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Serenity left Mal and Simon behind in the face of an incoming Alliance cruiser and a lockdown on Argabuthon and the rest of the moons of Athens. Looking back, Wash kept thinking they should have known; they should have anticipated Alliance movement, they should have been on their toes. But they hadn't been. They were there on a cattle transport job and things had already gone sideways, with shortchanging and an argument that very nearly ended in drawn pistols. After a quick bit of negotiation and with the tension dissipated, everyone relaxed while they finished herding the cows onboard and a few crew members ran errands in town.
Wash really wished they’d all been smart enough to stay on edge after their tense day. When they were on edge they noticed things that were out of place and often followed those gut instincts that kept them out of danger. Instead, the alarm for dock lockdown caught everyone off guard and sent them and the rest of the crews docked alongside them into a panic.
Kaylee reappeared right as Jayne was gearing up to go look for her, racing down the street and given a wide berth by passersby due to the extension cord that was swinging from her arms. Zoe put a calming hand on Kaylee’s shoulder once the mechanic was back up the ramp and had set down her haul. She was wheezing and Wash figured she must have sprinted from the junkyard as soon as she heard the news.
“You got back, you’re fine,” Zoe assured her as she caught her breath.
“Is everyone else back?” Kaylee asked.
“Captain and the doc are still out,” Zoe said, her eyes still fixed out at the street. She pressed the button on her portable comm. “Sir? Emergency lockdown. If we can’t get out in the next few minutes we’re toast.”
“Trying, Zoe,” Mal’s voice came over the tiny speaker. “It’s chaos out here. Local leos are swarming and I'm trying to stay out of sight. Can’t figure what the emergency is. Any info from the dock master?”
“Haven’t gone asking. More concerned with getting off this rock.”
Ships began leaving and that started setting off more alarms, but the docks on Argabuthon did not have the security staff to realistically prevent ships from taking off in the window before the mechanisms physically prevented them from fleeing.
Zoe and Wash stared out at the line of docking lights and Wash thought he was going to be sick as the one at the far end suddenly turned red, followed a few seconds later by the second in line. It would only be a few minutes before the one at their slot did the same and locked them in for however long the Alliance wanted.
“Wash?” Mal suddenly said from the walkie talkie.
“Sir?”
“Fire her up.”
“You’re close?”
“Far from it. But we ain’t getting there in time.”
“We can't leave—" Zoe cut in.
"You might remember that there's another Tam on our ship that needs protecting. I figure they won't do anything to the doctor if they don't have his sister. Zoe, I am not in danger and I'll keep the doc safe. Get going. Mă shàng.”
And that was that. Everyone was aware of the situation: get out of here and come back when it's safe. No one was dying or suffocating and Mal was right: if they separated the Tams rather than risking both of them getting trapped on the same rock, there was a better chance of escape in the future. It could have been worse: at least they weren't stranded on Whitefall.
Wash took them up away from the docks to the sound of the alarms continuing, a warning over the docks loudspeaker system telling the Firefly series 3 to redock and adhere to lockdown protocol, and River in the cargo bay screaming and pounding her hands on the airlock door.
She exhausted herself by the time they were out of atmo and Shepherd Book eventually managed to calm her down enough to move her to the galley lounge, where he and Kaylee wrapped her tightly in a blanket. Wash and Zoe joined them as soon as Wash could possibly get the ship on autopilot and Inara and Jayne eventually made their way to the galley as well.
“We really left ‘em?” Jayne asked.
"We'll go back soon," Kaylee said immediately, then looked to Zoe. "Right?"
“Captain ordered us to take off, and he ain’t wrong about why. If the feds found both Tams on a docked ship it would be over for them, as well as the rest of us. If they only find Simon, there’s a high likelihood they’ll keep him alive as long as possible for questioning or bait. Besides that, we’re far more likely to be searched if we’re permanently docked and the captain knows how to skirt patrols and avoid inspections. I’m confident that they won’t be stopped. We’ll go back whenever it’s safe to do so, whether that means tomorrow or in a few weeks.”
"How long is the lockdown expected to last?" Shepherd Book asked. He looked to Wash. "Can you find out on the Cortex or is this not something they report on?"
"I can check," Inara said. "And if it isn't available I can ask around to people I know."
"Don't push it," Zoe told her. "Don't put yourself at risk."
River hiccoughed from the couch. Zoe made her way across the room and dropped to her knees in front of River, tightening the blanket around her.
“There isn’t anyone better to be stranded with,” Zoe told her softly. “The captain knows what he’s doing. He’ll keep Simon safe.”
Once they felt far enough from Athens and its moons to relax a little, Wash spent the entire afternoon in the infirmary with Inara and the Shepherd, trying to decipher Simon's practically illegible notes on River's progress and medications. While Simon's handwriting was atrocious, his notes were nauseatingly thorough, and they discovered that he’d developed a numbered system for the cabinet shelves so it was easier than they’d anticipated to find exactly what medicines he was talking about. River herself made a full day of recopying his notes in her own impeccable handwriting, ensuring that the dosages and schedules were easily accessible for the rest of the crew.
It was simple to find the news bulletin on the lockdown. The alert was something about a dangerous criminal in the system, and while at first they'd thought it was maybe about Simon, a bit of digging showed that the Alliance was cracking down on an organized crime ring out of Valentine that had a pretty substantial presence on Athens's moons. There didn’t seem to be any answer as to whether or not they’d actually found the criminals in question, so Wash assumed that they hadn’t, and that meant the lockdown wouldn’t lift quickly.
Flying without Mal wasn't easy but it also wasn't as harrowing as Wash had anticipated. Zoe stepped up as acting captain and all of their contacts knew her just as well as they knew Mal. She got the cattle where they were going, negotiated deals, took care of dubiously legal loopholes, kept Jayne in line, and everyone else was happy to follow her. It meant a lot of extra work for everyone as they tried to spread Mal’s usual tasks around equally, but it was temporary. It had to be.
It soon became clear that everyone had gotten very accustomed to having an expert surgeon on board, taking risks and being a little bit more carefree when they were dealing with tetchy contacts. After Jayne underwent an effective but brutal and messy bullet removal surgery at Zoe's hands, they all silently agreed that they'd be more careful. Simon’s absence was especially rough on River. Everyone had known it would be, but it was still hard to watch; she'd sometimes wake from a nightmare and wander through the ship, calling for her brother. They'd considered moving her into the empty crew bunk so she'd be closer to everyone, but Shepherd Book had said he was more than happy to step in as her primary caretaker. Wash, Inara, and Kaylee put themselves on a rotating schedule to spend a few nights in the neighboring passenger dorm to give Book a break now and then. Wash knew he wasn’t River’s favorite, and he usually had to be closer to the bridge in case of issues during autopilot anyway, so he wasn't the most frequent attendant. However, while she was less of a little sister he always wanted and more of a weird niece he was learning how to bond with, he did feel like he was getting better at understanding her.
Everyone was acutely aware of the fact that Simon had mostly been doing all of the medical care and midnight soothing on his own with very occasional aid, but they never spoke about it. They didn't speak about Simon or the captain very much at all except for when Wash and Zoe made the weekly checks on the status of the Athens moons lockdown and updated the crew at dinner. There wasn’t much to say aside from I hope they’re okay, and thinking about it too much seemed to distress River even further.
The lockdown lifted after four and a half months and they finished up the job they were running before thy returned to retrieve their captain and doctor exactly 143 days after they'd been forced to leave them behind. Wash docked them back in the major city on the little moon early in the morning and watched as Zoe geared up to go out searching. She chose to go alone and didn't bother to explain why. Wash didn't ask. She had her reasons.
The rest of them milled around the cargo bay for a bit before they dragged some crates into a circle and started up a card game. They seemed to do this a lot but Wash hated the energy of a card game when no one actually wanted to be playing cards. He'd rather spend the time laying down on the floor, and so that was what he did while they waited for updates.
It was almost noon when there was a stirring of movement in the distance that had everyone abandoning their game and Wash felt his heart sink as Zoe strode back into view. Alone.
"They're gone?"
"They're not where we left them," Zoe confirmed. "But there's a mid-sized town that they could have feasibly gotten to on the other side of the planet so there’s no need to panic yet. Let's get moving."
The other town did not have a docks district. Wash landed out in the empty desert: as close as he could get without becoming a nuisance to the residents or the cattle that roamed fairly freely. Zoe was on the mule and down the ramp as soon as they were landed and Kaylee set the card game up again. Eventually, River slipped out of the passenger dorms and padded over to the edge of the ramp, where she stood stock still, staring out at the town on the horizon.
That told them what to expect before Zoe even appeared back on the road to town.
"They're here," Zoe shouted as soon as she was close enough. "We'll be here for at least one night while they pack up everything and leave town."
"Zoe, I could go out there with you," Kaylee piped up. "I can help get them all packed up."
Zoe sucked in a breath.
"I think we ought to let them handle it," she said after a beat. "Five months is a long time, and from the fact they're living in town and both have jobs…that means there are at least acquaintances to say goodbye to. Besides, neither of them are the type to collect a lot of clothes or knickknacks. Probably not much packing to do, Kaylee. Just be ready to welcome them home."
Kaylee nodded her assent and set about cleaning up. Zoe gestured with her head for Wash to join her at the stairs.
"Everything okay?" He wondered.
"This won't be smooth," Zoe muttered. "I have no idea what they went through planetside, but I can tell the captain's adjusted to life down there. He…ugh, baby, he looked like a different person."
"What, like he's got a beard?"
"No, not like that. The look in his eyes…I was going to help him with the packing of whatever he and Simon may have accumulated, but it felt better to let him settle up his accounts and say his goodbyes and go find the doctor on his own."
"You couldn't find Simon?"
"I had to drive by a ranch in order to get to town, and of course guess who's working as a hand. Captain gave me a brief; told me they were both safe and healthy, living in town and working," Zoe said quickly. "I imagine Miss Scrying Glass would be pitching quite the fit if Simon were missing or taken or worse. They're likely just…a little changed."
"You think something terrible happened to them on Argabuthon?"
"No, I think the captain would have said if they'd been tortured and escaped, or something similar. I just think he probably got himself into some kind of mindset that won't be easy to shake off. It's the sort of thing you do in order to survive and not go crazy. He'll need time to adjust back to being our captain, but he's adaptable."
It felt odd, to just sit there and wait quietly after the assurance that their lost crew members were perfectly fine and would return the next day. They should have been bustling around, preparing…somehow. Wash wasn't entirely sure how but he still wanted to be doing something. He and Kaylee seemed to have the same idea and both of them poked their heads into the empty rooms Mal and Simon would be returning to, but there wasn't anything to do in there besides getting the clean sheets from storage and putting them back on the beds. That only took a few minutes, and then they were back to their usual evening routines, just feeling a little off kilter.
Wash stared up at the ceiling that night after Zoe had fallen asleep. He couldn't say that he thought things might go back to how they were five months earlier, but he also didn't think he had the faintest idea as to what Mal or Simon might be like now.
He looked like a different person.
What did that even mean, if it wasn't about his actual appearance? Wash didn't want to get too scared for no reason, but that did worry him.
The next day, Wash went out on the mule for a usual planetside supply run (just the very basics, and they weren't really low on anything) before Zoe geared up and took the mule out to fetch Mal and Simon. While she was gone, Shepherd Book managed to slip into town for a moment, where he found a few pounds of stew meat and picked two tiny bundles of wildflowers, which were lovingly placed in Simon's room in the passenger dorm and Mal's bunk. Wash wasn't so sure Mal was the kind of man to appreciate a bouquet given to him by a Shepherd, but the gesture was still sweet.
They were lined up on the ramp as soon as the noise of the mule hit them, Shepherd and Kaylee making their way down the stairs from where they were fixing up the welcome back dinner. Zoe was driving, Mal sat next to her in his comfortingly familiar brown leather coat, and Simon was behind them, wrapped in a completely unfamiliar brightly colored checked jacket. Zoe brought the vehicle to a smooth stop in the cargo bay.
Simon slid off the mule, said nothing as he wrapped his arms around River, and the two of them sank to the floor. Wash couldn't tell if they were crying or not, but he figured they might be. Mal stepped around them and was immediately on the receiving end of a full body hug from Kaylee, delivered with the same enthusiasm as a football tackle.
“I'm sorry Kaylee," Mal said into her hair. "I'm so sorry."
“What’re you sorry for?” She demanded. “Ain’t nothing to be sorry about!”
“There is. And I am,” Mal mumbled, squeezing her tighter.
“You’re back now though! And you’re fine. You are fine, right?”
“We both are,” he assured her, managing to step back. “How’s my ship?”
“Serenity’s doin’ great,” Kaylee promised, and restrained herself from launching into a detailed rundown right then and there, instead stepping back to let Mal give a round of handshakes to everyone else and Wash felt himself tearing up a little. Despite what Zoe had said, they sure looked the same to him. Maybe the doctor had a little more color from the sun; the sort of complexion of someone who at least walked from his home to a job and maybe to a community gathering, rather than someone who was shut up inside a spaceship nearly every waking hour of his life. River was certainly developing the eerie translucent look that Wash was familiar with from fellow flight school alums who'd gone into super long haul cargo piloting.
Speaking of: she was still on the floor with her brother. They were definitely crying now, Wash noticed. After another few moments, Simon untangled himself and helped River to her feet. Kaylee hugged him next as Mal grabbed one of the bags that was on the back of the mule. Wash figured he may as well make himself useful and started helping unload. Just as Zoe had anticipated, they hadn’t brought back much; three duffle bags and two wooden crates. Both crates went to the lounge to be unpacked, which probably wouldn’t happen any time soon. Mal and Simon were both listless and worn-out looking but managed to drag themselves up to the galley, likely fortified by the smell of stew.
Dinner felt quiet and subdued, considering the occasion. Mal and Simon were clearly exhausted; Wash wondered if it was from compounding daily life on Argabuthon or from the whirlwind of Serenity coming back for them.
Once everyone was done eating, Inara cleared the table and Kaylee pulled out a jug of apple peel wine and conversation picked up a little. Zoe started giving Mal a rundown of everything they’d done in the past five months, with everyone chiming in with their own comments when they could. Simon still didn’t speak much and looked as though he might nod off right there at the table. Kaylee put her arm around his shoulders and brushed his hair off his forehead.
"You doing okay?" She asked softly. He nodded and she took his hand. "You did doctoring work while you were stayin' there?"
"I did," he confirmed, eyes half closed and looking down into his cup of water. "Uh…sorry, but—" Simon mumbled as he pulled his hand back and gently pushed Kaylee away. "I'm a married man."
Wash stared at him. So did the rest of the crew.
"Simon?" Inara prompted. Her voice was high and thin. Simon looked at her blankly before his eyes widened at an almost comical speed and he whipped his head back to look at Kaylee.
"I…tā mā de Kaylee I am so sorry. I forgot where I was for a minute. I just…I think I need a few days to readjust back to being on Serenity. It's been a long day, too."
Jayne started laughing.
"So tired he started hallucinatin' and thought he had a lady!"
"Were you telling people on Argabuthon you were married?" Kaylee asked. Simon hesitated.
"As far as the people of Argabuthon knew, I was married," he said. "It's just something borne of so long pretending. I'll break the habit soon enough."
"Got that loyal husband instinct, though!" Wash said, trying to cut the tension. He held his hand up over the table and Simon reluctantly gave him a high five.
It was certainly something that deserved more attention; more jokes and some well-intentioned teasing and maybe some genuine questions about whether that meant he'd actually left someone behind, but Simon seemed so tired that even Jayne couldn't get a rise out of him. He bowed out of evening activities fairly early and made his way back down to the passenger dorms, leaving Mal to tell the story about what had happened to them on Argabuthon.
It sounded harrowing; they'd half walked and half hitched their way from the main city of Penshaw to this little town of Shipton (less than a quarter of the size but still the second biggest settlement), riding with folks heading that way or trading passage for stacking crates. Mal had knocked on every door looking for work before he snagged a spot as a ranch hand (I would have been happy as a fruit tramp or a ranch hand or a waste collector; it didn’t matter, just as long as I found something) while Simon had mentioned his medical degree in the town hall and had immediately been given the local clinic to run. They'd carved out a place in town, Mal told them. The other hands had been friendly—desperate for new and interesting stories and Mal had those in droves. Meanwhile, the town clerks had taken Simon under their wing, bringing him along to work socials and church-sponsored potlucks.
"Did you start going to church?" Kaylee asked.
"A little," Mal admitted. "For the social aspect."
Wash figured that it was good Kaylee had asked before the Shepherd got the chance. Mal continued reluctantly, painting a picture of long workdays and Saturday social dances, nights spent on the back porch of the lodgings he'd managed to find; looking up at the stars and waiting for Serenity to come back for him. He didn't say anything about Simon or the marriage that the people of Argabuthon had apparently believed in. Eventually, he also started to slump in his chair, and everyone shuffled off to bed, content with stew in their bellies and their captain and medic safely back on board.
In the morning, it was like they'd never been gone. Zoe briefed Mal on the job she'd sniffed out and he seemed receptive.
"Yeah, sounds like a good enough job. I'll just have to check with…" the captain cut himself off. "Our schedule," he eventually finished firmly, nodding at Zoe. Wash tried his best to make significant eye contact with his wife, but she wouldn't indulge him. What was wrong with this job? What did Mal have to check? If something was fishy, Wash wanted to know.
"Sir?"
"Shouldn't be an issue," Mal said quickly. "Just a double check."
"What does he have to double check with this job?" Wash asked once Mal had left the bridge. "You set everything up no issue."
"I don't think it's anything serious," Zoe told him, but there was apprehension in her voice. "I'm sure he had to be extra cautious when they were on Argabuthon. Just something that slipped out."
It was a scant three weeks he was back on the ship before Mal got mean, snapping at Wash for updating him on a route's travel time at the wrong time, shouting at Inara even more loudly than usual about whatever they usually shouted about, manhandling Simon out of a pub for the apparent crime of talking to another patron, and getting into a physical fight with Jayne over nothing that ended with both of them in the medbay, glowering at each other.
"This is torture," Mal grumbled as Simon dutifully cleaned up the scrapes across his cheek. Though everyone had cooled down, Zoe was standing sentry just in case the fight picked back up.
"Sir, I've seen you under torture," Zoe said flatly, her eyes flickering to Wash. "This looks like schoolboy nonsense."
Mal glared, lip curling for a split second like he might have turned his ire full force on her before thinking better of it.
They flew on.
Mal was still prickly and nasty to them, but the jobs got done and the pay came in and they were still alive so it was hard to try and complain. There were more cattle jobs, and a few protein ration smuggling jobs, and then two contracts that required Mal and Zoe and Jayne to dress up and ambush bandits.
"It wouldn't hurt to spend a little extra time on Three Hills," Inara said on the afternoon when they'd finished a clean job on New Hope and were hauling ass towards Shenandoah.
"Can’t," Mal said as he stood.
"Shore leave would benefit everyone."
"I said can't," Mal snapped. "We’re on a schedule to get to the next cargo run on Boros."
"I think Simon and Kaylee—"
Mal kicked the chair he'd been sitting in and unfortunately caught it at the most perfect angle to send it careening across the galley, where it knocked three enamel mugs off the drying rack and sent them crashing to the floor. One of them ended up at Mal's feet and he kicked it too, just for good measure, before storming out of the room.
There was no shore leave.
Instead, there was a board game night in the little lounge outside the medbay, hosted by Shepherd Book and River and attended by Zoe, Inara, Kaylee, and Jayne. Mal was nowhere to be found.
Wash ended up in the galley with Simon, both of them clearly scared that the other would suggest joining game night. Simon was already a little tipsy once Wash joined him from the cockpit, and they drank in fairly comfortable silence for a little while.
"I can see why you like it so much," Simon slurred.
"Like what?"
"Marriage."
"Yeah?" Wash prompted tentatively. "What did you like about it?"
"Most things," Simon said, sadly turning the baiju bottle around in his hands. "Making inside jokes and laughing at them. Going dancing, watching shows, making friends with their work friends. Having someone to bring you tea and congee when you're sick. Intimacy. The shoulder massages. That sort of…comfort in the night to hear another person breathing next to you…"
"That's true," Wash said carefully once Simon trailed off. This was his chance. "Anything else?"
"Ughhmmm…well, it's easy to cook for two," Simon said. "Easier than for one or for nine."
"You really came to us after being a lonely bachelor in some Osiris high-rise condo, didn't you?" Wash said with a laugh. Simon laughed right along with him.
"Sure did, sure did."
"Marriage sure does have its perks," Wash agreed, redirecting the conversation back to see if he could get anything else out of the doctor. "Sometimes there are arguments though."
"Sometimes there are arguments," Simon echoed, nodding.
"That can be rough," Wash pointed out. Simon squinted at him.
"Yeah, but kinda…hot, though. Right?"
Wash choked on his next sip of baiju. The doctor didn't seem fazed and just sat there, waiting for Wash to agree.
"I uh…yeah, I guess so," Wash eventually choked out. Simon nodded so emphatically that Wash was worried he'd make himself dizzy.
"And having someone there to talk to you…to understand what you're going through, or if they don't, still offer comfort. That was nice." Simon looked as if he might cry. "That was really nice."
Wash gently tugged the bottle out of Simon's grasp and put it back in its spot in the cupboard. It wouldn't do to speed the doctor along on some sort of emotional breakdown. He poured Simon a glass of water, and met no protests at the clear sign that the evening's festivities were over.
"Need a hand getting back to your bunk?" Wash asked. Simon shook his head.
"I'll manage."
Wash was pretty sure the doctor slept on the galley lounge couch that night.
"I think we left Mrs. Tam back on that rock," Wash told Zoe the next morning as they were taking their sweet time waking up.
"Mrs. Tam?"
"I mean…I think there was actually someone. I think when Simon told Kaylee that he was a married man…he sort of meant it?"
"Really?"
"I guess I don't know if they were actually married or engaged or whatever, but I think that he was at least living with someone and considering it a marriage."
"You really think that Simon met someone, fell in love, and moved in with them within five months, all while trying not to get captured on a lockdown planet?" Zoe asked. "Kaylee'd been trying for nearly a year and he never seemed to even understand the concept of a romantic relationship during the time he'd been relatively safe onboard with us."
"Being planetside must have been way different," Wash pointed out. He tried to remember what life had been like the last time he'd considered a planet his home. It was a while back, and he hadn't had a serious honey, so it was a little hard to judge how Simon felt.
Zoe snorted.
"It was probably different in that he was stressed out even more than he was before he got stranded," she said, swinging her legs out of bed and stretching her arms up towards the ceiling.
"Ah…I don't know. He talked about someone taking care of him when he was sick and how he was sleeping next to another person and being intimate with them and cooking meals for two and going dancing together."
"What?"
"I'm telling you, there's a Mrs. Tam on Argabuthon!"
Zoe looked at him with an expression that could really only be described as horror. Wash didn't like seeing her like that.
"He said that?"
"Not that there was a Mrs. Tam," Wash said quickly. "He didn't outright tell me about her, and I don’t know her name or anything, but all that about sharing a life with someone else, yeah, he said that, along with a lot of other stuff, but listen: I'm not necessarily suggesting that we go back and get this woman, necessarily. That would be…rough, right? To try and bring someone on board as a crew member…or I guess as the spouse of a crew member?"
"We're not bringing anyone else on board," Zoe said. "Don't worry about that."
"I know, I know. It feels sort of unfair to Simon, though, doesn't it?"
"He knows what life is like on this ship," Zoe said. She turned to get dressed. "He knows the sort of things he had to trade in order for his and River's safety."
"Well…I don't disagree with that," Wash said carefully. "But isn't it sort of sad? That he had this whole life on Argabuthon with this woman and had to leave her behind? We could have had her for dinner at least. Fed her some stew."
"We handled it how we handled it," Zoe said as she pulled her shirt on and rolled up her cuffs. "And it suited the situation fine."
Wash knew how to read her. He knew that she wanted him to drop it, and while he couldn’t exactly parse why, he knew she must have had her reasons. Besides; he was right! Bringing Mrs. Tam onboard would have been an enormous logistical undertaking. He didn’t think anyone had ever been brought onto Serenity as the partner of a crewmember; everyone had either been hired outright or had some sort of insane, unrepeatable circumstances surrounding them.
Mrs. Tam; this sort of nebulous, faceless woman who'd devoted herself to Simon back on Argabuthon was neither of those things, and so bringing her onboard would have had to have been in the wake of a really good stretch of jobs, or a period when the captain was feeling especially generous, or maybe it would have worked out if she had some sort of skillset they were looking for.
Wash wasn't sure what sort of skills they even needed. Sometimes mention of a cook would come up, but they'd developed a pretty good system for cooking, and Shepherd Book seemed to genuinely enjoy the culinary arts when they had access to real food. Maybe if Simon had fallen for another sharp hired gun they could have justified bringing her on. Wash hoped that the doctor didn't think about her too much, though he knew it could be hard not to. He wondered what kind of person she’d been; if she had asked to leave with him or if she’d been too scared to bring it up. Leaving her entire community behind at the drop of a hat was a scary concept to most folks, and Wash imagined it might be even harder for someone who’d likely spent her entire life in a little ranching town on Argabuthon.
He kept half an eye on Simon, just making sure that the doc wasn't having some sort of overwhelmingly terrible reaction to leaving his wife behind, but Simon seemed to be adjusting to life back on Serenity without much difficulty. He stitched up wounds, saw to his sister, and spent time with Kaylee; both of them trying to laugh off whatever had happened in those murky five months apart. When contrasted with Mal's new attitude, Simon was personable where Mal was standoffish, understanding where Mal was brusque, and offered an open smile and willingness to chat where Mal clearly wanted nothing more than to be left alone. Having Simon to talk to rather than accidentally starting an argument with Mal or Jayne was one of the more prominent reasons that Wash felt relieved that Simon was now a more common fixture in their shore leave group outings. The doctor was still terrible at holding his liquor, but he was nice to talk to, and didn’t seem to pose any danger of starting fights in the bar like Mal might. When he tagged along with them to a dive on Santos, he downed more than his fair share of old fashioneds before Wash could tell him to slow down, and had a bit of banter with the barkeep over the price of garlic knots.
"I think the doc's sloshed," Wash said. "Maybe we should take him back to the ship before he wanders off and gets kidnapped or something."
"No need. Captain'll keep an eye on him," Zoe said, taking the doctor by the shoulders and herding him towards the tiny corner table they were camping out at. Wash stayed at the bar, waiting on their beers and watching as Zoe tucked Simon into the booth seating next to Mal, who had started off the evening morose as usual before starting to loosen up. She slipped back to join Wash as soon as their beers were on the bar. “Don’t worry about Simon too much,” she assured him.
Wash wasn’t that concerned. The biggest threat to Simon now would him be doing something completely normal that set off a disproportionate rage response in the captain, but Mal looked equally drunk in a very Malcolm Reynolds way: laughing easily and more prone to nodding his head along to music, so it was likely that the rest of their night out would be smooth sailing.
Eventually, the bar peanuts weren’t cutting it, so Wash squeezed Zoe's hip and left the bar in search of a food stand. There was a young woman who was selling scallion pancakes from a little window down the street, so Wash bought two (both with eggs, only one with chili oil. He couldn't handle spice). As he walked back inside the crowded bar and started scanning for his wife, Wash took another look back at the booth everyone had started in. The captain had one arm around Simon's shoulders and the other hand was firmly grasping the doctor's chin, and Simon had one hand twisted in Mal's shirt, and they were kissing.
Kissing!
And it looked like a pretty good kiss, from what Wash could see through the dark bar lighting and his own shock. He looked at them for probably longer than he should have, but they were clearly not thinking about what else might be going on in the bar so it wasn't like they were going to catch him gawking.
He looked away when he caught a glimpse of tongue.
So maybe they hadn't left Mrs. Tam back on Argabuthon. They'd probably brought Mr. Tam back on board. Well, more likely it had been Mr. and Dr. Reynolds or Raymond or Harbatkin or whatever, Wash corrected, when he remembered the whole reason they'd had to leave the two behind had been to keep the name Tam from showing up in Alliance scans and reports.
It's a common cover story, Zoe had told him once when she and the captain were preparing for a job. No one questions why a married couple is traveling together or sharing a room. It don't mean anything and you know it.
This sure looked like it had meant something, but then again, Zoe and Mal had never had to keep up the farce for more than three days, and they were always preoccupied with running a con and keeping one step ahead of the feds and other crews. They'd not been left alone in a sleepy little community for almost five months to lay low and integrate into everyday life. Mal and Zoe had also not ever put on the whole marriage charade after several months of a frankly bizarre shipboard dynamic that sometimes felt uncomfortable to witness.
Wash was pulled back to the present by the feeling of someone tugging one of the scallion pancakes out of his hand.
"Are you okay?" Zoe asked.
"That one doesn't have chili oil," he mumbled. Zoe let it go and took the other one before pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth.
"Thanks for grabbing these."
"No problem."
Wash ordered himself a double vodka soda and tried his best not to think about what anyone besides his wife was up to at the bar.
He certainly felt the extra vodka on top of all the beer the next morning and took the opportunity of not having to do any atmospheric flying to really milk it, groaning in bed until Zoe took pity on him and brought him a stale bread roll and a huge mug of lukewarm water. By midmorning, Wash was able to pull himself up to the bridge for a brief check, and an insultingly hangover-free captain generously volunteered for a long shift plotting their next route, which Wash accepted immediately, heading down to the galley for more carbs.
He found them in rice cakes, and a boost of sugar in a packet of raspberry puree, and then settled down in a chair to observe everyone else. The job on Santos had been fruitful, with them not only having a full cargo bay, but also a bit of pocket change that had been spent on fresh provisions. Wash watched as Simon took an apple from the open crate and set about cutting it into slices while River looked on, chowing down on her own piece of fruit. She looked up suddenly and made eye contact with Wash, giving him a knowing look followed by an eyeroll as Simon scooped the apple slices into a blue plastic bowl and started cleaning the knife and cutting board.
Sure enough, when Wash popped in to check on how Mal's work was going, the blue plastic bowl was balancing on the console, apple slices eaten.
Wash had to talk to Kaylee.
He sought her out after lunchtime once he could walk around without making himself sick, and plodded down to the engine room, where she was busying herself with a thorough re-oiling of something at the far end of the room.
"Hi Wash!"
"Hi, there. How's our girl doing?"
"She's fine," Kaylee said, tapping her wrench against the bulkhead affectionately. "What brings you down here? You usually ain't checking in unless something's on the fritz. Something wrong?"
"Not with the ship or the route," Wash said quickly. "Something more…crew related."
"Crew related?"
"Yeah…listen, it's about the whole…just how…with the captain and Dr. Tam…" Wash winced, but Kaylee just nodded.
"You're talking about how they're…well…I actually don't know what I'd call it, because I don't think they've actually been gettin' physical at all since they came back," Kaylee admitted. "But their whole…situation."
"Yeah. The situation," Wash agreed. "So you uh…you know about that, then."
"Yeah, we were cuddled up in the lounge and ended up taking a nap and Simon said the captain's name in his sleep," Kaylee said. Wash grimaced.
"Oh…Kaylee—"
"It was a while back," she said quickly. "And I was only really angry for like a week. Angry and confused, but you know folks can't control stuff like that. Can't control who you want, at the end of the day. I can't blame him."
"What about the stringing you along?"
"I mean; it did sting, a little. I can't lie about that. But he was tryin', I really think he was. Besides, it wasn't like he was pining for another girl and just keeping me as a backup option on the warmer. He just fell in love. There's a bunch of stuff he must've grown up with on Osiris as the Tam heir and all. Pressures and expectations, and I think Inara might'a put them on him again when he came on board. Not that she meant to. But she might have. She meant well; she wanted me to be happy."
"Does he know you know?"
"Oh, yeah. I talked to him about it. He folded right fast and he was real sorry."
"Are you okay?"
"I'm starting to be," Kaylee assured him. "Life ain't ever certain out here, and I don't blame him for any of this. He's bein' nice about it, anyway."
"I just…how far do you think they went?" Wash asked conspiratorially. "If they were living as a married couple the whole time—"
"Oh, they had sex," Kaylee said immediately. "Like, a lot of it."
"Oh. You know that for sure?"
"Simon can't shut his mouth once he gets going. You know that."
"Oh. Yeah, I guess that's true," Wash acknowledged. Kaylee nodded enthusiastically.
"He told me he started doin' daily stretching so that the captain could—"
"Okay, I don't need to hear the rest of that sentence."
"Okay, fine," Kaylee said easily. "It's pretty juicy though."
"Oh, I'm sure it is," Wash assured her. "Uh…are you and Simon…still trying to be together? Or—"
"No, not anymore," Kaylee said, with just the barest hint of disappointment in her voice. She'd always had a very elastic heart. "I think we both thought about it for a moment but…I do want someone who isn't dreaming about someone else. Simon tried insisting that the whole set up with the captain was a thing for convenience and keeping their heads down on Argabuthon but…I didn't believe him and I think that talking in his sleep was sort of a smokin' gun. And it was the way he said it too," Kaylee added. "Sorta breathy and pleadin', like he—"
"Okay! Okay. So uh…what now?"
Kaylee hesitated.
"I don't know. Well I mean, Simon and I are square now, and he's still fun to talk to. But when it comes to the captain...well, Simon told me it was easy on Argabuthon because there was no ship and so the captain wasn't really a captain. It wasn't like there were shipboard complications and all. They were just two men sharing a life. He also said that…once we couldn't get back for two months, they started thinkin' they might have to just stay like that."
"Forever?"
"Yeah, I think so."
Wash had a hard time imagining it; the idea that Malcolm Reynolds had looked up at the skies on Argabuthon one day and some part of him had accepted that Serenity would never come back for him. Maybe having Simon by his side had made it easier to stomach.
"Why aren't they…you know, sharing the captain's bunk and kissing each other goodbye when Mal and Zoe go off on jobs? I bet Mal would be nicer to us if his…uh…husband wasn't sleeping in the passenger dorms."
"It ain't like Argabuthon was some sort of magic fixing spell, Wash. He's still the captain. He still has all his issues. Besides; when they were husbands they were a ranch hand and a small town doctor and neither of them answered to the other. They're back on board again and that means they're captain and medic again. It's gotta be a little weird for them."
Wash considered that and found himself agreeing with her almost immediately, thoughts of intimacy issues and split loyalties floating through his head.
"Does Inara know?"
Kaylee winced.
"Probably not. At least, I haven't told her. I don't think it's my place."
"So what do we do now?"
"I don't think there's anything we can do," Kaylee admitted. "I think the captain wouldn't like it if we started telling him what's what when it comes to his personal business and all."
"You don't think there's any hope for a future where this ends well?"
"I guess there could be. I think it would be swell, of course, and I talked to River about it," Kaylee revealed. "She didn't actually say anything about how the two of them could work it out...she just said that Book likes the passenger dorms, with how the lighting is real glowy and he's away from folks for when he wants solitude, but he wishes the ceilings were taller. If we modify a room there for him, she thinks he'd be happy. Then River can take the empty crew bunk and still be across the hall from Simon and the captain."
"Wait, so, River already has a plan for what she's going to do when her brother inevitably moves into the captain's bunk?"
Kaylee made an indecipherable facial expression that involved a lot of teeth and narrowed eyes.
"She's very optimistic. Which is good, of course, because she deserves to be, after everything but…she never really tells me what actually makes her think they'll be sharing a bunk. And I know she knows lots that the rest of us don't, but…she's still a hopeful little sister. I don't want to let her get too excited."
"But it might happen," Wash pointed out.
"It might. It could. It should."
Wash couldn’t help the fact that he was a little satisfied.
That wasn't the point. He knew that. He was well aware of that, but…there was a tiny little gnome version of Hoban Washburne inside him that was reveling at yet more confirmation of the fact that Malcolm Reynolds did not in fact want Zoe Washburne in his bed.
Wash didn’t tell Kaylee about that. It was sort of embarrassing and irrational and he knew that. Instead, he just left the engine room and headed down to the cargo bay. He wasn't entirely sure where he was going, but it felt like he needed a bit of a walk to process everything. He paused on the landing, staring down at all the crates that had been stacked in rows, ready to be offloaded on Harvest.
He considered making a loop through the passenger dorm, maybe to see how River was doing or have a bit of a chat with Shepherd, but was stopped at the door leading towards the medbay by the sound of a conversation.
"If we don't restock the suture packets before there's another risky job, I'm really going to struggle to do my job well," Simon said.
"What's that thing they say about a shoddy craftsman?" Mal said.
"There's a difference between subpar sutures or those meant for wartime and not having any."
"Top three percent should be able to figure out how to stretch supplies."
"I could but there are also medical supply stores on Anson's World—"
"Ain't gonna be near Anson's World during this run."
"It's in the same system as Harvest," Simon said in disbelief.
"Well we're only going to Harvest," Mal told him firmly, voice getting louder in a way that suggested he was getting closer to the door.
"Fine!" Simon snapped. "There are veterinary supply stores on Harvest. That should suffice, since I'm apparently treating animals."
"We have the supplies we have and we have to deal with that. Everyone else makes do."
"Okay. God forbid I try to prevent you from dying, I guess."
Mal swore and there was the familiar thudding of boots on grating as the captain left up the stairs. Wash decided he didn't need to bother Simon by passing by the medbay. Instead, he retraced his route, went back up to the bridge, and started charting routes to nearby planets and if Anson's World was one of them…well, that was a happy coincidence.
"Can we stop by Anson's World?" Mal wondered when he appeared later that afternoon. "En route to Harvest, I mean. Not to throw out all the work I did this morning, but...we might need to restock some supplies."
Wash gave out his usual no problem, sir and switched the trajectory over to the one he'd freshly plotted. No issue.
It wouldn't do for Simon to be seen on Anson's World, with the crowds of adventurous Core folk embarking on educational cruises requiring a corresponding security presence, so he gave his shopping list of supplies to Zoe and Mal and Wash when they went out and Wash had his first impulse to scream aloud when Mal said that he'd take care of the medical supply run.
"No point in stressin' him any more," Mal said. "I know what he's looking for. Come get me in half an hour."
Yeah I bet you know what he's looking for, Wash thought. I bet you ran supplies for him the whole time you were on Argabuthon and everyone in town thought you were the most attentive husband they'd ever seen.
Mal returned to the ship with a crate full of restock for the medbay and a tiny container of what soon proved to be silver needle jasmine tea.
If Simon has a mug of tea to accompany his inventorying I swear to God…
And of course he did. What else did Wash expect, honestly? He just wished someone else would acknowledge what was going on.
Their next job was the usual; cargo smuggled on behalf of someone who didn’t want to pay tariffs, and the spoils were delivered on time and without any trouble. That meant they were free to have a bit of down time as they searched for a new job. Mal looked for a few hours before passing it off to Zoe, and Wash did his best to be present and supportive as his wife slogged through postings and bulletins and rumors. Eventually, Zoe ended her work for the night and decided she'd head to bed. Wash wasn't quite ready to go to sleep, so he figured he'd take a bit of a shift at the controls before calling it a day.
Mal and Simon were sitting in the lounge area in silence when Wash entered the galley, so deep in concentration over a card game that they barely glanced up at him. There was one mug on the coffee table between them: gin—or at least partially gin—going off the bottle on the dining table. Wash fixed himself up a bowl of snack mix and watched them out of the corner of his eye as they continued playing without speaking, one of them occasionally pausing to take a sip before handing the mug to the other. He'd once heard someone say that sharing a straw was like kissing in public and couldn't help but think that might have been what was going on here.
It was frankly getting unbearable to witness.
It would have been one thing if they were just doing a little too much PDA in the galley or being sickeningly cute during crew meetings. Wash knew how to deal with that sort of thing; he knew how to tease a friend in love. He had jokes and bits that were tried and true when it came to poking fun at a new couple. The fact that they were pointedly not being openly affectionate and instead were balancing on a rope of still snapping at each other over everyday logistics as well as having peaceful moments of very strange intimacy was starting to grate on Wash's nerves.
How long could they pretend it wasn't happening? It would have been cruel, had Kaylee not been aware of it. As it was, the whole thing was just deeply sad in a way that Wash couldn't entirely understand.
He tried not to think about it when they had a bit of a break on Turrent's Moon; this was his time to relax and spend time focusing on his own very satisfying and stronger-than-ever relationship, not lose sleep worrying about whether or not his coworkers were acknowledging the fact that they were in love. The boarding house on Turrent's Moon had a great pub on the first floor, and the rooms were cheap but clean and cozy. Wash and Zoe headed upstairs after their meals and a few drinks, and Wash stepped out for a moment to see if the large vending machine in the hall had anything worth buying. He picked a few candy bars, two cans of tea, and a pack of novelty condoms; foregoing the cigarettes and flip flops, before he started back to their room. Before he could get very far, Mal and Simon appeared at the top of the stairs, arms slung around each other. They weren’t stumbling along drunkenly or anything, but they each had a looseness to their movements and let out the occasional snort of laughter that Wash had long come to associate with both of them being a few drinks in and they didn't notice him standing there. Wash watched with apprehension as the captain fumbled with a key fob, unlocked the door to the room right next door to the one Wash and Zoe had reserved, and pulled the doctor inside by his belt.
God, please let this boarding house have thick walls.
Wash was not so lucky.
For a man who seemed to whisper half of the words he spoke, Simon Tam sure had the capacity to really project his voice. Maybe it was just something that happened when he wasn’t paying attention.
Wash and Zoe decided they’d go back downstairs for another round of drinks.
“Do you think they’re done yet?” Wash mumbled, staring down into the dregs of his mojito. Zoe looked at him sideways.
“You sure are taking this whole thing in stride,” she said.
“I mean…they’ve been doing this for a while, right?”
“Right,” Zoe said, startled. “I mean, I don’t know how long they’ve been…well—“
“Knowing each other biblically? Since we went back and picked them up?”
“Yeah, that. But ever since they got back on board from Argabuthon the captain's been acting strange.”
“Really? The captain?" Wash asked. "I just had chats with Simon and talked about him a little with Kaylee, but the captain's been—?“
Zoe laid it all out then, practically stumbling over her words as she tried to get it all out as fast as possible in her excitement, or maybe because of her fourth whiskey sour. She talked about what she’d seen, which was very nearly completely different from what Wash had noticed. Mal being eager to get back to the ship when they were at bars and then sinking into sudden depressions when they actually got there, Mal clearly halfway to turning to Simon and asking his opinion on supply runs or job logistics before he remembered that he'd never done that on board before, Mal reaching for Simon and remembering just in time to stop himself, Mal not remembering to stop himself and putting a hand on the doctor’s waist to maneuver around him in the galley and medbay or a hand on his thigh under the table at dinner or even a hand the back of his neck to guide him through a crowd; protective and proprietary.
It figured that the captain would be a territorial nightmare of a partner. Wash was suddenly struck with a bolt of gratitude that it had never manifested into any hostility towards Kaylee for the brief period she and Simon had tried to work out a romance. He had a hard time picturing Mal saying anything nasty to his mèi mèi, but he also knew love could make people do incredibly odd things.
First-hand experience and all that.
"He was wearing a ring when I found him," Zoe said after a lull in her commentary. "He hid it quick, but he was walking around on Argabuthon with it on. I figured it was the usual story to excuse them living together, not that there'd been any actual relationship."
"This is what was going on with Simon's marriage," Wash said. "Remember? How he was all mopey about having to sleep alone?"
"Right, when you got drunk with him."
"Right. I just didn't think they'd get back to…" Wash gestured vaguely. "Being cozy with each other again."
"Is this the first time you've noticed them sleep together?" Zoe wondered.
"Well, it wasn't sleeping together, but I saw them swapping spit when we were in that bar on Santos."
"You didn't say anything about it."
"Last time I brought up Simon maybe being married, you looked really worried!" Wash insisted. "I didn't want to freak you out."
"I was worried only because of all that stuff the captain was doing. I wasn't sure at first if the captain was the one who got a little too attached or if Simon was. I wanted to make sure I knew if they were on the same page about their set up. I still don't know if they are, frankly."
"You're not sure if they're on the same page? I'm pretty sure they're inside each other right now."
Zoe didn't even blink.
"So? Who knows what they'll be acting like tomorrow?"
"True," Wash acknowledged. His wife certainly knew the captain best, even if knowing the inner thoughts of a man like that seemed like an impossible task. Something crossed his mind. "Oh. Does Inara—?"
"Inara knows," Zoe said. "I told her. I didn't want it to come out randomly and turn into a big bust up deal; better to control when and where she learned about it."
"Oh. I guess that's good. How'd she take that?"
Zoe sighed.
"Fine? She said that she'd thought Simon would have pursued someone with better hygiene and that she wasn't going to waste sleep over a man who got into fights so often, but…you know how Inara can be."
"She probably lost at least a little sleep," Wash finished. Zoe nodded.
"I don't think there's anything we can do about Inara's feelings," she said. "Of course I wish there were, but…it ain't really something that has an easy fix. And Kaylee—"
"Kaylee I think is taking it pretty well," Wash told her. "She said she was upset but I really think she meant it when she said she didn't blame Simon."
"Yeah…she's young," Zoe acknowledged. "Young and optimistic. I'm sure she'll be fine but it wouldn't hurt to be gentle with her." She sighed and slumped back in her chair. "This is what the captain meant when he told us that shipboard romances make running a ship more complicated than he likes, by the way."
"Hmm. Hypocrite."
"At least he's always been aware of the consequences this sort of thing can create."
"Oh, yeah, sure. But we didn't do this," Wash pointed out. "We didn't act like maniacs and have the whole crew worried we'd start yelling at them and drag two totally innocent women into our business. We were normal."
"Since when has the captain ever been normal?" Zoe asked, raising one eyebrow. Wash frowned at his glass and considered ordering another drink.
"Simon's normal."
Zoe's single raised eyebrow went even higher. She looked so hot when she did that.
"He's more normal than Mal!" Wash insisted.
"Well, I don't know about that. Listen, you know I'd follow Mal to the edge of the 'Verse, but anyone who climbs into bed with him really ain't right."
"We ought to say something. An intervention of sorts."
"Husband, the captain is not a child."
"Well, yeah—"
"He can figure out what he wants all on his own."
"Okay, sure. Fine, true. Even better: I think he's figured it out already! He wants the doc. And it's reciprocated! Wonderful! They should be smooching after jobs and sharing a bunk and not torturing themselves about it or hiding it like embarrassed teenagers. What's the point? I thought he wasn't religious anymore."
"What?"
"Isn't this the sort of thing religious people do? Deny themselves what they want because it's…too good, or something?"
"Hm. Well, I'm not sure if that's right, but I do have to agree that it feels like the captain is punishing himself. I don't pretend to be able to read his mind. But they also aren't us," Zoe said, and when Wash finished his eyeroll and looked back at her to say obviously, she looked sheepish. She noticed his confusion. "You know. The captain ain't ever gonna be the sort of man to be very public about affection or use pet names."
"Oh, well…he might—"
"Yeah? You can imagine him calling Simon baby?"
Hm. Well, maybe not. Maybe only if they were fighting and the captain really wanted to twist the knife. Not an impossible scenario.
"Maybe you won't notice when they decide they're going to make a genuine go of it," Zoe continued.
It turned out that Kaylee and Zoe were right. Big surprise. There wasn’t anything anyone else could say and there was never going to be any sort of grand gesture or confession or announcement with them all gathered in the galley. The only hint of ceremony or announcement really linked to the entire tangled mess came in the early afternoon on one slow day out in the black. Wash navigated them out of an asteroid field, switched on the autopilot, and walked down the steps to the crew bunk corridor to find River and Kaylee were in the vacant bunk, noisily vacuuming up the dust that had accumulated there. Wash's own plastic tote full of shirts that weren't his favorites and his collection of yo-yos was pushed against the wall next to the ladder down to his bunk.
"What's this?" He asked. Kaylee popped up the ladder and River turned off the vacuum.
"River's moving in here!" Kaylee said, beaming. "So…sorry! But you have to find a different spot for all of that." She pointed at the bin.
"I can manage that," Wash told her.
River and Kaylee made a whole day out of cleaning the vacant crew bunk and moving River’s things into it. Wash himself was given a tour once they’d finished their decorating session, listening as they pointed out the paper garlands that Kaylee had picked up on Three Hills and the calligraphy wall hanging that Simon had bought at Li Shen’s Bazaar and a little miniature tapestry that Inara had gifted River to celebrate her really having a place of her own. Wash oohed and ahhed and said absolutely nothing about the logistics of River having moved so far away from the passenger dorms. There was nothing unusual about dinner, and cleanup was normal and without remark.
When Wash made a quick loop down to check the passenger dorms once he was done with his after dinner cortex check, it felt like nearly everyone was there; Kaylee was in charge of whatever meeting was happening, and after a few moments, Wash realized they were making concrete plans to raise the ceiling of Book's room.
"You're sure you'll be okay all on your lonesome in the passenger dorms?" Wash asked the Shepherd as Kaylee pulled out a measuring tape and hooked Mal into helping hold it in place as she made marks on the walls with her flat pencil. Book smiled.
"It isn't like no one can ever come spend time here. Besides, it will be nice to have a little taste of the solitude that I used to have back at Southdown."
"Oh, that's good," Wash said. "Something better for reflection time without being interrupted."
"Exactly. And I think the new arrangements might make the general atmosphere on board a little more harmonious," Book said.
"I hope you're right," Wash muttered.
The crew didn't speak much about River's new room (or the fact that Simon was clearly no longer in the passenger dorm either); most casual conversation in the following days was about Book's renovations and the fact that the two-story layout of the passenger dorm sounded like it would be a nightmare if every single room was full. All in all, life just sort of…continued on. It felt weird to Wash; the day he'd met Zoe had felt like he'd suddenly righted a ship that had been in a never ending tailspin, never mind the first time they'd spent the night together or the day they'd gotten married. But Serenity just kept flying, and while maybe the captain was a little less snappish and the doctor was a little more relaxed, jobs were found and cargo was transported and bandits were dealt with and wounds were sutured like they always had been.
Wash tried to go with the flow of it; the fact that they'd clearly resolved whatever will-they-won't-they issue was a comfort, after all. He and Zoe traded off nights in town or nights on the ship with Mal and Simon. He plotted detours and adjusted to having Simon more present in the planning stages of jobs and prepped the mule, which was what he was about to do when he nearly walked into Mal and Inara mid-argument on the catwalk by the stairs that led down to the cargo bay.
"I get it!" Mal shouted. "Simon has terrible taste in men. What a disappointment! You thought better of him, et cetera, et cetera."
"That isn’t what I said," Inara snapped. "If you were listening—"
Wash turned on his heel and walked briskly back towards the bridge. Checking the mule could wait.
"Not a panacea," River said from where she was lurking, pressed against the wall next to the corner of the hallway. Wash jumped. He'd passed her without even noticing.
"No, I guess not."
"It won't be so sharp and bitter forever, either."
"Well, that's good. Uh…what can the rest of us do to make that happen as fast as possible?"
"Be her friend," River said plainly.
"Well, that's no hardship," Wash said. River nodded. "Is your brother happy, though?" He asked
"He'd like to go dancing," she said. "But otherwise he's happy."
"We can put some on over the loudspeakers and have a dance in the cargo bay," Wash told her.
"He'd like that. I think everyone would."
"You would," Wash said with a grin, pointing at her. "You can teach the rest of us some moves, how about that?"
She tilted her head to the side and looked at him for a long, appraising moment.
"Have you ever tried tap dancing?" She wondered.
"I haven’t."
"I think you would like it," she said, and then spun on her heel and was down the hall the next second.
Wash puttered around the bridge for a little while, cleaning up a little, rearranging the dinosaurs, and fixing a settings issue on the Cortex screen that had been bothering him for a few weeks. When he was done, he headed back towards the cargo bay to finally get the mule ready for their planetside outing that afternoon. Any arguments from earlier had fizzled out, and Mal was alone in the galley, eating what might have been an early lunch, so Wash was free to do his job.
They held their dance party about a week later as they were flying to Deadwood. Inara taught everyone a bit of tango, which Jayne seemed to have a natural knack for. Kaylee set them up in a square and called a square dance that included pretending to be a bird at random intervals. Mal and Simon showed that they'd become quite adept at a honky tonk two step. River taught Wash a little tap routine and she turned out to be right; he did really like it.
“I’ll teach you more once you get that part down,” she told him. “And then you can put on a show!”
After the rest of the crew tired and left the cargo bay to start heading to bed, Wash put on one of his and Zoe’s favorite albums and they had a bit of their own, more private dance party; some two step and swing that they sometimes broke out at a bar with a dance floor, a bit of waltzing that they’d picked up from Inara, and then just some slow swaying to the music.
“That was fun,” Zoe murmured as Wash turned off the music. “You gonna put on a talent show soon?”
“If my dance instructor says I’m good enough,” he said.
“She will. She’ll have a lot of fun teaching you.”
They turned off the lights and made their way upstairs in comfortable silence, moving slowly through the corridor to the galley, where they found Mal and Simon mid-lip lock on the sofa, Simon sitting astride the captain’s lap. Simon’s hands were on Mal’s chest and Wash was pretty sure half of the buttons on that dark red shirt were already undone.
“My goodness, gentlemen!” Wash exclaimed. “I think this might be an activity better suited to a bunk or at least a room with a door that closes.”
Simon jolted and started scrambling immediately, but Mal steadied him with a hand on his hip.
“Thought the two of you were in your bunk already,” he said.
“Heading that way, Sir,” Zoe said, practically not even breaking stride as she crossed through the galley and hopped up the few stairs to the crew bunk corridor, where she disappeared down their bunk ladder. Simon (beet red by this point) finally managed to stand and after Mal gave him a reassuring squeeze to the hip, he stumbled in the same direction. Wash held back for a moment until he heard Simon push his own bunk ladder open.
"So…"
"So?"
"Are you and Simon gonna make it official?" Wash asked. Mal looked at him for an uncomfortably long moment but Wash stood his ground and stared back, eyebrows raised.
"Can't," Mal said curtly.
"Can't?"
"I don't think they let you file official paperwork on the Cortex if you're a fugitive."
"Could do a ceremony," Wash pointed out. "Have the Shepherd say a few…" he trailed off at the look on Mal's face but steeled himself. "Have the Shepherd say a few words. Hey, maybe the doc would like it," he pointed out.
"Simon was raised Taoist," Mal said by way of excuse.
"Would it kill you to let us all have a party?"
"It might. You're worse than Kaylee," Mal told him.
"You don't want us to toast you?" Wash asked. Mal hesitated and for a moment he looked genuinely vulnerable.
Wash did not like it.
"Not yet," he said. "I don't think…don't jinx me. This ain't gonna be easy."
"No, of course not," Wash agreed. "But marriage has its perks. It's worth all of the rough parts."
"Yeah," Mal agreed, cracking a smile as he stood to follow Simon to bed. "I'm startin' to see that."