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“You seem nervous.”
Tony startled from his perusal of the living room, Natasha having slipped over to him without his notice. Not a surprise. She was stealthy like that.
“Me? Why would I be nervous, attending a party celebrating my ex-wife’s engagement to her future wife. No cause for nerves there.”
“I’m ignoring your sarcasm because you’ve been incredibly mature about this whole thing.”
“So glad to have risen above your expectations,” he drawled. So he hadn’t had a fit because his ex-wife and one of his best friends had fallen in love with each other. He hardly deserved a medal for it.
“Tony,” Natasha said pointedly. “I’m not saying I expected you to be immature, but you could’ve been upset. No one would have blamed you.”
Tony shook his head, a soft smile creeping onto his lips. Just because he was in a bit of a—mood—didn’t mean he was going to be a damper on their night, or let Natasha or Pepper think that he was bothered by this. Because he truly wasn’t.
“All I want is for you to both be happy, and if you’re happy together then that’s even better.”
Natasha's smile was small but incredibly genuine. He’d never seen her smile in the way Pepper made her smile since they’d started dating, and he’d have to be pretty damn heartless to care more about Pepper moving on than the fact that Natasha was finding the love that she deserved after so many years of loneliness and suffering, or that Pepper was able to find love again after their divorce.
“I was prepared to hate whoever Pepper ended up with, you know?”
“Oh yeah?” Nat asked, lips curving with amusement.
“Mmhmm. I’d be happy for her, of course, because she deserves the world. But having to accept a new person in my life? In Morgan’s?” He shook his head. “I was not looking forward to that. So, selfish as this may sound, I’m glad it’s you. Surprised, but glad.” He hadn’t been expecting Pepper’s bisexual revelation, but as a longtime bisexual himself, and as someone who adored both of them—yeah he could see it. Could see how well they complemented each other, for all their similarities and all their differences.
Natasha laughed. “Selfish or not, thank you. I never wanted to hurt you, so I’m relieved to hear that it’s better that it’s me.”
“Yeah.”
Natasha’s gaze turned incisive. Never a good thing. “You know that’s not what I meant though. About being nervous.”
Tony swallowed nervously and looked away from her and back at the room of guests again, as if that would save him from her too-knowing gaze that saw too much. “What? Bucky?” He asked, looking over towards the man in question, who appeared to be flirting up a storm with Sam. Oh great. Another happy couple. He was not in the least bit surprised. Their nonstop bickering had grown increasingly affectionate as of late, they’d all been expecting them to cross the line from frenemies to something more for ages. It appeared as if things had progressed. “He and I buried the hatchet a while ago. We’re good.”
“Tony. You’re being deliberately obtuse.”
He looked back at Natasha innocently. “I’m sure I have no idea what you mean.”
“I can and I will wait you out.”
“You have a party to host.”
Natasha looked at him with steely eyes. He decided to give in, knowing she’d break him eventually.
“Fine! I guess you could say I’m a tiny bit nervous. Where is he anyway?”
“He?”
“Oh, don’t play dumb now. We both know who I’m talking about.”
Natasha grinned. “He said he’s a bit delayed, but he should be here soon.”
Tony’s heart thumped double time at the prospect of seeing Steve. He’d been avoiding him since the incident two weeks ago, but he’d known he couldn’t avoid him tonight. Yet somehow him not being here had made his anxiety even worse. He’d wondered if Steve was avoiding him, though of course he would never do that on Natasha and Pepper’s special night.
“With his boyfriend?” He asked snarkily, and no he was not bitter that everyone else had someone and he was painfully single, and no it did not stab him in the chest that Steve specifically had someone he loved, that Tony would have to watch hanging on his arm all night.
He’d met The Boyfriend only once, and it had taken him less than five minutes to decide he hated him. Unequivocally, and quite without reason, according to everyone else who thought he was perfectly nice. But Tony was sure ‘perfectly nice’ was code for boring, so he felt justified that even if the guy wasn’t awful, he was, at the very least, not good enough for Steve. Which he cared about, because they were friends.
Yep. Tony wasn’t lying to himself at all.
It was at that moment that the door opened, and in walked Steve. It was probably just his mind playing tricks on him, but everything else in the room seemed to dim, the only thing in focus was Steve, looking absolutely drool-worthy in a blue suit, sans tie, top few buttons undone to reveal his collar. Tony’s breathing felt unsteady, his heart a frantic drumbeat against his ribs. He had a sudden flash of Steve dressed in a tuxedo, bow tie undone, strong hands grabbing Tony’s face and pulling him into a devastating, awe-inspiring, life-altering kiss.
It was for a mission, he reminded himself for the hundredth time over the past two weeks. It wasn’t real. But try convincing his brain that. Or his heart. Or, quite frankly, his dick. All were in agreement about what they wanted. Steve. Fucking inconvenient, if you asked Tony. He’d been quite content with his friendship with Steve that was finally something steady and one of his most important relationships. Sure, he was attracted to him, but who wouldn’t be? No reason to let that ruin a good thing. Especially since Steve had a boyfriend, so. Friends. Best friends.
Until a kiss for the sake of a mission had gone and shattered that illusion, forcing Tony to come to grips with the depth of feeling and want for Steve that he carried around with him, had been carrying around with him all these years. He had no idea what to do with the realization that he wanted Steve, that he maybe, quite probably loved him, so he’d done the mature thing and avoided him ever since.
But the time for avoidance was apparently over, because Steve was striding across the room right towards him, and any hope he had that he was heading for Natasha was dashed by that determined glint in his eyes. Uh oh. An uneasy anticipation twisted in his gut, but Tony stood his ground. He could handle this. It was only Steve. How bad could it be?
“Natasha,” Steve greeted, giving her a tight hug. “Congratulations.” They chatted for a few moments, allowing Tony a moment to breathe. Maybe he’d been imagining things anyway. This wasn’t really the time or the place for Steve to tell him to quit avoiding him and possibly that their kiss meant nothing and he should stop being so weird about it, anyway.
But then Natasha excused herself, claiming that she needed to go find her fiancée. Traitor. She just wanted to leave him alone with Steve.
“Tony, it’s good to see you.” Steve greeted warmly, but his smile was tight.
Tony’s gut clenched. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for this after all. Surely he could think of some excuse, someone he needed to speak to urgently, and then he could just… avoid Steve for the rest of the night? Not one of his better plans, he could admit.
“Can we talk?” Steve just had to phrase it like that, didn’t he? Nothing good came from that question.
“We’re talking now,” he said weakly.
“Somewhere private?” Steve asked urgently. “I know it’s a bit rude of me, I’ll go find Pepper in a minute, I just… you didn’t answer any of my calls or texts,” he said, a note of hurt in his voice that made Tony feel incredibly guilty. “And I really need to talk. To you.”
Tony sighed, accepting his fate, whatever it may be, and led Steve to a spare bedroom down the hall, knowing the layout of Pepper’s place fairly well.
Steve closed the door behind them, and leaned against it, seemingly gathering his thoughts. Which did not help Tony’s anxiety one bit.
“What’s up?” he asked impatiently.
Steve looked at him incredulously. “We kissed.”
Tony shrugged. “Yeah. It happened.”
Steve shook his head. “Don’t act like it’s no big deal to you. You wouldn’t have been avoiding me if it didn’t—” he cut himself off, frustration and something else flashing across his face. Tony wondered what he almost said.
But Tony apparently wasn’t done trying to find an escape route from dealing with this. “I’ve been busy. Look, sometimes a kiss is just a kiss.”
“So it meant nothing to you?”
Tony felt uneasy, like he was doing this all wrong. But he didn’t know how to stop. He didn’t know how to tell the truth. “I’ve had a lot of kisses in my life. Yours was one of the better ones I’ll admit, but… just a kiss.” He was an excellent bullshitter, but it had never hurt him this much to diminish something. It felt wrong. Even worse was the small flinch Steve made in response.
“I see.” Steve looked down at the floor, and he looked so defeated, suddenly, and Tony couldn’t stand it. He’d fucked this up, somehow. He’d thought to salvage their friendship, his dignity, and his tender heart—but this clearly wasn’t the way to do it. “I guess I made a mistake then.” Steve looked back up at him, and his eyes were so so sad. Fuck.
“What do you mean?” Tony asked, barely even a whisper, afraid to make this even worse but needing to know what was going on in that beautiful head of his.
“I broke up with Daniel,” Steve said, proving he was far more courageous than Tony was. And oh. That explained the absence of the boyfriend. He hadn’t even questioned it. He hadn’t thought of anything but Steve from the moment he appeared. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that kiss since it happened. It might have been just another kiss to you but to me it was…” he trailed off, the vulnerability apparently too much, since Tony had just gone and dismissed the kiss as nothing. Fucking idiot. He’d read this entirely wrong.
“It wasn’t just another kiss,” Tony said quickly, words stumbling over each other in his haste to get them out. “I lied, okay? Please—tell me what it was to you. I really want to know.”
Steve’s eyes flared with hope. “Yeah?”
Tony nodded, dropping his mask and hoping Steve could see everything he was feeling, even if he was terrible at expressing it.
A small hesitation, and then: “It was the best damn kiss of my life.”
“Oh.”
“I came here tonight hoping… well, I thought maybe you might—”
Tony closed the distance between them and this time he was the one pulling Steve into a kiss. It was gentler than their first but no less altering, or passionate. It sent sparks of sensation all throughout his body, but it also felt like coming home. Pulling away, he brushed his thumbs over Steve’s cheeks and smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry.”
“About?” Steve asked cautiously.
“The whole going into defensive mode thing I just did. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about our kiss either, but I also haven’t been able to stop freaking out about what it all means. I really wasn’t expecting… you. This.” He pressed another kiss against Steve’s lips, soft and lingering, because now that he could, he wanted to kiss him as often as possible. “Took me by surprise, darling.”
Steve’s smile was beaming, and it pulled at Tony’s fragile, cautious heart. “You mean the world to me, Tony. I’ve tried to let friendship be enough because your friendship is everything, but I can’t pretend I don’t want more. Especially now.”
Tony processed that, pressing a few more kisses to Steve’s cheek and jaw as he did so. “I hated your boyfriend.”
“Okay?” Steve asked with a bemused laugh.
“I’ll be a much better boyfriend. I can’t promise perfection, I’m a bit of a mess, but I hope after all these years you know what you’re getting yourself into.”
“You’re not a mess. But yes, I do know you, Tony.” Such loving tenderness in his eyes.
“Fucking terrifying, doing this loving someone thing again, but. I do. Love you. And I want this. I want everything with you.”
Steve kissed him this time, until they were both breathless. “I love you, too, Tony. So much. You can trust me with your heart.” It was a solemn vow.
“You know what, Rogers? I do.”
They kissed again. And again. And again.
It took them a while to return to the party, and when they finally emerged they were fairly disheveled. Pepper gave Tony a familiarly censorious look, but her amusement and happiness for them was clear to see. Natasha meanwhile looked far too smug, and Tony could’ve sworn he caught money being exchanged between Sam and Bucky. He was guessing a bet of some kind.
Steve stayed right by his side the entire night as they celebrated Pepper and Natasha’s love with all their closest friends, with their family.
“Come home with me tonight?” he asked Steve as the party wound down, because he could think of nothing better than ending this night by falling asleep in Steve's arms.
“Yes,” Steve agreed emphatically, pressing a tender kiss to Tony’s neck, easily accessible as it was from his position behind Tony with his arms wrapped around him. It felt like they’d been together for months. Years. Like the second they’d gotten on the same page everything else clicked into place.