Work Text:
Yuna sat him down in the cozy living room of the Hollanders’ cottage. It was nothing like Shane’s hyper-modern manse a few miles down the road. The three-bedroom place, while still too large to fit the definition of a cottage, was homier than Shane’s palace.
It was still early in the day. Shane was doing yoga. Ilya had been invited over alone. It still felt nerve-racking to be alone with her. But Yuna was his agent now. It was her literal job to be nice to him.
Handing over a cup of coffee, she said, “I know you only get a couple of weeks off a year.”
She settled onto the couch next to the armchair he was sitting in. She had a notepad along with her coffee. It made him think of his therapist back in Boston, reminded him that he would need to find one here. The Centaur team doctors would know someone.
“Shane bans work talk from his cottage, and I get it,” she said. “You boys have so little time to clear your heads. But this year is a little weird because I’m stepping into the role of your manager now. I promise I’ll never talk about work in a different summer. But I gotta get things going for your sponsor deals.”
That surprised Ilya. The guys at the awards had joked that, with Yuna, he would get sponsors, but… “My old manager said no one likes a bad boy, and I was unmarketable. I thought you would handle my contract. You really think I can get sponsors?”
She shook her head, “No one likes a real bad boy. You chirp and have swagger. You don’t get arrested for drunk driving or hitting your wife. Kids’ brands love a squeaky-clean smile. But, what’s your favorite energy drink?” She took a sip of her coffee and then reached for the notepad.
“Rock Star?” he replied, confused.
“Great, Rock Star doesn’t care that you’ve told pushy ESPN reporters to go fuck themselves.” She wrote down Rock Star at the top of the notepad under his name. “They care that you just won MVP and have a pretty smile. I can get you a brand ambassador deal for Rock Star. Powerade or Gatorade?”
“Powerade,” he replied, stunned at the idea of getting Powerade money even as she wrote Powerade down.
“Okay, easy. I don’t know about Coca Cola giving you a Coke deal; they have had a few celebrity endorsements go wrong so they are shy about it. I know you love Coke, but I don’t know if we can get it. They might require squeaky cleanness and we can’t provide that.” She listed off the Russian brands of vodka available in Canada, “Which of those do you like? Because one of them should be paying you. But you are going to have to sign an exclusivity deal with them.” He told her the top two, saying he’d be fine with either. “You live in Nike and Adidas. When I get you a contract you will have to be exclusive. So, which one do you want to wear for the next three years?”
He thought about it and said, “Adidas. Because I can’t give up their sweats and some of their t-shirts. Nike makes cute colorful sneakers, but they don’t have the quality athleisure.”
“Understood.” She wrote more notes down and smiled at him, “Thank God you don’t wear Reebok. There’s no way they could afford you and Shane.”
“I would never wear my rival’s shoes,” he said, shaking his head, making her laugh. He sipped his coffee, finally feeling relaxed.
“Do you have a favorite suit brand or can I get you into Tom Ford?” she asked.
“I don’t have a favorite suit brand,” he shook his head.
“Good. And the fact that Diesel isn’t paying you already is obscene. Their tanks are the only shirts that stay on your body for more than fifteen minutes.” He laughed. “I’m serious, Ilya, everyone knows you wear Diesel tanks because they’re the only shirts that can stay on your torso long enough to read the branding. They need to be paying you for that. I’m going to get you Gucci for jewelry.”
He felt overwhelmed by the idea of all the brand deals that she was theoretically lining up. But he still spoke up, not wanting to live with a Gucci watch, “I’ve always wanted an Omega watch. But the Raiders had a deal with Timex sponsoring the stadium so we couldn’t wear anything but Timex. Omega was my dream watch growing up because they had ads during the Olympics.”
“I can get your Omega,” she agreed.
“Really?” he smiled.
“You’re Ilya Rozanov: the player everyone is watching. They don’t have a hockey player campaign. You can have Omega.” She smiled, “Is there anything else? Any products you like that I don’t know about? Do you love Old Spice or anything?”
He considered it. The doctors told him it wasn’t embarrassing. The PSAs all said it was a topic worth talking about. He took a sip of his coffee before he said, “I know medication ads pay a lot. But also they are important. There was some washed up politician in America who made ads for Viagra.”
“Bob Dole,” said Yuna.
“People say he did it for the money. And I’m sure it was lots of money, but he had a cancer that made his dick not work, and he wanted to tell other cancer survivors about a brand new miracle pill,” he said. Choosing his words, he said, “Growing up, my dad used to say I was lazy. Because sometimes I could not get out of bed in the morning. I just wanted to lie there and hopefully melt through the mattress. I wanted to stop moving and never have to start again. He would drag me out of bed and throw me in the shower and then push me out onto the ice. The feeling would last for two or three days. When Boston drafted me, he warned them I was lazy. But I thought it would be better in America. That I would leave the tired behind in Russia.
“Then one day I woke up in Boston, and I couldn’t get out of bed. I saw Shane had texted, and I couldn’t even get enough energy to read it. The boy with world’s most beautiful freckles had sent me a note, and I couldn’t open it. I just… I cried because I could not believe I could be so lazy in America. I thought I had escaped it by getting out of Russia. It happened a few more times.
“Then it happened on a workday; I was supposed to go to practice. But I could not stop wishing that my breath would slow down to a stop, and I would not have to move. I was running late, and my coach called, and I apologized and said I was too lazy to get out of bed. He thought I was joking until I started to cry and said if he sent trainers to throw me into shower, I could make it out onto the ice. I told him that’s what they did in Russia. He sent the team doctors over instead of trainers, and they let themselves in with my emergency key. They asked me a million questions, and then they said it’s not called lazy in America, it’s called type one bipolar disorder. They said no one would throw me in the shower, and they gave me a nasal spray called Scasati. It’s a rapid-acting antidepressant.
“After ten minutes I got myself out of bed — without anyone forcing me — and brushed my teeth and took a shower. And then I ate some scrambled eggs the doctors had made. We all went for a run together in the sunshine. It felt nice. It was an okay day. People are basically plants. If you cover in clean water, give food, sunshine and exercise, they’re mostly okay. I did not make it to practice but Coach was okay with it, not like my coach back in Russia. Now, when I wake up feeling like that, whether or not it’s a workday, I take my Scasati and text the team doctors to let them know. Most of the time I’m great, I’m awesome, I’m the party. But without Scasati or someone dragging me into the shower, I spend about nine days a year in bed. The Centaurs medical team know about it and it’s not on the banned list. I could be like Bob Dole but for Scasati. I didn’t know this medicine existed and it could have helped me for years. If a celebrity was on TV talking about it, that would have helped.”
She nodded, “I’ve never done anything with pharmaceuticals, but I can get you the deal. My question is, are you sure you want to be Bob Dole? Everyone knows he can’t get it up. Everyone forgets it’s because he had cancer. He’s just the old politician with a bad penis. I know you want to help people who need to know about the medication. And that’s commendable. Wanting other people to get the help you got is great. And if you want to do that, we’ll do that. I will get you that commercial. But to some people, assholes, you will now be the hockey player who takes the crazy drugs. I will handle all the PR around it. We will work with their PR team. But we cannot avoid assholes who will call you crazy or suggest you are weak for taking meds. If you want it, I will get it done. Think about it, talk about it with Shane. And if you decide you want to do it, you will have it.”
“Do you think it makes me less marketable?” he asked, anxious. He didn’t want to make Yuna’s job harder when she had just agreed to be his manager.
“No,” she said. Considering it, she tucked her legs up under herself on the couch as she said, “I think it will actually soften you for a lot of people. You’re viewed as harsh and bro-y. Admitting you struggle with your mental health but take steps to take care of yourself will make you more human and likable. For more conservative, strict parents who viewed you as ‘too extreme’ just for going clubbing and saying fuck, it might make you more sympathetic and someone they let their kids be fans of now.”
“Then, if it doesn’t make your job of selling me harder, I want to do it. People already burn effigies of me and hate me. I don’t care. I’d like people to know about Scasati and I want pharmaceutical money.”
“Okay,” she nodded. “I’ll get it done.” Taking a deep breath, she said, “I made missteps in Shane’s career. I tied him into contracts without asking him how he really felt about them. I let him sign morality clauses that dictated how he behaved in public. People wanted to buy his golden boy reputation. And I only half regret that. I think it was good for his self-esteem as he wasn’t liked as a kid; he was bullied for being half Asian, and… hockey was all he could think about or talk about. Kids were unkind to him for being different.”
Ilya thought of Cliff saying Shane was the thing that sounded like artistic. He thought that was probably why kids were mean to him — because Shane thought and acted a little different. But Shane was great. He was weird, but so was everyone. He was just weird in his own way.
Yuna said, “Brands wanting him made him feel good. I made sure none of the morality clauses even smelled of homophobia because David and I always knew. We were waiting for him to tell us. I made sure that the brands he worked with wouldn’t claim being gay was against their morals. But he doesn’t read his contracts because he trusts that I and his lawyer read them. I wish I sat him down and walked him through the morality clauses instead of just telling him to be good. If I had told him a specific list of what he wasn’t allowed to do, maybe he would have told us about you, or at least about himself, sooner. Being himself has never been off limits. Getting stumbling drunk and telling a fan to go fuck themselves because they asked for a selfie is.”
She shook her head. “I’m not going to let you sign any morality clauses. They’re usually about not getting publicly drunk, swearing at reporters, or being rude to fans. You do all those things. You’re not going to change who you are. They are signing Ilya Rozanov, not some diet version of you.”
“Once we get back to the city,” she said, “You are going to have to do a little media training. The fact that the Raiders never did that for you is insane.”
“Is that the class where they say, ‘Don’t answer these questions.’ And, ‘Answer these questions like this.’?” She nodded. He drained his coffee, “Yeah, we did those after I fucked up a few times. Sometimes I forget when the English is too fast and I just answer. Sometimes I just don’t care. I did the media training.”
Nodding, she said, “Okay. As I said, we’re not going for the diet version of you. If this is you after media training, that’s fine. Do you have hobbies I don’t know about? I should know everything as your agent.”
“I hike. But no difficult trails. My trainers worry about sprains. I get paid too much to risk a sprain. Or, like, the one-hundred-and-twenty-seven-hour guy. I can’t lose a hand. I don’t need to climb rock faces; I just like being outside. Sunshine is good for happiness, and I have a rock collection. I have a lot of wishing stones. But I don’t want REI money. REI is pretentious and too showy. They’re too… Cliff calls them granola people, if that makes sense,” he shrugged.
“That makes perfect sense. You don’t want a granola brand. You want energy drinks,” she said, and he nodded. “What’s a wishing stone? I’ve never had a rock collection.”
“It’s a rock that is one color but has a band that’s a different color that goes all the way around it. If the band goes all the way around in a perfect, unbroken circle is good luck, and you can make a wish,” he explained. “Really, it’s fault in one rock lets a different mineral make a band. The band heals the rock — makes it all flat and smooth again. But… I like wishes. I like pretending they are magic instead of geology. I have many. My mother and I used to find them together. I still search for them. I still make wishes.”
“That’s so cool,” she said, “I’ve never heard of that. I guess I’ll see them when we help you unpack. We won’t go for an REI sponsorship.”
“Yeah, I walk up hills with nice view. I don’t make it my whole personality. I also volunteer at the hospital with kids. I don’t know — the house isn’t finalized yet — I’m not sure where my hospital is where I’ll be volunteering but I’ll go and say hello and get fingerprinted.”
Supposedly, the house would be his by the end of the week. Inspectors had been through. All the paperwork was signed. But there were hoops to jump through. Ilya was paying his realtor to deal with the hoops so he could be with Shane. All of his trophies and most valued possessions were in Canada, brought either by Shane on a private flight or in Ilya’s overly stuffed Porsche.
The plan was four more days here at the cottage, fly back to America, oversee all of his house being packed up by the movers, then drive his SUV back up to his new house, where the movers would meet him and the Hollanders to unpack. But that assumed he would have a house.
“Overlook is twenty minutes from your new place,” said Yuna, like the house was a done deal, “and it’s got a big kids’ ward. That’s where Shane got stitched and cast after every accident when he was little. What do you do as a volunteer?”
He shrugged, “Whatever they need. I painted mural. I helped build playsets with shitty instructions. I read stories and helped hand out snack time. I always got my flu shot in front of the kids to prove that grownups get shots too and they’re not scary. Some kids liked that the Raiders’ Ilya Rozanov was there. But a lot of kids didn’t know who I was. They thought my accent was funny. They liked that I came every week. The first time, I went with the team. It was a group thing for PR and social media. After that it was just for me, not PR. I like doing it.”
“That’s lovely. I’m so glad you find it so rewarding. I’m sure Overlook will be thrilled to have you.”
“When I get overwhelmed, I price out new sports cars and decide if I want it. I’m thinking of getting a gold Corvette next. I like cars. What’s the point of all this money if I don’t have fun with it? The SUV is my practical car.”
“The SUV is a Mercedes, right?” she asked.
“It has four-wheel drive,” he justified.
She nodded, “Okay, of course, if you ever want to get into something that appreciates in value, there’s always real estate investments.” He fought not to roll his eyes. “Now, I’m going to ask as your manager — not as Shane’s mom — do you have any skeletons in your closet?”
He had no idea what that meant, “Skeletons? That sounds gross. I don’t,” he shook his head.
“Sorry, it means do you have any life ruining secrets?” she said. “If I know, I can prepare for it. I won’t tell Shane.”
“Oh, well, I’m a Russian man in love with a man. That is life ruiner. I guess… The Raiders always said it could get me in the tabloids if people found out I tan. But tanning salons are only a girl’s thing here. In Moskow, everyone tans. The medical team told me the bed causes cancer, so I switched to the spray when I was a rookie. But I can’t be pasty when I’m with Shane ‘hottest man in the MLH’ Hollander. If anyone mocks my tanning call them xenophobic. Hot Russians tan.”
“Hot Russians tan,” agreed Yuna. “I have one last thing for the day and then I promise I will never talk work at the cottages again.”
“Is okay,” he shrugged.
“Shane would hit the roof,” said Yuna. “One time Rolex wanted him in their box at Wimbledon, and I made the mistake of pushing for a summer in London. Shane almost raised his voice while saying no, which is crazy for Shane. You get just a couple of weeks off a year and I respect that.”
Shaking his head, he said, “If I went home to Russia, my career is all Papa and I talk about. I don’t get that kind of a break.”
“All families are different,” she said, nodding. “Shane wants to turn his brain off for these few weeks and I respect that. It’s just this year. Other years I will let the cottages be what they are supposed to be: outdoors activities and puzzles. My last thing: your contact is almost up. You’re on course with how much you were paid. It’s the only way I agree with your old agent. I can get you a ten percent raise. I can get you the no-trade clause. Do you want a specific stall in the changing room for good luck? Do you want to be in a percentage of the marketing?”
“No, I don’t care. I just want a raise and to not be traded.”
“Well that’s easy… Tanning is your big secret?”
“I didn’t know I was supposed to be embarrassed about it until guys made fun and didn’t want to come with. I’m hot. Hot people are sun-kissed even in January.”
“Shane isn’t,” she pointed out.
“Shane has freckles,” said Ilya, “He gets pass.”
She laughed, “Are you boys having fun at the cottage? This is the first summer it’s been completed.”
“It’s wonderful,” Ilya nodded, “We’ve been swimming and grilling. The jet skis are fun but I like the kayaks, just messing around in the water. Turtles will swim next to the kayaks. And we had a fire last night. It was boring in a good way, except for the loons. I don’t like the loons.”
The front door opened, and Shane called, “Mom, you promised you wouldn’t harangue him, and I had time to do a full yoga routine and run here.” Shane walked in looking sweaty.
“We finished with work. We’re talking about loons,” said Ilya.
“I’ll protect you from the loons,” Shane said.
“He’s very good at the territorial call to tell them to leave us alone,” Ilya said to Yuna.
“I was thinking,” said Shane, “Maybe we could go for a walk along the shore, see if we could find you any loon feathers. They’re pretty. Maybe you’ll be less scared of them if you see how pretty their feathers are.”
“I looked up a picture. They have bright red eyes. Like they’re possessed,” said Ilya.
“I was hoping you hadn’t done that,” admitted Shane. “The feathers still have polkadots.”
“That’s cool,” Ilya said, relenting.
“You wanna go for a walk and look for feathers? Maybe a swim too?”
“You’re sweaty from your run. Let’s go swimming first, cool off. I didn’t know it got hot in Canada.”
Shane nodded, “It’s summer here too.”
“You want a ride back to your cottage in my nice Porsche all sweaty, don’t you?” asked Ilya.
“Yes, please,” said Shane with a grin.
“You’re lucky you’re the hottest man in the MLH,” he shook his head ruefully. To Yuna, he said, “I better get this man home and throw him in the lake.”
“Have fun, boys,” said Yuna. “Thank you for all your insight this morning, Ilya, it makes my job so much easier when someone can just tell me what they like the way you did. Thank you.”
He grinned, “It was nice spending time with you,” he said.
As they drove back to the cottage, he said, “I’m sorry I threw off your normal summer.”
“What?” asked Shane, pulled from looking out the window, “Mom’s the one who was talking shop.”
“No, I mean… Yuna said you like to get out here and stop the world for a couple of weeks. And instead, you came to Boston and now you’re here for just eight days and then you have to go back to Ottawa to help me unpack.”
“I don’t have to go to Ottawa,” said Shane. “I didn’t have to go to Boston. I went because I wanted to be with you and you’re much too busy this year to spend the whole summer at the cottage. Usually, I get two to three weeks — depending on the schedule — at the lake. Before it was always at my parents’ cottage now, I have one I designed. This year, it’s not a few weeks. Great news, Ilya, my cottage took three years to build, it’s okay if its maiden summer isn’t us going gangbusters. We have it for the rest of our lives. Right now, getting you moved into Canada is taking priority. And I want to help you move. I want to introduce you to my old skating buddies, so you meet some people besides your teammates. Joe’s a figure skater; he’s fun. He’ll help you find a nightlife. I want to help you start this life and I wanted to see your version of Boston before you left.”
“It’s a good city,” said Ilya.
“They burn effigies of me in the streets,” said Shane.
“Lots of cities do that to me,” said Ilya.
“No other city does it to me,” said Shane. Then he said, “Do you like the cottage?”
“I love it here. Even with the scary birds.” Ilya pulled up in front of the house, “Get out of my car, smelly boy.”
Shane laughed and followed orders, saying, “I don’t smell that bad, it’s only a two-mile run. I hardly broke a sweat.”
“You’re so sweaty and smelly I’m going to have to buy a whole new car with my Powerade money that your mom is going to get me,” joked Ilya.
“Well, you’ve been talking about a Corvette,” said Shane.
As they walked into the house to find their swimsuits, Ilya reflected on the summer. It was so different than if he were at home. If he had gone home to Russia, he’d be dealing with his father’s anger and mounting confusion. He would be talking to doctors, having fights with hospitals that he knew Alexei was ignoring.
But he would also be hitting clubs with friends and drinking too much. He would be exercising in Moscow’s many beautiful parks, running along the Moskva and stopping to look for wishing stones.
He hadn’t searched Shane’s private beach for a wishing stone, hadn’t even thought about it. This whole summer had been such a dream come true that the idea of making a wish hadn’t even occurred to him.
Yuna apologizing for wanting to have a conversation about how she could make him more money was so absurd. There had been no shouting or fists all summer. There had just been Shane and sun. And they had so much more time to enjoy.