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The book smelled like old paper and ink—the good kind, the kind that clung to your fingers even after you'd set it down. Eren turned another page, the chair beneath him creaking slightly as he shifted. It was one of Levi's favorites, plush velvet upholstery with just enough give to cradle his hips comfortably. He stretched his legs out, bare feet brushing the thick rug beneath him, toes curling into its warmth.
A sudden gust of wind rattled the library windows, but Eren barely glanced up. Hell had its weather quirks—mostly just dramatic ambiance—and after a few months as its queen, he’d learned to tune it out.
Then, without warning, the air snapped tight around him. The book tumbled from his hands as his vision swam, vertigo yanking him forward—
And then he was standing on cold concrete.
The cold bit into Eren’s bare feet first. He blinked, disoriented, at the flickering fluorescent lights overhead. The air smelled like stale potato chips and something faintly metallic—human, unmistakably human. A sharp inhale came from his left.
Three faces stared back at him. A blond boy with wide blue eyes, a dark-haired girl gripping what looked like a ceremonial dagger and a taller boy with an uneven undercut. Their summoning circle—chalk hastily scrawled on what appeared to be a basement floor—was still smoking faintly.
Eren arched an eyebrow, but said nothing. His eyes looking around with a strange calmness.
“You... you’re a demon, right?” the blond whispered, looking frantically into the notebook he was holding.
Eren hummed before looking back at them. “Technically, yes.” he said, feeling amused at seeing their reactions. Blond boy blinked, confused; the girl narrowed her eyes, suspicious; and the taller male opened his mouth before shutting it, as if not knowing what to say.
“What do you mean: ‘Technically’?” the black-haired one asked, voice sharp.
Eren actually laughed. The girls behavior being so similar to his husbands that it was funny. Not a sentiment the three humans shared since they exchanged unsure looks.
“Well... I wasn’t born a demon. But I live in Hell.” Eren answered, shrugging his shoulders. He could be more specific on what he meant, however, he didn’t want to waste the chance to make fun of them for a little bit.
Maybe he did spent too much time around his husband. He was starting to get his weird sense of humor.
“The incantation was exact...” Blonde said weakly. “We triple-checked the sigils...”
The girl’s grip on the dagger tightened, her knuckles whitening. “Explain.” she demanded, clearly upset at his behavior. Eren snickered again. Yeah, just like his husband.
He walked around the basement: an old TV standing precariously on top of an even older table; a little coffee table with weird stains all over and a couch that has seen better days were the only things there.
Eren decided to sit on the couch, getting comfortable before answering. “Summoning spells are *directional*, not specific. You called for a powerful/knowledgeable being on the demon realm. So, here I am.” He gestured vaguely at himself.
The three exchanged looks once more, before blonde talked again. “ I thought... we were trying to summon the King of Hell...” he mumbled, his eyes staring intently at his notebook.
“How did we fuck up so much?! We got a nobody instead!” Taller dude exclaimed, making blonde to yelp in surprise.
Eren huffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “A nobody, eh?” He hummed, voice dry. The guy glared at him, obviously agitated.
“Yes! A nobody! So do us a favor and dissapear!” he yelled.
Eren’s eyes darkened slightly, looking at the teen with contempt. “From my perspective, you are the nobody here. There are million humans like you... but I’m pretty sure there’s no one like me.” Eren said sharply, smugness in his tone of voice.
The growl that left the taller’s mouth was almost comical to Eren, who was used to living with the scariest, strongest demon in Hell. They both glared at each other, none willing to back out.
“Jean, don’t be rude!” Blonde reproached, looking nervous between them both.
“Shut up, Armin! I’m gonna show this punk who’s the boss here!” Jean shouted. His words made Eren laugh hysterically.
“Damn, you’re so full of yourself... Levi would have a field day with you.” He commented, still snickering.
“Who’s Levi?” The girl asked, (her name being Mikasa as her friends seemed to address he like that) her piercing eyes focused on him and not the arguing pair beside her.
Eren was about to reply when Armin’s notebook slipped from his fingers, hitting the concrete with a slap that echoed in the cramped basement. "Oh god..." he whispered, staring at Eren like he'd just realized he'd accidentally summoned a hurricane instead of a breeze. "We didn't... tell me we actually didn’t..."
His stammering was amusing to Eren, not to Armin’s friends though, who looked overly concerned for the little blond. It took a couple of tries, before he managed to say something more. “Levi... you’re referring to ‘THAT’ Levi? The... King of Hell?”
Eren raised an eyebrow then, slightly impressed. “You did your research, eh?” his words leaving Armin paler than before.
“You must be kidding! There’s no way he know someone so important!” Jean huffed, offended at the mere idea.
Eren chuckled then. “Not knowing him? I know more than anyone alive.” he said, smirking playfully.
Armin looked adorably confused, not understanding his meaning. The other two... they looked between shocked and slightly uncomfortable. Jean seemed to lose all the bravado from before and Mikasa’s eyes were more calculating.
Mikasa's dagger dipped slightly, her dark eyes flickering between Eren's bare feet and the smoking circle. "You're telling me..." she said slowly. "...that we just kidnapped the Queen of Hell?"
Eren snorted. "Kidnapped is a strong word. More like... accidentally teleported." He wiggled his toes against the cold floor, considering the trio with amused detachment. "Though Levi's going to call it kidnapping. Loudly. Probably while breaking things."
Eren grinned, sharp and sudden, the kind of smile that made the fluorescent lights above them flicker harder. He stretched his arms overhead, the movement languid, like a cat settling into sunlight—except the sunlight was a dingy basement, and the cat was technically a demonic royalty who’d just been yoinked from his husband’s lap.
Armin made a noise like a deflating balloon. "When he—*when*?"
"Mmm. He’ll have felt the second I left Hell’s airspace." He tilted his head, as if listening to something distant. "Actually, scratch that. He definitely just threw a desk through a window. Sounds like mahogany."
The basement’s single bulb chose that moment to burst with a spectacular *pop*, plunging them into darkness save for the faint glow of the summoning circle’s embers. Eren’s eyes—suddenly, unmistakably *glowing* in the dark—narrowed with amusement. “Ah. That’ll be the proximity alert.” His voice was far too cheerful for someone discussing their husband’s impending wrath. “Levi *hates* when I leave without telling him.”
Mikasa’s dagger clattered to the floor. “Proximity—*what?*”
“Demonic matrimonial perks.” Eren said, waving a hand. A small, flickering flame appeared above his palm, casting long shadows across their horrified faces. “Think of it like… supernatural ‘Find My iPhone’. But with more screaming.” The flame danced higher, illuminating the way Armin was now clutching Jean’s sleeve like a lifeline.
A low, shuddering *thud* echoed through the basement walls—once, twice, then a rapid staccato that made the concrete tremble beneath their feet. Eren sighed. “That’s the hellhounds. He only unleashes them when he’s *really* pissed.” He glanced at the trio’s ashen faces and added, almost apologetically. “You might want to stand behind me.”
The first hellhound came through the ceiling. Plaster rained down as a massive, obsidian-black paw punched through the drywall, followed by the rest of the creature—muscular shoulders, a whip-like tail, and eyes that burned like banked coals. It landed with a ground-shaking *thud*, immediately baring teeth longer than Armin’s fingers. Jean let out a sound that was half scream, half whimper.
Eren didn’t move. “Bad dog...” he said mildly. The hellhound whined, ears flattening, and took a hesitant step back.
Then the wall exploded.
Levi didn’t bother with theatrics—he simply walked through the dust and debris like it was a mildly inconvenient curtain, one hand brushing concrete powder off his sleeve. His other hand held a familiar-looking desk leg, jagged at the broken end. His eyes—narrowed, furious—locked onto Eren first, scanning him head to toe before flicking to the trio behind him.
Levi’s voice was deceptively calm, the kind of calm that came right before a hurricane. “You...” he said, pointing the desk leg at Jean, who visibly recoiled. “...have approximately three seconds to explain why my *wife* is in your fucking basement.”
Eren cleared his throat. “Technically, it was an accident—”
“I wasn’t asking you.” Levi snapped, though his grip on the desk leg loosened slightly. The hellhound at his side whimpered again, slinking behind him like a scolded puppy.
Armin, ever the quick thinker despite his trembling hands, stepped forward. “Sir—Your Majesty—we were trying to summon a demon for, uh... Academic purposes.” He gestured weakly to the notebook on the floor, its pages filled with hastily scribbled runes. “We didn’t... thought of the possibility of... marriage bonds to affect the parameters.”
Levi’s fingers flexed around the desk leg, the knuckles whitening for a heartbeat before he exhaled through his nose—a slow, deliberate sound like a volcano deciding not to erupt. “Academic purposes.” he repeated, flat as a guillotine blade. The hellhound pressed its belly to the floor behind him, tail tucked.
Eren, entirely unbothered, nudged a chunk of drywall with his toe. “See? No harm done. Well...” He glanced at the gaping hole in the ceiling. “Minimal harm.”
“Minimal.” Levi echoed. His gaze slid to Mikasa’s discarded dagger, then back to Armin. “You summoned the Queen of Hell for *homework*?”
Jean, still pale, blurted. “Extra credit!”
Levi's eye twitched. The desk leg in his hand cracked ominously. "Extra credit." he repeated, voice so dangerously quiet the words barely carried over the settling dust. Behind him, the second hellhound—smaller, sleek as spilled ink—peered around his legs and promptly sneezed, sending a spark of hellfire skittering across the concrete.
Eren muffled a laugh into his palm. "Oh, *please* tell me you're going to make them write an essay on proper summoning etiquette."
Armin looked faintly hopeful. Mikasa kicked Jean's shin before he could open his mouth again.
Levi took one step forward—just one—and all three teens flinched in unison. He stopped, sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "You..." he said to Eren without looking at him. "...are *grounded*."
Eren blinked. "Grounded?" he repeated, voice laced with amusement. "You're grounding the Queen of Hell?"
Levi's fingers twitched toward the empty space where his belt would usually be—a habit Eren recognized as his 'I'm about to drag you somewhere by the ear' tell. "You let yourself get summoned by toddlers with sidewalk chalk." he said flatly. "That's embarrassing."
Behind them, Jean mouthed *toddlers?* to Armin, who elbowed him sharply in the ribs.
Eren rolled his shoulders in a lazy shrug, the motion making the hellhounds' ears perk up. "Technically, I didn't let them. Their circle was so weak, a stiff breeze could've—" He paused as Levi's glare intensified. "...Right. Grounded."
The hellhounds whined in unison as Levi’s fingers twitched toward his nonexistent belt again. Eren smirked, stretching his arms overhead with exaggerated casualness, deliberately making his borrowed t-shirt—one of Levi’s, judging by the way it slipped off one shoulder—ride up. “You know...” he mused. “This is technically your fault for not teaching proper summoning protocols in the mortal realm. Negligent King behavior, really.”
Levi’s eye twitched again. Behind him, one of the hellhounds sneezed out a puff of sulfur-scented smoke. “My fault.” he repeated, voice dangerously calm. “For not babysitting every idiot with a stick of chalk.”
Mikasa, who had been watching the exchange with the wary fascination of someone witnessing a train derailment in slow motion, cleared her throat. “If it helps...” she ventured. “We made our research. A guy named Zeke made a whole thesis about demons and how to summon them.”
Armin made a strangled noise and kicked her ankle. Eren tensed slightly at the mention of his half-brother before relaxing again, knowing the man was ten feet underground by now.
Levi’s gaze snapped to Mikasa, his expression briefly flickering with something that wasn’t quite fury—more like exasperated intrigue, the way one might regard a particularly bold pigeon. The desk leg in his hand crumbled slightly under his grip, sawdust sprinkling onto the concrete.
Eren, sensing an opening, sidled up to Levi and hooked a finger through his belt loop. “See? They’re just curious little things... No need to be so harsh.” Eren cooed, looking cutely up at his husband who relaxed slightly.
Jean, emboldened by the lack of immediate dismemberment, snapped. “Who are you calling little, you asshole!?”
Now, it was the wall that exploded. The dust hadn’t even settled before Levi’s boot connected with Jean’s ass, sending him sprawling face-first into a pile of drywall debris.
“Say that again, shitty brat.” Levi’s voice was icy cold, kicking a chunk of concrete out of his path like it was a particularly offensive pebble.
The hellhounds, sensing his mood, immediately began herding Armin and Mikasa into a corner with low, rumbling growls.
Eren sighed, plucking a piece of insulation from his hair. “Darling, you’re overreacting.”
Levi turned slowly. The desk leg was now little more than a splintered stump in his grip. “Overreacting.” he repeated, voice silk-wrapped steel. “They summoned you. Out of my library. During naptime.”
Armin, pressed against a water heater by a hellhound’s snout, squeaked. “We didn’t know demons napped—”
Eren's grin widened as Levi's grip on the ruined desk leg tightened audibly. "Oh, they nap." he purred, leaning into Levi's space until their foreheads nearly touched. "Especially when someone wears them out the night before." The hellhounds simultaneously whined and covered their eyes with massive paws.
Jean spat out drywall dust. "Oh god..."
Levi's free hand snapped out, gripping Eren's chin with enough force to silence him but not enough to hurt. "You," he said through clenched teeth. "...are not helping." His thumb brushed the corner of Eren's mouth—a gesture that would've looked tender if not for the way his other hand was still white-knuckling what remained of the furniture.
Eren was actually impressed by the quality of it. Not many things could withstand Levi’s fury like that piece of wood did until now.
The smaller hellhound chose that moment to sneeze again, igniting Jean's shoelaces. As he frantically stomped them out, Mikasa grabbed Armin's notebook and began scribbling furiously. "Fascinating..." she muttered, ignoring the way the larger hellhound was now drooling on her sleeve. "The marital tether appears to supersede standard summoning hierarchies—"
The notebook slipped from Mikasa’s fingers as Levi’s head whipped toward her, his eyes narrowing to slits. “Fascinating.” he mimicked, voice dripping with venom. “What’s fascinating is how you’re still breathing.” The larger hellhound licked its chops, as if seconding the sentiment.
Eren disentangled himself from Levi’s grip with a laugh, stepping between him and the teens. “Okay, okay—enough scaring the children.” He flicked Levi’s nose, earning a snarl that didn’t reach his eyes. “They clearly didn’t mean to summon me. And honestly...” he added, glancing at Jean’s still-smoldering shoelaces. “...they’re suffering enough.”
Levi’s jaw worked silently for a moment before he exhaled through his nose—a habit Eren knew meant he was counting to ten in his head. “Fine.” he bit out, tossing the desk leg aside. It clattered against the far wall, startling the smaller hellhound into another sneeze. “But they’re cleaning this up.” He gestured to the wrecked basement, then pointed at Armin. “You. Hand over those notes.”
Armin clutched the notebook to his chest like a shield. “Wh—why?”
Levi's fingers twitched toward the notebook with the impatient flick of a cat's tail. "Because." he said, each word sharp enough to carve stone. "I'm confiscating evidence." The larger hellhound growled low in its throat, pacing forward until its hot breath fogged up Armin's glasses.
Eren plucked the notebook from Armin’s trembling hands before Levi could dismember anyone. He flipped through the pages, eyebrows rising. "Oh, this is cute. They even drew little hearts around your sigils." He held it up to Levi, who recoiled as if presented with a dead rodent. "Adorable. Truly."
Jean, still picking drywall out of his hair, muttered. "Those were *asterisks*—"
Levi snatched the notebook and incinerated it with a snap of his fingers. The ashes drifted onto Mikasa's shoes. "There." he said, dusting his hands. "Problem solved."
The ashes of Armin’s notebook settled into Mikasa’s shoelaces like morbid confetti. For a heartbeat, no one moved—then the smaller hellhound sneezed again, sending a spark skittering dangerously close to Jean’s already-singed cuff. Levi exhaled, long-suffering, and snapped his fingers. The spark fizzled out.
Eren clapped his hands together, the sound sharp in the wrecked basement. “Alright! Now that we’ve established who not to summon.” he shot Levi a smirk. “And how not to summon them...” a pointed glance at the smudged chalk circle. “Let’s discuss reparations.”
Levi’s eyebrow twitched. “Reparations.”
“Mm.” Eren plucked a stray piece of drywall from Levi’s shoulder, rolling it between his fingers. “You did technically level their basement.”
The silence stretched for three agonizing seconds before Jean blurted. "We have a pool table upstairs?" His voice cracked on the last syllable.
Levi stared at him. The larger hellhound licked its nose.
Eren burst out laughing, the sound rich and warm enough to make the fluorescent lights flicker back to life overhead. "Oh, I like them." he said, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye. He nudged Levi's boot with his bare toe. "Can we keep them?"
Levi's expression suggested he was mentally calculating how many human souls it would cost to erase this entire block from existence. "No."
Eren pouted at the demon, not liking that answer. Levi huffed and with a flick of his wrist, opened a portal to the demon realm. He grabbed Eren by the wrist and yanked him towards the darkness ahead.
Before disappearing, Eren mouthed ‘summon me again’ to the trio, a mischievous twinkle in his emerald eyes. He might be grounded by Levi again, but he was for sure, meeting those three again.
......The End......