??
Liam: don’t forget the arm-in-arm paddock walks like they’re on a date and the Hyatt ad where they were way too comfortable pretending to be sugar daddy and sugar baby
Oscar: the helmet holding compilation is now 7 minutes and 40 seconds long and don´t forget the Carbonara incident
Lando: 7:52 actually, I just updated it
Franco: 📌 quick education thread for the clueless:
- Nico catcalling Gabi when he was topless in the cooling vest (caught on camera)
- Gabi wearing Nico’s #27 hat for three days straight
- Nico slapping Gabi’s ass (repeatetly)
- Gabi calling Nico “papi” MULTIPLE times in that one interview
- The arm-in-arm paddock walks + Hyatt ad vibes
- The carbonara kitchen moment that lives rent free in everyone’s head
Fernando: I looked up gabico [attachment: screenshot of google results flooded with Gabico edits, NSFW fanart, and multiple AO3 fanfiction links] why is there so much… art of them I clicked one and immediately closed it this was a mistake
Isack: FERNANDO NO 😭😭😭 YOU WENT TOO FAR
Charles: I saw the papi clip. That was definitely not accidental.
Liam: he said it so smooth too, twice
Gabi: GUYS 😭😭😭😭 why is my phone exploding what the hell did I miss
Lando: HAPPY GABICO DAY KING 👑❤️
Gabi: oh it’s that day 😌
George: Gabi, for documentation purposes, can you please clarify the exact nature of your relationship with Nico?
Gabi: we are friends
Lando: sure
Franco: of course you are 😏
Alex: just friends, totally normal friends
Liam: friends with benefits? be honest
Oscar: very believable
Gabi: we are friends and sometimes I call him papi when he’s being annoying 😇
Lando: NO WAY YOU JUST SAID IT AGAIN IN THE MAIN CHAT
Alex: we are so back
Franco: THIS IS CANON
Oscar: 80% chance this escalates even more today
Lando: I might start calling you papi too osc, what do you think about that?
Oscar: WHAT? absolutely not
Lando: too late, already testing it out papi 😉
Oscar: I’m muting you specifically
Liam: the tension in this chat is insane
Max: this whole group is a disaster
Nico: you are all insufferable I’m muting this
Gabi: relax papi 😘 see you later
Lando: HE SAID SEE YOU LATER PAPI IN THE MAIN CHAT THIS IS OFFICIALLY CANON
Franco: bets open how long until they go fully public?
Alex: I give it three races max
Liam: I say before summer break
Isack: I’m saying next race weekend
George: I am formally requesting this entire conversation be deleted from the group chat history immediately
Max: fascinating how allergic you are to fun
George: AND YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO PROFESSIONALISM MAX. WE HAD A VERY PUBLIC DISCUSSION ABOUT THAT THANKS TO YOU
Max: and I still won that argument
Charles: I’m just going to mute and pretend none of this happened
Lewis: I still don’t fully understand but I support… whatever this is
Lance: same, I guess
Lando: best Gabico Day ever someone send more edits
Oscar: I’m out
Lando: wait come back papi
Oscar: stop it
PRIVATE CHAT: Nico & Gabi
Gabi: you alive papi? 😇
Nico: barely
Gabi: you started it
Nico: I did not start anything
Gabi: you keep slapping my ass in front of cameras
Nico: these are motivational taps
Gabi: on my dignity?
Nico: on your focus
Gabi: same thing
Nico: are you done
Gabi: no but I can be later 😌
Nico: good I am picking you up in 40min
Gabi: yes papi 😘
Nico: stop saying that in public
Gabi: no promises
Nico: expected