Chapter Text
I keep stealing glances at the man across the bar from me. He’s got a furrow to his brow as he stares into his beer. His grey hair has a slight curl to it, like it was sweaty and dried on his forehead.
I try to ignore the way it makes me wet. I always do this. Pick the most outrageously straight looking man to fantasize about fucking me in the bathroom, but God is he handsome.
He slides the glass closer to himself and my eyes lock onto the veins in his forearms.
I glance up at his face hoping that I can catch a more detailed look while he is distracted but instead my eyes lock with his. His eyebrows are drawn low and his stare is intense.
My face flushes immediately. So much for going to the bar to try to shake off some anxiety before work on Monday. I can feel my stomach clench. As much as there is a desperate heat to the fantasy of fucking a gruff dude like this, the colder reality of accidentally getting into a bar fight is not a pleasant one to consider. I absolutely can’t show up to my first day on the job with a black eye- talk about a bad first impression.
The moment lasts so long that I almost throw my hands up to apologize before he pointedly looks down my body and back up again. It's a raw invitation and it’s not one I’m planning on turning down. This doesn’t seem like a guy in the mood to chat over drinks, and as much as that’s what I might prefer, I can admit the merits of getting straight to business.
I stand up, brush off my shirt and try to give him an enticing look in return. Then I turn on my heel and head to the bathroom. When I step inside, I take a second to steady myself.
You can do this. You’ve done this sort of thing before.
My brain takes this moment to unhelpfully remind me that I’ve never done this type of thing before with an older man as sexy as this one.
The doorknob turns and the door opens. The man steps in confidently and locks the door behind him. He slowly steps towards me. I can’t help but observe that he favors his left leg. It cocks his hip out slightly in a way that makes my mouth water. I feel like I'm helpless against all of the observations I can’t help but make about this man. It’s an overload. I’m hungry for all of it.
He clears his throat gruffly. I hope he didn’t notice my brief distraction.
“Can I suck your dick?” It tumbles out of my mouth before I can even really think about it. It’s more honest than I meant to be off the jump.
This isn’t my first time cruising, but it’s still been difficult to get used to. This man is so hot that it’s making me forget everything that I normally do. I feel silly, but in a way that makes me feel gooey and shaky with anticipation.
He steps closer and I back up minutely until my ass hits the sink. He’s studying me, my face. He looks at my mouth and I part it on purpose. I am determined not to fail his inspection. If it’s more convincing he needs, then I’m more than happy to beg for it - I just normally don’t give that away to strangers.
“Fuck, let me suck your cock.” I repeat like there’s a chance he just hasn’t heard me say it the first time. I want to grab his belt buckles and pull him closer to me. I want him to wrap that giant fucking hand around my throat and hold me still while he kisses me but I won’t move until he gives me some sort of sign that he really wants this. There’s a part of me that is still worried that he’s going to say psych and punch me in the face.
Finally his mouth opens and I get to hear his gruff voice drawl, “nuh uh baby boy. that’s not how this is going to work.”
My pussy clenches down reminding me exactly how empty I am right now. I want to melt into a puddle but a little part of me feels the urge to strike the match. If I push this man, just a little, how good will the swing back be?
“Oh? How exactly do you think this is going to work?” It’s a cockiness that I absolutely won’t back up if he presses but it feels nice to play at it. I grin. This is fun already.
His mouth quirks up, “I like to get my partners nice and worked up and desperate before I let them put their hands on me. That work for you?”
Does it work for me? Yes, fuck yes more than anything ever has in the world maybe.
I still for a second. Normally when I do this I suck dick, enjoy it, and then leave before anyone has to opportunity to learn I’m trans and possibly fuck my shit up. But there’s something about this man. Maybe it’s how outrageously handsome he is or maybe it’s the pleasant buzz in my system or maybe it’s because of the fact that he just used the words “they” and “partners” but regardless of the reason, I do what I haven’t ever done before: take the risk.
I nod frantically and can feel the hint of a whine building in my throat. My jeans are too tight now and my dick is hard against my boxers and I need to be touched so badly I could scream.
One of his hands is gripping the back of my neck before I can blink and tugging on the hair at the base of my scalp. I let my head roll back. I can feel his teeth graze on my jugular before he brings his lips to my ear.
“I can’t wait to hear how you sound when I’m fucking you.”
He yanks my shirt to the side and sucks on the skin above my collar bone. My toes curl at the sharp pain that begins immediately. When he pulls off, the skin is an intoxicating purple that I know will stick around for at least a couple of days.
I feel dizzy with how much blood flow is racing between my legs. His other hand traces my waistband. All I want is for him to put his fingers inside of me and make me cum and fuck I wish we weren’t in the bathroom of a shitty bar because I want to scream for this man and let him bend me over and lay me out in a bed so I don’t have to focus on standing anymore and -
He shoves his hand down the front of my pants. He cups me and I can tell the instant he realizes that I don’t have a dick in the traditional sense. He pulls back to look at me for a moment before reaching down and shoving my pants down my legs.
They’re bunched around my ankles and my pussy is out and this man is just looking at it.
Then he moves and wraps his hands around my thighs and lifts. He sits me on the edge of the countertop and forces my legs open wider. He gingerly lowers himself onto a knee and brings his head closer so that I can feel the puffs of his breath against my dick. He leans even closer and I can hear him inhaling through his nose.
Fuck he’s smelling me.
It makes a nervous version of me want to clamp my legs together and blush but instead I just moan. I let him keep me splayed open. I wonder if this turn of events had anything to do with being a brat earlier or if he had always intended to study the inside of my legs so thoroughly.
He licks my dick and swirls his tongue around it. He’s lapping at my wetness greedily, the slurping is so loud that I’m worried it’s going to give us away. He’s moaning into me now and he turns his head to suck another dark red hickey into my inner thigh.
“Anything you need me to know about before you can’t speak anymore?” He asks.
Talk about a threat and a promise - holy shit.
“It’s my dick and if you fuck me you have to use a condom.” I rush out.
“No worries there.” He grins and pulls a condom out of his back pocket, placing it on the sink beside me. I stare at it for a moment, dizzy with the promise it represents. I need this man inside of me as quickly as possible.
His mouth is ecstasy. This certainly can’t be the first time that he’s eaten pussy because he’s too good at it. When I start to get overstimulated, he ducks his head lower and tongues my hole, massaging it until I’m sure that I’m gushing into his mouth.
“Grab my hair.” He demands.
My hands find his hair immediately and it’s just as satisfying as I thought it would be to thread my fingers through the curls.
I grind my pussy down onto his face and can feel myself starting the clench.
“uh- uh uh uh” I can’t form any words. I can’t think.
His hand covers my mouth firmly at the exact moment I cum, muffling my long drawn out moan. Fuck his hand feels so good here. I hope he manhandles me around.
He shifts his hand to cup my chin and forces my lulling head to look in his direction.
“Yes or no?”
“Fuck yes. Let me see your fucking dick please.” I whine.
He stands up and unbuckles his belt and slides the zipper of his jeans down. It’s clear immediately that he does not intend on doing anything more than just pulling his dick out of his pants.
The contrast between my undress and his fully dressed makes me feel feral.
I get to look at his beautiful fucking dick for a second before he tugs me off of the counter. I start to lower myself onto my knees but the tight grip he has on my waist stops me.
“Turn around and bend over” he orders.
I can’t help but listen. I get onto my tiptoes to bend all the way over the sink. I feel dirty in all the best ways.
“Fuck you’re pretty.” He spreads me open with his fingers. “You’re gonna take it so well aren’t you gorgeous?”
I nod immediately and try to shift back to catch his fingers inside of me. I’m ravenous. I want anything he will give me.
I can feel the head of his dick push against me. He enters me slowly and I savor every inch and how ungodly full it makes me feel . For a moment, he stills. My ass is pressed to the rough jeans over his thighs and I hope it will leave behind a slight friction burn for me to remember him by.
His hand pushes down on my lower back forcing me into a lower arch. I wrench my head up to try to catch a glimpse of him in the mirror but I catch my own reflection first. My eyes are wide and teary and I can see the indentation of my teeth marks on my bottom lip from trying to be quiet. I don’t know this version of myself. This man in the mirror who is so thoroughly debauched. I don’t think I’ve ever looked at myself like this before.
“Keep looking,” he demands.
Then he’s fucking me. I watch my own mouth open and my eyebrows shoot up in surprise. He’s fucking me so hard that I have to use my hands to make sure my face doesn’t press up against the glass. My feet are scrambling to find purchase but all I can think of is how good it feels. I’m unstable and the only constant is his hips driving into mine.
He picks up one of my legs and the angle shifts and holy fuck. He’s hit directly on my g-spot over and over and I’m going to cum again. I glance up in the mirror and his gaze is focused entirely on me. He has a cute twist to his mouth as he concentrates. It’s a ridiculous thought that disappears as soon as he slams into me again. He’s letting out low huffs of breath and his muscles are straining. I clench down on him. I want him to cum when I cum. Even though I know I won’t ever see this man again, I want this moment so I can picture it when I masturbate for the rest of time.
He groans and so do I and then we’re both orgasming. For a second I wish I was crazy enough to rely on my birth control and fuck without protection so I could feel his cum inside of me, but being a medical student really takes all the fun out of dangerous sex. Not exactly sexy to know all of the things that could come from it I guess.
His sweaty hand rubs against my hip for a second before it’s gone. A rare moment of intimacy and kindness in a hookup like this. I can’t help but find it endearing.
He pulls out slowly and I let out a breath. I can hear the zipper of his pants but I don’t want to look up and break the spell between us.
“You gonna be okay getting your pants back on?” He asks.
It makes me feel young and ridiculous but I laugh, “I think I can manage that. Even with you fucking my brains out.”
“Oh. You’re trouble, kid.” He chuckles and shakes his head and I pull my pants back up around my waist and turn to face him.
I want to say something witty. I want this man to remember me.
“Stay safe out there cowboy.”
What. The. Fuck.
“Never do.” His voice is lower now, “I never do.”
I don’t know what to say to that. His angst is making me want to go for a round two even though that’s a terrible idea.
He puts his hand on the door handle, “You go out first.”
Sure, right. I’ll go out and face the bar of people that absolutely just heard me cum. That’s reasonable.
“Sounds good. I hope you have a good rest of your night.” I nod my head and head out.
I don’t have enough money to just leave my tab open so I do the walk of shame back to the bartop to ask for my receipt. I swear I can hear the man laugh behind me, but when I turn around he’s already gone.
He’s a phantom. A sexy, sexy phantom.