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“Hold still,” Hyunjin says impatiently. Both hands cupped either side of Felix’s face, holding him in place. “Do you want to be uneven?”
“It’s hard.” Felix frowns. “Are you done yet?”
Hyunjin drives a knee, hard, between his legs. Leans in, pressing the eyeliner back to trace the wing. Felix hooks an ankle around Hyunjin’s calf in answer. There are blonde strands caught in Hyunjin’s eyelashes, but he doesn’t blink.
“It tickles,” Felix complains.
Hyunjin shoves his knee harder. Felix makes a soft, helpless sound, grinning when Hyunjin wrinkles his nose. Felix only ever settles when he’s held down.
“Done.” Hyunjin drops the eyeliner into the sink. He grabs Felix’s face before he can move, turning his head from side to side, thumbing his cheeks lightly as he examines his work.
“Aren’t I good?” Felix pouts his lips slightly. “Say it.”
Hyunjin gives him an amused look. “Tch. Just fine.”
He steps back, and Felix slides off the countertop, spinning to face the mirror. Hyunjin drapes his arms over Felix’s shoulders from behind. Felix reaches up, both hands, to meet him.
“Look,” Hyunjin drawls. “Isn’t that pretty?”
Felix leans back, all his weight, until Hyunjin stumbles. “Left side’s uneven.” He draws out the words slightly, cute.
“Really?” Hyunjin narrows his eyes. “I don’t see.” He glances at his watch. “Party’s starting, Lix.”
Felix refuses to move on his own. Hyunjin has to pull him.
Jisung’s parties are always the same- high lighting, dark wood, expensive liquor. Just enough people to be too much. Felix grabs Hyunjin’s arm, and Hyunjin’s fingers close around his wrist as they weave through the dance floor.
They both like to feel like they’re leading.
“Ladies first,” Felix says to Hyunjin as Hyeri turns to take their drinks.
Hyunjin curls his lip. “Then order.”
Felix huffs a laugh. “Two tequila sunrises,” he says in English. “Thank you.” He glows at Hyeri as she rolls her eyes, turning back round.
“Thank you,” Hyunjin repeats, disdainful and amused. “People are going to think I’m growing domestic.”
Felix frowns. “What’s that supposed to mean? Are you trying to leave me?”
“And go where?” Hyunjin’s eyes reflect the row of cocktail syrups. “You’d follow.”
Felix pouts. Crosses his legs, one over the other. “Maybe I wouldn’t.”
Hyunjin gives him a hard look. “Try it.”
Felix watches the gleam of Hyunjin’s head as he turns back to the bar- platinum blonde, lending easily to the vivid lights. Hyunjin asked Felix to dye it for him a month ago. Felix straddled Hyunjin’s hips as he washed his hair in the sink.
Hyeri sets down their drinks with a clatter. Felix picks his up by the stem, admiring the bleed of red into gold. “Pretty.”
Hyunjin glances over, quick. “Haven’t done this in a while.”
He means the drinking, not the partying, because somehow, things happen when they get drunk. Felix hums and doesn’t answer. Watches as Hyunjin casts his gaze out across the floor again like a hook.
“Is that Changbin?” Hyunjin’s expression is languid.
Felix leans in to get a better look. “Ooh, I think so. Have fun, Hyunjinnie.”
“You too, Lix.” Hyunjin brushes the top of Felix’s head with his fingertips as he rises. “Don’t go far.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
He watches Hyunjin go, dragging a finger through the condensation on his glass. When it comes to drinking, Felix has learnt to pace himself- a consequence of too many times crashing unexpectedly over the edge.
Bubblegum snaps, just above Felix’s head. He glances up to see a pink-haired guy slide into the seat next to him.
“Beer,” he tells Hyeri with a sleazy grin.
Felix can’t help but tease. “How dull, Choi Yeonjun.” He knows him just by sight, but it’s good practice to act as if they’ve known each other forever.
Yeonjun gives him a half-smirk. “You drunk?”
“Not nearly enough.” Felix reaches out curiously, threading his fingers in Yeonjun’s pink hair. “Nice dye job, by the way. Who did it?”
“Asshole dongsaeng.” Yeonjun accepts his beer, takes a gulp. “Why are you all alone?”
“My friend left me.” Felix pouts. He watches Hyunjin’s blonde head, illuminated in the spinning lights, dip towards Changbin’s shoulder.
“The ulzzang, right? Hwang Hyunjin?”
Felix raises his eyebrows. “One way to put it.” One of a few. Ulzzang, heartthrob, Seoul’s most infamous playboy. Hyunjin picks up hearts like pennies and treats them the same way.
“He’s sucking face with Changbin,” Yeonjun throws out.
Felix pulls his hand back. “Yeah, so?”
Yeonjun glances at Felix over his beer. “You think they’re gonna fuck?”
Felix smiles. “No.”
“Why?”
“Because.” Slightly terse.
Yeonjun doesn’t answer. Felix props his arms onto his shoulders, linking his fingers behind his neck.
“Jealous?” he murmurs consolingly. “You took a fancy to my ulzzang?”
“Aren’t you?” Yeonjun counters, disregarding the last part.
Felix frowns. “Why should I be? Hyunjin has other friends, whatever. He comes back to me in the end.”
Yeonjun doesn’t question it. “If that’s so. I didn’t take a fancy to the ulzzang.” Another grin, even sleazier. “Not that one, anyway.”
Felix raises an inviting eyebrow.
They meet in the middle- hot, messier than Felix likes, but Yeonjun is so loud, so appreciative. He tastes like beer and bubblegum, and deepens the kiss almost immediately. Nails scraping Felix’s scalp, fingers raking through his hair, fucking it up.
“Take me home,” Felix demands when they break apart. The spinning lights are hurting his skull.
Yeonjun cocks an eyebrow. “You taste pretty drunk to me. I don’t fuck drunk.”
Felix gives him a scornful look. Yeonjun barks a laugh.
“You’re pretty, but that’s not going to get what you want. Another time?” He leans in, and Felix opens his mouth obediently, even though he’s pissed.
“You should promise,” Felix says when Yeonjun moves down to his neck, twists a hand into his hair to turn his throat to the side. “No marks,” he warns.
“Of course. Text me?” Yeonjun tugs his hair playfully as he works his way up to his ear. “You dyed it black? I like it.”
“Mmm.” Felix is still a little sour, but it’s nice to know.
His hair used to be brown, like Hyunjin’s. Felix asked Hyunjin to dye it for him a month ago. Hyunjin straddled Felix’s hips as he washed his hair in the sink.
-
Hyunjin glances up the moment Felix comes through the door. Eyelashes lowered, eyebrows drawn together slightly. Hyunjin always looks bored, like a god watching people argue.
“Changbin wouldn’t fuck me,” he calls as Felix balances on one foot, yanking off a stiletto. His voice is slurred- tequila and disbelief. “Can you believe that?”
“Seriously?” Felix tosses the heel over his shoulder, then drops down, half on top. Their legs twist together like vines. Felix’s thoughts are syrupy, slow enough to set him on edge, because somehow, things happen when they’re drunk.
“Yes.” Hyunjin’s nose is wrinkled. “Guess why? He said, I don’t want to hurt Lix.”
Felix presses his lips together. “Bastard.” He means it, because he told him.
Don’t tell Hyunjin. Felix tracked Changbin down a week ago, and burst into tears in his scarlet Mercedes. Don’t tell Hyunjin- I’m in love with him. You’d be hurting me if you touched him. He’s not past lying to get what he wants. Hyunjin is his. They’re not in love, but that’s not the point. There have to be lines.
Kissing is fine. Fucking is not.
Hyunjin is his.
“I mean, what the fuck?” Hyunjin looks angry enough to spit. He drags a hand through his hair, jerking at the roots. Felix winces. “How fucking noble.”
Felix locks his fingers around Hyunjin’s wrists. “Don’t.”
Hyunjin hisses, yanking back. Felix refuses to let go. He follows through, collapsing into Hyunjin’s shoulder.
“How drunk are you?” Hyunjin’s voice is scornful. There are hands in Felix’s hair, which are- not.
Because somehow, things happen when they’re drunk. Things like Felix’s fingers itching, restless and empty. Striking up an argument, just because he can. The smirk on the corner of Hyunjin’s mouth. The back and forth becoming faster, sharper, more mocking.
Felix’s arm around Hyunjin’s neck, yanking him down. Hyunjin’s fingers in his hair, dragging him closer. Kisses that feel more like collision.
They both like to feel like they’re leading.
Felix lifts his head until Hyunjin’s grip tightens. He can still taste bubblegum and beer. “As drunk as you are.”
For a moment, Hyunjin just stares. Felix gazes at his eyes, his nose. Lands on his mouth, watching as it twitches into a smirk.
“Bastard,” Hyunjin says, before dragging Felix up to meet him.
He burns upon impact. You, mine.
Felix swings a leg over his waist, shoving him down by the shoulders without breaking the kiss. Hyunjin bites in retaliation, arching against him, the cold silver of his ring digging into his scalp. Sometimes, on lighter days, they will spend nights like this- tangled around each other, kissing between words, giggling softly when they miss a beat.
But for now- one kiss. They come up for air at the same time.
“You think I’m stupid, Yongbok?” Hyunjin snarls as Felix gasps for breath. “You fucking said something, did you?”
Felix stares at him, unrepentant. “What the fuck are you talking about.”
Hyunjin glowers, then bows his head, pressing their foreheads together. Felix glows at him. Hyunjin is never mad at him for long. Like his psychology rejects the possibility.
“I’m so drunk.” Hyunjin laughs through his nose, sardonic.
“You’re so drunk,” Felix coos. “My poor Hyunjinnie. Do you want to lie down?”
Hyunjin gives him a look like he’s said something stupid. “Alone?”
Felix pushes back the strands that have come loose around Hyunjin’s eyes. “I’m sure you can try again, baby. Changbin isn’t that good of a lay, anyway.”
Hyunjin wrinkles his nose. “Oh, please.”
-
“I’m so fucking hungover.”
“Ginger tea, pear. Repeat every two hours.” Seungmin’s voice is heavy with scepticism. “But you didn’t come here for my boundless knowledge, did you?”
“Missed you.” Felix pokes Seungmin’s leg with his toe from his place, sprawled on his couch. Seungmin rolls his eyes- always an uphill battle. Felix might be a masochist. “You’ve been so busy lately, with, what? Minho?”
“No,” Seungmin says, unruffled. “Who the fuck cares about Minho? I’ve been studying. I actually want to put my higher education to use in a proper job, thank you.”
“But you don’t need one,” Felix opposes.
“Don’t need one. I’d like one. They seem like fun little things.” Seungmin gives him an impressively superior look. “How was the party?”
“Great! I’ve got a date tomorrow evening with Choi Yeonjun.” Felix spins the ring on his second finger, admiring the silver.
Seungmin raises an eyebrow. “Love?”
“Clearly not?” Felix arches his eyebrows. “It’s just dressing it up, Kim Seungmin. He was too noble for drunk sex. I really wasn’t that drunk, by the way.”
Seungmin sighs and disregards it. “I thought Monday evenings were reserved for your catty gossip sessions with Hyunjin.”
“Gossip?” Felix objects.
“Well, what else do you do?”
“Just- talk.” Felix wrinkles his nose. “But it’s not gossip, that’s so fucking derogatory.”
Seungmin predictably smiles. Cupid’s bow, professionally whitened teeth. So fucking derogatory. “Damn, really? Here I was, thinking you fuck in your spare time.”
Felix’s eyebrows draw together. He snaps his ring still. “Friends don’t fuck, that’s degrading.”
“Friends do totally fuck. Hyunjin and Jisung did.”
Seungmin knows everything. In their unit of eight, some of them gravitate towards each other, and Seungmin and Felix share a similar love for things that shouldn’t be said aloud. Han Yujin does weed, Sooho’s Seojun had a nose job. Your Hyunjin’s fucking Changbin.
Felix presses his lips together. “Did.”
Choi Yeonjun
16:22
my place, yeah?
seven good?
Me
17:32
mkay
Yeonjun’s family owns several properties, but he lives, maybe out of rebellion, in a shitty apartment block downtown. Felix parks the Lexus on the end of the street, glancing around warily. The air is cold, and his cropped hoodie cuts right below his chest. Cargo pants, pretty chains. Hyunjin picked the clothes out, wrapped the chains around Felix’s neck with a kiss on the cheek.
How fucking domestic, he’d said archly. What’s this for?
A date, Felix told him. Hyunjin rolled his eyes and shoved his shoulder and asked, Who?
It’s a secret.
Hyunjin pinched his stomach.
Me
18:59
outside
Felix clicks out, crossing his legs as he waits. He taps on Hyunjin’s chat. No new messages. He swipes his thumb up to refresh, just in case. Hyunjin sometimes sends him things at odd hours. Almost always, he will send something before dates.
Felix scrolls up through their chat log.
naekkeo
17:31
be safe have fun don’t get an sti love you
Me
17:31
f u
love you
Felix switches off his phone with a scowl, noting the time. Yeonjun said seven. Felix is used to men giving him exactly what he wants. When he finally relents and tries the handle, the door is unlocked.
He blows out all the air in his cheeks, frustrated, then steps inside.
It’s wrong. He can tell it’s wrong the moment he steps inside, because he can hear Yeonjun’s voice- now rough and broken down- and it’s not alone. There’s another- low, dark, honeyed with teasing, so sweet that Felix’s teeth ache.
And Felix knows.
He picks through the entryway, turning into the kitchen. Directly in front of him is Yeonjun, back bare and shining, twisted around someone on the countertop. Blonde hair, long fingers wrapped around Yeonjun’s wrist, digging harshly into the skin. A ring that Felix is wearing.
Felix’s vision whites out. Slapped, offended, robbed of something that is his, after he’s gone so far to keep it that way. How dare he- it becomes all he can think. How dare he?
How dare Yeonjun?
He turns and flees.
Felix’s face is buried in his pillow when the knock sounds. The door opens without leaving time for an answer, and a second later, the bed dips. Fingers wrap around his neck from behind, a thumb stroking up the side.
“Lix?”
Felix pretends not to hear.
Hyunjin exhales. “Lix,” he repeats, like it’s a sentence. Then, “I didn’t know he was your date. Sorry.”
Hyunjin doesn’t like saying sorry, and Felix delights in being the exception. It was unnecessary either way. Already forgiven, always forgiven, Felix wasn’t angry anyway, not in that respect. Not at him.
But, Hyunjin definitely knew.
Felix sniffs into the pillow before peeking round at him. “Did you fuck him?”
Hyunjin scoffs, tugs his hair lightly. “You think I would’ve? He isn’t a good lay, I could feel it. He kisses so fucking messy.”
Felix twists his head round. “Yeah, right? My god.”
Hyunjin’s hand pulls back, and Felix’s chest goes tight. Hyunjin touches him again- pulls him up, urges him closer. Felix’s lungs unlock.
“Were you going to? Fuck him?” Hyunjin’s expression is idle.
“If we got around to it.” It comes out petulant.
“Is my Lix sulking? I just removed a few steps for you, that’s all.”
“Few steps?” Felix scowls. He can feel Hyunjin’s thumb, light on his chin, coaxing him to turn his head. After a few seconds, he relents and meets Hyunjin’s stare with a pout.
“Sweet Lix.” Deceptively dulcet- enough to make Felix’s teeth ache. “We don’t need messy hookups, okay? You’re perfectly fine like this. Mine.”
“Mine.” Felix isn’t agreeing. He twists around, tucking his chin over Hyunjin’s shoulder. “You should find me a better one, then, to make up for it.”
“Promise.” Hyunjin reaches blindly for him. Felix clicks their rings together.
-
“Kim Seungmin and Lee Minho are fucking.” Felix traces circles into Hyunjin’s shoulders, feeling the tense muscle give under the pressure.
“Really?” It’s said on an exhale. Hyunjin’s head is tipped back, the dip of his throat shining. Aristocratic features thrown in sharp relief. “Thought it would’ve taken longer.”
Felix grins. “Suppose so. Nonchalant and tsundere are a difficult combination, yeah? I think it was mostly thanks to Jisung. Pretty matchmaker.”
Hyunjin raises his eyebrows, but says nothing.
Felix rests his cheek on Hyunjin’s shoulder, snaking his arms over his shoulders to rest over his heart. “Why so quiet? Are you seriously touched?”
“No.” Hyunjin turns, deadpan. “Do you know? I don’t have a heart.”
“Really?” Felix says silkily. “But there is something inside here. Going insane.” On the last word, he clenches his hand, digging his nails into Hyunjin’s heart. You, mine.
Hyunjin flinches, hissing. “Didn’t feel a thing.”
Felix laughs, letting go. Hyunjin grasps his wrists, thumbing the bone.
“You look nice. Did you go somewhere?”
“Clubbing,” Felix says happily.
“Oh. Without me?” Felix feigns indifference when Hyunjin turns his gaze to him, slighted. Hyunjin does not cherish the people that want him.
“You said you were busy. So I soloed.” Hyunjin’s eyes narrow. Felix makes his tone bratty. “You want so bad? Why the fuck didn’t you ask?” Hyunjin suddenly shoves him down, digging his fingers into Felix’s sides. He lets out a shriek. “Ah, Hyun- ah, ah, ack-”
Hyunjin stills immediately. Felix cackles at him.
“So easy, Hwang?”
“Whatever,” Hyunjin snaps. His fingers stay curled against Felix’s ribs. “Did you hook up with anyone, then?”
“Clearly not, if I’m here.” Felix doesn’t count bathroom things, and neither, he thinks, would Hyunjin. He gives him his most innocent, upside-down smile. “Someone tried. Very persistent. I told him off.”
Hyunjin hums. “I hope you broke his arm.” No irony.
“How rude,” Felix scolds. “This is why we can’t have nice things. People like you, always thinking too serious about everything.”
Hyunjin raises an eyebrow. “How hypocritical.”
“Don’t be silly.” Felix walks two fingers up Hyunjin’s arm, playful, then kisses his cheek. “I’m tired. Stay over?” Felix finds it hard to sleep apart, sometimes- like the problem isn’t just being alone. Sometimes, he will send a text, three in the morning. Can’t. Hyunjin comes.
“Don’t ask,” Hyunjin snips. Felix dips his head to breathe in the hollow of his neck.
-
Hyunjin doesn’t speak much in their group meet ups. Laid, usually, in some relation to Felix. This time, when they sat down, Felix pulled Hyunjin’s head into his lap, clearly on some kind of power trip, and Hyunjin let him. They both like to feel like they’re leading.
“Minho-hyung and I are going out to celebrate baby’s first boyfriend,” Jisung announces.
“What boyfriend?” Minho interjects.
Jisung ignores him. “Anyone coming?”
“Ew, no,” Seungmin says.
“You are the boyfriend,” Jeongin points out.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Isn’t going out counterintuitive to the celebratory subject?” Changbin ventures.
“It’s like a bachelor party,” Jisung says. “We get drunk and mope, except here we rejoice, because we all thought Minho was going to die alone. Any takers? Hyunjin?”
Hyunjin raises a peace sign. “No.”
“Why?” Jisung pokes.
Hyunjin smiles, self-satisfied. “Going out.”
“With Lix? Girl’s night?” Jisung looks pleased with himself.
Hyunjin gives Jisung an unimpressed look. “To get railed.” He can feel Felix’s eyes before he glances up. Catlike, reproachful, but he blooms into a startled smile when their eyes meet. Caught.
Felix’s fingers card through his hair, soft. “You didn’t tell me?” Low and teasing, sweet as ever. “Who?”
“I’ll see. It’ll probably be a car fuck.” Hyunjin thinks there might be dust gathering in his ass from disuse. He gets so agitated when he’s doing nothing, when Felix is doing nothing with him. “Want to come?”
“Not feeling it.” Felix’s voice is dismissive. Hyunjin scowls.
Felix will probably still go out, for the hell of it, because he likes to have fun even if it’s doing nothing. It was how he’d lost his virginity. He was so sweet, he said to Hyunjin later, sprawled on his lap, head propped on his shoulder. But he wasn’t you.
Felix likes to play coy. Dumb. Cute.
Should’ve been me, Hyunjin retorted, and Felix backed down. He was only half joking. His brain liked the idea of it a lot more than his heart did. Lee Felix is bad for the heart. It’s only right, even now. Hyunjin has always had a stake over Felix’s most private spaces.
Changbin’s gaze is hovering somewhere over Hyunjin’s head. Felix’s fingers twitch against Hyunjin’s scalp before digging in slightly. Hyunjin has the sudden urge to grab his ankle, climb on top, force him to back down again. What the fuck did you say to Changbin? Hyunjin has been practically eye-fucking him for the past week, and he won’t touch him. It’s why he’s got to such a restless point.
Felix’s fault. Hyunjin knows.
The Yeonjun thing was only fair.
Me
21:22
I’m out
come?
nae saram
21:22
no
Me
21:23
why?
Me
21:30
did you seriously go out alone?
what if some creep tries to steal you
nae saram
21:31
f u
you don’t dictate
Me
21:31
ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
have fun Lix
nae saram
21:31
fuck you
Hyunjin likes to be worshipped. Felix likes to act otherwise, but Hyunjin knows he would, for him, just him. They’ve tested the limits too many times to pretend it could have ended up any other way.
Felix is his.
Felix is his- worship, mind, heart- day and night, everything in between- Hyunjin doesn’t need to fuck him to know- Hyunjin certainly won’t let it fly the other way round-
They aren’t in love, it’s diminishing, it’s dismissive, it’s-
“How fucking degrading,” Hyunjin scoffs, and Beomgyu smirks.
Never thought I’d have a chance with the taken ulzzang, he’d said in lieu of a pickup line. Most people don’t say it to Hyunjin’s face. He’d kill them. Normally.
Dust in ass, foot out of door, Hyunjin is so desperately horny.
“Well, good for me, then,” Beomgyu says easily. He nods to Hyunjin’s mojito. “Want something else? Tequila sunrise?”
Hyunjin’s preferences are widespread. People like to take pictures of him, share them, upload them to various platforms. Hyunjin resented it at first, but then Felix got so angry.
Hyunjin doesn’t like tequila sunrise. It’s Felix’s favourite, he thinks it looks pretty.
“No,” Hyunjin says curtly. He has a modelling job tomorrow.
He sets the empty glass on the table and stands up. Clicks his tongue whilst Beomgyu’s face works through bemusement, realisation, delight.
“Really?”
“Don’t let me change my mind. I’m up early tomorrow.” Hyunjin rotates his ring, forty degrees, until it lines up with the knuckle. “Your car?” he asks without looking up.
Beomgyu winces. “Don’t have condoms.”
Hyunjin curls his lip.
“Do you?” Beomgyu looks hopeful.
Who does he think he is? “Obviously.”
Hyunjin turns without waiting, listening as Beomgyu’s footsteps pick up behind him- quick, eager, catching up. Hyunjin likes to be admired.
“Thought you owned a Lexus,” Beomgyu comments as they near his car.
Hyunjin slides his gaze past him. “No.”
The street isn’t busy by any means, and it’s dark enough that people probably wouldn’t be able to make out anything, but Hyunjin still glances around warily before unlocking the doors. Quickly, he grabs Beomgyu by the wrist, shoving him into the driver’s seat before settling on his thighs.
Hyunjin wraps a hand around the base of his neck, pressing a thumb against the pulse. “I hope you remember this for the rest of your life.”
Beomgyu grins. “Oh, I will.”
Without warning, Hyunjin slams their lips together. Beomgyu’s hands land on his hips, rucking up the mesh. He clearly spends too much time with Yeonjun- his kisses land eager and greedy, too fast for breath. Hyunjin jerks back with a filthy look.
“Can I breathe?”
Beomgyu smirks, shameless. Even people who don’t know Hyunjin are used to his bluntness. “You taste so good, baby.”
Hyunjin gives him an unamused look. “Let’s not sweet-talk. You’re fucking me either way.”
Beomgyu’s hand is wandering somewhere around Hyunjin’s abs. “Does this seat go back?”
“There’s a lever. Underneath.” Hyunjin laughs. “Left, sweetheart, not right.” He presses his lips to Beomgyu’s throat before biting. Beomgyu shudders, fumbling around the console. “Found it?”
“I think s-” Beomgyu cuts himself off.
Hyunjin pulls back, composing himself with difficulty. “Yes?” he grits out.
Beomgyu tugs on something, wedged between the driver’s seat and centre console. Hyunjin hears it- fabric pulling free, a soft, wet sound- before Beomgyu holds it up, confused.
Sheer black lace, hooked on his fingertips. Flimsy, expensive- the kind of thing that leaves nothing to the imagination.
A fucking thong.
Hyunjin’s hand snaps out before he thinks, ripping it free. The lace is delicate, almost nothing in his palm. It’s held together by thin straps, made to leave marks behind on the skin. It smells like vanilla and musk- and Hyunjin knows- of course he would- he’d know it anywhere.
And then Hyunjin notices: the lace is damp.
Hyunjin knows this kind of wet. Thighs pressed together, lace riding up, heat against heat. The fabric is cool now, but it was hot once. Pressed against Felix, soaked through by him, dirtied from inside out.
Hours, maybe. The whole day. From the moment Hyunjin announced that he was going out, for a car fuck.
Hyunjin wants to force Felix down and hold him there. Shove the thong in his face and demand- what? An explanation? Felix would just blink his huge eyes and say something infuriating like “You found it!” and then Hyunjin would have to kill him, and then who would he complain to about his day?
“Whose is that?” Beomgyu’s voice is curious, edging towards offended.
Hyunjin closes his fist, guarding it from Beomgyu’s eyes. “Mine.”
What’s yours is mine, right, Hyunjinnie?
Lix, you’ve clearly got it the wrong way round.
Hyunjin shifts off of Beomgyu’s thighs before forcing the car door open. He steps out, onto asphalt, gritting his teeth.
He meets Beomgyu’s bewildered stare. “Leave.”
Beomgyu blinks, stunned. “But I thought-”
“Now,” Hyunjin snarls. “Get out.”
No one has ever really tested him, except for Felix.
Two full rings before the call connects.
“Yeah?” Felix sounds slightly breathless, like he’s been dancing. Hyunjin tips his head back, watching the rain drip down the car windows. “Hyunjin?” Now slightly apprehensive. Hyunjin delights in being the only one that can do this.
Hyunjin spins the ring on his fourth finger. Snaps it still. “I’m coming over.”
“Huh?” Felix has the gall to sound shocked. “I said before, I’m out. I can’t come.”
“Then don’t.” Hyunjin hangs up.
The servants already know to let Hyunjin in. He makes his way first to Felix’s ensuite bathroom- stripping to nothing, dumping it into all into the washbasket, before leaning into the mirror to remove his makeup over the sink. Lingerie under the tap, the sheer fabric turning see-through, before Hyunjin wrings it out.
He should leave it. Throw it at Felix’s head tomorrow.
Vindictive pleasure, a full circle moment, two can play. Felix is not winning.
Hyunjin steps into it, pulling it over his hips. The fabric cuts- Felix is smaller, narrower, and he’s always liked a bit of a bite. It’s pretty, but so fucking uncomfortable, so fucking unnecessary. His bones might bruise.
Felix came to Hyunjin’s, once, with marks on his neck. Hyunjin didn’t kill him, only because he seemed to hate them as much as he did. Hyunjin scoffed and called them ugly, and came over the next day with a lovebite, right over his carotid.
It was ugly. Hyunjin regretted it once he got it, but he really had to.
It was ugly, and so was the look on Felix’s face when he saw.
It was ugly, and he thinks Felix cried, but Felix wouldn’t let him see.
No marks after that, for either of them.
Hyunjin finds a hoodie in Felix’s wardrobe- his hoodie, one that went missing and somehow ended up folded neatly in Felix’s drawer. It smells like vanilla. Hyunjin wants to spit. Instead, he pulls it on before settling against Felix’s headboard. Pressing two fingers against his chest, feeling the space inside jump erratically.
Sometimes, that place will act strange without, like it belongs to Felix.
The click of the door. Hyunjin drops his hand and shoots Felix a dirty look.
“What took you so long?”
“How spoilt. What if I never came?” Felix’s gaze is unflinchingly bold. He’s wearing too little for night at this time of year, but just enough for the club Hyunjin’s guessing he came back from.
Hyunjin glares. “Don’t ask questions you know the answer to.”
Felix breaks into a spellbinding grin. His lips are bruised. Hyunjin wants to press his thumb against the mark until he winces. “Can’t leave my favourite alone for too long, what would he do without me? Not too much trouble.”
Hyunjin ignores the implication. “Nightclub?”
“No,” Felix hedges. “A friend’s.”
If Hyunjin were truly psycho- like Felix is- he would’ve forced him to swallow a chip so that he truly knew where he was, all times. Felix is his friend, it’s only fucking fair. And Felix has told him so many times before. Head on lap. Hand on heart. My favourite friend?
You, mine.
Felix is stupid if he thinks it’s that way around.
“Look at you, all tense,” Felix purrs. He settles behind Hyunjin easily, pressing his fingers into his temples. He smells like peach gum. “Have you had all the anger fucked into you?”
Hyunjin scowls. Felix knows the difference. He knows what he sounds like when he’s fucked. He could probably tell even before he’d picked up the call.
Hyunjin also knows how Felix looks afterwards. When he’s fucked, when he’s been fucked. The bruises on his lips after swallowing someone’s cock to the hilt, the flavour of gum he chews after, like it will stop Hyunjin from noticing.
“Yes,” Hyunjin lies coldly.
Felix giggles softly, unaffected. “For the record, I’ve heard Zhang Hao is a fantastic lay.”
“Heard?” Hyunjin snorts, and Felix clutches his shoulders. There’s a new scent, over the vanilla Felix likes to spray on his pulse points. Someone else’s perfume. It reeks. “You’re all dirty, Lix. Go and change and come back.”
Felix’s lower lip pokes out. He tugs Hyunjin’s sleeve lightly. “You took my hoodie. I can’t sleep in anything else.”
“Really?” Hyunjin sneers. Felix’s face blossoms. “Yes, you can only. Because it’s cashmere and it’s expensive. And mine.”
“No,” Felix argues. “We have shared custody.”
It’s hard to be angry at Felix. Like Hyunjin’s psychology rejects the possibility. “Find something else,” he maintains. “Be good.”
Felix pinches his shoulder and hops off the bed, to the bathroom. Hyunjin traces his ring with a fingertip, waiting.
A few minutes later, Felix comes out, entirely bare except for a pair of designer briefs. Probably a spiteful thing. He stretches, the dim light flickering off of the muscle in his calves, the butterfly bones in his shoulder blades. His freckles go all the way up his thighs. Felix is awfully pretty.
Hyunjin raises an eyebrow. “Trying to seduce me?”
“Yeah,” Felix plays along easily. His voice drops, startlingly low. “You can’t resist it.” Without warning, he dumps himself ungracefully into Hyunjin’s lap.
Hyunjin hisses. “You’re awful.”
Felix grins, dragging him down before nestling his face into the juncture of his neck. After a few seconds, he presses a palm to his chest. Hyunjin spits and squirms until Felix removes it, winding his arms around Hyunjin’s waist.
“Night, Lix.”
“Mmm.” Felix’s hands are still moving, over to mid-thigh, where the hoodie cuts off. Hyunjin pinches his hips, curling a fingertip under the waistband to reach the bone.
“Why do you insist on being so difficult?” Hyunjin scrapes the spot, lovingly, with his nail. “Yah, stop moving.”
“’M getting comfortable.” Felix’s voice has dropped to that pleased register. His hands dip under the hem, testing further. Hyunjin slots a knee between his thighs and allows it. “I just- oh.”
Hyunjin feels Felix’s fingertips brush against the lace. Then press down, as if to make sure. “What?” Slightly dry.
“You’re wearing lingerie?” He sounds stunned.
“So?” Hyunjin doesn’t own a single piece, because, comfort, and if he wants someone, then lingerie isn’t going to make a difference. Felix is the one who likes wearing it. In shoots, in nudes Felix shows him for praise before he sends them on. Hyunjin has always been interested in the arts. No part of Felix’s body is a secret to him. It’s a reciprocal thing.
“But you don’t own any,” Felix says, absolutely certain.
“How would you know?” Hyunjin sneers. “Where else would I get it from?”
Felix goes quiet. After a moment, he pulls his hand back, wrapping his fingers around Hyunjin’s wrists, but not moving them away. Hyunjin digs his nail deeper into Felix’s hip.
-
“Been some time,” Jisung notes as Hyunjin sits down. “Cheesecake?”
Hyunjin wrinkles his nose. “I’m not eating off of your fork, Han.”
Jisung pouts. “Minho-hyung doesn’t mind.”
“You’re best friends,” Hyunjin points out. Then, “Did you really set him up with Seungmin?”
“Yes,” Jisung says proudly. Something of a social butterfly. “They were dancing around each other, the silly geese. But I’m well versed in emotional constipation. I’m friends with you.”
Hyunjin gives him a dry look. “Careful.” He can’t believe Jisung actually did it. Told Minho to go. Allowed Minho to go. Hyunjin thinks it might be because Jisung is a better person, but he doesn’t see how it could change anything for him.
“So pensive,” Jisung teases. “I asked hyung to come today- the three of us together- but he’s on a date. He called it an unexpected obligation, but I know.”
Real best friends, Hyunjin thinks. You just know. “Too bad.”
“Heard you were seen with Beomgyu last week. Lovely guy, great fuck.” Jisung winks.
Hyunjin presses a finger idly against his lips. “Kim Seungmin?”
Jisung gives him a laughing look. “Of course.”
“Gossip,” Hyunjin murmurs.
“But so useful,” Jisung points out. Hyunjin can’t deny it. The eight of them had fallen together by circumstance- proximity, wealth, moving in the same spheres. It felt a lot like fate. “I take it didn’t go well?”
Hyunjin gives him an unimpressed look.
Jisung wriggles his eyebrows. “Want me to make it up to you, like old times?”
“Shut up.” It was back when they hated each other. I’m better, you’re nothing, why don’t you fucking leave me alone? Make me. The ‘making’ was very, very hate filled, almost to the point of passion. “You’re still hung up on me taking your virginity?”
“Huh? You didn’t take my virginity.”
Hyunjin blinks. “What.”
“I took your virginity?” Jisung’s voice is way too loud. Hyunjin winces. “I took Hwang Hyunjin’s virginity?”
“I was seventeen, you bitch.”
“Never letting this go,” Jisung gloats. “Oh my god, I have to tell Minho.”
“Who took yours, then?” Hyunjin snaps.
“Who do you think?” Jisung says. “Minho.”
“Excuse me?” And he’s not yours?
“It was fun,” Jisung says. “It was sweet. It’s always better to lose your virginity with your best friend. Sex with your best friend- oh, dude.”
“Please stop.”
“It’s trust, I think. Getting to know someone so completely.” Jisung sighs nostalgically. “But, you know, I want him to be happy.”
Hyunjin presses his lips together. “I don’t get you.”
“You don’t agree?”
“At all.” Hyunjin doesn’t see why he should lie.
Jisung raises his eyebrows. “What if Felix got a boyfriend?”
“Lix is not getting a fucking boyfriend.”
“But what if,” Jisung pushes.
“Doesn’t matter,” Hyunjin counters. “My Yongbok is perfectly happy with me.”
Felix hates conventions. People, he likes, but it gets to a point. Lights too bright. Heels too high. The champagne is always fucking warm.
A sapphire blue scarf, looped twice around Felix’s throat. He plays with the end idly as he talks to the representative of some brand he doesn’t advertise.
“Nice scarf,” she says, fingers on his arm. “Cashmere?”
“Thank you. I wouldn’t know, it’s not mine.” Felix thinks it’s velvet.
Hyunjin finds him, joins easily in the conversation, then turns to him with a raised eyebrow when she leaves. His eyeliner is elegant, sharp black lines against his blonde hair. Hyunjin has always stood out in a crowd, like a rose blooming in the middle of the desert.
“Hello,” Felix says. They slept together, woke together, ate breakfast off of each other’s plates. Hyunjin knotted the scarf around Felix’s neck two hours ago. But it’s polite.
Hyunjin yanks it tight for a second. “Stop letting people touch my things.”
“I didn’t let her-”
“You. My thing.”
Felix lets out an incredulous scoff. “Fuck you.”
“Was she hitting on you?” Hyunjin’s voice slides into teasing. “Were you actually humouring her?”
Felix doesn’t know, actually. Sometimes, he blurs the line between friendly and not. He considers lying- to downplay, or blow it up. But Hyunjin is already watching him with that half-lidded look- already bored, already knowing.
“Little suggestive.” Felix presses his lips together to keep from smiling. Everything is so easy with Hyunjin. “It’s part of the charm.”
“Ew, Yongbok. She was, like, fifty.”
“Thirty five,” Felix hazards, and Hyunjin rolls his eyes. “Generously.”
A disbelieving sound. Hyunjin’s eyes flick over him. “New bracelet?” Hyunjin has always appreciated pretty things.
“A gift,” Felix grins. “From me. To me. And you?” Felix presses a finger to Hyunjin’s throat, above the silver chain. It might be a loaned piece, for one of his modelling sets, but Felix doesn’t think so. “A lover’s knot, how ugly.”
Hyunjin sneers. “It’s vintage.”
“Like I said, ugly.” Sometimes, Felix lies to see how angry Hyunjin will get. He hooks a finger through the chain, tugging Hyunjin closer. “Where did you get it from, hmm? An admirer?”
Hyunjin’s eyes narrow, daring. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
Felix was joking, but he wouldn’t be surprised if he’d hit the truth. It doesn’t matter. Hyunjin is his. “Mmm, okay.” He wants to claw out Hyunjin’s heart. It matters. Hyunjin is his. “I saw the PR guy hitting on you. The one with the bad bleach job.”
“Really?” Heavy on dismissal. Everyone hits on Hyunjin, he probably doesn’t know the difference.
And Hyunjin is assertive, and tall, and more lean than slender- Felix thinks, if he worked out any more, he would become something like a Greek god- but Felix still worries. Hyunjin is just so pretty. Anyone would want him. Felix has seen other people wanting him.
“Don’t be humble, it’s not the time.”
“Projection much?” Hyunjin says with a half smirk. “People don’t touch me without permission.”
Felix detests the implication. “I’d rip out their hearts.”
Hyunjin barks out a laugh, so loud that a few heads turn. “You? You’d cry if I was rude to you.”
Felix frowns. He doesn’t like that.
“You’d cry if a cashier were rude to you,” Hyunjin continues, but maybe he noticed.
“That’s different.” Felix jabs a finger at his throat. Stupid ugly love knot necklace. “I have range.”
“You have a complex.” Hyunjin catches his wrist. His eyes are glittering, grip loose. Felix knows that look, has known it for a thousand years. I dare you to leave, I know you can’t, prove me right.
“Champagne is warm,” Felix whispers.
Hyunjin laughs and leans in to kiss his cheek.
-
There’s flashing lights, bleeding across the ceiling. Tequila stinging against Felix’s tongue. He’s had two glasses now- or maybe Hyunjin had them. He can’t tell the difference, where one of them ends and the other begins.
The third (fourth? fifth?) is shared- pomegranate syrup and crushed ice passed, back and forth, between their lips. Hyunjin plucks the cherry from the bottom, sets it on his tongue, whole and shining. Felix watches his throat work. Half a minute later, Hyunjin opens- perfect bow, a pit picked clean.
“Pretty,” Felix says admiringly, and Hyunjin cackles as if he’s said something hilarious.
They meet at the middle- slow and lazy, then faster. Hyunjin keeps breaking away to laugh- at Felix’s aim, at the way the alcohol hits, at nothing. His mouth is careless and wet and completely obscene.
“You’re gonna give me alcohol poisoning,” Felix slurs. “From the stuff in your mouth. I’m going to be poisoned.”
“I’ll do mouth-to-mouth if you do,” Hyunjin promises, completely serious, and Felix leans in again.
Near closing time, Hyunjin drags him to the bathroom by the wrist. Felix shoves in front to lead- his palm against the handle first, Hyunjin snorting with laughter as he lets the door slam behind them. The lock clicks.
Hyunjin drops to his knees immediately, laughing against Felix’s hip. Felix ribs back, sulks when Hyunjin keeps snorting. It feels like it should be illegal- Hyunjin’s blonde head between his legs. The way the platinum catches the ugly bathroom light and turns it into something holy. It catches on Felix’s rings when he runs his hands through.
“Can I?” Hyunjin smirks again, and Felix understands. The photographs, the scorned hookups, how people could want him enough to go crazy. “Can I, Lix?”
Felix doesn’t count bathroom things. Neither, he thinks, does Hyunjin.
“Don’t you think it’s a little odd?” Chan’s voice is careful.
“No.” Felix stretches out against the headboard. “I think it’s meant to be.”
Chan raises an eyebrow. “You’re sure that’s all you want?”
Felix pouts. “Of course it’s not all I want.”
“Then what do you want?”
Felix thinks. “Absolute devotion. Worship, mind, heart. Day and night, and everything in between.”
“Love?” Chan ventures cautiously.
Felix laughs through his nose. “Don’t be silly.”
“I think it comes with the package.” Chan says it lightly, considerately. “I suppose I wouldn’t expect anything different from you, though. It’s kind of codependent, though, no?”
Felix could shackle him and Hyunjin together, and it would feel like freedom. “So?”
“Feels like an exclusive thing,” Chan clarifies.
Felix flinches. Stung, like fire spat on his skin. “Don’t say it like that. That’s… lessening. I don’t just want to fuck.”
“You don’t?” Chan sounds entirely too startled.
Felix scrunches his nose at him. It isn’t to say he hasn’t thought about it. Fucking is the lover’s way of conquering. He’d do it slow, and mean, until Hyunjin forgot every name but Felix’s. Yours- he wants to hear Hyunjin say it, just once. Then again. And again.
He is so sure, in everything else, that Hyunjin is his.
“I suppose, if he asks.” Felix closes his eyes. “Politely, and fervently, and… repeatedly.”
Chan sighs slightly. “I think the word you’re looking for is beg.”
Felix doesn’t answer.
-
Hyunjin took his hookup home.
He calls Felix obsessive sometimes, like a compliment, like it’s true. He said it once, sprawled on Felix’s couch, drunk off of Felix’s tequila. Lips touching between words- you fit me. As if Felix were made for him, when it is so clearly the other way around.
Hyunjin took his hookup home.
He’s wrong, of course. Felix isn’t obsessive. He just doesn’t like people testing him, and Hyunjin winds him up just wrong. Felix has rules- everyone does. His are simply: not here. Not in this bed. Not in the space where Hyunjin’s spare toothbrush is Felix’s spare toothbrush, where Felix’s rings live on Hyunjin’s nightstand, where the air smells like both of them even when one of them is gone.
Hyunjin took his hookup home.
Felix isn’t angry. It’s more like an itch- something that makes him want to find the hookup and explain, very politely, that they’ve made a mistake. That they’re in someone else’s space. That nothing here is theirs- not the sheets, not the pillow, and definitely not the boy.
Felix would explain it so nicely.
He’s not obsessive, or angry. He just wants to choke someone. Preferably the hookup Hyunjin took home.
-
There’s only one blanket on the loveseat. They never get more, even though they shuck off all their clothes apart from underwear to pile onto the couch. They fight lazily for warmth, and Felix makes pitiful sounds until Hyunjin flings him a look and surrenders. If Hyunjin really wanted to, he’d win, Felix thinks. But Hyunjin doesn’t want to win. He wants to freeze, passive-aggressive, so Felix has to fix it.
That’s how it usually goes. This time, Felix doesn’t fix it, and Hyunjin curls his lip at the look on his face. “What’s wrong with you?”
Felix ignores him, focussing on his hand, on top of the blanket. Right hand index- that’s where he slid the ring on, four years ago. Real silver. He never takes it off.
“Yah.” Hyunjin still isn’t under the blanket. All that skin, on display. Hyunjin is so lax with his body, it makes Felix sick. “Are we doing this?”
“Sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, so he speaks,” Hyunjin sneers.
Felix doesn’t answer.
“What are you trying to do here? I hate when you get like this.” Hyunjin’s words are barbed.
Other people, in your space. My space. Felix thinks it has been a problem for a long time. Not exactly love, but something worse. It normally takes longer for Hyunjin’s tolerance to wear, so maybe he can tell how much it’s been eating him.
“Why are you so impatient with me?” Felix means it harshly, but he suddenly wants to cry.
Hyunjin gives him a stunned look, like he’s noticed. “I didn’t know.”
Felix flares up. “You don’t know anything.”
“I don’t even understand what we’re talking about! You didn’t tell me!”
Felix normally doesn’t need to. It’s telepathic, they’re telepathic. He stares at the black screen and refuses to make eye contact.
Hyunjin lets out another irritated noise. “If you’re not going to talk to me, I’ll leave.”
“You do that.” He wouldn’t, Felix thinks, but at the same time, Hyunjin definitely would. Even if he didn’t want to, just to prove Felix wrong. A Pavlovian response: Hyunjin is his.
Hyunjin draws in a sharp breath. “Okay, then.”
Felix closes his eyes until he hears the door slam.
-
Hyunjin has always looked the worst the morning after.
-
Felix sometimes gets mad- over nothing and everything. Sweet and overpolite, pointedly ignoring Hyunjin’s hand. Hyunjin has learned to humour it. Grab his ankle, and then his neck, and hold on. Let Felix yell and curse before he collapses against him, furious with himself. A Pavlovian response: Yongbok is his.
Sometimes, it lasts longer. Felix is more patient than Hyunjin is, infinitely more petty.
“Your coffee is terrible, Yongbok.” Hyunjin watches Felix’s shoulders tense. “You always make it too sweet.”
“Don’t drink it, then.”
“I’m drinking it.” Hyunjin takes a loud, obnoxious sip, right in Felix’s ear. “Why are you mad?”
“Migraine.”
Hot pressure spikes behind Hyunjin’s eyes. He grimaces. “You didn’t sleep well?”
“Drink your fucking coffee.”
“Tell me first.” Hyunjin presses his thumbs carefully into Felix’s temples. “Oh, Yongbok,” he murmurs. “Hyung must’ve really messed up. You’re never mad at me longer than a second.”
Felix jerks away. “You’re not my hyung.”
Hyunjin stares at him. “What did I do?”
“If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.”
“Can you not?” Hyunjin’s voice edges towards a sneer. He normally knows why, even when he pretends not to. The not-knowing kills him. It is killing him. “Would it kill you?”
“Yes. I’d die.” Felix’s voice is acidic. “Would you like that?”
Hyunjin gives him a dirty look, and Felix freezes against the countertop- hesitating, deciding between bolt and bite. Before he can, Hyunjin taps his boot sharply between his heels, forcing his legs apart before pushing into the space.
Felix lets out a quick, fluttering breath. “How dare you.”
Hyunjin slowly gathers Felix’s wrists in one hand. “Don’t joke about that,” he warns.
Felix twists- futile- then laughs wildly. “Dying?”
Hyunjin pauses, annoyed. “Leaving.”
“Can you not- yah!” Felix claws at Hyunjin’s wrists. “Let me go! Right now, or I won’t talk to you for a year.”
Hyunjin stares. “You couldn’t.”
Felix drives an elbow into his ribs, shoves hard before he can recover. Hyunjin stumbles. Felix lunges, braver now, colliding with his full weight, dragging both of them to the floor.
Hyunjin likes Felix so much, he can’t let him win.
He twists, clamping his hands over Felix’s wrists to flip him onto his back. Felix makes an awful sound- ugly, hurt- then thrashes the moment Hyunjin loosens his grip. It’s useless. He has him pinned again in less than a minute, forearms braced. Felix’s hip bones dig into his inner thighs.
“Done?” Hyunjin spits.
Felix chokes out a dry sob. Shakes his head. His eyes are molten. “I hate it, I hate it, I hate you.”
Hyunjin shoves his hand over Felix’s mouth. Teeth sink, hard, into his palm.
Hyunjin hisses and keeps his hand there, even after Felix lets go. He waits until Felix’s breathing evens before pulling his hand back to assess the damage.
Bite marks. Hyunjin lifts his head, disbelieving. “I’m going to get rabies.”
Felix stares at him, hot and wet. Hyunjin sighs.
“Two days ago?” Hyunjin guesses. “I fucked someone, yes?” He fucked someone the night before, but Felix was like that two days ago. He is a little like this, every time Hyunjin goes home with someone else.
Felix draws in a sharp, offended breath. “What the- why would I-” He weakly attempts to shove Hyunjin off. “Why do you have to bring people into my space?”
“My space.”
“Our space.” The tops of Felix’s cheeks flush. His voice cracks, breathless. “Home is ours. Why would you take people there?”
And they have separate places, but it has been- for a while, now- Hyunjin-and-Felix. “It was late.” Hyunjin hasn’t brought anyone home for years. Not a conscious thing, but maybe a silent agreement. “He was good.”
Felix’s face pinches.
Hyunjin leans down, until their noses are touching. “You’re my favourite.”
“How can I be?” Felix’s voice is low and lilting, whiny again. “You let other people into my space.”
“Our space,” Hyunjin grits out. “These things usually go both ways.”
Felix’s chin is raised. “What things?”
“Us.”
Felix snorts a laugh.
Hyunjin stiffens and shoots him a glare. “What was that for?”
Felix turns his face to the side. “Nothing.” Aloof again.
Hyunjin watches the pulse in his throat. It perfectly matches his own. He thinks Felix was made for him.
Then again, these things usually go both ways.
“You obviously meant something. Say it.”
Felix curls his lip. “I don’t have to fucking say it.”
Hyunjin thinks it might be a friend thing, but he’s never felt like this with his other friends. The look in Felix’s eye. The way he just knows.
Hyunjin turns his head, but before he can do anything else, Felix tilts his face upwards, pressing a kiss, quickly, to his lips. Defiantly hard, almost a bite. He pulls back immediately, locks eyes with Hyunjin, challenging.
Hyunjin stares at him. “Really.”
Felix grins.
Before he can get any ideas, Hyunjin leans down and slams their mouths together, harder. Felix blinks when he pulls back, and his freckles glitter with it, like stars.
“Look at you,” Felix whispers. “Silly boy, you were always mine.”
Hyunjin places a finger against Felix’s lips, applies pressure until he opens up. “You should learn to shut up. It would be good for you.”
“No,” Felix says, scrunching his nose. Hyunjin pushes in another finger. “No,” he repeats, spiteful.
Hyunjin is entirely too fond.
He thinks something happened upon impact. A reaction, or maybe it was something physical. Collision, mindbreak. You react to me, you can’t help it, I push and you move, I make noise and you stop, your body is my instrument. Then again, Felix has always done that to him.
“I think I like you,” Hyunjin admits. “More than you like me.”
Felix flinches, tries to speak. He gags slightly, then nips at Hyunjin’s fingertips.
“If you bite, I will end you.”
Felix chokes out a laugh. “Let me up.”
Hyunjin removes his fingers reluctantly. He makes Felix work for it- writhe and squirm before he lifts his hips an inch or so, allowing Felix to slide out. He looks slightly breathless. Spit over his bottom lip, making it shine.
“Come with me.” Felix cocks his head, wraps his fingers around Hyunjin’s wrist.
Hyunjin humours him.
Felix pulls him, insistent. Stairs, hallway, door. When they reach the bedroom, he glances coyly out the open window, almost hopeful.
Entirely, entirely too fond.
“People won’t see, Felix.”
Felix ignores him, kicking his heel. “Get on the bed, pretty boy.”
Hyunjin scoffs slightly, but goes to sit. Watches as Felix strips. The light catches the dip at the base of his spine- the tensile strain in his calves as he bends down to the cabinet. When Felix turns around, slick drips down his wrists. The look on his face is like dawn breaking.
Hyunjin eyes him. “That’s not enough.”
“Don’t be arrogant.” Felix’s gaze drops. “Take them off.”
Hyunjin curls his lip. “You’re funny, Felix.” He raises his hips anyway, pulling his pants over his hips. Felix sweeps his gaze, over and away- no part of Hyunjin’s body is a secret to him.
Felix settles on the bed, right in front of Hyunjin. Slowly, he lowers a hand between his legs- closing his eyes, lips parted in a pout. He lets out a shaky sigh as he pushes the first finger in.
Hyunjin follows the movement before looking up to smirk at Felix. “You want to ride me?”
Felix’s eyes snap open. “Do you fucking mind?”
“Whatever you say.”
Felix pulls his fingers out, holds his palm under Hyunjin’s mouth. Hyunjin leans forward and spits, watches as Felix lowers his hand again, wincing.
“I knew you were freaky like that, Lix.”
“Word on the- street?” Felix’s voice stutters.
Hyunjin’s glare sharpens.
Felix laughs, but it dissolves quickly into a sweet, breathy sound. “How fucking hypocritical.” Because he can’t just stop talking.
Without warning, he reaches out and wraps his other hand around Hyunjin. It’s slightly too dry- the friction is agonising- Hyunjin can feel the cold metal of the ring press against the sensitive skin. Hyunjin grits his teeth, before Felix joins his other hand, teasing down the shaft, still wet from Hyunjin’s spit and the leftover lube.
“So pretty,” Felix says admiringly. “Should’ve done this earlier, you think? We only make sense.”
Hyunjin smiles slightly. “I would’ve ruined everyone else for you.”
Felix twists his wrist, mean, and Hyunjin hisses. “You talk such a big game,” he jibes. “You can’t fuck anyone else now, you hear me? Once you come inside, you can’t do that for anyone else.”
Hyunjin gives him an languid look. “I’ll have to see.”
Felix flings him a dirty look. He shifts forward. Lifts his hips- a handspan of air- then sinks down. Hyunjin watches himself disappear.
Felix’s throat bobs, teeth dug into his bottom lip. He’s going slowly, gasping slightly with every inch. When he finally bottoms out, he looks back at Hyunjin, lashes wet, eyes burning. His nails sting from where he’s gouging them into Hyunjin’s shoulders.
“Good?” Felix demands.
“Perfect.” Hyunjin curls a hand around his waist. “Pace yourself.”
“Shut up.” Felix lifts himself up, then sinks back down with a shudder. Hyunjin watches his stomach work around the intrusion. “You’re so fucking- ah- annoying.” He hurls Hyunjin a petulant look. “All those times, parading around with other- other people. Such a nymphomaniac.”
“Big word.” Hyunjin watches him through half-lidded eyes. Felix is warm around him, so familiar, even though he’s never had this before. It’s funny, how he’s only just realising how much he has wanted this. “Want me to move?”
“You’re not- hnng- don’t be so impatient.” Felix drops himself down, punching a little gasp out of himself. “You’re not the centre of the motherfucking universe.”
Hyunjin presses his palm, flat over the bulge in his stomach, and Felix lets out a ragged sob, shoving half-heartedly. His eyes are fiery, burning and wet. Felix cries when he’s wronged, when he’s raging- of course he would cry fucking himself on Hyunjin.
“Must be dry,” Hyunjin ribs.
Felix’s bottom lip predictably pokes out. “I like it when it hurts a little,” he admits.
“Tch. You really are a masochist.” Hyunjin leans forward to lick Felix’s collarbone before moving up to his pulse point, mouthing over the spot.
Felix’s thighs are trembling, aglow with sweat. He sends a sharp elbow into Hyunjin’s ribs. “Can you not?” His words are pleading, dissolving soft at the edges.
Hyunjin pulls back, amused. Felix’s jaw is clenched, his lower lip glistening. Hyunjin leans in and plants a kiss, right on the curve.
“Hnng-” Felix lets out a sharp, keening sound, before spilling over Hyunjin’s stomach. His head drops into Hyunjin’s shoulder, fingers clutching convulsively at the sheets. His thighs jerk slightly, oversensitive from the aftershock. Hyunjin has always wanted Felix like this- worn out, trembling, come dry.
Hyunjin finds his hand, twisting their fingers together, before shoving them both forward. Felix lets out an offended little whine when his back hits the mattress.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He’s so pretty, so angry, Hyunjin wants to eat him up.
“What do you think?” Hyunjin leans down to brush their noses together, and Felix whimpers as the movement shifts Hyunjin further inside. “Take a guess.”
“You’re the-” Felix’s words dissolve into an insulted splutter. “Ah, ah- ah, Hyunjin-”
“Oh, Lix,” Hyunjin teases. “Please? Just a minute, I swear. You next time. We can go both ways.” He pulls out slightly. The drag is obscene- Felix clenches around him, shamelessly hard, like his body won’t let go.
“Quickly, then.” Felix’s cheeks are flushed. “You better keep your pro-”
Hyunjin cuts him off, slamming back inside. Wet and vicious- Felix’s nails dig into his wrist, every stroke Hyunjin makes deepening the scratches in his skin. He sets a punishing pace immediately- hard and deep, spinning into ecstasy. Felix’s snide remarks break down to something softer. Too much, more, please.
When Hyunjin tips over, it’s all at once- burying himself to the hilt as stars burst behind his eyes. Felix’s body locks around him like a fist. His breath is hot and damp against Hyunjin’s neck, ragged, almost sobbing. Hyunjin is about to draw back, kiss him again, when Felix bites down on the juncture.
Hyunjin jolts. “Careful. You might leave marks.”
Felix responds by nipping harshly, sucking the skin into his mouth. Hyunjin buries his teeth into his lip, inhaling vanilla.
“Pretty,” Felix purrs when he pulls back. He pushes his ring brutally over the blooming bruise. Hyunjin hisses.
He brings a hand to his throat, touching the mark, then suddenly whips out, snatching the ring off of Felix’s index. Felix lets out a panicked cry, his hand scraping empty air.
“Wait, no- give it back, please-”
Hyunjin catches Felix’s left hand, holding it still, before sliding the ring on the fourth finger. “Better.” He gives Felix a dirty look.
Water over flames. Felix’s eyes flare up- furious, wounded, hungry- then extinguish. His fingers curl into a fist in Hyunjin’s before relaxing.
“That fast?” Sharp, but brittle.
“Scared?” Hyunjin dips his head. Feeds the word into Felix’s open mouth.
“You wish,” Felix answers immediately.
Hyunjin laughs. “Liar. I love you.” He says it sweetly, like Felix would. Felix turns his face to the side, wincing. “Yongbok-ah. Say it back.”
Felix ignores him, craning up to slam their lips together. Teeth and tongue, trading the taste of each other’s mouths. Hyunjin smirks, and Felix clamps an arm around his neck, locking him there.
“Mine,” Felix says breathlessly. His pupils are blown wide, hungry. “You always were. Right?”
Hyunjin toys with the idea of lying, just to wind him up. Then again, this is the first time he would ever call it lying.
“I’m yours, I’m yours,” Hyunjin murmurs. “But are you mine?”
Felix scoffs and dips his head, breaking eye contact. He probably doesn’t need to say it, because Hyunjin has always known. Worship, mind, heart, day and night, everything in between. Especially here, especially now- Felix’s lips moving against the bruise he put on Hyunjin’s neck.
Yes.