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Bill and Ted sat together with their backs against the headboard of Bill's bed. Bill had just gotten a TV for his bedroom, and he was stoked to show it to Ted. Unfortunately, however, Bill could barely even focus on what was happening to Doc and Marty in the movie. His mind was completely preoccupied with something else.
He needed to pee. Like, most heinously bad. And he couldn't get his stupid belt undone.
***
The two of them ran to Missy's car after school let out, extremely excited to watch some flicks on Bill's new television set.
"It's got cable and everything?" Ted asked as the two of them hopped into the back seat of Missy's car.
"Well... no cable yet. But I totally hooked up a VHS player so we can watch Back to the Future!"
The two of them grinned before shouting in unison;
"Excellent!" They subsequently jammed out to their air-guitars.
The ride home was nice, in Missy's convertible, with the wind blowing. Bill and Ted chatted to each other about the new school year, their new teachers, and their new girlfriends.
Although, as their conversation progressed, Ted noticed Bill was acting most unusually.
Ted noticed that Bill kept looking away, and that he seemed a little distracted. Ted tried to figure out what was wrong, and he thought about asking Bill if something was amiss, but he decided not to.
They rushed inside once they arrived at the Preston house, and Ted flopped down onto Bill's bed, knocking pillows onto the floor, as Bill set up the TV.
"This is going to be most triumphant." Ted said excitedly.
"It certainly will be, Ted, my friend." Bill grinned and hooked up some cables.
Honestly, Bill wished he had rushed to the bathroom instead of going to his bedroom. His bladder was most uncomfortably full, and he struggled not to squirm as he crouched to plug in the VHS player.
He heard Ted's excited giggling as the TV crackled to life, but Bill was becoming increasingly anxious to take a leak, and he could barely hide it anymore.
Bill hastily grabbed the Back to the Future VHS from his bookshelf and popped it into the VHS player. He minutely rocked on his feet where he was crouched, digging his heels into his crotch. He gnawed on his lip and suppressed a whimper as the tape loaded onto the screen.
Then, Bill rushed out of the room, and his hands immediately began fidgeting at his belt.
"Be back in a sec, Ted!" He shouted over his shoulder as he rushed to the bathroom adjacent to his room. He did not hear a response from Ted, but Bill silently hoped that his friend had not become suspicious of him.
One hand frantically locked the door as his other hand pulled at his belt. (Which wasn't actually a belt, but a shoelace threaded through his belt loops and tied in a knot. They both thought it had looked cool.)
But now, it was most uncool. It was actually a most bogus idea to have tied a shoelace around his waist as a belt.
The knot wouldn't budge. And Bill was nearly peeing in his pants.
He squirmed frantically, squishing his thighs together as his hands picked clumsily at the knot. But it wasn't working. It was most certainly stuck.
Bill held back a gasp. This was most heinous! What was he supposed to do?
He opened the medicine cabinet in the bathroom and pulled out a pair of scissors. He really hated having to cut through his most savory belt, but this was an emergency.
As the scissors gnawed at the thick material, Bill's stomach dropped. The scissors could not cut through the thick material of his belt. What the hell were these shoelaces made of? Bill was dying, standing in front of the toilet while trapped in his pants.
Cursing under his breath, Bill resigned himself to his fate. He'd have to figure out something else later. Ted was probably wondering what he was doing.
Bill stumbled back to his room, almost in a daze. He couldn't think of what to do. The jittery, frantic feeling in his bladder was gone. Now it just felt swollen and awful.
He gingerly sunk down onto the bed without saying a word. Ted was already completely engrossed in the movie and paid him no mind.
Bill grabbed an opened bag of potato chips from his nightstand and set it down between the two of them. While he was grateful that Ted was oblivious to his predicament, Bill needed to figure something out quickly if he didn't want to piss his pants.
What could he do? Well, he could ask Ted for help. As embarrassing as it sounded in his head, Bill knew that Ted would try to help him out.
Bill unsteadily turned to face his best friend. Ted sat there, oblivious, tossing potato chips into his mouth and basking in the glory of Marty McFly and his electric guitar. Bill grimaced and shifted where he sat.
Ted glanced at him. He probably thought he had been sneaky about it, but Bill had noticed. Shit.
Bill crossed his arms and squeezed his thighs together tightly. He kept very still.
A few more moments passed, and Ted was banging his head to the beat of The Power of Love. But Bill just couldn't bring himself to jam along with his friend. His bladder was so heinously full, he felt like he would explode if he moved too suddenly.
Then, before the musical number was even over, Ted halted his triumphant jamming. He became suddenly still, and was staring most intently at Bill.
And Bill tried to act natural, he really did. But right as Ted turned to him, his bladder was hit with a most egregious cramp. This caused Bill's legs to kick and writhe most desperately, and Ted immediately noticed.
"Bill." Ted said suddenly. "I would be most grateful if you would tell me what's bothering you, dude. I wanna help." And he leaned in, with his wide eyes staring at Bill in concern.
Bill's face flushed. He couldn't help it. His thighs twisted together and he squirmed where he was sitting next to Ted. His fingers gripped the blanket they were sitting on. It must've been obvious what was bothering him. Bless Ted for being so oblivious.
It was hard for Bill to say it out loud. Despite everything these two dudes had been through together, nothing as embarrassing as this had ever happened.
"I gotta take a leak bad, dude." Bill blurted out, staring down at his lap in embarrassment.
Ted's expression faltered and he cocked his head to the side.
"So why don'tcha?"
Bill shifted and squirmed on the bed. His hand gripped the denim of his baggy jeans. His hands tugged at the material as he frantically tried not to leak.
"The cable belt. It's stuck, dude. I can't untie it."
"Here. Let me take a crack at it." Ted offered, leaning towards his friend where he was scrunched up on one side of the bed. Bill gulped as Ted came closer to him.
"B-be careful, dude." Bill gulped, clenching his muscles as tight as possible.
Ted reached across Bill's lap, but it was almost impossible to get a good grip and see what he was doing at the angle he was at.
Not thinking entirely straight, Ted grabbed Bill's belt and tugged him closer to him. Very harshly.
And this was most painful for Bill's bladder. Bill tensed up again and gasped sharply through his teeth, as both of his hands were suddenly jammed between his thighs.
"Oh, my bad, dude." Ted muttered, and Bill blushed against his will.
"I'm just trying to get a better grip on it. Here. Hold still..." And with that, Ted got up on his knees on Bill's bed, swung one leg over his friend, and straddled him.
Bracketed between his best friend's legs, with his best friend's hands reaching into his lap, and his bladder full to bursting, Bill felt like he was going to pass out. Whether it be from the most overwhelming embarrassment, or... some other reason.
"W-watch out, dude." Bill hissed, his legs continuing to squirm against each other.
"Hang on. I'm trying..." Ted muttered. His hands, usually awkward and clunky with a guitar, were actually working swiftly at undoing the knot.
"Ah, shit..."
Until they weren't.
"What is it, dude?" Bill asked shakily.
Ted shook his head and stared at the knot.
"Were you a boy scout or something, Bill? This knot is... most excellent."
"No, dude... I wasn't a boy scout." Bill huffed, feeling dangerously close to leaking.
"You got a pair of scissors?" Ted asked, leaning back and easing off of Bill.
"Y-yeah... In the bathroom." Bill then shot to his feet and ran to the bathroom. He heard the sound of Ted's footsteps following close behind. Maybe Ted could make the scissors work.
Bill found the scissors on the counter where he'd left them, and shakily tossed them to Ted. It did occur to Bill that there wasn't any real reason for Ted to be cutting off the belt for him, but he let it happen nonetheless.
Before Bill could rethink and back out of what was happening, Ted was on his knees, kneeling on the linoleum floor, reaching up towards the waistline of Bill's pants.
Bill tried as hard as he could to keep his squirming to a minimum while Ted threaded the scissors under the shoelace, and he ended up practically vibrating with how badly he needed to go. And Ted was still taking his sweet time lining up the scissors.
"D-dude... you gotta hurry." Bill whined, squeezing his thighs together and accidentally shifting out of Ted's grip. He grunted as Ted took the extra time to realign the scissors.
Snap.
It happened so abruptly, it took Bill a moment to realize that the shoelace has snapped. While he stood there, frozen like a statue, Ted grabbed one end of the shoelace and yanked it out from the belt loops.
"There ya go, dude." Ted patted Bill's thigh as he hoisted himself off the ground.
"Thanks!" Bill gasped, then fiddledwith the belt and zipper on his jeans as a thin trickle of pee suddenly decided to start dribbling down his leg.
"Shit!" He grunted, finally yanking the zipper down and leaking onto the toilet seat that he had forgotten to lift.
Once his stream was finally gushing out freely, Bill couldn't help but moan softly in relief. From where he was facing the toilet, he couldn't see if Ted was still standing there, but he didn't care. All that mattered was that he was finally peeing. And it felt so good. Relief flooded through his body and he shivered.
Bill pushed out a final trickle, and zipped himself up. When he turned around, he found that thankfully, Ted had gone back to the bedroom. But he had left the door open, which made Bill a little bit peeved.
"Thanks again, dude." Bill said shyly as he slid back onto the bed next to Ted.
"Yah. No prob." Ted was already engrossed in the movie again, and wasn't taking his eyes off the screen.
Ted popped a chip in his mouth and chewed loudly. Bill sighed contentedly and grabbed the potato chips from Ted's lap. Bill was lucky to have such an excellent friend.