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“I owe you everything… Ah, Scully, you owe me nothing.”
His words always get to her. He’s always honest with her- that’s a big part of why she follows him, why she loves him- but he rarely talks to her like this. Bluntly, freely. He rarely tells her what he’s feeling.
So when he does, it’s impossible to resist him. She can see it in his face, that he’s telling the truth: his jaw is tight, his eyes glassy with tears. And she gets so lost in those eyes that she barely notices how close he’s getting to her.
Their faces are millimeters apart now. God, their mouths are.
Her breath catches in her throat. For a moment, she’s afraid. What is he doing? Is he really willing to risk everything like this?
Then comes the disbelief. She must be mistaken. There is no way that he could want this, no way that he could actually be doing what she thinks he’s doing. There must be another explanation.
But there’s little time for thinking as his lips brushes hers.
And, defeated, she gives in.
He kisses her hungrily at first, with a passion that nearly sweeps her off her feet. She didn’t expect it to be this forceful, and a wave of heat rises up in her chest.
She can feel her cheeks burning, as his thumbs softly brush over them, in juxtaposition with the force with which he’s kissing her.
His fingers find her crimson hair, and tangle with it, as Scully holds onto the back of his neck, having been too astonished to move up until now.
But after briefly breaking the kiss to gasp for air, his hands move to her waist, grasping it forcefully, and her grip tightens on his neck in surprise.
Without letting go of her, Mulder begins walking backwards towards his apartment’s door, and, as she always does, she follows him.
Reaching blindly with one arm, he shuts the door behind them after entering the apartment.
It’s in that moment, hearing the slam of the door, that Scully begins to come to her senses.
”Mulder,” she breathes, as she breaks apart from him. “Mulder, we can’t…”
She realizes, distantly, how weak her protest sounds. How pathetic.
”Scully,” he pleads, without letting go of her waist, burying his fingertips deeper in her flesh instead.
But she shakes her head- a small movement, yet unmistakable. Her breathing is still short.
”Scully…” he tries, but he realizes that it will not be enough to convince her. This is how she is, after all: analytical. A scientist. It’s not speculation that she wants- she wants facts.
And, he realizes, he can give her that.
”Scully, I love you.”
For a moment, she holds her breath. Did she hear him right? She lowers her eyes to the floor, feeling suddenly ashamed for doubting him.
She should have known he would not jeopardize their relationship, the one they’ve grown and cherished over the course of nearly five years, just to have fun.
She should have known if he’s going to do this, it has to mean something.
So she slowly looks back up at him, trying her best to hide how shy and unsure she’s feeling now.
She wants to be bold.
As Mulder looks down at her, he’s unbearably sure he’s lost her. He said the wrong thing, too soon. She wasn’t ready. Maybe she will never be.
He begins to feel uncomfortable with his hands still on her dainty waist, but for some reason, he doesn’t feel able to let go just yet.
Not until she speaks.
But she doesn’t. Instead, she reaches up to him, and kisses him again.
It’s softer this time, more tentative- it’s care, not just desire.
Soon, though, the kiss deepens.
His hands are large and warm and feel like they’re everywhere- from her hair to her waist to her ass- and all she can do is hold him tight, as though afraid that without his mouth on hers, she will not be able to breathe.
With his help, she drops her suit jacket to the floor, as he guides her to his bedroom.
At the risk of seeming needy, she feels his chest and abs with her hands, running them all over his body.
She reaches beneath the hem of his t-shirt, briefly brushing against his burning hot skin before pulling it over his head.
It’s not like she hasn’t seen him shirtless before, but it’s different like this. It’s different when he’s looking at her so intensely that she feels her insides burning before his gaze.
Cupping her face with one hand to kiss her again, he searches for her collar button with the other, deftly undoing it. He then lets go of her face to move on to the others.
As soon as he reveals her skin, he immediately covers it back up with his hand, gently palming her over her simple skin tone underwear.
Though he’s too worked up to think properly, somewhere in the back of his mind he acknowledges that he’s never felt anything so soft.
His kisses move to her jaw and then down to her neck, just above where his hand is, and she lets out a soft, sweet sigh.
As soon as it reaches his ears, he knows he needs to hear more.
He grabs her full ass, more roughly than he intended, but she doesn’t seem to mind. Instead, she reaches down to undo his belt buckle and then his zipper, and he’s ashamed at how hard he already is in her hand when she cups him.
He delicately grabs her wrist and lowers her onto the bed, and then himself on top of her, leaning on his elbow so that he doesn’t crush her with his weight.
Placing his hand firmly on her hip, he presses himself to her stomach. Her mouth opens, and even if no sound comes out, the pleading look in her his tells him everything he needs to know.
With a trail of kisses he traces her skin from her neck to her breasts, unclasping her bra and taking his time to wet her nipple with his tongue and then softly blowing cold air over it, making it harden and her shiver.
He then proceeds down to her flat stomach, focusing on the lower part of it, just above the hem of her pants.
After finally unbuttoning them too, he pulls them down, to reveal simple cotton underwear.
Teasing her with a finger over it, he clearly feels the damp spot. He knows she must have realized, because she lets out a little sound that’s between an embarrassed laugh and a moan.
When he’s had enough of just making her shiver, he unceremoniously pulls down her panties, and she helps him kick them off when they’re tangled around her ankles.
At that, Mulder grabs her ankle with one hand, and kisses it. This time, he works his way up her left leg, kissing her smooth calf and her inner thigh until he reaches her core.
Before doing anything else, he looks up at her, wanting to make sure she’s okay. Meeting his gaze, she gives a tiny nod.
With a thrill running up his spine, he lowers his mouth on her.
Scully gasps. The sensation is so far away in her past that it’s almost forgotten, almost foreign. Although, she thinks, she doubts it has ever felt quite like this.
Mulder is skillful as he gently teases at her entrance with his tongue, drawing it up almost to her rosebud but then retreating just before she can really feel him.
It drives her crazy.
But then, when the tip of his tongue finally touches her most sensitive spot, she lets out a loud moan before she can even think of holding it back.
When he hears it, Mulder’s fingers tighten on her ass. He drives his tongue against her clit again and again, earning, no, stealing pleasured moans and whimpers from her.
The only word she can think of is cruel. He knows it’s too much for her, he must know, but he doesn’t relent, and the sounds she makes feel as though they’re being ripped from her mouth.
The sensation is so strong it almost hurts. And yet, it feels so fucking good.
Her orgasm is sudden, unforeseen, but powerful. She arches her back, pressing herself against his mouth as he braces her, and she realizes it’s the first time she’s ever been this spontaneous with a man, let alone one she was with for the first time.
She wants to rock his world, to make him feel better than any other woman ever has, not to make a fool of herself.
But she doesn’t know what her openness does to him.
Quickly removing his jeans and boxers, he climbs on top of her. He doesn’t think he’s ever been so hard in his entire life.
He kisses her fervently, wanting her to feel herself on his mouth, and she kisses him back with equal ardor, stroking him as she does so.
Her touch is light as a feather, and he can’t resist thrusting lightly in her hand. When he does, her caress gets slightly more powerful.
”Are you sure, Scully?” He asks nervously.
When all she does is kiss him again, he guides himself to her entrance.
His first thought is that she’s tight. He’s well endowed, and as his head slowly enters her he can feel her clenching around him already.
But his sensation takes over the worry of her discomfort, and with one thrust, he buries himself within her.
Instinctively, she digs her nails in the skin of his back.
She can’t deny she was a little bit afraid when she saw him, when she first held him in her hand. But she didn’t think it would hurt this much.
Mulder, however, takes her gesture as encouragement and he doesn’t grant her even one moment to adjust before thrusting again.
It’s not that he’s not aware of their sheer difference in size. He is. But right now, her vulnerability only serves to turn him on.
She holds on tightly to him as he takes his pleasure with brutish force. She buries her face in the crook of his neck.
She clenches around him with every shockwave of pain, which only serves to make her tighter for him to force his way between her tights.
But with every stroke, he rubs once again against the most sensitive part of her, making torturous pleasure build within her.
She tilts her head back into the pillow when he groans after a particularly hard thrust, and he takes the opportunity to cover the skin of her neck in burning kisses.
Almost against her own will, she moans at his attention.
She shouldn’t like this. She wants to tell him to slow down, that he’s overwhelming her, that the pain and the pleasure and the heat are just too much, but she can’t find it in her to do so.
And so she surrenders, letting him take her as he pleases, as hard as he needs.
Mulder wants to take it easier on her. This is not the way it’s supposed to be, not on their first time.
He’s supposed to worship her, to fill her with his love. Instead, he’s hurting her. At this point, there’s no way that he’s not.
But Scully is fire, and he finds he can’t gain control of himself back if he tries to, so he just drives himself deeper into her.
He feels his balls tighten, and his orgasm rising up. But he doesn’t want to come just yet, not before her.
He needs her to come.
He angles himself so that his shaft can better stroke Scully’s clit as he moves in and out of her, which almost immediately earns him another desperate sound from her lips.
Grabbing her head by the hair, he kisses her again, and she chokes out a muffled moan against his mouth.
She feels herself getting closer, and his plump lips on hers do it. Lifting her legs, she wraps them around him, pulling him as deep as possible, even though it hurts so bad.
Her blue eyes roll back into her head.
That mere sight is enough that Mulder can’t hold back anymore himself.
”Scully, I’m about to…” he tries to warn her, but she only tightens the grip of her legs around him.
He wants to tell her that he needs to pull out, but he can’t form the words. He comes with a fist in her hair, spurting deep within her, and she feels the warmth of his cum inside of her.
Slowly, she lowers her legs back to the bed. He stays inside her for a while longer as he softens, and he's mindlessly kissing her jaw when he feels something wet hitting his cheek.
Looking up at her, he realizes that she’s crying.
”Scully?” He calls her, a gutting sense of dread already forming in his chest. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
She blinks at him, confused, her eyes glassy. She doesn’t know she’s crying, he realizes.
So he strokes the tears away from her face with his thumb, as gently as he can manage.
”Everything okay?” He asks.
She nods and places another soft kiss on his lips.
Sliding out of her, he rolls over to his back and holds her against him. Scully contentedly rests her head on his shoulder and nestles against his strong body, one hand on his chest, the other tucked under her own chin.
As he looks at her, he’s mesmerized. He’s always thought she was beautiful, but right now she looks simply otherworldly. There are no words to describe her.
Quite suddenly, he’s hit by the knowledge that whatever he does, he can never be as much as she deserves. Probably no man can, because she resembles an ethereal goddess more than a woman, though what she’s just done with him was very much earthly.
’Well,’ he thinks, ‘if I can’t be enough for her it means I will only have to spend the rest of my life trying’.
“Mulder?” She calls softly, interrupting his stream of consciousness.
”Yeah?”
”I love you too.”
He closes his eyes, drawing in a deep breath. If he were to die now, he knows he would die a happy man.