Work Text:
Waiting was the worst part. Waiting to see if Petal would take to the Blazing Star. Alder and Birch were peering worriedly at their mother, Cloud Spots had ushered them to the side.
Petal looked so weak. Her breathing came out halting and shallow. Her coat was dull, the bright cream fur seeming like a plant that had been deprived of sunlight and become listless.
Petal gazed up at him, her eyes narrowed. “You should. . . Get back to the others.”
“I'm not leaving you.” He told her firmly.
Petal laughed weakly. “That's a first, you know.”
Clear Sky looked down in shame. He did know. He knew very well.
Petal sat up shakily. “Cloud Spots,” she said roughly. “Take my kits back. We'll catch up.”
Cloud Spots eyed her skeptically. “Are you sure about that?”
Petal narrowed her eyes. “There are some things they should not have to see.” She growled.
Alder poked her head over Cloud Spots’ tail. “Mama, are you going to be okay too?”
Petal’s expression softened. “Yes, my dear, now go with Cloud Spots. He'll take you home. I'll catch up in a bit, alright?” Her voice was rasping, hardly audible.
Alder nodded. “I'll keep Birch safe!” She promised.
“I'll keep Alder out of trouble!” Birch declared. “I love you, mama!”
“I love her more!” Alder argued as the kits followed Cloud Spots away.
Petal heaved a sigh once they were out of earshot. “You are such a fluffing mouse-brained fox-heart.” She hissed at him.
Clear Sky couldn't bring himself to meet her gaze. “I know.”
“You took One Eye in. And my kits almost died!” Petal snarled, fierce despite how weak she was. “They're going to be scarred for life because of your poor decision-making.”
“I know. . .”
“Is that all you have to say?” Petal demanded.
Clear Sky worked his claws in the grass. “What am I supposed to say? I royally fluffed up, I know! I don't-” he lashed his tail. “I don't know what to do!” his words came out shrill as a kitten cry.
Petal drew in a long breath. “That's your problem, Clear Sky, you never ask for help.”
“Well, I am now. . .” He hated how vulnerable he felt now. It was absolutely humiliating.
Petal hauled herself to her paws. “Get your sorry tail back to camp and plead for forgiveness. That's what you need to do. We may have betrayed you, but we had to. One Eye’s rogues. . . I knew some of them, from back when I was a lone cat. They would have had no problems tearing us all apart.” She shook her head. “Loyalty to you doesn't mean anything if everyone just ends up dead.”
Clear Sky blinked at her. “You are right. I know that. I. . . It's all my fault.” He choked on his words.
Petal nodded. “Indeed, it is.” She agreed. “Now, come on. I may be more angry at you than I've ever been. . . But you're still my friend. I'm going to support you. Not because you're my leader, but because I care about you.”
The fur along his spine bristled. He opened his jaws to retort, then realized that he would have been an absolute fool to do so. Here Petal was, giving him her undying support, and he was still trying to criticize her. How low could he get?
He despised all the doubt that had been afflicting him lately. He didn't like not being confident in his decisions. But that was deserved, wasn't it? He really was terrible.
Petal gave him an odd look. “Are you coming or not?”
He nodded, raising his tail and trying to appear confident. “Of course I am.”
Re-entering his camp was one of the hardest things he had ever done. He had to be prepared to face their judgement. And he had to deal with that. Because he had earned it.
His paws felt weighed down by stones as he took the first step into the clearing. His cats were staring at him expectantly, varying expressions on their faces. Nettle was staring at the ground, his tail flicking to and fro. Thorn was glaring at him, pelt fluffed up. Quick Water’s eyes were blazing, silently daring him to speak. Leaf was at her side, a similar fire in his gaze. Acorn Fur seemed uncomfortable. She wasn't hostile, but certainly hesitant. Snake sat in the shadows of the camp, his expression hidden by the darkness.
. . . Where was Dew?
Cloud Spots and the kits weren't in sight. The black tom had probably taken them back to their den.
Clear Sky took a deep breath before addressing his camp mates. “One Eye is dead.” He announced, despite the fact they surely already knew.
Thorn leaped to his paws. “Yes, but we're still marked! We've still gone through horrors known only to a starless place! What have you done by cleaning up the mess that you caused?!”
Clear Sky forced himself to meet his gaze. “It was my fault, you're right. I don't expect you to ever forgive me. And if you wish to leave. . . Then that's fine. I won't hold it against you.”
Quick Water lashed her tail. “You're missing the point. This isn't about wanting to no longer live in the forest. This is about whether or not you should be our leader!”
Clear Sky glanced at Petal, hoping for support. She gazed evenly back at him. She wasn't going to step in yet. This was on him.
Clear Sky’s ears flattened to his head. “I. . . I don't know what to say.” He admitted. “I know that I have not been the best leader. I promised that I would be better after the Great Battle, and yet this still happened.” He felt like ants were crawling over his pelt. He wanted to turn and flee and stay and fight all at the same time.
Quick Water didn't respond, she only turned pointedly away.
The silence was worse. Clear Sky fought to keep himself from trembling. “Thorn, where is Dew?” He asked slowly.
Thorn lashed his tail. “She went to River Ripple's group.” He answered, a bit of the tension in his muscles seeming to lessen. “I don't know if she'll be coming back, she snuck out during the night while the rogues were distracted.”
Clear Sky nodded, feeling a prickle of relief that she wasn't dead.
Leaf stood up. “Regardless of who's here right now, I think we have a decision to make.”
Nettle nodded. “It's pretty clear to me that Clear Sky shouldn't be welcomed back here.” He declared.
“Now wait just a second!” Petal snapped, finally speaking up. “Clear to who? Who did you consult on this decision, Nettle, Leaf?”
Leaf averted his eyes. “We haven't actually discussed it but-”
“So, then there was no decision, in other words.” Petal growled.
Thorn drew his lips back. “There will be.”
“Vote on it.” Snake spoke suddenly, startling everyone as he slipped out of the shadows. The sun poured down onto his grey tabby pelt, turning it a color that almost matched his odd tan undercoat.
Clear Sky remembered how Snake had looked at him the night the camp had been taken over. He had no doubt which side the small tom would choose.
Snake went on, surprisingly. “But before you do, let's consider something,” his gaze scanned across the rest of them. “You're all very much free to leave and join one of the other groups, even form your own if you really want to. Why try overthrowing the leader here? Do what you want, but know that Petal and I are sticking by Clear Sky no matter what.”
Clear Sky felt shock through his nose down to his tail tip. Was. . . Was Snake defending him?
He and Snake had never been particularly close. The most notable thing Clear Sky knew about him was that he had fought more viciously than anyone else during the Great Battle. Snake was always on the quiet side, never becoming opinionated unless directly spoken to. But there was a glimmer of a much lighter, energetic side one could glimpse when he was out hunting or helping Petal with her kits.
Still, it didn't make sense for him to stand up for him. Had they even had a proper conversation?
“I've heard about your group through the grapevine.” Snake had said to him when they first met. “Sounds like a place for a cat like me.”
“What kind of cat would that be?” Clear Sky had asked him, curious and suspicious.
Snake had tilted his head, his golden eyes gleaming like twin flames. “An outcast.”
Clear Sky watched Snake now, standing with his head and tail held high. There were several scratches around his face. It was odd, no one else had any signs of a struggle. No one except Acorn Fur, anyway.
Snake trotted to the other end of the clearing. “Anyone who wants Clear Sky to remain as leader, stand over here- Petal, you're fine over there, we already know what side you're on.” There was a slight hint of amusement in his voice.
Acorn Fur joined Snake first, seeming uncertain in her decision. Clear Sky couldn't blame her.
Leaf narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. “. . . Clear Sky is a strong leader. But I'm not so sure about trusting the judgement of a-”
“Of a what?!” Petal snapped before he could finish, her eyes gaining a defensive gleam.
Leaf flicked his tail. “A queer.” He spat.
Snake's fur fluffed out. “That's got nothing to do with this.” He growled.
Thorn nodded. “You're being ridiculous, Leaf. It's not like he's attracted to you.” He stalked to Snake's side. It was unclear whether or not he was trying to make a point or had actually chosen to support Clear Sky. It was most likely the former.
Nettle eventually joined the supporting side.
Clear Sky couldn't bring himself to feel relieved yet. He turned to Quick Water and Leaf. “Will you stay or go?” He asked hesitantly.
Leaf flicked his ears. “I'll stay.” He said slowly. “I'm not going back to being a rogue.” There was a warning in his eyes. There would be no further chances after this.
Quick Water nodded after a few moments. “I'll stay as well.” She said, “But if something ever happens again, I will leave.”
Clear Sky nodded. “I understand.”
And that was that.
Petal sat down, her eyes gleaming with exhaustion. Leaf went to get Cloud Spots to help her.
Snake glided across the clearing, coming to a halt at Clear Sky's side. “You know you're still bleeding, right?” He asked.
Clear Sky turned to him, flicking his torn ear. “I'm fine.”
Snake let out a rattling laugh. “No, you are not!”
Clear Sky scowled at him. “I've been through worse.” He insisted. “I'm. . . I'll be fine.”
“Not if you bleed out first.” Snake whisked his tail. “Also, how exactly do you even plan to get back to your nest? You're the mouse-brain who built it in a tree. Now you have no nest. And you're losing my support if you think you should be sleeping on the ground in your condition.”
As he rambled, Clear Sky felt like his energy had fully leaked out of him. He could hardly stand, let alone keep his eyes open.
Snake peered at him. “. . . I've got some herbs in my den.” He said.
Clear Sky eyed him skeptically. “Do you know how to use them?”
A shadow passed over Snake's eyes. “When you live out on your own, you learn a lot of things. Some cats learn to hunt adders, some learn to hide their pasts, some learn to use herbs. . . I do all three.”
Snake headed across the clearing without saying anything more. Against his better judgement, Clear Sky followed him.
***
Clear Sky ended up around Snake far more than he would have anticipated. His wounds weren't healing nearly as quickly as he would have liked, and he still wasn't able to make the climb into his own den.
It had been a quarter moon. Clear Sky was beginning to be used to Snake constantly hovering over him. Snake seemed to know very well what he was doing.
Clear Sky had once asked him how he'd learned so much.
Snake had closed his eyes for a moment. “I learned from a cat who I cannot love no matter how much I try.” Clear Sky had the sense not to ask what he meant by that.
He'd also asked him about the scratches. Snake had looked away. “I tried to stage a coup. Star Flower was the one who caught me. She scratched me up a bit and sent me on my way.” He sounded so sad as he said it, there was clearly some sort of history there.
The more time Clear Sky spent around Snake, the more he wanted to know about him. He didn't usually ask, he just watched.
Snake's favorite prey was shrews. If ever a shrew was available, he took it. Clear Sky hadn't noticed before how rare it was to find a shrew on the prey pile.
He'd used to think Snake was perpetually annoyed, considering how often his tail flicked from side to side. But no, he wagged his tail like a dog.
Snake was one of the only cats Petal trusted with her kits. One of the only cats she trusted, period. They were apparently old friends. Petal had known Snake since he was a kit. He'd hunt with her and Fox. . . Leaf said he and Fox had been an item back in their youth. Snake had never denied it, so it was certainly true.
Snake knew things, too. Things he had no business knowing. He knew Clear Sky's favorite prey was black-bird. He should not have known that. It was so inconsequential, but it stuck out, among other things.
Clear Sky tucked his paws under his chest. He could see Snake now, rolled on his back and batting at leaf-fall leaves as they fluttered down. Alder scampered over to him, leaping onto his chest. “Hey!” She said.
Snake batted her lightly with a front paw. “Hello.”
Alder fluffed out her tail. “Why are you always around Clear Sky, hm?” She demanded.
Her brother dashed over. “Yeah! I have that question, too!”
Snake raised a brow skeptically, absently catching another leaf. “What do you mean? I have to treat his wounds, or else the stubborn lump of fluff would be out hunting and getting dirt in his injuries.”
Clear Sky's pelt ruffled. He let Snake get away with that comment. There was obviously no malice behind it.
Alder narrowed her eyes. “Hmph. I think there's a different reason.”
Snake furrowed his brow. “Really?”
Alder hopped off of him. “You like-like him. Mhm.” She stalked off proudly, looking smug.
Snake pulled a face. “Now what would ever give her that impression?” He asked Birch, who shrugged.
“Dunno.” He answered. “But I think it too.” He said before darting after her.
Snake's fur prickled. He caught Clear Sky's eye across the clearing and he laughed. “Kits say the strangest things, don't they?” His left eye twitched. It did that when he was uncomfortable.
Snake glanced at Petal. “Your kits are rumor-spreaders!” He called.
The cream she-cat was recovering from her illness well. She and Clear Sky were both suffering from being stuck in camp.
Petal seemed less antsy, though. She did have kits to take care of, after all.
She met Snake's eyes, the smallest glimmer of amusement in them. “Well, someone's gotta do it, don't they?”
Snake shook his head, rolling his eyes and prancing across the clearing. He plopped himself down beside Clear Sky. “At least they're not being malicious, right?” He muttered.
Clear Sky gave him a side glance. “. . . Is it true what they say?” He blurted. “That you like toms?”
Snake narrowed his eyes. “Yes. Does. . . That matter?”
“No. . .” Clear Sky said slowly. “That's just never something that we had in the mountains. No one ever did anything like that.”
“That you knew of.” Snake said sharply. “Queer cats have always been here. Always. You just don't notice them.” He flattened his ears to his head. “My real father was queer. No one knew, because he had a she-cat for a mate. He loved her like any mate. But he also liked toms.”
“Real father?” Clear Sky questioned.
“The tom who mated with my father never wanted me. I was raised by-” he cut himself off, as though abruptly realizing the information he was about to give was forbidden. “Someone else.”
Clear Sky met his gaze. “. . . I never really knew my father. He died before my younger siblings were even born.”
Snake sighed. “I had a little sister. Adopted, of course. . .” He chuckled quietly, tears budding in his eyes. “She was the best friend I ever had. But she changed.”
Clear Sky sighed. “I was the sibling who changed. I wonder if I'll ever be able to fix what I ruined.”
Snake shrugged. “You can try as hard as you like, but at the end of the day it's up to them whether or not they forgive you.”
He nodded, feeling his chest tightening.
They lapsed into a comfortable silence, just listening to the sounds of life go on throughout the camp.
After a while, the question that had been buzzing through his head for the past days boiled over. Clear Sky tilted his head. “How did you. . . Know you liked toms?”
Snake snorted. “How did you know you liked she-cats?” he retorted.
Clear Sky blinked slowly. He thought about the question for a long time before answering. “Maybe I didn't.”
***
Dew returned a few days later. They welcomed her back with purrs. She had developed a taste for fish, and now brought them back for the prey pile. Snake was the only other cat to actually eat them. (Whenever there were no shrews, of course.)
Clear Sky's wounds had finally healed. It felt indescribably freeing to finally be able to go out hunting again.
Snake kept coming back to him. He never had a reason, he just always showed up. Sometimes more than once a day. Despite the fact that Clear Sky was completely well again, Snake fussed over him incessantly.
He always stared at him expectantly with his golden eyes, as though waiting for something. Clear Sky didn't know what he could possibly want.
He'd swallowed his pride and asked Petal about it. She'd given him a long look through narrowed green eyes before snorting and stalking off.
He didn't bother trying to ask her again.
Snake was doing it again. He was sharing a shrew with him, his tail wagging in that odd way he did. This side of Snake was. . . Almost cute, honestly. Clear Sky was so used to seeing the reclusive grey tabby sitting in the shadows of camp that he hardly recognized this small, bubbly cat.
Snake gazed at him with his gleaming yellow eyes, his head tilted slightly to the side.
“What?” Clear Sky asked, tail twitching.
Snake blinked, his eyes like miniature full moons. “What?”
“You. You keep staring at me. Why?”
Snake laughed loudly. “I've always stared at you. You've just started staring back.”
Clear Sky was fairly certain this should have made his fur prickle. But it didn't. He didn't know what it made him feel, but it wasn't anything unpleasant.
He laid his tail over his friend's spine. Snake purred louder, tucking his paws beneath his chest and closing his eyes contentedly.
Clear Sky shifted subtly closer to him. He gazed across the clearing, spotting Petal watching her kits tumble around in the grass.
Dew settled down beside her. She flicked her ears in the direction of Clear Sky and Snake, raising her brow.
Petal turned to her, head tilting to the side.
Dew huffed. “Are they. . ?” She asked quietly.
Petal snorted, her tail lashing. “Not yet.”