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Since she’s known herself, Caspian Chloe Charming realized she was different than the other boys.
The first sign must’ve been that she liked playing with dolls or ponies rather than cars or dinosaurs. But she still loved her sword more than anything, so only a few questioned it. It wasn’t anything too major, as she was still young and nothing was cemented in her mind.
The second sign was probably that she never corrected people when they addressed her as “princess” instead of “prince”. It was because of her higher voice and the curls that reached her shoulders by the time she was 10.
“Does it…not bother you?” Chad asked when they returned from a day in the village. He had just enrolled at Auradon Prep and was visiting for the holidays.
“Not really, it’s an honest mistake.” She mumbled, brushing the hair at the back of her neck.
“Alright, but if anyone bothers you, you know who to call!” He exclaimed, rolling up his sleeve to show his toned arms.
“Yeah, yeah,” She laughed, shoving him. “Thanks a bunch, Chad.”
“I’ll go help mom with dinner. See you, brother.” He patted her shoulder in passing. The last word left a weird feeling in Chloe’s stomach.
After a while, it wasn’t only girl stuff she liked, it was activities and clothes, too. As much as she loved her suits and button-ups, she had grown to long for the dresses she saw her mother wearing.
She was 14 when she searched on the internet for all she had been feeling. Upon searches and rephrases, she came upon an interesting word. Transgender.
It represented a variety of people who didn’t fit in with their assigned sex at birth. They could choose to take hormones and have surgeries so they feel more comfortable in their skin, a bit mature for Chloe’s age, but she understood.
But…she couldn’t be trans, could she?
Yes, she loved dresses, reading amongst animals, and using in secret her mother’s makeup, but she couldn’t be trans. She still liked the boy stuff, too! Like sword fighting or being a gentleman!
So, like any troubled child, she went to her mother for answers.
Ella was reading a book when Chloe entered the drawing room. She greeted her with a tender smile and made a motion for her to approach. “Hello, dearest”
Chloe sat next to her on the couch and stared at the floor. Putting her book down, she put an arm around her child. “What is it?” Her voice was sweet when she asked.
“Mom, I think there’s something wrong with me,” She mumbled, feeling the tears coming out of nowhere.
Ella embraced her tighter, “Tell me, sweetie.”
Chloe swallowed and tried to make room for the words she wasn’t sure were ready to come out. “Mom, I think I might not…be a boy.”
When no response came, she anxiously continued. “And, don’t get me wrong, I love sparring with Dad and Chad, but lately I’ve realized that I hate having my hair short, I hate being addressed as a prince.” A pause, then another couple of sentences said rapidly. “But also, mom, I love girls and can’t see myself without loving one in the future, and I do like some masculine things, so maybe I am a boy? It hurts to think about-“
“Hun, take a breath.” Her mother laughed. “You said you don’t feel like a boy, right? Does that mean you’d like to be a girl?”
“Well…” She considered it for a few seconds. “I suppose so, yeah. I think I’d like that.”
Ella brushed a few curls from her face. “We suspected this for a while,”
She couldn’t hide her shock. “All of you? Even Chad?!”
“Even Chad. Of course, he’d notice something about his little sister.”
Oh. Chloe smiled dumbly at the little title. Something warm settled in her chest and stayed there for a good while. “Thank you.” She whispered.
Telling her father and brother was much easier than telling her mother, and it started a debate over which name she should use from now on.
“I say we each suggest something and let her decide, yes?” Ella advised, and the boys nodded in unison.
“What about…Angelica?” Her father said, hopeful.
She grimaced. “It’s too…I don’t know.”
“Grace! That’s good, right?” Her brother exclaimed.
“It’s good for a second name, not one I’d use primarily. It goes well with yours,” She explained, gesturing to the fact that her brother was also named Grant.
It was her mother’s turn. “If we still go with the C theme, maybe Chloé?” It was said in their first language, French, so it had a soft accent.
Something about it made her feel seen. “I think that’s the one,” She grinned brightly.
“Wait! I want to contribute, too!” King Charming waved a hand frantically. “Oh! I got another one.” His eyes shone. “Alexandra!”
“I like it” She giggled.
Chloé Grace Alexandra Charming
That was her! She had finally found herself!
With finding herself had come great joy also.
Putting make up for the first time had been such an exciting experience. It was…a bit weird but she also liked how wide her smile was as she applied lipstick or the little gems on her eyelids.
For her 15th birthday, she had received a pretty blue dress that she wore for three days straight, and she officially started hormonal replacement therapy! Well, after talking to a professional who determined whether she was going through a phase or not. Which she wasn’t! It was frustrating how many people suggested that. It was like they didn’t trust her mind and needed someone qualified to determine whether the storm inside her was justified or not.
Being deadly afraid of needles (swinging a sword didn’t help), she decided to opt for estrogen in the form of cream. She had to put it on at a certain time of the day, which was perfect for her and her routine.
It took months to a year to see results, but Chloe didn’t mind. She was happy to see the results as it was.
It helped a lot that her face was pretty feminine from the start, but the hormones helped soften her skin and lighten her eyes. According to Chad, now she had a doe-eyed stare that he complained about not being able to deny- Chloe was most grateful for that since she could get her way most times.
Her thighs and hips had gained more fat because of the hormones, giving her the curved figure that made her smile whenever she caught sight of herself in a mirror.
One of her many milestones in her journey was buying a bra. It seemed stupid, a simple piece of clothing that any woman wore. But she wasn’t just any woman, so if she cried a bit when she finally put it on, that was her business.
However, with finding herself, obstacles have come her way.
Childhood friends who swore they were supportive now left her and complained that “It sucked that Caspian was trans,” probably because she didn’t fit in their prince charming fantasy anymore. Which was extremely stupid. It didn’t affect them in any way!
It hurt her more than she’d admit. She had cried rivers upon rivers for those people who didn’t even spare a thought for her.
It hurt because she expected most support from those friends, who saw her aversion toward boyish things, who encouraged her to be more girlish. She grew with them side by side, saw them find themselves in hobbies and fashion styles, then they turn on her as she does the same? Stupid. That’s what she was crying over them.
And it wasn’t like she could’ve just not told them. It wouldn’t have been right.
In addition, she started hating being called any masculine attributes. Well, not everything, as handsome was still a weak spot, but everything else was a big no. Her official documents were still with Caspian written on them, and royals still greeted her with ‘Prince of Cinderellasburg’. It confused her and irritated her to no end.
She was a girl, why couldn’t they look beyond her certificates and see the person in front of them…
Older family members…couldn’t really accept her choice either. They had the best interest at heart, she wouldn’t deny that, but she didn’t need their advice. They shouldn’t tell her how to live her life.
“You’ve chosen a hard path, Caspian-“ Her grandmother tried to advise at a family reunion.
Suddenly, the food felt like cardboard in her mouth. “It’s Chloé.” She said firmly through gritted teeth. “ And I know very well what this path means. If I could choose to be a boy, I’d do so.” And she was honest. She didn’t have to take hormones, lose friends, and be forced to be homeschooled if she weren’t transgender.
“Maybe seeing someone could-“ Her grandfather interjected, but he got cut off as well.
By now, she had started getting irritated. “If you’re trying to convert me, trust me, I’ve tried that myself,” She huffed in laughter bitterly. “Thank you for your concern.”
It was quiet after that. Her father seemed about to let some harsh words fall upon his parents. Her mother looked at her with a mix of pride and sadness.
That night, she heard sniffles coming from the pavilion as she did her nightly walk around the castle. She peeked and saw her mother staring into the horizon.
“Maman?” She called out, and she observed the quick movement Ella made toward her face to wipe her tears.
“What is it, bluebird?”
Chloe shook her head, dodging the question, “Why are you crying?”
Her mother looked taken aback, clearly not having a particular desire to express herself. Her gaze looked Chloe over, from her long curls to her light blue shoes. “I was thinking about how hard it’ll be for you to live. Your grandmother is right; this is a difficult path you have.”
“You don’t need to worry about me; people can’t tell-“
“Chloé, you will face great rejection, and I am so, so sorry I can’t protect you from it.” She seemed to ignore her daughter as the tears started to spill again. “I can’t help but think that this is my fault, that I somehow influenced you to be... “ Her sentence was cut off by a sniffle, “And as much as in my eyes, you are a girl, and will always be my daughter, I can’t guarantee that others will see you the same.”
The girl stood motionless. Guilt ate at her, consuming her whole. This wasn’t…this wasn’t how she imagined her life would be. She hated how her mother’s mind worked. How she thought everything about Chloe was tied to her in some way. And in some way, they were, but not this.
“Maman,” She sat next to her and took her hands in hers. “I am not trans because of you. I am this way because of my feelings, my body, and my mind. I am my own person.”
‘So, please, treat me like one and not just your parental failure.’
In the quiet air, with her mother hugging her as if she were trying to mend something broken, Chloe started to hate herself more for the pain she put her relatives in.
Call her selfish, but she couldn’t say she regretted finding herself, even if she brought misery to others for this simple fact about her. They were too busy mourning Caspian while Chloe was just trying to find her footing in the world.
Maybe she was selfish.
Chloe closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep, hoping her mother would carry her to bed as she used to when she was younger.
After insisting she was capable of going out into the world and attending Auradon Prep, she was officially enrolling in her junior year. She couldn’t wait!
She was as scared as excited, she wouldn’t lie. People turned their backs on her so easily, who said her colleagues wouldn’t do the same when they found her official documents…
Either way, she wished for friends better than the ones she had in her early life. She wanted people who could mind their business and not judge her for who she was.
Surprisingly or not, her subjects in Cinderellasburg were the most accepting people she has met. They greeted her with a chipper ‘Good morning, Princess!’ Well, it depended on the time of day she visited, but she loved it! It was such a small gesture, yet she couldn’t help the grin on her face.
Also, she wanted a roommate who knew not to intrude on her stuff, as she didn’t need anyone to find her estrogen gel. Among that, she wished for her roommate to be a pleasant human being, someone who was as calm as she-
Her roommate was the most insufferable person on Earth!
Red of Hearts, rebel at heart, and the human version of fireworks, was the one she was supposed to share a dorm with for the next two years. She was bold, loud, and a menace!
She picked on her for being a stuck-up and an A+ student, but made sure to cause less chaos in the classes they shared. She always made it known when she walked into a room, but entered their dorm quietly so as not to disturb her.
Chloe hated her, but most of all, she hated how she didn’t hate her at all. She hated the flutter in her chest when Red smirked or called her ‘Princess’ in the softer way she did in the morning. She hated how her gaze observed her figure when she wore tighter clothing. She hated how every thought in her mind disappeared when she heard her laugh. She hated how much she searched for those wild waves in the crowd.
So…it was safe to say Chloe Charming fell in love with Red of Hearts.
“Princess, how much time are you going to spend in there? Hurry up!” She heard Red shout desperately.
Chloe touched up a bit on her curls, then left the bathroom and was met with a sight that made her heart stop.
Red looked…ethereal. Her scarlet waves struck in every direction, but that was part of her charm, as it made her look like a rockstar paired with the bold leather jacket on her shoulders. She couldn’t help the way her eyes were transfixed on the bright red lips that seemed so inviting and soft-
Hurrying past her, Red’s perfume invaded her senses. She felt as if she were hypnotized.
Gods, Chloe was down bad. Very, very bad.
And at the same time, she was terrified.
If somehow she managed to make Red swoon, how would she tell her? What if Red outed her to the whole school? Or worse, what if she thought she was a creep and a freak?
She couldn’t bear the thought of being the target of those hurtful words her own mind created. She was smart enough to realize that her mind was just plaguing her. But hearing how disgusting and weird she was from another person’s mouth? It filled her with dread.
So, despite having the biggest crush on Red of Hearts, Chloe would never confess. This way, she would never have to explain herself. Either way, she was sure nothing would happen between them.
…somehow something happened.
They were cuddling as they often were on Friday nights, and Red was exceptionally frustrating with her playful flirting. It was something she did, and Chloe was done spending her time overanalyzing every word she said to her. And so, she let her impulsive side take over.
Chloe grabbed her collar and joined their lips together. In response, Red wrapped her arms around her neck and deepened the kiss.
“About time you got the hint, Princess.” She breathed, lipstick smudged and dark eyes watching her.
Chloe merely groaned before kissing her again. Harder, hotter.
And Red moaned her name so beautifully as she kissed her neck that Chloe almost didn’t notice her obvious excitement.
Suddenly, she pushed Red away, leaving her on the bed. She stood as far away as she could, breathing heavily and trying to eliminate her boner. Her face was full of heat, and she wished she’d disappear. Gods, she couldn’t believe she let herself get carried away. Red would never talk to her again and-
“Princess?” came the whisper from Red amongst her panic. She had almost forgotten. She wasn’t like Red.
She approached her, but Chloe pulled away. “Are you okay?”
Taking deep breaths, she moved her head in response. She doesn’t know if she nodded or shook in disapproval, but either would be pretty right.
She swallowed hard, eyes darting everywhere and nowhere in panic.
When her breathing slowed down and her breathing calmed slightly, she turned around and faced Red. The redhead was looking at her with the most care and patience. She hated the part of her that whispered she wouldn’t have it for long.
“Okay, so there’s…um, something you need to know about me before we continue.”
“Okay,” The redhead said gently. “Go on,” She encouraged.
“So…I’m transgender, which means I wasn’t assigned female at birth and I have to take hormones to balance the testosterone, and I totally understand if you wish to date an actual girl and not, well, me.” She took a bunch of air, not even seeing that Red opened her mouth. “Gods, I don’t even know why I assumed you wanted to date me. You could’ve kissed me to reject me softly, though you don’t seem the type to play with people’s feelings-“
“Chloe!”
“Yes?”
“You do realize where I come from, much madder things happen, right?”
“I mean-“
“Nuh uh, let me finish.” Red shushed her, and it brought a small smile to her lips. “I don’t care if you were born a boy because your present being matters more. I don’t like you for your appearance, though you’re more than gorgeous.“ She not so subtly checked her out, “I like you for your… horrendous jokes, the way you slightly snort before breaking into a giggle fit, and the way you care so much for others and much more.”
Chloe was about to say something when Red shut her up by cupping her cheeks. “Look, I’m not one to know lots about love like you, knowing my background. But I can safely assure that you, Chloe Charming, are deserving of it.” She muttered, earnest and gazing at her as if she were precious.
Blinking rapidly, Chloe realized tears were threatening to spill. She had never…felt so understood, so seen before. She can’t remember the last time she’d been complimented, and she actually believed it. Yet…with Red, whose perspective on her hadn’t changed one bit, it was rather easy.
Red’s hand came to her cheek, holding her softly. “And I love you, Chlo.” She confessed with a tender smile while caressing the soft skin. “Nothing can change that, promise.” Her fingers gingerly wiped away the liquid under her eyes.
“Okay,” She swallowed, feeling another wave of tears gathering in her eyes. “I love you, too. If it wasn’t obvious.”
They both giggled, a weight lifted off Chloe’s shoulders as she relished in the sound of Red’s laughter.
Suddenly, a mischievous glint covered Red’s eyes. “And, Princess, I promise that this-“ Her fingers delicately tapped on the seam of her pants. “-won’t ever be an issue.” With a smirk, she cupped the bulge, and Chloe moaned softly in response.
“Glad we, um, established that”
And though it was through an accidental make-out session, that’s how they got together.
By the time she was in her Senior year, there were certain emotions she couldn’t control. For example, she was hyper aware of how her shoulders were wider than Red’s, or how deep her voice was in the first hours of the morning. She seemed to observe more things that could out her as a not cis woman. Which was really weird and frustrating, because until now she was the most confident in her identity and image. She blamed it on the hormones and knew it would pass, but she couldn’t stop the effect it had on her.
“Hey, Red?” She called out from the bathroom, nervous and quite scared out of her mind as she was looking into the mirror. Her eyes traced every roughness in her cheekbones, every part of her skin that was sharp, and she deemed ‘masculine’. She blinked away tears, quickly wiping any excess water around her eyes.
“In a sec, gorgeous,” The redhead said, muffled as she was probably doomscrolling on her phone. Faint footsteps sounded before Red appeared in the doorway. “What is it?” She approached her, hands on her upper arms.
“I, um,” Chloe sighed, “Do you think I should quit Swords&Shields?”
Red stared at her, eyes wide in surprise, “What?!” She asked, head tilting. “I thought you loved this sport?”
“No, no, it’s not that, just…” Her head ducked, embarrassment clouding her cheeks, “Don’t you think it’s too boyish for me to practice?”
“Chloe, look at me.” Her fingers gently cupped her chin. “Do you think Felix is feminine for reading?”
“Well, no-“
“Then what is the problem?”
“He was born a guy,” She reasoned, then gestured to herself, “I wasn’t- I am not…” Her voice broke as she trailed off.
“Yes, you are a woman, Chlo,” Red kissed both of her cheeks, then joined their foreheads together, “Hobbies, clothes, colors, they don’t have genders, baby. Quit Swords&Shields only if it’s not enjoyable anymore, okay?”
“Yeah,” She answered numbly.
Red left a few minutes later, complaining about a meeting with the headmaster and promising to talk about the matter later.
Chloe looked to her reflection once again, chewing her lip in thought as she scanned herself.
A couple of moments later, Chloe stood in front of the full-length mirror, sword in hand. She swung it a few times, the movement more familiar than anything she’s felt about her body recently. It was the only thing left of her past self, and she wanted to keep it, no matter how different it made her compared to the other girls.
She was different, either way. Why not make the most of it, then?