Work Text:
It's obvious to me how pointless this mantra is as I step inside Torrance SDN building: Don't be nervous. It's your first day, you're allowed to not know what to expect. Don't. Be. Nervous.
Because my heart is beating way too fast for the message to get through.
I know where to go from the front lobby, but that doesn't stop the wobble in my steps.
Thankfully, and very luckily, the elevator is empty when I get on, so I take a second to actually breathe. I repeat the useless mantra, Don't be nervous. Someone's gonna show the ropes, and you'll be fine. Just dispatch the heroes, and you'll be fine.
"You'll been fine," I say aloud. The elevator doors ding open. Here we go.
- - - - - -
Immediately, I sense the restlessness of the entire floor, even more so after someone nearly bulldozes over me after taking my first step out of the elevator. Busy day, I think. I can work with this.
I pace my steps carefully as I go down the walkway, keeping myself aware and prepared in case I'm in anyone's way. I should at least find the 'eye' of the storm to get away from the chaos: A sort of main office or meeting room.
In my interview with Blonde Blazer, she mentioned that I could go there to wait if she couldn't meet me in the lobby. Luckily, before I can get too far, I easily spot her golden stature in the more bland environment, hidden behind a pillar when I had first arrived.
I choose to wait nearby in her line of sight until she finishes talking to- Wow.. -a very handsome brunette man. Oh! She sees me! And so does the man, who nods at me.
Oh, God, he's really hot, my puss– No! Calm down, don't be weird. Especially when they're both walking over to me, now.
"Alex, hi! I'm sorry I couldn't get you from the lobby. As you can see…" Blonde Blazer gestures around us wearily. Of course, it's completely understandable, so I tell her that. "I'm glad you made it up, and just in time too." She pats the hot man's shoulder, "This is Robert Robertson."
Hm. I wonder if I should deduct hot points for the name alone. Until… "The third," Robert adds in a deliciously deep voice, "Nice to meet you." Nope, never mind, my pussy's—! No, no! Stop it!
"He dispatches a team from the Phoenix program, and he's made quiet the impression because of it," Blazer explains. From what I've read, Phoenix is for villains turned hero's. Or, at least, they're trying to be heroes. I could have guessed that their tempers wouldn't allow them to be ordered around by a dispatcher. Until Robert. A man who takes charge.. Mmm. Enough.
"Although you two are in different programs, Robert'll teach you the basics and hopefully," she nudges him, "give you some tips and tricks since it's only your first day."
I can't help but feel a little empowered by Blazer's sort of cheery and cool attitude. It helps that it sounds like I'm gonna be working closely with Robert, too. For no reason in particular, of course.
I speak with a confidence that surprises even me, "Alright, awesome. I'll try my absolute best! Thank you for bringing me along."
Both of their faces brighten at me. Blonde Blazer tells me the pleasure is theirs, then Robert speaks up, "Well if that's how it is, then why don't we get started? You know where your desk is?"
Blazer pips up, "Oh! I have to show you that. This way."
She guides us both to a nice spaced cubical at the end of the row, next to the open walkway and near the elevator, kinda perfect for an autistic like me.
Robert's voice resonates in my ear as we round the corner, "Wow, a system better than mine, why am I not surprised." He looks at Blazer and they converse in total silence, like she's had this apologetic talk with him about fifty times so far. He turns back to me and he pulls out my chair for me, "This should be a piece of cake for you if you're used to the new stuff."
"You good here?" Blazer asks Robert. He nods. "Alright, I gotta run. If you have any questions, Robert basically has all the answers." She's walking backwards, but makes a point to stop and make sure she has my attention. "Thank you for the joining the team, Alex. Good luck!"
- - - - - -
So far, so good. It seems like the hardest part about this job will be know which Hero to dispatch where. I can get the hang of it soon enough.
What I can't get the hang of is keeping my eyes from wandering. Robert's ass isn't the roundest, but when a super attractive guy is bent over in front of you, where else would you look?
It's even worse that he's right next to me, hinging to get a closer look at the computer screen in front of us with his butt inches away from my face.
I swear he's caught me the first two times I looked, and I'm too afraid to say anything about it. And maybe, he's too weirded out to confront me. I'm about to lose my job. No. Don't worry too much too early. It's fine.
But the silence is killing me, since he's so hyper-focused on figuring out this system himself and setting it up for me at the same time. Even more awkward that I had heard his stomach growling before, but the one that happened just now couldn't be ignored.
He sighs, "Sorry, must've been something—"
I'm about to assure him that it's fine when we both startle at someone shouting behind us just after the elevator doors ding open, "DONUTS!"
Mostly everyone in the office cheers as an employee brings in four boxes of donuts and sets them up on a table further down the walkway. Everyone diligently pauses their calls, then scrambles to the table to get their fill.
"You want in on that?" Robert asks me.
"Oh, no, I'm OK. I'll let everyone else get theirs first and then see what's left." Not because I want to stay near you for as long as I can or anything. "What about you?"
He scoffs, "I don't need anything else to eat." Yeah, I hear that. Literally; I swear his stomach just growled again.
-FART TEASE HERE-
That just leaves us in the surrounding area, where everyone is focused on- or fighting for -their favorite donut. And not me, where I can maybe get another glance at…
Robert's tired expression suddenly turns strained as he leans forward, starting a low sigh before another sound erupts from behind him. I flinch at the small quack that goes off near my face, and Robert jolts upright.
"Op!" He clenches, reaching back in an effort repair the dam holding back what's probably a flood. He turns back to me with his other hand in the air in defense, laughing awkwardly, "I am so sorry, I really didn't mean to do that."
He looks around to make sure no one noticed and subtly fans the air behind him. "It's alright!" I say. "I get it. You probably had a lot to eat, right? I understand."
"Are you sure? You don't wanna take it to HR? Cause’ I’d get it."
I almost laugh at that. "Positive."
Robert's shoulders relax and he takes a deep breath. "Sorry," he says, just to make sure that I know it, and leans forward again, this time with his rear pointed away from me. Aw. 'Aw'? Are you ok in the head?? No.
We're getting somewhere now; I have my login, and now, onto learning this dispatch system.
Robert shows me the group of Heroes assigned to me and how to access their database to get a quick feel for who they are and what they're like.
He chuckles and shakes his head when he finishes explaining which region my Heroes are allowed. It's nice to know that he actually feels bad about.. that, but I don't want him to spend the day and then some with any guilt. As funny as that would be…
"You don't have to be embarrassed about it or anything," I say.
He hums. "Blonde or Visi would've never let me get away with that."
"I would." And I say that way too quickly! I wasn't thinking, and I don't even know who 'Visi' is. It could be.. someone to this guy. Nice going, Alex.
But thankfully, he laughs at the joke he thinks I made. "Really? That didn't want to make you strangle me?"
"I mean…" I glance at the donut table. A lot of people have gotten their picks but there's still a good line there, mostly made up of people from the back, around where we are. "It's only natural. And…"
OK, you can stop there! But he asked. But what you're about to say is very HR worthy. He won't tell if you don't. Mmm…
"If I'm honest, your butt is nice enough for people to want that to happen, so…" Congrats, you just lost your job.
"What, like you?" he chuckles, staring at the screen and waiting for the reciprocal laugh from me. And he waits, and waits, and waits. He finally turns back to me with his brows raised, "Like you?"
I can feel my face start to warm. I chuff, only able to shrug my shoulders, waving the whole thing off to try and move on from it completely and as quickly as possible.
“Ho-ho-ho, really?” He laughs lowly, notably to not draw any attention towards either of us, I think. It doesn’t feel like judgment, not with the curious expression and small, parted lipped smile on his face.
“Yeah– I mean.. Yeah,” I manage to say.
“Hey, that’s cool. No judgment for whatever you’re into.”
I smile blankly at the screen at his words. It’s an amazing feeling, especially since Robert is the first person I've ever revealed that to. Nice going, Alex.
“That’s good, actually,” he continues, “As long as you're not.. you know, 'doing stuff ' during your shift, there’s probably plenty of gas bags that work here that wouldn’t mind a little stress relief after work.”
“What, like you?” I joke. Only joking. Until I notice Roberts' downcast eyes and his furrowed brow. “..like you?”
He turns to look at me with a guilty grin that tells me a lot of what I'd want to hear. “I guess I’d try anything at least once.”
– – – – –
Whoo, what a rush! Even though it took me an hour to really get into the groove of everything, I'm not doing completely terrible! My team of heroes are so nice and helpful. I guess I got lucky with my assigned team.
"So I can just leave, and you'll be good until I come back, right?" At the moment, crime and trouble have started to lull, as if everyone in the city knows when it's time to take a pause for lunch.
A dangerously sexy western voice of one of the heroes comes through. "Yep, should be all good! Another handler should be ready to take over for ya."
"Yup, you're good, Alex." I look up over my cubicle wall to see another worker give me a thumbs up. I return it gratefully. "Just remember to log out if you leave your desk."
"But don't stay away too long, ya hear?" And now I'm giggling. Another of our heroes sigh after hearing another bout of the rugged strength-hero's flirting.
I give thanks for their support and kindness before signing off, then lean back into my chair. I hadn't even brought lunch today; I was so anxious. I wonder what's nearby. What does everyone else have—
"Hey," my brows raise at a familiar mild-toned voice coming from my left, "it's your lunch, right?"
"Oh– Yeah! Yeah, I was just about to log off and see what's around here."
Robert points his thumb behind himself, "Do you wanna eat with me? I bought some extra from this Mexican place that a lot of us like."
My computer’s promptly logged off then.
Robert leads me around towards the back wall of our floor into a small closet space, some sort of storage room.
Definitely not a janitors closet with all of the lockers and shelves that I can see in the dimly lit room, save for the blue glow of a lone, old-timey computer.
"Welcome to the Records Room," Robert says, pulling out a chair for us.
– – – – –
"-and just like you'd think, his baby arms were pretty fragile, so when he had him pinned-" Robert gestures in his seat in front of me, bracing the memory of a villains arm, his palm on their elbow. He pushes firmly, intently. "-Both of his arms gone again."
I cringe, remembering the satisfying crunch of my hard shell taco that I had finished just half a minute ago. "Does that sort of thing happen with… all new hires?"
"Only the very unlucky ones, I think," Robert chuckles lowly. "How's the eats?"
I grin, crumbling the used napkin in my hand. "I can totally see why it's you guy's favorite." I point to the tray's logo, "That is real authentic food."
"Yeah, it usually runs through people pretty quick." I smile, but I can't help my head from tilting slightly. He continues after a deep breath, "That thing you said earlier, about what you like.."
I nod slowly. Am I about to get reported, or am I about to be ridiculed and exposed?
"I was thinking about it and thought 'what the hell', you know? So if you're serious about liking that stuff-" He raises his brows as he looks down and pats his stomach, "-I might have a lot of 'stress' that I need relieved?"
"I thought you said we couldn't do stuff like that on shift." My voice cool and calm despite my racing mind.
"We're not on shift, we're on lunch." I hum, my lips twinging upwards on their own. "And it's lucky you started today because Galen is off for once. Super-hearing," he explains. My eyes widen at that and I make a mental note of it. "And there are cameras, but nobody's gonna check em' unless someone breaks in so… here's to hoping, right?"
Our ears twinge suddenly at the gross gurgling of Robert's stomach. He shifts in his seat uncomfortably, then his face relaxes as he's remembering something, that he doesn't have to be embarrassed about it around me.
"You wanna get in on this?" He asks.
I lean forward, too fast that I almost falling out of my seat, "Yeah! Uh, yeah– Yes."
The man chuckles and gets up to walk over to the door. I hear a small click before he starts to walk back.
FARTS START HERE
He gets to the table and pushes our litter to the right end. He steps to the side, standing right in front of me, creating a silhouette hued in the bright blue glow of the computer. Only when he leans forward slightly is when I realize how close his rear already is.
I startle at the abrupt rumbling that greets me, short and blunt. I lean in slowly, letting the gas flow and seep through the fabric of his jeans before planting my nose on the seat of them. It's warm and musky with only a hint of the pungent odor.
Robert rocks his butt back and forth, quietly testing this new weight behind him. Another fart erupts from him, billowing across my face with more length this time, making him sigh once it's done. I move only half an inch back, and the thick cloud is able to consume me better.
I slightly choke at the density of Robert's gas, even more so because of the rancid smell that's able to come through this time.
"You good back there? Too much?" I hear him ask. I'm a little embarrassed at how desperate my answer back to him was: A slightly desperate "Yeah, good."
"Alright, good," he chuckles, "I'm gonna start just… letting them come out now if you can take it. It's crazy how fast this shit runs through you."
His words hint a warning towards me, and after he bends more forward over the desk, I understand why. An airy silent-but-deadly guff whistles out of his hole, ending on a slightly rumbly note. It's so hot against my face, but I feel like I've been chemically attacked once the scent particles travel up my nostrils.
Still, I can't help but moan as the stench seemingly takes over my brain, making me crave more of Robert's noxious fumes.
My mouth gapes as I rub my face along the rough frabric of his work jeans, getting lost in his dense smog.
"I got more coming," he warns. He widens his stance as another airy, then rumbly fart exits him, flying right past my nose and leaving it's stinky trail for me to savor.
"That's probably not comfortable." I feel his pants shift and back away to watch his pants loosen around his waist.
He pauses, then, and turns back to look at me. "We're gonna take it a step further but… We're coworkers so.."
" 'No strings attached?' " I finish for him. He nods. "Sounds good," I nod back.
I'm sure he can see the desperation clearly on my face as my eyes shift back and forth between him and his sagging pants. "But… that doesn't mean that we can't get together another time to do this again." His pants finally slide down to his knees and I'm greeted his shapely, tight ass clothed in dark boxer-breifs.
Admittedly, Robert's ass isn't all that big and round, not like that one fire-hero that I think Robert actually dispatches. But I've never cared about that sort of thing, Robert's still as hot as he was before, and I think his butt is cute! It feels so soft on the tip of my nose, and on top of all that, it stinks. Not just musk, stale and fresh farts, especially where I'd guess his hole is. I want to see the state of it underneath, but… 'No strings attached.'
Luckily, underwear farts might be just as good, with the way that Robert reaches back and pulls away one cheek, exposing the outline of his asshole pressing against his briefs. I watch it purse out and release and rumbly, then airy for a change, fart out at me. The stench finds me way quicker than any of his other farts. Spice and the fresh scent of shit make my eyes water, but the worse that it is, the more I want it traveling into my throat and lungs.
I lean in and take deep, cool breathes against his hole and moan into the man's ass. I'm almost surprised to hear a low moan coming from Robert, too when he feels my inhale. "Yeah, you like that?"
I hum, barely able to keep my hands to myself as I reach out to hold onto his hips. He reaches back to grasp my nape, pushing me forward while using his other hand to spread his cheek apart again, "Here, have another," he says.
Another purse of his hole against my nose, and an all-rumbly fart roars across my face, this time ending on a wet note from the effort of his push. I breathe in deeply again, no matter how much my lungs want to reject his poison.
Robert is smart, try to stifle his groans despite how much he seems to be enjoying it. "God.. I'll admit," he chuckles, "this is fucking hot. Hah.. I'm gonna need a bathroom soon." I drive myself deeper. "Oof… Oh-ho-ho, you're nasty~" Robert coos.