Work Text:
The paddock always feels lonely at night, especially after another terrible race.
There is strange quietness, not completely silent, there are footsteps and garage sounds in the distance, but somehow, there’s an emptiness that leaves you all alone with the thoughts that you were trying to avoid.
Isack sits on the floor, his helmet resting by his feet, mirroring his own hopelessness. Everything feels so distant and cold, as if he wasn’t himself.
Maybe he’s just tired, of the bad races, the failings of his car, the mistakes he could have avoided. That’s all.
But then, he hears it. A quiet laugh in the distance. So warm, so familiar, so soft.
He didn’t mean to look but he did.
Across the garage he sees Liam, “his” Liam. He’s leaning against the wall of the garage, still in his suit, talking and laughing so happily and careless.
And then he sees Liam’s new teammate, Arvid. Sweet and innocent Arvid, standing so close to Liam, closer than necessary if he’s honest. They’re looking together at the phone screen, shoulders brushing, their heads leaned together.
Liam is laughing again at something Arvid said, the kind of laugh that he only does in private when cameras are not on him.
And then he feels his heart ache.
Because he notices. The soft way in which Arvid is looking at Liam, the same way he used to look at him, the way you look at your team mate that you have a crush on.
And he looks at Liam, who gives Arvid a sweet smile, and his eyes showing the same sweetness.
He looks down at their phone again, and this time, he stares. Because he can see the way their hands are brushing together, the way Arvid’s fingers softly move to intertwine with Liam’s and then, they finally clasp their hands together.
He looks up again, only to see them smiling at each other with the stupid blushes on their cheeks.
And they both look so happy, so natural, like they finally found their home in each other.
He looks away. His heart hurts, he feels like he can’t breathe.
He starts grabbing his suit, gripping at anything that can ground him to reality and take him away from this feeling.
And he starts to think about the past, about last year and all the moments he spent with Liam.
The late nights together at the hotel when they couldn’t sleep. The quiet conversations of support whenever one of them had a bad race. The shared headphones on the flights, sitting close together and just enjoying each other’s company.
Isack exhales, slowly and he feels like he is about to cry.
He looks again, just one last time.
Liam is now saying something to Arvid, and they are looking at each other as if there was no one else in the world for them.
He feels something sharp in his chest. Is it jealousy? Or something worse?
He stands up, picking up his forgotten helmet, and heads towards the exit determined, as if the faster he leaves, the faster his pain will be gone.
But as he is walking, he hears his name.
“Isack”
He freezes, and his heart feels warm for a second. Liam’s voice, the same one that always made him feel so nice.
He is about to turn around, to let his hopes up for a moment.
But then, he hears another voice, that voice that is so close to Liam.
Arvid.
And he feels it, the way Arvid’s name fits so naturally with Liam, like they belong together. Like Isack never belonged.
“Sorry” he says, without even turning around. “I’m in a rush, need to go”.
He said it casually, he hopes. And he continues on his way.
There’s a silence behind him, like Liam wanted to say something else, but he doesn’t, or maybe he just didn’t even give him a chance to say anything.
He steps outside, and the garage noises disappear.
Now he hears the noises of the cars and the people outside.
But he keeps thinking, that behind him, inside the garage, Liam is still there, together with Arvid. They will keep getting closer and whatever relationship they have will continue to grow.
And he feels how everything is slipping out of his reach slowly.
Liam had become his home, his warm and safe place, and for a while, he felt that Liam could be his. But now, everything is different.
Liam is distant, colder, like something invisible that you can’t touch no matter how close you get.
And he realizes, that “His” Liam, was never his and he never will be. He has a new someone, without even realizing that his old team mate was in love with him.
It would be unfair to be jealous, Arvid is so sweet and so pure, and he was brave and fearless. Arvid did what he was not capable of doing, confessing his feelings instead of hiding.
Arvid deserves to be happy, and Liam deserves someone who can love him as easily as Arvid does.
And so, he continues to walk, ahead into the quiet night, into the unknown.
And he doesn’t look back, at least not this time.