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Namjoon wasn’t exactly a textbook alpha. Scratch that. One might say he wasn’t an alpha at all, yet, his ID clearly stated ‘male, alpha’. Born on September 12, 1994. Brown eyes. 181 cm tall.
With his hand Namjoon rubbed over his neatly shaved hair. In a recent episode of questioning himself he shaved it all off and dyed it blonde. His friend Hoseok told him it looks amazing, edgy, and bold. Namjoon regretted it almost immediately.
The shaved head didn’t make Namjoon’s non-existing confidence appear.
Hidden in the corner of a booth Namjoon watched Hoseok approach a group of three, one of them had caught Hoseok's eyes. Even though Hoseok wasn’t a textbook alpha either, he had the confidence of one. Approaching someone in a bar or a club was almost second nature to him, Namjoon would call him a fuckboy if he wasn’t so sweet with each of his lovers, always making sure they know he isn’t looking for a relationship.
Here and there Namjoon felt a pang of jealousy twist his stomach along with a wave of guilt and shame. How could he be jealous of one of his closest friends? Despite the reassurance of his therapist - It’s okay to feel that way, you acknowledge it and are mindful of it. It’s not about feeling jealous but what you do with that feeling. - Namjoon couldn’t shake the guilt.
He yearned for the confidence Hoseok wore.
Hoseok's contagious laughter traveled from the bar right to where Namjoon sat. He was leaning in, chatting up the three sitting at the bar, all eyes were on him. Namjoon understood them.
Hoseok wasn’t tall nor imposing, though Namjoon knew he could be intimidating if he wanted to be. Despite being blessed with the confidence of an alpha Hoseok wore it quietly, almost gently. His energy was inviting and genuine. His strength paired with his heart-shaped smile enraptured all subgenders.
Hoseok pointed in the direction of their booth and Namjoon felt his whole body clench up. Of course, his extroverted friend invited them to sit with the two. With a shaky breath Namjoon took hold of his whiskey and took a sip. The whiskey burned warm in his throat, calming him a slight bit.
“Ok, ok, Namjoon, you got this.” He whispered. Positive affirmations, his therapist had said, positive affirmations.
Out of the corner of his eyes Namjoon observed how the three followed Hoseok to their booth in the corner. The closer they came the more Namjoon realised how extremely gorgeous all of them looked.
Despite knowing he shouldn’t assume someone's subgender on their looks his immediate thought was ‘all three of them are omegas’. The one talking to Hoseok had plush full lips, curves to die for and the elegance of a ballet dancer.
The other two a step behind them moved with similar grace, but their build was sturdier. While one of them had sharp eyes, the others were wide, almost innocent looking. Namjoon tried to find his own fear in them, but the wide eyes didn’t indicate fear, no, the presumed omega looked curious.
Namjoon wasn’t too bad looking himself. Average height for an alpha and he was often told his dimpled smile was pretty. If there wasn’t something wrong with his subgender he might have been better at flirting, he wouldn’t be anxious about talking to omegas.
“Namjoon,” Hoseok gave him one of his disarming smiles, “Meet Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook.”
“Hi.” Namjoon’s voice came out squeakier than anticipated. “I’m Namjoon.”
His assumptions were immediately confirmed as the scent of different omegas, intermingled with each other, hit him. Overwhelmed by their pheromones, all Namjoon did was nod as the three greeted him.
Namjoon suppressed the urge to press his hand over his nose.
Hoseok slid into the booth opposite Namjoon, Jimin and Taehyung followed suit, leaving Jungkook the place next to Namjoon. Namjoon pretended not to notice the glances Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook exchanged. The two clearly checked in with Jungkook if he was comfortable sitting next to Namjoon.
Namjoon slid even closer to Hoseok, giving Jungkook more space than necessary.
The omega took the seat, like most he might assume Namjoon is a beta or a late presenter. His alpha pheromones were so subtle they might not even be there at all. It was a mystery to Namjoon how he had been assigned a subgender.
But apparently his scent was there.
Sadly no omega, beta or alpha could smell themself, Namjoon had to accept he would never know if he had been told the truth about his scent. It wasn’t like he did not trust the multiple doctor's assessment of his subgender, it was just difficult to accept that he was a defect alpha. A failure of an alpha, his pheromones so weak not even in his rut he was able to satisfy an omega.
A waste of a knot, his ex-boyfriend had once said to him.
Don’t get stuck in your insecurities, Namjoon reminded himself, trying to focus on the topic of conversation. Quickly Namjoon realised three extroverts were sitting in front of him, the words flowed between the trio.
Namjoon felt awkward, sitting in silence, wracking his brain on how to stir up a conversation with Jungkook, who Namjoon couldn't even glance at. Only centimeters between him and a gorgeous man, probably following the conversation happening on the other side of the booth.
The intermingling omegas scents still made Namjoon’s head spin. Hoseok pheromones had become stronger too, now that he held the interest of two omegas.
“Are you okay?”
A soft voice startled Namjoon, making him jump. He turned towards the omega beside him, faking a smile, he nodded and swallowed thickly.
“You sure?” A frown sat between those huge brown eyes, and Namjoon couldn’t help but notice, again, how beautifully the other was. The embodiment of androgynous prettiness attributed to male omegas. Soft dark curls framed his face, long lashes emphasized his big eyes, pink lips glistened, two silver lip piercings gleaming in the shine of the disco ball hanging in the middle of the room, and his skin was dewy.
Namjoon nodded again, not a word leaving his mouth. No one would believe him that he was known for his eloquence at work.
Namjoon, you got this, he repeated in his head.
However, instead of a full sentence only a weird sound left Namjoon’s mouth. Positive affirmations his ass, Namjoon hands still felt clammy, his heart beat too fast, the scents were clogging his nose. Since when was talking to omegas so difficult?
Your ex did a number one you, Hoseok would say.
Namjoon would disagree. He was over him. He knew Seungwoo was an asshole, always had been and Namjoon should have never fallen for him.
“I’m not good with scents.” Namjoon said, wetting his lips, giving Jungkook another smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
Jungkook smiled back. “To be honest, neither am I. Too many scents in a room stress me out.”
Namjoon’s eyebrows raised, he blinked, surprised. “Then why are you here?” He blurted out without thinking.
It was a reasonable question - since the bar was known for prohibiting wearing or taking scent suppressants - wasn't it for the fact that Namjoon had the same issues and was present as well.
“I could ask you the same.” A cheeky grin appeared on Jungkook’s face, his eyes twinkling in the dim club light.
Namjoon flushed.
“No,” Jungkook chuckled. “My friends dragged me here..” He nodded towards the two, hesitating before speaking he added, “I also prefer to know the subgender of others.” Jungkook’s eyes met his.
“Oh.” Namjoon knew this bar was especially sought out by people who wanted to meet and date others knowing their scent and subgender. Scent suppressants were only allowed for staff members.
It’s the reason why Hoseok had suggested this bar to him, when Namjoon had told him he wanted to date again.
You should try dating other subgenders, Hoseok had said, this way you will know exactly who you are with. A beta or alpha would do you good.
Namjoon had to admit, he always looked down upon people dating based on subgenders.
You only dated omegas your whole life. Hoseok’s voice rings in his head.
It wasn’t like Namjoon had known they were omegas when he met them. (Or had he? His subconsciousness questioned. Hadn’t he correctly guessed the subgender of the three people sitting with them based on their looks?)
Namjoon sighed, rubbing his temple. He knew Hoseok was just trying to help him out, in his own ways. Hoseok himself liked his partner, petite and curvy, often picking up omegas himself. At that moment he was stuck to Jimin, like the other had given Hoseok a love potion.
“Do you prefer not to?” Jungkook eyed him, his eyes curious.
“I..” Namjoon swallowed, he wasn’t so sure anymore. Once upon a time, he would have said, ‘Yes, I prefer not to know.’ “I don’t know.” He settled on.
Jungkook nodded. “It’s such a big part of us, to me it almost feels wrong to hide it.”
Namjoon frowned. Never had he heard such a take from an omega, weren’t prejudice against them lifted through hiding anyone's subgenders? If no one knew, discrimination couldn't arise at work.
Namjoon himself had no clue about the subgenders of his co-workers, his neighbors or the barista of the coffee shop he was a regular at.
“I can see your musing.” Jungkook laughed, clear and bright. “Ask away, I will answer honestly.”
Taken aback Namjoon took a sip of his whiskey. It was his third time at this bar, the first time he had only stayed for a bit to get a gist of how it felt to be in a room full of pheromones, the second time he spent a whole evening with Hoseok there.
“Isn’t it.. doesn’t it help against discrimination?”
Jungkook smiled, like he found Namjoon adorable, like he was a specimen he hadn’t seen often. “People assume either way, on the way you look, your name, your vibe.” Jungkook makes a hand gesture at Jimin. “How often do you think anyone thinks Jimin is an alpha?” Jungkook snorted. “Never, I tell you that much.”
Flustered, Namjoon rubbed his hand over his neck, feeling his ears and neck turn red. “Right.” Immediate shame flitted through him since he had done the same, assumed their subgender.
“A genderless name, a feminine figure, the way you walk and you have officially been sealed as an omega.” Jungkook slightly shook his head. “It’s more difficult to show how discrimination still exists since no one knows your subgender.” Jungkook used air quotes on the last part, his voice dripping with irony.
“That’s not right.” Namjoon said, clearing his throat. “Thats why you prefer to know?”
Jungkook shrugged. “It also helps with assessing who you should stay away from, especially as an omega.”
Namjoon nodded, unsure of what to say to that. He was no omega; he had no clue who an omega might want to stay away from or not. Wetting his lips he browsed through his mind to find a new topic of conversation.
“Your scent is mild for an alpha.” Jungkook said.
Namjoon’s whole body went rigid, his head whipping to the side to look at Jungkook, whose eyes widened in surprise at Namjoon’s reaction. “What?” Namjoon asked. His voice sounded almost breathless to his own ears.
“Sorry, I wasn’t–”
“What did you say?” Namjoon interrupted him. Did Jungkook say what he thought he did?
“Your scent, it’s mild.” Jungkook repeated, tilting his head.
“You can smell me?”
Puzzled Jungkook looked at him. “Yes? Of course, I can.”
“Oh.” Namjoon frowned. This was one of the wildest things anyone had ever said to him. Not even Hoseok could pick up his scent in a crowded room even if Namjoon stood right in front of him. “A lot of people can’t pick it up easily, you surprised me.”
Jungkook grinned, a dimple popped up on his cheek. Cute. “That’s a good thing, right?”
“Yeah.” It was definitely not a bad thing.
“You two.” Hoseok's voice ruptured their bubble, his gaze swept from Namjoon to Jungkook and back. “We are going to dance.”
“You wanna come?” Jimin asked, directed at Jungkook.
Jungkook shook his head. Again Namjoon pretended as if he didn’t notice the silent conversation through glances.
“I’m good here.” Jungkook said with a smile, obviously to reassure Jimin.
“Get us if you need us.” Jimin said, glancing one last time at Namjoon before the three left towards the small dance floor on the other side of the bar.
Jungkook watched them leave. Namjoon sipped on his whiskey.
“Is it better now?” Jungkook asked, turning back to Namjoon.
“What?” Namjoon spluttered, taken off guard.
“Less scents close by.” Jungkook said, giving Namjoon the hint of a smile. “I thought you might be less overwhelmed.”
A breath Namjoon didn’t know he had been holding left him. It was indeed better. Jungkook’s pheromones were not as intrusive now that the others were gone. Everyone else's scent was too far away to overwhelm him if he concentrated on Jungkook's.
Jungkook smelled delicious. Namjoon enjoyed the sweet scents of omegas, his ex-boyfriend had smelled like melted sugar when he was aroused. Jungkook’s pheromones were even sweeter as if his arousal would be able to turn them into caramel.
The thought immediately made Namjoon flush. He shouldn’t think that way about Jungkook. They just met.
“Do you not like to dance?” Jungkook asked, his eyes too kind making Namjoon flush an even deeper red knowing his lewd thoughts about the other.
“No?” Namjoon answered, perplexed by how Jungkook read him like a book.
“Your friend didn’t even ask if you wanna join.” Jungkook nodded toward the dance floor, his locks bouncing with the movement. Luscious dark hair reaching his shoulders.
Jungkook’s shoulders were broad for an omega.
“I’m not a good dancer.” Namjoon provided, internally scolding himself for, again, linking Jungkook’s appearance to his subgender.
Jungkook hummed. “You don’t have to be good to enjoy it.”
“Do you like to dance?” Namjoon asked back, eying Jungkook. The omega looked like he could dance, every move of his had strength and a purposefulness to it as if he knew how to move.
“Sometimes.” Jungkook answered, leaning back into the booth, yawning, his gaze sweeping through the bar.
Was Namjoon boring him? He probably was.
Since Jungkook preferred to know another's subgender, and went to the bar because of it, he probably came to seek out alphas.
Namjoon wasn’t an alpha. Not really.
He couldn’t fault Jungkook for seeking out his options. It was nice of him to keep Namjoon some company while his friends hooked up with Hoseok. This probably wasn’t how Jungkook had imagined his night to go.
A strong buff alpha was leaning against the bar, Namjoon could smell his pheromones even up in their booth if he concentrated on them. Sharp and bitter, clogging his nose.
“Damn,” Jungkook held a hand in front of his nose, “He is stinking up the whole place.”
Namjoon’s eyebrows shoot up. “What?”
Jungkook gestured at the buff alpha. “He needs to reel his pheromones in. Only because we can let them out here, it's not a free ticket to pump them out this much.” Jungkook wrinkled his nose. “Knothead is doing this on purpose.”
Namjoon stared at Jungkook like he grew a second head.
“Sorry,” Jungkook pulled on his earlobe, “didn’t mean to..” Jungkook puffed out a breath. “It’s frustrating sometimes to be an omega, I prefer to know other people's subgenders but I don’t want alpha pheromones coating me without my consent, you know?”
“Don’t most omegas like strong alpha pheromones?” Namjoon blurted out without thinking, his hands clammy around his whiskey glass.
Jungkook grimaced. “Do they?” He mused. “Certainly not in public. He should reel it in, nor you or your buddy alpha is pumping out this much pheromones.”
Namjoon tensed at the mentions of his pheromones. He knew everyone was able to control how much of their scent they let out freely. Of course, a little was always flowing out if scent suppressants weren’t used.
But no matter how hard Namjoon tried to pump out his pheromones he wasn't able to do so. He bet if it came to it Jungkook would prefer an alpha who could pump out pheromones even if he was a knothead.
His doctors came to the conclusion that most of his issues were psychosomatic since they couldn't find a medical solution.
Do you not identify with what you presented as? His therapist had once asked him.
The question had thrown Namjoon into a loop of endless thoughts for a while, questioning his identity. Did he want to be an omega? Lithe and sweet smelling? A beta, able to block out any scent?
No, he came to the conclusion that he had always known he would present as an alpha.
His issue was that he never really presented.
His scent almost disappeared with other alphas and omegas around, his rut and knot non-existing. Not once could Namjoon relate to the alpha traits others talked about. Never had Namjoon felt possessive over his partners, had not felt the need to mark them, growl or bury his teeth in their neck.
One doctor specializing in pheromones had made a profile about him; he had found no dominant alpha pheromones in his scent, saying his scent glands were recessive.
“You disagree?” Jungkook asked, his head propped up on his hands, his elbows on the table.
“No, I would rather not smell his scent this far away from him.” Namjoon admitted, eying the buff alpha from the distance. “I’m not often in a place where I can smell anyone, so.. I don’t think I’m used to..” Namjoon gestured around him, “this.”
Jungkook turned to him, his head still propped up, his locks falling to the side, his eyes sparkling. How gorgeous could someone be? Was he even real? Namjoon would love to see him in bright light to get a glimpse of every single one of Jungkook’s flaws to make sure the omega was not a fragment of his imagination.
In Namjoon’s head the pedestal he had put Jungkook on reached the sky.
“Me neither, but I’m glad I came today.” Jungkook said, intent written into his eyes. Namjoon’s heart sped up at hearing Jungkook’s words. Was he flirting with Namjoon?
“You are?” Namjoon croaked out, quickly taking a sip of his whiskey to soothe his throat.
“Yeah.” Jungkook grinned showing teeth, his eyes crinkling, making him look adorable. “You’re cute.”
Namjoon choked on his whiskey, coughing into his hand.
Jungkook giggled. “Has no one ever flirted with you?” He asked teasingly.
“I.. I don’t go out a lot.” Namjoon answered, swallowing, not able to look Jungkook in the eyes right now. He wasn’t used to an omega being so forward. Usually Namjoon approached someone to flirt with, at least he used to, before his last relationship went up in flames.
“I’m lucky then.” There was a cheeky tilt to Jungkook’s voice.
Namjoon flushed, pleased by Jungkook’s words but at the same time Namjoon knew he wasn’t what the omega was looking for. Jungkook hit on him thinking he was an alpha, which, well, he was an alpha, but not a functioning one.
Namjoon cleared his throat. “What do you want from me?” He glanced at Jungkook shortly, meeting his eyes for a second.
Jungkook must have seen something in his eyes, because concern flashed over his face. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”
Namjoon shook his head. “No, no.” Maybe it was the whiskey or that Jungkook was practically a stranger and he didn't have to worry about seeing him ever again or that he already knew Namjoon’s alpha scent was weird. “I’m.. if you’re looking for an alpha, I’m not the right one.” Namjoon’s eyes met Jungkook, speaking the truth suddenly gave him a confidence he didn’t think he had, “Sorry, to disappoint.”
Jungkook frowned. “Did I say I’m looking for an alpha?” He asked, an edge to his voice.
“No,” Namjoon spluttered, mortified by the implications, “not like that, since you prefer knowing subgenders. I didn’t wanna deceive you.”
Not disappoint an omega, like he had done too many times.
You lied to me. Sungwon had screamed at him. You said, you’re an alpha. A beta’s pheromones are stronger than yours.
“Your scent is one of an alpha.” Jungkook simply stated, a puzzled expression on his face. “Is this your way of politely turning me down?”
“No, no,” Namjoon answered hastily, rubbing his hand over his hair. Jungkook’s gaze followed his movement. “It’s that I’m.. my scent.. like you said..” Namjoon shrugged, eyeing his nearly empty whiskey glass, “it’s mild.. it’s not alpha-like.”
“I like your scent.” Jungkook stated, frowning. “It’s clearly one of an alpha?”
“It’s not only my scent.” Namjoon admitted, his voice quiet, his eyes scurrying over the people sitting close by, making sure no one overheard him.
“I think we’re misunderstanding each other. I usually prefer to know someone's scent, because I don’t want to date alphas.” Jungkook said, making Namjoon’s head spin.
“Oh.” Namjoon felt like an idiot.
“Yeah.”
“But you’re flirting with me?” Namjoon asked, confused, pointing at himself.
“I have a good feeling about you,” Jungkook grinned at him, “I usually trust my gut. Also it’s not as if I'm not attracted to alphas, it’s just that I've had some bad experiences.” Jungkook explained, leaning back into the booth. “Neither your friend nor you were aggressive or chauvinistic."
“Bad experiences?” Namjoon asked, Jungkook’s eyes were so dizzyingly honest he wanted to know it all.
“You know, the usual shitty alpha stuff, and a little bit more.”
“Were you harrassed?” Namjoon questioned. He had zero friends who were omegas, he could only guess what Jungkook meant with ‘the usual shitty alpha stuff, and a little bit more’.
One of Namjoon’s co-workers, he was friendly with, could be an omega, but Namjoon wouldn’t know that. He gave it his all to not even think about subgenders when he was at work.
Jungkook in this bar, stripped of scent suppressants, opened an alien world to Namjoon.
“You really want to know?” Jungkook eyed him, their eyes meeting in a silent exchange of trust.
Namjoon nodded.
“Harrasment isn't unusual, but what personally tipped me over the edge was an alpha ripping of the condom mid-sex and another once tried to pierce my skin.” Jungkook explained, his eyes getting a distant lock, the sparkle gone. “On my neck.”
Namjoon’s eyes widened in shock. “What the hell. That’s illegal.”
Jungkook snorted. “Doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.”
“Can’t you report them?” Namjoon questioned, mad at the thought of anyone treating Jungkook this way. Anyone treating another human being this way.
Jungkook sighed. “It’s my word against theirs, this usually goes nowhere.”
With anger swimming through his veins Namjoon asked: “Wouldn’t a rape-kit being done be proof?”
“Do you know how humiliating that is?” Jungkook's eyes met Namjoon’s, the fury in them taking Namjoon off guard. “Having a stranger examine you? Why do I need to go to such lengths just to prove I’ve been molested?”
Namjoon swallowed the words wanting to burst free. That's unfair, he wanted to say. Shouldn't you have tried, he wanted to ask, but who was he asking these questions?
Questioning Jungkook would make him no better than any other alpha who had crossed Jungkook’s boundaries.
Also, he knew exactly how he had felt telling his friends Hoseok and Yoongi about his last relationship. Vulnerable and exposed.
“Also he can still say it was consensual?” Jungkook said resigned, shrugging his shoulders. “Not like I had any defensive wounds.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t… imagine how that must have felt.” Namjoon said, watching water trickle down at the side of his whiskey glass.
“You don’t have to apologize for others' actions.”
Jungkook’s voice rang through Namjoon’s head. He doesn’t have to apologise? Namjoon felt like he should, for how he reacted, for letting his anger dictated his response.
“I’m sorry for how I’ve reacted to you telling me about this.” Namjoon continued, sinking back into the booth. “It’s not on you to report them, it’s just that… I felt angry for you.”
Jungkook smiled, not as bright as before but more genuine. “I would have, if it was easier to report shit like this.”
Namjoon nodded glancing at Jungkook, wondering how the omega remained so bright and glowing after such defeating experiences.
After Sungwon broke up with Namjoon it took him months to go out again. Do anything else but work. Date anyone without thinking they look down on him.
Not like Namjoon was comparing his experience with Sungwon to Jungkook’s, it was just the closest Namjoon could relate to feeling abused.
Yoongi had called Sungwon’s behavior ‘emotional abuse’.
When his friends had put his hurt into words Namjoon had felt seen. It gave him the confidence to bring up Sungwon’s behavior with his therapist, he was seeing because of his issues with his subgender.
“What are you thinking about?” Jungkook asked, startling Namjoon out of his thoughts. The omega gave him the hint of a smile, his head thrown back against the back of the booth.
Jungkook, who was so straightforward and sincere about his experiences, deserved Namjoon's honesty. Namjoon wanted to be brave like Jungkook.
“My last relationship.” Namjoon answered honestly, feeling his heartbeat throb in his ears.
Jungkook’s eyebrows rose high as if he hadn’t expected that answer. A silence stretched between them till Jungkook asked with his gentle voice: “Do you want to talk about it?”
Did he? Namjoon asked himself, eyeing Jungkook - the sharp jawline, those curious eyes and the mole under his pink lips. Not really, he would rather know what Jungkook was doing when he wasn’t here, what he liked to do in his free time and how he looked in the morning without any makeup.
“Not really,” Namjoon answered truthfully, “but..” he owed Jungkook some kind of explanation, “my ex had problems with my defect alpha.” Namjoon chuckled, to show he wasn’t taking it to his heart.
Jungkook didn’t laugh, he frowned at Namjoon, his lips pursed. “Did he call your alpha defect?”
Namjoon couldn’t hold Jungkook’s eyes, his gaze and hands wandered back to his whiskey glass. “He didn't have to. He is.” Namjoon took one last big gulp of his whiskey, emptying the glass.
Jungkook made a sound. “Why do you think that?”
“I don’t really wanna talk about it.” Namjoon admitted. He wasn’t as brave as Jungkook. In the end he was a fool. A fool who didn’t want this gorgeous omega to look down on him.
“Hmm, okay.” Jungkook agreed, not digging deeper.
Namjoon took the initiative to ask about Jungkook and blurted out the first thing coming to his mind. “Are you a dancer?”
Jungkook laughed, his endearing dimple showing itself again. “Where is that coming from? No.”
Namjoon flushed. “You look like one. They way you move.”
Jungkook grinned, all solemness gone. “Do I? Jimin does ballet, I usually go to the gym. Are you doing any sports?”
The conversation flowed between them like a river after the rain. Namjoon lost himself in Jungkook’s spark, in the way he moved his hands, his tattoos trailing up his arm, more hidden beneath a layer of clothes.
Taehyung disrupted their shared bubble with a few words. “Jungkook, I’m leaving, you wanna come with me? Jimin is leaving with Hobi.” His gaze wandered from Jungkook to Namjoon, not unaware that something was brewing between them.
“Oh, yeah, sure, I’m coming.” Jungkook said too casually for Namjoon’s liking.
Was he just going to leave? Namjoon couldn’t let that happen. Namjoon, of course, let it happen. Everything happened too fast. With a dry throat, no word able to leave his mouth Namjoon watched Jungkook stand up.
“They are still on the dance floor.” Taehyung said in Namjoon’s direction, pointing towards a pair embracing each other at the other side of the bar, moving to the music.
Namjoon’s whole focus was on Jungkook. Their eyes met, interlocking for a small eternity, none of them saying a word. This was the time where Namjoon should’ve said something like ‘I wanna see you again’ or ‘Can I have your number?’ But he didn’t because he wasn’t brave, just a fool of an alpha.
“Get home safe.” He said instead.
“You too.” Jungkook mumbled softly, making Namjoon’s heart flutter. “Bye.”
Namjoon watched Jungkook leave with Taehyung, their bodies disappearing through the front door. For a second Namjoon’s alpha came alive, but not enough for him to pinpoint his feelings.
With a sight Namjoon stood up, it was time for him to go home too. He would say bye to the lovebirds on the dance floor and hole himself up in his apartment, like he usually did on the weekends, read a good book and cuddle with his two cats.
Despite leaving Namjoon with nothing but the memories of himself Jungkook stayed in Namjoon’s mind for the coming weeks. Even while getting groceries after work, exhausted, just trying to find something to eat, his mind was occupied with none other than Jungkook.
His dark hair, eyes wide and attentive, but never intrusive. Words kind, never harsh.
I like your scent, he had said.
A scent who was barely there to begin with. Mild, Jungkook had called it.
Namjoon wondered what he had meant with it. Mild as in weak? Mellow? Faint? Light? Or soft? Gentle? Delicate? Presumably, Jungkook hadn’t thought much about it. Had, by chance, gotten a whiff of it, enough to identify his subgender.
Eyeing the instant meals in the freezer section Namjoon tripped over his own foot, his thoughts occupied with Jungkook, he hadn’t been paying attention to his surroundings. He staggered into a shelf and knocked into a stranger, who probably saved him from falling to the ground.
Most of his life Namjoon had been the clumsy one, always feeling out of place. His body was too huge for him to know what to do with all of his limbs, especially in a tiny supermarket.
Clumsy Namjoon, his friends teased him regularly about it.
“I’m so, so sorry.” Namjoon apologised immediately, by now used to humiliating himself in public due to his graceless nature. “Did I hurt you?” The other had easily cushioned his fall, but Namjoon couldn’t help but worry he had caused someone else other than himself trouble.
The eyes Namjoon met were familiar. Wide, sparkling and curious.
Had Namjoon conjured him into his orbit through thoughts alone? (Or was he finally going insane?)
“I’m good.” Jungkook said, his eyes crinkling in amusement. He had a scent suppressant patch on each side of his neck. He was wearing a black bucket hat, his hair spilling out under it. An oversized shirt, oversized jeans, big chunky sneakers, making Namjoon wonder how anyone could look this cute.
In the light of the supermarket Jungkook’s flaws were visible. A scar on his cheek, a pimple on his nose and a few moles littering his face.
Somehow it made everything worse, it made Jungkook real, and made it clear to Namjoon Jungkook existed. An omega who was unattainable to Namjoon, someone he couldn’t be with.
“Getting dinner?” Jungkook asked, the cheeky smile Namjoon remembered on his face.
Startled Namjoon looked into his basket, a sole tube of chocolate ice cream inside of it. Namjoon flushed. “Ah, no, no.” Namjoon shook his head vehemently. “That’s just…” He met Jungkook’s bright eyes, forgetting every thought he had ever formed, “dessert.”
“Want to grab a bite with me?” Jungkook asked, tilting his head, his gaze sweeping over Namjoon’s body.
“What?” Namjoon stood up straight. Jungkook couldn’t have said what Namjoon thought he did. In no universe, an omega like Jungkook would be interested in him.
“To be honest, I regretted not asking for your number.” Jungkook tucked on his earlobe, looking down, his eyes hidden behind the rim of his bucket hat. “I’ve been thinking about you.”
The memories of Jungkook’s gentle melodic voice were nothing compared to hearing him speak again.
“I.. Me too.” Namjoon stammered. Again, just like the night in the bar, the boldness of the omega took him off guard again.
Jungkook lit up. “Wanna go now? I know a great ramen place nearby.”
Namjoon nodded, looked down at his tube of ice cream and said, “I should put this back then.”
“Yeah, might melt, we can go back after having dinner to get dessert.”
Namjoon’s heartbeat sped up, the implications not lost on him. Did Jungkook know what he was doing to him? Namjoon wasn’t sure. Jungkook’s eyes wide, rather innocent than calculating.
“Sounds good.” Namjoon agreed, making Jungkook grin.
Normally, Namjoon wasn’t spontaneous, he liked to make plans, but for Jungkook, he could improvise. This omega clearly wanted him in some capacity, wanted to be friends with him, despite knowing he was a defect alpha.
Namjoon followed Jungkook’s lead, putting the ice cream back, leaving the grocery shop and walking with him around the corner into a small dimly lit street. Jungkook chatted about the ramen he enjoyed making at home - important ingredients: an egg, buldak sauce and perilla oil - and Namjoon listened.
At first glance, the ramen shop was tiny.
A small room behind a glass door, two tables, a counter cramped into the corner of the room and a set of stairs next to it. After greeting the men behind the counter Jungkook took Namjoon upstairs, where more tables were hidden away.
They took a seat at a table in the corner.
“Have you been here?” Jungkook asked, their eyes meeting over the table.
Namjoon shook his head. Self-conscious he toyed with the sleeve of his suit jacket. If he doesn’t get groceries he usually orders in. He doesn't go out a lot, and if he did it was for work, in fancy restaurants he picked.
“The ramen is so good.” Jungkook gushed, “Trust me, if you don’t know what to order I can help you choose.”
“What’s your favourite one? I will just order that.” Namjoon simply stated, eyeing the menu, not noticing how Jungkook’s smile widened a fraction.
“Tonkotsu ramen.” Jungkook's eyes never left Namjoon, whose gaze was still on the menu. “Do you live close by?”
Namjoon nodded, gazing out of the window. Only a few blocks away his two cats were waiting for him in his apartment. Luckily Namjoon had an automatic feeder and didn’t need to be home at a certain time.
“One of my friends lives here too, was visiting him.” Jungkook told him, “Wait, you know him actually, Taehyung?”
Namjoon nodded, he remembered Taehyung. Taehyung, the friend of Jungkook, who left with him. Intense eyes, a mop of brown curly hairs.
The waiter greeted them, taking their orders, Jungkook ordered two Tonkotsu ramen and an ice tea. Namjoon took a glass of water.
“I live with Jimin,” Jungkook continued, “do you have a roommate?”
“No.” Namjoon placed the menu aside. “I have two cats.”
“You do?” Jungkook smiled, all wide toothy and full of joy. “I love cats, I wanted one too, but Jimin is allergic. You have to show me pictures of yours, I have to visit you one day.”
Namjoon froze, his heart rate speeding up. An omega he met by chance for the second time in his life was asking to come over to see his cats? Namjoon couldn’t believe his ears.
“Sorry, am I asking too many questions?” Jungkook flashed him a grin, an uncertainty to it Namjoon wanted to wipe away. “I tend to get chatty when I’m a little nervous.”
Why would Jungkook be nervous? He was literally the perfect omega and Namjoon, well, he didn’t want to think about all of his flaws, right now.
”Why would you be nervous?” He questioned, trying to give Jungkook a reassuring smile.
“Look at you,” Jungkook gestured at the alpha. “All dressed up, makes me nervous.”
“Oh.” Namjoon looked down at himself, he was still wearing his suit from work. “It’s my work attire.”
“Suits you.” Jungkook mumbled, squinting at him. “Where’re you working?”
“For a camera company,” Namjoon said casually, not wanting to disclose too much about his work, not yet, at least, “and you?”
“I work in fashion.” Jungkook explained, his sneakers softly bumping into Namjoon’s dress shoes. “I can’t believe I haven’t asked you yet, but how old are you?”
“Um, thirty-five, and you?”
“Twenty-eight.”
At that very moment steaming bowls were set in front of them, smelling heavenly. Namjoon’s mouth watered. Noodles sat in a dark broth, a sliced egg, pak choi and slices of meat laid on top while green onions had been sprinkled above it.
“You look way younger.” Jungkook said as soon as the waiter was out of earshot.
Namjoon blushed, attributing it to the steaming ramen in front of him.
Jungkook was considerably younger than Namjoon, but somehow that didn’t bother him. It wasn’t like he had an actual chance at a relationship with Jungkook, once the omega finds out about all the ways Namjoon’s alpha was a failure he would be gone.
“The bucket hat suits you.” Namjoon mumbled to give Jungkook a compliment too. His gaze was set on the bowl in front of him, he was unable to meet Jungkook’s eyes.
It wasn’t like he didn’t mean it, but what if Jungkook ridiculed his words?
“Thank you.” Jungkook’s voice soft, his chopsticks tinkling as he ate his first bite of the ramen.
Namjoon hid his deepening blush by taking a bite too. The ramen melted in his mouth, the broth spicy on his tongue and the meat tender. He hummed satisfied, not even noticing the sounds spilling from his lips.
“It’s good, isn’t it?” Jungkook asked, giggling.
“It’s fantastic.” Namjoon agreed.
“They have a crazy good mango dessert too.” Jungkook told him in between bites. “Sadly they don’t deliver food, otherwise I would eat this nearly every day.”
Namjoon grunted in agreement, too focused on his food to worry about how he was behaving in front of Jungkook.
“I’m surprised you have never been to this place, since you live close by. Taehyung practically used to live off this ramen before he ate here drunk one time, and puked it all out.”
Namjoon nearly snorted into his ramen while listening to Jungkook’s anecdote.
“I work a lot.” Namjoon provided context, even though he knew he had the time to go out whenever he wanted to. The truth was simple: he was a couch potato, he loved reading on his couch while music played in the background and his cats were snoring next to him.
“You enjoy it?” Jungkook asked, tilting his head and toying with his lip piercings in a way that drove Namjoon nuts. How could anyone be this adorable and alluring at the same time, Namjoon asked himself for the nth time.
“Yeah.” He nodded, slowly chewing on the noodles. “I have a lot of responsibility which can be stressful, but I like the people I’m working with.”
“You lead your own team?” Jungkook guessed correctly.
“Yes,” Namjoon tried to steer the conversation away from him, “What are you doing in fashion? It’s a big industry.” As he said it out loud Namjoon realised Jungkook could literally be a famous model or do the lighting at photoshoots. The list of jobs in the industry was endless.
“I do social media for a brand.” Jungkook explained, putting his chopsticks into his empty bowl. “Studied fashion design though, working on my own brand at the side.”
Namjoon's eyebrows rose, impressed by the omega's ambitions. “What is it for? Your brand?”
“Secret.” Jungkook told him, cheekily sticking out his tongue.
Namjoon swallowed his last bite, trying hard not to choke on it. If he continued to hang out with Jungkook he might die due to being distracted by how gorgeous the omega was.
“Before we forget, we need to exchange numbers.” Jungkook interrupted Namjoon’s thought process.
Namjoon flushed, getting his phone out of his suit's inner pocket and handing it over to Jungkook. “Here you go.”
The omegas' fingers graced Namjoon’s as he took the phone out of his hand, leaving the skin tingling where they touched. Jungkook frowned rather cutely at his phone as he typed in his number.
“Call me.” Jungkook insisted, handing the phone back over. “So I have your number too.”
Namjoon did as he said, watching Jungkook’s phone ring as he pulled it out of his jeans pocket.
“Perfect.” Jungkook grinned, happily biting his lips. “Next time we should go somewhere you like to eat at. What do you think?”
“Oh, yeah, sure.” Could he admit he doesn’t go out at all except for work events? Or if Hoseok was dragging him out? Maybe Hoseok or Yoongi knew good food places? Namjoon was so out of the dating life he actually had no clue where to go.
“Still up for dessert?” Jungkook asked, tapping his stomach. “I have space left, I could grab an ice cream.”
“Sure.” Namjoon agreed.
“Okay, ramen is on me, you pay for the ice cream.”
Before Namjoon could disagree Jungkook stood up, giving him a cheeky grin, and headed for the counter downstairs, leaving Namjoon dumbfounded. He wasn’t used to being around assertive people.
At work he was the one leading, in his friendships they took care of each other quietly without grand gestures and in his past relationships he had tried to gauge what his partners had wanted.
His last ex demanded Namjoon to be more commanding, to decide for them, to know what Sungwon wanted without asking. How he would’ve been able to accomplish that was still a mystery to Namjoon.
With a light heart, because a gorgeous omega had just invited him to a meal, he followed Jungkook downstairs.
Fascinated, he watched the omega chitchat with what Namjoon assumed to be the owner of the ramen shop. The two were seemingly familiar with each other.
“Ready?” Jungkook asked, meeting Namjoon’s eyes.
“Ready.” Namjoon confirmed, stricken by Jungkook’s effortless charme. His sparkling eyes, the joy he radiated.
The two of them bid their goodbyes to the owner, Namjoon thanking him for the good meal. It’s a short walk back to the supermarket during which Jungkook questioned him about his ice cream taste, being affronted by Namjoon’s indifference to mint-chocolate ice cream.
While entering the supermarket they decided on eating ice cream out in the sun. Namjoon chose a chocolate popsicle for himself, and Jungkook followed suit.
Spring was approaching, and the sun was finally shining after a long winter full of snow and rain.
Namjoon barely paid anything for the two popsicles, leaving him to wonder how much Jungkook paid for the ramen. “The meal at our next meeting is on me.” He said as they left the supermarket, unpacking his chocolate ice cream.
“Won’t argue with that.” Jungkook said, keeping up with each of Namjoon’s steps. Their steps in sync as if they had walked a lifetime together, their bodies used to keeping up with each other.
Namjoon led them to a bench in a small park close by. Since his move a few years ago he had walked past this bench a thousand times. Whenever he went to get groceries at the supermarket nearby he walked through the park, never once had he sat there, but he had always wondered if he would one day.
Jungkook’s jeans cladded legs bumped into his as they sat down, their knees touching. None of them moved away.
If it were up to Namjoon he would move even closer to Jungkook. But, of course, he would never dare to do so. If they get closer Namjoon would eventually have to tell him how he wasn’t displaying typical alpha characteristics.
“It’s been a while since I sat in the sun.” Jungkook smiled, his teeth showing. “I’ve missed it.”
“Do you like Summer?”
Jungkook nodded, “But Spring is my favourite season.”
“Mine too.” Namjoon agreed.
He let himself fall into the moment, enjoying the sweet taste of chocolate on his tongue, the warmth of the sun and Jungkook’s legs brushing against his.
A few trees were already blooming green while others bore their bare skeleton, some of them carrying small tiny buds. Weren't it for the sound of cars driving in the background one could think they were in the countryside.
A squirrel scurried up a treetrunk, and three blackbirds fluttered through the leaves.
“Cute.” Jungkook commented, watching the squirrel.
“You’re cute.” Namjoon blurted out, blushing in embarrassment at his words.
Jungkook turned towards him. Even though half of his face was shadowed, his eyes sparkled in the sun. Glossy and full of life. His front teeth biting onto his pink shiny lips, suppressing the smile wanting to break free.
Chocolate was smudged in the left corner of his mouth.
“You got chocolate here.” Namjoon pointed at the corner of his own mouth to show where the chocolate sat.
Jungkook flicked his tongue to the right side. Namjoon watched him, perhaps a little too intensely.
“The other side.” He noted, his gaze set on the way Jungkook’s tongue swept across his lips. The two shiny silver rings at the side of Jungkook’s lips shifted with the movement of his tongue.
“Gone?”
“It’s still there.”
Jungkook groaned, his earnest eyes meeting Namjoon’s. “Can you..?”
Namjoon nodded hastily, pretending to be totally cool about it, ignoring the way he knew his cheeks were heating up. He wetted his thumb with spit and swiped it over the corner of Jungkook’s mouth, wiping the chocolate away.
The closeness to Jungkook’s face made Namjoon swallow thickly.
As Namjoon’s eyes met Jungkook’s sparkling gaze he didn’t dare to move away. For once, Namjoon was sure both of them had the same thought. His gaze wandered from those big brown eyes back to those shiny pink lips.
Ultimately, it was Jungkook again, who made the first move, the one who cupped Namjoon’s cheek and whispered: “I’ve been wanting to do this since I’ve met you.”
Namjoon blushed, his cheeks visibly reddening. Gathering all of his courage he said out loud what he was thinking. “Kiss me.” He urged, sliding closer to the omega and pressing his leg against the others.
Namjoon swiftly closed his eyes while embarrassment flooded him. How could he ask for something like this from an omega like Jungkook.
Jungkook’s lips brushed his, gentle and soft, his nose grazing Namjoon’s cheek and Namjoon forgot every thought he had ever formed. The chocolate popsicle was forgotten, slowly melting onto Namjoon’s hand, not that he would notice.
Jungkook’s palm was warm against Namjoon’s skin, fingers sinking into his short hair. A shudder went down Namjoon’s spine. His mouth opened slightly in shock as Jungkook’s lips moved against his.
Jungkook was kissing him, and Namjoon was on cloud nine.
The omega tasted like chocolate ice cream, sweet and delicious. When Jungkook deepened the kiss, Namjoon wondered if he was dreaming. Everything was too perfect to be real, yet too tangible to be an illusion.
This close to Jungkook Namjoon could smell his sweet pheromones trying to soak through the scent suppressants. Namjoon couldn't get enough of it, the urge to press his nose into his neck overcoming him. He slung an arm around Jungkook’s waist to bring him closer.
A tiny giggle slipped out of Jungkook’s mouth, their lips parting, Namjoon’s eyes fluttering open.
“I’ve never met an alpha as cute as you.” Jungkook mumbled, their faces close.
Namjoon smiled, pleased by the omega's words.
“I love your dimples.” Jungkook added, brushing his thumb across one.
“I love yours.” Namjoon replied, squeezing Jungkook’s waist and watching the single dimple appear as Jungkook grinned at him.
“Not many people notice I have one too.” He murmured in response, tracing Namjoon’s jaw with his thumb seemingly lost in thought, his eyes following the movement.
Namjoon swallowed, insecurities clawing at him. “I’m not good at.. all of this. It’s been a while since I’ve dated anyone.”
Jungkook’s eyes snapped back to meet his, his gaze soft. “We don’t need to rush, we have all the time in the world.”
“We do?” Namjoon laughed softly at Jungkook’s words, soothing the raging storm inside of him.
“Yeah, I won’t go anywhere.” He replied, “If that’s what got you all worried.” Jungkook stroked with his thumb over his forehead, smoothing the frown, that Namjoon didn’t realize he had been sporting.
Namjoon’s shoulders fall, a slow breath leaving him.
“I like you.” Jungkook added, tilting his head to the side, curious eyes studying Namjoon’s expression, leaving Namjoon stunned.
“You do?” Namjoon questioned, speechless except for those two words leaving his mouth.
Jungkook grinned, bright and sweet, like he hadn’t said a few words that shifted Namjoon’s world. “I know, we don’t know each other that well, yet, but, call it a flaw, I tend to follow my heart.” He chuckled. “I don’t usually overthink stuff, I trust my instincts, and my omega, who likes you a lot.”
A little flush appeared on Jungkook's cheeks, toying with his lips piercings he turned his head away from Namjoon. “So if you want me, let me take you out, let me show you how good you are.”
Brown wide eyes met Namjoon’s again, the hope in them was palpable.
Namjoon swallowed, his mouth dry, a gorgeous kind omega like Jungkook wanted him. Him, Namjoon. “I.. would.. I mean, I’m.. Yes.”
Jungkook’s smile was dazzling, making Namjoon’s stomach flutter with excitement.
“Can I walk you home?” He asked.
Even if he wanted to, which he didn’t, he wouldn’t say no to those eyes. Namjoon nodded, this late in the evening the sun was slowly but surely disappearing behind buildings to free the sky for the moon.
After throwing the rest of their ice creams into the trash can, and Namjoon cleaning his hand with a tissue, they walked in the direction of Namjoon’s flat. Their steps slowly, steady, in rhythm, hands brushing each other, making Namjoon’s heart flutter.
Jungkook told him about a campaign he is managing right now, about a designer Namjoon has never heard of, the omegas passion and love for his work showed through every word he used.
Namjoon loved asking him follow-up questions, seeing Jungkook’s eyes shine in delight.
Stopping in front of Namjoon’s apartment, the alpha felt like a teenager with a crush again. His palms sweaty, his heartbeat in his throat.
Jungkook smiled at him delicately, stepping closer, and Namjoon’s eyes closed on instinct. Their lips met in a short kiss that felt like a promise for more to come.
“I will call you,” Jungkook said.
Namjoon would prefer Jungkook texting him, but the thought of hearing Jungkook’s voice made him change his mind. The thought of hearing the gentle, soft voice of Jungkook murmuring sweet words to Namjoon through his phone made him blush.
“Bye.” Namjoon murmured, before opening his front door and stepping into his building, holding eye contact with Jungkook for as long as possible.
“See you.” Jungkook’s smile reached his eyes, the image imprinted in Namjoon’s mind, leaving him giddy whenever he thought of Jungkook. This was really happening, wasn’t it? Namjoon couldn’t believe his luck.
“I’ve met someone.” Namjoon blurted out as soon as he sat down in the cushioned chair in front of his therapist Dr. Cho. “An omega.”
Despite seeing Dr. Cho regularly Namjoon hadn’t yet told her about Jungkook. The thing between them had been too fragile to mention. He wasn't sure if Jungkook took their dates as seriously as Namjoon did, if it was as significant to him as it was to Namjoon.
Dr. Cho smiled encouragingly at him. “You did?”
“I’ve gone out with him a few times so far.” Namjoon said, wringing his hands. “He.. flirted with me, we met at a bar, by chance again at a supermarket, went out for ramen and have been on a few dates since.”
“What is he like?” Dr. Cho asked, scribbling something down on her notepad.
Namjoon always wondered what she noted down about him. “Jungkook... He has really wide brown eyes. If I didn’t know better I would think he is perfect.” Namjoon chuckled. “He is kind, bold, confident and charismatic."
“You’ve been on a few dates?”
Namjoon nodded. “I don’t actually know how many but we’ve been dating for roughly three months, I think.”
Dr. Cho hummed, meeting his eyes. “You think?”
“We met again by chance.” Namjoon shrugged. “I wasn’t sure if he was actually interested in me… I’m still not sure, to be honest.” Despite Jungkook saying he liked him, Namjoon knew better than to assume he would stay, since Jungkook still doesn't know about the extent of his alpha problems.
“What makes you think that?”
Namjoon blew his cheeks, of course, they ended up where they always did. “I told him a little bit about me… what’s wrong with me.”
“There is nothing wrong with you, Namjoon,” Dr. Cho said, “there is no right or wrong way to be an alpha.”
It wasn’t the first time Dr. Cho had told him those words, she knew exactly where his issues were. “I mean.. I told him about my problems.” Namjoon's cheeks reddened. “Not in detail, but he knows I’m not like the usual alpha.”
“Do you think that’s important to him? That subgenders are important to him?”
Namjoon nodded. “He said so himself.”
“Do you know why?”
Namjoon sighed, scratching his neck. “He usually doesn’t date alphas.”
Dr. Cho’s eyebrows rose. “If he doesn’t seek out alphas would he care about you not being like, as you say, a usual alpha?”
Namjoon remained silent. In Dr. Cho’s questions laid a truth Namjoon wasn’t willing to admit to himself. “He hasn’t met anyone like me, he wouldn’t know any better.”
“What do you mean?” Dr. Cho asked, crossing her legs.
“He doesn’t date alphas because he had some bad experiences,” Namjoon explained, fiddling with his fingers, “I think..” Namjoon wetted his lips, “I guess, he feels somewhat.. safe with me? But that doesn’t mean he won’t be disappointed by my lack of scent, for example.”
“It’s okay to disappoint others.”
Namjoon nodded slowly, chewing on his lower lip. “It would really suck if he stops seeing me because of it.” Namjoon’s heart hurt at the mere thought of Jungkook leaving him. “I’m not sure I would be able to cope with it.”
“You’re strong, Namjoon, you will be able to cope with it.”
Namjoon swallowed heavily, a sudden sadness rising inside of him. Would he be able to cope? “When Sungwon…” Namjoon swallowed, “left me I felt like I was falling apart.”
“And yet, you’re here.” Dr. Cho stated simply.
Namjoon knew she was right, he survived Sungwon, who treated him horribly, he would survive Jungkook not wanting to see him anymore. He would, but it would break his heart. Break another piece inside of Namjoon, a part of him that was still hoping to find a fulfilling relationship.
If his friend Yoongi, being his usual self, knew about his thoughts he would mutter ‘there is more to life than a romantic relationship.’ Namjoon would agree, yet yearn for exactly that.
“At what bar did you get to know each other?” Dr. Cho asked.
Namjoon stared at his hand in his laps. “One of those free scent bars.” He mumbled, a little embarrassed about visiting one. “Also why I think scents and subgenders are important to him.”
“Have you thought about talking with him about this?”
Namjoon sucked in his cheeks, taking a deep breath. Of course, he had thought about it, but doing it was a whole different thing. “Yeah, but it’s not easy. I’m scared to tell him about my issues and.. my insecurities, I guess?” Namjoon bit his lip.
“We can practice the conversation you want to have with him, if that helps you. What would you want to tell him?”
“My issues,” Namjoon said “my pheromones not being strong, not being able to properly help him through his heat, there would always have to be an artificial or a scent of another alpha present for him to calm down..” Namjoon grimaced, the thought of another alpha scent, even a fake one, sticking to Jungkook made his stomach turn.
Dr. Cho hummed.
“Since I’m not able to knot, I can’t even..” Namjoon sighed, massaging his neck right above his scent gland.
“Given that you told me he doesn’t usually date alphas, don’t you think he might not be bothered by that?”
Namjoon sighed, rubbing his temple, and shrugged. He wasn’t sure how Jungkook would react. “I don’t know. I fear I’m making it harder for myself than it actually is, knowing Jungkook…” Namjoon pictured Jungkook’s wide warm eyes, the playful twinkle he got when teasing Namjoon, his words, which always left Namjoon stunned. Not once did Jungkook say anything remotely insensitive to Namjoon.
“Yes?” Dr. Cho asked to dig deeper.
“He would be extremely kind about it.”
“You deserve that, Namjoon, someone who is kind to you.”
Namjoon nodded, not meeting Dr. Cho’s eyes. “That doesn’t mean he wouldn’t leave me.” Also, no one really deserved someone as perfect as Jungkook.
“No.” Dr. Cho agreed, “but would you want to be with him then?”
No, Namjoon’s mind provided an immediate answer, he wouldn’t want to be with him if Jungkook was bothered by his issues to the degree of wanting to leave him. Yet, he could understand if Jungkook chooses to leave him. “No.”
Dr. Cho nodded, “Where do you think your fear of talking to him comes from?”
Namjoon swallowed. That he knew too well. “I fear he would react like Sungwon, even though I know he never would, my body... kinda reacts like he would.” Memories of how Sungwon treated him floated back into his mind, his disgust, his anger and his demands.
His grimace of anger. The day he threw his handbag at Namjoon, which left a pretty big bruise on his arm.
“What happens to your body?”
Namjoon cleared his throat. “I freeze, even when I only think about telling Jungkook, and I can’t help thinking ‘what if he leaves me’, makes my head spin and I almost feel panic starting to appear.”
Dr. Cho hummed. “You could tell him this too. About Sungwon, and how your body remembers a situation you're no longer in. He might understand better than you think.”
Namjoon’s eyes widened. He hadn’t thought about that, about telling Jungkook how difficult it is for him to open up. How he feels like he is suffocating by adhering to an alpha stereotype, he doesn’t even understand in the first place.
“He might.” Namjoon agreed, thinking back to the day they met for the first time, about Jungkook’s honesty. “He had some bad experiences too.”
“Did he tell you about it?”
Namjoon nodded. “Not in detail, but he said, he had been molested by alphas before.”
Dr. Cho wrote something down in her notebook while asking: “Did you relate to his experiences?”
“No.” Namjoon shook his head. “Very different to mine, but..” He hesitated, “Maybe I did, a bit, but I felt like I shouldn’t.”
“Why do you think that?”
“His experience sounded worse.” Namjoon bit his lips, the anger he felt about what Jungkook went through was still present. Irritation bubbling up inside of him, who could do something like that to Jungkook? Kind, bold, smart Jungkook.
“Everything is as bad as it feels to you, there is no need to compare your experiences.”
Namjoon nodded slowly, his last relationship, his issues with being an alpha, all of them defined him and the person he is, he really needed to tell Jungkook about them, no matter how he felt about it. “I think.. I can do it.”
“Talk to him?” Dr. Cho questioned.
Namjoon met her eyes, “Yes, I think I can tell him about my issues.”
“I’m certain you can.” Dr. Cho agreed.
The little bit that was left of their session Namjoon spent brainstorming with her what exactly he wanted to say and how. What would help him, how he would feel safe doing so, and how he could react if Jungkook does react badly (which Namjoon doesn’t think he would, but the what if’s never left him alone).
He left therapy with a newfound assurance.
Sooner or later Namjoon would tell Jungkook what occupied his mind and made him scared of losing him. The reason he was shrinking away from some of Jungkook’s advances, from his wandering hands, his almost intimidating confidence and honesty.
Also, he realized he was all in, giving this blooming relationship his everything, he wanted Jungkook.
One might say, he was in love. Namjoon wouldn’t be able to own up to it, not yet, maybe after his next therapy session in a few weeks.
Namjoon smiled to himself as he cycled back to his apartment, a gentle breeze in his hair, the birds chirping, welcoming spring, and the crocus greeting the sun with their purple and white flower pads.
Spring really was his favourite season.
Namjoon could spend a lifetime watching Jungkook.
With ease Jungkook moved through the kitchen, dicing onions with a grace Namjoon wasn’t even able to produce doing any task, let alone cooking. His tattoos fully visible, dark locks pinned back with tiny starshaped hairclips, wide eyes focused on each movement of his.
“Did you have a good day at work?” Jungkook asked without looking up from the onions.
“It was okay,” Namjoon provided, “How about yours?”
While listening to Jungkook talk, about a new client he was working with, Namjoon stared without shame.
Jungkook’s oversized black shirt looked cozy on him, so much so that Namjoon couldn’t wait to cuddle up with him on the couch. To slip his head in between Jungkook’s shoulders to breathe in the omega’s pheromones, to get a little floaty on them and let Jungkook rub his scent all over him till he smelled as sweet as the omega did.
Jungkook’s pleasing pheromones drifted freely through the whole apartment.
The omegas scent glands were out in the open, fine barely visible lines on his neck, Namjoon wanted to trace with his fingers, if Jungkook let him. The thought alone sent shivers through Namjoon’s body. How would it feel if Jungkook touched his glands?
Since Namjoon came straight from work his glands were still covered with scent patches.
“Wanna try?” Jungkook held a piece of marinated tofu in front of his mouth, and Namjoon took it without a second thought, humming in satisfaction at the flavourful taste.
“Delicious.” He commented.
Jungkook grinned at him, warm and big, his dimple showing.
It wasn’t the first time Namjoon was at Jungkook’s. He had been there a few times already, had dinner with Jungkook and Jimin once, watched a movie snuggling on the couch with Jungkook, and had Jungkook cook for him more than once. Namjoon adored Jungkook’s cooking, home cooked meals were something he hadn’t had for half of an eternity.
Whenever Jungkook invited him to a homecooked meal Namjoon went all out to provide something to their meals too, getting the best desserts he could think of. Given that he wasn’t a great cook, the least he could do was buy some of the greatest desserts he knew off.
This time he went right to the fancy restaurant close to his workplace, which made the best tiramisu he ever had and got two servings for them.
“Jimin is at Hoseok’s again.” Jungkook commented, not facing Namjoon, fiddling with a pan on the stove.
“Oh.” Namjoon hadn’t talked to Hoseok about that yet - will he ever? - but he had observed in silence how Hoseok strewed from his one-night-stands-ways to chase after Jimin.
Jungkook turned around, catching Namjoon’s eyes, wiggling his eyebrows at him he said: “We got the whole apartment for ourselves.”
Namjoon instantly turned red, the implications not lost on him. Even after months with Jungkook Namjoon was still getting flustered around the other. How could anyone so adorable yet so extremely charming and alluring exist?
“Is Yoongi with your cats?” Jungkook asked, stirring the pan.
“Yeah.” Namjoon bit his lip. Though he has been at Jungkook’s a few times already, it was the first time he stayed over, would share a bed with Jungkook, and had brought an overnight bag with him.
“Did he send pics already?”
“Of course.” Namjoon grinned, getting his phone out to show Jungkook the pictures Yoongi had sent. One of Yoongi sitting in the kitchen with bom, a small tuxedo cat, curled up on his lap, her head pressed against Yoongi’s hand petting her. The other one showed his fully black cat called nal sitting in front of the window staring outside, watching birds.
Jungkook cooed at each picture. “Hope he sends more later on, it’s been too long since I’ve seen them.”
Namjoon laughed. “You saw them two days ago.”
“Exactly, it’s been way too long.” Jungkook pouted, turning back to the stove.
Laughing Namjoon shook his head in amusement, putting his phone away, Jungkook’s cuteness making him blush. Jungkook adored his cats as much as Namjoon adored Jungkook.
Only a few weeks ago Namjoon had come to the eye-opening realisation that he adored Jungkook in a startling way, one might call love.
His small epiphany had made it more difficult for Namjoon to talk with Jungkook about his issues, suddenly his heart was on the line. An entangled mess of feelings was Namjoon’s emotional state whenever he thought about himself and his problems.
Despite that, whenever he was with Jungkook he felt calmness wash over him.
Jungkook had enough optimism and laidbackness for the both of them, and weren’t it for Namjoon’s anxiety he would’ve told him already.
But the what if’s were eating him alive.
“You good?”
Namjoon looked up to Jungkook blinking at him, setting a steaming bowl of fried rice with vegetables on the table in front of him.
Namjoon nodded hastily. “Just lost in thoughts. Thank you so much, it looks delicious.”
“Is it work?” Jungkook ran a hand through Namjoon’s hair, which had outgrown a lot, a frown between his eyes. Jungkook was too observant, something Namjoon loved about him, yet, he never let him get away with vague answers, unless Namjoon didn’t budge.
Namjoon shook his head. “Not important right now.” He said, before digging into his meal.
Jungkook let it go, squeezing his shoulders before taking a seat next to him, digging into his own food. To steer the conversation away from his overthinking, Namjoon asked about Jungkook’s project.
With a smile back on his face Jungkook told him about finally settling on a logo for the brand he wanted to launch, showing Namjoon pictures of an intricate elegant design of his initials in different colour schemes.
Admiration bloomed in Namjoon for Jungkook’s passion and ambitions.
Not too long ago he had offered his help with the finance part of Jungkook’s side project since he worked as a chief financial officer. Jungkook had declined with a smile on his face, and thanked him for the offer.
It had thrown Namjoon completely off guard, he had stammered about not meaning to give him money but looking over his finances.
‘I taught myself. If I have a question I will ask you.’ Jungkook had said, giving him a firm kiss right after. ‘You got already enough on your shoulders, Joonie.’
Namjoon had nearly cried. Why, he doesn’t know.
“Tiramisu?” Namjoon asked, as soon as Jungkook’s bowl was empty.
Jungkook nodded, his eyes crinkled, the joy he had for food always visible. Namjoon loved surprising him with desserts. “Always have room for dessert, you know that.”
“I know.” Namjoon got up, getting the tiramisu out of the fridge and two spoons for them to eat straight out of the packaging. “Brought the best tiramisu I ever had.”
Jungkook giggled. “You told me that already.”
“Did I?” Smiling Namjoon opened the packaging, the heavenly smell of coffee and cocoa greeting him.
“Yeah, I think you mentioned it quite a few times over text." Jungkook grinned, taking a whiff of the tiramisu. “Smells delicious.”
Namjoon pushed the tiramisu right in front of Jungkook for him to take the first bite, and watched with satisfaction as the omega took his first bite, a frown appearing between his eyebrows as he chewed.
As observing Jungkook was one of Namjoon’s favourite ways to pass time he knew the frown meant the food was excellent.
“Good?”
“Delicious.” Jungkook murmured in between bites, focused on the dessert.
Pleased Namjoon also took a bite, relishing in the taste of mascarpone, biscuits, cocoa, espresso and amaretto. The two of them relished in the taste, enjoying their dessert without talking much.
With Jungkook Namjoon loved to share a space in silence.
“Should we relocate to the couch?” Jungkook asked after finishing his portion of the tiramisu.
“Yeah.” Namjoon agreed, licking his spoon clean. The part of the evening Namjoon was looking forward to. Cuddling with Jungkook on the couch.
Jungkook threw himself on the couch, snuggling into a blanket and making grabby hands at Namjoon. Namjoon joined him, letting himself be dragged into Jungkook’s arms and inhaling his pheromones.
Jungkook’s hair tickling his nape, his warm hands on Namjoon’s hips, his legs nearly completely draped over Namjoon’s, and Jungkook’s head on Namjoon’s chest. Namjoon was sure Jungkook could hear how fast his heart was beating by having Jungkook so close to himself.
A deep breath left Jungkook, and words left his mouth Namjoon wasn’t prepared to hear. “I need to tell you something, which I think is important.”
“Yeah-h?” Namjoon’s voice cracked embarrassingly, his heart speeding up faster than Namjoon would’ve deemed possible.
Jungkook took one of Namjoon’s hands in his, playing with his fingers. “It’s nothing bad, I hope.” The omega did not meet his eye, but snuggled deeper into Namjoon’s chest as if looking for comfort. Namjoon placed one hand on the back of his nape to soothe him.
“Before we..” Jungkook pulled on his earlobe, “I have to be honest with you..”
Namjoon frowned. “You can tell me anything.”
“I know.” Jungkook grinned, gazing up at him. Their eyes met, Namjoon saw the vulnerability written into them. “I don’t feel comfortable bottoming anymore. I know, for lots of alphas it’s a dealbreaker.” Jungkook grimaced. “If I feel comfortable we could maybe try again in the future.” Jungkook’s gaze was set on Namjoon’s hand. “But I can’t promise you that."
Air Namjoon hadn’t known he was holding rushed out of him in relief. For a few blinks of an eye he had thought this was it, Jungkook was going to break up with him before they ever really became a thing.
“That’s fine.” Namjoon said, too relieved by the conversation topic he doesn’t even blush. “I’ve never.. But I mean, we can try it out.”
Jungkook whipped his head back up, staring at Namjoon with wide eyes, pupils blown. “You would want that?”
Frowning Namjoon looked at their interlaced hands, wasn’t Jungkook asking him if he could be the one bottoming? “Aren’t you asking me if I could?”
Jungkook blinked at him. “I didn’t think you would want to try. I just wanted to make sure you know what you’re signing up for if you want to be with me. That we can’t have penetrative sex.”
Namjoon’s frown deepened. “But we can, I don’t mind trying to bottom.” The conversation topic slowly caught up with Namjoon making him flush. Shyly he gazed at Jungkook, who beamed at him, his eyes twinkling.
“Are you sure?” Jungkook questioned, studying Namjoon.
“Yeah.” Somehow, Namjoon had to admit to himself, the thought relieved him, he didn’t need to top. Jungkook didn’t want him too. He might not care that Namjoon never formed a proper knot. Maybe Namjoon didn’t even need to be the one leading all the time. He couldn’t disappoint Jungkook by not popping a knot.
The relief floating through him actually made tears spring into his eyes.
“Namjoon.” Jungkook’ smile dropped, his face one of concern.
“It’s okay.” Namjoon sniffled.
“No, please, tell me.” Jungkook frowned, “We can’t go on if I feel like something is bothering you, or you have an emotional reaction to this, and I don’t know why. This concerns us both and, of course, if you’re not ready yet, we don’t have to talk about it right now.”
Namjoon gulped, staring at the couch cushions. “My..” Namjoon sighed, “this sounds so dumb even in my thoughts, ahh.” Namjoon shook his head.
“It’s okay.” Jungkook reassured him, squeezing his hand. “I bet it isn’t dumb.”
“I can’t form a knot.” Namjoon blurted out rushed, his ears hot. “I was scared of disappointing you and I'm so relieved you don’t even want that.”
“Oh, Namjoon.” Jungkook’s arms slung around him, warm and firm. “I do not care, Namjoon, I don’t usually date alphas, what made you think I needed a knot?”
Which... True, Namjoon hadn't thought about that - well, he had, but he couldn’t believe Jungkook wouldn’t want one after all -. Running in his mind were the words of others, especially Sungwon’s words.
No omega would want you. Namjoon’s ears rang, he swallowed and bit his lip. “My ex used to say mean stuff about that, and I didn’t like it at all. This sounds so dumb, I should be strong and–”
“Namjoon.” Jungkook interrupted him. “That’s not okay that he did that.” Soothing him Jungkook brushed his hand through Namjoon’s hair. “This doesn’t sound dumb at all.”
Namjoon sniffled. “Also, my scent, like you said, it’s really mild, not.. I guess, not alpha like.” Without much thought Namjoon ripped the scent patches of his glands.
“I like your scent.” Jungkook murmured, his hand trailing from his hair to his scent glands, lightly tracing his glands. “When I said it’s mild, I meant that as a compliment. My nose is kinda sensitive.”
Namjoon sniffled, trying to swallow the tears wanting to break free. He needed to be strong, Jungkook should be able to lean on him. “Thank you,” He murmured, “I wouldn’t be able to calm you down during your heat, my pheromones aren’t really there.”
A soft kiss was pressed against his cheek. “That’s okay, I mostly use scentless pheromones diffuser.”
Namjoon sank into the couch, leaning his forehead onto Jungkook’s shoulder. “Is there something like this? Scentless?”
“Yeah. I use them because of my sensitive nose.”
“Oh.”
Jungkook hummed, caressing Namjoon’s scent glands, making Namjoon shiver in comfort.
“I’m sorry, my ex did a number on me, I’m..” Namjoon said, a tear slipping out of his eyes. “I’m going to therapy.”
“Wanna tell me about it?”
Namjoon shrugged. “There isn’t much to say, we fought a lot because he wasn’t satisfied with me.. More so my alpha traits, I guess.”
Jungkook squeezed him. “You know, I do not care about that, right? I like you, and you being an alpha is just part of the package.”
Namjoon pressed his eyes close, trying to get rid of the tears. “I’m not really an alpha.”
Jungkook’s arms remained around him, his caress never stopped. “What do you mean? You don’t feel like an alpha?”
“I want to be an alpha, but I’ve never felt like one. My missing alpha traits, my missing scent, I’ve never felt like alphas describe how it feels to be an alpha.” Namjoon explained, his silent tear wetting Jungkook's shirt.
Jungkook’s comforting scent blooms around him, warm and delicate, embracing him. “I’m sorry, you’re going through that, I wish I could help you.”
Namjoon smiled. “You being with me already helps me so much.”
Jungkook nosed at his glands, the few pheromones Namjoon does have intermingle with Jungkook’s. “If you really wanna try bottoming, you know, it helps if your alpha isn’t as dominant.” Jungkook spoke softly, almost hesitantly, as if he wasn’t sure if this was the right thing to say.
To Namjoon it was exactly the right thing to say. “You think so?” He whispered back, tightening his grip on Jungkook.
“I know so.” Jungkook answered, his boldness back after being encouraged by Namjoon. “You’re such a gentle alpha, an alpha who would let an omega like me take what it wants, you know it needs a real alpha to show this much trust in their omega?”
Namjoon swallowed, his ears burning hot. His omega. He lifts his head, slowly blinking at Jungkook, who is looking at him with so much tenderness. “Are you my omega?”
“All yours, alpha.” Jungkook said, tilting his head to the side, not letting Namjoon’s gaze go. “You’re my good alpha, aren’t you?”
“Yeah.” Namjoon hummed, smiling, letting his head fall back into the croak of Jungkook’s neck, nosing at his scent glands. “Yours.”
“Scent me.” Jungkook ordered gently, his hand back in Namjoon’s hair.
Namjoon’s lips met Jungkook’s gland and he pressed open mouthed kisses onto it as he breathed in his pheromones. His head light, Jungkook’s skin so, so soft, Jungkook’s pheromones sinking into him. Bliss was starting to make him feel strangely placid, a feeling so new to Namjoon it made his head spin.
“My alpha.” Jungkook said, his hands wandering under Namjoon’s shirt. “Is that okay?”
“More than okay.” Namjoon murmured, now that all words that needed to be said were said, there was nothing Namjoon needed to hide. Somehow, this felt right. Jungkook's touch grounding him, leading him.
“Wanna touch you everywhere.” Jungkook mumbled, his breath hot against Namjoon’s skin. “Wanna open you up using my slick, would you want that?”
Namjoon swallowed, the thought alone made him dizzy and lust pool in his abdomen, his grip on Jungkook tightened. How was only the thought of Jungkook doing things to him turning him on so much?
“Talk to me,” Jungkook continued, his fingers moving over Namjoon’s skin leaving a trail of goosebumps, “And don’t push yourself for my sake, we can stop any time.”
“That’s not it.” Namjoon answered, his voice quiet. “I’m surprised by.. how much I want you.”
A startled laugh left Jungkook’s mouth, and a heavy exhale followed right after. “Don’t say stuff like this to me, I might go insane.” He said, a teasing lilt to his voice as he pulled Namjoon up by his hair.
Namjoon followed willingly.
Jungkook’s gaze was set on Namjoon’s lips, out of habit Namjoon wetted them, his eyes dropping to Jungkook’s pierced slightly parted lips. With intent Jungkook slotted their lips together, holding Namjoon in place.
Jungkook set the pace, their kiss wet and messy in a way it had never been before. The desire between them was palpable. Jungkook’s hand settled onto Namjoon’s neck as he took everything Namjoon had to offer, guiding Namjoon down to settle onto his lap, Jungkook’s mouth never leaving his.
The world narrowed down to Jungkook’s hands on his body.
Jungkook pulled Namjoon’s shirt off him, his trousers and boxers following, and Namjoon let him. Let him take whatever he wanted, for once Namjoon didn't have to think, only feel, feel Jungkook trace his stomach with his fingers, feel his lip brush against his nipples, suck onto his scent glands till Namjoon began to think he might have actually started to leak more than the usual small amount of pheromones into the air.
The air in the room was thick, full of alpha and omega pheromones.
Neither of them was holding back, the heat between them sizzling. Watching Jungkook take his clothes off was an experience Namjoon wanted to have an endless amount of times. Jungkook was pretty. Pretty everywhere. Muscular, lean and sharp.
His thighs glistening from the slick running down his legs.
Namjoon couldn’t take his eyes off Jungkook as his omega gathered slick on his hand to stretch him out. Instinctively Namjoon opened his legs for Jungkook, who kneeled down between them.
Jungkook’s eyes met Namjoon’s as he pushed a finger inside of him, Namjoon straightened instinctively. Alpha instincts flickering up inside of him till Jungkook took a hold of his cock and they faded out like they never existed in the first place, pleasure taking over him.
Jungkook’s wide expressive eyes took Namjoon in as if he was assessing him. “How are you feeling?” He asked, his voice a little hoarse, sounding exactly like Namjoon felt.
“Good.”
“Yeah? You like this?” Jungkook asked, his gaze intense, as he added a second finger using his own slick to make Namjoon wet, to stretch him out and make him ready to take his cock.
Jungkook’s soft, gentle question paired with the way he made Namjoon feel was almost too much for him. Even fingers deep into an alpha Jungkook didn’t lose his quiet confidence and gentleness.
“Yeah,” Namjoon breathed out, closing his eyes, every touch of Jungkook’s too good to be true. “You’re driving me crazy.”
“In a good way?” Jungkook asked, touching a spot inside of Namjoon that made him moan out loud. Jungkook giggled, light and soft. “I take that as a yes.”
Namjoon simply moaned in response, leaning into Jungkook’s touch. Why had he never done this before? Probably because he couldn’t imagine doing this with any omega other than Jungkook. His mind had gone strangely blank, thoughts slipping away, all his attention set on Jungkook.
A third finger, and Namjoon felt the pressure, a sting, but the pleasure running through him at Jungkook running his hand along his cock made it more than bearable.
Jungkook’s thick scent filled Namjoon’s lungs, waking up something almost instinctive within him. Breathing it in he felt his alpha fully submit to the omega sitting between his legs, a willing surrender that felt less like losing control and more like putting it exactly where it belonged. For the first time Namjoon didn’t feel the pressure to lead or any expectation for him to stay in control, no, he could fully let go.
“I’m ready, please.” Namjoon slurred.
He didn’t even register Jungkook’s laugh as pleasure rolled through him with the way Jungkook fingered him open.
“You look so pretty like this.” Jungkook murmured, his hands ruminating over Namjoon’s torso, leaving sticky paths on his body. “You feel ready? You still want me to fuck you? Hmm?”
“Yeah.” Namjoon murmured, his gaze half-lidded as he watched Jungkook palm his own cock before rolling a condom on and adjusting himself to fill Namjoon up. His long dark locks sticking to his skin, sweat glistening on his sternum, and his breath no longer as controlled as it was before.
“So honoured you letting me fuck you.” Jungkook murmured, his eyes set on his cock pressing against Namjoon’s rim. Namjoon felt the pressure but he was too blissful to be bothered by it.
Instead of pain he felt pleasure at Jungkook stretching him out and filling him up. There was something striking about seeing Jungkook fuck him, seeing Jungkook’s pleasure first hand.
“You’re so pretty.” Namjoon slurred, grabbing onto a couch cushion, his abdomen contracting at the pleasure building up.
Jungkook kissed him as he fucked into him, spreading Namjoon’s legs even further. The kiss said more than any words could’ve, fierce and yet gentle Jungkook took him apart till Namjoon moaned his name as he came. Jungkook spilling in the condom not long after, a warm tingly feeling staying with Namjoon as Jungkook pulled his cock out of him.
Jungkook almost collapsed onto Namjoon, nuzzling into Namjoon's neck, leaving his pheromones everywhere, cum and slick sticking them together.
“You smell like me.” Jungkook said hoarsely, a smile evident in his voice.
Namjoon kissed the crown of Jungkook’s head, and slung his arms around his omega, holding him tight. They stayed in their post orgasm haze for a second, before Jungkook straightened himself up with a groan. “We should shower, Jimin will kill for making love with you on the couch.” Mirthful eyes met Namjoon’s who couldn’t help but laugh.
“You liked it.” Jungkook said, grinning down on him. It wasn’t a question.
“I liked it.” Namjoon confirmed.
Jungkook tried to cover his smirk, by toying with his piercings. “Yeah?”
“Don’t make it a big deal.” Namjoon said, lightly pinching Jungkook.
“I’m not.” Jungkook paused. “Just happy.” He smiled, his eyes sparkling, his smile wide.
Namjoon’s pulse picked up at seeing Jungkook's open, warm happiness, it suited him. Never had he ever felt this assured while being with someone. Jungkook didn’t keep him on his toes, no, the omega led the way like he was used to calling the shots.
Namjoon loved it.