Work Text:
laughter filled along the hallways,
full of radiance and delight.
students walked along with their friends,
chatting and laughing.
as if there are no burdens painted
on their faces.
in the middle of it all,
there’s me.
keeping my head down,
and trying to make myself smaller
than I already am.
thinking that this might be the way
to avoid conflicts and disarray.
to exist, trying and failing
to be invisible enough
to not cause any trouble.
and the devastating fact there is,
I was completely wrong.
nobody would spare a glance at me,
or worse,
to give any kindness at all.
one wrong move,
and suddenly I was exposed.
judged, scrutinized, and condemned.
the way they treat me
is akin of an elderly dog
that you would find in a shelter.
no matter how much I behave,
somehow, something always went wrong.
no matter how much I tried,
I still couldn’t keep up with other souls.
and no matter how much I endured
I am still not enough.
all I could do was to beg the Heavens
to either take the pain away,
or to take me instead.
to take this ache that keeps residing
inside of me,
and turn it into a distant memory.
for I could not bear it anymore
day by day,
from witnessing the height of sunlight
to the harshest downpour
if taking me is the only way I could be free
of this never ending sorrow,
may it be the last flicker they would witness.