Work Text:
You lived the best life that you could,
But you still ended up damned.
You dream about going Up There,
But that didn’t go as planned.
Pentagram City is awful!
Survival’s a daily war!
Hoping for something better?
We’ve got what you’re looking for!
Hazbin Hotel!
Hazbin Hotel!
Bad circumstances?
Find second chances
Right here in Hell!
You’ve been hunted and drugged and bled?
You’re scared that you’ll end up double-dead?
You’ve got a prayer if
You take sanctuary –
Hazbin Hotel!
Don’t mind the big hole in that wall.
It keeps getting blown apart.
Most of the hotel is stable;
Well, at least the building part.
We provide a free room and meals
While you work to self-improve!
We’re happy to offer guidance.
There’s counsellors to talk to.
Hazbin Hotel!
Hazbin Hotel!
Where all the damned
Can be lent a hand
And a safe place to dwell!
Out in Hell, you might end up cooked,
Or with your soul stuck in a book;
An angel might smite you;
Anyone could fight you;
Why take the chance? (Why take the chance?)
Why take the chance? (Why take the chance?)
Right now, you’re stressed –
Soon you’ll be Heaven-blessed
So come on, let’s dance! (Come on, let’s dance-dance-dance-)
We’ll help you to confront your sins
And your new afterlife begins!
You’ll be unfettered
And you’ll feel better;
Hazbin Hotel!
The psychology
And methodology
Could still use some work.
Please don’t go berserk.
We’re doing our best
For every guest.
By the way, we have a bar! (Husk: "Yeah.")
Trust falls every day;
Moral skits and plays;
There’s art therapy
To find clarity
In expressing yourself;
And check our bookshelf
For feel-good stories and films.
Hazbin Hotel! (Hazbin Hotel!)
It’s totally free! (There are no fees!)
Climb up the hill
To where it’s been rebuilt;
KeeKee is the keys! (KeeKee is the keys!)
We find the good inside the damned!
We’ve got a jazzy cockroach band!
Turn your attention
To seeking redemption:
Hazbin Hotel!
Sir Pentious proved it,
So let’s groove to it –
Hazbin Hotel!
Alastor’s shifty;
Beware of Niffty;
Charlie’s the founder
And she’s still around here
But Vaggi’s now in charge –
Did I mention we don’t charge?
Hazbin Hotel!