a three-dimensional want

by sunyangie

Summary:

“We are going to a bar, get dressed in something other than sweatpants,” Keeho interrupted him.

“What, now? Why?” Intak asked. Recalling his unfulfilled task list, he really didn’t feel like going anywhere. He checked the time as Keeho’s missed calls and texts flooded his phone. It was close to eight o'clock, and he’d barely done anything.

“Taeyang is performing,” Keeho replied, as if that explained everything. Intak was certain none of them were close to anyone with that name.

-

Intak finds Taeyang impressive from the beginning. After their first few meetings, it becomes clear how difficult Taeyang is to read, but Intak isn’t deterred. There are two new interesting people in his life (Taeyang and Jongseob), and Intak is always keen on making friends.

-

Or: How Keeho’s attempt at matchmaking ends up being more than anyone expected.

Notes:

I’m soo excited to finally share this.
Have fun! <3

title from: voilà – where the statues breathe

Intak pondered his reckless decision to lie on the cold ground in a soaked-through tank top. He had no towel to wipe away the sweat clinging to his face and sliding down his neck, either. But today was exhausting enough, so there was no reason to dwell on details like forgetting your towel. Most people had cleared the room by now, and he could hear only one other person nearby. Intak lifted the arm covering his eyes and peeked through.

Only Shota was lingering around.

It had been that way since Intak first met him in the studio about a year ago. Shota loved to show up unannounced rather than book the room through a professor or the school staff, as the rest of the students did. Not that it mattered, because he seemed intent on doing things his own way regardless. As someone with his own unique style, Intak found the freedom Shota exuded worth admiring.

“Are you staying longer?” Intak asked.

Shota hummed affirmatively.

Sometimes Intak would stay too, mess around with him, do freestyles and have a good time. He really wasn’t feeling it today. He got up to pack, the tank top uncomfortably sticking to his damp back. Looking at his phone, he noted it was almost six o’clock. No wonder he was starving, the three hours of dancing had physically drained him. After changing into something dry, he exchanged goodbyes with Shota, promising to stick around longer next time.

They weren’t close right away, but dancing had a knack for bringing people together. Including the occasional dinner after practice, they built a solid friendship. After Shota met Keeho, it was obvious they all belonged together, including Jiung, who came as a natural extension of Keeho and Intak.

Stepping outside into the cold breeze, Intak wished he had a car.

There was nothing better than coming home to his (technically his and Keeho's) apartment after a full day of going over the same choreography again and again until it was ingrained in everyone’s mind. Intak stood motionless for a couple of seconds after stepping inside. It was quiet, which meant Keeho wasn't home. A small sigh escaped his lips as he dropped his bag on the floor. He leaned against the door, lazily taking off his shoes. He should take a shower, do the laundry and probably make something for dinner.

He peered through the door of Keeho's room, which was right opposite his. He found it empty—no sleeping Keeho in sight. After dropping off his bag, he went to rummage through the fridge. Looking inside, he was already thinking about how to convince Jiung to bring them something fresh and edible the next time he cooked. So far, Keeho’s begging had worked, but it was good to have a backup plan.

He hummed to himself. Maybe he could convince his instructor to let him use one of their dance studios for a solo practice and bring Jiung along in exchange for the food. It wasn’t standard to let strangers in, but Intak was reliable and hardworking enough to make it work, and Jiung desperately needed to let loose. Every time Intak saw him, the dark circles under his eyes seemed more prominent. Intak shuddered at the thought of his own graduation, even though it was still a year away.

He brought his pitiful meal consisting of leftover rice and kimchi to the couch in the living room. He set his phone to do not disturb and opened the gallery to videos he'd recorded earlier during dance practice. Time to spend hours overanalysing the footage, trying to spot details he could tweak in the choreography. That’s how most of Intak’s days ended.

After the third rewatch, he decided to take a break. His empty bowl was left abandoned on the table with some of the food remains still stuck to it. He ran his fingers through his short hair, messing it up in the process. As the hour progressed, his ability to focus was rapidly declining. He eyed the coffee machine on the kitchen counter. For a second, he considered making himself a cup and just pushing through the fourth rewatch, when he heard someone unlocking the front door.

“Intak!” Keeho rushed in. His shoes and jacket were still on, while his bag was sliding off his shoulder. He took his phone out of his pocket and pointed at it. “You could maybe answer your phone,” he said, shaking his head and giving him a flat stare.

“Sorry, I was–”

“We are going to a bar, get dressed in something other than sweatpants,” Keeho interrupted him. After his out-of-the-blue exclamation, he went back to take off his shoes, giving Intak some time to reboot his tired brain.

“What, now? Why?” Intak asked. Recalling his unfulfilled task list, he really didn’t feel like going anywhere. He checked the time as Keeho’s missed calls and texts flooded his phone. It was close to eight o'clock, and he’d barely done anything.

“Taeyang is performing,” Keeho replied, as if that explained everything. Intak was certain none of them were close to anyone with that name.

He frowned at Keeho, who was now standing over him with arms crossed.

“What Taeyang?”

“The guy I met last month? I told you about him.” He rolled his eyes.

“No, you didn’t.” Intak shook his head. Keeho regularly met many people working as a media manager, so Intak was used to hearing someone’s name once or twice and then never again. But if this was last month, he would have most likely remembered that.

“Yes, I did.” Keeho insisted.

“I’m pretty sure you haven't mentioned anyone with that name recently.” Intak paused to think about it more deeply. “You probably told Jiung-hyung and not me.”

That would make the most sense, in his opinion. Keeho’s job required him to spend most of his time glued to the phone. If it wasn’t work related, he devoted the time to Jiung. Sometimes, after Keeho annoyed Jiung into not replying to him anymore, he moved on to Shota or Intak. Not to mention the group chat Keeho forced them all into. Intak could count on one hand the number of times Shota had sent a message in it, and he was fairly certain he’d muted the group chat the moment he was added to it. 

“No, I didn’t have to tell Jiung, because he was there,” Keeho brushed him off. “If you picked up your phone, you would know about tonight.”

“He was where?”

“At the music bar, we are going today, keep up! Jiung went there with his nerd friends, and I happened to be there too. Taeyang was performing that night,” Keeho rushed through the explanation, still glaring at him.

“Wait, wait.” Intak held up a hand to interrupt him. “You happened to be there, too, huh? Why would that be?” He smirked, raising his brows.

“That’s… not important right now.”

“Uh-huh.” As much as he loved teasing Keeho about Jiung, he was right; it really wasn’t important. It was late, and he still had no idea what the plan Keeho expected him to magically know was.

“Anyway, is this guy like your new client or something?”

“No, I don’t really have time for anyone new right now—that’s not why I wanna go. We talked a bit after his set the last time. He was ordering a drink, and since Jiung was so busy with his friends, I decided to split for a bit and talk to him. He said he’s there every Friday, so we are going.” Keeho pointedly stared at him, clearly trying to convince him to get moving.

“But why?” Intak frowned, not understanding why some random guy was making Keeho act like this. “Wait…” His eyes widened when his brain came up with the only other possible explanation. “Do you like him?”

“No! Well, yeah. He is cool, but I don’t like him in the way you are thinking. Honestly, the whole time I couldn’t really tell if I was bothering him or not.” Keeho winced as he recalled the encounter. “But…” he trailed off. It seemed like he was considering whether to share more with Intak.

Intak stared at him, perplexed, waiting for Keeho to cough up the rest of his thoughts. 

Keeho huffed, annoyed. “Fine, look.” He raised his hands in preemptive surrender before continuing, “He is sooo your type.”

“What?” Intak straightened up on the couch, unsure if he’d heard Keeho correctly—of course he had. “Didn’t you talk to him like once?”

“No. Jiung and I went back last week, and I actually got his number.” Keeho waved his phone around, and his lips curved up to a smirk. “I am not throwing you to the wolves completely blind, okay. He’s my age, single, talented, funny, and very much the indifferent, nonchalant type you like. Also hot, obviously.” Keeho sounded thrilled.

Intak wasn't convinced.

“Did you interrogate him or something? Wait, why did you pretend that you told me about him before, when you obviously hadn’t?” Intak furrowed his brow. It seemed to fluster Keeho slightly, as if he expected Intak to forget about that small, inconsequential detail.

“Intak-ah! I’m trying to set you up with your dream man.” He put a hand to his chest as if offended. “You should be happy.”

Intak was hesitant to share Keeho’s enthusiasm. He had no spare time for relationships, clearly, since it was Friday evening and his ideal way to spend it was in the comfort of his bed. He had no idea who this guy was or if he would even be interested. And based on previous records, Keeho liked to jump the gun when it came to setting him up with someone.

“Wait, did you tell him about me?” he asked, sceptical.

“Of course not.” Keeho shook his head.

“What do you mea—”

“Oh my god, let’s just go. I can’t do all the work for you. You will meet him, flirt, fall in love and move in together, leaving me no choice but to move back in with Jiung.”

“Huh?” Intak looked at him, and words failed to leave his mouth—he was completely stunned.

“Glad to see you agree, now come on!” It seemed like the conversation reached an ending point for Keeho. Done explaining, he grabbed Intak’s hand, dragged him to his room and with a snarky, “We are leaving in fifteen minutes,” slammed the door in his face.

Fuck, okay. If this was unavoidable, Intak would do it properly. He took a quick shower and hastily got dressed while his hair still dripped water down his neck.

Keeho came back while Intak was browsing his jewellery with one hand and pressing a towel to his hair with the other. Keeho eyed his outfit approvingly. Black jeans, a generously unbuttoned wine shirt showing off his chest, and his neck adorned with two silver chains.

“You look hot. Ready?”

“Almost, I have to finish drying my hair, but other than that, I’m done,” he replied, grabbing a mix of silver and golden rings.

“No time, let’s go. Jiung is going to kill me, because he’s been in the car for the past 10 minutes and I don’t want to spend the rest of the night with pissed off Jiung,” Keeho replied, a slight whine lacing his voice.

So, Jiung was coming too. He should have seen it coming, of course Keeho’s ideal evening didn’t include third wheeling Intak’s possible blind date. The two of them would probably spend the night drinking and staring at Intak’s attempts at flirting. Laughing.

Intak thought his flirting was decent, but admittedly, he would never measure up to Jiung. He had the kind of unique charm that could melt someone’s heart with a single gesture, aided by his genuine smile. It was very different from Keeho’s tactic, which consisted of suggestive looks and touches, but, in Intak’s opinion, boiled down to annoying the other person enough to set up a date or hook up. 

Intak tried to style his damp hair while simultaneously putting on his boots, because a car ride with an annoyed Jiung sounded less than appealing. He checked himself in the mirror. It would do. He grabbed a leather jacket, which should be sufficient for the September weather, and followed Keeho out the door.

 

—

 

The exterior of the bar gave off the impression of a stock photo you’d find while searching for music bars in South Korea. The name, which was glowing in light blue, didn't stand out among the many other colourful signs around.

From the inside, the place appeared cosier than Intak expected, with dim lighting creating an intimate atmosphere. Walls were adorned with strings of lightbulbs giving off a faint yellow shine, along with shelves full of random knick-knacks, tiny plants, CDs and other thematic things. Despite the decor's chaotic nature, Intak was charmed. The seating was a mix of booths lining the wall, tables in the middle, and barstools along the bar top.

“You are dressed like the booth,” Jiung remarked with a snort, pointing at the black table surrounded by dark red seats.

“It makes me fit right in.”

“Let’s sit down here, it has a good view of the stage.” Keeho grabbed Jiung’s arm to pull him down into the corner booth.

Intak eyed the stage as he sat down beside Keeho.

The stage was a barely elevated, small square of the ground with a nice backdrop of shelves full of books and more string lights. There was definitely a limit to how many string lights one should use to decorate. The instruments were carefully placed on the podium, already prepared for the performance. The sleek white drum set piqued Intak’s interest. He wished he could take a closer look at it. Quiet music played in the background, and enough people were chattering to create a buzz.

“So, what kind of music does he perform?” Intak inquired while they were waiting for their drinks to arrive. He couldn’t really get a read on the intended vibe here.

“He only played rock songs as far as I remember,” Jiung answered, tilting his head. “Mostly covers, but there were a couple of songs I didn’t recognise.”

“Is that his band?” Intak shifted his gaze to Keeho, who just shrugged, avoiding eye contact. Intak's eyes narrowed. “Didn’t you say you talked to him? How did you even get his number?”

“Don’t underestimate me, I did talk to him…” Keeho trailed off, grabbing the drink that had just arrived with a thanks.

Intak had a feeling he wasn’t going to like hearing what Keeho had to say next. He picked up his bottle of lemon soda, needing to clutch something in his hands. He wasn’t risking making a fool out of himself tonight, all due to overconsumption of alcohol.

Keeho took a sip of his drink and turned toward Jiung. Intak punched his shoulder, which nearly caused him to knock over his glass.

“Dude!”

“What did you talk to him about?” Intak asked, relentless.

Keeho sighed, realising there was no point in being secretive. “I did learn all the things I mentioned. Just maybe, when I talked to him, I framed it as a possible promotion offer… and asked him some questions from our basic survey. But! It is all relevant information to know for your date.”

How was asking if he is single a standard question? He slowly turned his head toward Jiung, who was suddenly overly interested in admiring his surroundings as his hand reached to fiddle with one of the string lights hanging nearby.

“Jiung!” At least Jiung had the grace to look sheepish.

Before Intak could question him, Keeho jumped in, “It doesn’t matter what I told him. What matters is that I think you will be perfect together.” He clapped his hands together.

Intak looked at him in disbelief. “You don’t know anything about him except for basic information that doesn’t mean anything. ‘He’s funny’, and how would you know that?”

“He seems like the type. You need to trust my gut,” Keeho stated with an air of finality.

“Trust your gut? Do I need to remind you what happened last time?” There were too many examples to choose from, like getting him in the middle of a couple's argument or mistakenly setting up a threesome, which Intak had zero interest in. The embarrassment followed him to this day.

“An exception that proves the rule,” Keeho dismissed.

Jiung was trying very hard to remain stoic, but Intak could tell he was holding in a laugh. As Intak opened his mouth to ask him what was so funny, a distorted screech sound interrupted him. Intak shifted his attention to the stage. While they were distracted, the band entered, presumably with Taeyang behind the mic.

Taeyang began introducing the band, or at least Intak thought so; he was too preoccupied with studying his appearance. His longish blond hair, grazing his shoulders, was styled so effortlessly that it made Intak jealous. It perfectly framed his face. It looked soft in a way that made Intak’s fingers itch. He ran a hand through his hastily styled hair. Not even close.

Keeho had called Taeyang hot. Intak wasn’t sure that was the right word. There was something about him. Something hard to pinpoint. Intak had trouble getting a read on him. Taeyang's expression was ever-changing as he was introducing their set.

He was wearing a black leather jacket, reminiscent of the one Intak had on, thrown over an oversized white t-shirt. Intak’s gaze travelled over the black electronic guitar hanging from a cheetah-print strap toward the black jeans and black boots.

A soft melody filled the bar.

As soon as Taeyang let out the first syllable, Intak was intrigued. He was avoiding making eye contact with Keeho and Jiung out of principle. Picturing their smug expressions was enough to keep his gaze set firmly on Taeyang. Tonight’s setlist appeared to focus specifically on rock ballads, which Taeyang’s voice complemented beautifully, with a couple of more popular classical rock pieces.

Taeyang seemed fully immersed throughout the performance. He was grinning, nose scrunching at every particularly emotional note, eyes constantly flicking over the audience, who seemed as entranced as Intak did. Every time Taeayang’s gaze swept over their side of the bar, Intak felt a thrill run through him. The small stage seemed restrictive, preventing him from completely letting loose during the energetic songs. Intak craved to see him in his full glory. That man deserved to sell out stadiums.

After the performance ended and the applause faded, Intak finally gathered the courage to face his friends. Even if it meant witnessing Keeho mouthing “told you so” with a smug grin all over his face.

“What the fuck,” Intak let out.

“I know.” Keeho nodded in agreement. Even he seemed a little caught up in the moment. “Are you still gonna whine about how you don’t trust me?”

Admittedly, Intak was slightly intimidated to approach Taeyang. Even from afar, there was something about his aura that set Intak on edge. However, at the prospect of getting to actually talk to the man, the excitement buzzing underneath his skin was undeniable. Taeyang appeared talented and skilled with a presence that demanded full attention. Intak loved talking about music, dancing, any branch of art and self-expression, really. He was sure Taeyang would be a kindred spirit in this regard.

“Are you going to introduce us?” Intak asked as he looked around. Since the band appeared to be the only performer for tonight, the speakers were back to playing various indie songs, and Taeyang was nowhere to be seen.

“Hm, I don’t know,” Keeho replied, dragging out the word. “Aren’t you going to approach him by yourself?” He was smirking too much for Intak’s liking.

“Wait,” Jiung interjected, pointing at Keeho. “What about the client situation? You said you had no space to take on anyone else, and then you interrogated the guy anyway, just to set him up on a date with Intak, which he doesn’t even know about.” Jiung crossed his arms, disappointment clear as day from his expression.

“Actually, I’ve been thinking about what I said and decided that fuck it. I'll promote him.”

“Isn't it kind of messed up letting him skip the waiting line like that?” Intak frowned, even though such treatment was leaning toward his favour in the end.

“It's one client. It's not going to kill anyone.” Keeho rolled his eyes. “I can do whatever I want. The perks of being self-employed.”

“You are not self-employed, though.” Jiung raised his brows.

“Perks of gaslighting myself into being self-employed,” Keeho amended.

Intak and Jiung sighed in unison.

“Leave it to me, guys. Trust me.”

“Every time you say that, you make me not want to trust you even more, and the bar is on the floor,” Jiung groaned. He glanced to the right and continued excitedly, “Taeyang’s coming out.” Keeho’s enthusiasm must have rubbed off on him.

Intak took a glimpse of him sitting behind the bar, ordering something to drink, before his vision was blocked by Keeho, who was pushing past him out of the booth and heading straight to Taeyang.

Intak’s head whipped to Jiung. “Oh my god.” He thought he would have more time to prepare.

“Relax,” Jiung snorted, showing no sympathy for Intak’s predicament.

Intak straightened up, watching Keeho approach Taeyang. He pointed toward their booth, beckoning Taeyang to join them. Intak couldn’t see him—Keeho shielding him from the view—but soon enough, they were making their way to their seat.

“Hey! Long time no see.” Jiung smiled invitingly.

“Jiung-ssi,” Taeyang greeted back, bowing his head slightly.

Keeho put his arm around Taeyang’s shoulders, who didn’t even flinch. Intak’s brain didn’t have time to process the sudden touch, as it was too busy processing the sight in front of him.

“This is our friend Intak,” Keeho said, gesturing toward him.

Intak properly locked eyes with Taeyang for the first time.

“Nice to meet you, Taeyang-ssi.” Mentally, Intak patted himself on the back for the smooth delivery.

He received a nod in response. 

“Let’s sit.” Keeho squeezed back into his seat between Intak and Jiung, which meant Taeyang sat down on the edge beside Intak, nursing a bottle of cold sizzling beer.

Intak broke the momentary silence that had settled over them, smiling at Taeyang and unconsciously leaning toward him. “You were amazing, Taeyang-ssi. How long have you been playing the guitar?” he asked, trying to tone down his excitement so he wouldn’t overwhelm him.

Taeyang shifted in his seat, clutching the beer bottle tighter. “Thank you,” he replied, tilting his head slightly to the side as his eyes flicked over Intak’s face. “I’ve been playing it for 2 years, more or less.”

“That’s really cool. What made you want to learn?” Intak inquired further.

“I just really enjoy it. It also helps highlight my skills on the stage. I think it adds life to the performance.”

Intak nodded. “It definitely does. That’s why I’ve recently started to learn how to play the drums.”

“Are you also a singer?” Taeyang asked, a hint of intrigue peeking through his demeanour. Intak noticed his shoulders ease as he relaxed.

“Ah, not really. I focus more on choreography, I’m actually still studying it. I think it’s the best way for me to express myself. I enjoy songwriting and rapping on the side too, only for myself, though,” he said. The original plan to flirt with Taeyang was completely forgotten. Intak was more interested in simply learning as much as he could about him. “I think the same as you about enhancing performance with musical instruments.”

Taeyang hummed, evidently considering something, but then shook his head.

“That’s really cool,” he echoed Intak’s earlier reply, before shifting his attention to Keeho. “You mentioned you wanted to talk about your offer?”

The sudden lack of Taeyang's attention on him was disappointing, which Intak found slightly concerning.

Intak lazily leaned on his hand, tuning into the conversation. Keeho explained how their whole work model functioned, ads, tiktoks, photos, etc. Intak kept stealing glances at Taeyang, trying to gauge his reaction. Aside from subtle shifts in his posture, there wasn’t much to catch. If he were to guess, though, Taeyang didn't seem all that thrilled about any of it.

“I don't really post on social media,” was all Taeyang said.

“That's okay, I can guide you on what and when to post.” Keeho smiled encouragingly.

“I meant that I don't like it,” Taeyang deadpanned.

“Oh.” Keeho looked slightly taken aback. Intak knew the concept of not constantly posting pictures and videos was foreign to him. As if having to tap through 58 close friends’ stories all spammed in one night was everyone's favourite pastime.

“Why?” Keeho asked.

Taeyang shrugged, not elaborating. There certainly was an air of indifference around him. But Intak noticed his every tic, like restless fingers tearing off the sticker of the beer bottle or every time he cleared his throat. He didn't want to be presumptuous and assume they were making him uncomfortable, but he figured a change of topic would be beneficial.

“You can think about it and decide later.” Intak smiled at him. “I just realised I forgot to ask, is that your band?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Jiung and Keeho glance at each other at his poor segue.

Taeyang shot him another unreadable look. Intak recalled Keeho's earlier comment that he didn't know whether he was bothering Taeyang when he spoke to him. As long as Taeyang’s attention was on him, Intak didn’t care. It wasn't like he couldn’t leave whenever he wanted.

“No, it's not,” he replied, taking a sip of his beer. He turned to Jiung. “And what do you do, Jiung-ssi?”  he asked, clearly signalling the end of that particular conversation.

Intak blinked, smile wavering.

The rest of the night moved in a similar fashion. They mostly talked about their lives, which led to hobbies, music, and everyday mundane things. Taeyang seemed composed but still rarely talked about anything personal, which was fair—they were basically strangers. Regardless, Intak hung on to his every word. Knowing Taeyang preferred calls over texts might seem trivial, but Intak made a mental note of everything.

As the night progressed, there was a barely noticeable change in Taeyang’s behaviour, in which the initial shyness or indifference gave way to a witty remark here and there or to hesitant teasing. It seemed more automatic rather than purposeful. Intak could only imagine how things would develop if they kept meeting like this.

Intak spent the whole night watching Taeyang.

By the end of the night, Jiung was slightly tipsy, his weight resting on Keeho's shoulder, while Keeho stayed relaxed against the backrest, careful not to jostle him. Despite not having had a drop of alcohol, Intak mimicked Keeho’s position. All he was missing was someone leaning against his shoulder. He sighed inwardly, tipping his head toward Taeyang. He was absentmindedly humming along to a melody playing from the speakers, fingers flying across the phone screen.

“My friend is picking me up in 5 minutes,” he interrupted a lull in the conversation, slipping his phone into his pocket. “I need to grab my guitar, so I'll get going. Thank you for inviting me tonight,” he added, the formality back in his voice.

They said their goodbyes, and Taeyang left.

“He's kinda weird,” Keeho said when he was sure it was just them left.

“Keeho!” Even tipsy, Jiung never missed a chance to reprimand him.

“I'm not saying it's a bad thing! Just…” Keeho trailed off, hoping the wave of his hand would communicate the sentiment.

“Confusing,” Intak finished, and Keeho pointed at him as if it was the exact word he was looking for. 

“Yeah. It felt like walking through a minefield at times.” Keeho nodded. 

“Maybe he just didn't want to talk to you. He was fine with me,” Jiung said, lifting his head from Keeho's shoulder to stretch. “He obviously had no interest in sharing anything personal, which is fine.” He gave them a pointed look.

“Yeah, we know,” Intak spoke up, feeling like a teenager getting scolded.

“Sorry, we didn't ask him about his favourite animal.” Keeho rolled his eyes.

“I have to take every opportunity to see if there are any fellow frog fans.”

“Jiung, your favourite animal changes like every month!”

Before they could get into it, Intak jumped in, “He seemed more laid-back by the end, except for th— Wait!” he broke off, groaning at the sudden realisation. “I didn't even ask for his number.”

“I told you I have it. I can just add him to the group chat and boom, there we go.”

“Yeah, I'm sure that will go over well. Give him a break. Now, can we please go home already?” Jiung whined, taking out his car keys and throwing them at Intak without a warning.

 

—

 

Over the following week, Intak kept questioning Keeho about whether Taeyang had gotten back to him about the offer, but to no avail. The only replies he got back were “No,” “Text him yourself,” “Yes,” which was a lie, and “I’m going to strangle you if you ask me one more time.” Since his efforts proved unsuccessful, Intak aimed to revisit the bar on Friday.

Despite his pleading for the others to join him, he came alone. Keeho was busy shooting videos with a client in the next city over, and Jiung went into ‘do not disturb’ mode, cramming for an exam at the veterinary clinic. He made it abundantly clear that ensuring he doesn’t harm any animals in his future career as a veterinarian was more important than Intak’s love life.

He arrived at the bar around the same time as last week, meaning he had a little while before he would get to hear Taeyang’s smooth voice flooding his ears. He looked around and was greeted by a familiar sight—nothing changed, from the decorations to the seating arrangements, and Intak was convinced they were playing the same songs over the speakers, too. Since he was alone, he took a seat behind the bar this time. Taking a sip of his soda, he turned toward the stage in anticipation.

Taeyang performed mostly the same setlist, except for a new Japanese cover and a song Intak had never heard before. Intak experienced it as if it were his first time. His plan for the night was to approach Taeyang and leave with his phone number by the end of it. What he wasn’t counting on was that Taeyang wouldn’t be alone.

When he caught sight of the person clearly accompanying him, he considered bailing for a second.

Taeyang noticed him first out of the two, freezing for a second, before approaching. Following him was a shorter guy with a hair length Intak could never pull off, eyeing him up and down, impassively.

“Intak-ssi, hello.” Taeyang nodded in greeting with that same careful politeness Intak remembered.

“Hey, you were amazing today!” Intak replied, making no effort to conceal his excitement. “Who’s this?” he smiled politely at the stranger.

They exchanged pleasantries, and the guy—who introduced himself as Jongseob—suggested moving to another table. Intak was grateful they hadn’t brushed him off.

Jongseob, unlike Taeyang, was very talkative. It was intriguing to listen to Jongseob talk about his love for dancing, writing, and songwriting, especially since Intak was interested in them too. They got majorly sidetracked once Intak heard that both of Jongseob’s parents were dancers as well.

The more Intak listened, the more his interest was piqued. Jongseob mentioned that he’d switched majors from a music-related degree to a literature one, hoping to focus more on writing overall and publish a novel in the future. Intak liked ambitious people.

Taeyang was mostly a passive listener, but his attention never wavered during their conversation. When they switched to chatting about how Taeyang and Jongseob met, Taeyang joined in.

“He made a website for sharing lyrics and demos for indie artists, right, Jongseobie?” Taeyang said, playing with a straw sticking out of his drink. “It’s quite popular. That’s how I found out about him.”

Jongseob rolled his eyes. Intak guessed he was used to Taeyang bringing the topic up at every chance. And after hearing him out, Intak understood why—he would also proudly boast about his friend's achievements.

Jongseob explained that he'd created a website to share various lyrics and musical demos as part of his university assignment. His goal was to connect artists who may lack in different areas, so they could help each other improve or sell their songs, musical demos, or any creative product. Apparently, it had picked up enough traction around campus to spread into indie spaces, too. His tone gave the impression that he had rehearsed the speech, like he explained it the same way to everyone who inquired.

“Are you a genius or something?” Intak asked. He’d never heard of the site himself, but it sounded extremely impressive.

Jongseob chuckled sheepishly, making Intak's amusement grow; he couldn’t imagine Jongseob not being used to praise.

“He is.” Taeyang nodded, his face proud.

“Hyung, shut up.” Jongseob shoved him, seemingly not over his unfounded embarrassment.

“He’s the best songwriter I’ve come across, and he’s helped me write two songs that I can be proud of. I wouldn't be able to do it without him.” Taeyang paused and pursed his lips, clearly considering something. “You two should exchange phone numbers. If you’re good, you can check out the website too.”

Just like that? Intak had been stressing over asking Taeyang for his phone number all week, and here was an opportunity served to him on a silver platter. Not only was he interested in Jongseob’s project, but he was also always keen to make new friends.

“I would love to.” He smiled at Jongseob. After getting a nod in agreement, he turned back to Taeyang. “What do I have to do to get your number, too?”

There was no surprise on Taeyang’s face. Instead, Intak caught a playful glint in his eyes. “Do you think you deserve it?” he asked with a slight tilt of his head. The unexpected challenge in Taeyang’s voice made Intak’s breath hitch.

There was no time to respond before Jongseob interrupted them, his face a mask of disgust. “I will give it to you, but please, don't start flirting in front of me.”

“Jongseob-ah!” Taeyang whipped his head toward him so fast the table rattled, and Jongseob’s yelp made it painfully obvious he’d just been kicked under it. Intak let out a genuine laugh at the dramatic display, clapping his hands together out of habit.

They did end up exchanging phone numbers with Jongseob, while Taeyang pretended to be offended off to the side. Even though the atmosphere was light, Intak wasn’t interested in getting Taeyang’s phone number from anyone but him—whether it was Keeho or Jongseob.

“Hey, Taeyang-ssi? You don’t have to give me your number, but could I maybe give you mine?” he asked, softening his gaze. He aimed for charming and hoped it didn’t come off too much like pleading.

Taeyang levelled him with yet another unreadable look. Intak had stopped counting how many times he’d been on the receiving end of one. He couldn't help but wonder what was behind Taeyang’s indecision toward him, when it didn’t seem to manifest with the others.

Taeyang ended up opening a new contact tab and wordlessly handing over his phone, which was a win in Intak’s book. If Taeyang wasn’t watching him, he would have allowed himself a bigger reaction than a simple smile.

Since it was getting late, they decided to call it a day. Intak was well aware he would stay glued to his phone for the rest of the week, eagerly awaiting a new message from Taeyang.

The way Taeyang said, ‘Do you think you deserve it?’

Why the fuck couldn't he get that out of his head?

 

—

 

Taeyang didn’t text him, but Jongseob did.

The next week was spent texting back and forth, filling Intak’s time in between his classes. They planned to meet over the weekend to see how their songwriting chemistry would go. Even if it was just a hobby, the idea of other artists actually using something he’d written was appealing.

Keeho appeared to be more successful in the Taeyang department using his strategy of ‘annoy him till you make it’, scoring himself a hangout with Taeyang. Even with Intak’s nagging, all he learned was that it was fun and they put the promotional offer on hold.

It bothered Intak more than he wanted to admit. 

Respecting Taeyang’s silence, he redirected his Friday night to the gym.

 

—

 

The next morning, a new text message awaited him from an unknown number.

 

Not worth a third visit?

 

 

Intak stared at the screen, blinking, expecting the message to disappear any second.

When it didn't, he padded into the kitchen, where Keeho was using the coffee machine. He rushed over and shoved the phone in front of Keeho’s face.

“Taeyang texted me!” 

Keeho jumped back with a scream. “What the fuck! Do you want to kill me?”

“What should I reply with?” Intak barreled on, ignoring the complaint.

Excitement and nervousness twisted his stomach. Taeyang texted him. He was almost dizzy with it.

Keeho took a deep breath, sparing him a glare, before he glanced at the screen. “I don’t know. How about ‘Not worth a text message?’”

“I’m not going to say that! He’ll probably reply with ‘no’ and block me.”

“Yeah,” Keeho snorted.

“Dick.”

“He’s chill,” Keeho dismissed, calmly stirring his coffee, as if Intak wasn't buzzing with restless energy next to him.

“You're really unhelpful for someone who tried to set us up.”

“I introduced you, didn't I?” Keeho patted him on the back.

“I’m serious. Just text him whatever,” he added after seeing the uneasy expression on Intak’s face.

Clearly considering his job done, Keeho left to enjoy his coffee, leaving Intak to pace. Intak thought he seemed a little distracted, but his attention shifted back to the screen, which was still showing Taeyang’s message, the blinking cursor mocking him.

Overthinking had never done him any good.

 

 

Not worth a third visit?

 

 

did you want me to come?

Before Intak could hide his phone away, Taeyang had already replied.

 

 

yes

He resisted the urge to call, to make sure it really was Taeyang on the other side.

I’ll be there on friday

Seeing the read receipt, Intak waited, but no reply came. He switched to Jongseob’s chat to confirm their meeting for tomorrow instead.

They met at a cafe Jongseob had recommended, where they spent almost three hours showing each other their work and drinking coffee at an unhealthy pace.

Jongseob presented himself the way Intak wished others to perceive him. Hard working, ambitious, creative, with an air of confidence in his skill, but not hiding any frustrations that arose. He’d already earned Intak’s respect.

Another thing that astonished Intak was the number of songs Jongseob had completed.

“When did you find the time to write 80 songs?” Intak asked in disbelief. He’d written maybe half of that.

“I don’t know. Honestly, it wasn’t the best period of my life. I was too stressed and didn’t enjoy my life as much as I should’ve.” After a pause, he mumbled, “I wish I’d met Taeyang-hyung sooner.” 

Intak glossed over the comment, unsure if he was supposed to hear it. “I really like this one,” he said and grabbed one of the papers with lyrics about change and breaking from the control of unspecified powerful others. “I think we could do something with a similar attitude and energy.”

Intak left the cafe deep in thought and papers filled with inspiration.

 

—

 

Next week felt exceptionally mundane, knowing he would get to see Taeyang on Friday.

Taeyang hadn’t sent any more texts, but he also didn’t block him or text him to fuck off.

Intak considered borrowing Keeho’s car since he was home, but unlike last time, he would probably order something alcoholic tonight. He got there ten minutes before the performance, like clockwork. In case Jongseob or anyone else joined them tonight, he took a booth. He watched the performance, slowly sipping on his rice wine. He cheered a bit louder than the others, but he didn't care.

He managed to finish the whole drink, even order a new bottle of soda, before Taeyang came out—alone this time. While Taeyang was ordering at the bar, Intak took the time to observe him. Taeyang seemed a bit flushed, and there was something different about him. Intak realised this was his first time seeing Taeyang without a leather jacket, dressed in his regular oversized white t-shirt, tastefully torn up in some places, showing off his arms. Intak squinted. Tattoos?

As if sensing his stare, Taeyang glanced over and let his gaze travel up and down Intak’s body. He nodded in greeting. Intak raised his hand in a subtle wave, suddenly unsure of what to do with his hands, after being on the receiving end of that look. The air felt stiff. Intak thought he could choke on the anticipation surrounding him.

Taeyang walked over, sitting in the seat opposite him with a bottle of soju in hand.

“Hello, Intak-ssi,” he drawled. “How was the performance?”

“Captivating.”

Taeyang hummed vaguely, taking a sip of his drink. He tilted his head, eyes locked on Intak, not saying a word. He was looking at him like he was expecting something.

Intak lifted the bottle to his lips, hoping to ease the sudden dryness in his mouth.

As if Taeyang had been waiting for this moment, he spoke up, “You want to fuck me.”

Intak choked, barely keeping the drink inside his mouth.

Taeyang gave him a blank look, as if he were stating the obvious.

“Uh,” Intak said, his mouth beating his brain to the punch.

“Am I wrong?” Raising an eyebrow, Taeyang leaned leisurely against the backrest.

“I do not—not want to fuck you,” he said, sounding nonsensical even to himself. Trying to salvage the situation, he added, “What I mean is that I’m interested in you. That would just be a bonus.”

“Liar,” Taeyang stated, which only deepened Intak’s confusion.

Now that he took a closer look at Taeyang, the flushed face he’d noticed earlier, combined with the hazy look and subtle sluggishness, began to paint a suspicious picture.

“Are you drunk?” he asked in unmasked disbelief. Was that what took him so long after the performance?

“Do I look like I’m drunk?” he scoffed.

“Kinda,” Intak replied with hesitation, realising that despite posing it as a question, he might have sounded accusatory.

“I’m fine.”

“Okay,” Intak said, at a loss. Taeyang didn’t seem like a lightweight, based on previous observations—and Intak did a lot of observing. So he must’ve had a lot, but Intak sure as hell wasn’t going to insist that Taeyang was drunk.

“So?”

“So what?”

“Want to fuck me? If you beg, I might let you.” The corner of Taeyang’s mouth twitched, barely breaking through his otherwise impassive face.

It took immense effort for Intak not to give any visible reaction. It didn’t feel appropriate to respond to Taeyang’s advances right now.

Something was off.

“What are you doing?” Intak decided not to beat around the bush.

“I’m offering you something that you want. And I know you want it,” Taeyang said in the same deadpan tone with the same neutral expression. It was starting to make Intak feel uneasy, like he wasn’t meant to witness this.

He leaned back in his seat, mimicking Taeyang’s position. “What I want right now is a glass of water, what about you?” he asked.

“Huh?” Taeyang frowned.

Intak must have derailed the script Taeyang made up in his head.

“I’ll go get it,” he said, ignoring Taeyang’s confusion.

Returning with two glasses of cold water, he set one in front of Taeyang and settled back into his seat, nursing the other glass in his hand. He leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes, giving Taeyang time to decide how the rest of the night would go.

The silence stretched.

The next hour passed quietly.

They sipped their water.

They didn't speak. 

Still, Intak felt privileged at this moment. Taeyang didn’t offer explanations or confessions, but the atmosphere surrounding them was comforting, if only a tad awkward.

After finishing his second glass, Taeyang straightened up and cleared his throat. “I’m going home.”

Intak snapped to attention. “Okay, wanna take the taxi together?” he asked, already pulling his phone out.

After a moment of hesitation, Taeyang nodded.

The taxi ride was much the same—quiet.

Before getting off, Taeyang turned to him and murmured, “Thanks.”

He sounded reluctant, making Intak chuckle. Luckily, Taeyang didn’t seem offended. He just pouted in response.

“Goodnight, Taeyang-ssi.”

Intak was convinced he wouldn’t hear from Taeyang for another week.

 

—

 

Taeyang called him first thing in the morning.

“I want to apologise for last night. I behaved in a very embarrassing way,” he said, using the formal tone that Intak was beginning to despise. Intak could name ten more embarrassing things he himself had done off the top of his head.

Taeyang cleared his throat. “It won’t happen again.”

“It’s okay,” Intak said, weighing the pros and cons of asking what had led to his ‘embarrassing behaviour’. Deciding he’d rather keep Taeyang on the line, he asked, “Am I still invited next Friday?” making sure his tone came across as teasing.

“Sure, but I won’t be there.”

“Oh, you have other plans?”

“No, I’m fired,” he scoffed.

“What? Because of yesterday?” 

“No,” he sighed. “Not fired, I guess, more like laid off. I got told last week, this was just my last show.”

Something clicked.

“Oh.”

“Anyway,” Taeyang moved past Intak's poor reply, “Let me make it up to you.”

“There's nothing to make up for,” he replied instinctively, before registering what Taeyang had suggested.

“Okay, never mind,” Taeyang said as if it was nothing, as if he didn't just short-circuit Intak's brain.

“No!” Intak blurted out, wincing at the unnecessarily loud volume. “I mean—yes, you can make it up to me,” he finished, feeling the heat crawl up his face. He was glad Taeyang couldn't see him.

“I'll text you, Intak-ssi,” Taeyang replied, laughing quietly.

After saying goodbye, Intak spent the next couple of minutes staring blankly at the ceiling, heart unable to settle down.

 

—

 

Taeyang refused to pick a spot for their plans, leaving the planning to Intak. After too much deliberation, Intak chose Lotte World. It wasn’t his favourite place by any means, but since there was so much to do, he hoped Taeyang would find something to enjoy. He also didn’t want to presume anything by inviting Taeyang to dinner or another bar.

Unsurprisingly, Taeyang had been to the park multiple times, making Intak painfully aware of his lack of originality, though Taeyang wouldn’t let him take it back.

Taeyang said he was busy most mornings working part-time in a restaurant. He mentioned that a distant relative owned it, so he didn't want to cause unnecessary trouble by changing his schedule, but his Fridays were now free. They met right as the park opened to avoid the rush, though there were already plenty of people around. Despite Taeyang insisting he was ‘making up’ for last week, Intak wouldn’t let him pay.

The October weather treated them nicely, with clear skies and a light breeze, which kept sweeping through Taeyang’s long hair, making him look even more like he belonged on the cover of a magazine. It was difficult for Intak to look away.

Taeyang was only interested in riding a carousel, a roller coaster, and a couple of spinning rides. Intak spent the first hour trailing after him—not that he minded.

After spending most of the time standing in lines, Taeyang suggested ice skating.

“Nooo,” Intak complained. “I don’t know how to ice skate.” 

“It’s not difficult,” Taeyang said, steering them in the direction of the indoor ice rink, as if Intak agreeing was a given.

“I definitely don’t want to try,” he groaned, beginning to feel a little childish, but not backing down.

Taeyang came to a halt, and Intak almost crushed into him. He tilted his head, lips pursed, putting on a show of contemplating something. “You don’t want to watch me skate?”

“I do, I just won’t join you,” Intak said, putting up his hands in surrender.

“That’s no fun.” Taeyang leaned closer, whispering, “I want to watch you too.”

Intak’s breath caught in his throat. “The only thing you would see is me, embarrassing myself.”

Taeyang gave him a pointed look.

They reached the ice rink. Much to Intak's relief, it wasn’t packed at this hour.

“Intak-ssi?” Taeyang asked, stealing his attention back and offering him a last chance to change his mind, before going to rent a pair of skates.

Intak hoped Keeho would never find out someone got him to stand on the ice.

All he did for most of the hour they spent there was stand off to the side, gripping the boards and staring at Taeyang, who seemed pleased with himself. He tried to help Intak a couple of times before they gave up because Intak wasn’t keen on falling for a third time, and Taeyang was chuckling too much to be helpful.

Intak wasn’t proud of the number of pretty photos he took of Taeyang leisurely skating around him. Taeyang wasn’t doing anything extravagant. He was enjoying the moment, stopping by Intak here and there. At the end, he took a couple of photos of Intak, too.

The slight smile Taeyang wore behind the phone made it all worth it.

After grabbing a couple of pretzels, coffee for Intak and apple juice for Taeyang, they sat down on an empty bench nearby. It was getting too crowded, and neither of them felt up for any more rides. Intak suggested checking out the gift shop, but Taeyang didn’t seem too thrilled about it.

They walked around a bit before Taeyang caught sight of games with ‘exciting prizes’.

“Intak-ssi, want to win me something?” he asked excitedly.

Taeyang’s smile was infectious.

Learning that they were both quite competitive meant that they played around for longer than even some of the children. The only one who managed to win anything was technically Taeyang, after annihilating many animated characters on the screen, but, to their disappointment, there was no physical prize. Intak didn't care, because no matter the expression on Taeyang’s face, he seemed to be having a good time.

Intak couldn't look away.

Right outside the building was a gift shop, but Intak barely glanced at it, satisfied enough with their time at the entertainment centre. 

Taeyang grabbed his hand as they were passing by it.

“Didn’t you want to go?” Taeyang asked, though it sounded more like a statement than a question. Not waiting for a reply, he went in, leaving Intak rooted to the spot.

Taeyang grabbed his hand.

Taeyang grabbed his hand because he knew Intak wanted to check out a gift shop before.

The thought refused to settle. He followed him, a little unsteady. It seemed so ordinary, but knowing Taeyang listened and paid attention to him? He was delighted.

Entering the gift shop, Intak was hit with so many colours and so much clutter that it brought a smile to his face. He loved the chaotic atmosphere and pointless junk.

Inside, Intak came to find his favourite thing about Taeyang, which wasn’t an easy pick. They looked around at all the displays, picking up things to show each other, commenting on the prices, and guessing which item was the biggest tourist scam.

His favourite part was that one minute, Taeyang was side-eyeing a figurine that showed a poor depiction of a random animal, the next time he looked at Taeyang, he had a plastic crown from Frozen on his head, showing off, and after that, he put on the most ridiculous glasses with blinding reflective glitter sparkles to take photos with.

It was ridiculously endearing, and Intak finally felt like he was seeing more of Taeyang—of who he was when he let go, simply being himself. A little unhinged and weird, very funny and opinionated. Intak enjoyed this newly discovered side of him. He liked the quiet side too. He liked everything about Taeyang.

They left the gift shop with a photo of themselves in matching, over-the-top glasses.

Around two o’clock, Taeyang started complaining about the crowd, and after four hours at the park, Intak had to agree.

“Do you want to get lunch?” Intak asked on their way out.

“I’m not hungry.”

The tone cooled something in Intak’s chest. Before he could come up with a different plan, Taeyang added, “There’s a record shop I want to visit.”

They spent the next hour drifting between what were clearly Taeyang’s favourite music stores, and though he never bought anything, Intak committed every item Taeyang pointed out to memory.

One store had a very impressive drum set. Intak lingered over it longer than necessary, but seeing Taeyang act the same way around guitars felt dangerously endearing.

He got home around four, the realisation sinking in. 

It didn't come as a big revelation, but rather a calm acceptance.

Intak wanted Taeyang in his life.

It was no longer a question of ‘want to date?’ but a need to say, ‘stay in my life—however you want.’

 

—

 

Intak discovered that having regular classes meant that he was excluded from most weekday outings. He became aware of it on Tuesday when he came home to Keeho and Taeyang blasting music, their voices carrying far past the front door. Intak sent a quick prayer to their neighbours as he unlocked the door.

“Intak-ah! Come here,” Keeho called from the couch as soon as Intak entered.

Taeyang was sitting next to him, playing the guitar along to the song coming from the speaker. Seeing Taeyang spread out on their couch wearing casual clothes, looking relaxed, did things to Intak's head that he didn't want to name.

He walked over, tilting his head in confusion.

“See! I told you he’s like a puppy,” Keeho said, pointing at him.

Heat crawled over Intak’s face.

What the fuck had he been telling Taeyang?

“I noticed,” Taeyang hummed in agreement without interrupting his playing.

“What are you guys doing?” Intak asked, not even attempting to address their comments.

“Playing the guitar.”

“Singing.”

Right.

The musical performance continued, and Intak hovered awkwardly, unsure if he was welcome.

He and Taeyang were friends now… right?

He eyed the occupied couch.

To save himself the potential embarrassment, he turned around to get a glass of water and retreat to his bedroom, while trying not to think about Taeyang sitting one room over.

He drank the glass of water in one go and decided to make a cup of coffee instead, all the while listening to Taeyang and Keeho mess around in the living room. Seeing them become friends at such a rapid pace felt somehow both disheartening and encouraging. He knew there was no need for jealousy. Keeho was very good at making friends—he made it look easy—and Intak found it admirable, but he wished he had the knack for it, too.

When he walked out of the kitchen, heading toward his room, the guitar stopped abruptly, and Taeyang called out, “Where are you going?”

Intak looked back at his blank expression and hesitated. “To my room…” he replied and glanced between them. Keeho was barely suppressing a smirk, and Intak knew he’d get teased relentlessly whether he joined them or not.

“Are you busy?” Taeyang continued his query.

“Not really.” Intak shrugged, trying to appear more nonchalant than he felt.

“Then what are you doing?” Taeyang deadpanned. He adjusted his posture so there was enough space for Intak to fit between them on the couch, and nodded toward it.

This time, there was no hesitation in Intak’s step.

He only sort of regretted it after enduring multiple deafening moments and too many slaps, because apparently, Taeyang loved hitting people when he laughed, and Keeho just lived for being annoying, so he joined in too.

Later, lying in bed, Intak noticed both Taeyang and Jongseob had been added to their group chat. Unless he missed something, Keeho had never met Jongseob, but Intak wasn’t surprised by the action. He knew it was only a matter of time before Keeho would organise a board game night or a similar bonding activity.

All the ruminating over Taeyang distracted Intak enough that he forgot he’d ever planned to check out Jongseob's website. So, the next morning, he compiled some materials to create a quasi-portfolio. The site was easy to navigate because Jongseob gave him a detailed explanation about all the features. He instructed Intak to follow anyone who piqued his interest and to upload very short snippets of whatever he wanted—videos, lyrics, music sheets. Nothing was guaranteed, but Intak complied, excited solely by the prospect of speaking with someone in a similar field about their creative process.

After he was finished, his thoughts steered back to Taeyang.

He had to stop worrying about Taeyang blowing him off.

On Thursday evening, Intak decided, ‘Fuck it,’ and dialled Taeyang's number.

Somehow, from that day onward, Fridays became theirs.

 

—

 

Their relationship began to shift at the beginning of November when Taeyang took him to his favourite music bar in Daejeon.

“I stole Jongseob's car for this,” Taeyang said by way of greeting, waiting outside Intak's apartment, leaning against the car and tapping his foot.

Intak took him in.

They were both dressed similarly to the first night they met, making Intak feel nostalgic for something that happened barely two months ago.

“Did you really? He's going to kill us.” Intak shuddered in exaggeration. “We should steal Keeho's next time.” 

“I'm in.” Taeyang nodded and got in.

“You didn't tell me where we were going,” Intak said, making himself comfortable in the passenger seat.

“There’s this music bar I like,” he answered vaguely.

“Why in Daejeon, though? That's really far.”

“Yah, Intak-ssi. You aren't excited to spend two hours in the car with me?” Taeyang still had a hard time letting go of the formalities. The only silver lining was that he acted the same with all of them—except Jongseob, of course.

Not everyone had the privilege of getting a private concert from Taeyang, but Intak did. It didn’t take long to notice how similar Taeyang and Keeho were sometimes. For once, Intak was thankful to Keeho for making him resilient to constant auditory input.

As Intak sat in the car, listening to Taeyang sing along to whatever was on his playlist, he thought about how today felt more personal. It was the first time they’d be going outside of Seoul for one of their outings. The brief flashback to their first meeting threw him off, bringing back memories of how utterly captivating Taeyang had been from the moment Intak first saw and heard him on stage.

They’d been to a market a couple of weeks ago, and last Friday, Taeyang brought him along with Jongseob to an outdoor performance raising money for animal shelters, which Jiung had apparently told him about. When that happened, Intak had no idea. Sometimes, Keeho would mention Taeyang in passing, making him aware of how Taeyang blended into the friend group, as if he’d always been meant to belong there.

Taeyang’s presence was slowly becoming a stable fixture in his life, and he had no intention of doing anything that would jeopardise it.

However, there was a strange dissonance between how things were now and the night at the bar when Taeyang got drunk. It was as if it never happened, which Intak was partially grateful for, but at the same time, he was left unsure whether their relationship would ever be anything other than platonic.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts, bringing Taeyang’s voice back to the forefront. Intak’s lips curled into an easy smile. As long as Taeyang stuck around, he was fine with anything—happy to let Taeyang set the pace.

They got to the bar around eight. At first glance, Intak thought the place seemed quite standard for a music bar. There were no string lights; instead, ceiling spotlights alternated between blue and purple tones. The ground floor had barely any seating, clearly arranged for small concerts, with people already swaying to the music in front of the empty stage. But unlike the bar where he’d met Taeyang, this place had a proper stage equipped with professional gear and dedicated lighting, making him raise his brow in appreciation. 

Taeyang grabbed his arm and dragged him upstairs to sit, having reserved a small table for them. The casual touches were becoming a habit, one Intak still wasn't used to. He ordered a soda, while Taeyang got a small beer mug, both silently agreeing that Intak would be driving them back.  

The speakers were playing loud electronic beats fitting for the surroundings, in Intak's opinion. Taeyang crossed his arms on the table and rested his head on them, his eyes never leaving Intak. Taeyang had put glitter around them, making his eyes even more mesmerising under the ambient lighting.

“How do you like it here?” Taeyang asked.

“It’s pretty modern. The equipment looks high quality, I can't wait to hear it.” Intak took a sip of his drink. “Why this bar?” he repeated his question from earlier. Taeyang’s reluctance to share felt habitual, much like his formality, and Intak was determined to break through.

Taeyang turned his gaze toward the empty stage. “Good memories. It makes me feel a bit sentimental.”

Intak let his gaze wander around the bar again, imagining what it would be like to meet Taeyang here, years ago. Maybe he'd see him on stage, or catch him by the bar and introduce himself without knowing what he was getting into. 

“Did you always want to dance, Intak-ssi?” Taeyang asked all of a sudden.

“Yeah. I’ve been taking classes since I was a child.”

“What about being a choreographer? That’s what you’re focusing on now, right?”

Intak considered the question for a moment. “I mean, yeah, I’m trying to get better at it, but,” he shrugged, “maybe I’ll get into professional dancing after uni anyway. I don’t know. I’m having fun coming up with different moves, matching them to the music the way I want, you know? It’s gratifying to see it all come together.”

“What if it doesn’t work out, though?” Taeyang asked quietly.

“I’ll just work harder,” Intak laughed good-naturedly.

“You’re always so positive,” Taeyang said, a faint smile on his face.

“You can just say naive, I get that a lot. But, yeah, I am.” Intak shrugged it off.

“No. I like it,” Taeyang mumbled, and Intak found himself on the receiving end of one of Taeyang’s rare fond looks—the one that made everything around them disappear under the pressure of Taeyang’s warm gaze.

Intak relished it.

The stage began to fill with musicians, and Intak could once again visualise Taeyang standing there instead, among the high-tech equipment and neon lights.

“Did you spend a lot of time here?” Intak asked.

“Mhm, I used to live here.”

“Ah, why did you move to Seoul?” Intak continued, eager to quench the thirst for more knowledge about Taeyang’s life.

There was a subtle change in Taeyang's expression. “To move on to bigger and better things,” he chuckled, humourless. “Yah, you shouldn't waste your time with me, Intak-ssi,” he added quietly.

Intak's stomach tightened uncomfortably.

That didn’t sound right.

Taeyang jumped up, giving him no time to process.

“Let's go. They'll start soon,” he exclaimed and headed downstairs.

Intak inhaled uneasily, rattled by the shift in the atmosphere, before following.

The band was impressive, Intak guessed, because he couldn't focus. Taeyang’s confession kept replaying in his head.

It felt like it came out nowhere, but then he thought back to their first meetings—back to the unreadable expression Taeyang had reserved for him only, back to the night when Taeyang laughed Intak’s genuine interest off. Maybe it wasn’t out of the blue.

About halfway through the performance, Taeyang said his knees were starting to hurt and that he would go upstairs. Intak moved to trail him before Taeyang stopped, lightly pushing him back with his hand. “You can stay.”

Intak took the hint.

He lasted maybe five more songs with his mind wandering, the surroundings melting together, until the pull tying him to Taeyang tugged him back upstairs. A wave of relief washed over him when he noticed Taeyang was sipping a newly ordered soda.

“Sometimes I have issues with my knees if I stand too long,” Taeyang said, looking past him as Intak sat down. 

Before Intak could acknowledge anything, he barreled on, “I actually performed here once, when the main singer got sick. It took me months to find any gig in Seoul, and all of them were temporary. I could still only work part-time if I wanted to make time for my guitar lessons, vocal coaching, and performing. It's funny because now I don't have any gigs, and I wasn't able to afford either of those things in nearly two months,” he cleared his throat, cutting himself off, fingers worrying the soda sticker until it fell apart in tiny pieces across the table.

“I don't understand.” Intak wished he had a better response, but Taeyang caught him off guard.

“I shouldn't have said that.” Taeyang wrinkled his nose and sighed. “I don't know what came over me.”

“I don't understand,” Intak repeated for a different reason.

“What do you not understand? I said forget it.” Taeyang straightened up in his seat, shoulders rising in defence.

“I don't understand why you regret sharing any of that with me.” Intak shrugged, subtly shaking his head.

Taeyang only furrowed his brow.

“We are friends, Taeyang-ssi.”

Taeyang shook his head, momentarily glancing away. He inhaled sharply.

Then—“We are,” he replied.

Looking at Taeyang’s expression, Intak couldn't help but feel like he misunderstood something that night.

 

—

 

“Hey, we should plan something together before Jiung gets too busy for us,” Keeho said instead of a good morning. 

“All six of us, I’m guessing” Intak joined him at the coffee maker, leaning against the cupboards.

“Duh. I was thinking of a game night or a movie night at our place.”

“No way, really?” Intak snorted. “Have they all met yet?”

Keeho gaped at him. “Do you know anything about what’s going on here? Did you mute the group chat again?”

Intak tilted his head in consideration. 

“You have no idea, do you?” Keeho sighed, exasperated, before jumping into a lengthy recapitulation.

He learned that Keeho had met Jongseob while shopping with Taeyang last week. Taeyang didn’t enjoy shopping as much, so he brought Jongseob along, and Keeho realised he had another person to fawn over. Intak couldn’t imagine it being well-received, though.

When it came to others, according to Keeho, Jongseob and Shota had started playing video games together but hadn’t officially met yet. To Intak’s surprise, Taeyang had once joined them and even visited the shelter where Jiung volunteered.

“Jongseob took so many cat photos.” Keeho practically melted over it.

“Did Taeyang tell you all of that?” Intak asked, confused about how much he’d missed while focusing on his current choreography project and ignoring his messages.

“No, Jiung did. Also, check the group chat.” Keeho poked him in the chest.

 

—

 

The game night won the vote, but somehow Jiung managed to win everyone over and planned a movie night. They listened to Jiung rant about how drained he was, saying he had no mental capacity for meticulous board games, and with his competitive spirit, it’d be impossible not to go all in. Intak knew that better than anyone. They wanted Taeyang or Jongseob to pick a movie since they were the most recent additions to their group, but they had no preference, so Shota ended up picking something they’d literally watched last month, but they let it slide.

The usual setup had Keeho and Jiung on the couch, with Shota and Intak on the carpet because the couch could only fit three people. Intak was in the kitchen preparing popcorn and drinks while the others arrived and settled in. When he stepped into the living room, he faltered, confused.

Keeho and Jiung weren’t sitting together.

It was an unfamiliar sight that didn’t belong in this apartment.

Keeho and Taeyang were sitting on the couch with a narrow space left between them, while Jiung was sitting on the floor in front of Taeyang. Jongseob and Shota were seated off to the side on the carpet, presumably waiting for Intak to come before getting comfortable.

Keeho and Jiung were staring blankly into space.

After setting everything down, Intak crouched beside Jiung. The living room was dimly lit, but he could clearly read Jiung’s controlled impassivity in his tense shoulders.

“Why are you sitting here?” he whispered.

Jiung pressed his lips together.

Before Intak could inquire further, he was pulled up by his collar.

“Because he wants to,” Taeyang deadpanned. “You are sitting here,” he continued, pushing Intak onto the couch beside him.

Intak shot him a wide-eyed look, but Taeyang wasn’t paying attention, reaching for a bowl of popcorn. As Intak turned toward Keeho to repeat the question, Taeyang casually threw a leg over his, tugging him closer. Blood rushed to his head, momentarily clouding his vision.

Taeyang still didn't even glance at him.

Intak settled down, leaving the questioning for later.

He was acutely aware of Taeyang’s movements and of the warmth seeping from Taeyang’s leg onto his, diverting his attention from the animated movie Shota had put on. No one but Taeyang was watching the screen. Keeho and Jiung were zoning out. Shota and Jongseob spent the past thirty minutes whispering to each other.

Intak’s hands rested awkwardly over his stomach, making sure they weren’t touching any part of Taeyang’s body. Physical touch was becoming a regular occurrence between them, but this was too much for him to handle in a room full of people.

Eventually, unable to sit still, his body buzzing with restless energy, he got up to refill his glass. 

“Wait, Intak-ah. Refill mine, too,” Taeyang said, holding his glass out, eyes fixed on the screen.

Intak froze, heart in his throat for the second time that night. Taeyang’s eyes widened—so subtly Intak might have imagined it—before his expression settled into something almost challenging. He caught Jiung going still for a split second, though no one else batted an eye.

“Mine too,” Shota said absentmindedly, handing him his glass.

Why was everyone acting like nothing happened?

Intak-ah.

Intak grabbed the three glasses and went into the kitchen without a second glance. He turned toward the sink, which allowed him time to catch his breath and think. He leaned against the cupboards, a smile spreading across his face. He couldn’t help but chuckle to himself. Unless Taeyang took it back, this felt like a new development.

When he returned, Intak found the living room noticeably emptier, with neither Jiung nor Taeyang present.

“Where did they go?” he asked, putting the glasses down. Keeho shrugged, scrolling on his phone.

Intak grabbed the remote. “Is anyone watching that?”

“Nah,” Jongseob replied.

At a loss, Intak paused the movie and sat back down on the couch.

After a couple of minutes filled with occasional whispering from the youngest pair, Jiung and Taeyang returned from Intak’s room. What? Taeyang took his previous spot on the couch, but this time he kept his distance. 

“No one is watching the movie, and this is getting awkward,” Jongseob commented, not even looking up from his phone, making Intak wince in agreement. 

“It was fun.” Shota smiled.

“Not for everyone,” Jiung retorted, crossing his arms.

Sensing tension building, Intak intervened, “Okay, it was great, but since no one is interested in the movie… do you want to do something else, or…?” he trailed off, already knowing the answer. 

“Actually.” Taeyang stood up. “We’re leaving,” he said, gesturing to the others sitting on the floor.

“Huh?” Intak frowned at him.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Taeyang repeated and went to turn on the lights.

There was some less-than-agreeable murmuring, but everyone except Intak and Keeho, who was suspiciously silent, got ready to leave.

Taeyang lingered near Intak as they said their goodbyes by the front door.

“Goodnight, Taeyang-ssi,” Intak said pointedly, holding his gaze.

Taeyang hesitated.

Intak was aware of his slightly elevated heartbeat, echoing the importance of the moment.

Taeyang clicked his tongue, inhaling sharply. “Hyung. Goodnight, Intak-ah.” He turned around before he could catch Intak grinning from ear to ear.

Intak came back to Keeho, sprawled across the couch, his arm draped over his eyes.

Intak sat down beside him on the floor.

“What happened between you and Jiung?”

“Not gonna let me breathe?”

“Hyung.”

Keeho sighed, sitting up and leaned against the cushion. Intak waited, letting him work through his thoughts.

“Do you think it was a mistake to move out?” Keeho asked, his face weary. He suddenly looked much older, the shadow under his eyes prominent in the brightly lit living room.

Intak took a deep breath, thoughts wandering back. Meeting Keeho was pure luck. They were both looking for roommates. Intak, admittedly, because he was lonely, and Keeho’s reason was dissatisfaction with his roommate at the time, Jiung. Intak heard all about it during the roommate interview, which ended up turning into a casual hangout, because even though they’d just met, they got along well immediately. Intak got to see the infamous Jiung in person when he helped Keeho move the ridiculous amount of boxes piled up by the door at his old apartment, and he thought that would be the end of it.

He was wrong.

Even though Keeho had been comfortably settled in Intak's apartment for some time, he was still unable to stop mentioning Jiung. Intak was almost convinced they were exes, and Keeho hadn't felt comfortable sharing that yet. It prompted Intak to start a very awkward conversation in which he tried to hint that he was totally okay with Keeho being into men, since he was, too, and Keeho never let him live it down.

Intak’s efforts to get Keeho and Jiung to talk were futile, so he eased them into group hangouts instead, and now, years later, their relationship had improved drastically. It was a pleasant development Intak was forever grateful for, but the memories of constant petty arguments between Keeho and Jiung, that had been taken too seriously, couldn't be erased.

Sometimes the tension reared its ugly head, but there hadn't been a major argument in a very long time. Intak thought their strange mutual obsession and newfound solace would turn into something more, something with a new name, but it had never happened.

Still, Intak wasn’t one to dwell on the negatives.

“I think it was inevitable. You probably fixed your relationship only because you weren’t constantly in each other’s presence,” Intak pondered.

“Yeah, but…” Keeho ran his fingers through his short hair, ruffling it out of frustration. “Is it fixed?”

“You seem happier,” Intak answered carefully, but he knew they were both thinking the same thing.

“Do you think that Jiung…” Keeho started, but squeezed his eyes shut, unable to finish the sentence.

“What happened, hyung?” Intak asked softly.

“I think I misread something,” Keeho sighed.

“I don’t know about that.” Intak shook his head. He might not know the specifics, but he had his own guesses; he also had eyes. “Talk to Jiung, but please actually listen to each other. You are both driving me crazy,” he groaned.

“Okay, Intak-ah,” Keeho smirked.

A wide smile overtook Intak’s face. “How did no one react to that?” he couldn't help but ask.

“To be fair, I thought you'd moved past that point already.” Keeho shrugged.

“Wait, did you and Taeyang?”

“Nah, don't worry,” Keeho said with a laugh at Intak’s crestfallen expression. “But now Taeyangie won't get away with only calling me Keeho-ssi anymore.”

“It’s funny, isn’t it…” Keeho continued after a brief pause.

“Hm?”

“Taeyang and Jongseob. I wasn’t expecting this,” Keeho admitted. “I thought maybe I would help Taeyang with some promo, but not even that— I knew you two would get along like I said, but it has become so much… more, hasn't it? We all get along and have things in common.” He shook his head in a little disbelief, confirming what Intak had observed too. “It’s been a while since I became so close to someone this fast. And Jiung…” He paused again. “I’m glad.”

Hearing Keeho be so open and honest prompted Intak to add a little admission of his own. “I like him so much, Keeho…” he whispered, raw and honest, too. He was aware he was stating the obvious, but he hadn’t said it out loud yet, not like this.

Keeho ruffled his hair, lips curled into a genuine smile. “I know,” he replied, no trace of smugness or sarcasm in his voice for once, just affection.

Intak dialled Taeyang's number as soon as he lay down.

“Yeah?”

“Hey, hyung!” Intak greeted, immediately using his hyung privileges. “I wanted to ask, did you talk to Jiung about Keeho?” 

“Obviously.”

Intak sighed in relief.

He had a feeling.

He was somewhat surprised when Keeho mentioned that Taeyang and Jiung had spent time together at the shelter, but then Intak noticed that they seemed to be on the same wavelength sometimes. It was just as Keeho had said. Taeyang must have a special talent for making people around him feel comfortable, because he was able to match everyone's energy, even though they all had quite different personalities.

Warmth bloomed in his chest, still tender from everything that had happened today.

Taeyang just fit.

“Intak-ah,” an impatient voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Sorry, sorry, I was thinking,” Intak replied. He was thrown back to when Taeyang had called him that, and Jiung had frozen for a moment.

“What did you and Jiung talk about in my room?” Intak asked, trying to sound casual, but judging by Taeyang's snort, it was obvious.

“Why? Want to know if we talked about you?” Taeyang asked with a teasing lilt to his voice.

If Intak weren’t convinced, he wouldn't be so cocky, but… “You were.”

“Mhm, maybe. Maybe not.” There was a playfulness lacing his tone, the smile practically audible in his voice.

Intak’s smirk eased into something softer.

Why was everything about Taeyang so endearing?

Unfortunately, Taeyang wasn't keen on entertaining him much longer or offering any confessions, so Intak admitted defeat and said goodnight.

The knowledge that Taeyang had talked to Jiung about him excited him more than it probably should have, but it made their relationship feel so real, three-dimensional, and most importantly, mutual.

 

—

 

Beginning in December, Intak started to see Taeyang less often as he transitioned from part-time to full-time work as a server. What bothered Intak more, though, was Taeyang’s increasingly solemn mood.

“Why do you not like posting on socials?” Intak asked, interrupting the tranquil atmosphere.

He heard Keeho had tried to convince Taeyang to post multiple times, but was unsuccessful. Taeyang’s account was still up, but it was basically abandoned. He never shared why he'd developed a distaste for it. Since the promotional offer from Keeho’s company was financially out of the question, Intak was hoping to find other ways that might prove helpful.

Taeyang was lying on the couch with his legs propped up on Intak’s lap.

Intak stopped hesitating to touch him after seeing Taeyang lean into it—or passively accept it, in his own Taeyang way—so now he gently massaged his calves as Taeyang mindlessly strummed the guitar, eyes fixed on the ceiling. The cute pink plastic hair clip holding his hair in place kept stealing Intak's attention.

“I had a social media manager when I was younger.” Taeyang clicked his tongue. “It’s not necessarily that I dislike posting, but I had a bad experience.”

“You haven’t posted in a while,” Intak said quietly.

“Do you like going through my pictures, Intak-ah?” Taeyang asked, making a smile flicker over Intak’s lips.

“Then why?”

“There's nothing to tell.”

Intak rolled his eyes. “You can just post a selfie or a video of you singing and playing the guitar. It doesn't need to be anything more. If you want to, you can curate it with later posts—or not.”

“Isn't that boring?”

“Since when do you care?”

“Didn't you know that a boring feed is unacceptable?” Taeyang said through his teeth.

Intak took a moment to think, eyes darting toward Taeyang. There definitely was a story to tell, but he saw no reason to push.

A different thought occurred to him.

“Wait!” Intak sat up, jostling Taeyang and earning himself a glare. “You really like that film camera they have at the antique store, so maybe we could buy it. It might be fun taking photos with it, plus it will make your feed match.”

“Intak, I'm broke,” Taeyang deadpanned.

“Right, I'll buy it. You know I get plenty of money from my parents."

“Intak-ah…” Taeyang sighed.

“Think of it as a Christmas present.”

“It's not Christmas.”

“Okay, I will give it to you next week then.” Intak grinned at him, staring him down to show that there was no point in arguing. 

Taeyang pursed his lips, then his eyes widened. “I should dye my hair.” He suddenly sat up too, gently putting his guitar on the floor.

The quiet swell in Intak's chest intensified.

“Which colour?” he asked, unable to constrain his grin.

“Let’s go to the store.” He got up and headed toward the door, Intak trailing after him.

Intak rarely dyed his hair, so he merely observed Taeyang pick up boxes of different shades. He liked watching Taeyang’s expression shift as he examined various colours—the subtle twitch of his brow, his tongue darting out in thought, the click of his tongue at a particular shade of almost neon red. Intak had no idea how immersive shopping could be.

“Is blue too much?” Taeyang asked, pursing his lips while reading the label.

“You’ll look good with any colour,” Intak said, aware of how unhelpful that comment was. 

Still, it was the truth.

Taeyang hummed in agreement, making him chuckle.

They lingered for a few more minutes until Taeyang decided to go for something tame first—a dark brown shade with some fancy name Intak forgot immediately after reading it.

“At least my hair’s bleached already,” Taeyang commented as they rounded the corner of the aisle.

A sudden crash startled both of them. A little girl ran straight into Taeyang and fell, accidentally knocking some products off the shelf. They all blinked at each other.

Then she started crying.

“Are you okay?” Taeyang spoke softly, crouching in front of her.

She nodded, wiping her eyes. Intak looked around for her parents, but the aisle was empty. He began picking up the fallen goods while keeping an eye on anyone who might be looking for her. If they were close by, they probably heard the commotion.

“I like your hair clip,” she sniffled, looking at Taeyang in wonder with big, teary eyes.

“Oh.” Taeyang’s eyes widened, and his hand flew toward the clip in his hair. “Thank you.”

“Pink is the best colour!”

Taeyang nodded, smiling, eyes crinkling at the corners. Intak was captivated by him once again, barely paying attention to where he was putting whatever he grabbed.

Taeyang carefully removed the hair clip to show it off. He extended his hand toward the girl. “Would you like to have it?”

“Can I? Please, please, please!” She got up from the floor and began jumping up and down like Taeyang had offered her the greatest treasure imaginable.

Intak loved children's ability to get excited over the little things. It was impossible not to smile at that.

“There you are!” They were interrupted by a woman frantically walking toward them. “Is everything okay? What happened?” 

“It's okay. We just ran into each other," Intak explained.

“I’m so sorry.” She bowed her head.

“Mommy! Look what I got.” The girl showed off Taeyang's hair clip, waving it around.

Her mother shook her head in confusion.

Taeyang stood up to address her. “She can keep it. Pink is the best colour.”

“Oh, you don't h–” she started.

“Thank you!” The girl beamed at Taeyang, her previous fumble forgotten. It brought a fond smile to her mother’s face, too, probably knowing her daughter and the hair clip were now inseparable. She immediately gave up protesting and echoed her gratitude to both of them.

“You're welcome. We'll get going.” Taeyang smiled.

They exchanged formalities and, with a last wave to the girl, left.

“You're so sweet,” Intak commented. It came out teasingly, but he meant it. Taeyang was kind.

“You didn't tell me I still had it in my hair.” Taeyang pouted, glossing over his comment.

“It's cute.” Intak shrugged, getting shoved in return.

It was almost unbearable how fond Intak had grown of him.

As soon as they entered the apartment, Taeyang pushed the box dye into Intak’s hands and walked toward the bathroom, clearly indicating Intak would be the one doing the work.

It ended up being weirdly fun but also endlessly tedious because Taeyang spent the whole process wincing or fixing whatever he decided wasn’t good enough. Still, he wouldn't do it himself.

Intak indulged him. It gave him an excuse to run his hands through Taeyang’s silky smooth hair as much as he wanted. The domesticity of it all made his heart ache with fondness. It also made him yearn for more—a longer touch, hands on other parts of Taeyang’s body, a different kind of reciprocity.

There were moments when he thought that Taeyang felt the same, when his eyes followed Intak throughout the room, when his touch lingered, but the night at the bar continued to haunt him. He was adamant about leaving boundaries in Taeyang's hands, because Intak would take anything he was willing to give. Though he probably couldn’t handle something casual, he was far past that point.

After an hour of work and subsequent meaningless conversations, Taeyang's brown hair was dry. He was running his hand through it, checking for coverage, and admiring the result in the smudged mirror.

So was Intak.

“How does it look?” Taeyang asked, catching Intak's eye in the reflection.

Intak swallowed with effort. “Perfect.”

Taeyang's eyes flicked away, a faint smile playing on his lips.

 

—

 

Intak’s choreography project got rejected on Monday before the holidays started.

He was lying on the couch, rewatching every single video from practices, going over what his professor had told him, and looking for any of the aforementioned mistakes. He understood why Shota preferred to do his own thing. Using the school premises only to practise for dance competitions and to focus on dance courses, rather than on the curriculum, seemed tempting. Intak was rejected for something that boiled down to his unique style. That’s not easily fixable. He wanted dancing to be enjoyable and allow self-expression. Now, he felt like he had neither.

There were two weeks until the new deadline.

He’d only mentioned it to Taeyang in passing, but his frustrations must have bled over into their interactions because Taeyang showed up a day before Christmas.

“What are you doing here?” Intak asked, letting him in. “Aren’t you going to Daejeon?”

“I am,” he replied, walking past Intak.

Intak followed and nearly collided with him when Taeyang abruptly turned around.

“I have something for you,” Taeyang said, standing unusually straight, hands shifting in his front pockets.

Fuck, Intak was so distracted that he'd forgotten to buy the film camera.

“No, it’s not a Christmas present,” he added, as if reading Intak’s thoughts. 

Intak blinked.

Taeyang clicked his tongue, inhaling through his teeth. “You don’t think dancing is fun right now,” he stated easily, as if completely understanding Intak without him saying anything was effortless. “We both know that losing interest in something important to you is dangerous,” he continued, taking a piece of paper from his pocket and handing it to Intak. “I think this might help.”

Intak took the note. It had a name and two phone numbers written on it.

“They’re looking for volunteers to teach dancing at a middle school. It’s only once a week for a couple of hours, and it doesn’t clash with your schedule. They’re also open to switching to a different day based on your next semester, but they want the classes to run during the breaks too, so all year round. They don’t have a preference for the style of dancing, and you don’t need to be a professional. It’s a middle school for children from lower-income families, so they want them to have something fun. Something that makes them happy,” Taeyang finished, taking a deep breath.

“What— how?” Intak stared at Taeyang, barely able to get a word out.

“You don’t have to, obviously,” Taeyang said, averting his gaze for a split second.

“Thank you. I’m— I’ll give them a call.”

Taeyang nodded. “I have to go, but… I think you’ll do great, regardless,” he said and squeezed Intak’s arm. His hand slid down until his fingers brushed against the back of Intak’s hand, as if he were about to take it, before retracting it into his pocket.

Taeyang left as quickly as he came, but his touch lingered, and Intak stayed rooted to the spot.

There was tightness in his chest.

The feelings Taeyang evoked in him—the depth of his own emotions—threatened to overwhelm him.

He stared at the scribbled phone numbers.

Did Taeyang understand how much this meant to him?

 

—

 

Christmas passed quietly, with everyone spending it with their families. It was becoming a tradition for Shota and Keeho to celebrate together. Ever since Keeho had learned that Shota didn’t always get to visit Japan for the holidays, he happily stayed with him. Intak hadn't seen much of Jiung, but he was practically guaranteed to graduate, so Intak wasn’t worried. Keeho's confession lingered in the back of Intak’s mind, but neither Keeho nor Jiung brought it up again, and they seemed to be acting the same as before.

New Year's was much the same. They walked the streets, admiring the decorations, played board games, and lazed around Intak and Keeho's apartment. Only Taeyang and Jongseob were missing, off together in Daejeon.

 

—

 

Intak triple-checked that Taeyang was coming back around three o’clock on Sunday. He leaned against the wall by the entrance to his apartment building, shivering slightly, dressed in clothes unfit for prolonged exposure to the cold January weather. He rarely visited there because of the size and condition of Taeyang’s apartment—a single room with malfunctioning heating and a barely stocked pantry. He was glad Taeyang spent most of his time at Intak and Keeho's, or Jongseob’s, apartment.

Jongseob dropped Taeyang off a little after three, waving at him before driving off. Taeyang didn’t appear surprised to see Intak.

He never had.

Intak hadn’t seen him in ten days.

“You’re like a dog, waiting around for me to come back,” Taeyang said, corners of his mouth twitching.

Intak shook his head, already smiling as Taeyang stepped out of the car.

“I have your present,” Intak said.

“Me too,” Taeyang replied, unlocking the door.

“The volunteering was already enough.”

Taeyang clicked his tongue, shooting him a glare—the one where his brow furrowed and eyes narrowed in annoyance. “I said that wasn’t a Christmas present.”

Intak sighed, shaking his head.

He opened the rectangular box Taeyang handed him and examined the present. It was a set of drumsticks made from three different types of wood with slightly abstract engravings. He traced the unique patterns in awe.

“I know you don’t have your own drum set yet, but…” Taeyang shrugged.

Even though Intak wished he had the time, he hadn't touched the drums in months, barely mentioning playing anymore. Still, Taeyang remembered and gave him something that wouldn't let him give up on it so easily.

“Thank you, it's beautiful.” It was ridiculous how emotional he was getting over a Christmas present. Intak added that he appreciated it, that it was kind of him, but Taeyang made a face and waved him off.

They spent the rest of the day trying out Taeyang’s camera in the city. It was mostly Intak taking candid photos of Taeyang. Sometimes Taeyang would take one of him, or of anything that caught his eye, really.

He spent half the day looking at Taeyang through a lens, knowing it would never do him justice.

“Any plans with the photos?” Intak asked on their way back.

They were walking side by side, Intak wearing one of Taeyang's hoodies under his jacket, which Taeyang had thrown at him after scolding him for waiting outside in a fashionable jacket instead of something warm.

“I’ll consider it, Intak-ah,” Taeyang said, sounding like he really meant it.

Intak wished to take his hand and intertwine their fingers, to warm them and swing their hands like little kids. He wanted to tell Taeyang how happy and proud he was of him for not brushing it off and for opening up, but he worried it might come off as condescending, even though that was the last thing he felt.

So all he said was, “I’m glad.”

 

—

 

Intak had a hard time catching Shota in the practise room to ask him for advice about his project, so when Jiung called him on Tuesday around noon to ask if he and Shota wanted to get lunch with him at the restaurant Taeyang worked at, Intak put everything aside and agreed. Jiung said he was leaving earlier than usual because a new volunteer needed training, and he would pick both of them up.

Even though Intak had never been there, he knew Taeyang's work was quite close to the shelter, which was probably why Taeyang had the time to stop by sometimes.

Jiung looked tired, like someone who'd spent the last couple of months buried in books and the rest of the time working, but he still greeted them with a wide smile.

The restaurant was a small, cosy place with basic circular and rectangular wooden tables paired with wooden chairs. The big windows let daylight seep in, creating a comforting, homely atmosphere. There were only a few people around, and judging by their clothing, Intak guessed they were making use of their lunch breaks.

As soon as they walked in, Taeyang noticed them and nodded toward one of the empty four-person tables by the wall. The chair creaked slightly as Intak sat down, but it only added to the ambience. Jiung and Shota settled on the opposite side of him.

Taeyang appeared with a notepad to greet them and take their orders. Intak took a second to admire him in a different kind of attire—a black button-up with tight black jeans covered by a longish black apron. His gaze lingered on Taeyang all the way to the kitchen. Jiung’s snort brought him back to the present. Intak knew he was blatantly staring.

“Anyway,” Intak started, not eager to get teased about Taeyang again. “Wanna see the choreography?” He pulled out his phone, wasting no time to get it out of the way before their food arrived.

Shota watched with laser focus, and although Intak knew Jiung wasn't up for advising him on something he didn’t consider himself to be perfect at, he still watched and complimented Intak. He preened at the praise, even though the whole point was to help him alter it to meet the trainer's requirements.

“I would only change the part when the beat drops,” Shota concluded after rewinding the video a few times. “If he wants you to incorporate more fluid full-body movements instead of focusing on footwork, it should be enough. It's better as it is, though. He's stupid.”

“Well, he has issues with the intro, too,” Intak remarked, rolling his eyes, but glad to see his friend agree. He knew Shota would.

They continued discussing the specifics until Intak had a clear idea of how much he needed to adjust. Jiung, the saviour he was, changed the topic once Intak started nervously running fingers through his hair and bouncing his leg.

“Did you know Jongseob wants to adopt a cat?” Jiung brought up.

“Nope, I do know he loves cats, though,” Intak replied. It was impossible not to notice all the cat trinkets he always carried around.

“Yeah, well, actually Jongseob told me he always wanted a cat, but he’s worried that—”

“Here,” Taeyang interrupted them, setting down their plates, and then plopped into the chair next to Intak. “What are you talking about?”

“I was telling them about the cat,” Jiung grabbed chopsticks and gestured in Taeyang’s direction to continue.

Taeyang blinked.

“Hyung only got as far as telling us that Jongseob wants one but is also worried about something…?” Intak trailed off.

Taeyang nodded and continued the train of thought, “He never got one because there wasn’t anyone to take care of it when he travelled. I mean, when he’s not with his family, we usually travel together, so. But now that we have more friends in the city, there'll always be someone to feed the kitty. Keeho was especially excited.”

“Yeah, I can feed her, too. The meds help with the allergy a lot. I barely have any reaction now,” Jiung remarked excitedly.

Shota just shook his head, silently communicating his displeasure at how cursed they were with pet allergies. 

“I still can’t believe you work at the shelter anyway,” Intak added, finally picking up his chopsticks to try the delicious-looking food.

“I don’t handle cats, plus it’s not like you don’t pet dogs when you come across them,” Jiung said and rolled his eyes.

“Anyway,” Taeyang cut in. “We picked the best cat candidate and want it to be a surprise after the semester ends, so don’t blabber,” he said dryly, and Intak saw him eye the slice of meat on his plate. Before he could offer him a piece, Taeyang grabbed Intak’s chopsticks from his hand and stole one.

Intak mourned the single chairs, because none of him was pressed against Taeyang. The physical contact between them became so ingrained in Intak’s psyche that he was disappointed whenever they were more than a few centimetres apart. Especially when Taeyang seemed a little muted, a little down, which had become a familiar sight the past couple of weeks.

Intak swallowed tightly at the thought, but smiled at him anyway.

“Best cat candidate?” Intak turned his focus on Jiung and snorted, taking the chopsticks back. “Did you make a spreadsheet for all the cats?” Intak meant it mostly as a joke, but the sheepish expression on Jiung’s face wasn’t difficult to interpret.

They spent the rest of the lunch and Taeyang’s break—which he took when he brought them food—coming up with different names for all the animals at the shelter. To Shota, Taeyang’s suggestions were so bad that he looked genuinely offended on their behalf.

It was amusing and domestic, so ordinary—everything Intak loved.

 

—

 

Intak submitted his choreography demo—adjusted to meet the new requirements—and promptly forgot about it. He shifted his focus to his new volunteering job. Teaching 20 children every Thursday evening was certainly an experience, a positive one. It worked both as a distraction and an outlet, especially since the choreography was never set in stone and the kids kept coming up with creative, often funny ways to change it.

Intak invited Shota along once, and the children loved him. The class ended up being more about Shota showing off and the others trying to copy his moves than anything else, but Intak knew everyone had a good time. It also fueled Intak’s inspiration.

Unfortunately, winter had always brought flu waves, so when class got cancelled, Intak spent the evening in Jongseob’s apartment, working on lyrics together—or rather staring at his laptop with mere three lines written in the document. The small space left on the table was covered in papers and random sticky notes with doodles, because they kept getting distracted.

“Nothing on the site yet?” Jongseob asked.

“No. It’s okay, though.” Intak shrugged, tapping the space key out of boredom, creating even more empty lines. “How is your novel going?”

“I spent the whole last week reading instead of writing,” Jongseob sighed, leaning against the chair.

“So the same?” Intak smirked.

“Asshole.”

The sound of a key turning in the keyhole interrupted the calm atmosphere. Intak looked at Jongseob, who also seemed confused, staring at the door with a slight frown.

Taeyang barged in, loudly dropping his bag on the floor, before noticing them sitting at the table.

He looked at Intak and stilled.

“Intak-ah? What are you doing here?” Taeyang asked, tilting his head.

Taeyang’s face was wrinkled, a line forming between his eyebrows. He was biting his lip, and his hair fell around his face messily, as if he’d run his hand through it too many times.

“The dance lesson got cancelled because of the flu.”

“Oh.” Taeyang subtly shook his head.

“Hyung? Are you okay?” Jongseob asked with a worried expression at Taeyang's atypical behaviour.

“Yeah, I just…” Taeyang didn’t finish, just stood still.

“I can leave?” Intak tried.

“No, it's okay. I thought you weren’t hom— here, that's all." Taeyang ran a hand through his hair and walked past them toward Jongseob’s room.

Jongseob immediately got up and went after him.

Intak stayed seated, but itched to follow. The need for closeness nearly overwhelmed him.

He drew another five doodles before Jongseob came back.

“I’m going to the store,” Jongseob said, searching for his keys. “Taeyang is in my room.” He shot Intak a pointed look before snatching the keys from the counter and leaving.

Intak was at Jongseob’s door in a blink.

He knocked softly and received a groan—a yes.

Taeyang was lying on Jongseob’s bed, staring at the door Intak walked through, bundled up in a hoodie with the hood pulled over his head. There was enough space for a second person to fit beside him.

“Hey,” Intak mumbled, padding toward the bed.

Taeyang hummed, not breaking eye contact.

Intak carefully lay down face-to-face.

They stayed quiet, not touching each other.

Intak couldn't bear it.

He slowly moved his hand toward Taeyang's hair, peeking from the hood, and gently ran his fingers over the brown locks. He moved lower, cupping Taeyang’s cheek, thumb lightly brushing over the spot in small circles. He focused his eyes on the point of contact.

Taeyang let out a quiet, annoyed sound and swatted Intak’s hand away. Intak flinched, but before he could retreat, Taeyang pushed him over and rested his head on Intak's stomach, his body turned toward Intak and tugged down his hood.

“Okay?” Intak mumbled, his hand returning to Taeyang’s hair.

Taeyang closed his eyes, breathing in unevenly.

“I think I'm losing interest in something important to me,” Taeyang broke the silence with a whisper. “What else do I have left?”

Intak frowned slightly and waited for Taeyang to elaborate.

“Did you know I wanted to own an omakase restaurant at some point? It was something like an end goal for my old age. But I've been so annoyed at work lately… I have to be there all the time instead of… whatever. Before opening a restaurant, though, I'm in a band. Performing. Making the music I like. Maybe it's not for me.” He bit his lip.

“What do you mean?”

“It's not working out for me. Maybe, I don't deserve it,” Taeyang whispered so quietly that Intak barely heard it.

“That doesn't make any sense.”

“Intak-ah,” Taeyang groaned, shaking off Intak's hand.

“You deserve everything. You are too talented—too kind—for any of that to be true.” Intak shook his head, offended by Taeyang’s words on his behalf.

Taeyang looked away without a word.

“Yes, you. Someone with a good heart like yours.” Intak clicked his tongue. “Don't be an idiot.”

“Yah, you are starting to sound like me.”

“Taeyang... You have a kind heart. You care so much about people, it’s admirable.”

Taeyang made a face. It was a habit Intak noticed whenever Taeyang received a compliment about being kind, nice, sweet, any variation of that sentiment, really.

“You don't think it's true?” Intak tilted his head, trying to catch Taeyang's eyes. “You help all of us just by being here and being you. You care about the happiness of children you don't even know. You try your best in everything, so people see the best version of you. I'm thankful to you.” Intak swallowed harshly.

“Why would that be undeserving of happiness? Of success?” he added softly.

Taeyang was looking at him now, his hand twitching against Intak’s stomach.

“You keep saying things like that,” Taeyang murmured. “Telling me I’m sweet, that I'm kind.”

“Because it's true.”

Taeyang sat up slowly.

He moved closer to Intak, eyes tracing his face.

“You really think that,” Taeyang whispered, breathless. 

They were close enough for Intak to feel his breath.

His gaze dropped to Intak’s lips.

He leaned in.

Intak turned his head away, just slightly. 

The moment didn't feel right. 

“Taeyang,” Intak whispered with regret.

He was reminded of the night at the bar when a different vulnerable version of Taeyang had reached for something from him. Maybe he was being stupid and dramatic—insecure, no doubt—but he didn't want their first kiss to be like this. He couldn’t handle uncertainty.

“Oh.” Taeyang stilled and looked away. “Of course,” he exhaled sharply.

“It's not because—”

“I'm sorry,” Taeyang breathed out, expression closing off as he began to pull away.

Intak wouldn't let there be any misunderstanding.

He hurriedly cupped Taeyang’s cheek before he disappeared, hoping to catch his gaze, but unsuccessfully. “Kiss me another time,” Intak quickly said the first thing that came to mind. 

Taeyang's eyes drifted back up to meet his.

Intak waited with bated breath as Taeyang scanned his face, as he kept trying to read something in Intak's expression that wouldn't match his words, trying to unravel him and understand why Intak stopped him.

Taeyang's expression remained unreadable when he finally spoke up, “I know.”

“You know what?” Intak asked to be completely certain they were on the same page.

Taeyang pushed Intak’s hand off his face, gritting his teeth, as he reluctantly said, “It’s not enough. I'm not really… content? I told you before that you shouldn't waste your time with me.”

“What? I'm not wasting anything. I want you always. I just— you—” Intak shook his head as words failed him. Taeyang and ‘wasting time’ in the same sentence was ridiculous. “I like you, Taeyang. I like you so much. I want more, if you do too. It's just— you never initiated anything, only when you were feeling down—like the night at the bar or… now. I think you don’t believe me when I say I’m serious, that I want all of you, and…” He hesitated before whispering, “I want you to want all of me, too.”

Intak didn’t doubt Taeyang’s feelings for him. He knew Taeyang liked him—it was obvious. But he was uncertain if it was to the same extent, in the same all-encompassing way, and with a romantic interest.

Taeyang made a noise, staring past Intak, seemingly contemplating his confession. Based on his expression, Intak guessed this wasn't a big revelation, or even a small surprise. Intak was just voicing what was already there.

“I never wanted anything serious with you,” Taeyang admitted.

It wasn't easy to hear—it hurt—but it was another thing Intak had a hunch about.

“Not with anyone, really,” Taeyang continued carefully. “Not at first.”

Taeyang fell silent and locked their eyes.

Intak’s heart was racing. Anxiety, anticipation, and—tentatively—hope swirled in his stomach.

“But,” Taeyang continued, stressing the word, because he knew Intak inside-out, “Now, I do want to try, but… after. After I get my life where I want it.”

“Okay, I'll wait,” Intak said softly, and tucked a loose strand of hair behind Taeyang's ear, just as an excuse to touch him.

“I know,” Taeyang replied, and it looked like he barely suppressed an eye-roll.

A smile crossed Intak’s face.

That was much better.

Taeyang huffed and leaned down to hide in Intak’s neck. Intak automatically wrapped his arms around him, resting his head against Taeyang’s. He closed his eyes and tried his best to conceal the sigh of relief that action brought.

They were okay.

There were no more words spoken and no movement until Jongseob kicked them out of the bed.

Jongseob didn’t buy what Intak would call proper food—just snacks and sweets to make Taeyang feel better—so they still had to wait for takeout to arrive. The rest of the evening was spent on the couch, watching a horror movie Jongseob picked, with Taeyang lying with his head in Intak’s lap and his legs stretched over Jongseob’s.

The next morning, Taeyang made a new Instagram account and posted some of the photos they took on the first day Intak gifted him the film camera. The last slide was a solo photo of Intak near the Han River.

 

—

 

The school term came to an end, and Intak had an abundance of free time in February. Taeyang used his first full paycheck to resume guitar lessons. It wasn’t as expert a course as his previous one, but it was more affordable, which mattered, considering he refused to rely on anyone else’s money, and it took place over the weekend. Sometimes, Taeyang would video call him afterwards to continue playing, to sing, to show off. Intak would be walking around the apartment, reading messages, watching videos, doing anything, really, and Taeyang’s soft, melodic singing would accompany it.

The easy confidence in Taeyang's voice…

He sounded the happiest when singing.

Taeyang also reluctantly let Keeho advise him on social media trends. He listened, but Intak knew he was doing it so Keeho felt helpful, not because he cared. Still, Taeyang was having fun with the camera, bringing it everywhere with him and taking candid photos of all of them. Then, he would shove it into Intak’s, Keeho’s, or anyone’s hands to take photos of him. Everyone was happy to oblige. Taeyang had that effect on people.

 

—

 

As Jiung’s graduation neared, Taeyang had suggested writing a song for him as a surprise. It certainly was a process, because most of it had to be done through a separate group chat, but once they got started, the lyrics came to them swiftly—everyone was eager to participate.

On Saturday, when they all had free time, they planned to finish the melody, make a few final tweaks, and have Taeyang play it. Intak would have loved to join him on the drums—not only for this, just in general—but it wasn’t an option to do that at home, and he wasn't keen on improvising by drumming on random objects like Shota had suggested. When he complained to Taeyang, he got a “We can just do it next time, once you have a drum set,” in response.

Next time. 

The reality that Taeyang was a fixed presence in his life, and that he wasn't going anywhere, never failed to bring affection. Affection that was so deeply rooted by now, Intak couldn't imagine living without it. It only kept expanding, almost exponentially, and he was waiting for it to swallow him whole.

It became clear that none of them was great at being secretive. Since Jiung had been sleeping off the stress of the last few months, no one expected him to show up at their apartment in the middle of a rehearsal unannounced.

They all froze at the knock on the door.

They couldn’t leave Jiung outside for no reason.

“Jiung! What are you doing here?” Keeho let him in, nervously wriggling his fingers together.

Jiung paused, a soft smile on his face. He noticed them all huddled around Taeyang on the floor. It made for a strange sight, Intak was sure, but at least they managed to hide the music sheets.

Jiung's wide eyes seemed tired, like they had been the last time Intak saw him, back at the restaurant. With messy hair and casual clothes, he painted a perfect picture of a student about to graduate.

“Uh, what about you?” Jiung asked, his face scrunching slightly in confusion as he swept his gaze across them, meeting each pair of eyes.

They all remained suspended in time, uneasily exchanging their own glances, waiting for someone to take the lead, but no one knew what to say.

Jiung’s smile faltered, and Intak felt like the worst person in the world. They hadn’t seen Jiung in weeks because of his schedule, and now it seemed like they were excluding him. He was about to speak up—he didn't even know what—before Shota beat him to it.

“Taeyang-hyung is composing a song,” Shota piped up. All eyes turned to him. “He wanted help.”

“From all of you?” Jiung asked, trying to sound unaffected, but his shoulders sagged with the words. Intak heard the “but me?” clear as day.

“You both love rock,” Shota said, in the tone of voice that always made everyone nod in agreement, no matter how out of the pocket what he said was.

Intak was catching on, but Jiung still looked confused.

“I want another impartial opinion,” Taeyang said. “You can’t hear it before it’s done.”

“Oh.”

Intak wasn't sure how effective the excuse was, but Jiung seemed to relax a bit.

“Should I leave?” Jiung asked hesitantly, shifting on his feet.

“Are you hungry?” Keeho jumped in, reaching out toward Jiung, almost on instinct, before dropping his hand awkwardly.

“Keeho…” Jiung trailed off, a pitying look in his eyes as he glanced at Keeho's shifty hands.

Intak realised why neither of them mentioned their last misunderstanding, or whatever to call it, it wasn’t solved. His eyes flicked between them as he tried to remember the last time he'd seen them together, because the awkwardness emitting from them was apparent. Was the last time they hung out on New Year's? Intak guessed it was easier to pretend everything was normal when they had no time to see each other. He thought they were acting as usual, but he must have been wrong. Or maybe something else happened in between.

A heavy silence hung over the room.

“Late lunch?” Keeho tried to smile, but Intak could see through his tattered confidence.

Jiung sighed quietly.

“Okay,” Jiung mumbled.

As soon as the door closed and the tension left with them, Taeyang turned to him. “Intak-ah, I thought you’d talked to Keeho?”

“The last time he mentioned anything was during the movie night,” Intak replied, hands rising in defence at Taeyang’s sceptical expression.

Taeyang frowned, deep in thought. Looking at his face, Intak had a feeling that Keeho and Jiung weren't getting out of this easily.

“Let’s finish this before they come back,” Jongseob cut the silence, waving the papers around.

They rushed through it, a little distracted by what had transpired, but they managed to finish what they'd planned.

With the song done, they spent the next while, before Jiung and Keeho returned, engaged in idle conversation. It was mostly Jongseob talking about his recent project or Shota talking about anime. 

Taeyang was sitting next to Intak on the floor, leaning against the couch. They were squished together so close it made Intak let out a fond chuckle. Taeyang was staring blankly into space, listening to their chatter, while his fingers were absentmindedly brushing against Intak's arm.

It was a different kind of quiet. Taeyang's demeanour wasn't suppressed or melancholic, but rather calm and soothing. Intak was debating with himself whether he should take his hand and interlace their fingers together, like he'd longed for, when they heard the jingle of keys at the front door.

Jiung and Keeho were in a better mood upon return, easing the heavy weight in Intak’s chest. He made eye contact with Keeho and tilted his head in question. He received a relieved smile and a subtle nod, which Intak translated as ‘everything’s fine’. Intak would dig into him later.

Since they were all gathered in the apartment, they decided on an impromptu game night.

 

—

 

“I have an audition tomorrow,” Taeyang announced two days later, walking past Intak, who was holding the door open, as usual, only pausing long enough to kick his shoes off.

“Really?” Intak asked excitedly.

Taeyang nodded, making himself comfortable in his designated spot on the couch with a guitar in hand. Intak sat beside him, a grin on his face.

“I’ve had some before, but I don’t mention them unless they are interesting,” Taeyang replied. He seemed distracted, brow furrowing lightly as he strummed random chords on the guitar.

“What’s interesting about this one?” 

“It’s a rock band. Still a temporary spot, but at least for a year. They said they liked my ‘vibe’.”

“Your vibe?”

“Apparently, they looked through my Instagram,” Taeyang commented.

Taeyang had been posting on Instagram more consistently lately. It was mostly videos of him singing and playing the guitar, the typical Taeyang activities, but Intak encouraged him to post the camera photos too. He still worried about the aesthetics, saying he had no sense for it, but the camera effect made the feed look cohesive, in Intak's opinion.

Since Taeyang was putting the camera to good use, he also got tagged in everyone’s posts, which earned him a decent following. It wasn’t anything substantial, but enough to attract some attention. Intak liked to read through the comments praising his skills and looks, and some people were even knowledgeable enough to comment on the guitars he’d been using.

Taeyang deserved to have eyes admiring him at all times. Intak would know.

“That’s great! I’m glad it helped,” Intak said.

Taeyang hummed and fell silent, gaze fixed somewhere past Intak.

Intak watched him patiently, sensing there was something on his mind.

“There are a lot of photos of you,” Taeyang mumbled.

Intak’s chest tightened as his breath caught in his throat.

Taeyang put his guitar down and turned to him with a gentle expression and a tone to match, when he said, “Looking at them again… I couldn’t help but remember how content I felt.”

Intak swallowed with effort.

“How content I always feel with you.”

Taeyang’s eyes were boring into his.

“How content I feel right now,” he added quietly.

His eyes flicked to Intak’s lips.

Taeyang stayed still, his gaze reflecting the way Intak always looked at him—eyes full of affection and certainty.

Intak inhaled. His breath was shaky, and his hands restless.

Eyes never straying from Taeyang’s, he leaned in carefully and bit his tongue, so he wouldn’t ask something stupid like “Are you sure?”

With a final glance down, Intak brushed his lips against Taeyang’s—a barely there touch—just to see.

Taeyang still waited.

Intak’s skin prickled, and his body shook with a slight tremor when he closed his eyes and connected their lips properly.

As soon as he pressed against Taeyang, Intak felt it.

The overwhelming feeling that this was right.

Taeyang returned the kiss with finality, too. He rested his arms on Intak's shoulders, slowly sliding one hand to cradle the back of his head. Intak cupped his cheek, gently tucking his hair behind his ear. His other hand curled around Taeyang's waist, crumpling his shirt as his fist closed around the fabric.

Taeyang’s tongue swiped across Intak's bottom lip, then gently tugged on it. Intak opened his mouth, and Taeyang bit his lip teasingly. The sting sent a thrill down Intak’s limbs, and a breathy chuckle escaped Taeyang as he licked into Intak’s mouth.

Intak returned the kiss, eager but gentle.

He took note of everything—each stutter in Taeyang’s breath, every shift of his hands, every brush of his fingers against Intak’s skin. He never dared to imagine what this moment would feel like. He squeezed his eyes shut more firmly, the intensity of emotions growing beyond anything he’d felt before.

Taeyang’s grip on Intak's neck tightened as he pushed against him to deepen the kiss. Intak clutched at his back, both hands around his waist now, trying to bring him closer.

When it became too much, Intak pulled back slightly to catch his breath, panting from both the kiss and the needless nerves.

Taeyang leaned back further, clicking his tongue.

Intak opened his eyes.

Taeyang was watching him, eyes half-lidded, his heavy breath tickling Intak's face.

He dipped down and lightly bit Intak's cheek, only to immediately pull back again.

“Wha—” Intak blinked at him.

Taeyang smiled, a smug expression on his face, eyes crinkling at the corners. Intak had to take a deep breath, momentarily caught off guard by the sight of him.

It happened sometimes when Intak looked at him.

Taeyang sat back and casually picked up his guitar, as if his breath wasn’t laboured and his face wasn't flushed. “Want to hear my audition?”

“Uh.”

Taeyang glanced at him and began playing, pointedly ignoring the state he left Intak in.

 

—

 

The next evening, Intak was looking in the mirror, getting ready to go to the karaoke bar with everyone, where they planned to perform the flattering, slightly embarrassing song they’d composed for Jiung. The whole evening was planned to celebrate Jiung’s success, toast his promising future career, and just enjoy themselves.

He put on the perfume Jongseob bought him for Christmas before grabbing his jacket and finally making it out of his room. Keeho had confiscated his phone a good half an hour ago because he wouldn’t stop texting Taeyang, which made getting ready take much longer.

Taeyang had most likely just found himself a new band to perform with for the next year, so Intak was ecstatic, maybe a little over the top with compliments, but he couldn’t help it. He was so happy for him. It was just Taeyang and two other guys playing drums, bass, and guitar, with all vocals in Taeyang's hands. They had a couple of years of experience, with future gigs already planned, so it was basically perfect. Apparently, they were quite popular in Seoul, plus Keeho had already offered Taeyang that he'd promote them.

Taeyang promised to tell Intak about it later, when Jongseob wasn’t behind him, annoying him into getting ready.

Intak felt like a teenager secretly texting his crush, unable to tear away from his phone and waiting for every new message with bated breath. It was a little funny—Keeho would say ‘embarrassing’—that Intak felt this way after knowing Taeyang for five months, but their relationship progressed further only yesterday, so Intak felt justified. He doubted he would feel any different in a week, month, or even a year, though. Taeyang was Taeyang, and Intak would always be weak, somewhat obsessed, and extremely fond.

“How is everything with Jiung-hyung?” Intak asked, getting into Keeho's car after he reclaimed the rightful ownership of his phone, where two new messages from Taeyang awaited. He pouted after checking it was only a simple “see you later” message and a silly kissing emoticon. He dismissed all the other notifications with a slide of his thumb—he’d worry about those later.

“Well,” Keeho replied, elongating the syllable obnoxiously. “I actually wanted to talk to you about it. I might move back to Jiung's place.”

“What?” Intak turned to him in surprise.

Keeho's eyes were on the road, his index finger tapping the wheel rhythmically, and his expression difficult to read. “Yeah,” he said simply.

“Did anything…” Intak trailed off, looking for an explanation for the new development. He wouldn’t say it was unexpected—Keeho had joked about moving back with Jiung before—but it was still sudden.

Keeho chuckled, a touch sheepishly. “No. But we talked—I know, don’t look at me like that—and agreed we should try living together to see if it gets worse again… being around each other 24/7. Before we try anything else.”

“It won't,” Intak said firmly. They weren’t the same people he’d met a few years ago, and it was difficult to imagine that they would fall back into the old tracks even if they moved back together.

Keeho glanced at him, nodding, the same conviction Intak felt mirrored on his face. “I won't let it.”

“Wait,” Intak groaned. “I'll have to look for a new roommate.”

Keeho side-eyed him like Intak said something profoundly stupid. “What about Taeyang?”

Taeyang’s name immediately brought a smile to Intak's face. “What about him?”

Keeho shook his head in disbelief before rolling his eyes with a sigh. “ Just— Are you together now?”

Intak paused. “Maybe?” The moment the words left his mouth, he really did feel stupid, because even though they never explicitly labelled anything, Intak remembered the words Taeyang had said in Jongseob’s apartment.

“I do want to try.”

That implied commitment. Intak needed to repeat it to himself until it drowned out the insecure part of him, telling him it wasn’t permanent.

Keeho snorted.

When they got out of the car, Taeyang and Jongseob were waiting outside.

Taeyang was leaning against the wall, absently tracing the guitar strings, laughing at something Jongseob said. As they approached, Taeyang lifted his gaze, and their eyes met.

Intak would never grow tired of the feeling of Taeyang’s attention. Soft and intense—warm was another way to describe it.

“Taeyangie, are you and Intak dating?” Keeho greeted, overly happy, basically skipping toward them.

Intak's eyes widened.

What the fuck.

Taeyang made a face at Keeho. “Are you and Jiung?”

“Nope,” Keeho said, popping the p in exaggeration, completely unfazed.

Taeyang tilted his head and replied without skipping a beat, “Then catch up.” He blinked at Keeho before adding, “The others are inside.” He turned around swiftly and headed inside with a chuckling Jongseob following him.

Intak's step faltered in place before shaking his head and laughing to himself. What a Taeyang answer.

Keeho sighed and put his arm around Intak's shoulders, squishing their cheeks together. “Time to make Jiung thankful we are his friends.”

“More like regretful,” Intak snorted and swatted him away.

The inside was familiar—a place Keeho had introduced him to just a few weeks into their cohabitation. They walked through a narrow, dimly lit hall, passing by random neon signs planted over the dark walls, until they reached their booked room. It was fairly small for six people, but the two big black couches at least offered everyone a place to sit. Not that Shota took it, already sitting on the fluffy beige carpet, watching Jiung and Jongseob browsing through the song selection.

Jiung looked up as they walked in, lips curving into a smile.

Intak saw him look around and take them all in, take it all in, as if it only now dawned on him what they were celebrating, that they were all there for him.

Keeho immediately left him to greet Jiung. Intak had no time to pretend offence, because he was pulled down onto the couch by Taeyang.

“Hey,” Intak said softly with a small smile on his face, aware he sounded lovesick from that word alone. He leaned against the backrest, head tipped toward Taeyang.

“Hey,” Taeyang murmured in the same tone and leaned over to give him a brief kiss before resting against him.

Intak put his arm around Taeyang's shoulders, so they were almost cuddling and closed his eyes, letting the background noise—Keeho and Jiung arguing over which song to sing first—wash over him.

“We are, you know?” Taeyang said quietly as he linked their ankles together, as if it was unacceptable for a single part of their body not to intertwine.

Intak hummed in question, feeling a little lost by the incidental comment.

Taeyang started to fidget with his fingers before pausing to grab Intak’s hand, resuming the motion against his skin instead. It seemed to soothe him and give him courage to continue. “Dating. I know you want to hear it. So… we are dating.”

I love you.

The thought came forward so fiercely that Intak got lightheaded.

He inhaled, a little shakily, trying to quickly compose himself, worried Taeyang would see right through him.

He squeezed Taeyang’s hand and brought it to his lips, leaving a tender kiss on his knuckles, because otherwise he would say it, and neither of them was prepared for it tonight.

They stayed like that, watching the others.

Taeyang spoke up again when Keeho went to order their drinks.

“You haven’t checked your emails, have you?” Taeyang cleared his throat.

The nervousness was a stark contrast to their comfortable cuddling position. It made Intak pull back to see his face.

Taeyang had his deadpan expression on, but his ears were gaining colour—the flush he got when he was embarrassed or particularly shy.

“Not since the morning, why?” Intak asked in amusement. He went to retrieve his phone from his pocket, but Taeyang quickly grabbed his hand, fingers curling around his wrist.

“Not now!” he cried out, and Intak flinched in surprise.

Intak blinked.

Taeyang looked really sheepish, almost uncomfortable now, eyes darting between him and the floor, so Intak relented. “Okay, okay. I’ll check at home.”

Taeyang nodded rapidly and buried his flushed face in Intak’s neck, pulling a chuckle out of him.

Their moment got interrupted by Keeho’s return with a loud demand to get started already.

Intak mimicked Jiung’s earlier action, letting his gaze wander around the room, drinking in the atmosphere and the company. He took a deep breath, letting the feeling simmer.

Intak was content.

 

—

 

The first thing Intak did when he got home was check his emails. There were only two new ones, and Intak doubted Taeyang had told him to look at the sweatpants ad from a site he swore he’d unsubscribed from. The other email was automatically forwarded from Jongseob’s website with the subject line ‘asking for a collaboration’.

What?

He opened the email, which included a copy of a message sent to him a few hours earlier, before they left for the karaoke bar.

He frowned.

The message started as one would expect from a professional proposition—formal language, polite praise of his skill.

How would Taeyang even know…?

Oh.

Intak’s eyes widened as he continued reading.

 

“You’re the one who’s admirable, I thought that ever since…”

 

"I don't say it, but I think about you all the time.”

 

There was heat building behind his eyes as he stared at the words. He pressed his fist against his mouth, trying to regain his composure and steady his heartbeat.

 

“I've read everything—all your lyrics, and…”

 

“...so, Intak-ah, I was hoping you’d help me with a song.”

 

“This is so cheesy, I know, but I was too shy to ask.”

 

That effort was in vain once he reached the closing line.

 

“Love, Taeyang.”

Notes:

Thank you for reading!

I love it when Thetak are down bad for each other. I'm sure some of you noticed that I took inspiration from their episode of p-riends, cause that video is too much for my sanity.

Btw, I wasn’t planning to include this much Keeung, but somehow they slipped in.

This is significantly longer than anything I'd ever written (and probably will write), so I'm sorry about any grammar issues, yk the drill. I've procrastinated over this long enough already (the very first draft was finished over a month ago lol, but it was also like 15k).

Everyone, write more Thetak, pleaaase and thank you.

Comments are very welcome. Let me know anything you enjoyed tbh, I appreciate it! <3

Thank you, Naty, for the bit of beta reading at the beginning, and the advice, mwah.