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“You are dating Batman!?” Lois shouted at him, and suddenly, Clark realized that his best friend might be scarier than most of the supervillains that he had faced.
“Yyy…Actually, I am dating Bruce, but he is Batman so…”
“Clark Kent!” the woman threw a pillow at him. “Why am I only learning about this today!?”
Clark sighed.
Why was she?
Maybe because he and Bruce were both disasters at this whole love thing? Clark was pining for his best friend for years now, staring after him, sighing on, jumping on each and every excuse to spend time with Bruce outside of the official League business.
He had thought he was alone in that.
But no!
Turns out that Bruce, THE Batman, Mr. I am darkness and ghost of the night, had some warm and fluffy feelings for him too. Clark was not going to lie, it was quite a revelation at the time, but now felt like the simplest fact to ever exist.
Bruce Wayne liked him. Romantically!
For a few months now, they had kept it on a down low, meeting up from time to time, having dinners and sex and actually talking to each other. They were dating. Such a simple word for the grandness of what it was, but it was so good.
Yesterday they talked about making it official, knowing that there were enough secrets in both their lives, and their relationship should not be one, especially before their families and friends.
And that's how Clark ended up on his best friend and best coworker, Lois’ sofa, clutching onto a red fluffy pillow and gossiping about his hot boyfriend.
“We wanted to just try it out first,” Clark explained out loud “No labels or expectations…”
“And now?
“Now we are ready to make it official,” Clark let a smile sneak onto his face “We are ready to tell people and be together. For real”’
“Oh my god,” Lois squealed, jumping on the couch, “Can’t believe you are dating Bruce Fucking Wayne!”
That’s when Clark cleared his throat, knowing that it was the moment to breach the subject that weighed on him.
“So… we are not like officially dating just yet”
“What do you mean?” the woman inquired, definitely switching into her investigative reporter mode.
“It… It might sound stupid but I learned about this tradition that was a big deal on Krypton” Clark looked down at his hands, hiding his blush from Lois “When you were… courting someone you are supposed to give out presents to their family. Kind of like a thank you for… For having a part in shaping someone that you admire” he said, knowing quite well, that ‘admire’ was far too light of a word for what he was feeling“I know it’s stupid but I was thinking… Since my parents could never know him… And… I don’t know, maybe I shouldn’t-
“Clark,” Lois stopped him, and moved from her spot to sit right by Clark. Her hand lifted to his shoulder in an encouraging gesture “I think it’s a great idea, honey”
“Really?”
“Really” she assured him “I think his family would appreciate it as well”
Clark looked at her.
She was truly one of his best friends since he moved to Metropolis, trustworthy and loyal. And true, they have dated for a while, but for both of them, it was clear they were better off in a platonic relationship. Hugging her was much more enjoyable then when they tried making out. And much more comforting.
And that is exactly what he needed right now.
Clark swayed to the side, his arms coming around the woman’s lithe figure and embracing her.
“Thanks, Lois” he whispered.
The woman just hugged him tighter, her hand coming up to ruffle his hair. They stayed like that for a few minutes, watching headlines on the TV that Lois had muted before they started talking.
Suddenly, she had pulled away, clapping both her hands on her knees as she stood.
“Okay, Kent!” she exclaimed, and pointed a finger in his face. “No more whining and bitching. If this is important for you we need a game plan!”
Clark blinked with confusion.
“Game plan?”
The woman stared at him with hands on her hips.
“Well, do you already know what would be a meaningful gift to each of those guy’s loved ones?”
“Um…No?”
That’s when the woman walked over to the desk on the other side of the room and grabbed at the rolling whiteboard she had kept there. Lois tugged on it, and with damage to a few piles of books around, she managed to bring the board to the middle of the room, and wiped away anything that was on it.
“Is the whiteboard really necessary?” Clark asked carefully.
“Shush you!” she threw him one of the markers and then turned to the board, spelling out as she was writing “Operation…Superbat!”
“Lois-”
“Get your ass in gear, cause the best research expert in Daily Planet is on the case!” she shouted and Clark knew there was no going back from it.
“Okay…” he stood up from the couch and stood by her side. “So… where do we start?”
“Well…Maybe with who exactly our targets are?”
“I think… I think his kids,” Clark said, “I have a few gift ideas for most of them.”
“Okay…” Lois nodded as she wrote ‘What are the names?”
“Damian, Jason, Tim, Cassandra…” Clark listed, “And Dick…”
***
Dick was exhausted.
Since he moved to Bludhaven with the hope that he could help the city bring down those skyrocketing crime statistics, as both Detective Grayson and Nightwing, his sleep schedule was fucked up. Probably even more fucked up than Tim’s, and hell that was a difficult thing to achieve.
It was now a quarter after nine, and he had just come back from the station, where he spent hours filling out the reports. He didn’t appreciate what the police did back in Gotham because he wasn’t the one writing a four-hundred-word explanation on why Nightwing left those criminals hanging on the ropes from the ceiling.
Well, at least he left them alive.
Dead criminals were much more paperwork.
Dick sighed as he left the elevator on his floor and with heavy steps, reached the door to his apartment. He didn't even have the strength to put away his bag, so it had just landed on the carpet, as Dick flung himself on the sofa, his face smushed into a pillow.
Maybe he could just rest for 20 minutes before going for the patrol?
Just a few minutes, he thought as his eyelids felt like closing, and the clarity of mind escaped from him. The warmth of the apartment could have almost lull him to sleep, but then-
Bzzz!
The buzzer by the door sounded in Dick's ears.
“Ugh…” he groaned, knowing that he should stand up.
Who would even be at his door at this hour? Dick wasn’t expecting anyone, and his family had this lovely habit of just going through one of the windows or the balcony instead of using the door, so whoever was outside couldn’t be one of the Waynes. So who…?
Dick opened the doors and froze.
“Wally?” he stared at his boyfriend’s face hypnotized, and stepped forward to greet him with a kiss on the cheek “What… What are you doing here?”
“Honestly…” Wally frowned “No idea.”
“What?”
Dick scanned him with his eyes.
Wally looked slightly dazed and confused, and Dick’s first thought was that maybe he had been attacked or something. Brainwashed maybe? Or maybe Ivy had another trip beyond Gotham? Shit, some of those pollens of her’s were really fucked up…
But other than some hazy look, Wally appeared all fine.
“Well,” he spoke finally when Dick tugged him into the apartment and closed the front door, “Five minutes ago I was studying for that exam I told you about… and then Superman flown into my dorm, said that he canceled the exam cause the Professor owes him a favour, whatever that means, and then brought me here and gave me, yyy… this?”
Wally raised the paper bag to Dick’s line of sight.
“Superman gave you Taco Bell and left you on my doorstep?”
“I… guess so?”
What the hell, Dick thought.
Was that some kind of message? What was Clark even trying to say with that? Dick knew the alien for years now, but sometimes his actions were still quite cryptic. And weird. But kind of nice? Taco Bell was his favourite food after all, and, well, Wally was his favourite human.
So yeah, nice but still kind of weird.
“Did he say anything else?”
Dick pulled out his phone, with a plan to call Clark for some kind of explanation, and that’s exactly when the device buzzed in his hand. Even though this situation was already ridiculous, Dick could not expect that this was going to be a message waiting for him.
‘I got the Bludhaven for tonight :)) Enjoy the tacos and some sleep!’
His jaw dropped, and his thumbs moved to type back.
‘Clark??’
‘What the fuck???’
An answer appeared immediately;
‘Don’t swear Richard.’
‘And just take your opportunity to rest up <3’
Dick just rolled his eyes.
Clark spent so much time in the Waynes’ home in the last few years that he had picked up on a few annoying habits of the family. One of them was Alfred’s, calling Dick and his siblings with their full government names or Bruce’s insistence on everyone not swearing out loud. Apparently, another thing that Clark picked up was snubbing his nose into everyone’s business.
Dick was about to swear at him some more, and maybe give him shit for kidnapping Wally, but…
But his boyfriend was here after days of not seeing each other, with food that Dick did not have to spend time on preparing and a very cozy bed waiting for them…
Ugh.
‘Are you sure?’
Dick texted again.
‘It's a gift, kid’
The answer came.
‘you can go back to somersaulting from the buildings tomorrow.’
Well… in that case.
Dick shot a cheerful look in Wally’s direction, making the man raise his eyebrow in question.
“What?”
“Lose the clothes, babe.” Dick took the paper bags and put them on a table as he crowded his boyfriend into the wall. “Supes got the patrol, and we got a gift of a free night. I think I have a few ideas on how I wanna spend it…”
Wally beamed.
And Dick had a whole night of kissing that smile off of his face.
***
Whoever came up with the idea of people being ‘early birds’ was on Cassandra’s black list.
It was now eight in the morning, and Cassandra wanted to take an opportunity out of her college having a day off. She was supposed to sleep till noon and then have breakfast in peace and quiet with only Alfred as her company, when Damian was in school, and Tim and Bruce, busy with their day job - Wayne Enterprises.
It theory it was a great plan.
In practice, someone was making so much noise downstairs that it made Cassandra’s skin crawl. She truly loved her brothers, but if it was any of them interrupted her slumber, they better be ready for some not-so-friendly sparring.
The noise led her down the stairs, along the portraits of her family, and further into the left wing of the mansion. The banging grew louder as Cassandra stopped in front one of the doors and threw them open.
“Who is-!” unusually for her, Cassandra raised her voice, but upon seeing inside of the room, the anger slipped away from her “Oh.”
There in the middle of the room, surrounded by toolboxes and wooden stacks, was Clark Kent, Bruce’s long time friend, and, as Cassandra recently learned, Superman himself.
“Hi, Cass!” Clark greeted her “Sorry, did I wake you?” he asked as he scanned her, and only then did she notice that she stomped in here still in her pajamas.
“Yes”
“I am so sorry dear. I thought you were in school.” his tone sounded apologetic, and then raised an eyebrow at her “Free day?”
Cassandra nodded and then stepped further into the room.
She knew that years ago, back when Bruce was still a little boy, his parents used this space as a ballroom, inviting all of their friends to dance and drink expensive wine. After they died, it stood mostly abandoned, and anytime Bruce hosted anything of importance, he would choose a different venue.The room stayed here, mostly unopened, besides Alfred coming in to dust the golden frames of paintings.
No one has danced here, since Martha and Thomas passed away.
That is, until Cassandra moved in.
The girl was raised as a weapon, without words or likes. She had thought it was normal and was ready to comply with her life mission as a silent assassin, but then Bruce found her. Took her in, and did everything he could for Cassandra to feel like she was a real person.
He and Tim were the ones to help her with discovering what a hobby was.
She explored quite a few, like sports but they were far too loud and reminded her too much of her father’s practices. Then it was reading, proposed by Jason, but Cassandra didn’t really find it that much interesting. It was when Tim tested different genres of music with her that she decided she liked the classical pieces most.
But listening to it was not enough.
So Bruce took her to her first ballet class, and Cassandra fell in love.
Since then, she had attended classes four times a week, and in the days without classes, she would just dance on her own. Suddenly, the Batcave felt like the most grand of stages, as Cassandra closed her eyes and pirouetted through the training floor. When her siblings started grumbling about her hogging the practice space, Bruce showed her the ballroom and said that it was hers.
It was probably the best gift she had ever received.
The room sounded once again with pieces of Mozart, Tchaikovsky and Chopin accompanied by the soft thumps of Cassandra’s ballet shoes.
However, around one week ago it all went to shit, when Damian’s mother decided to visit.
Cassandra was never the one to swear at people or talk to strangers, but even she was angry enough to call that woman a bitch to her face. Her stupid assassins broke into the mansion through the ballroom and fought her, Damian and Bruce.
And it’s not even like they were trying to kill them! No!
Talia just decided to kick off her quarterly visit with her son with what she called a ‘friendly’ fight, during which the assassin’s blades and flying bodies completely destroyed the wooden floors, shattered mullioned windows, and cracked the vintage silver mirrors. Cassandra had to be held back from killing the she-devil.
Bruce promised to fix it as soon as he could, but Cassandra knew that with the specific adornments and the size of the room, it would be at least weeks before she could dance here again…
But now?
Now the room looked brand new, and honestly, even better than before. The mirrors were bigger, and there was a bar mounted on half of the wall just like in her ballet class’ studio. Cassandra looked at the floor underneath her, and her feet absentmindedly tested a part of her favourite choreography.
The room was perfect again.
Cassandra smiled a little as she looked back at Clark, who answered with a grin on his own.
“Do you like it, Cass?”
The girl nodded enthusiastically.
“Oh and also…” Clark moved to the wall with the beam. “Bruce mentioned you didn’t have this before, and it helps with warm-ups for ballet. I underestimated the size of the wall so for now it's only half, but I sent Kon to pick up the same one.” The man turned to her “Do you wanna test if it’s the right height for you?”
Cassandra took a few steps to stand next to him, and put her hands on the beam and tried out the start of her usual warm-up. It was perfect.
She turned to Clark again and shyly inched forward to him, hugging the man.
“Thanks, Clark”
The man hugged her back.
“You’re welcome Cassie”
***
A few days later in Gotham it was raining.
A surprise, right?
Jason pulled his hood tighter around his head and tried to walk underneath the shops’ overhangs. Stupidly, he did not bring the jacket last night, and he had no back-up clothes in the safe house that he had spent the night in, so now he was left to face the weather in just a sweatshirt.
If he woke up earlier, maybe he could manage the trip back to his flat downtown, but he overslept and even without the detour, he was now going to be cutting it real close.
He had promised the kids in the orphanage he was helping out at, that he would figure out a little watch party for them for Children's Day. It was supposed to be Disney movies just like in a theater, so Jason even managed to borrow a beamer from the mansion and download some of his favourite cartoons.
It was going to be awesome.
Jason had run up the stairs of the building from red brick, and took off the soaked material as soon as he got through the door. The common room was in the back, and as he walked in, he was happy to see it already set up.
“Jason!” one of the kids noticed him “You are here!”
“‘Course I am kiddo” he reached down to ruffle the boy’s hair “Wouldn’t miss our movie day!”
“Jason, did you bring Raupanzel?” one of the girls asked.
“And the dragon movie!?” another boy demanded.
The kids swarmed him, and Jason laughed.
His eyes searched for the kids’ guardian, a woman that he had saved as a Red Hood - Ruth. She was the one keeping this whole orphanage afloat, and worked her butt off for the kids. She had also kind of reminded Jason of his mother…
“Hey, Ruth” he greeted her with a one-arm hug “Nice arrangement you got there” he said and nodded at the piles of blankets and pillows thrown around the sofas and bean bags.
“Pretty nice, right?” the woman answered cheerfully as she took the beamer from his hands “By the way some guy left a package for you. Did you order anything for the kids?”
Jason frowned.
“A package?”
He didn’t do any online shopping lately, and even if so, why would he write down the orphanage's address for the delivery? Usually, when he had something for the kids he would just bring it along for one of his visits. So what the hell was in the box?
Ruth led him to the back of the room and pointed before going back to set up the projector.
The package was rather large, from a simple brown cardboard, held together with a tape. For a short moment, a shiver went down his spine at the thought that it might be something dangerous. It had still lingered, along with the imagined sounds of soft ticks as Jason opened the box.
Jason was even more confused as he lifted up the lid.
What?
The box was filled to the brim with colorful plastic packets. Some of them were candies, other little chocolates with toys for kids inside, and on the bottom there were even some popcorn and pretzels bags. There were even a few of his favourite chocolate bars. It was enough to feed an army, or most likely for him, a swarm of little children.
On top of it all there was a card that Jason grabbed at.
“Happy Children’s Day, Jase, hope you and your friends have a sweet day!”
What?
Who sent it?
There was no name, initials or any other clue to whom it might have been from, but… ‘Jase’? It was a nickname that Bruce used for him sometimes, but the handwriting did not match. So that left the only other person who wasn’t scared to nickname him.
Jason looked for the contact in his phone, and didn't even need to wait for a second ring.
“Hello, Jason, how are you?” Clark’s voice sounded on the line.
“Did you send me candy?”
Jason felt just a little bit childish asking a question like that with a whine.
“Oh! Did it get there on time? Great to hear!”
“Supes, the hell? No name on the note? I thought it was a bomb!” he hissed to the phone so the kids did not hear him. “How did you even know I am here today?”
“Sorry, maybe I should put the name down for the next time…You know, I just heard Bruce talking about you doing the movie day for the kids, and… Well, I thought some snacks for you and them could be a nice gift?”
Jason didn’t really know what to say to that.
It was still kind of weird knowing that his family… cared for what he was doing here. And Bruce talked about it to other people? He talked about it to Superman? And Superman liked it enough to help? It was kind of… nice.
“It… It is nice” Jason said finally “Umm… Thanks?”
“No worries! Enjoy your gift, and let me know if the kids would ever need something.”
“Okay” Jason murmured, “But I don’t need help. I got those kids back.”
“I know you do, Jase. I just hope that you know I’ve got yours. Have fun with the movie day, bye!”
And then the phone disconnected.
Huh.
There were a lot of people that failed Jason, his real father, the workers in the system and… And Bruce. Jason was still dealing with that, logically knowing that Bruce tried his best but emotionally still keeping him responsible for all that had happened after Jason had died.
They were working through it, okay?
He really wanted to be able to fully trust his Dad again, so… So why not start with believing in his closest friend who left Jason some candy? Yeah, maybe… maybe he could.
Jason picked up the box and turned around to the group of kids.
“Hey! Does anyone want snacks?”
At that, thirty little voices sounded like one.
“Me!”
***
“Okay” Lois wrote down the gift ideas for the three kids “So Dick, Jason, and Cassandra we have down”
“Yeah,” Clark nodded, “Bruce mentioned that Dick seemed tired lately and that the assassins’ break-in really got Cass down. Also, I think that the orphanage is way more important for Jase than he lets everyone know.”
Lois took a sip from her wine glass before tapping the marker on Tim’s name.
“This is the one who is dating Connor, right?”
“Yes” Clark confirmed, “He is a great kid, I will ask Kon what would be best for him”
The woman wrote down Conner’s name below Tim’s and then moved on to Damian’s.
“So that just leaves the youngest.”
“Yeah,” Clark took a sip from Lois’ glass, “Damian might be a tricky one…”
***
The Alien requested a meeting with him and Damian was unsure of its purpose.
He wasn’t sure what it could be about. Did Superman need any backup? Damian could easily provide it of course but he rather doubts that he would be the man's first choice for a mission companion. Why didn’t he ask Father? Father was friends with the alien. Or Timothy. Yes. Drake had a soft spot for the Kryptonians so why not ask him?
Maybe he knew that Damian’s support was far superior.
That’s why Damian was now standing in full gear, mask on, on the top roof of the Wayne mansion, waiting for Superman to appear. Fortunately, the Alien was rather punctual, hanging in the air above right on time.
“Damian, hi!” the man greeted him, but then an unsure smile appeared on his face. “Why are you in your costume?”
Damian frowned.
“Because of the lack of purpose in your invitation, I took an educated guess and concluded it was something to do with a mission of sorts” the boy said and crossed his arms “Isn’t it?”
“Oh” Clark looked down on his own outfit. “Yeah, maybe I should have been clearer about the dress code. Do you mind having a quick change?”
The boy huffed.
“Is the plaid shirt a necessary part of the attire?”
“No, Damian,” the man said and landed on the roof “Put some sweatpants might make you more comfortable.”
“Well, if you insist,” Damian walked toward the door leading inside. “Maybe Drake has some peasant clothes I can borrow.”
The boy changed quickly after actually stealing a pair of material pants from Tim and a crewneck, which maybe once was Greyson’s or even Todd’s, Damian wasn’t sure. What counted was that he had still looked presentable and was not going to be uncomfortable wherever the Alien was taking him.
He went back to the roof, and after a few moments of grumbling about the chosen method of transportation (which was Damian on Superman's back) the pair was on their way.
They flew for quite a while, leaving the East Coast pretty quickly. The patches of green grew underneath them, into large forests, cut by the glistening blue ribbons of the rivers. The warmth of the sun outside Gotham and the soft wind against his face made Damian sleepy, and he was never going to admit that he might have taken a nap on the flying Superman.
When the thump of their landing made Damian open his eyes back up, he was surrounded by yellow fields and a clear sky.
“What are we doing here?” Damian asked, “It looks like the middle of nowhere.”
“Close,” Clark smirked, “We are in Kansas, maybe 30 miles away from the town I grew up in. Come on”
Clark started walking down the road of white gravel, and Damian followed.
After a few hundred meters, the fields of corn were no more, and wherever the boy looked, he could see green meadows filled with horses and cows. The further they went Damian could spot more animals, first a few goats, then some sheep and when they had finally noticed a house at the end of the road, which was most probably their destination of choice, a fluffy dog trotted up to them.
Damian thought it must have been some type of shepherd dog that guarded the property, but just as he reached the boy, the dog fell on its back, showing off his belly.
“I think someone wants belly rubs,” Clark laughed at the animal “How is that for a mission, Damian?”
The boy kneeled down and patted the dog’s belly. He was probably a fine guardian of the estate, and just sensed that both he and Kent were noble in their intentions. Very smart dog that was.
“Rico!” Damian looked up to see a woman walking up to them, and as she yelled what must have been the dog’s name, the fluffy hound ran up to her. When Rico was by her legs, the woman smiled at them widely, “Clark! It’s so good to see you!”
“Likewise, Lana,” the man answered and hugged her quickly, “It’s been too long”
The woman patted him on the back and then turned to Damian.
“And who did you bring with today?”
“Damian,” the alien gestured at him “This is my friend Lana Lang, she is a veterinarian and she works here on this farm. Lana, this is Damian, and he is my friend’s son. He is interested in animals so I thought I could show him this place.”
“Oh that’s lovely,” Lana beamed, and turned back to Damian, “Do you have any pets on your own, sweetheart?”
Damian fought the urge to frown at the nickname; he did not like those very much, but this woman seemed very kind, and clearly smart if she was a veterinarian. He decided to let it slide.
“I have a cat,” he said “And a cow. She lives in our garden.”
“I must show you, Daisy, then! She is our newest calf, still tiny and loves to cuddle!”
Damian smiled at that. He wouldn’t mind cuddling with a cute cow.
“That would be great, Lana,” Clark chimed in “I was also wondering if you wouldn’t mind giving Damian a little tour?”
“Of course! Follow me”
As much as Damian was apprehensive of today, he ended up really enjoying the tour.
It turned out that Lana Lang was not working in a simple animal clinic, and the farm was more of a rescue center.
They had a team of veterinarians, some specializing in pets, and some working mostly with livestock, like Lana. She explained that she was surgically trained, and thanks to the center she could offer her services to local farmers for a lower price, making the care for such animals more available and affordable. As a result of that there were now many fewer abandonments or neglect cases in the area.
The center had a team of volunteers as well, who would mostly care for the animals, walk the dogs or even ride the younger horses. Others would work in the field, looking for a forever home for each of the animals that were deemed healthy enough to take on a new owner.
Damian was quite frankly amazed.
“And what about the animals kept in bad conditions?” he asked Lana at the end of their trip. “Do you have someone taking care of that?”
Lana sighed.
“We are trying our best, but there are not a lot of lawyers in Kansas that would like to work pro-bono for animal rights,” she said. “For now, we can only check and hope that the sheriffs will care enough to listen to us”
“Hmm…”
Damian sat in a criss-cross, now petting the little cow as he was promised. She was really cuddly, and as soon as Damian sat on the hay, Daisy went up to him and lay her head on top of his legs. The boy was still sitting on the ground, lost in his thoughts, when Lana excused herself to help out with an emergency.
“So how did you like it here?” Kent asked him, sitting down to give Daisy some more pets.
Damian hummed.
“I assume that this whole trip has something to do with my argument with Father” he stared up at the alien “I did not know he was going to bother you with it. I apologize in his name.”
Clark’s expression softened.
“He was just worried about you,” the man said. “Caring for animals is a good thing, but if it leads you to stealing pets of every criminal in Gotham and bringing them into the mansion, it might become dangerous.”
“I am Robin,” he muttered, “Some silly criminals are not dangerous to me.”
Clark nodded along before saying;
“I meant that it is dangerous for Alfred’s roses. I heard that the BatCow might be even more fond of them than he is”
That made Damian huff with laughter.
“She likes the colors, I think.”
“And so would her family, but you can’t bring a bunch of cows to your house, even if their owners are not so great,” Clark lectured him, but somehow it did not sound as condescending as when other adults would scold him. “Instead… You could maybe get Batcow's family here?”
Damian perked up at that.
“That’s… That’s actually a great idea.”
“Yeah, I thought so,” Clark agreed. “Also you Dad mentioned you had some troubles choosing your advanced subjects for the next year, so I thought that Lana could be some inspiration for you. Actually, when you were feeding the horses, she asked if you would be interested in volunteering this summer. This way, you could decide which is more interesting to you, the veterinary or the legal aspect of animal rights, and Bruce probably wouldn’t mind you staying with my parents and Kon.”
Huh.
That would actually be really nice, Damian thought. Since Father brought him to Gotham, taking him away from a certain future of an assassin, he found himself actually excited of what the future may hold. He knew that he would want to inherit the mantle of the Batman, but Wayne Enterprises…
He wasn’t really interested in taking it over after Father. Drake could have that one, he had a brain for it or whatever.
The job at a place like this farm sounded more fun. Animals were much less stupid than humans, and Damian liked to think he would do great fighting for them in a court and sending stupid cruel fucks that treated them badly to jail.
This…
This would be great.
“I think I would really like that,” he had said finally, “Thanks… Thank you, Clark. Today was really enlightening.”
“It was a really nice day for me too, Damian,” Clark smiled at him. “Now how about we ask Lana when I should bring that cow family of yours to her?”
***
“Okay so we have ideas for all the kids” Lois grinned, but then a frown appeared on her face as she looked back to Clark “Wait he only has five, right?”
“Well…”
The woman’s eyes went wide.
“No way, there is more!?” she looked back into her phone, scanning the article “There is no other kids mentioned in any of the articles as of late”
Clark huffed as he wrote down two more names.
“They are not officially his daughters, but he treats them like his own… They are part of the family.”
“Okay” Lois read his messy scribbles, “So what do you have in mind for Barbara and Stephanie?”
***
Barbara has just finished some paperwork when her eye caught on the silhouette of her Dad walking by her office.
“Dad!” she called after him, and then placed her hand on the side of her wheelchair to go after him.
Fortunately, he stopped as soon as he noticed her in the corridor.
“Babs, darling, what’s going on?
“Nothing much” she smiled up at him “I was wondering if you have some time for lunch now. Wanna make a drive for a BatBurger? Extra sundae dessert?”
The man grinned and wagged his finger at her.
“You are a bad influence, young lady” he laughed “Just let me grab my coat”
The man walked back to his office and disappeared for a while long enough for Barbara to check her phone. She went through Instagram, liking Cassandra’s new post from her renovated ballet studio and checking out the new charity initiative in Damian’s name.
It looked pretty cool.
That’s when her Dad came back and they could get going. Barbara called the elevator, and after they went in, Commissioner Gordon pushed the button, but instead of pushing the button for the garage level like Barbara had expected, the man tapped the ‘GF’ button.
“Dad, aren't we going to the garage?” she asked quickly.
The commissioner frowned.
“It’s a lovely day, Babs, why not have a nice stroll?”
Barbara grimaced.
She would actually really like a walk in the sun, but there was one obstacle in her way.
The lack of fucking wheelchair ramp.
Since the accident that cost her the ability to walk, Barbara worked hard, learning every day on how to move through her new reality. Unfortunately, her stubbornness and strong will was not always enough to face the world as it was. Buildings that did not have elevators were almost unavailable to her now, just like gravel filled parkings or narrow hallways…
And so was the level zero of her own place of work.
She had petitioned for adding a ramp a million times, but the answer was always the same: the city had other priorities at the moment. Her unofficial godfather, Bruce, even offered to pay for the construction but to Barbara thai one thing was about the principle! The city was supposed to care for all of its citizens, including those with disabilities.
The elevator stopped at level zero and Barbara reluctantly followed her father outside to the main stairs.
And then she stopped in shock.
“Babs?” her father asked “What’s wrong?”
“The… The ramp!” she exclaimed pointing at the new construction “What the hell?! Since when is it here?”
“Oh, honey, did I forget to tell you?” Commissioner scratched at his chin “One of these days i’ll really forget my own head”
“Dad,” Barbara deadpanned at him, “The ramp?”
“Ah, yeah. There was this article in Daily Planet comparing the disabilities friendly architecture of Metropolis and Gotham, pointing out a few buildings specifically. One of them was the station” the man explained and huffed with laughter “Our current Mayor is not the best guy for the job, but you can’t deny him some pride. After the article got some traction with one of those social media platforms, he ordered the construction of all buildings mentioned in it. You kids and your Tweeties can really do some damage.”
“It’s Tweets, Dad” she corrected him, and pushed her wheelchair to the edge of the ramp “Do you… Do you maybe remember the name of that article?”
Barbara suspected one certain reporter…
“I think it’s those two kids who write about Superman,” the commissioner answered as he stepped down the stairs “ Lane and Kent”
Bingo.
Barbara went down the brand new ramp, and smiled the whole way to their lunch place, the sunshine hitting her freckled face. Only when she was finishing up with her caramel sundae, Barbara took out her phone and typed out the message.
‘Thank you, Clark.’
The sound of an answer chimed mere seconds later.
‘It was a pleasure, Babs, 🧡’
***
Stephanie had no idea who was calling her phone, but honestly, on such a boring, lazy Sunday in the middle of the summer like today, she wasn’t that much worried before picking up..
It was for the plot.
“Hello? Who's this?”
“Stephanie? This is Clark. Can you talk now?”
Stephanie frowned as she pulled away from the phone and stared at the screen. Why the hell was Superman calling her?
“Umm, yeah, I can talk. What’s up?”
“Do I remember correctly that you are interested in motorsport? I am pretty sure Bruce mentioned something like that”
Okay, now she was even more confused.
Superman called her after gossiping about her hobbies with Batman? This was a little bit weird, but at least Clark wasn’t wrong.
Steph loved motorsport.
She had a motorbike on her own of course, but besides MotoGp, she also liked watching the formula one races, nascar, and even IndyCar. It was probably also the only non-vigilante-related hobby that connected her to her sort-of-brothers, Jason and Damian. She was just not that much into Jane Austen or cows, okay? Cars she could do, sometimes the three of them would even have watch parties on Sunday!
So yeah It was safe to say that she enjoyed motorsport.
“Yeah, I do,” she answered finally, “Why do you ask?”
“My friend Jimmy from Daily Planet’s sports department has an on-track, private interview in New York today, with two drivers from one of those Formula teams… The red one I think? They will be driving him around in some vintage cars," Clark explained “I am driving him over either way so I thought… Do you wanna come with me and maybe meet them?”
Stephanie jumped up from her bed.
“Shut up!!!” she shouted into the phone “Really!? I can meet the Ferrari drivers?!! And maybe drive with them!?”
“Oh, yeah Ferrari, I forgot” Clark said “If you would like to go we can leave in about two hours-”
“YES!” Stephanie shouted into the phone, as she jumped around her room. Just before she disconnected the call, she yelled as a goodbye, “Thanks Clark you were always my favourite! I will be there in fifteen!”
***
“Those are solid ideas,” Lois patted Clark on the back “Kids done. Anyone else?”
“Alfred has to be on the list.”
“Who is Alfred… Wait, do you mean Wayne's butler? That British guy?”
“Hey! He is much more than just a butler!”
***
Alfred has seen many different, strange things during his time in Wayne’s mansion.
It started off with quirky scientists who fascinated Master Thomas with their crazy inventions, with few of them even exploding. The next weird phase was Master Bruce’s teenage years when he went through an eyeliner phase, which had nothing to do with being Batman. And, well, now with a bunch of teenage vigilantes under this roof, Alfred could expect just about anything.
Assassins breaking into an entertainment room was expected, aliens the dining room invited for breakfast was a norm, visitors from different dimensions… Well that happened much less fortunately, but it was still okay.
What was not okay was discovering a flour-covered Superman in his kitchen at the crack of dawn.
“Mr. Kent? Would you like to explain yourself to me?”
The man froze, with a spoon in his hand halfway from the fogged-up pot to his mouth.
“Oh, Alfred! Good morning!” Clark grinned with a nervous tint to his expression “I…” he looked around the kitchen at the spilled condiments and eggshells “I promise I will clean that”
Alfred hummed in acknowledgment and walked over to look into the pot.
It smelled heavenly, the man thought as his nose got a whiff of heated sour cherries, with lightly burned sugar and the fresh hint of lemon. The mixture in the pot looked quite familiar, and Alfred suddenly felt giddy.
“Could it possibly be a pie filling?”
Clark flashed him a smile.
“Yes!” he said and took another spoon from the drawer and dipped it into the pot “You should try some!”
Alfred accepted the spoonful of cherries and felt the glorious taste of one of his favourite treats, an American Cherry Pie. Who would have thought that Clark Kent was such a talent in the baking world.
“Very well balanced flavours," Alfred admitted, and had to restrain himself from asking for some more of the divine mixture. “Delightful. Could I ask what the occasion is?”
“Oh no occasion. Conner told me that last time he visited my Ma gave him a pie for you guys and you really enjoyed it.” Clark answered cheerfully and went over to the oven, checking on the pie crust “ And also since you insist on feeding me every time I am here, it's only proper if I kick in with some dessert”
“It’s unnecessary,” Alfred assured him “But appreciated.”
They remained silent for a while, waiting for the crust to begin to brown, and as soon as it was ready Clark reached for it.
For just a second, Alfred’s instinct wanted to berate this young man, for his complete ignorance toward kitchen safety. Reaching into the oven with no mittens or at least a kitchen towel could only end in burnt skin, but not in Clark’s case. He was a Kryptonian, few hundred fahrenheit was no issue to him.
Alfred knew that it was a rarity for something to be truly dangerous for Superman, but he had still felt some form of parental concern for this invaluable man. He was such a nice gentleman, with manners and a sunny smile, Alfred could not help but treat him like family.
Actually, with how fond Master Bruce seemed to grow with the alien lightly, maybe the family label was not that far off…
“Last chance to add anything before assembling” Clark told him “Is the filling missing anything?”
“I don’t believe so,” Alfred told him, and watched as the younger man pieced together the pie, before putting it back into the oven for a few more minutes.
Clark then busied himself with cleaning, and Alfred, feeling rather out of place when someone else was working and not him, decided to make some tea for them both. The cubes of sugar, drowned in the Earl Grey at the exact same time that the younger man managed to get the kitchen back to its usual spotless self.
“Here, you go Mr. Kent” Alfred put the two mugs on the table “Would you care for a scone?”
“I am fine, thank you Alfred. But actually I have something for you, wait…” the man stood up and reached for his bag, from where his hand emerged back up holding a notebook “ You said once that you are not really an expert in traditional American desserts but you wanted to learn, so after Conner mentioned that you liked the cherry pie, I asked my Ma for few recipes that you might enjoy”
Alfred raised his eyebrows high as he reached for the notebook.
He did in fact want to learn some new recipes, but he found the ones on the internet lacking soul and true tradition. They just didn’t seem… authentic enough. But the full notebook of traditional recipes from a true midwestern woman? And also one responsible for that delicious pie?
Oh, this was a treat.
The pages were filled with handwritten notes, alternative ingredients and tricks. And the recipes? Ah, gooey butter cake, Michigan bumpy cake and… Oh, full page of different pie fillings. Bumbleberry, apples, cherries and apricots…
Yes, he could definitely start his journey with baking this way, especially if Clark Kent would be here to help him,
“Thank you so much Mr. Kent” Alfred told him “ I cannot wait to try another recipe during your next visit”
***
“I didn’t even know that Bruce Wayne had so many people so close to him” Lois counted the names on the board. “Guess I should have figured it out that he was a secret softie. After all you were best friends for so long.”
Another thought suddenly appeared in Clark’s mind.
“Mmm!” he hummed and the woman had to wait for him to swallow the crisps “I forgot about his best friend.”
“You mean… beside yourself?”
Clark laughed.
“I was Batman’s friend for much longer than I was Bruce’s,” he explained. “But there is one lovely lady who has held that title for years now,” he wrote down the name, and Lois gasped.
“What? Her?” she turned to Clark “Wait, didn’t they date for a while? He is friends with his ex”
Clark raised an eyebrow at her.
“Are we seriously the ones to judge something like that?”
Lois rolled her eyes.
***
Selina Kyle came back to her house late.
Even though her anti-hero persona had a day off tonight, the woman busied herself with an evening in Gotham's high society. She had even managed to drag Bruce along after months of his absence from the galas, even managed to make him play up his “Brucie” act and mess with a few old fucks at the event.
And today she even got some brand new gossip from her friend.
Apparently, Selina was one of the first to know that Bruce Wayne was an official of the market, locked down by the cute reporter with a… super side, if you will.
Selina found it adorable.
She had to meet that Clark guy soon, from what Bruce told her he was a cutie, and a one that would get flustered really easily… Selina loves making grown, handsome men blush like school girls.
She stumbled to the door of her apartment and opened it up.
Her designer fur was thrown on the grand piano in the foyer, together with the keys and her Birkin bag, as Selina walked into her apartment.
“Hello, little ones,” she purred as the swarm of her kittens came to greet her. “Did you miss, Mommy?”
She made it a point to scratch each and every one of them behind their soft ears and then went to the kitchen with a plan to eat some of the sushi that the private chef left for her. Maybe she could even share the salmon bits with her babies?
Yes, a great idea!
She walked into a room, but before she could even spot the fridge, her gaze landed on a big present box on the counter.
“Uhlala,” Silena sang and brushed the big satin bow with her long nails “And what… are you?”
The box was not of any designer clothing brand, nor with any logos that she would recognize, but the neat packaging and shiny materials were much to her liking.
The woman tugged on the bow, and the lid of the box fell away.
Then a soft meow followed.
“Oh, dear!” Selina exclaimed as she picked up a fluffy black little thing out of the box “Who are you baby?
The cat from the box looked so cute, with big grey eyes and shiny raven fur. It was so soft to the touch that Selina had almost melted at the contact. Her hand ran over the cat’s little belly, and then up to the neck, where she found a collar.
And oh, was it a beauty.
The leather band had crystals encrusted in it, and a dangling silver charm shaped like a bat.
Selina giggled and reached inside the box, finding a bottle of a very nice champagne with a card attached to the bottle neck. She opened the card and read the neatly handwritten note.
“Selina,
I found this sweet thing on the patrol and thought of a perfect new home for it. After all, you are the best friend a cat or a bat could ever have :) I hope to get to know you soon, and for now enjoy this little token of my appreciation.
With love, Clark”
Selina smiled at the paper and walked to the fridge to put the card up with a magnet.
“I like this Clark guy” she said to the kitten, as she hugged him closer “A man who gives good gifts is a true rarity, isn’t it?” Then she raised the cat to her line of sight, staring into his grey irises. “I think I am going to name you…” Her eyes caught on the charm again, and Selina smirked, “ I think that nothing will be more perfect than ‘Brucie’, right sweetums?”
The cat meowed at her.
“I am happy we agree! Let’s see if we have any good caviar left, huh?”
***
Tim always liked to think that he was smarter than most of his siblings. Maybe he wasn’t the strongest or most flexible; he wasn’t the one to master such weapons as katanas, shurikens, or guns, but he was the best detective, with a sharp mind and an eye for detail.
But as much as he would like to say that he had figured out what was going on because of his wits, just this time the thing that led him to solving this mystery was being an expert in Kruptonians acting weird.
When Tim had first noticed the Japanese care package, he was sure it was from Conner.
They were the ones to go on a trip to Japan over a year ago, and Tim had truly fallen in love with that country. The food was delicious, the drinks refreshing and the fifty different flavours of KitKats made Tim feel like he was in heaven. And the shops over there? Fuck, Tim was never much of a shopaholic but the amount of little trinkets and souvenirs he had brought back from Japan required them to buy another suitcase at the airport!
Over that year, all that Tim wanted to do was to go back, but between being the Red Robin and taking over as one of the most important executives in Wayne Enterprises, there was not enough time to take a proper vacation.
Sometimes, when Con wanted to surprise him, he would fly over to Tokyo and bring him some authentic sushi or Dango sticks, but even with him flying, it usually took at least half a day. This week, however, Tim knew that his boyfriend would be busy with senior projects in his school, ones that he could not afford to fail, so the package just could not be from him.
Tim walked closer to the desk, inspecting the treats inside.
There were a few boxes of sushi, some containers full of coffee jelly, Dango, Taiyaki and… Score! Matcha and coffee flavours of KitKats! Besides that, Tim found a few of his favourite skincare products, the seaweed shampoo that Con loved, and a soft hoodie from one of those amazing stores in Kyoto.
Damn.
Finally, on the side of the box he had found a card with a little anime-looking drawing of Superman on a keychain attached to it.
‘Hope that Kon was right about the favourites! Enjoy, Clark :)’
Clark.
Huh.
Tim’s brain kicked into high gear as he tried to figure out what it all meant and reached for his phone, opening the group chat he had with his siblings.
BatKidz
TimBit : Hey, has anyone got any gifts lately?
Steph: Gifts?
Dickie: What occasion? Did we miss someone's birthday?
TimBit: Gifts or like idk favours?
TimBit: From… Clark maybe?
Dickie: Yeah, kind of
Dickie: I got TacoBell and Wally on my doorstep 🥰
Steph: Superman got you laid? Damn bro
Steph: Clark is a great wingman. I met my celebrity crush thanks to him 💅
Babs: Are we all getting presents from Superman?
TimBit: So everybody got something?
Cass: Yes
Jason: I got a bunch of candy
TimBit: Damian?
Dami: Thanks to the alien, I am a proud member of an animal rescue group.
Dami: That probably counts as the offering you have in mind.
Jason: why does d demon child texts w proper grammar and periods and shit??
Damn.
Tim looked at the texts that had proven him right and his head almost exploded. There was no way that he was right… Right? But what else would it be then?!
TimBit: Guys…
TimBit: I think Superman is trying to date Bruce.
There was a moment of silence and then his phone exploded with notifications.
Dickie: WHAT
Babs: Oh my god
Jason: Ewww 🤮
Cass: ???
Steph: SUPERMAN AND BATMAN ARE FUCKING??!?1
Jason: EEEEEWWWWWWWW?!!??!?!?!
Dami: I believe that my eyes require thorough bleaching.
Dickie: Wait, Timmy, what even is that idea?
Jason: Yeah, Bruce is like 40 why would Supes date him
TimBit: Bruce is 38 and he was friends with Clark for the longest time.
Steph: Maybe, but dating?? Where did you get that one from?
Tim rolled his eyes.
TimBit: Its an alien thing, when kryptonians want to date someone they give presents to their family
TimBit: Kon did it too
Jason: He did??
TimBit: Yeah, why do you think he started getting magnets and keychains for you all from every other mission?
Steph: I just thought he knew I really like magnets?
Dickie: I just thought that he really likes magnets
TimBit: No. He was nice to you cause he loves me ❤️
Babs: Aww
Dami: So the Alien is trying to bribe us for Father’s hand?
Jason: Dick help demon child is speaking all old timey again
Dickie: I think he just wanted to be nice Dami
Dickie: Didn’t you like your gift?
Dami:...
Dami: I might have enjoyed it.
TimBit: So… Did everybody accept and like their gifts?
Jason: Eat it all
Dickie: Yup.
Steph: Yeah!
Babs: Same here.
Cass: Yes.
Dami: I suppose.
TimBit: Well, guys, I think we should get around to having a stepfather then.
Dami: Why does everybody in this family choose a partner who is either ginger or Kryptonian!?!??!?
***
“Okay” Lois stared at the whiteboard and pointed “So we got all the kids, the two girls he treats like his own, the father/butler, the best friend… Are we missing anyone else?”
Clark sighed and fell back against the sofa.
“Yeah, we are” he said, “But I am not sure how I can reach the last two…”
***
Today was the first snowy day in Gotham this year.
Not snowing as in filling the roads with that greyish slush, or the freezing wind blowing harshly as it rained, just truly snowing. There was already a thin layer of snowflakes decorating the ground, and some of them were dropping and melting right on top of the material of Bruce’s leather glove.
“Are you sure you are warm enough?” Clark asked as he looked at Bruce with a slightly worried expression on his face “Maybe I should come back to the house for a hat for you?”
“I am fine” Bruce squeezed his boyfriend’s hand. “Cold doesn’t bother me.”
Clark huffed and leaned toward Bruce to leave a small kiss on top of the man’s cheek.
“Sure thing, Elsa” he said, and Bruce shoved him playfully.
This Sunday morning was a rare opportunity for them, a peaceful moment of quiet, while all of the kids were still asleep, just like the city around them. Bruce woke up today, and after seeing snow outside the window and his lovely boyfriend’s face on the pillow beside his, he had decided to be brave.
And vulnerable.
And today, being brave and vulnerable, just as he wanted to be towards Clark, meant the early walk on the mansion’s grounds.
Bruce held onto Clark’s hand as they passed the pond that was just freezing over, then a large field that the kids sometimes used for sparring, fencing or a rare football game, and then they walked over to a small willow grove that most of the mansion's residents didn't even know about.
That was where Bruce intended for them to go today.
Snow covered the pathway, but Bruce did not need to see it to remember its exact placement. Their boots creaked over the snow before they tapped in a muted sound over the stones of the path.
“Where are we going?” Clark almost whispered.
That’s when Bruce pushed some of the willows’ withies to the side, revealing a disguised garden.
When he was small, he had thought that this place was enchanted, with a small gazebo that overlooked a lilies-covered pond on one side, and a flower garden to the other, all of it unknown to the world, hidden by the weeping willows and widespread oaks. His Mom would always say that it’s her secret garden, being the happiest when she could sit here and have a picnic with her family or read old books right here, in her favourite place in the world, no matter how many other wonders she had seen.
After she had died, Bruce knew this was the only place she could rest in peace forever.
“I thought that maybe… ” he said, and stopped in front of the two graves of white stone. “Maybe it was time for you to meet my parents.”
Bruce could hear Clark gasp.
Shit.
Was he being morbid and scary again? That had happened a few times before, when Bruce had gone all dark and ‘woe-is-me’ on his sunshine of a boyfriend, but with this… He was trying to be open about his past and all? Was it really that wrong?
Bruce stared up into Clark’s eyes, looking for an answer.
“I need to get something,” the man just said and Bruce frowned.
“What?”
“I’ll be quick, promise!” Clark said and stepped away, “Just stay here!”
And then he had flown away, leaving Bruce immensely confused.
There was a moment in which Bruce started questioning himself and this idea, the insecurity and self-doubt creeping in, but as soon as Clark had left, he had appeared again, with a wide smile and a bouquet in his arms.
“Sorry, I just had to grab these,” he nodded at the flowers and then looked back to Bruce. “They are for your parents, hope it’s fine?”
Bryce felt a lump build up in his throat.
“It’s fine” he croaked out.
With that approval out of his lips, Bruce watched as his boyfriend walked towards his parents’ graves and kneeled down. Clark put the flowers down next to the stone with Martha’s name, and then a small colorful-looking box next to Thomas’, and the longer Bruce had looked at both gifts, he felt the tears well up in his eyes.
“How… How did you know?” Bruce managed to ask “How did you know what to leave them?”
They were faultless gifts.
With the bouquet consisting of Martha’s favourite flowers, decorated with some smaller plants, satin ribbons, and hanging pearls that looked like they were dripping from inside the flowers, like small waterfalls. And the box? It was some sort of candle cover with sides looking like glass-stained windows, very artful and vintage looking.
So similar to his Father’s collection of ancient artifacts.
“Well, there was actually a lot of information on your parents in the newspaper archives. Daily columns loved them” Clark said “I found out from one of the articles that your Mom loved lilies and pearls, so the bouquet, and for your Father, I read that he was interested in Gothic architecture and… That science about gems and crystals?”
“Minearology,” Bruce supplied on an exhale.
“Yeah” Clark smiled “And then I found this lantern on my trip to Asia, it’s not glass, but different colors of crystals. I asked Zatanna to put a spell on both so they would not get damaged in the cold or wind. I thought it was perfect.”
“It is,” Bruce whispered and stepped to Clark's side, cupping his face in the gloved hands “But why?”
“I…I have this kryptonian thing” Clark scratched the back of his neck “I read that it’s cultural, but I think it might be a bit biological as well… Basically, when you are… courting someone, you give out gifts to their loved ones, so I wanted to do that.”
Bruce smiled.
“So what, you just got the gifts for my parents… When?”
“I wanted to leave the gifts on their graves back when I was doing the presents for the kids and Alfred, but I could not find them” Clark admitted, “I thought you didn’t want me to know then, so… I waited.”
“You gave out presents to everyone?” Bruce smirked, “You are turning into Santa or something?"
Clark wrapped his arms around Bruce’s waist now, and leaned forward to kiss him. It was a soft gesture, but full of devotion and admiration, as they tasted one another's lips, staying in that haze of silence and just the two of them, safe and happy, away from the messy world.
Next thing that Bruce knew was that Clark had pulled away, but only for an inch as he whispered.
“Not a Santa. Just someone who loves you”
Bruce smiled into the next kiss tugging his boyfriend’s face closer, turning this innocent kiss into something more overwhelming. His fingers slipped into the dark curls, and lips tasted Clark’s lower lip before he had to take another breath.
And as he looked into those striking, deep blue eyes, full of pure love, Bruce knew what to say. And he knew from now on, it would forever be his truth, kept safely within his heart.
“I love you too”